Does your kiddo have a favorite stuffed animal—the kind of beloved pal kind that does double duty as a BFF and bedtime buddy? For many children, a doll or stuffy holds an extra special place in their hearts… even when it gets worn and torn. (Two button eyes are overrated anyway, amiright?) The new picture book, A Bear to Share, captures this sweet sentiment while weaving in important messages about empathy and giving back to others.
Courtesy of Baby2Baby
Authored by actress Jessica Alba and Baby2Baby Co-CEOs Kelly Sawyer Patricof and Norah Weinstein, A Bear to Share, teaches kids about why it matters to help people in need. The main character, Tiana, loves her teddy bear, Bach. But one day, Tiana is gifted a brand new bear and she doesn’t know what to do. Does she donate Bach or keep them both? Follow along as Tiana learns about letting go and making choices that bring joy to others. Spoiler alert: she gifts her new bear to her best friend Timothy whose family is going through hard times.
Illustrated by Alicia Más, the vibrant, imaginative illustrations bring Tiana’s world to life. A perfect read as the holidays are approaching… this endearing tale demonstrates that sometimes giving feels even better than receiving (at any age!). Grab a copy, cuddle up with your kiddo, and have meaningful conversations about their role in helping those who are less fortunate in your community.
Baby2Baby is a nonprofit organization that provides children living in poverty, ages 0-12 years, with diapers, clothing, and all the basic necessities that every child deserves. The organization has distributed close to 200 million items, impacting hundreds of thousands of children.
Fellow parents were texting me in full-blown panic: “How is K doing?!? Is she hating it?!” We had just started remote distance learning and a flurry of texts came flashing over my cell phone. I peered over at my content daughter, happily typing away at her laptop and thought, “This is an introvert’s dream come true!”
To understand the introverted child, it's important to understand this: scientists believe that the introverted brain is one that is sensitive to the neurotransmitter dopamine because it has fewer receptors. In plain talk: too much dopamine through social stimulation, excitement and activity causes the introverted child to feel overwhelmed. This is why introverts prefer calm, quiet activities such as reading, writing or enjoying the company of one or two trusted friends as opposed to the social hubbub of larger gatherings. Introverts are born this way; there's nothing wrong with them—this is how they are wired.
In a society that encourages outgoing behavior and children to speak up and participate in classrooms, introverts are sometimes mistaken as shy, lacking confidence, weird or even troubled. With guidance, introverted children can flourish and thrive in a gregarious society. Over the years on my parenting journey, I have found a few tips that have been helpful for me, as an extrovert, in raising an introverted child. Although parenting is never a one-size-fits-all plan or formula, I hope that you might find one or two helpful tidbits below and if you have pearls of wisdom for me, I’d love to hear from you as well!
Accept and Embrace Your Introverted Child
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It was the Nth birthday party in which K spent the entire duration at my side, clinging to my leg instead of socializing with her peers. “She’s tired, we’ve had a long week” I offered as a way of explanation yet again. Back at home, K happily played at her train table and with LEGOS. Why do I bother taking her to these parties? Why can’t she be more like Gabriella, the pre-school crowned “Mayor” I wondered? As an extrovert, I was exasperated and wanted K to be more like the other affable, talkative kids and also... well, like me.
I am ashamed to say that I both misunderstood K in her early years and also had a hard time accepting she wasn’t more outgoing. I tried desperately to galvanize her social calendar through arranging playdates and throwing large, lavish birthday parties—my idea of a good time, not hers. My advice to myself back then would be this: it’s ok for your kid to cling to your leg at social gatherings and it's ok to have small, quiet birthday parties or (gasp!) not have one at all. Bigger and louder is rarely (if ever) desirable for the easily overwhelmed introverted child.
Provide a Safe Space (Both Literally & Figuratively & Respect That Space)
All children need safe spaces to retreat to but introverted children need them even more. While an extrovert may welcome you into their space, most often, the introvert will not. K sometimes spends hours in her room reading and drawing with the door closed and if left to her own devices, would happily stay in her room all day so long as three meals a day appeared outside her door.
