ML Interest Tag: healthy-relationships

Making It through 2020 with a Whole Lotta Grace (& Acceptance)

By Tracy Shaw

Photo: Amazon

I like to give advice.

I created a blog all about offering advice, on everything from making Christmas ornaments to eating more vegetables.

But most of the time when I give advice, I’m really giving it to myself. Because I really need it.

It’s no secret that 2020 has been a dumpster fire. For some people more than others. And for many people, it has been way worse than it has been for me. So I want to preface this all by saying I am not special. I did not lose a loved one or my job. I have not spent countless hours on the front lines helping others to the sacrifice of my own health (physical and mental). My heart breaks for those who have.

But however big or small your hardships have been this year, I think we can all benefit from calling it the dumpster fire that it’s been. And giving ourselves a whole lotta grace for, however, we’re making it through.

2020, for me, started off pretty good. I ran my first marathon with my best friend in the happiest place on Earth. And I spent a hectic yet fulfilling weekend at a theatre festival seeing my child come alive in their expression of the arts and friendships with good people.

Then I was diagnosed with a stress fracture which didn’t just curtail my running schedule, it literally took me off my feet. I wasn’t able to walk—at all—for 10 weeks. And on top of that, a deadly pandemic quarantined the whole country, kept us cooped up at home, and isolated us from friends and family and our normal way of life.

I think it’s been vastly understated how this has really affected all of us. I’m an introvert and even I was waylaid by the isolation and anxiety of the quarantine and ongoing fear of the pandemic. The fact that I couldn’t even walk, sent me spiraling even lower.

But a lot of us put on a brave face. So well so, that others don’t know we’re hurting and need help. We self medicate with food, booze, tv binging, pick your poison. And many of us don’t even realize it’s happening. Another glass or another show is cloaked in self-care. And that’s totally necessary. And what I’m mainly preaching in this article is that it’s ok to do that and give yourself grace for it.

But when we slide into that day after day, month after month, it starts to take a toll. And one day you look in the mirror and you’re sickened or saddened or pissed off about how you got to this point—with more pounds or your body or bags under your eyes or fewer healthy relationships in your life.

I did see it happening to me, all along the way. Because It’s happened before.

Four years ago I quit my job to move to Florida with my family and be a stay-at-home mom. My career had been my identity to that point, for nearly 20 years. I spiraled quickly.

The common denominator between four years ago and 2020, is that I completely lost sight of who I was. When I stopped being a successful, highly paid manager in a high-stakes profession I didn’t know who to be next. This year, when I stopped being an extremely active runner who was always on the move, I didn’t know who to be next.

I’m only now slowly starting to find my way back. I did it four years ago. And I may do it again sometime in the future.

But as we close out this tragedy of a year, I try to hold on to that grace I always preach that you need to give yourself. I’m trying to find hope that the pounds will come off, that I’ll feel like properly getting dressed and fixing my hair again, that I’ll find a new identity again—this time being even wiser and kinder to myself than before.

So the advice I’m giving to you—and to myself—is not to assume that where you are, is who you are. There are seasons. They pass. And a new one always dawns.

Tracy Shaw is a mom of two, wife, veteran journalist turned stay-at-home mom and saver. Check out some of her tips for having fun and staying healthy on a budget at www.FrugalFloridaMom.com.

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5 Constructive Ways to Get Your Kid off Screens

By Natasha Ramirez

It’s no surprise that we’re spending more time than ever in front of a screen. Children spend an average of up to six hours a day in front of a screen, and teens spend up to 9 hours! “Where in the world did they pick up these toxic habits?” I ask myself, looking up from my screen.

Today, you can’t avoid screens completely. But internet dependence is a growing problem for kids and adults around the world. Because your brain continues to develop until you’re around 25 years old, children and teens are more at risk of developing an addiction to tech. I don’t think anyone parent wants to sit next to their tween at a Tech-aholic Anonymous meeting—is there such a thing?

It’s more important than ever to raise your child with a healthy relationship with technology. To be honest, limiting screens is something that would benefit even us adults. 

Signs Your Kid Needs a Digital Detox

Technology addiction is a real medical concern. Much like you can become addicted to smoking, you can get addicted to being in front of a screen. With social media apps like Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok generating literally thousands of videos and posts per minute and draining time from your child’s life, a digital detox may be needed.  

