ML Interest Tag: reassure

How to Talk to Children about the Coronavirus

by Jennifer Swartvagher

With all the media coverage around the spread of the Coronavirus, it’s very probable that your kids have seen the headlines or heard about the virus at school. Children may be worried about how the virus could affect not only them, but also their family and friends. To help minimize their fears, it is important that we not avoid the topic and provide them with facts and reassurance in a calm manner. 

Andrea Barbalich, parenting expert and newly appointed Editor in Chief of The Week Junior, has some advice for parents when talking with your kids about the Coronavirus. 

Keep your kids informed. Barbalich said, “It can be scary for children when they pick up pieces of information from various sources and do not have all the facts. Help them form a complete picture of what the coronavirus is by explaining it to them in a simple way and letting them ask as many questions as they like.”

Let them know what plans the government and health organizations have in place. Reassure your child that there is a team of experts focused on fighting the virus. Explaining treatments and quarantines will show them what is being done to help prevent the spread of the virus.

If your child is worried about contracting the virus, you can assure them that chances are very low and that it tends to impact older individuals and people with health complications and weaker immune systems. Researchers have also stated that children are particularly resilient at fighting off the virus.

Mother and child washing hands

Most importantly, teach your children the importance of good hygiene. Washing hands for 20 seconds with warm water and soap is the best way to minimize the spread of the virus. Children should also be taught to cough and sneeze into their elbow and avoid touching their faces.

Barbalich advises parents to be mindful of their own actions. She said, “Kids learn a great deal through osmosis and can read the sentiment in a room well. If you are discussing coronavirus within earshot of your child, remain calm and avoid evoking a sense of panic that they could pick up on.”

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Jennifer Murray from Pexels

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Tackling Toddler Tantrums

By Divya Agrawal

Parenting is a whole new dimension when you have a toddler. Now your sweet baby has learned to speak and isn’t afraid to cry or throw themselves on the ground to get what they want. From the taste of morning toothpaste to choosing just the right bedtime nightwear, it’s not only what they want but wanting it right now! Toddlers are like little tyrants! Right? They’ve created their own rules now and they want to try and test everything (and everyone) that they will come across.

It is a challenging stage for parents but life can be a little easier (for you both) by following these parenting tips for toddlers.

1. Shift Their Focus: First, try to connect with your toddler emotionally. Only then you will be able to distract them with something else because they trust you completely. Unfortunately, toddlers don’t get distracted easily. You can try to guide them towards an activity that is a bit closer to their original demand.

If your toddler wants a drink in their favorite sipper and you are unable to find it, offer the drink in another sipper with a new straw. You can also give them the option to choose another sipper or cup that are available. Options will help them forget what they were upset about and freaking out. They might forget the feeling of helplessness in the process of selection and new choices available to them.

2. Show Empathy: Kids get restless when they are not heard. If you let them know that you understand what they are trying to say, half the battle is won. Toddlers need to know that you hear them positively and understand their feelings. In this way, their demands decrease. Before saying ‘no’ you can validate your child’s feelings. It will convert his disappointment into a meltdown.

If your toddler wants to go to a park, you can listen to them calmly and respond accordingly. You can say, ‘I know you want to go out for some fun. I also wanted to go with you but the weather is not allowing us to go today. Once the weather is better, we will definitely go to the park.’ It will reassure your child’s demand and they will understand that you listened and promised to go later. But never make fake promises as it will only result in a bad child behavior later on.

3. Prepare Them Emotionally: We all get irritated when we are upset. So you need to be prepared with toddlers every time. It is one of the best parenting tips for toddlers. Avoid planning an outing when your child is upset or tired. If it is important to go out, take along their favorite snacks, drinks, and a stroller to make them comfortable. To avoid frustrating situations, do your best by taking out extra time for any activity. In case your child gets frustrated with a particular activity, keep half an hour margin so they will not feel rushed.

4. Empower Your Child: You can let your toddler feel empowered and capable by involving them in decision making. It will assure their voice matters. You can ask them to pick an activity or snack by giving them options. 

5. Stick to a Routine: If you change their routine suddenly, they might throw tantrums. You can prepare your toddler in advance that you might change things later this week. You can introduce changes gradually after discussing them.

 

This post originally appeared on Wonder Parenting.

Hi Team,

I'm a mommy of a 9-year-old girl! I am an ACS by profession and writer by passion. This passion for reading and writing drove me to express my thoughts and experience on parenting in the form of a blog. Do check my personal blog - Wonder Parenting!!!

