As parents, we’re constantly told that too much screen time is bad. We’re told of all the negative reasons why we need to cut the cords and un-glue our children’s eyes from fast-moving digital stimuli.

And as parents, we get it.

We understand why too much screen time is bad. We understand we should get them off the couch and into the great outdoors. But do we understand that nature play has more benefits than simply being an alternative to screen time?

Nature play for children has multiple lifelong benefits not only for our children but also for our planet! Here’s how:

Children who spend more time in nature and with wildlife have better brain and overall development. In other words, they grow to be more well-rounded people.

While there are many benefits of nature play for children, let’s take a look at the top ways:

1. Provides Physical Activity
According to the AACAP, children ages 8-12 spend 4-6 hours on screens every day. This is causing kids to become too sedentary, which, in turn, can lead to sleep problems, unhealthy weight, and insecurity issues.

The CDC recommends at least 60 minutes of physical activity each day. However, as we’ll learn from the following benefits, the type of physical activity matters.

Any physical activity is good. Unstructured physical activity out in nature is even better.

2. Promotes Imagination & Creativity
Studies have also shown that kids who spend more time outdoors in nature do better in academics such as math, science, technology, and the arts. This is likely because there are no fixed rules to follow.

With nature play, children are free to make their guidelines and games. Such opportunities are great for creating and using their imagination which is vital to proper cognitive development.

3. Helps Build Problem-Solving Abilities
When children are involved in unstructured play, it helps them solve problems such as who goes first and what rules should be followed.

Of course, you will want to supervise the play for younger children. However, try to give kids a chance to work together on resolving problems before stepping in.

4. Develops Higher Levels of Social & Emotional Intelligence
Unstructured nature play helps teach teamwork and social skills. The children must learn to take turns, share, listen to each other, make decisions, and create imaginary scenarios.

Since the kids are creating the playtime, it allows ample time to learn independently among their peers.

5. Inspires Appreciation of Nature & Wildlife
The importance of nature play in early childhood is clear, but how does it relate to conservation? It’s simple. The more you can get children involved with nature, the better off both will be.

If you can get your kids interested in nature and wildlife, they will want to get involved to help make the world a better place. Perhaps they’ll want to plant more trees, or maybe they’ll want to support wildlife initiatives by preserving different species of animals.

In the end, it doesn’t matter how they decide to help. The important thing is they want to help.

Nature play nurtures kids to be happy, healthy, and caring. What more could we want as a parent?

So, don’t just turn off the screens for the sake of screen time. Turn off the screens and turn up the nature play. Your kids (and our planet) will thank you for it.

Ingrid Simunic

Ingrid Simunic is an award-winning communications strategist with a passion for nature and wildlife conservation. As a published Ph.D., she is also an award-winning author of the children's book series, Elliot's Adventures. Ingrid has the joy of collaborating with her son from concept to finish, incorporating his humor as a vital ingredient.

Photo: Greenlight

According to a report by the Brookings Institution, teenage financial literacy is positively correlated with asset accumulation and net worth at age 25. It may be surprising for parents to hear that only 28 states have some type of financial education standards in younger grades, including middle school, according to the Brookings report.

For us, this begs the question: If a school in your area isn’t implementing these types of courses, what can parents do at home to start the process?

The money talk may not be as intimidating as other conversations you might have with your kids, but it’s still a lot to think about. Believe it or not, 49 percent of parents say they’re not sure how to explain money to their child. Our answer? Start simple — explain common budgeting terms or have a chat about why saving is so important.

When kids make decisions on whether to spend or save their money, they’re learning about trade-offs. Kids learn a lot of other valuable lessons when they manage their own money, and the sooner they get started the quicker they’ll learn.

Open the conversation with something like, “You might not have enough money to buy XYZ right now, but add to your savings over time and you’ll get there!”  Another way to plant the seed? Try pointing out something that you’re saving for—maybe it’s a new TV or a family vacation. This opens up the conversation and makes it relatable.