Having too much screen time can show up in your child in a lot of different ways: 

  • Weight gain or weight loss

  • Irritability and increased aggression

  • Impulsive behavior

  • Mood swings

  • Low grades in school

  • Issues falling and staying asleep

  • Poor body image

  • Social issues such as difficulty communicating face-to-face

Researchers are unsure whether these behavioral problems cause screen addiction, or if children with behavioral problems simply gravitate towards electronics. Either way, too much screen time can harm your child’s cognitive and social development. 

How to Limit Screen Time

1. Set Screen Time Expectations. The first thing you need to do before giving your child screen access is to set expectations and rules on how to use it. Giving your child freedom as they grow is an important part of development. But you also need to be their protector and limit access to things that could harm them until they’re old enough to make decisions themselves. 

For younger children, your tech rules could focus on how many minutes of screen time per day they can have. And consequences could be losing screen time or the device for a day. Since older children will have more freedom, the rules will be a bit different. Discuss expectations about what types of sites to stay away from, why they should keep their device in a public space, and what time in the evening they should put screens away.

Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, screen time is up in many homes. With more schools switching to a virtual classroom, children are stuck at home in front of a screen the majority of the day. That screen time adds up quickly. Make sure you stress the importance of time away from screens whenever possible.

2. Use Tech to Fight Tech. It’s not just you—parents all over the world are struggling to get their children off of screens. Thankfully, most cell phones now have parental control features to limit screen time and control what apps your child can access. App stores have lots of options you can download that will get your child to finally look up from their screens. The Activate Fitness app will only let kids unlock games after reaching an activity goal like doing jumping jacks or running up a flight of stairs. Qustodio can track your child’s location and screen unwanted internet content like pornography. A simple search for parental control apps will show just how easy it can be to limit your child’s tech time. 

3. Go Outside. One of the easiest ways to get your kid off their phone is to take them outside! Whether you’re going on a bike ride in your neighborhood or on a hike in the mountains, your kids will be forced to be off their devices. The lack of cell service and WiFi in the mountains also helps limit their screen time. Make sure you’re abiding by safe social distancing guidelines because of COVID-19 concerns. This means staying at least six feet away from hikers whenever possible, choosing a trail close to home, and wearing a face mask when near other hikers. 

4. Create Screen-Free Zones. Just like many adults like to keep their bedroom a T.V.-free area, creating screen-free zones around your home can help limit your child’s screen time. Areas like bedrooms, the kitchen table, and the car are great screen-free zones. Removing screens from bedrooms will also help them get more sleep, have better quality sleep, and prevent mental health problems such as depression. Mealtimes and car rides are a great way to connect as a family. It’s important to have these family bonding moments, and time away from devices can give your child’s brain a much-needed rest!

Remember that children learn from their parents. If you set a good example and follow similar screen time limits, your child will be more likely to follow your lead. 

5. Be Consistent in Enforcing Your Rules. Don’t let your child wear you down when it comes to enforcing your screen time rules. If you give in to their begging, it shows them that rules don’t matter and they can eventually get anything they want! Make sure that all adults in the house are on the same page in what the screen time rules are. 

Remember: your child is essentially a tech addict! Withdrawal symptoms like anger, pouting, or crying can happen when you start limiting their screen time. You know what’s best for your child—and that can mean you will make decisions they don’t like. But it’s important for their development that you stick to your guns.

Natasha is an avid writer, storyteller, and dog-lover. Her work has carried her from the bustle of New York at Inc. Magazine to the Santa Fe deserts at Outside Magazine. She enjoys writing about family-focused and community-centered stories.

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How to Find Peace with Screen Time

By Meghan Fitzgerald

Photo: Tinkergarten

Screens are an undeniable part of our world: Screens have enabled me to meet, learn from, connect with and genuinely befriend people in ways that have changed my life. Tinkergarten—this beautiful, natural human experience would never be happening for families without the clever use of screens.

Now that COVID happened, it’s no longer an option to wing it with screens. Trying to search for the one, definitive “right” way to manage screens has proven exhausting to me and confusing to my kids. At the end of the day, we each need to find the balance with screens that work for our family. Below we’ve pulled together next-level insights that we hope prove helpful as you face the next round of learning in quarantine and help you and your children develop a relationship with screens that works for you!

Avoid Mixed Messages

Show kids that, when they are on screens, you feel good about them being there. Kids pick up on our feelings and take on our screen discomfort as their own or start to see screens as a “forbidden fruit,” giving screens even more power. So, when you’re giving the OK for screens, give it whole-heartedly.