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10 Tips for Moms (Yes Moms!) Going Back to School

By Sarah Daren

Photo: Clay Banks via Unsplash

Every fall the kids go back to school but what about when it’s Mom’s turn to go back to school? Going back to school after you’ve been doing the important work of being a mom can be intimidating. You might feel like you’re totally out of the loop or that you’ll struggle to fit in.

The good news is that going back to school, while scary, can be very rewarding and valuable. A lot of the process will involve figuring things out as you go, but there are a few tips that can help you prepare for success. Keep these 10 things in mind as you get ready for your first day back in the classroom.

1. Use the University’s Resources for Mothers as Much as Possible

Universities understand that moms going back to school have unique challenges. Many schools have resources and groups to help mothers succeed and manage their coursework. In most cases, you’ll have to seek out information especially for mothers. The best way to find out what resources are available at your university is to ask! Your advisor can help you find the help you need to feel supported.

2. Be Patient With Yourself—You Don’t Need a Full Schedule Right Away

It can be very tempting to just get through your program as quickly as possible so you can get back into the workforce. However, it can be a mistake to take on a full course load right away.

Try easing into it. Start with one or two courses and work your way up if you find that you’re managing things with ease. You can even choose an online program if that’s more manageable for your schedule.

Be realistic and don’t feel bad if you can’t take a full load of classes. It’s better to do well in a few classes than to barely pass a lot at once. Be patient with yourself.

3. Ensure Your Kids Understand the Life Change You’re Making

Your kids, especially if they are younger, may have difficulty understanding the changes in their lives that your going back to school will bring. That’s why it’s important to be open with them, to reassure them, and to explain exactly why you’re taking this step. Getting them on board and helping them to understand why it’s important for you to go back to school will make the transition easier.

4. Identify Why You’re Going Back

There are going to be some moments during your educational journey when you feel like giving up. That’s normal!

To help prepare for these inevitable speed bumps, you should identify exactly why going back to school is important to you. For many women, it’s the ability to provide for their families. Just 14% of workers in the U.S receive family leave benefits, and many women have to go back to work almost immediately after giving birth. If you want a better future for your family, use that as your motivation during the hard times.

5. See If You Have Any Available Credits to Transfer Over

If you attended college in the past, you may not have even considered that your credits could transfer over. While each school has different requirements, it’s always worth checking to see if some of the work you’ve done in the past could give you a leg up and help you as you head back to school. You’ll save money, time, and you won’t have to re-learn information you already know.

6. Consider Scholarships Exclusive for Moms

Did you know there are grants and scholarships out there just for moms going back to school? If you need financial help to go back to school, it’s definitely worth spending some time applying for scholarships designed for returning students with kids.

7. Establish a Schedule…and Stick to It

Juggling childcare, school, and for some moms, work, can be difficult. The best way to manage your time is to establish a schedule from the very beginning and stick to it. Getting behind can make you feel overwhelmed, so it’s important to be realistic about how long everything will take.

8. Don’t Forget to Budget

Going back to school is expensive—and so is caring for children. As a mom returning to school, you’ll need to budget and plan for expenses that may come up during your program. Books, fees, and other expenses can really add up, so make sure you add them to your budget. By making a budget, you can minimize your debt load and make your life easier when you graduate.

9. Connect with Your Advisor

It’s important to ask for help when you need it, so start building those crucial support relationships as soon as you head back to campus. Connect with your advisor right away. You’ll get access to school resources and start building trust that could help you later on.

10. Don’t Forget to Enjoy the Experience

While it’s easy to remember all the challenges you’ll face when you go back to school, it can be harder to focus on the positives. Try to enjoy the experience. Make new friends, get into what you’re learning, and remember that this will all be worth it in the end.

Sarah Daren has been a consultant for startups in industries including health and wellness, wearable technology, and education. She implements her health knowledge into every aspect of her life, including her position as a yoga instructor and raising her children. Sarah enjoys watching baseball and reading on the beach. 

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What Our Kids Are Trying to Tell Us—by How They Treat Their Siblings

By Cindy Price

A while back, I was talking to a friend and she brought up her concerns about her 8-year-old daughter. This 8-year old has begun displaying bullying behaviors, pushing her younger siblings and taking things from them.