Some tips on talking finances with the kids:

  • Get started early. Savings accounts can be created as soon as your child is born. You can do this quickly and easily by signing up for apps like Greenlight.
  • Set up recurring deposits. Deposits add up and grow over time, especially if you’re earning interest. When you’re ready, show your kids the impact of saving regularly.
  • Provide hands-on experience. Start giving your kids real-world experience with money and making financial decisions. When a night out at the movies means a delay in buying a new videogame, they’re learning. When they decide to eat at home instead of spending money at a restaurant, they’re taking action. Rather than learn these lessons when they’re out on their own, they can learn with you by their side, which is comforting for both of you.
  • Teach kids about saving. If kids can spend it, they can save it. Kids are tech-savvy so us an app like Greenlight that easily shows them what happens when they save money over time. When they start earning some money of their own—whether from gifts, allowance or chores—encourage them to save some of it, even if it’s for a big purchase down the road.
  • Talk about interest. Interest and compound interest are incredibly important for building wealth over time, but it can be tough for kids to grasp. Break down these concepts to your kids in a way that is easy to understand and fun to learn about. A hands-on approach is setting your own interest for your kids.
  • Explore investing as a family.  We encourage kids to explore real-life investing with their parents. Work with kids to pick stocks of companies whose products and services they understand and use. Have them research the companies they know to understand what they do, how well they are performing now, and how well they may be doing in the future.

To ensure our younger generations are growing up with a solid baseline of financial literacy, it’s important for these lessons to start in the home when kids are young. The greatest gift you can give your kids is to help them pave a path to financial independence.

Denise Daniels,RN, MS and creator of the groundbreaking children’s brand The Moodsters is a Peabody award-winning journalist, author, and parenting and child-development expert dedicated to putting young children on the path to positive mental health. She created The Moodsters—five quirky little feelings detectives who solve the mysteries of emotions. 

Photo: PBS Kids

Preschool is one of my favorite stages in a child’s life. Between the ages of 3 and 5, kids really start developing a sense of who they are and how to be a part of the world around them.

That’s why building self-confidence at this stage of life is essential. We want our kids to see what’s good about themselves, to believe in themselves, and to know they are important.

PBS KIDS has a great lineup of shows that encourage children to find and celebrate what’s great about them, including the new “Donkey Hodie” series. What I love about “Donkey Hodie” is that it celebrates the playful silliness of early childhood while supporting both kids and parents as we work together to build crucial life skills, like self-confidence.

Looking for some ways to boost your child’s confidence skills? Here are some ideas, with help from Donkey Hodie and her pals.

1. Let Them Lead

Self-directed play and learning are crucial to the development of self-confidence. In the “Donkey Hodie” series, Donkey and her pals are the leaders of their own imaginative play and activities. Being in charge of how they play is a normal and important part of children’s development during the preschool stage. Give ample opportunities for independent play. And when you’re playing with your child, you can try being the “actor” and letting your child be the “director.” Encourage them to come up with the ideas for how the play happens and the materials they may want to use. Ask about the details of the choices they’re making, and let them decide what happens next and what the outcome will be. Try encouraging this kind of child leadership in play by asking open-ended questions and saying things like:

  • How did you decide what to name those toys?
  • I wonder what kind of feelings these superheroes are having right now?
  • What do you think should happen next?

2. Get Creative Together

In the episode “Art Show Today,” Donkey must listen to her inspiration and work through her mistakes to create an art project she loves. Artistic play is a fun way to build self-confidence. Creating art or doing other imaginative projects gives children the opportunity to come up with ideas, make decisions on their own, and think about what they like. These are the building blocks of self-confidence.

So make some space to get creative! It doesn’t have to be pre-planned crafts—in fact, going in without a plan is a great way to foster imagination and provide more opportunity for self-expression and decision-making. As Donkey says, “There are so many ways to make art!”

