ML Interest Tag: shower

Forging a New Path despite the Stereotypes

By Heather Merrick

In the US, the assumption from the day my child was born has felt like I’d either a) surrender years of costly education and hard work to her and my partner OR b) essentially pay a nanny to be a third parent so I can ignore our home life and burn myself out at work. Both are incredibly disempowering.

“But isn’t option A what you want, you Housewife?” No, because I’m not a Housewife.

“But isn’t option B what you want, you Career Woman?” No, because I’m not a Career Woman.

I’m a human being, with accomplishments, goals, dreams, and aspirations. I’m a child of a Head Start pre-K teacher. She and my father both worked hard to afford private elementary school, a choice they felt was best for me at the time. I got into Bard, Bennington, and most of the other fancy “alternative” colleges, but my family couldn’t afford to send me there. So instead I worked my butt off in high school to earn myself a full ride at a public liberal arts college in Florida. When I wanted to pursue grad school to learn more about technology and move out of Florida, I took out a massive student loan that crippled me financially for the next 12 years. I finally paid it off, partly by doubling my salary within five years through grit, determination, and a real need to get out of that hole on my own. (And by my own, it also included a heaping cup of white privilege and marrying a cis white male partner, which in so doing doubled my income yet again.) I do not want to throw all of that away. 

I also do not want to ignore my child in favor of a job at which I am ultimately disposable, like all other “at-will” employees in this country. It is hard to describe how deeply I longed to have a child and hold her in my arms for years and years. The reality of parenthood is much harsher than the rosy image I had of it, sure, but I still cherish every moment and love her to the moon and back. Parenthood is an opportunity to me, not a burden. I’m not outsourcing one of the most joyful aspects of my life that I have planned and yearned for.

“Geez, you sound angry.” Yes, I am angry, as I should be. (Female anger is not something to be feared, by the way. Anger is an emotion like all of the others, and one that all mothers in this country are currently very much entitled to feel.)

Yet again we are dealing with a complete failure of our government to provide even a modicum of financial and emotional support for women. The underlying message? “Your life is not worth more than your output.” As Jill Filipovic wrote about much better than I could, “Free Female Labor is The Plan.”

When I heard about the “glass ceiling” in my 20s, I always imagined it was something that I would slowly rise up to and softly bump into. That has not been my experience. Instead it’s a heavy glass pane that gets slammed into your head, knocking you out, dizzying you. It’s been three years since my daugther was born and I’m still looking around in a daze and unsure of what the hell happened.

So what am I doing about all of this? Well, I started a community called Seattle Parents Club. It’s a free, open, and supportive space for parents of all genders and families of all shapes to join together online and off. We now have more than 60 wonderful members, and I hope you will join us if you live in the Seattle area.

I’m also doing my best to not go for option A or option B, but rather forge my own path away from both, towards Other, Not Pictured Here, etc… I want my daughter to see that the format of her life is not a few decades of achievements and infinite opportunities followed by a sudden narrowing of her choices, none of which fit. That’s not what any child should see when they look at the roadmap ahead of them. Watch this space, I suppose, in terms of what that “Other” really looks like. Again, I’m only human. I’m just figuring it out.

By the way, if this post seems hurried, it’s because it is. I formulated most of this in my head while taking a shower, as my husband rushed out the door to drop off our daughter at daycare. I’m writing and publishing these words in the approximately 15 minutes of free time I have between getting ready and starting work. Is that the ideal way our family’s mornings would be? No, but like I said, I’m still forging the path.

—Heather Merrick

 

This post originally appeared on heathermerrick.com.

Heather Merrick lives in Seattle with her husband, daughter, and a tailless cat. She leads customer support teams for startups by day and manages the Seattle Parents Club by night (or, to be more accurate, very early in the mornings). She loves podcasts, gardening, photography, and toddler crafts.

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Welcome to the Gender No-Reveal Generation

By Elizabeth Brunner

Recently, actress and model Emily Ratjakowski made worldwide headlines when she penned an essay in Vogue about her decision to not know her baby’s gender until after the baby is born. Her decision isn’t unusual. A 2007 Gallup poll of over 1,000 parents found that 51%  wanted to wait until their baby was born to find out the gender. Of course, that poll is from 2007.