My friend was devastated and couldn’t understand why her daughter was behaving this way. But I had some my own thoughts about why her daughter had begun treating her siblings poorly.

Investigating the Source of the Behavior

Personally, I don’t believe that there are any truly “bad” kids. There are definitely children who make bad decisions and I fully stand behind efforts to curb things like teen violence—but I believe all children can learn to manage and overcome negative behaviors.

In the case of my friend’s daughter, I was acquainted with the girl and my own daughters had often been babysitters. My girls had never reported signs of bullying to me, so I asked my friend when her daughter started to act out, which was about a month after school started.

Since my children had attended the same school my friend’s daughter was currently at, I had a pretty good idea of what was happening. At this K-5 school, recess was held in two waves, with the kindergarteners, first graders and second graders being released to play at the same time. (The kindergarteners had their own area.) After that, the third graders up to the fifth graders were released for recess.

While for us adults, a couple of years difference isn’t much, but for children, one to three years of age difference can be an unimaginable chasm that can result in bullying.

Talking about Bullying

When I explained to my friend that I suspected that her daughter was being bullied at school and that was why she was being aggressive to her siblings, my friend wasn’t sure what to do. Here’s what I recommended she take as next steps:

Talk to her daughter.

If there is ever going to be a behavioral change, it was critical that my friend talk to her daughter about her actions. However, with the context that her daughter might also be bullied at school, my friend was able to approach the conversation more receptive to her daughter’s reasoning and feelings.

Contact her teacher and principal.

With much of the problem originating from her daughter’s time at school, it was essential that my friend talk to her daughter’s teacher and the principal. One of the solutions reached was to add two more lunch monitors to curb any bullying on the playground.

Sit down with her other kids.

Taking time to reassure her two other children and help them feel heard can do a lot toward not creating another pair of bullies who take their frustrations out on others.

It’s been a few years since my friend first spoke to me and her daughter, with plenty of parental and school support as well as work with a child psychologist to learn better coping strategies, has really turned a corner in how she treats others.

Cindy Price would like to say she's a parenting expert but she knows better than to do that. As a parent educator and writer for over 15 years, she's well-aware how quickly parenting practices evolve. Family is her greatest joy and she hopes her writing can help make families stronger. 

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5 Simple Ways Parents Can Help Little Ones Wrangle Their Big Emotions

By Lisa Howe

Photo: Chris Wojdak Photography

The researcher Brené Brown has found that the average adult can only identify three feelings. To have real emotional intelligence, however, we should be able to identify thirty feelings. Why is there such a huge gap between what we know and what we should know and how do we begin to bridge that gap? How do we become more comfortable talking about our feelings? I would not be surprised if reading the word “feelings” four times already makes you want to stop reading this column, but please stick with me. I promise it won’t hurt.

Emotional intelligence is extremely important in determining your success in life because it is closely linked to how well you will play with others. There are many studies now that indicate that high emotional intelligence is more important than IQ and is a better predictor of professional success, satisfying personal relationships, and overall contentment. How can we help our children to develop their emotional intelligence so that they grow up to be one of the adults who can identify more than three feelings?

1. Start by acknowledging your child’s perspective and empathizing with them.

We all want to be heard and this goes for your child as well. You do not need to have a solution for their problems or even do anything for them. All you should do is be there, see things from their point of view, and provide empathy.

2. Allow the expression of feelings.

All feelings are welcome. Of course, we limit behavior but we allow and welcome feelings. This is new and often uncomfortable for many parents who grew up in homes that followed the adage, “Children are seen and not heard.” Research tells us that denying feelings gives children the message that those feelings are shameful or unacceptable. Rather than denying or ignoring our children’s feelings, we can teach them that we all have a wide range of emotions.

3. Listen to your children’s feelings.

Do you remember the last time someone sat down with you and just listened to you talk about your feelings for as long as you needed to vent, share, and get it all out? That person gave you a gift. Give your child that same gift the next time they are overwhelmed with feelings. Listen to them talk about the things that seem like little things to you now; as they get older, they will share the big things.

4. Teach problem solving.

Emotions are important to acknowledge, experience, and talk through but we do not have to live in them. We can teach our children to work through their feelings by breathing through them and experiencing them. Sometimes feelings can be so intense that we may worry they will never go away. We can sit with our children and reassure them that feelings ebb and flow, and once the intensity of those feelings fades, we can assist them in solving any problems that remain. Often, even at a young age, children can begin to problem solve on their own. We always want to offer them the opportunity to initiate that process as a confidence builder.

