ML Interest Tag: self-help

Celebrate LA’s Wild Side at the Kid-Friendly Nature Fest Happening This Weekend

by Jenifer Scott

The Natural History Museum is one of our favorite places to tour with the whole family with its amazing dinosaur exhibits, rare gemstones and hall of mammals (just to scratch the surface). So to sweeten the deal and add yet another reason to visit, come check out the LA Nature Fest the weekend of March 14 and 15 where you and your tiny tree huggers can get up close and personal with our natural world in a variety of unique ways. From slime and raptors to crafts and scientists, there are many reasons to make this a must-do event. Keep reading for more highlights of hands-on fun from this festival!

Meet Live Animals

Naturally, a Nature Fest wouldn't be complete without interactive animal encounters. This weekend, the Natural History Museum will have plenty of opportunities for your wildlings to get up close and personal with all sorts o'critters. Hit up the "Rat Chat" in the morning and watch rat handlers feed and train the furry fellas before heading over to the Nature Gardens for live animal presentations. Here animal keepers will bring out a variety of animals ranging from reptiles to opossums (to even owls) and tell stories about how they care for them (there might even be touching allowed depending on the animal!). Lastly, be sure to stop by the Pavilion in the afternoon to watch a real live snake eat a (not-so-alive) snack at the snake feeding demonstrations. 

Talk To Scientists

With many schools gearing up for Science Fairs in the next couple of months or so, now would be a great time for your little lab rats to get some face-to-face time with a real live scientist or nature experts. Luckily, the L.A. Nature Fest will have plenty of both on hand who are excited and ready to answer all questions thrown their way! Bring older kiddos by The Earth in Her Hands panel at 11 a.m. at the Pavillion stage where female botanist experts will tell stories of inspirational women working to protect the world of plants.   

Nature Inspired Arts & Crafts

Celebrate nature through art with a variety of activities scattered throughout the festival that will delight those wee ones who like hands-on crafting.  Keep an eye out for the STEM-based team from Boundless Brilliance who will be on hand helping kids create their own leaf ornaments along with an earth-inspired coloring project. Or from 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. each day naturalists of all ages can make block printed cards with stamp designs representing California native plants with help from the group at Self Help Graphics.

Science of Slime

Exposing your mini experimenters to slime in a controlled environment where they can learn all about the sticky substance and it's not all over your house? Yes please! Here at the L.A. Nature Fest, the fine folks at Nickelodeon (along with Natural History Museum scientists) will be presenting the scientific side of slime and all of its ooey gooey wonders. And as if that weren't enough (cuz' we know how crazy kids go for this stuff), Nickelodeon will even give everyone a chance to enter their virtual slime booth. Win/win!

Exhibitor Booths & Giveaways

There will be over 35 different exhibitor booths representing local organizations such as The Aquarium of the Pacific, Face Painting, Turtle and Tortoise Society, and Friends of Griffith Park (to name a few). Stop by the Tree People booth for, well, a free tree while supplies last or create a seed ball to take home of California wildflowers for your garden. 

Bird's The Word

For those who have a strong affinity for aviary animals, be sure not to miss the raptor flight demonstrations taking place during L.A. Nature Fest. These apex predators and their handlers will certainly put on quite the show in the Nature Gardens across from the cafe leaving everyone to gaze upon these stunning birds with rapt attention. 

All The Details

When: Sat., Mar. 14 and Sun., Mar. 15; 9:30a.m.-5p.m.
Where: Natural History Museum
900 Exposition Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90007
213-763-3466
Online: nhm.org
Cost: Included with general admission ($14 for adults; $6 for kids ages 3-12)

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What to Do This Weekend with Kids in LA

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Can You Love Yourself into Being a Better Parent?

By Hunter Clarke-Fields

It was a clear fall day and time for a nap for my two-year-old. I crossed my fingers for an easy naptime because I had work to finish. Unfortunately, I had no such luck. She whined relentlessly. She came downstairs and I brought her back up—again and again. She was clearly exhausted and needed a nap. I needed this naptime. My temper rose. Upstairs, she started to throw things and open the door.

Finally, I lost it. I went upstairs, shaking with frustration and feeling helpless. I grabbed her arms to put her on the bed—but I was too rough. Her fear was obvious. I felt her little arms beneath my strong hands and I realized, “This is how parents hurt their children. Oh. My. God.” Letting go, I left the room in tears.

As my tears flowed, my critical mind stepped in: “What’s wrong with me? How could I do that? I’m a horrible mother,” and on and on. My thoughts were harsh and bitter; I was saying things to myself that I would never say to another person. Did it help? No. It left me feeling weak, isolated, and incapable. We managed to get through the afternoon and eventually she curled up on the floor for a nap.

Our Inner Voice Matters

How we talk to ourselves after our mistakes can shape whether we shrink or grow from the experience. What we say to ourselves in the privacy of our own thoughts really matters. Why? To borrow a metaphor from best-selling self-help author Wayne Dyer, “If I have an orange, what will come out when I squeeze it? Juice, of course. But what kind of juice will come out? Not pomegranate or kiwi. Orange juice. And like that orange, when we are squeezed, what’s inside is what will come out.”

What comes out of you when you are squeezed? That inner evil stepmother? If your inner voice is harsh and critical, then, unfortunately, that’s what’s likely to come out with your children too.

Negative self-talk and self-shaming don’t make us more effective or more peaceful parents. In fact, it does the reverse. Shame leaves us feeling trapped, powerless and isolated. When we feel like that, we’re not able to bring a kind and compassionate presence to our children.

Shame Doesn’t Help

Researcher Brené Brown has helped us understand the difference between guilt and shame. Shame is a feeling of badness about the self. Guilt is about behavior—a feeling of ‘conscience’ from having done something wrong or against your values. Her research has shown that guilt can be helpful and adaptive, while shame is destructive and doesn’t help us change our behavior.  As she puts it, “Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.” When you feel like a terrible person, it’s almost impossible to empower yourself to make a change.

Furthermore, if we want our children to have self­-compassion, we must model it. For example, if I have the habit of self-shaming, they will pick that up. Our kids may not be so great at doing what we say, but they are great at doing what we do. This is how harmful generational patterns are passed down.

The good news is that this harmful way of responding to ourselves is optional. We have a choice. We can choose to bring kindness and self-compassion to our suffering instead.