While there’s no concrete data from more recently, the endless gender reveal parties, sonogram shots, and color-coded registries can make parents who don’t know feel lonely. The “to know or not to know” question can also bring up feelings for parents who have decided. Is it wrong to decorate the nursery pink for a girl or have a football-themed shower for a boy? The answer to that is no. Ultimately, knowing your child’s gender is just the first choice of what will be many choices in parenting. But being aware of gender—and how you discuss gender—can be done at any stage in your parenting journey. Being gender aware isn’t about looking down on princess movies or bypassing superhero costumes. It’s simply recognizing how gender affects the worldview of you and your child. Here, how to recognize and reframe it.

Understand Your Expectations
When you imagine a future child, you may see images in your head: A tutu-wearing toddler at her first dance class or a little boy kicking the soccer ball with his dad. Those images aren’t shameful or embarrassing—they’re rooted in your desires. Now, go deeper. What else is going on in the image. It might be the little girl falling in love with dance. It may be the little boy having a close relationship with his dad. The more you see the desires behind the picture, the more you can see that these scenarios can play out no matter who your child turns out to be.

Question the Generalizations
Boys love their mama! Girls are so emotionally mature. Whenever you hear a generalization, point it out. A gentle question of “Why is that,” will reframe the conversation toward their experiences—and will help remind anyone listening that a generalization is not based on reality, but more so from a previous experience. It may not change Aunt Frannie from ditching her “Great Aunts Know Best” observations—but it can be a way to redirect the conversation.

Think And. Not No
Sparkles are pretty. Superheroes are fun. Rethinking gender doesn’t mean skipping out on pink and frilly, or the blue and scary. Instead, it means mixing everything together. It means choosing what your child likes, being drawn to the onesies that make your heart sing, and realizing that your child is unique and different just because they are exactly who they are. Take “boys” hand-me-downs if you’re expecting a girl. Buy the truck set for your niece’s third birthday. Mixing and matching can bring out the best in clothes, toys, and your child’s distinctive personality.

Share by Example
So does that mean you should boycott gender reveal parties? Not at all! But you can gently share your perspective by offering gender-neutral cards and gifts, talk up the baby’s future in non-gendered terms, and remind people that there’s a whole rainbow of opportunity in between blue and pink icing.

This post originally appeared on StereoType.

Elizabeth Brunner is a San Francisco-based designer and the founder of StereoType, a gender-free, st‌yle-forward kids clothing brand that’s designed to celebrate individuality and freedom of self-expression by blending traditional ideas of boys’ and girls’ wear. StereoType combines st‌yle, design and comfort to inspire creativity, individuality and freedom of expression.

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My Young Sons Aren’t “Heartbreakers.” Here’s Why

By Elizabeth Brunner

When I realized I was going to be a #boymom, I mentally prepared myself for a lot of things from being completely surrounded by testosterone to having to wipe the toilet down multiple times a day. What I wasn’t prepared for was the influx of outdated and insulting stereotypical phrases directed towards young boys.

From the moment onlookers experienced my five-year-old’s heartwarming hugs or my 2-year-old’s swoon-worthy dimples, I’d be bombarded with “compliments” ranging from “He’s gonna break some hearts” to “That’s an aspiring lady killer” and “He’ll definitely be a ladies man.” And then, we have “Boys don’t cry.” “Boys will be boys.” “Boys are much rougher than girls.” Every time those remarks hit my ear, I’d instantly cringe. I understood there was no malice behind these phrases. They were people making conversation, trying to connect. But what I heard were stereotypes being perpetuated onto my young sons. And these stereotypes had the capacity to do very real damage to their sense of self, their relationships, and even their safety. Let me explain.

I believe children hear and absorb more than we realize. But young children don’t necessarily have the capacity to decipher these supposed “well-meaning” phrases. If they hear them enough and start internalizing them, there’s a chance they become a reflection of those stereotypes. They become boys who grow up to lack respect for another person’s body and personal space, demean another’s display of emotions and not feel the need to be held responsible for it because “boys will be boys.” That is not what I want for my kids.