Look for Quality 

Look for who is creating it and why. If an organization values or has on its team educators or child development experts, chances are they are designing media to engage kids and help them learn. Look for who they partner with, too—organizations that are truly committed to improving kids’ learning tend to align with others who are as well. We can recommend Khan Academy Kids and organizations included in Common Sense Media’s Wide Open School project as examples of truly educational, engaging screen time.

Seek Interactive Screen Experiences

Nearly everyone enjoys a little passive screen time, but when it comes to kids and screens, the more interactive and active their brains and bodies are during the experience, the better. If you’ve tried online classes with young kids, you’ve seen this for yourself. Online sessions that include music, movement, and the chance to interact, ideally with a live and dynamic person, better engage and educate kids, especially young kids. That’s why we’ve designed our Tinkergarten Online Circle Time classes with these elements in mind and why, as parents, we screen for these features every time.

Set Reasonable Time Limits

Start by making sure that kids learn that there is a start and an end to a screen session. Before kids begin, you can establish with them how long it will be and try to make the units of time something kids can understand. For kids ages two to five, an hour is, generally, the suggested dose of screen time for the day, so try to time that hour well and balance it with other experiences.

Help Young Kids Transition

We’ve all seen kids meltdown or even tantrum when it’s time to shut off a screen—and it’s not their fault. Screens do a number on our minds. Considering that, it’s a huge ask for a child to get off a screen and move to something new. Here some great ways to help kids transition.

  • Stay as calm and soothing as you can, like you’d approach them when you need to wake them from a sleep.
  • If you can, sit alongside them and join a minute or two before the screen has to come off, so you are already part of their world, making the transition less jarring.
  • Give them a ritual like saying “goodbye” to the screen or putting the device somewhere special to “rest.”
  • Try to schedule something offline that kids love right after screen time, whether it’s outside time, a particular toy, or even snack time.

Look for Balance

It may not be practical for you to track the minutes, but do try to stay consistent with how you approach screen time. When you flip flop or change the rules, kids get confused and rules start to lose their “oomph” altogether. Need an alternative to tracking time? Simply focus on building balance into your child’s overall schedule. Make sure that they take breaks, and that those breaks deliver what kids need most and what no screen can offer—time to be outdoors, to move and to use many different senses.

Slow down on the Senses

Children need to not only strengthen each of their senses; they also need to learn to use them in concert with one another. And, there are senses beyond the 5 we learn about in kindergarten that have a tremendous impact on how kids feel, behave, and are able to learn. Using screens narrows kids’ sensory experience to sight and sound alone—so, it’s imperative that you build in chances to use all senses. How best to do that? Play outdoors!

Keep Screens in Sight

Right from the start, we’ve encouraged our kids to be in shared spaces when they use their screens. It’s required us to invest in good headphones for all five of us, but it’s cut down almost entirely on the “sneaky screen time” behavior. And, more than once, one of the kids has mis-clicked, and we’ve been nearby to help them navigate new situations online—lessons you really need to be there to teach to keep kids safe.

Co-view & Co-play

When you can, join your children for part of a screen session. Talk with them about what you are seeing or ask questions after the session to help kids process what they experienced. If you are not able to co-view during the day, set up a regular screen time ritual as a family, like Friday movie night so you can experience screens together and start to teach kids how to think about stories, characters, and who is telling the story.

No-screen Zones

Designating “no-screen” times and spaces—whether it’s dinner time, weekends or when family or friends are visiting—can help everyone, adults included, reset and keep a healthy relationship with screens. This old fashioned, screen-free kind of togetherness just can’t be beat, so schedule as much no-screen time as you need to unplug and really connect!

This post originally appeared on Tinkergarten.

After 18 years as an educator, curriculum developer and school leader, Meghan has her dream gig—an entrepreneur/educator/mom who helps families everywhere, including hers, learn outside. Today, Meghan serves as co-founder and Chief Learning Officer of Tinkergarten, the national leader in outdoor play-based learning. 

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Mindful Eating & 3 Ways to Cut Out Sugar

By Maria Sofia

Growing up in an Italian household I was taught to eat everything on my plate at a very young age. My mom made homemade meals everyday. In fact, all meals were always eaten at the table with my entire family, it was our family bonding time. My mom didn’t believe in restrictions; however, the only thing we were not able to eat was sugar. Sugar was a staple product in our pantry however it was only used for special occasions. 