3. Praise Effort in the Process

In the episode “Mountain Climb Time,” Donkey and Panda encourage one another as they climb Mt. Really High Up (“We’re on the right path, buddy!”). Part of being self-confident is recognizing the value in the process of what we’re doing — not just the outcome. We can help instill this concept in our kids by noticing and celebrating their efforts, and helping them to enjoy themselves in the moment rather than focusing on a particular accomplishment. This might sound like:

  • “I see you’re working really hard at that!”
  • “Hasn’t it been fun to spend time creating this?”
  • “You’ve had so many creative ideas for how to solve this problem!”

4. Practice Being Proud (without Being Perfect)

How do we help our kids continue to feel capable, even when they mess up or don’t reach their goals? One way is to practice being proud of one another—and ourselves—and to focus on what has gone well rather than what has gone exactly how we planned. In “Mountain Climb Time,” Donkey and Panda aren’t able to climb the whole mountain on their first try. Grampy Hodie reminds them that just because they didn’t reach their goal the first time, it doesn’t mean that they failed. Your preschooler will flourish when they hear similar messages.

  • “I know you’re sad you didn’t win, but I’m so proud of you for finishing the race and trying your best!”
  • “When you keep trying, you keep learning new things!”
  • “I’m proud of us for working together to get so much done today. We can keep working on it tomorrow.”
  • “Even though it’s not as tall as you wanted, I hope you’re proud of yourself for building such an amazing tower!”

5. Continue Showing Lots of Love

Fred Rogers, whose playful humor and work is the inspiration for “Donkey Hodie,” provided a wonderful model for developing healthy kids and communities. His words and legacy often guide my own parenting and have helped me understand how to build self-confidence in my daughter as she discovers who she is in the world. Fred always said that love is the foundation of everything. “Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.” When we offer our children unconditional and unquestionable love, we give them permission to see themselves as whole, good and likable people. When we love our kids and let them know it often, we create a world for them where they know they matter. And that is where confidence is born.

Lindsey Pruett-Hornbaker, MA, is a non-profit consultant and writer of grants, curriculum, and essays. She is a wife, mom, and clinical counselor-in-training. Lindsey believes in the power of strong coffee and inclusive communities, and she gets curious about life and parenting on Instagram.

This post originally appeared on PBS KIDS for Parents.

PBS KIDS believes the world is full of possibilities, and so is every child. As the number one educational media brand for kids, PBS KIDS helps children learn life lessons, explore their feelings and discover new adventures, while seeing themselves uniquely reflected and celebrated in lovable, diverse characters through television, digital media, and community-based programs. 

Your child is having a meltdown. You have tried rationalizing, distracting, even offering treats if your child will stop crying and screaming. Your emotions are boiling and you are at your wit’s end. This is the moment when parents, desperate and defeated, often resort to yelling. Unfortunately, the yelling makes the situation worse and you walk away feeling disappointed for having yelled again. 

As a parenting expert, educator, mindfulness and meditation teacher, and former elementary school teacher, I have devoted my professional life to helping families create more calm in their homes. In my personal life, as a mother of two, I have firsthand experience feeling remorseful after I have lost my cool with my own children. So if you find yourself yelling at your child, know that you are not alone in your struggle. This is an opportunity to practice self-compassion and know that starting today you can expand your parenting toolbox with these three calming tools. 

Tool #1: Understand Your Brain
When you understand what is going on in your brain and your child’s brain while angry, it helps bring compassion and awareness to the situation. Let’s look at two parts of the brain—the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex. 

The amygdala is almond-shaped and is in the center of the brain. It is primitive and when the amygdala is firing, you react quickly from a place of fight, flight or freeze. The prefrontal cortex is more evolved than the amygdala and it helps make decisions and problem solve. The prefrontal cortex takes a long time to develop (it will become fully developed around 25 years of age). When you have reached a breaking point you are no longer using your prefrontal cortex to make rational decisions (and neither is your child). Instead, the lower part of the brain where the amygdala lives is activated. Understanding how the brain works during a meltdown can help you appreciate the importance of pausing so that your prefrontal cortex can get back online. 

