ML Interest Tag: wedding

I’ve Almost Forgotten What the Real World Is like

By Jenni Brennan

kid basketball

I’ve almost forgotten what the real world feels like. I’ve almost forgotten what it was like before masks were added to the mental checklist of things I needed to make sure my kids had before they left the house each day.

I’ve almost forgotten what it was like to have my kids leave the house at all.

I’ve almost forgotten what it felt like to sit in my car before work, sipping a freshly made drink from Starbucks while listening to the radio. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to leave my house for work at all. I’ve almost forgotten what it felt like to board an airplane with my husband on our way to an annual vacation alone in the sun, knowing my babies were safe at home with their grandmother or aunt and without worrying that they could get each other sick.

I’ve almost forgotten what it felt like to be alone with my husband at all. I’ve almost forgotten what it felt like to plan an impromptu night at my house with some friends, without having to worry about exposing each other or breaking a new rule about crowd sizes. I’ve almost forgotten what it felt like to see friends, colleagues, acquaintances, or strangers on a regular basis at all.

I’ve almost forgotten what it felt like to dance the night away at a fundraiser or wedding. I’ve almost forgotten what it felt like to celebrate anything at all.   I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to step foot inside my children’s schools for parent-teacher conferences or fundraisers or Saturday morning junior basketball games. I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to feel connected to my children’s schools or sports at all. I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to sit in the stands for hours at youth sports games, sharing a box of extra toasted Cheez-Its with other parents.

I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to feel that alive and in the moment at all. I’ve almost forgotten what the real world feels like…but I’m holding onto hope that I’ll see it again soon. I will drive to work again and walk on tropical beaches with my husband again and dance at weddings again and sit in crowded stands with other parents sharing Cheez-Its again. And when I do all those things again, I’m going to appreciate them like never before.

This post originally appeared on Changing Perspectives.

Jenni Brennan is a psychotherapist, college professor, creator of Changing Perspectives, and co-host of The Changing Perspectives Podcast. Jenni is passionate about exploring the topics of parenting, relationships, grief, and mental health through her writing and podcast episodes. She lives with her husband, 2 sons, 3 dogs, and 2 cats in Massachusetts.

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Patrick Mahomes & Brittany Matthews Welcome Their First Child

by Erica Loop

NFL star Patrick Mahomes welcomed daughter Sterling Skye over the weekend with long-time love, fiance, and now new mommy Brittany Matthews.

Mahomes announced the Feb. 20 birth of the couples’ first child on Instagram, with a sweet post. The post featured a pic of the newborn’s teeny tiny hand holding her mommy’s finger—and a necklace with her name written in sparkling cursive.

The new parents started dating as teenagers. Mahomes popped the question to his high school sweetheart last September, after the Chiefs’ Super Bowl ring ceremony. Not long after announcing their engagement, Matthews posted a photo of the pair holding an ultrasound pic on IG, with the caption, “Mom & Dad, taking a small detour to the wedding.”

Matthews also posted the same mommy-daughter newborn photo her soon-to-be husband shared. Along with her baby girl’s name, Matthews added the baby’s weight—six pounds and 11 ounces!

Congrats went out to the new parents from several notable celebs. Gwen Stefani responded to Mahome’s post, “congratulations! cool name!” and Jerry Rice shared, “Congratulations!!”

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Jamie Lamor Thompson via Shutterstock

 

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A Gift Idea That’ll Have You Singing Its Praises

by Amy Bizzarri

We have a lot of holidays coming around the bend. First up, Valentine’s Day! But Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, not to mention birthdays—they’ll all be here before you know it. So many gift-giving holidays, so few ideas that go beyond the everyday ordinary. Wait, hold up! We found a Chicago-based start-up that will create a personalized, radio-quality song designed with your loved one in mind. Read on to hear how Songfinch will connect you with a songwriter who will record a special song featuring all the inside jokes, nicknames, stories and wishes you want captured within the notes, making for a memorable gift literally like no other.

Songfinch's Personal Story

Founded by a team of Chicago music and technology veterans Josh Kaplan, Rob Lindquist and John Williamson, Songfinch's goal is to capture moments and stories in song. “We, as people, create story-worthy moments every day, and more and more, these experiences are being valued above things that can be purchased,” shares Williamson, “There’s no medium that speaks more directly to the soul than music. By leveraging the power of music, we’re creating an entirely unique approach to the gifting space, and we’re really excited to help people connect with others in new ways.”

