ML Interest Tag: emotion

Children’s Mental Health in the Time of Quarantine

By Brian Wray

Even before the challenging times we’re facing, talking about mental and emotional health issues could be daunting for a lot of parents and children. Now, in the time of COVID-19, things certainly aren’t any easier. Parents have found themselves as a teacher, as well as a wage earner and caregiver.

Juggling those roles, combined with the uncertainty that we are facing has understandably added a lot of extra stress. I’m speaking from experience. As I write this in our Brooklyn apartment, our 4-year-old is running back and forth behind me, singing “It’s almost time for dinner,” … loudly.

Though children may not fully understand what is happening, they’re feeling it too. Their lives have been disrupted by separation from friends, their normal day-to-day activities, and—depending on their age—fear of contracting the virus.

So much change can lead to sadness and anxiety, and children are often unsure of what to do with those feelings. Suppressing them can lead to multiple problems, such as acting out in anger, a feeling of isolation, or an increase in anxiety, and depression.

In my latest children’s book, Max’s Box, I tell a story that discourages holding in our emotions and instead offers healthy ways to help express those feelings.

Now is the time to get in tune with what our children are experiencing emotionally, and create an environment where they feel safe expressing themselves. So in time for Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day, here are just a few ways that adults can help a child manage their emotions in a healthy way.

Language Matters

Children have fears, anxieties, and other deep feelings just like adults. What they may not have is the language needed to express those feelings. Help your child build an emotional vocabulary by appropriately identifying the feeling they are experiencing. Try saying “You seem angry that they took your toy” or “You’re feeling sad that you can’t see your friends right now.”

Teaching children how to identify their feelings in the moment gives them the eventual ability to articulate those feelings as they occur, allowing them to express their feelings in a healthier way.

Focus on the Emotion, Not the Behavior

A tantrum can come from anger, fear, or frustration among other reasons. Whatever the source, a tantrum begins when a child feels overwhelmed by emotion. The goal is to avoid tantrums becoming the default behavior. It’s important for adults to keep in mind the emotion that’s motivating whatever is happening, instead of the episode itself.

Rather than talking about the situation in the middle of an episode, wait to discuss it. If a child storms out of the room, give them time to settle down. Attempts to convince the child to stop, or commenting on the outburst can positively reinforce the behavior. Once the situation is calm again, then try helping them identify what feeling motivated the tantrum. If a child tries calming down on their own, it is important to acknowledge and positively reinforce the effort.

Teach Alternatives

Providing the chance for children to think of alternative solutions to different situations is a great way to involve them in imagining different ways to express themselves, and gives them a more direct role in managing their responses.

Try asking questions like, “You’re frustrated because the tower you’re building keeps falling over. What can you do about that? I think you could ask for help or try building it again? What do you think?”

Talking about your own feelings is another way of offering alternatives. “When I’m feeling angry, I take three deep breaths. Then I can start thinking about solving what’s frustrating me.”

It’s Alright to Cry

Yes, this still needs to be said. Well-intentioned adults can directly or indirectly convey that there is something wrong with crying. Let children know that crying is okay. Sadness, fear, pain, anger, and even happiness can be accompanied by tears. Acknowledge the emotion that is motivating the tears, rather than the crying itself.

Reconnecting and Storytime

Now, possibly more than ever, it’s important to dedicate time every day for activities that help relax children. Younger children especially, need to feel a connection to their parents to help regulate their emotions. Singing songs together, or just cuddling are wonderful ways to soothe a child.

Speaking again from experience, storytime is a great way to connect. Reading to children has multiple positive effects; teaching them how to describe their feelings among them. Allowing a child to see themselves in a story, shows them that they are not alone in their experience.

When a child feels connected to you, and in a safe environment to express themselves, many important conversations can begin. Those conversations may not only ease the stress of our current situation but provide them with tools they can use for a lifetime.

Brian was born in Cincinnati, Ohio, and moved to New York after graduating from Penn State. In 2003, Brian was awarded the Nicholl Fellowship in Screenwriting. During an opportunity to write for Walt Disney Studios, Brian discovered his passion for telling stories for children. 

 

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Why Kids Regress During Times of Stress & 7 Things Do About It

By Mary Wilde

Photo: Canva

Are you noticing that everyone around you seems to have taken two steps back? Your baby used to sleep through the night, your preschooler used to be potty trained, your teenager used to be less sassy, you used to get along with your spouse, but enter COVID-19, and all that seems to have changed. At least for now.