One day, K had her nose stuck in a book and was getting ready to head upstairs for yet another long afternoon on her own. Suddenly, she turned and announced, “Actually, I feel like company right now” and proceeded to flop on the couch next to me. The two of us continued our books in comfortable silence. I have found that giving K room and space to withdraw and recharge gives her the bandwidth to voluntarily and even proactively engage with others.
Encourage Self-Expression Outlets
Most introverts will tell you that they love reading; many are prolific but K took it to another level. Having taught herself to read, K was reading chapter books by kindergarten and tackling classics by second grade. Other quiet activities she loves to do alone are drawing, writing stories, origami, crafts and sewing. K also enjoys composing music and delights in any time spent in front of a piano. Again, self-expression is essential for all children but introverted children will gravitate towards ones that are done in solitude. Accept. Embrace.
Know When to Push
American Camp Association
Fact: Introverts need to be goaded and coaxed into social gatherings and physical activity that require exiting the house. I have spent countless hours mentally preparing K for new (or old!) social situations. Be flexible and choose your battles. Allow extra time for mental prep. Sometimes a compromise might involve leaving early or not going to one gathering but promising to go to the next. You know your child best and know when they need a firm nudge.
Recently, K joined our church’s youth group. We talked beforehand about what to expect and when we pulled up, she asked to be dropped off instead of being walked in as we previously agreed on. I watched as she exited the car, took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and headed into a courtyard full of strangers...anxious but determined. Our journey continues to this day and we are constantly figuring out ways to help her navigate our increasingly loud world but in that one moment, my sweet, brave girl had never made me prouder.
How is it possible to feel anger towards someone you (probably) love more than anything in the world?
When my kids make me angry, that feeling weighs on me more than any of the acts they did to actually get me to that point. So, how do you navigate this feeling when you are already so aware of your own emotions?
Understanding My Anger
I wish there was a moment in my life that would be the “cause” for me ever getting angry at my kids. But the truth is… there isn’t.
I get angry with my kids because I have a heart that beats and a brain that (luckily) functions. I have a body that gets exhausted from sleepless nights and endless chores. I get bored from the lack of adult interaction. There is a point when I just can’t bear changing another doll’s outfit. Or a baby diaper. Or making 7 meals a day.
And so, getting angry with my kids encompasses a daily ritual that sometimes is just Too. Freaking. Boring.
And let’s not confuse boring with “doing nothing.” You can do one thousand things per minute in your day and still feel drained. It doesn’t mean that it’s always boring. Not even that you’d like to be living differently. It simply means that right there, at the moment, you lack something.
What are you lacking in your own life that makes you angry at your kids from time to time?
For me, what I’m usually lacking is a combination of free time plus feeling guilty. Mom-guilt is my number #1 “issue” in my motherhood journey.
I have always been a “free-spirited” person. I would go out to eat at 11 p.m. at night if I wanted to, sometimes I would wake up early on a Saturday morning, pack a bag and start driving until I end up somewhere cool.
My husband and I had dates weekly, I was always surrounded by friends, life was loud and agitated.
The main thing I missed (and miss) is freedom. The freedom to just get up and leave. To grocery shop in peace. Heck, to use the bathroom in peace!
Once you become a mom, those things are gone for a while. And I’m still in the “while”.
And so, I’ve been slowly finding out what works for me.
1. I feel my anger. Give me a good 5 minutes to just be angry (away from the kids) and not try to simply “snap out of it”.
2. I validate my emotions. Taking a few seconds to really think “I am angry because this sucks” or “I am angry because I have just mopped and they threw crackers all over the floor again” and “I am angry because they didn’t sleep all night and now still refuse to nap” or “I am angry because I miss going out alone.” Those are very real reasons that a human being would get angry about.