Tool #2: Have a Plan to Pause 
Don’t wait until the next time you are about to lose your temper. Now that you know your prefrontal cortex isn’t fully functioning when you are in the midst of a power struggle, you understand why you need a plan for pausing. When you and your child are in a calm state, sit down together and make a list of the things each of you can do the next time you are angry (one list for you and one for your child).

My list, for example, is: 
1. Go in the other room and take deep breaths 
2. Turn on my favorite song 
3. Go on a walk around my house or in my backyard 
4. Smell a flower, a piece of fruit, or an essential oil 
5. Play the game rock, paper, scissors with my child 
6. Lay on the floor and put a stuffed animal on my belly. Watch the stuffed animal go up and down with my breath 

Notice that my list are things that calm me down, but some also invite my child to participate with me. My daughter’s list is similar but also includes playing with her dolls, blowing bubbles in the backyard and taking a bath. 

Write both lists on chart paper, decorate it with your child, and hang it somewhere in your house. The next time you feel like yelling, go to your list and model this powerful tool of moving from the amygdala into a place of inner calm. 

Tool #3: Reconnect & Follow Up Later 
Now that you have avoided yelling and taken an opportunity to let you and your child calm down, it is time to reconnect for a moment. Reconnection includes being at eye level with your child, offering a hug and validating the feelings your child is experiencing. When your child feels connected to you, they are more likely to follow your limits and accept your rules. 

After you have reconnected with your child, you can follow up and find a solution for whatever instigated the power struggle, to begin with. You will be amazed by how much more cooperative your child is once they feel connected again! As you adopt these three tools, be patient with yourself as you go. If yelling has been part of your life for a while, know that it will take time to create new healthy habits. Your number one priority is to keep your child safe when you are angry! Keep practicing these tools and your yelling will decrease day by day. For more parenting tools and to subscribe to my free weekly Calming Newsletter.

 

Parenting Coach & Former Elementary School Teacher Laura Linn Knight specializes in helping parents and teachers create more calm at home and in the classroom. Laura is also Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher, a Certified Positive Discipline Educator, and a mother of two.

My daughter’s soccer league called it “Silent Saturday.”

On the designated day, we parents are instructed to be quiet. No cheering. No shouting. Just applauding if the team scored a goal or made a good move. 

The league couched the request as an opportunity for players to make decisions and moves on their own during the game, right or wrong, without parental interference. But it also came amid reports of increasing bad behavior by parents—not necessarily in our youth soccer league but across the country, from parents running onto the field and interfering with a game to punching a referee.  

It’s concerning. How we as parents behave on the sidelines influences how much our child enjoys competing. When we’re supportive, it motivates them and encourages them to keep playing. When we’re too critical, or act inappropriately, we place unnecessary pressure on them or make them feel anxious—and that, studies show, can drive them to quit. 

So what is a parent to do? 

Ask the kids, for one. 

It may seem like a no-brainer. Cheer, clap, shout encouragement—parents assume we know how our kids want us to act. But it’s actually a lot more nuanced and complex than parents think, says Camilla Knight, Ph.D., associate professor of sports science at Swansea University in the United Kingdom. 

“Parents need to take the lead from their child and remember it’s their child’s experience,” Knight tells MOJO. “Although a parent might think they are being really supportive and encouraging, research indicates that parents and children often interpret or perceive behaviors differently.” 

That said, in her research, including a study she co-authored in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, certain behaviors stood out. 

Among her advice: 

1. Cheer for the Entire Team.
Support all the players on the team, not just your child. In the study, players appreciated seeing their parents clap not just for them but for their teammates. Said one of the players, “It makes you a closer team and you work harder together.”

2. Don’t Coach.
Unless you’re the coach, of course. When parents try to instruct their child from the sidelines, it is distracting and confusing, especially if the parent is shouting something that’s completely different from the coach. Should the child listen to the coach or the parent? 

3. Don’t Embarrass Your Child.
Keep your emotions in check and don’t draw undue attention to yourself. Players, especially teenage girls, reported feeling self-conscious about how their parents behaved, even if it was in a supportive way. You may think your daughter wants you to shout, “That’s my girl!” But think again—and check with your child first.   