The Self-Compassion Cure

Imagine if, instead of self-shaming, we could offer ourselves the kindness and understanding of a good friend. How might that change things? Research is showing that this approach helps us grow and learn from our own mistakes better than the old paradigm of condemnation. Kristin Neff, researcher, author, and professor at the University of Texas at Austin, has dedicated her life’s work to the study of compassion and self-compassion.

She writes, “These are not just ‘nice’ ideas. There is an ever-increasing body of research that attests to the motivational power of self-compassion. Self-compassionate people set high standards for themselves, but they aren’t as upset when they don’t meet their goals. Instead, research shows that they’re more likely to set new goals for themselves after failure rather than wallowing in feelings of frustration and disappointment. Self-compassionate people are more likely to take responsibility for their past mistakes while acknowledging them with greater emotional equanimity.”

How to Talk to Yourself

Neff breaks self-compassion down into three elements: kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. We can start by practicing self-kindness instead of self-judgment. Instead of being your harshest critic, I want you to practice being your own best friend. In those difficult moments when you’ve not lived up to your standards, practice offering yourself kindness.

The second element of self-compassion is recognizing that we are not the only one who makes mistakes. The truth is that we are all mistake-making humans and imperfect parents. Our imperfections are what make us human. As you know, there are certainly moments when I—a “Mindful Mama Mentor” have made mistakes with my children I regret. It’s time to recognize that none of us is alone in this.

Finally, in order to be compassionate with ourselves, we have to recognize, through mindfulness, that we are suffering. Practice noticing the thoughts that arise and remain objective about them. Once we notice these thoughts, we can choose another way—offering ourselves compassion and kindness when we don’t meet our standards. Mindfulness helps us not get caught up in and swept away by our negative reactions.

Cultivating awareness of your inner voice and practicing self-kindness (dare I say love?) can have a deep and lasting impact on your relationship with your child. We are half of the parent-child relationship. It’s time to take responsibility for what we are bringing to the table. Who you are as a person inside counts quite a lot in terms of who you want your children to be.

Hunter Clarke-Fields
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Hunter Clarke-Fields is a mindfulness mentor, host of the Mindful Mama podcast, creator of the Mindful Parenting membership, and author of Raising Good Humans. She helps parents create more calm and cooperation in their families. Hunter has over twenty years of experience in meditation and has taught mindfulness to thousands worldwide. 

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10 Things I Wish I’d Known about Childhood Anxiety

By Colleen Wildenhaus

Photo: Colleen at Good Bye Anxiety, Hello Joy

As a parent, we often find ourselves thinking of the “what ifs” that could happen.  We mentally prepare for possible events that could occur to our children over the course of their life, even before they are born. But the thought that my child may have mental health issues never crossed my mind. I was completely lost when I began learning how to help a child with anxiety.

By preparing yourself for the reality of dealing with anxiety from day one, you set your child, and your family, up for more success. Here are 10 things I wish I would have known about having a child with anxiety.

1. THINK OF MENTAL ILLNESS AS YOU WOULD ANY OTHER ILLNESS

Mental illness is a REAL illness. Your child is sick, although the level of severity will vary greatly from one child to the next. You would not think twice about cost, distance, missing work, etc if your child was diagnosed with cancer, diabetes, autism, etc. Do not think for one minute that mental health is any less important. Mental health has a “weakness” and “not real” attitude attached to it. People will judge and offer advice when they are not aware of the realness of the situation.  Grow a thick skin and believe in yourself as the parent.

When your child complains of physical symptoms of anxiety-like an upset stomach, headache, or fatigue, they are truly experiencing those feelings. Children who complain about unrealistic thoughts view these thoughts as real. High quality, research-based anxiety treatment will give you and your child the tools to manage and cope with anxiety.

2. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

You should get yourself involved with a counselor as soon as possible to help you handle the life you are now living. I waited way too long for this because I could never justify paying for therapy for myself. I still cannot afford it but my mental health is more important than money (most of the time). Family counseling is also great if you have other children impacted by mental health in the family. Often siblings feel lost and confused with what is happening around them.

You need to find a way to make time for self-care, even when that seems impossible. Scheduling just 10 minutes a day for you gives you the strength and motivation to move forward in caring for your child. Many people add this time of self-care to their schedules along with therapy appointments and after-school activities. This reminds you that you are just as important as your children.

3. HAVE AN OPEN MIND

Do not refuse the idea of medication or therapy without getting educated. Medication can and does offer great relief. On the flip side, do not agree to medication until you do your own research and ask questions. Every child reacts differently to medications, so what works for one child may not work for yours.

Therapy is the most effective treatment option for anxiety. The trick is finding the right type of therapy for your child. Do your research, ask questions, and try a few therapists before making a decision on the right option for your child. Getting help is not a weakness. You are providing what your child needs in order to reduce anxiety.

Think outside the box and be creative when finding ways to treat your child’s anxiety. I have found that self-help books offer a starting point for parenting an anxious child, but seldom fit the needs of my family. Take the knowledge you receive and make it work for you. Do your best not to be embarrassed or compare yourself to others. You must do what works best for your child in treating anxiety.

4. YOUR CAREER MAY SUFFER

Be prepared for your career to suffer. We all know that no parent can do it all or find the right balance. This is especially true for working parents. There are so many appointments and they never happen after work hours. For children who are able to attend school with little difficulty, parents should not be impacted while at work. However, for children with intense anxiety that leads to school refusal, parents will find it very difficult to work.

Getting your anxious child to school each morning can be an intense battle that causes you to be late for work. Additionally, once your child arrives at school, be prepared for the school to reach out to throughout the day because your child’s anxiety is impacting their behaviors. These reasons support the need to find ways to help your child with anxiety early on in the hopes of avoiding these severe reactions to anxiety down the road.

5. TREATMENT IS EXPENSIVE AND DIFFICULT TO FIND

You will go broke unless you are one of the few people who are truly rich, meaning you have thousands of dollars just sitting around. Just like any other medical issue, the cost to see doctors and therapists is outrageous. Treatment programs are often located in hospitals and can last several weeks. In many cases, therapists do not want to deal with insurance, therefore you are left paying out of pocket. From my experience, if you are middle class, there is no monetary help available to cover these costs. Be prepared to deal with the stress of never having enough money.

With that being said, treatment for anxiety is a must if it interferes with daily life. Anxiety spirals quickly, making it essential to get help for your anxious child as soon as possible. Begin searching for a therapist who specializes in child anxiety. If your child is dealing with severe anxiety, reach out to child psychiatrists for more rigorous treatment options such as medication or intense therapy. These professionals have the knowledge and experience of how to help a child with anxiety.