Choose Your Own (Song) Adventure

You'll complete what Songfinch calls a "story guide" providing details on the person, live event or experience you want to hear recreated in music mode. Your story guide can include anything you'd like, from the oddball characteristics that make your loved one oh-so-unique to the pee-in-your-pants memories that capture the special moments you've shared. You'll also set the particular mood or vibe the song should capture, be it peppy, romantic, jazzy. Then choose the type of vocalist preferred: maybe you're looking for a birthday rap with a blues-y overtone or a crooner-style wedding anniversary ballad.

We tested out this amazing new service and here’s how it works!

Personal Story from Our Writer, Amy Bizzarri

I chose to create a song to gift my music-loving daughter, Chiara, on her 7th birthday. I shared some insider details on her bright personality as well as all the things that make her happy: playing with her dog outside, traveling, playing the piano.

A Match Made in Musical Heaven

Songfinch will handpick the perfect music artist (from their team of 200+ vetted songwriters) to craft and professionally record a song. One week later, you’ll receive a downloadable/shareable web page known as a “Story Homepage” where you’ll find your love brought to life in song.

Amy's Review of the Experience

We were matched with artist Katie Stump, who recorded a beautiful ballad that truly captured my love for my daughter, Chiara. I have to admit that when I first listened, tears welled up in my eyes! I surprised my daughter by playing her song after school on our car radio. Her reaction: At first, her jaw dropped. She simply couldn't believe she was listening to a song made just for her! Soon she was singing along and making attempts to play the song on her piano. Months later, it remains a top requested song in our already musical household. 

 

How Much for All These Feels?

The cost? Just $249 for a song that will be cherished by your family forever! (Note: Songfinch is offering a discount right now, $199/song.)

"One of the most unique aspects of Songfinch is that the product comes from your heart." explains co-founder Rob Lindquist. "It allows you to intimately share your memories and feelings. . . something that tends to be a challenge for people, especially in a one-to-one setting. Being able to have those types of personal details created into a beautiful piece of music, it seems to speak better than any other gift out there.”

Learn more about Songfinch or arrange a musical ode of your own at songfinch.com.

— Amy Bizzarri

Photos courtesy of Songfinch and Amy Bizzarri

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Why Don’t Men Talk about Infertility?

By Brittany Stretchbery

There are several things people seem to “know” right off the bat when it comes to family planning, conception, and infertility.

  1. It’s a women’s issue, certainly not for men to discuss
  2. Infertility is all about the woman
  3. Men are along for the ride—when the woman wants a child, the couple wants a child

First you date. Move-in together. Get married. Then you have kids. In that order. At every wedding—“You’re next, when are you putting a ring on it?” from some nosy person. Chill, bro. Don’t try to press me. Then whenever someone wants to know about your sex life, they ask, “When are you finally going to have a baby?” incessantly. I always wanted to ask if they were having unprotected intercourse. But I digress.

The First Steps

First comes the “I’m not trying, but I’m not trying not to” routine. Really, I think it’s just something us guys say because we don’t want to look too eager to get into the parenting thing. Especially for younger couples, it’s easier to say that than to hear, “You have your whole life” when you say you want kids now. But let’s face it, you want kids and you really are giving it the old college try.

Mood: Great. Sex all the time, no more worrying about birth control or any of that business. Just… fun.

Should It Take This Long?

“If you have sex, you will get her pregnant.” You totally expect it’ll be quick! Two or three months tops? Surely it’ll be happening soon. Like, really soon. Let’s give it a few months. What people don’t commonly know is that your odds of conception are only 20-25% each month for the healthiest of people.

Mood: Still pretty good. Because, sex, you know? But maybe we should try something different

Ok. Really, Let’s ACTUALLY Start Trying

This is where the research comes in. Basal body temps, special lubrication, cutting the booze, eating healthier, monitoring cycles. The list goes on. So after 7-8 months, you reach “let’s actually put a plan in place” status. We’re smart people, we can handle this.

Mood: Well, this is slightly annoying. Still, sex. But now it’s planned. And that’s not so exciting.

Infertility: The Dreaded Word

After 12 months of trying, you now get slapped with the infertility title, by medical definition. We knew it was headed that way, but it still sucks going to the Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) for the first time. For the wife, it was her feeling like a failure. This goes back to the beginning rule: infertility is a women’s issue.