What’s going on? Why do kids and adults regress (go back to old ways), during times of stress? Perhaps we are subconsciously asking to be cared for in a needed way. It’s like wanting to wrap up in a blanket, huddled in the fetal position.

Maturity requires increased inward “management” by the frontal cortex to ensure our behaviors comply with societal expectations and what we already know. During times of stress, all this goes out the window and we start acting more by instinct. This process can be physiologically explained in terms of blood flow changes in the brain during stress response system activation, but also, regressive behavior “works”—it serves an important purpose. Even though regressive behaviors can be problematic, our subconscious has its own wisdom. Our kids whine or cry, our teenager throws a tantrum, our potty-trained child has an accident, and we pay attention! Maybe this is partly what our kids are asking for right now. But they don’t just need our attention, but the inward emotions are asking for their attention and need to be addressed.

So what do we do?

First of all, know this is temporary. And common.

Also, consider the following suggestions:

1. Look for the message behind the emotion or the behavior and respond to that. For example, if your child has started wetting the bed again, instead of going on a tirade asking your child why in the world they can’t be dry anymore, sit down with them and say something like this: “I noticed you haven’t been dry the past couple nights even though it’s something you are really good at. It’s okay. Sometimes this happens when there’s extra stress hanging around like there is with this pandemic. What are some things you’re worried about right now?”

2. Teach your kids (and keep in mind yourself) that emotions are messages. If we can acknowledge our feelings with kindness and non-judgment, we can get to the root of what’s needed and solve what needs to be solved.

3. Communicate with your kids. Ask them what they know about coronavirus and what they want to know about it. Ask them what they’re specifically worried about. Share information and news in a developmentally appropriate way. On my website, I list some of my favorite resources to teach kids about coronavirus.

4. Support your child and take time to connect with them in a meaningful way. According to a large study about toxic stress in childhood, the most powerful buffer that improved physical and emotional health outcomes for kids was the presence of a supportive, caring adult. Even though it may feel that options for outings are limited, sharing the time is more important than the specifics of the activity. While maintaining social distancing recommendations, take a walk, have a patio picnic, watch a movie together.

5. Allow yourself to have boundaries too. Just because your child is stressed, doesn’t mean you have to let them sleep in your bed every night if you don’t want to. Meet your children’s needs in ways that honor your own. As parents we do find ourselves making various accommodations based on our children’s needs–this is part of parenthood. But when those accommodations cross important personal lines (which are individual to each parent), the cost outweighs the benefit. Stress is added to the system, rather than removed. To safeguard against these “costly accommodations,” we need to pay attention to our inward responses. If an important boundary has been crossed, we may need to speak up and creatively seek a new solution that meets our child’s needs as well as our own.

6. Try yoga. Really. Experts such as psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk have taught us that we hold stress in our bodies, not just our minds. This is especially true for kids, who have less sophisticated ability to communicate complex emotions through words. Yoga can transition us from one emotional state to another through physical movement. Certain poses evoke a sense of calm, others evoke a sense of power.

7. Learn and practice mindful self-compassion. I teach my clients to use the reflective “NMLK” exercise. The acronym comes from a reflected segment of the alphabet. N is for “notice” the emotion, M is for “make room” for it, L is for “locate” the feeling in your body and “look deeper” to gain insight about it, and K is for respond with “kindness.” Dr. Tara Brach teaches a similar practice but uses the acronym “RAIN.” She has several free meditations and even a free half-day virtual retreat.

Parents, keep up the great work. You have the hardest but most amazing job on the planet. This too shall pass!

For more about behavioral stress and kids, check out Dr. Mary Wilde and connect with her on Instagram.

 

This post originally appeared on Mother.ly.

I am an integrative pediatrician, author and mom of 8. I am the owner of Imagine Pediatrics Behavioral Health and Wellness and creator of the Overcoming Childhood Anxiety online courses and the Compassion Parenting program. I love singing, hiking and eating ice cream! Learn more at drmarywilde.com.