4. Respect the Ref.
It should go without saying, don’t argue with the referee, or, worse yet, fight with the referee in front of the team. One player in the study said that parents arguing with the referee “is pretty disrespectful. It makes me feel ashamed that they’re doing that for…my team.” 

5. If Necessary, Distract Yourself.
If you find yourself getting too involved in your child’s game, find ways to distract yourself, Knight suggests. Volunteer to take photos or videos during the game, for instance. Put on headphones and listen to an audiobook or podcast. Chat with fellow parents. 

6. Make Your Own Game Plan.
Knight also recommends running through various scenarios and how to respond. Ask yourself how you’d like to see yourself react if your child gets hurt, if a referee makes a bad call or if the team loses. Anticipating these situations can help you develop strategies to cope.  

Knight acknowledges that it’s easy for parents to become too wrapped up in a game, given today’s hyper-competitive, emotionally-charged environment—made worse by what she calls the “increasingly professionalized culture” that requires vast amounts of time, money and emotional energy. “It is much harder to ‘just’ be supportive than lots of people think,” Knight says. 

RELATED:
What to Say on the Car Ride Home

This post originally appeared on MOJO.

MOJO is on a mission to make youth sports more fun for everyone — one kid, one coach, one family at a time. 

As a parent, ensuring your growing toddler properly develops in all aspects of life is likely a top priority. However, it can be overwhelming to try to keep up with all the things you’re supposed to do to give toddlers the best foundation. This period of a child’s life is important as 85% of brain growth occurs in the first three years. Here are several ways to ensure your child engages in activities and habits that will simultaneously foster their brain health and development.

Regular Reading: One of the best ways to build language and literacy skills prior to your child reading on their own is reading to them on a regular basis. This will promote early vocabulary and listening skills that will, in turn, predict later success in reading and other school subjects. Books that are best bets at this age have engaging, imaginative illustrations and help develop basic language and number concepts. Let your child help pick out books they’re interested in will make it more fun.  

Action Toys: Anything toddlers can ride on, push, pull, or use in motion helps them practice motor skills and coordination—and burns off some of their boundless energy. Consider toys such as wagons, pedal-free bikes, strollers, play grocery carts, pull toys, plastic bowling sets, pounding and hammering toys, and large and small balls.  

Get Outside: Research has shown that children who spend time outdoors are more physically active, more creative in their play, less physically aggressive, and show better concentration. Exposure to nature also plants the seeds early for becoming more eco-sensitive later in life.

Try a big net for catching bugs or minnows, toys for outdoor play (such as balls), a sandbox and sand toys (shovels, dump trucks), and gardening tools (like a child-size rake and watering can).

Plan Some Playdates: Playing with other children is a great way to help your child learn social skills, but it is also great for helping them learn to make decisions and to work in a group or in parallel with another person. These types of interactions now are setting the stage for your child being able to master higher-level cognitive tasks later in life, so the more practice they can get when they are young, the better.  

Make Believe: Pretend play is fun for your toddler and great for helping them develop the skills for sequencing, storytelling, and logic. Encourage your child to engage in pretend play by prompting them with ideas, like “Let’s pretend we are pirates…” and have your child act out what you both should say. You can also pretend to play with dolls or action figures, and ask your child to tell you a story about what is happening.   

In addition to traditional toys and activities, nutrition also goes hand-in-hand with fostering healthy brain and cognitive development. Poor nutrition during your toddler’s pivotal years of growth can have negative long-lasting effects, so it’s important for parents to regularly consider their child’s food intake. Try some of these food-focused tips:

Grocery Shopping/Meal Preparation: Involving your toddler in grocery shopping and meal preparation are additional ways to encourage incorporating healthy foods into their diet while expanding their awareness of smart food choices. Directing them to the produce aisle to pick out fruits and veggies is also a great way to teach colors and counting.  