6. GET READY TO FIGHT

Get ready to fight for your child’s rights as they pertain to education. Mental health is a strong reason to get your child on an IEP or a 504 at school. Many schools have the best of intentions in helping kids but are completely lost on how to help kids with mental health disorders. Each kid is so unique in their needs and their needs can change frequently.

Dealing with anxiety at school is a team effort between school staff, parents, therapists, and medical professionals, when necessary. As a parent, you must do your research on the best ways to help a child with anxiety at school. Present these ideas to your child’s school, working together to create a plan with the intention of helping your child manage and cope with anxiety during the school day.

7. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE

Get a network of support around you of people who will not judge or offer advice (unless requested). It can be difficult to spend time with friends and family who do not understand what you are going through. Similarly, it can be heartbreaking to spend time with other parents of children who are not anxious. You find yourself feeling jealous of the ease at which their child enjoys life.

Find other parents who may be dealing with similar issues. It is amazing the relief you will find in seeing that you are not alone and that other families are struggling with similar situations.  Look for support groups in your area. Often these groups meet at local coffee shops or libraries. Also, there are several groups on Facebook dealing with child anxiety. There is mental relief in hearing others talk about situations in which you can relate.

8. PRACTICE GRATITUDE

When life feels like it is spiraling out of control and you have moments of hopelessness, take a few minutes to find something to be grateful for. There were times I honestly thought I had nothing positive in my life but being mindful of small moments helped me notice that small moments of happiness were still around me.

Every child suffering from anxiety has many great qualities, although often hidden by anxiety. Find these qualities and do all that you can to pull them out whenever possible. Celebrate small moments, minor successes, and the incredible effort it takes to overcome anxiety.

9. FIND THE RIGHT THERAPIST FOR YOUR FAMILY

You must find a therapist that you and your child connect with. It takes trial and error, time, and money but in order to see progress, you must feel comfortable opening up to this person and believe in what they say. Each therapist has an area of specialization, such as divorce, trauma, eating disorders, phobias, GAD; find the one that is right for your child.

Different approaches and treatments are also available depending on the therapists. Options are play therapy, family counseling, Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Exposure Response Training (ERT), and many more.

10. SHARE YOUR STORY

Being open and honest with the world about your family’s story helps educate others about how to help a child with anxiety. It puts a face to daily challenges brought on by anxiety. Never be embarrassed to speak up and reach out. Together we can help end the stigma that anxiety is poor behavior, a weakness, or something to be ashamed of.

This post originally appeared on Good Bye Anxiety, Hello Joy.
Colleen Wildenhaus
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

I am Colleen, a mother, teacher, and the founder of Good Bye Anxiety, Hello Joy, a site dedicated to parents and teachers supporting a child with anxiety.  In addition to advocating for child anxiety, I love the beach, fresh cookies, children's laughter, and new school supplies!

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Here’s Why Parenting Looks So Much Harder Than It Really Is (Sometimes)

By Gemma Minda Iso

I always have this “bursting” feeling in my ears whenever I listen to parents talking about how difficult their lives are because of their children or how miserable their teenage kids have made them. I am not saying of course that parenting does not have its share of challenges. Being a parent myself, I know that there are so many thuds and thumps along the way. But saying that it’s tough enough to make any parent’s life despicable is definitely far from the truth.

Actually, there is one reason why parents find it so difficult to be the parent that they should be—people’s expectations and what other people might think of them.

There Is No Parenting Formula

Today, each one of us has our own definition of what a parent should be; each one of us has our own set of rules on what we should enforce on our children; each one has a different way of looking at her children.

To add to the confusion are the thousands of self-help books that abound in libraries, in book stores and on the internet telling people what to do with their teenage kids or how to deal with their children. Thus, parents are drawn in on diverse (and sometimes conflicting) ideas on what parenting formula to follow just so they can achieve an iota of peace and harmony in the home.

That is where the real problem comes in because many parents think there is a formula. There isn’t. A mother will have to deal with her son or daughter based on the kind of personality the son or daughter has. The strategies to be carried out must be grounded on the type of temperament the child has, must be based on the child’s inclinations, perceptions, mindsets, attitude and everything else that the child inherently has within him or her.

When dealing with a child or a young adult, we need to follow our instincts. We parents should not listen too much to what other parents are saying to us on what to do with our children or be worried on what other parents will think of our actions and decisions on the way we are handling the issues of our children.

We need to remember always that our children are a lot different from the children of other people, simply because they are unique individuals. Thus, the strategies that have to be implemented should not be the same as what the neighbor parent is doing to her child.

Likewise, what other parents are thinking about us should not make us anxious. They are “outsiders” hence they don’t know what goes on inside the four walls of our domicile so they have no right to make presumptions, conclusions and judgments about us on the way we carry out our responsibilities as parents.

Parenting Is Not an Exact Science

It isn’t math where there is a formula or an equation to be followed in order to arrive at the correct solution/answer. To become a good parent, one needs to work every day with different angles, always ready to traverse diverse slopes, always prepared to see various gradients and work around those numerous perspectives.

While all these maneuvers require from a parent extraordinary emotional maturity and intellectual mellowness, it only demands one trait for a parent to be successful and effective: unconditional love.

This post originally appeared on Gemma Minda Iso/HubPages.

I am one imperfect single mom who never misses a terribly perfect moment with my children. The bummer spells and god-awful times we had were the best moments for me and for them because those were the times that we learn who we are and how much we love each other.

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That First Day of School Is Full of Big Feelings for You & Your Kid

By April Sutphen

Entering public school is an exciting time for your child. They get to ride the school bus, make new friends and engage in countless educational activities. If you’ve never had a child enter Kindergarten you may not know what to expect. Both you and your child will go through a wide range of emotions on the first day of school. Read on so you feel prepared for this monumental moment.

What You Might Be Feeling:

Sadness

That’s right, don’t be surprised if you’re that mom standing beside the bus, slowly waving to your child with tissues in hand and tears flowing. If you can help it, try to hold back your tears until after your child is out of sight. This is supposed to be an exciting day for them. Seeing you sad might cause your child unnecessary worry or stress. They’ll wonder why mommy is crying on such a happy day. But crying as you send your child off to school for the first time is perfectly natural.

You’re likely accustomed to being with your child for most of the day. You have been the staple in their life since birth and now, it’s time to start letting go. This can cause feelings of sadness and even grief. You may feel like you’re losing a small part of yourself. But don’t worry. Your child will be equally as excited to bound off the bus and run into your arms as you’ll be to greet them.