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Help Ease Your Child’s Anxiety during COVID-19 with These 3 Tips

By Maria Sofia

Photo: Instagram

Children can sense the energy around them more so than adults. Their innocence naturally carries the highest vibration, which is love. This is why, in this time of COVID-19, it is important to be conscious that as their parents, they are picking up on your energy. If you are worrying and stuck in fear mode, your children will be susceptible to that kind of energy. Even when you think as a parent your child is not listening to you trust me, they are. I have many friends of mine tell me that their children are listening to conversations even when they thought they were preoccupied playing.

It is important especially during these times to present them with tools that will help them build their life skills. Here are a few activities you can do with them to help them not only process fear but build their subconscious with valuable ways to learn how to become aware of their feelings.

 Make a Gratitude Jar

1. Get a plain mason jar and have your child dress it up, call it the gratitude jar. This is a fun activity that will also develop your children’s form of creativity.

2. Each day have them write down on a piece of paper, something they are grateful for. Have them place it inside the jar and continue this daily. You can always tell them when they feel sad or upset, they can go back and read their gratitude jar to help provide them with their own words of inspiration.

3. You as the parent can also contribute to their gratitude jar by writing down affirmations such as I AM Smart, I AM Confident, I AM STRONG.

This exercise will not only teach them to be grateful even when they go through hardships but also teach them to trust their inner voice which is what builds their own intuition. Their intuition is what will become their internal GPS that will help them process pain and fear when they get older.

Practice Grounding and Meditation

Children like to be grounded because it helps them feel a sense of security. Here is an easy way to help your child learn to become present in their bodies.

1. Have them sit comfortably, close their eyes, and visualize attaching their body like an anchor into earth. You can take them through this exercise as a guided meditation.

2. Have your child place their hands on their heart and ask them what emotion there are currently feeling and where in their bodies they are storing that emotion. Then ask them how it makes them feel.  As the parent you are simply the observer, provide an empathetic ear without wanting to provide a solution. As parents, you tend to want to fix your children’s problems by providing solutions but what you are doing is not allowing the space for your child to find their own solution which can be found within themselves.

This exercise allows children to express how they are feeling without being judged. It also allows them to learn to trust their own inner voice, thoughts, and wisdom. This will allow their natural flow of intuition to develop and they, in turn, will learn to trust themselves. Also becoming aware of feelings will also stop the suppression of fearful or negative emotions. If children are able to speak openly about their feelings and are aware of where the emotion is stored in their bodies, it will result in being able to process negatives emotions and not keep in stored in areas of their bodies.

Journal Exercise

You can also encourage children to write their emotions in their own personal journal. This will help them to express what they are feeling daily some children are not as expressive as others verbally. Writing is a form of energy release and allows children to openly express their emotions and state of well being through writing in a journal. This will also allow their creativity to shine through because they are learning how to verbalizes their emotions on paper. Journal also allows a safe place for children to openly express themselves in quiet surroundings rather in the presence of another.

It is important that during hard times as parents we give our children the tools, they need to process fear. Not all experiences in life have to be difficult, it is how we choose to react to these experiences that will shape how your children view fear and react to the world around them.

 

 

Maria Sofia’s life mission—inspired by her personal struggles with weight loss —is to educate parents and teachers on the importance of teaching nutrition to young children. Maria is a certified Health, Life and Trauma Coach. She is currently working toward her PhD in holistic health and lives in Toronto.

 

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Speak & Listen to Your Kids—No Words Required

By Jocelyn Greene

In 1989 my parents made a VHS recording of Into the Woods when the B’way show aired on PBS. That tape must have been made of strong stuff since I probably watched scores of times. I knew all the words, made up secret handshakes with my best friend to the Sondheim lyrics and dressed as Little Red Riding Hood for Halloween for three consecutive years, totally inspired by that show.

But it wasn’t until I became a mom that I understood the “Children Will Listen” song that the Witch sings about her daughter, Rapunzel.  When I recently directed a group of kids in the Broadway Jr version, these lyrics cut me to the quick. The kids stood out simply and sang:

Careful the things you say

Children will listen

Careful the things you do

Children will see and learn

Children may not obey, but children will listen

Children will look to you for which way to turn

To learn what to be

Careful before you say “Listen to me”

Sondheim was wise.  

“Listening” is one of those words that actors and acting teachers care a great deal about. When we really listen instead of planning what we are going to do on stage or in front of the camera, we can have authentic reactions. Why is it so hard to do this? Possibly because we don’t actually listen enough in our real life?  