3. I try not to trap myself into the “guilt” spiral. Things like, “There are moms with kids in the hospital and here I am angry at them for coloring on the walls” are not valid. True, it’s always good to acknowledge your blessings of having healthy, happy kids and a family to care for. But saying things like that invalidate your feelings and, therefore, you don’t work through them. You have a right to feel your emotions.
4. Do not act in anger. I don’t mean to sound cheesy, but this needs to be said. And that’s for everything, especially when it’s about your kids. I am sure you know this, but kids aren’t born malicious or manipulative. They are learning how to navigate through their own little feelings and it’s as hard for them as it is for you, if not more. It’s true, they do not understand WHY they can’t ask the same questions 300 times within a minute even after you’ve told them the answer.
So, for me, I take a beat. If I feel angry, I will step away and let myself feel angry. Cry if I have to. Scream if I need to. I will then come to them and explain, looking in their eyes, why I am angry. And crazy enough, they understand!
Just a few days ago, my almost 3-years-old girl and I had a bad day together. A combination of a bad night, no nap, and pouring rain lead to a difficult day to manage for us.
When my husband got home from work, he saw that we were just not in sync, so, he took her into her room, sat with her, and told her she could cry, scream, whatever she wanted. She was in there with him for a good 15 minutes just crying. And then…silence.
They both came out and she ran to me, and said: “I’m really sorry mommy, I’m ready to sleep now”.
While they were in the room and she was having a meltdown, I was out in the living room having a meltdown of my own. I cried and cried and just felt that anger. So by the time she was hugging me, I was squeezing her back saying “I’m sorry too, mommy is just super tired”.
You see…the both of us didn’t have a good day. It’s easy for me to forget that the tiny human yelling at me isn’t doing that to just make me angry and, while I’m having such a hard time myself, my almost 3-year-old little girl was getting pretty irritated with me too.
But in order for me to comprehend that, I had to first acknowledge, validate and allow my feelings to pour…so that I could let them go.
I'm a stay-at-home mom to two toddlers, ages 3 and 1. Also a wife, a homemaker, business owner, and the heart behind the motherhood blog "Love, mamãe". My goal? To help mothers survive the toddler years with joy, grace, and sanity!
Like the rest of the holiday sets, it will launch October 1 and it features tons of fun details. From the cozy table where the whole family enjoys a meal by candlelight, to Santa’s chair with milk and cookies by the fire, this set will definitely get you and your family in the Christmas spirit. Although it’s meant for adult builders, your kids will have a blast setting the scenes once it’s complete.
If you’re looking for something a bit smaller, you’ll have a hard time choosing between these cute kits. The Polar Bear & Gift Pack ($9.99) is great for kids seven and up and comes with 142 pieces.
Mini builders will love constructing the adorable polar bear that comes with a scarf, gift box with movable ribbons and cute “with love to” sticker. Did we mention these make the perfect ornaments?
The LEGO Christmas Penguin ($14.99) is also bringing whimsy, with the ability to rotate, move its wings and stand next to a Christmas tree and three presents.
The penguin set is perfect for kids eight and older and comes with 244 pieces. Both sets will launch on Oct. 1 at LEGO.com and at LEGO stores.
Good news and bad news. Bad news: Your sleep quality takes a dramatic dive once you become a parent. Good news: There are a lot of other parents out there who can sympathize. New data from SWNS drives that point home and shows that more than half the moms and dads surveyed would even consider hiring a babysitter to take over the bedtime routine.
If you have a hard time falling asleep at night, sneak a nap during the day or struggle to get your kids down, you’re not alone! The survey of 2,000 American parents of kids 18 and under found that our lovely offspring are the main reason for sleep deprivation. Forty-six percent of respondents said kids are the main reason they can never fall, or stay, asleep. Almost three-quarters (72%) said they’ll go for a daytime nap when possible. And almost half (44%) don’t drift off to dreamland easily once it’s finally time for bed.