You will always be their constant source of love and support. Entering school won’t change this. Your tears of sadness may also be associated with the sense of letting go. Your baby is no longer a baby. They are growing into a capable and independent person. Though this is our ultimate goal as mothers, it doesn’t make the reality any easier.

Worry

Your child will be in the care of his/her teacher and other school employees for hours at a time. This may be something you’re not used to. It’s completely normal to worry about if your child is safe, happy, and well taken care of when they’re not with you. No one will care for your child the same way you do because you’re their mother. But teachers and other school officials are trained to nurture your child and keep them safe.

If they need to contact you, they will. Whether it’s your child’s teacher, the guidance counselor, or another staff member, everyone’s top priority is your child’s safety and happiness. You need to trust the school system and their ability to care for your child.

Pride

Your tears on the first day of school will likely be a combination of sadness at realizing your child is growing up mixed with pride over this same fact. As mothers, our primary responsibility is to nurture our children and teach them the ways of the world. Our jobs are complex, to say the least. It’s our job to make sure our children feel safe and nurtured but we must also foster their independence, self-worth, and accountability.

We’ve all had those days where we wonder if we’re doing things right. Are our children really listening to us? Will they remember all of these life lessons we’re teaching them? Will they remember their manners? The first day of school is the time when all of these things come into perspective. Your child will surprise you with their independence, confidence, and ability to succeed outside of your home.

At this moment you’ll realize that all your hard work paid off. They really do listen! And you’ll feel an overwhelming sense of pride over the accomplishments of both you and your not-so-little one.

What Your Child Might Be Feeling: 

Excitement

Most children love experiencing new things. Their excitement will likely start with riding the school bus. They’ll be excited to see their classroom, meet their teacher and make new friends. Kindergarten rooms offer so many activities and ways for your child to interact, discover and learn.

Prior to the first day, your child will likely have the opportunity to visit the school as part of an orientation day. This will familiarize them with the building, the location of their classroom and they may even get to meet their teacher. Seeing their desk and all their school supplies will also make them feel right at home in the classroom. Encourage their excitement. It will help create a smooth first day for you both.

Apprehension

New and unknown experiences can be exciting for children but they can also be somewhat stressful for others. And everyone deals with stress differently. Don’t be surprised if your child is equal parts nervous and excited on the first day. If they’ve never been in childcare before they’re likely not used to being away from you for so long.

You might need to pep talk your child before putting them on the bus. Remind them of all the fun things they’re going to do and the friends they’ll meet. Focus on the positive and reassure your child that you’ll be waiting for them as soon as their school day is done. Match their excitement with your own by saying things like, “I can’t wait to hear all about your day later” or remind them of fun toys and projects they learned about during orientation.

It’s completely normal for your child to feel nervous on the first day of school. And don’t be surprised if those nerves last long after the first day. Once your child becomes comfortable with the new school routine, their classroom, and expectations, their nerves should subside.

Overwhelmed

Though your child will most likely be extremely excited to share the details of their first day, don’t be surprised if they feel a little overwhelmed. Keep in mind that this is the first major life experience your child is having. They’ve lived in the bubble of your home life, mixed with potential daycare, play dates, and vacations. But as far as being on their own and exploring their independence, school is a completely new experience for them.

Not only that, but school days can be pretty long. Ranging from seven to eight hours, depending on the grade. Your child will need to get up at a certain time in order to have breakfast, get dressed, and make it to school on time. All of these small responsibilities add up. They’ll also have homework and other tasks to complete both at home and in the classroom. Although these things are helping strengthen your child’s self-help skills that doesn’t mean it won’t be overwhelming at first.

Try helping your child break down their day by time. Ask them the order of their day. Is seat work first? What happens right after lunch? This will help them to mentally understand when their school day is half over or it’s just begun. Children have an internal curiosity. The more information they have about their day, the better they will manage all of these new experiences and responsibilities.

Embrace the New Experience—Together

Entering school is a monumental time in your child’s life but it’s also a big change for you, mom. Be prepared to experience a wide range of emotions from pride and excitement to worry and sadness. This is normal, as are all the feelings your child will go through. But in the end, school is where your child will begin to discover who they are and who they’re meant to be. And that’s a pretty exciting concept.

I am a 32 year old mother of a son and wife to an officer. I am honest about both the love and struggle of parenting. I enjoy being active and writing is my passion, second only to my family.

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10 Productive Things to Do While Nursing (Instead of Surfing Your Phone)

By Kelsey Schagemann

Let’s face it: there’s a lot you can’t do when you’re nursing. Taking a shower, cooking a meal or cleaning the bathroom are pretty much impossible. But there are still ways to be productive while feeding your little one. Here are 10 ways to multi-task during your next bottle or breastfeeding session.

Photo Fun

If you’re anything like me, the camera roll on your phone is basically an endlessly scrolling montage of your child’s adorable face. Are you backing up those photos? Just think how upset you’d be to lose that image of junior’s first smile, tooth or haircut. An app like Google Photos allows you to save your pictures online so they’ll still be accessible if something happens to your phone. You can also create and share albums in the app—yes, you can do this one-handed while you nurse!

Making a List, Checking It Twice

Maybe it’s not glamorous, but I find that breastfeeding is the perfect time to make a grocery or Target list. I use the Notes section on my phone to type out what I need (diapers, inevitably). Plus, I can just copy, paste and email the list to my husband if he’s on errand duty.

Tune In

There are days when I desperately need to hear another adult voice. Enter the podcast. In a matter of seconds, I’m launched out of my messy living room and into the (equally messy) world of politics … or I immerse myself in culture, comedy, self-help advice or more. Plus, the number of podcasts about raising kids continues to grow. Get started by downloading “The Longest Shortest Time,” “Coffee + Crumbs” and “The Shameless Mom Academy.”

Best Sellers

Put down the phone and pick up a book… or a magazine, newspaper or Kindle! Nursing is a great time to relax with a good read. Before my daughter was born, I felt guilty when books took me away from washing dirty dishes, paying bills, prepping meals or all the other tasks on my never-ending to-do list. But now I tuck into the latest bestseller guilt-free as my hungry newborn eats. Paperbacks, I’ve found, are supremely easy to hold in one hand.