I never believed in cutting sugar or food completely out of my diet. I enjoy food too much to enforce restrictions. In fact, the more I feel restricted the more I rebel and its the same when it comes to food. 

As a health coach, the first thing I teach my clients is to create a healthy lifestyle. That’s right, I said a lifestyle, not diet. I think what we need to do is stop telling ourselves that we are “going on a diet” but rather help ourselves understand the importance of creating a long last healthy relationship with food.

Secondly, I work with clients to understand how stress affects them. We are all affected by stress differently. I realized after all my hardships that I am an emotional eater and when under extreme amounts of stress, I seek comfort in food. Once I became aware that I was actually doing this I was able to change and develop tools to cope.

If you are an emotional eater, then you need to go within yourself and take time to become aware of and understand your triggers, only then you can learn how to control them. Once you do, you will be able to still enjoy your favorite treats in moderation. If you don’t feel you can do this on your own, work with a certified health coach could make a world of a difference.

The key is portion control, not restriction or elimination. It’s about eating foods that nourish your body—which in fact will help you crave less sugar. A craving towards sugar is your body telling you its missing something maybe you are lacking certain vitamins. From an emotional standpoint, we are searching for a quick fix, but often after we have it, we end up feeling guilty or not well.

Today I look at my meals in a mindful way, I called it mindful eating. Each person’s body is unique, we all react differently to foods and so our lifestyle should focus on eating foods that give us energy rather than take it away. Having excessive” amounts of sugar can cause negative effects on our bodies such as Type 2 diabetes, obesity, hypertension, cholesterol, allergies, tooth decay, and cardiovascular disease.

This is why it’s important to understand how sugar reacts in our bodies and become aware and mindful of eating foods that nourish and provide us energy in healthy ways.

Understanding the difference between simple and complex carbohydrates’ can go a long way in mindful eating. For instance, simple carbohydrates are digested and absorbed quickly and they provide a quick burst of energy followed by a crash.

Complex carbohydrates, on the other hand, are sugars that take the body longer to breakdown and are packed with vitamins, minerals, and fiber.  Some examples of complex carbohydrates are millet, quinoa, brown rice, and veggies. These are great because they do not spike your blood sugar levels quite so drastically as simple carbohydrates and help provide you the energy to sustain throughout the day.

Here are 3 quick tips for eating sugar in a healthier way:

1. Eat more fruits and vegetables containing natural sugar throughout the day this will help control your sugar cravings. Fruits that are naturally lower in sugar are raspberries, strawberries, blackberries, kiwi, grapefruit, watermelon, oranges, peaches, and cantaloupe.

2. Switch soda for filtered water—get a little crazy, add raspberries, lemon or any fruit if you desire this will help you boost your metabolism. Tip: Try drinking a cup of lemon water on an empty stomach in the morning help flush toxins and boost your metabolism.

3. Switch from processed sugar to natural sugars and use organic honey, organic maple syrup brown sugar or coconut sugar. If this change is too drastic, I recommend cutting down first, so if you use usually use two sugars then move to use only one at first to slowly ween yourself away from it. And you should stay away from any artificial sweeteners.

If you want a fun and easy way to explain sugar to your children considering purchasing my book called “Mommy, Can I Eat This?” I wrote it to help parents and children understand the importance of watching your daily intake of sugar. 

 

Maria Sofia’s life mission—inspired by her personal struggles with weight loss —is to educate parents and teachers on the importance of teaching nutrition to young children. Maria is a certified Health, Life and Trauma Coach. She is currently working toward her PhD in holistic health and lives in Toronto.

 

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How Much Time Should Kids Spend with Their Grandparents?

By Gay Cioffi

How does one match expectations for grandparents with their adult children about frequency and duration of visits with their grandchildren?

Like all relationships, the dynamic between generations is complicated and only becomes more so as new members are added, i.e., sons-in-law, daughters-in-law and grandchildren. However, complicated doesn’t have to mean negative, but communication and healthy boundaries are a must. 

How much is the right amount will vary tremendously from family to family, but again communication is the key. Since couples rarely discuss how they intend to divide their time with extended families before the arrival of children they may find themselves in uncharted territory when this conflict arises. But when the time comes, parents need to have honest conversations with each other about extended family visits and what works best for them. Then, even more challenging at times, they must have frank discussions with in-laws about the conclusions reached after those conversations.