For us guys, our experience is different. Doctors, nurses, insurance people, etc. all try their best to include the males, but at clinics, the woman is the patient. The woman gets the tests. She has to talk to insurance because the husband isn’t a patient. For me, that was the most frustrating part. Not being talked to as a patient but as the support. Give us your sample and you can go on your way.

Mood: This is such crap. But we’re taking charge, here. Bringing in the experts. As the guy, I might be ignored a bit, but it’s worth it. Also, if you ever posted a baby picture on Facebook, I hated you and probably hid you from my timeline. You’ve since been re-added and I’ve caught up on your awesome journey through parenthood.

On to the Treatments!

Monitoring. Blood tests. Shots. Lots and lots of shots. Have you ever been jealous of someone getting a shot or blood drawn or anything? It’s a very strange experience. If I could have taken my wife’s place as a human pin cushion, I would have. No doubt. It started out gradually with just oral medication and ultrasounds, but then we got into blood tests and a trigger shot (to induce ovulation). And after that, stimulating hormone shots.

Mood: Ok, for real. I am here. Maybe talk to me a bit?

Total side note: I got to be a damn fine shot giver. Like, so good. Me doing the shots, in a way, got me more involved in the process. I was less resentful of the whole thing because I actually felt like I had a role in creating my child. But that wasn’t until basically year four of our infertility journey. Years two and three were super shitty. One failed procedure after another, a canceled IVF cycle. It wears on you.

Mood: Our second cycle of IVF was actually a great experience from my perspective. I had a role. A purpose. And everything she was doing wasn’t going to be a complete waste of time and money.

Looking Back at the Whole Infertility Experience

Obviously, I wouldn’t take it back. I have a daughter (who is now an energetic 4-year-old). Gosh, it sure was terrible at times. And other times it was just laughable. Let’s just say that our dignity took a hit between collecting samples and a million ultrasounds. 

There’s still a ton of stigma associated with infertility—and that’s the reason I am writing this today.

Yes, men can and do want families just as bad as their wives.

Yes, the woman is the patient. But I am still a willing and necessary part of the equation.

This post originally appeared on Bottles & Banter.
Brittany Stretchbery
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

I work for an airline, so our our family of 4 flies everywhere on standby. Meaning, we never know if we'll actually get there. It's like travel Hunger Games. We have young kids and were never sold on the belief that you can't travel with little ones.

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The Case of the Missing Breast Pump

By Karissa Whitman

Photo: Karissa Whitman

I was four months postpartum. I was struggling with nursing my son, but we had a wedding we had already committed to going to. I was so nervous because I was worried I’d lose my breastmilk supply for not nursing for so long. I spent the entire day packing myself a little bag full of my supplies. My breast pump, bottles, an icepack inside an insulated cooler for my milk, my nipple cream, etc…I was packed and ready.

I needed to run to the bathroom real quick and figured “Hey, why not rely on my sweet reliable awesome husband to put my bags in the car?” You know, I trusted him so much I didn’t even think to check all the bags made it into the trunk. 

About 25 minutes into our drive, I told my husband I’d probably have to pump upon arriving and once again before the reception starts. His response, “Well, did you bring your pump?” I looked at him and said, “Well duh, you packed the bags in the car, right?” Nope. He only grabbed one bag. My purse. Which, thanks hunny, I did need that. But I really needed the pump more.

At this point, the panic started to set in. This was our first long outing without my son. It was about 50 miles away from home. And already late at night. Once I calmed down, I figured I could just run to a local Target or Walmart and pick up a little cheap hand pump. Well get this, we get to Target, run in, and they were sold out of hand pumps. The next best thing was a $100 electric pump.

At this rate, I was thinking I could just grab some bottles, a little cooler and manually express myself. We were now running about 15 minutes late to this wedding we had already driven so far to get to and decided that would be the plan. During the first “manual” pump, I sat in the car all by myself with my husband’s shirts hanging on the windows for some privacy. I was trying so hard to express anything but just kept getting a drop, drop, drop. I never even had a letdown, yet my breasts felt so full and engorged by this rate.

I sat in the car and shed a few tears, I mean come on, can ya blame a girl with breasts full of milk who is pumpless and it’s the first long outing away from her baby? Talk about the worst-case scenario. I tried going back inside and running some paper towels under warm water to try and warm compress, but that didn’t work either.

Looking back I think I was so stressed it definitely played into my ability to have a letdown. Also looking back, I will never let my husband pack my pump again, well I probably will, but that trust is hard to regain. I mean, lesson truly learned. By the time we got home that night (and yes, we ended up leaving early), I was able to nurse my son and relieve all the pain and pressure from the milk.