Sweat Sesh

People work out on airplanes, so why not while nursing? Try a few simple exercises to get the blood moving. I recommend ankle, neck and shoulder rolls, followed by a gentle twist to each side. Then go for a figure four: Bend one leg so the ankle rests on the knee of your opposite leg and lean over to stretch your glutes. If you’re feeling extra ambitious, hold tight to your baby as you stand and squat 10 times. Finish it all off with your Kegels.

Nom Nom Nom

I had no idea that breastfeeding would make me so dang thirsty. I keep a water bottle on each side of my glider to encourage constant hydration. Whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle feeding, follow your child’s example and use that time to eat and drink. Who knows when you’ll get another chance to chow down, what with changing diapers, overseeing tummy time and so on. Keep a stash of granola bars or nuts in reach, put a spoon in an open yogurt container in the fridge, grab a string cheese on your way to nurse and make sure you keep your water bottles filled.

Dear Diary

Those first few months of your baby’s life are such a magical time, but figuring out how to care for this new person is often exhausting. Your reserves are tapped. You’re not sleeping. And yet, when you look back on this period in the future, you may wonder how time went so fast. Preserve these special days by making a video or audio diary. It’s as simple as using a voice memo app on your phone. As your baby eats, record a few thoughts about him or her, what you’ve been thinking and feeling, or anything else that comes to mind.

Clear the Clutter

You might be metaphorically chained to your chair when nursing, which makes it difficult to do any “actual” cleaning. However, this limitation doesn’t extend to your cellphone. When was the last time you took a cold, hard look at your contacts and apps? You probably don’t need the phone number of your friend’s cousin whom you met years ago or the contact information for the shuttered takeout place down the street. As for apps, be ruthless about which ones you actually use and delete the rest. One bonus from this clutter-clearing exercise? More storage space for photos of your darling kiddo.

Reach Out

Now that you’ve culled your contacts, it makes sense to reach out to some of the folks who made the cut. Pick up the phone and give them a ring. Get ready to share stories of your little one’s latest exploits, and don’t forget to ask what’s happening in their lives, too!

Blissful Adoration

Okay, so maybe gazing wonderingly at your baby while you feed him or her might not always feel productive. But there’s also nothing wrong with redefining the meaning of “productive,” especially when you have a newborn. You’re keeping this tiny human alive with milk or formula—what’s more productive than that? So take a moment or two (or 10) to bask in this single and singular task before tackling the other items on this list.

Featured Photo Courtesy: Keiko Zoll

I'm a Chicago-based writer and editor, mom and fitness enthusiast with a weakness for chai lattes and baked goods. You can find my articles in Midwest Living magazine, various university publications, and online at aSweatLife.com, Refinery29, A Practical Wedding and elsewhere. 

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5 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Became a First-Time Mom

By April Sutphen

They say hindsight is 20/20. There are so many things I wish I knew as a first-time mother—so many things I would have done differently or wished someone had told me before I entered that hospital on a cold Thursday morning in December to give birth to my son via c-section. So, I’m here to share five things I wish I had known before having my son that I think new and expecting mothers could really benefit from.

1. Sleep When Your Baby Sleeps

Now, I’d be lying if I said people didn’t give me this piece of advice while pregnant – they did, on multiple occasions. I just didn’t listen. If I could turn back time, I may have napped while my son slept but more importantly, I would have done anything at all!

What I mean is that when my son was an infant the only thing I did while he napped during the day, was sit around waiting for him to wake up. I sat beside his swing, or bassinet, or bouncy chair and watched. I twitched every time he twitched. My mouth opened in anticipation each time he yawned or smacked his tiny lips together.

He used to sleep for five hours at a clip—five hours! What I could do with five hours?! I could have worked out, showered, made dinner and even taken a nap. But instead, I washed my hair as if I was training for the military and didn’t so much as leave the room when he was resting. So, my advice to new moms is to take full advantage of every moment your infant sleeps. Whether that means napping, meal prepping, scrapbooking, exercising or showering. Whatever you can accomplish during those hours of sleep—do it!

2. Your Baby Can Sleep Through Anything

Yes, I was that crazy mom who shushed everyone at the door, never vacuumed while my infant was present and considered visitors as nuisances instead of a welcomed pair of helping hands.

I recall one specific time that we had company over. My son was probably about 4 months old. Our house is a small raised ranch. There’s not much insulation in the walls or floors and a house full of 12 rowdy adults having fun is less than quiet. In hindsight (there’s that hindsight thing again), I should have sent him to my mother’s to sleep, but I didn’t. As night grew near and I knew it was his bedtime, I started feeling anxious. There was no way he could possibly sleep through this commotion.

But sure enough, a nice warm bottle, cozy crib and soft music playing were all my baby needed to drift off to dreamland. While the adults enjoyed themselves just two rooms away.

3. Let Professionals Handle Certain Things

Whether it’s building a crib, painting the nursery r fighting to install your child’s car seat, sometimes it’s best to leave certain things to the professionals.

I wish someone had told me that your local police department might have an officer certified in car seat installation safety. If this isn’t the case, you can call 1-866-SEATCHECK to find a location near you that offers car seat installation and inspection. There’s no need to fight, curse, and wrestle with your child’s car seat and base. Yes, we’ve all been there.

If you’ve never put furniture together yourself, ask for help when it comes to crib construction. My husband is a prime example of someone losing their patience over missing screws, mismarked pieces, and confusing directions. If you have a family member or friend who loves constructing things, ask them to lend a hand.

I would also suggest starting to decorate and construct your nursery during your second trimester. The first trimester is accompanied by extreme exhaustion and morning sickness. Not to mention, if you want to know the sex of your baby, you won’t know this early on in your pregnancy. The second trimester leaves you feeling more prepared and knowledgeable about your vision for the nursery. Try not to wait until the last trimester if at all possible. Your belly will be growing quite a bit now, which could make moving around difficult. Plus, you want to ensure everything is ready for your new addition. You don’t want to be rushing or worried about incomplete projects.

4. Foster Independence

Every mother has an internal urge to help their child. No one wants to see their offspring struggle, feel helpless, or get frustrated. I am 100 percent guilty of doing way too much for my son. In my attempts to help him, I now realize I was hurting him. I was depriving him of a sense of accomplishment, pride, and independence. I wasn’t allowing him to develop problem-solving or self-help skills.