Smart Snacking: Children love snack time but providing the proper food options is important to ensure your toddler receives nutrients they need. Often during the younger years, toddlers are picky and require additional attention when trying new foods. In this case, opt for incorporating a toddler nutrition drink like Enfagrow Toddler Nutritional Drink Powder. It’s made with real milk and has nutrients like DHA (Docosahexanoic Acid) which is an important omega-3 fatty acid and a building block of the brain, as well as vitamin D and iron. Mix with water or add one scoop to recipes such as muffins, pancakes, and smoothies to easily deliver nutrients important for your toddler’s growth, brain and immune health.

A research neuroscientist and expert in nutrition, diet and addiction. Dr. Avena is an Asst. Professor of Neuroscience at Mount Sinai Medical School in NYC. She is the author of several books, including Why Diets Fail, What to Eat When You’re Pregnant, and What to Feed Your Baby & Toddler.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year—Girl Scout cookie time! We know how delicious those cookies are but did you know just how much good they do? Fun fact: The Girl Scout Cookie Program is the largest girl-led entrepreneurial program in the world. The Girl Scout Cookie Program prepares girls in the Chicago and Northwest Indiana area with the business smarts they need to take on the world! 

When you buy your Samoas® from local Girl Scouts, you’re helping fund unique and unforgettable experiences for girls, their troops and your local community, like learning coding, creating art or identifying insects. The experiences broaden their worlds and instill in them essential skills to prepare a lifetime of leadership. Read on to learn more about how one lil’ Thin Mint® can do so much, and why you should sign your daughter up ASAP!

Visit the Girl Scouts of Greater Chicago and Northwest Indiana Virtual Pop-up Shop, and support your local troops! You can purchase cookies for yourself, or donate them to essential workers and active military.

Cookies On a Mission

The Girl Scouts of Greater Chicago and Northwest Indiana cookie program is not only drool-worthy but a critical source of funding for local Girl Scout councils to deliver essential programming to girls. This funding also supports the council’s focus on ensuring equitable experiences for all through financial assistance and other resources. These are cookies on a mission: a mission to help girls learn essential skills for leadership, success and life. 

 

With each box of Trefoils® sold, these mini entrepreneurs are learning how to set goals and make decisions on how they'll run their cookie sales. Throughout the rest of the year, Girl Scouts set goals and make decisions around which badges they want to work toward and how they'll use their earnings from cookie sales to benefit their troop!

Selling Tagalongs® also sets girls up to practice important life skills from a young age. Each Girl Scout manages her own cookie sales, which helps her learn money management, budgeting and the responsibility and honesty needed to run a business! Girl Scouts also use this time to practice their people skills with their customers, and gain confidence through creating relationships and finding their voices. One box of cookies can set girls up with skills that last a lifetime!

 

Visit the Girl Scouts of Greater Chicago and Northwest Indiana Virtual Pop-up Shop, and support your local troops! You can purchase cookies for yourself, or donate them to essential workers and active military.

 

 

—Jamie Aderski

 

baby shopping cart

Becoming a new parent can be exciting, but it can also be terrifying if especially since it’s your first time. You will need to prepare well for the changes that come with parenting, and sometimes it means changing your lifest‌yle to accommodate all the financial needs that come with being a parent.

Parenthood requires a lot of planning, and one thing which should be at the top of your planning list is how to manage your finances to cater to all the needs of your growing family.

One thing that you will see change when you become a parent is how you spend your money. If you don’t plan for this change, you can find yourself in a deep financial crisis. To avoid falling into a financial crisis as a new parent, you will need to reduce and eliminate some expenses to accommodate and afford your new life as a parent.

Here are some tips for new moms and dads that will help them save money for their families.

1. Create or reassess your budget. It is crucial to create a personal budget or a budget for your household, and if you already have one, you should re-evaluate it to accommodate the additional needs. A budget helps you to track your expenditure and know where your money goes, thus making it easier to make decisions about how you spend. You can identify the essential things that really need your spending and cut back on some other things that are not essential.

2. Boost your savings and reduce monthly expenses. After compiling your budget and knowing where to spend and to cut back, you should look for other saving strategies by looking at your monthly expenses.