While the average kid bedtime is a reasonable window between 8-9 p.m., we all know it’s not easy getting there. One-third of parents said putting their kids to bed is the biggest sleep routine challenge. Babysitters are traditionally reserved for date nights, but more than half of parents said they’d consider hiring one just to handle bedtime. An unlikely, but admittedly appealing-sounding arrangement some nights.
Mattress company Sealy commissioned the study, which was conducted by OnePoll. Tired parents also reported falling asleep everywhere from the kitchen table to the salon chair. But there’s more good news: It doesn’t last forever (thanks, teenagers). In the meantime, can we recommend a coffee subscription?
The other night I was watching one of my favorite shows, New Girl. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a hilarious show about four roommates living life as a family unit in California. In this particular episode, one of the roommates is cooking buttered bacon on the stove. An argument occurs, and he turns his back on the sizzling meat for a minute. Before the close pals know it, a grease fire starts. Chaos breaks out and one of them, thinking it will help, sprays water on the flames. That, of course, only makes things worse.
Have you ever wondered why you can’t put a grease fire out with water? The reason you can’t is that oil and water don’t mix. When water hits the grease, it causes the grease to splatter, which causes the fire to spread rapidly.
The picture of an unexpected, explosive grease fire is how I feel about parenting sometimes. I always mean well, but it doesn’t always end well. Unfortunately, my watery methods don’t always mix with my children’s sometimes oily troubles.
It reminds me of a time I was working as a Family Director at a local preschool. I opened the school at 6:30 a.m. every morning, and my children came with me. Although I worked at the preschool, my children didn’t attend this school during the day, so the bus would pick them up and take them to their public school every morning. On this particular morning, my then-seven-year-old child refused to get on the bus, and I was very frustrated. We were causing a scene in front of parents, students, and staff. I thought for sure that if I demanded and yelled that she gets on the bus, she would. Tough love, right? Wrong. It was an unexpected, explosive grease fire moment.
Amidst parents dropping their kids off at the preschool, she was crying, shouting, and stomping her feet. I was pointing at the door and was yelling for her to leave. All I kept wondering was why she wasn’t listening. I couldn’t help but feel I was a failure as a mom, and if I was a failure as a mom, I was certainly a failure as the school’s family director! Ugh. We didn’t know at that moment, but we both felt lost, embarrassed, and hurt at the same time.
Kids are resilient, and thankfully an explosive moment or fiery disagreement doesn’t mean you have ruined your children or that you’re a failure as a parent. However, after many moments like this one, I was wondering what I was doing wrong.
It wasn’t long after that a friend suggested we see a therapist. Although worry and shame filled my mind, we eventually took the advice. Guess what? It turned out my daughter wasn’t trying to spite me when she was acting up, and she wasn’t trying to cause trouble every day. After several sessions and evaluations, she was diagnosed with anxiety. (Insert mom guilt here!)
I have seen kids struggle with their mental health throughout my life, from siblings and students to my children. Each experience was unique, but there is something in common with every situation—the children always looked to adults to be the calming voice in their chaos. They are looking to caregivers to smother their fire, not increase the flames.
Laura Guarino-Youngfleisch MA, LMHC, is the clinical manager of children’s outreach health services at SalusCare, Inc. In an article, she said, “Every child deserves to be healthy both physically and mentally. You can help any child you know by ensuring that he or she gets the necessary services simply by noticing there is a problem and advocating on the child’s behalf.”
Parents—you, yes you, are your child’s most prominent advocate and best protector. So if there is more chaos than calm, and if you are having a hard time smothering fires, it’s time to reach for outside help. Help comes in all different ways. It can be a phone call to a trusted friend, an appointment with the school counselor, or a call to a professional therapist.
I know your palms may be sweating, and you may have a knot in your stomach at the thought of reaching out for help. You’d probably rather be watching New Girl than picking up the phone and make a call. Trust me, I’ve been there, but help is ok. It’s more than ok. It’s a gift to you and your child. As I learned through trial and error, outside help is the fire extinguisher solution.