So new mama, my tip to you? Take a moment to double-check that you’ve packed your breast pump and that it’s also in the car. 

Karissa is a mom to two young boys and a blogger of Mom After Baby. Karissa believes ALL moms are capable of life beyond motherhood and is passionate about providing informative & educational content to new, expecting, and postpartum moms.

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Help! Save Me from My Pet Name!

By Olugbenga Ojuroye

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but many families have different inclinations when it comes to nicknames at home. Parents call their children various names that range from the cute and funny to the ridiculously weird. And I think it’s okay. Parents have dibs on their children’s names and whatever they choose to christen them sticks for a very long time, at least until they start revolting.

Husbands and wives also have pet names for one another. Often, names they call each other could even be used to interpret the partner’s mood.

Honey

Boo

Bae

Babe

Those are good signs that everything is fair in the relationship. Sometimes, it’s a good sign that maybe there could be some action in a full moon. But when she starts using your first and last name in a single sentence and starts to sound like your mum? Then you know there’s trouble.

But, hey, the dynamic is expected. It’s predictable and traditional. There’s a minimal amount of pet names children can call their parents. For the most part, we have Daddy, Papa (Baba), Pops, Dad, and by his first name when the parent is a new step parent trying to gain the partner’s children’s endearment—at least that’s what I see in the movies. Then for the mothers, we have Mum, Mommy and Mama. There’s just some unspoken rule that the names don’t go beyond these.

But what happens when children start to break the rules? What happens when children begin calling parents Honey, Boo and…Babe. Yes, Babe! That’s my predicament and there seems to be no way around it. Let me give you some background, so you’ll understand why I feel it’s weird.

An Introduction to African Naming

It takes several years in the typical African family before children find out their parent’s real names. If you ever did find out their names, it was probably on some loose documents. I found out my parents’ names from their wedding invitation card I found lying among some old papers. I think I was around 11 years old at the time.

Here’s how it goes down in Yoruba Culture in Nigeria. From the moment you get married and start having kids, your entire identity centers around either the name of your first child or where you live. So, my elder brother’s name is Ayo. To every family member, especially the second generation, my parents were no longer Olufemi and Olaitan but were now called Daddy Ayo and Mummy Ayo respectively.

And that was the same for all my aunts and uncles. I never knew their first names. It was Mummy Ikeja, Mummy Ikorodu, Mummy Isolo, Daddy Moyo instead of their first names. I remember when I heard one of the elder cousins referring to my aunt, whom I had known for years as Mummy Temidayo by a different name. I was like, “Whoa, is that her first name?” So I thought, hey, Aunty Bose sounds way cooler than Mummy Temidayo, at least, it was less of a mouth full.

I received the lecture of a lifetime the day I tried calling her Aunty Bose. That’s when I knew there were rules behind the names and that the ruling nomenclature wasn’t by default. Then I knew that it was either Mummy Temidayo or Mummy Ikeja (Ikeja is where she lived). The only exception to this rule was when you knew the aunt or uncle before they married or started having children. Of course, in that case, the aunt or uncle didn’t have a child to steal their identity. Now let’s get into the bizarre stuff.

My Christening & the Pet Name that Won’t Go Away

My wife and my brother’s wife are quite close. For some reason, they both decided to call my elder brother and me the same pet name: Babe. My wife had decided earlier before we started having children that we weren’t going to follow tradition. That meant no changing our identities to prefixes of our first child’s name and no naming ourselves after a location. But with the use of a pet name, our children won’t still know our first names, which was cool.

It started with “Babe” to my wife and “Daddy” to my daughter. That seemed like a relatively simple and logical arrangement that didn’t seem to stray too far from tradition. But now it seemed the tables have turned and tradition has flipped on its head.

Now, I’ve become Babe to everyone! My daughter calls me Babe like it’s my first name.

“Babe! I need a snack!”

“Babe! Please, I’m hungry!”

I hear my brother is facing the same thing too. His son calls him Babe!

So do I sit her down and give her the same lecture I received years ago? Will being strict about what she calls me cause a strain in our relationship?

Well, she’s just six anyway. She’ll probably outgrow it, right?

Olugbenga is a Professional Writer focusing on Spirituality and Motivation. He writes actively on Medium Publications. He runs cloakoffire.com, where he writes on spirituality and olugbengawrites.com to offer professional writing services. When he is not writing, he plays house with his wife and two daughters, who all call him Babe.