You should take out non-essential monthly expenses. Do you really need that Spotify subscription? To save money on your electric bill, unplug appliances and turn off the lights when not in use. You can also reduce your monthly electricity bill by cutting back on your reliance on appliances like air conditioning and only using it when necessary.

Look into the little things that you can forego, such as dining out all the time or buying expensive coffee. There is always something that you can do to bring down your expenses so that you can save more money.

3. Look out for discounts or promotions. Never get carried away when shopping for your baby as a new parent. Make a shortlist that will guide you on what you need to buy. Always stick to the essentials and what is really needed when on the shopping floor.

Also, when shopping online, you can save a lot by using promotional vouchers, online coupons, and discounts offered for the various baby and home products.

Make it a habit to always look out for weekly flyers from stores, which are sent through email as they may contain coupons and discounts on multiple items. These days, you can also find online coupons on retail stores’ websites, or you can search for them on the internet.

4. Remember babies don’t need a lot. After budgeting for the baby, the next thing you should do is reduce your spending on unnecessary baby products. Spend on what the baby needs at that time. Don’t rush to buy baby clothes and shawls that the baby might overgrow in a few months. One of the best ways to save on baby clothes is to get from family or friends’ hand-me-downs. When it comes to toys, you can buy just a few to entertain the baby.

5. Cut back on non-essential spending. You can save a lot when you cut down on non-essential spending. One way you can do this is by cutting down the amount you spend on dates and movies. You can also cut them entirely by choosing to stay at home and watching Netflix instead. You can hold off upgrading phones and even TVs to the latest models until you get used to your finances as a new parent.

Parenting can be a challenge for new parents, especially when it comes to finances, but saving money as new parents is not impossible. If you adjust your lifestyle and look for ways to spend less and save more, being new parents won’t be as financially challenging as you thought it would be.

 

Lauren reed has been writing articles for five years. lauren reed has provided her services independently and through the online employment forums.she writes SEO articles for bussiness. Her articles have appeared in a number of sites including https://www.techtimes.com/,  https://mommysmemorandum.com/https://www.thefashionablehousewife.com/

Her articles are of high quality and focus on balancing information and unique content. 

I don’t know about you, but I have had to make big adjustments to our house rules, especially screen limits since the pandemic began.  

Before COVID, my boys had limited access to social media or gaming platforms. Now, my tween and teen are connecting to peers through Instagram and playing games online with friends. I know that I am not alone. Many of my parent coaching clients with younger children have had to resort to the screen to get work done or just get a break from being with the kids 24/7. I am exhausted and worn down after seven months of pandemic parenting and I am sure you are too.

Knowing my priorities for my kids is usually how my parenting decisions are anchored. After so many months of loosening all kinds of limits with my kids I find myself questioning my everyday decisions, unmoored and far away from where I feel confident as a parent. Without this foundation, inconsistency and instability are causing stress for everyone in my house. So I asked myself, “How can I get back in touch with my parenting values when it all feels so much like a moving target?”

I decided to take out a page from my parent coach training. One exercise we often ask of parents is to describe how they envision their child as an adult. What are the most important qualities they hope to instill in them when they are all grown up? For me that’s pretty easy. I hope my boys carry forward lessons from childhood that leave them resilient, gritty and tenacious. I want them to embrace a growth mindset, engage in intentional self care and give back to their community. I wish for them the ability to give and receive unconditional love. 

After doing this brief  exercise I felt more in touch with my own guiding principles. I was able to focus my parenting decisions based on them. Each time I make a parenting decision, I know that I can fall back on these fundamental goals. I designed these four questions to make sure that my own decisions are aligned with my values when I am pushed to make decisions that are outside of my comfort zone. 

  1. Am I supporting their social emotional growth?

  2. Am I demonstrating unconditional love? 

  3. Am I supporting a growth mindset, resilience and grit?

  4. Am I modeling good self care?

So when I had to ease my rules around social media and online gaming, I know that I am actually still supporting their essential social emotional growth. And when I stay calm when they are releasing big emotions while we are all cooped up together, I am showing unconditional love. And when I need to give my child a little extra screen time so that I can get a break, I am actually modeling good self care. Even though some of our day-to-day looks and feels different, I once again feel my confidence re-emerging.   

