You might remember “7 Minutes in Heaven” or “Spin the Bottle” from your tween and teen years. If you do, you won’t be surprised to hear that games pushing the boundaries of consent and exploring sexuality are still around. The latest buzz involves the “Fire Truck Game,” which isn’t new but has been gaining more traction recently. Mom and nurse @the.funny.nurse took to TikTok to remind parents that having a frank conversation about bodily autonomy is more important than ever.
@the.funny.nurse Y’all gonna see me on the 6 O’clock news. #jrhigh #kids #tween #preteen #parents #moms #momsoftiktok #dads #dadsoftiktok #teacher #teachersoftiktok #publicschool #school #firetruck #firetruckgame #firetruckgameawareness #girls #boys #game
♬ original sound – Jin-Jin
“PSA to parents of children in junior high: My 11-year-old daughter just informed me that the boys are playing a game called the Fire Truck Game. We’ve got to do better teaching our boys to keep their hands off of other people and teaching our girls that it’s OK to have boundaries,” she says.
The “Fire Truck Game,” which has also been called “The Nervous Game,” is defined by Urban Dictionary as “a game where someone puts their hand on the other person’s inner thigh and travels upwards until the other person says ‘red light.’ But the thing is… the other person doesn’t stop and typically replies with, ‘Fire trucks don’t stop at red lights.’” Yikes.
While this is horrifying in and of itself, it’s important to realize that the Fire Truck Game isn’t the only time tweens and teens will find themselves in intimate situations—wanted or not—and it’s important to have a serious conversation about it.
In a recent Instagram video, Kathleen Henna, who specializes in helping parents navigate the “S” talk with kids, states that this is a good opportunity to help kids gain critical thinking skills and make smart decisions when faced with various games that press on the boundaries of consent.
How do parents navigate this type of situation? Talk about the concept of consent—again and again. While it’s understandable that tweens and teens in the thralls of hormonal changes are curious about sex, knowing what is and isn’t okay between two people is an absolute must.
Also, whether we want to admit it or not, it can be tricky for kids to actually use any tools they might have to set or respect boundaries when they’re older. Peer pressure and wanting to fit in sometimes make it more uncomfortable for kids to ask for consent or say no to unwanted advances.
“One reason to teach kids to ask for consent is that sometimes they are so focused on what they want that they don’t think about the other person’s feelings,” according to The Child Mind Institute. “Teenagers are naturally self-centered. They may think applying pressure is an appropriate way to get what they want.”
These conversations should be happening with both boys and girls because advances can happen to and by either sex; just remember to speak to your kids with zero judgment because they need to feel you are a safe space to share. Be empathetic, listen, and ask open-ended questions. You can also use simple phrases to respond that show you are just stating the facts, not judging your kids when they have something to say.
When giving kids the tools they need to deal with issues of consent, The Child Mind Institute suggests giving your children a set of questions or a mental list that allows them to check in with themselves. Questions like: “Do I feel safe?” “Is this what I want?” “Is this okay?” “Are you comfortable with this?” In addition, make sure they know that it is okay to say “NO,” and that if someone says “NO,” that’s it—game over.
This is big, scary stuff, but it isn’t new, and it’s not going away anytime soon. So, if your kid comes home asking or talking about the Fire Truck Game, take a moment to sit them down and start the conversation about what consent means for everyone involved.