And it’s even more essential for me to shut down these stereotypes because I’m the mom to two Black boys. When I hear them, I feel like these phrases have the potential to erase the small dose of innocence little Black boys are allowed in a world destined to vilify them. Being wild and rough, or being a “heartbreaker” in relationships are generalizations society routinely associates with Black men. However, the difference is that when Black boys absorb those generalizations, there is little grace that may be extended to white children. According to a 2014 study conducted by the American Psychological Association, Black boys are viewed as older and less innocent in comparison to white boys from the age of 10—which leads to harsher disciplinary actions.

Words have power. I want my children to be well-adjusted, functioning members of society. That’s why I do everything in my power to not only shower them with positive affirmations, but I correct any adult who dares repeat those narrow minded ideologies about or around my children in the hopes they will one day learn the error in their words.

Until then, I’ll continue to do what I can to surround my boys with positive images of masculinity and defy gender stereotypes in the hopes that they will learn that  “boys will not be boys.” Instead, boys can aspire to be “good people.”

—Written by Terri Huggins Hart  
Terri Huggins Hart is a nationally-published journalist, freelance writer, and public speaker. Find her on Instagram @terrificwords.

This post originally appeared on StereoType.

Elizabeth Brunner is a San Francisco-based designer and the founder of StereoType, a gender-free, st‌yle-forward kids clothing brand that’s designed to celebrate individuality and freedom of self-expression by blending traditional ideas of boys’ and girls’ wear. StereoType combines st‌yle, design and comfort to inspire creativity, individuality and freedom of expression.

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Simplify Stressful School Nights with These 8 Ideas

By Kara Reynolds

Whether you’re a busy parent with lots of activities on your plate or a teen with your own school schedule to think about, back-to-school season has definitely kicked everyone’s organizational skills into high gear once more. School nights may begin to feel hectic again—between the homework, planning for the next day, and trying to fit some rest in there somewhere.

However, you can form a regimen that gets these priorities down pat. Here are a few tips you can use to simplify your school nights so they run as smoothly as possible.

1. Establish Your Own Bedtime Routine
Having a bedtime routine can be more helpful than you think—especially when that routine includes an actual bedtime. Having a bedtime, no matter how old you are, can help you fall asleep faster and easier so you can get enough sleep each night. That means even after you tuck the kiddos in for the night, you might need your own bedtime and wind-down routine.

2. No Caffeine After School
This one might be a little tough to get used to at first, but it goes hand in hand with getting a good night’s rest. Although caffeine can be a great study aid and pick-me-up, having caffeine after 2:00 p.m. can make it more difficult to get to sleep come nightfall. It’s best to leave the coffee for the morning and stick to non-caffeinated beverages after school.

3. Make Lunches Ahead of Time
Part of simplifying your school nights is prepping for the morning so you don’t need to wake up at a ridiculous hour to be ready for the day ahead. One of the best ways to do this is to pack a lunch ahead of time so you can refrigerate it and grab it to go when the morning comes. This can also make it much easier to create nutritious, balanced dishes with protein, fruits, and vegetables.

4. Tackle Homework First Thing
Doing homework after a long day of school can sometimes feel like the biggest task in the world, but the task can feel even more looming when you leave it for the end of the night. If possible, it can be a great idea to use the momentum from the school day to tackle homework first thing so you have the rest of the night to enjoy family time. If your kiddos are still at the age where you need to help them with homework, you can encourage this even more as a habit they can take with them as they grow.

5. Pick Out the Next Day’s Clothes
Much like packing lunch the night before, picking your outfits and the kids’ outfits before bed can simplify the morning. In fact, it’s actually said to help you make more informed decisions when you choose your clothing at this time of day. This removes a step from your morning routine and helps the a.m. go more smoothly.

6. Leave the Shower for the Morning
You might be asking yourself, what can you leave out from your nighttime routine and actually let go for the morning? Well, your daily shower is definitely one of those things! Plenty of people shower in the morning, and it can even help you feel a bit more refreshed and awake. Even if you leave showering or bathtime for the kiddos at night, you can leave your showers for the morning to cut down on tasks for school nights.

7. Mimic Your Schedule on Weekends If Possible
Although the weekends are for fun and relaxation, it can never hurt to stick to a routine that works for you. Especially when it comes to things like bedtimes and evening routines, letting your kids go wild on the weekends can lead to difficult adjustments back on Monday. Try going with a relaxed but still reasonable schedule for weekends so your kids don’t get too thrown off their sleeping routines.