Next, and here comes the really hard part, they need to be willing to compromise so that everyone’s voice is heard and some attempt is made to share experiences throughout the year. Figuring out a happy medium will be the goal in all of these situations.

Knowing grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins is a great gift to children. Parents have a responsibility to their parents as well as an obligation to their children to work to foster healthy relationships with their extended family – if time, money and distance allow.

Finally, I would encourage grandparents to put their emphasis on the quality of time that is spent with their grandchildren rather than the quantity. With my own granddaughter, who lives for part of the year in Italy, I try to appreciate the times when we are together and be grateful for modern technology which allows us to connect regularly on Facetime when there is a great geographic distance between us. I also try not to get stuck on a vision of spending certain days of the year (holidays) together, but instead look forward to and enjoy the times we can be together.

As my mother used to say to me, “We are always together in spirit.”

I am a parent and grandparent with over four decades of experience in early childhood education. I share my passion, wisdom and experience, with parents and the people who care for and about children at Little Folks Big Questions, where we're out to answer the questions parents face in today's world.

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Why the Idea of Screen Time Is an Obsolete Concept

By Laura Higgins

Photo: iStock

Searching online for advice on kids and tech returns loads of articles about “The Dangers of Tech,” “How to Regulate Your Kids Online,” and “How to Limit Your Kids’ Tech Use.” Parents want to protect kids and make sure they are safe, but is it right that we start with the negative view of technology? 

The benefits of tech are many—we take basic tasks such as paying bills, shopping for groceries or learning online how to do something we don’t know how to do for granted every day. But being connected for all these activities equals screen time! 

You probably spend many of your 8 hours at work on a laptop, using your mobile, connected to the internet. Then you come home, read recipes off your tablet while you cook, then watch Netflix while casually scrolling through your social media. At night Hive turns your lights out while you chill in bed with your Kindle. How come we don’t worry about adult use of tech in the same way we do with children? 

There are lots of amazing reasons for kids to use technology—in class, many kids learn with tablets and smart whiteboards, they research facts, they watch tutorials, collaborate with others, build relationships. They gain new skills, play and have fun, and use creative skills. All of these involve a certain amount of screen time, the biggest debate (and concern) for parents in recent years. Can we reframe this issue so we worry less about time spent, but concentrate on helping make kids’ use of tech more meaningful?

On his “Playable” blog, Dean Groom, an Australian academic who investigates how families negotiate video games and game cultures, talks about the four ways kids interact with tech—passive consumption, interactive consumption, communication, and creation. He goes further; “In school, I’d argue that very few children would conceptualize their use of technology in the classroom in any of the four, but instead tend to describe themselves as ‘doing work on the laptop’ or ‘going on Google Docs’ meaning that they still don’t connect the activities they are directed (required) to do at school with any of the things they would choose to do if left to their devices.” 

Groom is convinced that ‘screen time’ is just “a term used to demonize children’s use of technology by a cadre of adults including parents and teachers who, for their own reasons prefer children simply did what children are ‘supposed to do’ with technology.”

Kids need to have fun and to play, spend time with their friends. Technology gives them the opportunity to do all these things—sometimes at the same time. In a recent survey of U.S. teens, the majority (72%) said they played for the fun of it, over half (51%) said playing online helped them relax when they were stressed out or upset, and for over a third (34%) online is where their offline and school friends are, so it’s an opportunity to meet and play. They also need to learn, and many games involve creation or basic coding skills. Think broadcasting on a video platform is easy? It also entails production, editing and presenting, not just staring at a camera and talking.

One of the top experts on children and media—“Mediatrician” Dr. Michael Rich, Director of the Center on Media and Child Health at Boston Children’s Hospital/Harvard Medical School—summarises it perfectly:

“Screen time has become an obsolete concept in an era where we are surrounded by screens and move seamlessly between the digital and the physical to use them in virtually all human endeavors—learning, interacting, creating, having fun. It is how we choose to use screens and to pursue non-screen activities, it is the content we consume on screens and the contexts in which we consume it that affects our well-being.”

In today’s realities, the important role for parents to play is helping young people choose meaningful screen time that involves learning and creation, helping them understand that technology is a tool, rather than an extension of themselves. Parents can also encourage kids to find balance and build a healthy relationship with tech. A sign of an unhealthy relationship, for example, is not taking physical care of themselves—not eating or drinking while glued to the screen for hours, or consistently choosing technology over family dinners and personal interactions. 