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Dear Younger, Wide-Eyed Me: Welcome to Parenthood

By elham raker

Photo: Jennifer Lightner

We have a photo wall in my house of black and white pictures from different important stages of our lives. I love the pictures, I love how the wall looks, and I stare at it often. Sometimes I take a moment to really look at it, not just fly by. I usually just look at the kids, but the other day I stared at my face in each picture.

I have no idea what prompted me to do that (I hate looking at myself in general, let alone analyzing a photo of myself) but each face—my face—told a story.

In my wedding photo, I was ecstatic. It was hands down the best day of my life. The picture is of me with my husband during our first dance. I’m beaming with a smile ear to ear…I’m truly happy. We had no time to choreograph our dance, we were barely in the same city, let alone the same room before we got married. But I didn’t care how lame we looked just holding each other and swaying like teenagers—I was married to the love of my life and I was the happiest girl in the world.

The next photo is of my son, exactly seven days after he was born at his Bris (a religious ceremony—and probably the most stressful life event for a new Jewish mom). In the picture, my husband and I were holding him and kissing the top of his head. I looked terrified, my face a complete look of self doubt and uncertainty. Am I holding him too tight, too loose, is he okay, will he be okay, what happens if he cries, what happens if he doesn’t cry, is he too hot, too cold? I literally worried about everything and felt responsible for every single emotion of his—and I was certain I was going to mess it all up.

The next pictures were taken two weeks after my daughter was born. My son was 2 and-a-half years old. My husband and I had a house, a mortgage and two kids. I felt like a real grownup. We could actually afford a fancy studio photographer and fancy birth announcements. I now had two little people counting on me…and I was…exhausted.

In this particular picture of the four of us, I looked impatient. I looked like I had a fake smile and I remember thinking, please everyone just look at the freakin’ camera…just one decent picture. Hoping my naked baby does not poop on me. Hoping my son doesn’t tantrum and refuse to be in a picture, hoping we can get the perfect birth announcement… Thinking: just keep it together people!

Looking back at all these photos, I thought what I would tell my past self, knowing what I know now.

Dear Wedding Day Me,

Remember this day and this feeling forever! The love you have will literally carry you through some dark times. You will be challenged, beyond the point you think you can endure and you will doubt yourself…a lot. Some days will feel like it’s too hard to keep going.

You will walk through fire, sometimes alone, sometimes with your husband by your side, sometimes him holding you and sometimes you holding him. But you will come out the other side holding each other and completely in love! You are stronger than you think.

Dear New Mom Me,

You have so many doubts, everything in you is unsure and worried. That’s okay. Your son doesn’t see any of that. He doesn’t care if you nurse him or give him a bottle. He knows you love him with all your heart and he loves you right back.

You’re his rock, the one he comes to when things go wrong. Tou figure sh-t out and tell him it will be okay. And he believes you ’cause you’re mom. You got this, and…You are stronger than you think.

Dear Veteran Mom Me,

The next couple of years will be tough. You’ll feel like you will never have your stuff together…again…or ever! Your kids will get hurt and you will feel like the worst mom ever. Sh-t gets real. But things get better. They always get better. You’ll walk through fire again…and again…and again—but you get through it, stronger every time.

You will meet many guardian angels throughout the way, in many different forms: just be open to it, to all of it.

Life is messy and unpredictable and so hard for your Type A personality—but you gotta let it go girl! Just let it go and enjoy these fleeting moments. They don’t last. Be present and don’t worry about the perfect picture, because it’s the memory behind the picture that is so much sweeter and better.

And never forget: you will always be stronger then you think.

 I'm a mom to 2 busy kids and a pediatrician. My blog is about all things mom, doctor and how the two come together. My goal is to help you find your voice while I find mine and help you become your best version while I become mine!

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Patrick Mahomes & Brittany Matthews Expecting First Child

by Jennifer Swartvagher

It’s been an exciting year for the Mahomes family. Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes and his fiancée Brittany Matthews are expecting their first child together. The couple each announced the good news on their Instagram pages. 

Patrick Mahomes

Matthews shared two photos with Mahomes, in which she holds up a sonogram while he cradles her baby bump. 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Mom & Dad, taking a small detour to the wedding❤️

A post shared by Brittany Matthews (@brittanylynne) on

 

“Mom & Dad, taking a small detour to the wedding,” Matthews captioned the photos.