The pandemic has been hard on parents. It has stretched us and forced us to make compromises with our kids that we never thought we would. If there is a lesson here, it is that sometimes it takes a shock to the system to rediscover what is most important to us. If you are feeling untethered from your parenting values take this time to reset. Ask yourself what are your guiding parenting principles? What questions help you stay grounded in them? Use this opportunity to find your footing and to rebuild your confidence. Keep in mind the long game, the one in which the parenting decisions you are making today, however big or small, are supporting your vision for your child as they grow into adults no matter what is going on in the world around you.

This post originally appeared on www.truenorthparentcoaching.com.

I'm Jenny Michaelson, Ph.D., PCI Certified Parent Coach®. I live in Oakland, California with my family. I love supporting parents through my practice, True North Parent Coaching. Together we uncover strengths and develop strategies to make transformational changes to overcome parenting challenges and bring more joy, ease and fun back to parenting. 

When I was a child, there was no way my parents could censor my reading. I simply read too fast and too much for them to keep up.

Once, though, I got hold of a science fiction novel by Robert Silverberg that had a sex-infused plot that was way beyond my then-current level of sophistication. When I reported to Mom that I was disturbed by it, she wrote in it “Not for young minds” before we recycled it at the used bookstore (as we did most books in those days).

But she still didn’t try to censor my reading.

I understand that there is a need to make decisions about what books will be in a school library, for reasons of space if nothing else. Within those limitations, school librarians must choose the best and most engaging books they can. And not all schoolteachers can choose their own reading lists, as they may be determined by the school, the school board, or parental influence.

As to what a child should read, I advocate giving the individual child’s taste free rein. Reading is reading and practice reinforces it. If the reading is forced upon the child or–worse–is boring, the child will come to view reading as punishment, not pleasure. (The same holds true of writing, by the way.)

If your children have questions or are disturbed by a book they read, talk with them about the book. With them, not at them. Most kids know what is too sexual or too violent or too whatever for them. I have even seen a child leave a movie that was becoming bloodier than he thought he was ready for.

And so what if your child reads trashy comic books or graphic novels? Or escapist fantasy? Or biographies of pop stars or sports heroes? As the child grows, you can suggest other books that may fill the same needs but be a bit more challenging. There are plenty of good adventure novels by classic writers, including Alexandre Dumas, Robert Louis Stevenson, Victor Hugo, and even Zane Grey. (William Goldman has a charming story about this process in his introduction to The Princess Bride.)

Or you may be able to interest a child in reading the book that a favorite movie was based on. Then ask her or him how the two differed. (The Hobbit is a prime example.)

The object here is widening a child’s horizons, not narrowing them. You may not like all their choices, but they surely won’t like all of yours either. It’s like educating their palates. You’ll get through that awful peanut butter and pickle phase and into realms as distant as sushi.

I’m not saying that you should leave your child alone with Fifty Shades of Grey (though if you have it in the house, your child is sure to find it). There are other books that can introduce your teen or even your preteen or tween to topics concerning the human body and sex – and the emotional aspects of it that aren’t covered in schools. Judy Blume’s books, for example, once thought so shocking, have stood the test of time.

The message you give a child when you say “no” to a book may be different from what you think. You may think you are saying, “That book is too advanced for you” or “That book is trash,” but the child may hear, “Books are not for you” or “Reading is worthless.”

“Let children read whatever they want & then talk about it with them. If parents and kids can talk together, we won’t have as much censorship because we won’t have as much fear.”—Judy Blume

Judy Blume is right. Reading and talking about it is better than censorship and fear.

Hi! I'm a freelance writer and editor who writes about education, books, cats and other pets, bipolar disorder, and anything else that interests me. I live in Ohio with my husband and a varying number of cats.