If I could go back in time, I would continue to be supportive, encouraging and helpful. But I would stop myself from doing things for my son and instead, help him discover ways to achieve things on his own. I am too quick to tie his shoes for him, zip his coat and brush his teeth. I help him clean his messes and spin his spaghetti onto his fork at the dinner table. And I’m not saying that as a mom, we should never help our child—that’s probably an impossible task. But, I do highly recommend fostering your child’s independence by giving them the tools to solve problems and not by solving their problems for them. Without making mistakes, they’ll never learn. And without a small struggle, they’ll never feel the confidence every child needs to succeed in life.

5. Establish a Sleep Routine from the Start

My son was an incredibly good baby. He slept 4 hours at a clip by 6 weeks old and was soon sleeping eight solid hours. When he drifted off to sleep at 6:30 p.m. it was surreal. I had the entire night ahead to achieve all the things I hadn’t gotten too during the day (or while he was napping).

I used to rock my son to sleep with a bottle and place him in his crib, half awake, to stare and wonder at his illuminating mobile. He soothed himself to sleep by sucking his thumb. There were a few nights where he cried and I had to lock myself in the bathroom so I wouldn’t go in there, scoop him up, and sing him to sleep. He figured it out.

All was right with the world until the day my husband changed our 2-year-old son’s crib into a full-size bed while I was at work. I feared that my son wouldn’t fall asleep on his own in this giant bed—he looked so tiny. I allowed my fear to rule my behavior. I sat beside him on the edge of his bed until he fell asleep each night. He felt secure and safe. What I didn’t realize was that I had projected my fears onto him. Here we are, five years later, and my son still needs me to sit beside him each night until he falls asleep.

I wish I had never broken his habit of self-soothing at bedtime. I wish I had allowed him to feel safe and secure in his room without me. So, if you can help your child to create a healthy sleep routine from a young age, I encourage you to do so. Because now, for me, this is my greatest hurdle.

Listen to Your Heart

One thing I can guarantee about advice for new moms is that you’ll get a lot of it and none of it will be the same. Take from it what you want and can practically apply to your life. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t agree with every piece of advice people share with you. Every mother is different. Every baby is different. Listen to your heart—it won’t steer you wrong.

 

Featured Photo Courtesy: StockSnap/Pixabay

I am a 32 year old mother of a son and wife to an officer. I am honest about both the love and struggle of parenting. I enjoy being active and writing is my passion, second only to my family.

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Take the Ride of Your Life on the Gold Line

by LeTania Kirkland Smith

We all know LA is notorious for our car culture, but there are amazing alternatives. Riding the city’s metro lines with your kids gives you a chance to sit back and enjoy the ride, people watch and get to know our city. The Gold Line offers a tour of the diversity LA has to offer: from food, art, culture and playgrounds— this ride from East LA to Pasadena is a great adventure in and of itself.

photo credit: LeTania Kirkland

The Gold Line runs from East L.A. to Pasadena with stops downtown including Little Tokyo, Union Station and Chinatown, each of which are worth a day trip all their own. For this adventure we suggest you skip downtown and enjoy the other stops that are unique to this line.

photo credit: LeTania Kirkland

Mariachis, Food & Books at Mariachi Plaza
If you’ve never been to Boyle Heights, this should be your first stop. Exit the train station and you and the kiddos will step right into the charm of this historic LA neighborhood. Walls in the plaza are painted with colorful murals and, yes, you will see Mariachi musicians in the plaza. Don’t expect a concert upon your arrival, the musician are there for hire, but there are impromptu sessions in addition to the annual Mariachi Festival. There is also a community farmers market every Friday & Sunday afternoon.

In the plaza is also Libros Schmibros, a lending library in the heart of the community. For $5, your family gets a membership to borrow three books every three weeks. Plus, you get to keep your first book as your own (your little readers might have a hard time deciding).

Mariachi Plaza also has tons of great and unique food. In the plaza is J & F Ice Cream shop where you can get ice cream and raspados along side a variety of tortas and fresh juices.  Walk along 1st Street and you’ll find Un Solo Sol Kitchen where you can have a casual Mexican lunch with the kids. Primera Taza (also on 1st St.) is another casual spot for coffee, sandwiches, salads and pastries. But if you want to get a touch fancier (and you’re willing to brave it with the kids) try La Serenata for classic Mexican food and Mariachi music that will blow the whole family away.

photo credit: Self Help Graphics and Art Facebook Page

Art and Pizza at Pico/Aliso
Pico/Aliso station is just outside of downtown. One of the crown jewels of the neighborhood is the Self Help Graphics and Art Center, a community resource founded in 1970 during the Chicano movement. The center provides arts training to young and upcoming  artists and hosts an array of cultural, musical and art events throughout the year. If your little ones love Dia De Los Muertos, this is the place to be in November.

After you’ve had your fill of culture, you can head over to Purgatory Pizza. Who can resist a pie named “Limbo” or “Dante’s Revenge”? And if the family can’t agree on toppings that day, you can eat by the slice (vegan options included).

photo credit: LeTania Kirkland

LA History at Heritage Square
If you have a history buff in the family, the Heritage Square stop is a must. This little village is a collection of Victorian structures, saved from demolition and preserved to educate visitors about Los Angeles life in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. A docent (wearing proper period attire) leads visitors through each building and provides a good deal of history about each home, their owners and life during the era.  Make sure your littles know they can’t touch (not even a dividing rope) as the docents can be a bit sensitive. Check the museum’s website for events like Silent Movie Nights and Magic Shows.

Museum hours are Friday-Sunday 11:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. and hourly tours begin at noon.

photo credit: LeTania Kirkland

The Southwest Museum is An LA Treasure
You’ve likely spotted the palatial Southwest Museum from your car on the 110 freeway and wondered what it is. Now is your chance to find out. The museum is affiliated with the Autry National Center of the West and contains a wealth of American Indian arts and artifacts as well as pre-Hispanic, Latino and Southwest artifacts and collections. Plus, the native plant gardens and amazing view atop Museum Dr. make the trip even more worthwhile. You and the crew will gain a new appreciation for the beauty of the Arroyo Seco.

Good to know: The museum is only open Saturdays from 10 a.m.- 4 p.m.

Afterwards, you can cross back through the train station and walk down the east stairs to Figueroa St. where you’ll find Sycamore Grove Park, a large park with two playgrounds, picnic tables, community exercise equipment and a mini amphitheater.

photo credit: LeTania Kirkland

Cheat Seats, Cool Cafes and People Watching at Highland Park
If you are old enough to remember the days of reasonable matinee prices, you’ll be happy to hear about Highland Theatres located on Figueroa St., just south of the station. No fancy seat selection or foods, but there are two screens and any showtime before 6 p.m. is $6. Plus, on Family Tuesdays and Wednesdays, shows are $5 all day.