Most importantly, parents are role models whose habits kids will mirror, so here are a few DO’s and DON’Ts for parents to keep in mind:

DO:

  • Set a timetable for different activities to ensure a good balance of work and playtime.

  • Limit checking social media accounts to a couple of times per day (with a set time limit per check)—this should help avoid endless scrolling through posts.

  • Put your phone down at dinner time if you expect kids to do so, but also remember that their screen time is no different than your Netflix time, all in moderation!

  • Buy an alarm clock (so there’s no excuse to keep your phone next to your bed as an alarm) and set a firm “no phones at bedtime” rule that includes parents.

  • Consider adopting a family contract with additional agreements that kids might contribute to.

DON’T:

  • Constantly check social media accounts (and if you see kids doing that explain why follower numbers, likes, retweets or shares don’t validate a person and aren’t worth chasing).

  • Scroll unconsciously through platforms.

  • Check your phone late at night or wake up to check messages.

 

As Director of Digital Civility at Roblox, Laura Higgins leads the company's groundbreaking initiative focused on providing the community with the skills needed to create positive online experiences, in partnership with the world’s leading safety and industry organizations. Higgins has over 20 years of experience building proven safeguarding, online safety and civility programs. 

 

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These Conversation Cards Can Help Positively Shape Your Teen’s Views on Sex

By Taran and Bunny Ghatrora

Photo: Blume

If you’ve ever worried about how to broach sexual health with your child, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s one of the most frequently asked questions we get here at Blume.

Let’s rewind last year to when we launched Blume—the first-ever cohesive line of products for people going through puberty—in order to raise the standards for how we discuss and address this pivotal life stage.

For most of us, puberty was a fairly traumatizing experience that left us scarred in one way or another. Whether that’s because we weren’t instructed properly about what was happening to our bodies, or shamed for what was—puberty left an unfortunate mark on many of us that we carry into adulthood.

In fact, we surveyed 1,000 womxn, and 60% said that they felt their self-esteem plummeted around puberty. We here at Blume think that’s unacceptable, and our mission is to change that statistic.

Not only do we create crowd-sourced products that help young individuals navigate puberty, but a key part of our work is also ensuring that we properly educate teens on their sexual health to prevent future issues from arising and normalize these conversations. This goes beyond traditional education points, like pregnancy and STI prevention. It expands into properly teaching them about essential components of sex that aren’t often addressed by school systems, like consent, communication and, yes, pleasure. Sexual health education is the right to know our own bodies, what they do, how they work, and how to take care of them.

So, as part of our recent States of Sex Ed campaign, Blume has launched a series of conversation cards to facilitate better versions of the “birds and bees” talk (that so many parents dread). Only 9 US states mandate medically accurate, inclusive and comprehensive sex ed, so we want these cards to bridge this knowledge gap that still exists.

The physical deck includes 152 cards covering fundamental topics like puberty, body science, consent, healthy relationships, body positivity, and self-care—all developed with a certified sexual health educator. These cards are aimed at helping you feel confident that your teen will feel informed, confident, and empowered—an experience that we all wish we had during puberty.

The cards include everything from prompts that call on your growing young adult to reflect on what they want to gain from personal self-care to helping them understand terms about gender and sexuality, and allowing themselves a chance to consider their own relationships with intimacy between themselves and others.

When it comes down to how to walk through these cards with your kid, we know that giving “the talk” isn’t easy. What we’ve realized, however, is that the awkwardness of this talk often stems more from the parents’ fears and insecurities than the children’s. Ultimately, at such a young age, you haven’t been subject to decades of sexual shame that most of us have been made to (unfortunately) endure. This is incredibly encouraging because it offers the opportunity to entirely reshape the trajectory of your child’s relationship with their body, with their partners, and with sex. Rather than instilling traditional fears and taboos, this means that the biggest part of giving “the talk” is getting over the fear of, well, giving “the talk” yourself.

It’s often difficult to recognize our own hangups or insecurities and how they affect those around us. We encourage you, through this physical deck of easy and educational conversation prompts, you can open their minds to the misconceptions you might still hold yourself around sexual health and wellness. Take a moment to consider your own relationship with your body and sexual wellness. From where did your insecurities stem? If you could do it over yourself, how would you do it differently? This is a crucial part of re-shaping the next generation into empowered, self-assured individuals who are equipped with factual information to make healthy decisions. On a more tactical level, we also recommend running through the cards first—either by yourself or with a partner. This way, you’ll be knowledgeable and prepared to share them with your teen!