So what if we take words out of the equation. Can we listen to our kids, without language? Can we create a meaningful and intimate conversation where we are giving and receiving information but no words are exchanged? Where listening is with our body and our heart? Where talking is through gesture and emotion?

I want Nathaniel to know that I hear him – to feel like I get what he is giving me. And in turn, I know that he will listen, like the lyrics say. So what can I give him to listen to that is simple, truthful and filled with love?

Here’s the game for that: Magic Mirror

Mirrors are portals to the fantasy world—as in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass. They can also be portentous instruments of information as in Snow White or Beauty and the Beast.  It isn’t hard to convince your child to play a Magical Mirror game.

Explain to your child that they get to do whatever they like and the Mirror (you) will follow them. The goal is not to leave the mirror behind so you have to go really slowly – slower than you normally would to do an activity.

Use this as a way to connect with your child when the incessant stream of language is overwhelming, when you hear yourself talking too much or when you just want a new way to bond. 

I’d love to hear about your experience playing Magic Mirror—so chime in below and tell us how you did it!

 

 

This post originally appeared on Child's Play In Action.

Jocelyn Greene is a Brooklyn based educator, director and mom.  With her company, Child's Play NY, she teaches hundreds of kids a year and is equally joyous adapting fairytales for 4s as she is staging Shakespaere with the teens. Check out http://www.childsplayinaction.com/ for video tutorials on game-based play to do at home! 

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Confronting the Fear of the Unknown

By Tamara Jacobi

We’re all facing it right now—the unknown. With this new territory comes fear. As new parents, this fear is more present than ever before. Is this a bad thing? No, in fact, it’s a gateway.

Fear is a healthy emotion.

“Fear is a universal experience. Even the smallest insect feels it. We wade in the tidal pools and put our finger near the soft open bodies of sea anemones and they close up. It’s part of being alive. Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” —Pema Chödrön

As I’ve blazed my own trail through life and business in the jungle, I’ve become acquainted with confronting fear in a variety of forms: wilderness, cultural, personal, and professional. Most recently, in the last 6 months of my life, I’ve faced several terrifyingly major events: I gave birth to my son, launched a book, did my first public speaking and am now living through a pandemic. Each was very scary but in very different ways.

Perhaps there are two different flavors of fear:

1. Fear + excitement
2. Fear + anxiety

Like me, you may be getting regular tastes of both kinds right now. Fear of leaving the house and exposing my family to COVID-19? Anxiety. Fear of change and new possibilities? Excitement. Though this is a brutally challenging time for so many, there are also silver linings and new beginnings that may ultimately make us stronger as parents, as families.

With this in mind, can we use fear as an inner compass? I propose:

Fear + anxiety = warning, slow down, proceed with caution.

Fear + excitement = we’re pointed towards our next challenge; our growth.

I’ve made a decision and I hope you will join me.

When we encounter fear, let’s meet it head-on. Let’s deconstruct the fear—tap into its wisdom, channel it, use fear to our advantage. Let’s let go of the mentality of fear. Though fear may slow “progress,” it also prompts a clear evaluation of a situation, a valuable opportunity to analyze and choose our path.

May fear + excitement be a gateway and an inspiration to fill our heads (and our kids’ heads too!) with positive self-talk and surround ourselves with encouragement and support—people who believe in us—friends, family, or coach (there are lots of virtual options available for this too.) Let’s find the people who pick us up, dust us off, give us courage to confront fear and keep us on track and we may also learn from those who haven’t confronted their fears and have regrets.

What fears are you facing right now? In what direction is your inner compass pointing you and your family?

Stay healthy, keep tuning into your fear barometer, and take a step closer to your truth.

         

This post originally appeared on Wildpeneurs.

Known as “The Jungle Mama”, Tamara Jacobi is the author of Wildpreneurs:A Guide for Turning Passion into Business (HarperCollins Leadership, Feb. 2020) and founder of the Tailwind Jungle Lodge on the Mexican Pacific. Tamara is loving the adventure of motherhood! Her son Zephyr was born on Oct, 2019. 

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One Research-Backed Way to Diminish Toddler Tantrums

By Amy Webb

Photo: pexels

All I wanted was to walk on the treadmill for maybe…20 minutes. Is that too much to ask?

I had a great plan–I would hop on the treadmill in the basement while my son (age 2 at the time) played with the plethora of toys down there. Easy peasy.