8. Give Yourself Some Downtime
No matter how many activities you can manage to pack into your evening routine, one of the most important things to give yourself, your kiddos, and your family is some downtime. Everyone needs rest, and if you’re looking to bring simplicity to your school nights, look no further than giving yourself a bit of downtime you all could enjoy. Bonus points if you can put the screens away and relax tech-free!

School nights don’t have to be stressful. In fact, when you get into a routine that you like and take the time to relax that you and your family deserve, you can create a great experience that lasts the whole school year and beyond. 

Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine.  A mom of four and matriarch to her big blended family, Kara wants nothing more than to normalize differences in family structures.  She enjoys peeing alone, pancakes, and pinot noir - but not at the same time. 

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All the Things Teachers Really Want This Year

by Karly Wood

It goes without saying that teachers are some of the hardest working professionals out there. Not only are they wrangling and educating our kids five days a week, but they often pay for the supplies out of their own pocket. With a new school year upon us, we asked teachers what kind of items they can always use in the classroom and here’s their wishlist.

Disinfecting Wipes

We love these Lemi Shine wipes because they are bleach free, made with biodegradable ingredients and kills over 99.9% of bacteria and viruses.

Find them at lemishine.com,

Printer Paper

Whether its having enough paper to print out worksheets or its used as a craft, teachers love having a stock of paper on hand. You can give the gift of paper easily on your next Target run by picking up a box for less than $20.

Hand Sanitizer

We've all come to value the importance of hand sanitizer the last year and a half––especially teachers. Help them stock up easily by grabbing a few extra bottles on your next Target or Walmart run, or order a huge bottle from Macy's to keep little hands clean.

Glue Sticks

For some reason, glue sticks are always in short supply, especially for kindergarteners! During back to school shopping, large packs are usually on big specials where you can snag 12 for less than $5. Your teachers will thank you!

Crayons

When you can find a pack of crayons for $4.99, why not shower your classroom with several boxes? Whether its for your kindergartener or fourth grader, crayons are always in high demand!

Paper Towels & Tissues

Spills, sneezes, messes, oh my! When it comes to paper supplies, school districts often shop quantity over quality––and can still run out. Teachers are always open to softer tissues and thicker paper towels if you can donate.

Single Color Packs of Construction Paper

Teachers will ALWAYS use packs of construction paper, but sometimes the most popular colors (like around holidays) aren't always in supply from the school stash. You can help by picking up a single color pack of larger sizes like 12x18 and gifting to teachers a month before the holiday approaches.

Treasure Box Items

We may not understand the draw of a sticky hand, but a full treasure box in the classroom is a huge help to teachers and students. Help your kiddos teacher with a donation of incentive items like fidgets, squishy toys and finger boards, all for less than $20.

Dry Erase Markers & Erasers

Little learners love to use small whiteboards in class, but erasers can either be terrible quality or in short supply. Grab a huge pack of pens and erasers on your next Amazon order to keep the dry erase fun going!

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation.

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LisBon Acres &: Tentrr: Your Next Glamping Getaway

by Annette Benedetti

Imagine taking your kids on a camping trip that includes farm animals (even llamas!) you can pet and feed, yard games galore, a large luxury tent with an actual bed, and even a fully working loo! Just across the Columbia river, LisBon Acres offers a dream glamping Tentrr site with all of the amenities above and more. Pack your bags and get ready for a family getaway that is guaranteed to create memories that last a lifetime. Read on for all of the details and to find out what’s so special about a Tentrr site.

by Annette Benedetti

What is Tentrr?

LisBon Acres offers visiting families an extraordinary stay in their Tentrr Signature site. So what is Tentrr? Tentrr has over 800 locations around the country and connects adventurers with private landowners who want to share what's special about their land with travelers. Tentrr Signature sites let people camp in style with no equipment required. Tentrr partners like LisBon Acres offer a curated glamping experience with the opportunity for luxury add-ons and local experiences that will make your trip even more memorable.  