As parents, you have a remarkable opportunity. For every flaw that existed within your own sex education, you have this amazing chance to remedy it for your child. If you’ve ever mistreated your body, engaged in unhealthy relationships or denied yourself sexual pleasure due to societal shame—this is a chance to offer your child a path to do things differently. We underestimate the large scale impact that sexual health education has on every single one of our personal lives. It can change the course of our self-confidence and our interpersonal relationships. At Blume, we fully believe that this is a pinnacle moment in your kid’s life (soon to be adult) and that you’re the one who can make it special. It’s time to normalize these conversations.

Taran and Bunny Ghatrora
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Taran and Bunny Ghatrora are the co-founders of Blume, the US's first cohesive line of self-care products curated specifically for puberty and beyond. Through innovative, research-based products, Blume elevates and normalizes a nearly universal life experience and is building a community that empowers everyone to celebrate themselves through self-care.

 

 

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Research Sheds Light on Pregnancy-Related Body Shaming

by Erica Loop

Baby weight shaming is just something celeb mamas, who are constantly in the spotlight, experience. According to research from the Worcester Polytechnic Institute’s Angela Incollingo Rodriguez, the stigma of pregnancy and post-pregnancy related weight game is real for nearly two-thirds of women.

While weight gain is a perfectly normal and totally necessary part of pregnancy, plenty of expectant and new mommies feel pressure to stay thin—and as it turns out, society in general and the media are the two top culprits to blame.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B3CGpnvppMw/

One of Incollingo Rodriguez’s recent studies looked at how pregnancy-related weight stigma affected 501 women (143 were in their second or third trimesters and 358 had given birth in the past 12 months). The study found that over 33 percent of the women felt weight stigma from “society in general.” Over 24 percent felt this stigma from the media, 21 percent felt it from strangers and another 21 percent felt in from immediate family. The two least picked culprits were healthcare providers (18.4 percent) and friends (14 percent).

Along with the sources of the stigma, Incollingo Rodriguez’s research also revealed that these experiences were linked to depression, stress and dieting behaviors.

Even though Incollingo Rodriguez’s research isn’t exactly a ray of sunshine in your pregnant day, she did note that changing the message women receive about their pregnancy and post-pregnancy bodies could, “spark a much-needed culture shift.” The researcher said, in a press release, “There are already celebrity mothers out there, like model Chrissy Teigen, for example, who are celebrating their healthy bodies, even if their figures are fuller post-baby. That gives a positive message. That’s the goal, ultimately—healthy mom, healthy baby, healthy relationships.”

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Freestocks via Pexels 

 

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How to Raise Kids in an Instagram World

By Kristen Wessel

What started as a platform to share photography has now become a useful marketing tool for businesses of all sizes. With 1 billion people using Instagram every month, it’s no wonder people are using it as a go-to advertising platform.

There are plenty of reasons people love using Instagram such as staying connected to others, scoping out new destinations to visit, and self-expression.

However, social media can sometimes cause unnecessary comparisons, dissatisfaction with life, and a feeling of being left out. With suicide rates being associated with social media use, it’s more important than ever for parents to have tools under their belt. In a time when teens are desperately trying to fit in and find their place in the world, it’s clear that social media can harm their self-esteem and mental health.

How can we address the problem of social media and teen mental health? It’s time for parents to get involved and tackle teen mental health at home. While mental health is a complex issue, parents can safeguard their teens’ well-being with healthy social media practices. Here’s how you can make sure your kids have a healthy relationship with social media and a thriving life outside of their screens.

1. Show them what’s real and what’s fake. Social media distorts reality. Snapchat and Instagram filters are fun, but they can quickly warp our sense of what’s real. Take a photo and show your teen how filters are added to make photos look a certain way. Talk about how lighting, tones, and Photoshop affect an image. Show your teen FaceTune and other apps that allow you to alter and blur imperfections on the face or body. This allows you to alter your physique and create an unrealistic image for social media.

This sounds obvious, but many teens don’t realize that social media is full of almost exclusively edited images. They can learn to manage their expectations as they scroll through their feed, preserving their sense of self-esteem by avoiding unrealistic comparisons.