Minute 5 rolled around and the whining began.

“Car on track…ahh.” My son couldn’t get the little Matchbox car onto the track the right way.

“I’ll help you in just a few minutes,” I said hoping he would calm down on his own. “Do it myself…urrgh, it won’t go,” my son continued. I could see the tension building but I decided the push on. I really needed some exercise.

Then I heard it–a loud “clunk.” My toddler had thrown the car across the room and it had hit the wall. Crying and fussing ensued. Oops, I had missed the point of no return. We were in full-on tantrum mode.

“Remain calm,” I told myself. “He’s just frustrated.”

I try to calm him but to no avail. He pushed me away. He had to get it out. I told him to take some breaths but that just made him more upset. So I just stood by him and he eventually calmed down but it took a long time.

My “20 minutes on the treadmill” had turned into a half-hour fiasco.

This is Him

I look back at this incident now and I see–this is what it means to be a toddler. He was trying so hard to assert his independence and he is very independent by nature. “I do it myself” is a constant refrain, even now at almost-4 years old.

But…

This is Him Learning

Toddlers are often testing limits, but they do it because they are learning. They are learning new skills, new ideas and how they fit in their world.

Combine a strive for independence and limited self-regulation, you have a recipe for potential high-stress situations. As parents, it’s tough to keep a calm attitude.

Well, a recent piece of research should give you a little hope.

Researchers at the Oregon Social Learning Center recently published an article showing that parents who can keep their “cool” when their youngsters test their patience have a better chance of their kids not having behavior problems in the future.

The primary finding showed that children whose parents who have a tendency to over-react and/or are quick to get angry with them, are more likely to have more tantrums and negative behavior at age 2. Is important to note that most children increase in their tantrum-type behavior during this toddler period, but this study clearly showed that children whose parents over-reacted increased in this negative behavior more than average.

Being the Model I Want Him to See

The good news for parents is that if you can maintain your “cool” while still setting firm boundaries, you are helping your child learn emotion regulation by your example. When a child misbehaves it is tempting to react out of emotion and not think about the consequences. It is a struggle to keep your emotions contained, but if you can keep your composure and discipline the child with less intense negative emotion, the child will slowly learn how to regulate their own emotions as well. So take heart parents, we can survive those toddler years without losing our sanity.

Diffuse the Situation

Knowing my toddler was not intentionally trying to derail my workout was the first step in keeping a calm mindset. Most of the time, these little ones are not trying to “push your buttons” or make you upset on purpose.

Knowledge is power: if you understand what is typical for toddler behavior, it makes it easier to take it in stride (at least most of the time). If we know that they act irrationally and have little self-control, that helps us remain in control.

The “golden rule” still applies to grownups: it may sound simplistic but the old rule of “treat others how you would like to be treated” still applies to toddler-parent interactions (at least to some degree). We are modeling behavior for our kids with every action. If I yell at my toddler (which we all do from time to time), then we are modeling anger. However, if the other 90% of the time, we model compassion, patience, and self-regulation, they will eventually learn this.

Ultimately, we are teaching our kids how to treat us. It takes years modeling, growth, and maturity, but they will get the hang of it eventually.

In the meantime, hang on for a wild ride, and maybe get that walk on the treadmill while he’s napping.

Amy is a scholar turned stay-at-home mom of two young boys. When she's not stepping on Legos, she writes at The Thoughtful Parent. With this blog she brings child development research into the lives of parents in the trenches of child-rearing.

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The Other Side of Fear: 5 Strategies for Living Like a Warrior

By Ruthi Davis

Dear Confessional,

Many times throughout my life, fear has tapped me on the shoulder when I least expected—it has also punched me in the gut and brought me to my knees in a whirl of exhausting and exasperating emotion. Fear is such a heavy, complicated, and often unexpected emotion that comes in many forms, but certainly not limited to the following:

Fear of failure Fear of disappointment Fear of rejection Fear of threat/harm Fear of overall lack of control over a situation or outcome

Personally, I can tell you that at this stage in my life, I prefer to live like a warrior and kick fear to the curb! I have honestly had enough, and I hold nothing back in living, loving, learning, and propelling myself into the life that I choose and work toward living. That’s why I’m happy to share my top 5 strategies for overcoming fear and living like a warrior.