LisBon Acres

Get ready for a dream Glamping experience at this special hobby farm nestled in the foothills of Amboy. Just an hour drive from Portland, it's the perfect adventure for families with children of all ages. The glamping site itself is packed with things for both kids and adults alike to do. Right outside your tent you'll find a duck pond teaming with ducks and geese at play. There are yard games and a little playground with a slide, seesaw and more. The folks at LisBon offer a tour of the farm with your stay, which means you and your kiddos get to pet and feed lamas, baby goats, bunnies and more. There are even donkeys, chickens and a bee hive they make honey from! Expect your stay to be fun and educational.

 

By Annette Benedetti

LisBon Amenities

LisBon offers a true glamping experience for families who want to get out in nature, but appreciate a luxurious experience. The main canvas tent has a queen bed with a comfy mattress that will make you almost feel like you are sleeping in your own bed. Mom and dad can enjoy this space to themselves or put the kiddos on the carpeted floor in their sleeping bags. The space is lit by solar lighting and solar lanterns and there is propane heater for cold nights.

Your reservation also includes a dome camping tent that can comfortably fit three to four adults or up to six kiddos. There's a covered kitchen area with a three-burner propane camp stove, two sinks, and a sitting area. When you need to use the restroom, not to worry, the loo includes a seated composting toilet appropriately named "The Throne", and a shower stall where there is a hot-water on demand system.

The camp site has a great fire pit along with two Adirondack chairs and two hammock chairs for just lounging about enjoying yourself! And there is plenty of firewood and starter materials for the campfire. This  glamping site has it all. You don't even have to worry about water. A five-gallon water container is supplied in the kitchen area, and there is a solar shower bag in the LisBon Loo for hand washing. 

By Annette Benedetti

Additional Activities

If your family wants to embark on adventures off of the farm, this location offers access to so much more. You'll find boating, kayaking, swimming, hiking and so much more. The following are just some of our favorite opportunities:

  1. Swim and kayak at Lake Merwin, (just 15 minutes away).
  2. Explore the wonders of Mt. St. Helens' South side including the Ape Cave lava tube and Lava Canyon.
  3. Visit Pomeroy Farm, Chelatchie Prarie Railroad, North Clark Historical Museum, and the Cedar Creek Grist Mill. 

Hikes
There are tons of trails to hike nearby that are appropriate for all ages and abilities. The following are some of our favorites:

  1. Lucia or Moulton Falls: An easy 1.1 mile hike with a gorgeous waterer fall.
  2. Moulton Falls - East Fork of the Lewis River Trail: Easy 5.3 mile out and back trail. This is a favored swimming spot
  3. Bells Mountain Trail: A 16 mile out and back trail featuring a waterfall. It's long, but fairly easy for younger hikers.

The Details

Rates start at $125/night
Location and details available here.

By Annette Benedetti

Extras

Make your glamping experience even more comfortable with the LisBon addons. You can order the bedding package so you don't have to bring sleeping bags. There's a kitchen kit available so you can leave all of your own utensils at home. There's even a comfort and cozy beverage kit. Who doesn't love coffee first thing in the morning? You can find the addons here. 

—Annette Benedetti

Editor’s note: This trip was paid for by Tentrr but all opinions expressed here belong to the writer.

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Mother to Mother: Moms Share Their Best Baby Advice

by Suzanna Logan

Babies are lots of things—precious, sweet, funny, adorable, the list goes on. But one thing they are not? Easy. And that applies whether you’re a first-timer or a seasoned pro at the mom game. The good thing is, you’re not alone in navigating the crazy, messy, amazing journey of being a baby mama. Those who have gone before are always ready to offer their best advice. Here are 25 short-and-sweet parenting tips on everything from sleep and must-have baby gear to self-care.

iStock

1. Go slow and spend lots of time at home. It will keep mommy and baby healthy.

2. Have a routine and stick to it.

3. When in doubt, put them on the boob or add water (bath, shower, sprinkler, hydrate).

4. Don't scroll Facebook while you nurse in the middle of the night. It’s harder to get back to sleep, and you’ll miss out on savoring the time with your baby. It really goes by so quickly, although it doesn't feel like when you're nursing several hours a day!

5. Never wake a sleeping baby.

mom and newborn baby
iStock

6. Oldest and best advice in the book: Rest when they rest. Housework can wait.

7. Babies get bored, too! A change of scenery, like a walk around the neighborhood, can work wonders on a grumpy baby.

8. Find your village and ask for help. And if someone offers to come help if you need a shower or a nap, or to do the dishes, take them up on it!