Jamie is married to her high school sweetheart and has three beautiful daughters. Through years of experience working with children, and raising her own, she knows how difficult parenting can be. She is an advocate for children's mental health and is best known for her creativity, optimism, and kind heart.
I think back to how we got here and how great Cody is doing and it’s hard to remember the really hard times. The passage of time lessens that pain and for that I am grateful. I do remember for so long I just got up day after day putting one foot in front of the other just doing but not really understanding where we were going or if it truly will get better. Just in survival mode really.
As I sit here thinking how far we’ve all come and how we’re all still together loving each other and still learning from one another I am grateful. I used to pray every night the same prayer to simply make everything better—to simply make my son better. I was bartering with God that I would give absolutely anything to help my son money, health, my life—anything! I would scream this over and over.
Instead, I was given insight, patience, wisdom and perception of better understanding. I now know that’s what I should have been praying for all along.
I am grateful for so many things.
I am grateful I haven’t lost my mind.
I am grateful I learned how to connect with my son.
I am grateful I now know this different life can be amazing and I’m in no way saying it’s easy but whose life is easy anyway?
I guarantee every single person has that “something”—their own struggle. I count my blessings every night when I’m struggling with anything whether it’s a thought or circumstance—still I count them. If I went back in time and could have looked into my future I don’t think I would have believed how far I would come or how far Cody would come. I was sure I wouldn’t make it but I have. We all have.
Our family has been through so much in this journey and if you’re living this you completely understand. Learning how to navigate the world when things are different and learning what to be grateful for. Cody is now able to tolerate shopping and even window shopping. I remember when he was little the screaming—the tantrums—the floppy drops—the running and just how exhausting it was and how every single time we went out it was the same as the time before, never seeming to get any better.
I’m telling you it can change and it has changed. But I am also telling you it has not been by accident this has happened or by some miracle. It has simply been for the sheer fact that we have worked so very hard to achieve these things. Think of it this way: If you were never taught how to act or practiced better behavior or given the tools when you needed them where would you be? We all need tools and coping strategies and to be taught how to navigate the world and simply to be great examples. Study and learn and be that great example and figure out how best to relate to others that perceive the world differently. Try to see from a different view and maybe just maybe you’ll have a better understanding. Most of all love all no matter what differences and be grateful we can learn from one another.
I am a parent to a son who is diagnosed with nonverbal severe autism with ID. I share our journey on facebook Cody Speaks. Cody has come farther than we were ever told. We were told to institutionalize him he would never learn. He learns every day and speaks.
Does this sound familiar? Your child comes home upset and reports that their friend did or said something mean. After hearing the story, you are convinced that indeed there was malicious intent, and the friend is to blame. A few days later, your child’s friendship returns to normal. But you are still stewing and have a hard time seeing your child’s friend in a positive light.
In social situations like these, our minds generate a variety of explanations for the behavior of others. Some of these explanations give someone the benefit of the doubt. Others assign blame, judge, and even attack their character. In the situation described above, we only heard one perspective, yet we assigned blame and assumed the friend’s bad intention.
This sort of thing happens all the time. Humans tend to jump to conclusions so we can make better sense of our world. Psychologists refer to this as our “attribution style.” Some people tend to give others the benefit of the doubt (benign attribution style), while other people tend to blame and assume bad intent (hostile attribution style).
Which attribution style has more positive relationships and overall happiness? (The tendency to blame or the tendency to give others the benefit of the doubt?)
Our attribution style is not set in stone. If we tend to have a hostile attribution style, we can change the way we think. This effort will positively impact our kids as they see us giving them and others the benefit of the doubt before jumping to negative conclusions.
As parents, it’s important to help our kids navigate difficult emotions and situations. In these instances, we can make sure our kids feel heard and validate their feelings. Then, we can help them see the bigger picture. Maybe their friend is having a difficult time, maybe the behavior was not intentional, and that there is likely more to the story.