1. Alter Your Mindset

“Your Perception is Your Reality.”

The only thing that separates you from fear is your mindset. While fear is an important, natural emotion, it’s also a stifling dream-crusher that will stop you in your tracks and have you running in the opposite direction.

Your mindset determines your self-worth and confidence, your action and inaction, your next step vs. the status quo, how you approach the world, and the spectacles in which you choose to view your circumstance.

Whether you choose to see the glass as half-full or half-empty, it’s still the same glass with the same amount of water. The manner in which you choose to see it is your personal choice that is typically followed by an emotion.

Were you lucky and proud to have a half cup of water when you were thirsty? Or are you angry and disappointed that you only have a half cup and not a drop more? 

If you simply refine your perception, you will then impact your personal experience. Alternately, if you prefer a different reality, then first change your perception.

How do you do this? Just be more positive in your speech, communication, and response to experiences in your daily life. Stop crumbling when things don’t work out as planned. Instead, learn to laugh, release, and rejoice in not having experienced a worse case scenario. In this sense, happiness is a choice. I choose to be happy.

What do you choose?

2.  Focus on Your Level of Control

Fear often stems from a lack of control. This feeling can grow and spread like a dark cloud, inward through emotion and then outward in behavior. No, we do not have control over everyone and everything, but we DO have control over ourselves and our choices to prepare, plan, and respond to any situation.

Instead of fixating on your lack of control, refocus your vision on those areas that are within your control. Learn to fully identify and manage all of the choices you can make within a scenario. Take control of your situation by owning your options. First be honest with yourself and come face-to-face with your situational anxieties, then create a mental list of your options and make a plan.

Take your abstract feelings and acknowledge them, understand where they came from, and break it down into tangible and manageable next steps—that is when fear will lose its power over you.

Can you think of a fear that continues making unwanted visits?

3. Just Say NO to “What If”

The “What If” game is a never-ending mental ping-pong of disaster. Stop doing it. The ONLY time that this game is even remotely acceptable is when you are trying to prepare for an event or occasion and are making sure that you have everything you need (i.e., packing a baby bag, planning for a meeting or presentation, or preparing for a trip). Otherwise, STOP doing it!

4. Goal Setting & Getting

When your parents and/or teacher told you that you could do/be anything you truly wanted if you work hard enough—they really weren’t kidding. You really can. The only thing between you and your dream becoming your reality are these 5 strategies, that’s it.

Stop letting time slip past you and “seize the moment!” It’s never too late, even if you start simply and keep a comfortable pace. The first step is to draw a mind map—make a circle in the middle of a paper with your true soul-itching vision, add branches from this center with greater detail about your vision for that goal, and then create simple steps for each branch. Lastly, make a comfortable and manageable to-do list for the day—and actually do it.

Most of us look up at a mountainous goal, and before we even try, fear steps in to overwhelm, worry, and laugh in our face until our dream dissolves. Instead, keep your ultimate goal in mind but keep your eyes focused only on one small step at a time for a minimal investment. Before you know it, you will be at the top. While obstacles and even avalanches may take place, it’s how you choose to navigate through each moment that will propel you.

What would you write in the center of your mind map?

5. Organization is NOT only for Type A’s

You don’t have to be a Type A personality to have solid organizational skills. All you need is true determination and passion to get you there. I personally don’t like stress, so I choose to rise above it by preparing ahead of time. Whether I’m making a to-do list to remove responsibility out of my head and onto paper, or packing snacks, change of clothes, or emergency kit for the kids to bring in the car in case of any unexpected circumstances, I’ve got it covered.

Remember to be honest with yourself about the simplest of situations or details that create stress and fear of the “what if” scenarios coming true, and be prepared. Manage each of the areas that you can control.

You are worthy. You are important. You are loved.  You are capable. You are strong.  Your greatest ambition is waiting for you to make it happen.  You can do it!

“The only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible.” —Alice Through The Looking Glass

with Love,

Ruthi

Ruthi Davis is a the Founder of Ruth Davis Consulting LLC with over two decades of success in advertising/marketing, media/publicity, business development, client relations, and organizational optimization for a variety of clients. Ruthi is a proud mom and influencer in the parenting and family market as founder of the Superfly Supermom brand.

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“Sesame Street” Is Launching an Arabic Series to Help Refugee Children

by Shahrzad Warkentin

The refugee crisis in Syria is getting some much needed educational aid from the place that welcomes all children, Sesame Street.