9. There is no such thing as holding your baby too much. Embrace the little moments, be present, and enjoy that little person.

10. If the baby is fed, clothed, and loved, you’re doing everything right. There will be a million opinions on your parenting, so be kind to yourself as long as you know you’re doing your best.

11. Be patient with yourself and baby. You are both new at this. It takes time to get into the swing of things.

12. Tomorrow is a new day.

William Fortunato via Pexels

13. Take time for yourself. When your needs are met, you are more centered, patient and compassionate.

14. Don’t spend tons of money on baby clothes right away. There is ALWAYS a mom who is desperate to get rid of all the cute little outfits she sadly never got to use because babies grow out of things so fast.

15. Electric nail file. #gamechanger

16. Onesie pajamas with zippers only…unless, of course, fumbling with snaps when you’re bleary-eyed and half-asleep during middle-of-the-night diaper changes sounds like fun.

17. Try out different baby carriers until you find one that works for you, then baby wear as much as you can. It makes things so much easier.

18. Velcro swaddles—safe and snug.

19. Gripe water!

20. If you have anxiety while baby is sleeping, get an Owlet or other sleep monitor. Your rest is worth it.

Polina Tankilevitch via Pexels

21. Go with your instincts—the mom gut is always right.

22. It’s said often because it’s so true: The days may seem long, but the years are short.

23. Do what works for your baby, and don't worry about what anyone else says or does. What’s good for one person’s child may not be good for yours.

24. Don’t compare your baby’s milestones to those of other babies.

25. You are all that your baby needs!

—Suzanna Logan

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Hang in There: 25 Things New Moms Need to Hear

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The One Thing We Miss When We Applaud Our Kid’s Success

By Devin Tomiak

You’re beaming. Your daughter crushed it at her gymnastics meet. Or maybe your son aced that U.S. states quiz. Our instinct as parents is to shower our children with praise in their moments of success. We want to boost them up because, geez, there’s plenty that can bring them down in the day. And we want them to feel pride in their hard work. We want them to continue working hard. Plus, your child deserves to be celebrated.

But do they… completely?

We Americans value independence. We glorify the individual who shapes his or her own identity and destiny through choice, ability, and effort.

Yet, I don’t know any kid who hasn’t benefitted from the support (both emotional and financial) of you, their parent. Teachers and coaches deserve Empire-State-building-sized trophies this year, as far as I’m concerned. And there are countless others who propel our children to their fullest potential. How about the pediatrician who ingrained in your son the importance of a healthy diet so he had the mental clarity to remember where exactly Missouri is? Or your daughter’s friend who helped her perfect that backbend? Or perhaps even Mary Lou Retton, who inspired her?

This is not to say that your kid doesn’t deserve props. We, as parents, should be our kids’ loudest and most obnoxious fans. Our children need that in our hyper-competitive, goal-driven society.

But there’s another angle from which we can frame success that isn’t centered on your child’s magnificence.

That angle? Gratitude.

Being grateful is realizing that the goodness in your life has come to you, not only because you earned it, but because of other people.

Study after study over the past decade shows that people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed.

Not only that, but when we acknowledge that success always comes on the shoulders of others, we don’t diminish our child’s worth. Rather we foster a sense of connection in our child. Since other people and things contribute to our good fortune, reminding your child who helped them achieve their win will connect them to others, nature and even something larger than themselves.

Why is this connection important? 

A sense of connectedness is the number one resilience-building factor for youth. According to the American Psychological Association, “Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family.”

This means we should try and use every opportunity we have to promote connectedness. Our society tells us it’s all about you, the individual. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps. But that’s not the reality of life. So much of our good fortune comes to us, not because we deserve it, but because of forces outside ourselves.

So let’s appreciate that—let’s be grateful—and teach our kids to as well.

It’s okay to say “Your teacher worked so hard to teach you the states, and you worked so hard to memorize them!” Or “You put so much effort into prepping for your gymnastics meet! Your little brother got schlepped to a gazillion practices for you!”

Tell your child how awesome they are after they crush it. And then ask them who helped them get there, or encourage them to think about the circumstances that allowed them to succeed. You’ll double the win.