After the movie, walk across the street to Antigua Bread where you can choose from Central American breakfast and lunch items like the Antigua Breakfast of eggs, queso fresco, black beans and plantains or get a snack of pastries and espresso. All this while looking out at the bustle of Figueroa St. for some perfect people watching. Just around the corner on Ave. 56 is Good Girl Dinette specializing in Vietnamese food with flair.

photo credit: LeTania Kirkland

The Mission/South Pasadena Stop is for Food and Parks
The South Pasadena stop is a little village all to itself. Exit the station and  stand underneath the sculpture of the walking man that should inspire some silliness in the kids. There are two playground options. Orange Grove Park is a mere 5 minute walk west along Mission St. There is a play structure, a basketball court and a baseball field. If you’re up for a longer walk, head east to Garfield Park, a larger space with lots of grass, play structure, ample shade and picnic tables.

Once you’ve played and worked up an appetite, head back towards the station. Buster’s (on Mission St. across from the station)  is a casual option for sandwiches, salads, coffee and, of course, Fosselman’s ice cream. La Monarca Bakery is the spot if you’re craving tortas and pan dulce, made incredibly fresh and just right. Just next door is Mix n Munch, which  specializes in those all-time kid staples: cereal and mac & cheese.

photo credit: LeTania Kirkland

Memorial Park is Your Art Stop
Exit the station turn right and make a quick hair pin loop and you will see the playground and amphitheater. There is lots of shade for a picnic adjacent to the play area that includes a play train and water table in addition to a more traditional play structure.

After the park, you might head over to the Armory Center (walk west on Holly St and turn right on Raymond Ave.) where everyone can soak in some art. The center also offers classes and summer camps for kids, so get some info. If it’s more art you crave, the Norton Simon Museum is a 5 minute walk away. Peruse the sculpture garden where the kids can get up close and personal with the works of Auguste Rodin. The museum has rotating exhibitions in addition to its extensive permanent collection and family art making activities on some weekends.

The USC Pacific Asia Museum is also tucked away on Los Robles Ave., east of the station. The ornate building is worth a peek  and the kid will love the dragon mural on the exterior wall. Step inside and bask in classic and contemporary Asian art.

Colorado Blvd. offers a whole host food from burgers and pizza to Pie Hole for a local treat.  Up the street is Vroman’s Bookstore (the largest and oldest indie book shop in Southern California), with one of the best children’s sections in town.  They also host amazing author meet and greets and story times.

photo credit: LeTania Kirkland

Tips for Riding the Rails
If you think you are going to ride the metro or the bus again in the future, it makes sense to buy a TAP card for a $1 and add fare as needed. Plus the TAP card can be used for discounts at museums and other establishments in the city.  These can be purchased at any automated kiosk outside of every station. One way trips are $1.75 and include free transfers for up to 2 hours to complete a one way trip.

Make sure to TAP! Look for the silver pedestals with a white circle labeled TAP and do just that. (Put the kids in charge of this; they love it!) The screen will tell you if your card was read and how much fare you have left.

There is ample room for strollers on the metro. Look for the signs that indicate strollers, wheelchairs and bikes. There will be a section without seats to tuck away your wheels.

Where did your Gold Line adventure take you?  We’d love to know your favorite Metro stops!

—LeTania Kirkland

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French vs. American Parents: Game On!

by allison ellis

First there was Ms. Amy Chua, railing against the virtues of “Western parenting,” in her self-aggrandizing book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and last year’s Wall Street Journal article, “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior.” Now, it seems, the “Western parents” are now battling it out amongst each other in this latest WSJ firestorm, “Why French Parents are Superior,” an excerpt of Pamela Druckerman’s Bringing up Bébé. Pamela, Pamela, Pamela. My goodness. Weren’t those Mommy Wars from a few years back bad enough? Haven’t we evolved as a culture so that we no longer feel the need to engage in such useless and petty conversations? Or does the Wall Street Journal just know how to beat a not-that-interesting debate into the ground? Heck, they couldn’t even come up with an original title. My mom always taught me not to recycle headlines, but ah well.

So hey, in keeping with Wall Street Journal’s theme of keeping the battle of the parenting styles alive and well lit, I’d like to share an excerpt from my soon-to-be-written tell-all memoir. It’s called American Mother: Out There and Uncensored.

Top 10 Reasons Why U.S. Parents are Superior:

1. We’re seen AND heard. Oh sure, black and gray are nice colors and all and a beret could serve as a semi useful head covering – but only if you don’t mind looking like a complete dork. Mark Twain was totally right when he wrote The Innocents Abroad and little has changed in the hundred-plus years since. Americans are still flashy and a bit messy. Our clothes are bright and garish. And what’s the problem there? C’est bon! How else can you expect your kids to get ahead in the world if they don’t stand out and express themselves? Grab your little ones and repeat after me: We’re loud and we’re proud! I’m sorry, what did you say? I CAN’T HEAR YOU! Louder, s’il vous plait. WE ARE LOUD AND PROUD! Much better. Oh, and P.S.: Did you know that neon is back in for Spring 2012? My daughter just got a supercute orange purse at Tar-zhay that blinds me whenever I walk into her room. J’adore!

2. Our kids are #1. Who represents the next generation? Me? You? That old guy down the street? Please. When everything goes to helle, who are you going to turn to? That’s right, children are our future and they deserve our sincere round-the-clock attention. Here’s how I do it. Say, for example, my child wants a snack. “Bien sûr!” I say, “go help yourself to some local, sustainably-produced sliced organic apples in your special drawer in the fridge.” I’m teaching them independence. Ditto for media. My kids have about 500+ 24-hour kid-friendly educational channels and DVDs to choose from. And they know how to operate our complicated system with multiple remotes and set top boxes and all the rest. Don’t tell me this isn’t part of a technology-based education. The French simply cannot compete. Did I mention that I also download educational apps on my iPhone? My kids are really good at this too. They’ve cracked my password and figured out how to make major online purchases all without my involvement. See, more independence. Because my children don’t attend government subsidized child care programs from 8:30 am to 4:00 pm every day and I don’t have a full-time nanny like most middle class French mothers, I’ve taught them well. All on my own. See what a good job I’m doing?