“Less than two percent of all humanitarian aid funding goes on education, even though half of the world’s refugees are kids,” David Miliband, head of the International Rescue Committee (IRC) told CBS News. Sesame Workshop, the company behind one of the longest-running educational series for kids, has partnered with the IRC to help.

Thanks to a $100 million dollar grant from the MacArthur Foundation Sesame Workshop is producing a new Sesame Street series in Arabic made just for children in refugee camps. The show will revolve around a muppet named Basma, who befriends Jad, a muppet who has just moved into her neighborhood. While Jad is never labeled as a refugee explicitly, there are hints like the fact that he has left behind all of his belongings.

Besides the traditional preschool curriculum that Sesame Street is built on, the series, which is titled Ahlan Simsim, meaning Welcome Sesame, will also focus on teaching kids how to deal with difficult feelings, like anger and frustration, that arise out of their situation. “We want every episode to identify an emotion, but then give really concrete actions so that children can learn what to do,” explained Scott Cameron, a veteran Sesame Street producer who is running this new show.

The series will air in 20 countries in the Middle East, North Africa and the Gulf starting in February.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: 60 Minutes via YouTube

 

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Proof Your Reactions as a Parent Shape Your Child’s World View

By Laurie Rinke

When I was a psychology major in college, over two decades ago, I studied an experiment called The Visual Cliff, that fascinated me then but resonates even louder with me now. Originally the experiment was intended to examine infant depth perception as it placed a crawling baby on a platform that was connected to another platform by a clear piece of plexiglass. The experimenters watched to see how the babies used textile and sensory discovery to explore and decide if they would cross the “visual cliff” or not.

The experiment was made even more interesting when one of the baby’s parents were placed on the opposite side of the visual cliff. In this study the parent was told to either demonstrate joy, encouragement, and happiness as the baby was about to cross the visual cliff or the parent was told to demonstrate fear, anxiety or disinterest entirely as the baby was about to cross the visual cliff. In the cases where the baby was facing the visual cliff for the first time, the parental reaction completely dictated if the baby crossed the visual cliff or not. In the cases where the parent expressed joy, encouragement, and happiness, the baby crossed the visual cliff. In the cases where the parent expressed fear, anxiety, or disinterest, the baby did not cross the visual cliff. For any parent or care giver that has seen a child trip and fall, the Visual Cliff experiment results are no surprise. If a young child happens to trip and fall and looks to the adult near them, the reaction from the adult heavily influences the child’s reaction to a fall. If the parent or caregiver audibly or verbally reacts (gasps or screams oh no!) with fear or panic, the child is more likely to cry or be upset. If the parent or caregiver audibly or verbally reacts (you’re ok or shake it off) with calm and reassurance, the child is more likely to get up, keep going, and feel ok.

Scientific research and anecdotal experience proves that a parent, care giver, or adults reaction and expression of emotion to a child who is attempting something for the first time (like crossing the visual cliff) or does something that elicits a possible emotion (like a minor trip and fall), absolutely impacts, influences, and in some cases, dictates the child’s reaction and the child’s behavior. Powerful stuff, right?!

Maybe the Visual Cliff experiment has stuck with me so much because I have seen it born out hundreds and thousands of times in relation to camp and my interactions with children. Whether we are talking about parent interactions with their children, staff interactions with their campers, or my interactions with children / campers, an adults emotional reaction to, and expression about, a child trying something for the first time or having an experience that elicits an emotion for a child, impacts and influences a child’s emotions and behavior tremendously.

At camp when a staff person can see that a child is struggling with an emotion about trying something, such as being nervous to swim in the lake or anxiety to try the ropes course, or even hesitation to play in an activity that they do not feel confident in, the staff person can have a definitive impact on that child. A staff person acknowledging the child’s emotion (saying something like, “I can see that you are nervous about swimming in the lake”), connecting with them in such a way that lets the child feel supported (saying something like, “I am going to be with you to figure this out and camp would never let you do anything that wasn’t safe”), and then confidently giving them manageable steps to try to move forward (saying something like, “instead of jumping right in the lake, let’s sit on the dock and dip our toes in first”), this allows the camper to borrow the confidence of the staff person and take steps forward to do what makes them nervous. It is one of the best things that happen at camp, that when campers can borrow confidence from reassuring, compassionate, cool counselors that enables them to take a risk even when nervous. This is a daily occurrence at camp and the fact that our campers are surrounded by child focused, developmentally appropriate, super fun young adults helps campers try new things at camp.