When we emerge from the COVID-19 pandemic, life will no doubt be challenging. People are dealing with unprecedented changes in their lives, such as the loss of jobs, loved ones, routine, and connection with others. Life is steeped in uncertainty and fear. Now is a perfect time to practice a benign attribution style. Give others the benefit of the doubt. Avoid assumptions. Focus on the good. The world needs this right now, and so do our kids.
Jessica Speer is the author of BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? Girls Guide to Happy Friendships. Combining humor, the voices of kids, and research-based explanations, Jessica unpacks topics in ways that connect with tweens and teens. She’s the mother of two and has a Master’s Degree in Social Sciences.
Social media is like riding a bike—just make sure you give your child a helmet, knee pads, training wheels, and a whole lot of instruction.
I’ve researched the dangers of social media, including conducting a study on recruitment into sex trafficking through social media. Yes, social media can be very dangerous—particularly with little supervision. So, most are surprised when I allow my children, at age 10 and 11 to use social media instead of waiting for the more accepted age of 13. Before getting all judgy, hear me out.
When the magic age of 13 hits, there is a lot that is going on with your child. Developmentally this is the age when children seek independence, crave having their own space, rely on friendships over family, value privacy and may even dabble in rebellious behaviors. This happens whether we want it or not—they are hardwired for this—it is part of their natural development.
If social media is introduced during this time, parents may have a hard time monitoring, exploring together and many children will attempt to push boundaries. In contrast, my 10 and 11-year-old still find me tolerable, and even (dare I say), cool on some days. They still feel close to the family, eagerly share about their school days, and have a healthy fear of the world. I know that in a couple of short years, that could all change and I may miss my opportunity to lay down some critical groundwork in their ability to safely navigate social media.
So, to their surprise and excitement, we embarked on the ride of social media together—equipped with training wheels, knee pads, a helmet, and strict instructions on where and when to ride the bike. We started off slow, I instructed them along the way, I was there to caution them, I let them have some independence, we processed any mistakes they made, they were aware of the dangers and trusted me to guide them. We also have a lot of fun—I have my own Tik Tok account, we watch together, I try to dance, they are embarrassed by my comments, I learn about their friends, and I have valuable insight into their life. They also know the stakes—any purposeful wrong move and the bike goes in storage.
I know that by the time they are 13, when I ever so slowly let my hand off the back of the bike seat, they are equipped with the knowledge to steer independently. While I will always make them wear the helmets of parental control, time limits, and privacy settings, I will take off the training wheels and knee pads and trust that the practice we have had will keep them safe.
So, if you get a disapproving glance or are questioned “Your kids are on Tik Tok?” just say “Sure, it’s just like riding a bike.”
Hello! I am a mom to three children, ages 11,12, and 20 and happily married to an awesome guy! Professionally, I am a psychologist and Life Coach, and founder of Brave Embrace, a practice focusing on female empowerment. We are a sports-oriented family and enjoy learning, growing, and laughing through every opportunity!
Week 40, Day 6 (Morning):
I feel SO huge and I’m so over being pregnant. I’ve been on maternity leave for two weeks, and I assumed by this point I’d be cuddling my baby. Instead, I’m lugging around a fully formed human in my body and I’m having a hard time getting comfortable.
Week 40, Day 6 (Afternoon):
I go to visit my OBGYN in the hopes that she will take one look at me and proclaim “THIS WOMAN IS IN ACTIVE LABOR!” Instead, it’s a routine appointment where she tells me that I’m showing no signs of labor.
BUT THEN, EXCITEMENT! She tells me that she is going to call the hospital to schedule my induction for tomorrow!