3. Our food is better. Have you ever been to a European grocery store? There’s weird stuff on the shelves and the layout doesn’t make any sense. Half the time, if you get there after 3:00 pm, the bread is gone. What gives? Also, our favorite brands, the all-American wholesome brands that are so engrained in our daily lives (and in-grained, yes, that too), either aren’t there or have been renamed or repackaged. Did you know you can’t even get plain Cheerios in Paris? It’s true. Basically, U.S. grocery chains rock. You’ve got high-end and lower-end, specialty groceries, and gluten-free galore. And then we’ve got that whole farmer’s market thing which I just love. Fresh squeezed beet juice, hello! I’m not saying that there aren’t equivalents in France or anywhere else in Europe, I’m just saying that our way is better. Fine, they have better cheese. But for everything else – I’ve got two words for you high and mighty Euro mamas: Trader Joe’s.

4. We like anything expensive and expletive. OMFG, really? Yes, really. Do you know how many swear words my kids know? All. Of. Them. Why? Because they heard them on U.S. network primetime television. And maybe a few cable shows owned by corporate America. It’s called vocabulary building and being prepared for the 21st century – or the 22nd century, or what century are we in again? Anyway, it’s cultural awareness. And as for expensive, let me tell you. Both of my kids asked for their own iPads this year for Christmas. As well as computers. And new Wii games. And a new car. And a new house. We’re working on it. Because, like I said, my kids are #1 and they deserve the very best.

5. We’re buzzing with activity. Sit still in a chair? Au contraire! The whole sitting in the café thing with well-behaved children is so over-rated. We’ve got places to go! Things to do! The drive-thru Starbucks concept, perhaps the best modern parenting solution in recent history, is très American. Druckerman claims the French way is better because the parenting style forces the kids to adopt to the adult way of life and not the other way around. Seriously, where’s the fun in that? Let kids be kids! It takes forever for them to grow up anyway, so we might as well focus on savoring every single bit. Ms. Druckerman also spends a lot of time rehashing that old study from the 1960s, the marshmallow effect, claiming that teaching kids the virtues of delayed gratification can do wonders for stress and anxiety later in life. Pardonnez-moi, but marshmallows are gross! Of course my kids can wait more than 15 minutes before they take a bite of one nasty marshmallow. They can wait their entire lives! Ugh, so disgusting. Speaking of… you know what else is nasty? Nutella. And snails. And paté. And foie gras. Blech. Don’t get any of that stuff near my family, ever.

6. We’re enlightened. Pop quiz: who has a bigger parenting self-help section in the warehouse style McBookstore. Oh, I’m sorry, France, you don’t have any McBookstores? Quel dommage! Our authors are churning out so much expert advice, the parenting experts are now building entire platforms writing about being an expert on other parenting experts. Which means that we’re smarter than everyone else, so there. Also, we have parenting reality shows that show off how creative and diverse and free-thinking we all are. Would a French mother ever write about how superior her parenting is? No, because it’s boring, and so are her kids. And yet… an American woman living in Paris? Oh la la, Bringing up de Bébé gets a blurb in the Wall Street Journal and a spot on the Today Show. As a final note, I would like to remind you that this little diatribe you are reading now is a…parenting book excerpt! Give me a few minutes and I’ll get it up on Amazon.com. $0.99 and it’s yours.

7.  Our manners make way more sense. Now, I’m all for “please” and “thank you” and making sure the kids are fully engaged with a Disney movie before I sit down to down a bottle of wine and some imported cheese with a fellow mom friend, but honestly, if they politely wait for a break in the conversation, it’ll be hours before someone comes to wipe a bottom or provide another round of juice boxes. Just state your needs! My kids are great at this. I’ve taught them to ask for what they want, when they want it. Loud and clear! They are so skilled in this area. Oh, it just brings a twinkle to my eye every time we’re at the grocery store and people four aisles down know that I’ve just put two cartons of ice cream in my cart thanks to the loudspeaker-style voices emanating from my savvy little personal shoppers. How else would I have known we needed ice cream just that instant? American children are clairvoyant. No matter where we go, everyone smiles at me and gives me that look that says: your kids are so adorable! Everyone.

8. We think “non” is complete nonsense. Confession time: I was spanked as a child. Often. Both of my parents also did that whole “stern look,” thing and gave that “we’re really disappointed in you,” speech that got so tiresome over the years. Both of them lived in France for several years and met in Paris, so you gotta wonder. And just look at me now: all that discipline resulted in beaucoup de success! (Author’s note: if you even think about forwarding this to my mother or having a private spiritual conversation with my dead father, I will give you the silent treatment and “the look” for all eternity. Don’t test me! I mean it! That means YOU cousin Jennie… and Linda too! So STOP IT RIGHT NOW). See how silly this is? If you say yes to your kids all the time like I do, you can avoid unnecessary parent/child conflict and resentment issues that can last into adulthood. Just go oui, oui, oui all the way home.

9. We know how to snack. Isn’t it just a little too convenient for those French women who never get fat that le petit bébés only get un petit snaque around 4:00 pm each day. That’s because they are in school all day and don’t have access to organic, healthy food in their personal refrigerator compartments at home. Everyone knows that you are supposed to snack all day long. Dr. Oz says so. And I quote: “Snacking helps your metabolism stay well-tuned, keeps you from sabotaging a well-meaning diet and prevents ravenous overeating at mealtimes. It keeps blood sugar level so you aren’t irritable and helps you focused. Kids get much of their nutrition throughout the day from snacks.” He’s European by the way—and skinny—in case you hadn’t noticed.

10. It’s free to be, silly, not free to brie. Here’s my main problem with French-style parenting or any “superior” style parenting for that matter. It’s us vs. them. Good vs. better. It’s: I’m superior… and you, you parent over there? Well, you basically suck. Honestly, there is so much more to life. I am so tired of the whining. I’ll take a toddler tantrum in the middle of a chic Parisian café or a baby who doesn’t sleep through the night or a free-thinking “underachieving” fat American kid any day before I spend even one more minute nitpicking parenting styles and cultures. That whole East vs. West Tiger mom nonsense from last year has merely been narrowed to West vs. farther West. Next thing you know, the WSJ is going to run an excerpt on why California parents are superior to New York parents or why the New Zealand way is better than the Hawaiian way (Author’s note: I would like to research this! Can someone send me on an all-expense paid research trip?). Until then, my fellow parents, let us discuss. Or not.

What camp are you in: “I bleed red, white and blue” or “Heck, I’m moving to France!”?

— Allison Ellis

photo courtesy of tswarek via Flikr

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