RELATED:
How to Teach Children Gratitude
Finding Gratitude Isn’t Easy
18 Tips for Raising Grateful Kids

This post originally appeared on The Biggies Conversation Cards Blog.
Feature Image: Lisa Wall via Unsplash

After losing a brother to suicide, Devin Tomiak was driven to understand youth resiliency. Her personal mission to strengthen her relationship with her children, develop their emotional intelligence, and improve the communication skills of her whole family led her to create The Biggies Conversation Cards for elementary-aged kids.

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Party On(line): How to Plan a Virtual Baby Shower

by Suzanna Logan

There is nothing as precious or as important as the arrival of a new baby, and the little one’s arrival should be celebrated accordingly—no matter what. Thankfully, technology makes it easy to shower a new mama with all the love she deserves via a virtual baby shower, whether social distancing is a factor or mom’s nearest and dearest are simply miles away. If you’re hosting for a family member, or friend or even looking for ways to celebrate your own little one in utero, read on for how to get the preggo party going—virtually. 

1. Keep It Simple—or Don’t!
When planning a virtual baby shower, the first thing to keep in mind is that, like a traditional, in-person shower, a virtual event can be as simple or as detailed as the mama-to-be wants it to be. There is no right or wrong way to host a baby shower, so let go of the pressure or any preconceived notions of how it “ought” to go and just have fun!

2. Make a List of Attendees
If you’re in search of a silver lining to having a virtual baby shower (there are lots!), here is one to get you started: unlimited invites. Having to pare down an invite list due to venue size or budget restraints can be one of the hardest parts of this type of event, but with a virtual party, you can open the doors for as many people as you want to pour on the love to the soon-coming bundle of joy.

3. Pick a Platform
There are a few different ways to go about throwing a virtual baby shower. Some reliable go-tos are Zoom, Skype, FaceTime, Google Hangouts, or Evite. There is a bit of a learning curve to learning how to use these video-conferencing sites, so familiarize yourself with the platform of your choice and try out a few test runs with friends before the big day. That way you can help guide attendees, especially those who aren’t that tech-savvy. (Important note: On Zoom, you’ll have to pay for a “Pro” account or restart your meeting every 40 minutes. Google Hangouts and Skype don’t have set time limits on meetings.) 

4. Invite Right
Choose a party time when most people are likely to be available to attend. Create an online invite using a service like Minted, Paperless Post, or Evite (which now offers direct video-chatting capabilities) with the shower’s date, time, and name of the host. Be sure to note clearly that this baby shower is a virtual event, and include any necessary meeting log-in information. It can be helpful to set the party time 10 minutes earlier than the time you share with the mom-to-be so everyone is ready and waiting to celebrate when the special guest logs in. Of course, traditional registry information should also be included if gifts are desired by the mama-to-be. (Including an “order by” deadline can be helpful to encourage gifts to arrive on time.) 

5. Encourage Guests to Decorate
It can be easy to overlook the decorations in a virtual baby shower, but having a few decor items—-balloons, banners, streamers—will turn a hangout into a special event. Ask all invitees to jazz up their backgrounds with some basic party decor or baby-shower-themed items. To give guests extra motivation, frame the request in the invite as a contest, with a virtual gift card to be sent to the winner. 

6. Get Ready for Game Time
In a traditional party setting, the small talk and side conversations can easily fill an hour or two, but a video call doesn’t allow for the same easy-flowing conversation that would happen at an in-person shower. So you’ll want to plan games that encourage interaction among invitees. Some fun ideas: charades (only baby-themed words allowed, of course!) or a scavenger hunt show-and-tell. In this game, you give everyone a minute to dash around their house and find items that could be used, for example, to entertain/soothe/clothe/etc. an infant, and then have each person explain what they chose. Laughs guaranteed. 

7. Plan for Gifts
If the new mom created a registry and information was sent out via invites, opening gifts that arrived before the virtual baby shower is a fun activity to round out the event and give the gift-givers a chance to see mom-to-be’s reaction to their gifts. If the baby shower is more of a “sprinkle,” and opening gifts isn’t part of the plan, there is a way to still shower the expecting mom with love in a tangible way: Compile a basket with always-appreciated baby items (like wipes and pacis) and self-care products, such as a new water bottle or gift cards for coffee or takeout. Drop off the basket before the event with instructions not to open it until shower time.

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