Week 41, Day 1 (8:00 AM):
My husband Brendan and I arrive at the hospital and are shown to our room. A Labor and Delivery (L&D) nurse enters to get me set up and check my cervix for signs of dilation. If you’d never had your cervix checked, this is what happens:
1. With gloved hands a medical professional sticks two fingers into your vagina.
2. They get their fingers all the way up and back until they feel your cervix.
3. They check to see if your cervix is opened (or dilated) and do a measurement in centimeters on how open it is. Your cervix needs to go from ZERO to TEN centimeters wide in order for a baby to fit through.
The L&D nurse tells me to put the bottom of my feet together to make a froggy pose while she checks my cervix.
She tells me that I’m at maybe half a centimeter dilated. Then she gives me my first dose of misoprostol, a pill that will slowly make my cervix dilate and induce my labor (hopefully.)
Week 41, Day 1 (2:00 PM):
My L&D nurse comes to check my cervix again and give me a second dose of misoprostol or “miso” as they call it. I am hopeful that my cervix is cooperating but I am still at a half centimeter dilated. She tells me that her shift is ending and introduces me to my new nurse.
This nurse is a lot older and definitely more seasoned.
One of the first things my new nurse says to me is this:
“When the time comes, you need to push. You need to push, push, push! So many people go through all of this dilating, they get all the way to ten, and then they can’t push. You need to push!”
I stare at her intently and swear to her that I will push when I am dilated to ten.
Week 41, Day 2 (2:00 AM):
We’ve been at the hospital all day and into the night, and very little has happened.
Two L&D nurses come in to give me another dose of miso and to check my cervix. One of the nurses is training and is obviously nervous. She goes ahead and starts to check my cervix. I can feel her fingers shaking inside me.
While she is in there, she looks at her colleague and hesitantly says, “um…four?” to which I bolt up in total excitement.
Her trainer looks at her in disbelief and asks nicely, “Are you sure?” Then she checks my cervix. Turns out I’m still at one.
Week 41, Day 2 (8:00 AM):
A new, really great nurse comes in. Her name is Chris and she is definitely my favorite nurse! I’m now dilated to two!
Week 41, Day 2 (12:00 PM):
As I walk to the bathroom something falls out of me. It looks like a jellyfish blob. Chris is with me and she says, “Looks like you lost your mucus plug!” and then grab a paper towel and picks it up. I think about how grateful I am that people are willing to do this job.
Week 41, Day 2 (3:00 PM):
I am now dilated to four centimeters, and things are heating up. I’m starting to get cramps that feel like a really bad period. The nurses ask me what my pain management preferences are, and I say I prefer to not feel any pain! They call for the anesthesiologist to put in my epidural.
Week 41, Day 2 (9:00 PM):
Things are getting real. Here’s what’s happening:
I am dilated near ten.
To help speed everything along, the team has given me pitocin, and it makes me vomit. A lot.
The intense older drill sergeant nurse is back! She gives me a look as if to say “Remember your training, do not disappoint me.”
My OBGYN is having dinner at home with her family. What?!
Week 41, Day 2 (9:15 PM):
The nurses all agree that it’s time for me to start pushing. They are calling the doctor who is on her way.
The drill sergeant nurse takes over. She instructs Brendan to help me hold my knees back towards my ears.
The drill sergeant waits until my next contraction comes and tells me to hold my breath and push. They count to ten while I push and feel like my head is about to explode from the pressure.
Finally, my OBGYN comes running into the room.
Week 41, Day 2 (9:15 PM):
The doctor takes one look and says, “Oh! Hi baby! We can see the top of your head!”
The OBGYN tells me when my next contraction is and I push hard again. Each push is the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done, and I vomit after each one. But I hold my breath and bear down as they count each time.
I do one last, hard push and I feel the doctor pull what feels like a massive thing out of my body.
That thing is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. My son is born!
Week 41, Day 2 (9:20 PM):
Amazingly I stop throwing up and suddenly feel 100% better. As I hold my little goo-covered miracle I am filled with a sense of accomplishment. The waiting was worth it!