One of the things that I get to do during the non-summer months is visit families of first-time campers or campers who may be a little nervous about returning to camp. Families often share that the visit helps the camper get more excited and less nervous for camp and allows the parents to get more excited and less nervous for camp too.

I wish I could tell you that I had some magic potion or wand that I brought to these visits that created more excitement and diminished nerves, but the truth is, I don’t. What I do bring to these visits is my own personal experience of having been a nervous camper, my thirty four summers at camp, and my experience with parents and children both in and out of camp that affords me the knowledge that camp is an incredibly positive experience for kids and the confidence that we can help the camper and parents adjust successfully to camp. My positivity, excitement, compassion, and confidence in camp and the camp experience can be contagious. If I thought (or ever do think in 1% of the cases) that camp was not the right fit for a particular camper or family, I would be very upfront and honest about that. That said, I know with my entire mind, body, and soul that 99% of campers, given the confidence from their staff, from me, and from their parents can and will be successful at camp. I actually think that that is the “magic” that I bring to the visit. I reflect to the campers and parents, through my joy, encouragement, and happiness, that camp is going to be great, that I am going to be there for them every step of the way, and that they can do this. It’s a little like Glinda the Good witch in The Wizard of Oz when she says to Dorothy, “You’ve always had the power, my dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.” If I can help campers and parents learn that they have the power in them to do this, by letting them borrow my confidence, then I will keep “waving my wand” for anyone that wants it.

Going back to the Visual Cliff experiment for a minute, perhaps most directly as well, I will tell every parent out there that your child’s ability to go away to camp, adjust to camp, thrive and be happy at camp, and want to return summer after summer, is most directly impacted and influenced by how they experience and interpret YOUR reaction to them going away to camp. Imagine that your camper is on one side of the visual cliff and you are on the other, just like a crawling infant, if a camper sees their parent fearful, anxious, or disinterested about camp, they will be fearful, anxious or disinterested too, but if a camper sees their parent joyful, encouraging, and happy about camp, they will be joyful, more confident, and happy too. A campers levels of anxiety and excitement about going to camp, especially for a child’s first summer, but for each summer they are away, is most strongly impacted and influenced by their parents reaction and emotional expression about camp. Every camper feels some level of excitement and some level of nerves before camp (or anything like the first day of school or their first day at a new activity) begins. It is perfectly normal to experience both feelings actually. But, when a camper is standing on one side of the camp “visual cliff” and looks to the most important people in their lives (their parent or parents), standing on the other side of that camp cliff, what they see from their parent is going to impact and influence them more than anything else.

Now, parents are people too, with their own emotions and feelings – both excitement and nerves – about their child(ren) going away to camp. Parents can feel free to reach out to us at camp anytime if you find yourself standing on one side of a camp cliff and needing us to let you borrow our reaction or emotional expression. We can support you too. But, the most important thing you can do for your child when it comes to them increasing their excitement, decreasing their nerves, and feeling the most confident about going to camp, is expressing YOUR confidence in camp and in them that camp will be great, that camp will support them when moments are tough, and that they have the power in themselves to have an amazing summer at camp. Remember that when it comes to a campers success at camp (both before and during), the staff will help campers borrow their confidence, I will help campers and parents borrow my confidence, but the most crucial component to camper success and overcoming the “Camp Cliff” is their parents reaction to camp. And similar to what Glinda the Good Witch said to Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, you’ve always had the power, Parents! You just had to learn it for yourself and share that with your campers as you are key to your campers success in overcoming the camp cliff! We will have an outstanding summer and trust me your camper(s) will thank you for the wonderful gift of camp you are giving to them! Summer 2019 can’t come soon enough.

 

 

This post originally appeared on Camp Echo Lake Trail Blog.

Laurie is the Owner/Director of Camp Echo Lake. Psychology and Education major from Emory. MSW from NYU. She serves on the American Camp Association NY-NJ Board, the Girls Leadership NY Board, and with Project Morry. From Port Washington, NY, lived in NYC, Laurie now happily resides in the Adirondacks, surrounded by love and happiness.

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