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

❤️

A post shared by Patrick Mahomes II (@patrickmahomes) on

 

Mahomes also posted a similar announcement on his page simply captioning his photo with a heart emoji. 

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Jamie Lamor Thompson via Shutterstock

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Chrissy Teigen and John Legend Threw a Wedding For Luna’s Stuffed Animals & It Was Amazing

by Jennifer Swartvagher

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are parenting goals. On Sunday, the couple put together a wedding ceremony for their 3-year-old Luna’s lamb, Chloe, and bunny, Nash. Sounds like a great way to spend the day during this time of social distancing. 

On her Twitter page, Teigen shared all details that went into planning the ceremony. According to her Twitter post, “planning a wedding for tomorrow between a stuffed bunny and stuffed lamb. their song is “can’t keep my hands to myself” and food will be peanut butter on little spoons.

Teigen baked a two tier brownie cake, complete with flowers and Legend performed the wedding song for the happy couple. The ceremony was broadcast live on Instagram so everyone could witness the happy occasion. 

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Nick Fewings on Unsplash

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The Top 10 Ways to Make a Pregnant Woman Angry

By Jamie Johnson

I had my first day of this pregnancy where I completely and totally lost it this week. Pretty much everything that happened made me mad or made me want to cry. When I realized how ridiculous I was being, I decided I needed to write about it. That’s logical, right? Ha!

Really it was because I know all you other pregnant women have felt the same way. And sometimes it’s nice to share the irrational crazy that happens while forming a child in your womb. And by irrational crazy, I mean, I know I am acting like a complete and total lunatic but I could care less.

Disclaimer: Before my first pregnancy, I had no idea the mood swings that came with pregnancy. I really thought women were embellishing their stories. Then it happened. I apologize to any woman that I ever said was overreacting. And I now understand if you wanted to punch me.

So here is a list of some of the easiest ways to make a pregnant woman angry, sad, pissed off, extremely emotional and/or full of rage.

1. Get her fast food order wrong. How dare you short me a chicken nugget AND forget my honey mustard! If I wasn’t in a hurry, I would march straight up in that Wendy’s and raise hell. Or cry and really scare the s**t out of the poor teenager at the cash register.

2. Tell her how to parent her toddler. Yes, I know my toddler should be wearing a coat. No s**t. But after trying to wrestle it onto him this morning I just gave up. I fight my battles and outerwear wasn’t on the list this morning. Lucky for you, I won the pants battle.

3. Tell her that she looks much further along in her pregnancy than she is. Yes, I promise I am only 18 weeks. And yes, I am POSITIVE it’s not twins. I am growing a human in my uterus. Give it a shot and try to look trim and fit while doing it.

4. Ask her why she isn’t wearing her wedding or engagement ring. Maybe because my fingers resemble those Vienna Sausages that come out of a can and they were cutting off the circulation. I can promise, I didn’t want to take them off but I would rather go without jewelry than lose an appendage.

5. Ask her how many times she has been to the taco bar in the last hour. I LOVE TACOS AND SO DOES MY BABY! Stop harassing me. I need sustenance.

6. Not do something that she asks you to do immediately after she asks. I know this is extremely irrational but my bossy reaches a new level of crazy while pregnant. When I ask someone to look at an email when they get a chance, I really mean to look at it now and I was trying to be polite and ask nicely.

7. Drink her favorite alcoholic beverage in front of her and talk about how good it tastes.  That is just mean. Yes, I miss drinking beer and wine. It is much harder to handle a two-year-old’s temper tantrum without the crutch of alcohol. Stop judging.

8. Tell her that she is overreacting. She knows she is overreacting. But she doesn’t care. And nothing will change her mind. Just agree with her and move on with your life.

9. Tell her the name she picked for her child reminds you of your ex-stepmom’s vet’s receptionist that went to prison for money laundering. And no, I don’t need to see her mugshot.

10. Touch her belly without asking. Where are your manners people? Hands off! Just because there is a baby in there doesn’t mean you can touch! I’m going to start rubbing people’s stomachs after they eat a large burrito and see how it makes them feel.

So there you go. The top ten ways to make a pregnant woman want to punch you in the face. So please, avoid doing these things at all costs. You can thank me later.

Until next time,

Jamie

This post originally appeared on Hashtag MomFail.

I am a full time working mom with two little boys, Henry and Simon. I write about real life and real life gets messy. Contributor for Motherly, HuffPost Parents, Scary Mommy, Today Parents, Love What Matters and Her View From Home. 

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