2. Encourage teens to live in the moment. Social media is great to stay in touch with friends and family—when used in moderation. Most of us like to indulge in social media from time to time, but it’s a recipe for losing time. Social media makes us feel like we aren’t living in the moment. We’re either caught up with other people’s Instagram posts or worrying about what we’ll post next to get the most likes.

While it feels like we’re connected with other people on social media, it’s a way to escape real-world social interactions. Studies show that excessive social media use can make a person feel more isolated and depressed. Set a limit on your child’s phone for social media apps. Experts suggest limiting teens’ social media use to no more than 30 minutes per day.

And instead of plugging into social media for hours on end, encourage your child to get involved with activities, like sports or school clubs, that help them feel part of a group. It’s these social interactions that will help your teen feel accepted and happy, not taking selfies on Snapchat.

3. Invest in your parent-child relationship. Adults are just as guilty as teens when it comes to social media use. Don’t let screens be a substitute for a face-to-face relationship with your child. Lead by example. Limit your time on social media and stop obsessing over your Instagram likes. Give your teen love and attention without documenting it on Snapchat or anywhere else online. Show that life happens outside of Instagram. Demonstrate unconditional love and acceptance when you talk to your teen, especially when they’re feeling low. If they’re feeling sad, validate their feelings and understand their disappointment.

Allow your home to be a safe place where they can talk about their feelings. This opens the door to positive conversations about self-esteem and their identity, which can help with early intervention to preserve teen health.

Social media is an important tool in teens’ lives, but parents have to set healthy expectations and practices. Together we can prevent self-harm and suicide by spotting unrealistic images, setting social media boundaries, and investing in our personal relationships.

For more resources about responsible social media use for teens and children, check out Common Sense Media.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the free and confidential National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.

 

As a former Emmy-Award Winning News Anchor and over 10 years of experience in the news industry, Kristen prides herself on being able to tell great stories. As an expert in communications and mother of two, Kristen gives her tips and tricks.

 
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How to Raise an Emotionally Resilient Kid

By Jacquelyn Oldham

Photo: The Little Gym

There’s no doubt that emotional health is equally as important as physical health. For parents, raising a child with a healthy emotional well-being is an immense responsibility. Studies show that as many as 1 in 10 children and young people are affected by mental health challenges. Because of this, it’s important that parents strive to educate their children about mental health and focus on efforts to help their children become emotionally resilient.

Emotional resilience can benefit children in many ways; not only will children have a higher sense of confidence and self-esteem, but they will also easily bounce back from failure, conquer challenges, and reach their true potential. While this can seem like a colossal undertaking, these 5 tips can help parents raise an emotionally healthy child:

1. Focus on Feelings

It’s important to teach your child at a very young age (think infancy) to express their feelings. Whether your child is angry, sad, happy, excited or scared, it’s important to acknowledge what emotions your child is feeling. Once identified, you can teach them the skills needed to cope and deal with that feeling. Show real interest in your child’s feelings and help them express and manage their emotions in a healthy way.

2. Let Them Make Mistakes

While not always fun, mistakes help children learn. It’s important to teach your child that it’s ok to make mistakes. It’s ok to fail. It’s ok to be wrong. Teaching your child that mistakes are ok, and encouraged, can help them develop a healthy relationship with failure and teach them how to deal with shortcomings in a positive way.

3. Let Them Make Decisions

Not only will allowing your child to make some of their own (age-appropriate) decisions help foster their independence, it will also help them deal with the consequences or rewards of their own actions.

4. Nurture Them

There is no such thing as too much love! Caring, nurturing, and loving on your child is a BIG way to help them feel emotionally secure and will also help them grow into loving adults.

 

5. Lead by Example and Take Care of Your Own Emotional Well-Being

Parents need to practice what they preach. By taking care of your own emotional health you can, in turn, help your child grow into an emotionally healthy little person.

As Director of Curriculum & Training at The Little Gym International and a mother myself, it’s important for me to explore new ways to instill confidence and resilience in my own children and the ones that come through our program. These pieces of advice are to help kids feel emotionally empowered to take on new challenges and know that they don’t have to be the best as long as they are trying their best.

Experienced Director in Curriculum and Training with a demonstrated history of working in the entertainment, education, health wellness and fitness industry. Skilled in nonprofit organizations, event planning, customer service, franchising, entrepreneurship, coaching and sales. 

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