5. Play!

We often forget that children, like little ones of all species, learn through playing. Play is also a great way to work through or process emotions. Social interactions and peer conflicts can create big feelings which children do not yet have the skills to handle. Many adults still struggle to cope with their emotions in a productive way so we must remember to maintain realistic expectations of our children. We can role-play using stuffed animals or act out challenging situations, giving our children the words to use and an opportunity to practice how to handle these relationships.

Imagine a world in which we were all raised this way: with respect for our feelings, encouragement to talk about them, support in solving problems, and a playful response to what’s left over. What a gift we can give our children, ourselves and our families. When we help our children develop these invaluable skills, we are giving them tools for life.

This post originally appeared on www.becomingpeaceful.com.

I’m Lisa. I am an MSW, a mother of a six-year-old girl and a Certified Peaceful Parenting Coach. Using my knowledge, professional experience and personal journey as a parent, I coach other parents to develop happier, healthier and more peaceful relationships with their children.

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5 Reasons You Should Have Three Kids

By Heather Dixon

My children are little enigmas.

They’re so ridiculously cute and sweet with their soft, smooth skin, big, bright eyes and gorgeous, baby-like voices.

They’re also demanding, exhausting and sometimes even downright disgusting.

One minute, they’ll stop what they’re doing and look up at me and smile with their tiny little perfect teeth, wrinkling their gorgeous, freckled noses and say “I love you Mommy! You’re the best!” And then the next thing I know they’re yelling“JUICE!!!” at me at the top of their lungs to indicate they’re thirsty before running off to play in the toilet water.

Ah, kids.

So why on earth would you ever want three of them? I have three children age 6 and under and I’ll let you in on a little secret. They’re ridiculously fun. Since having my third kid, I’ve experienced more chaos, noise and exhaustion than ever before – but I’ve also had more love and happiness in my life than I ever thought imaginable.

If you’re on the fence about adding more kids to your clan, here are just 5 reasons why you should have three of them:

1. You’ll really stop sweating the small stuff. The first kid is generally the ‘test child’. You have no idea what you’re doing, but you’ll try it out anyway and then learn from your mistakes. With the second kid, you’re still cautious about your parenting. You’ve likely learned more, but you can still be a touch nervous. By the third child, you practically let them raise themselves. They learn that sometimes they have to wait. Sometimes they can’t have what they want the minute they want it. The tantrums don’t seem to rattle you anymore. And you realize that they’ll be okay if they have a soother until they’re 4 or don’t walk until way later than the neighbour’s kid. You have the knowledge that everything is probably going to turn out okay and as a result, you can relax a whole lot more.

2. You’ll always have someone around to snuggle.  Kids are busy little creatures. And they always seem to be mastering some new skill which means they’re too busy for a good, long snuggle with Mom & Dad. Unless, of course, you have three. There’s always bound to be one kid up for a cuddle. When my 6-year-old is too busy reading or coloring to actually stop and let me snuggle her – I curl up with my 4-year-old on the couch. When my 4-year-old doesn’t want to stop playing, I snuggle the 6-year-old and talk about her day. And on the days when everyone is too busy or too distracted – I can always rely on my 2-year-old to melt into my body for a long, reassuring cuddle before bed.

3. Life will be louder and sillier and chaotic.  But that’s how life should be, shouldn’t it? I want my days to leave me exhausted, but happy. Tired, but overflowing with laughter. And you can absolutely do all that with one or two kids. But when you throw another kid into the mix, life just gets more everything. And I welcome it with open arms.

4. Big(ish) families are fun!  There’s always someone to play with. To share inside jokes with. You’ll always have someone cheering you on. To curl up and watch TV with. I love our loud, rousing dinner conversations during the holidays. Three kids puts us into the category of a bigger family. And it really is a lot of fun.

5. You’ll finally be complete. If you’re even a little unsure about whether you’re done or not, it probably means your family is not yet complete. At least, that was my experience. I thought I was done after two. I was very happy and content. I loved everything about my life. Yet, when my third little baby came into my life, I realized I was waiting for her. And now, our family is whole.

Heather is a writer and Mom to three highly advanced little girls (according to her husband and her). She's also a runner, a reader and a lover of wine and beer (which is why she runs). Follow her at littlehumanseatinghealthy.com, heatherdixon.ca, or on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

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