Busy, much? Moms have a knack for putting their own needs on the backburner when managing everyone else’s wellbeing. Good news: All it takes is one minute and one tablet to help nourish your body and get the day started off on the right foot. (Sure, you may not be able to find a matching pair of socks or your car keys… but we can’t win ‘em all.) Founded by women in Santa Cruz 40 years ago, Rainbow Light is a trusted brand of multivitamins (and more) for the whole family. But back to you, mama…
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Fill Nutritional Gaps
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*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
The back-to-school season is an exciting time for families as they gear up for the huge transition ahead. A new academic year may mean new teachers and new friends for most children, even new schools for some. While starting on a clean slate can be refreshing, the high level of unknowns and changes in routine can cause anxiety in some kids.
That’s why it’s good to plan a mix of fun and purposeful back-to-school activities to better prepare our children for the school year ahead. Check out these creative activities inspired by the Oddbods show that you can do with your child and the whole family. Let’s do this!
Fun-Tastical Back-to-School Activities
1. Shop for New School Supplies
Get your child excited by stocking up with some new, inexpensive stationery. We’re particularly partial to this Oddbods Creativity Kit. No matter your budget, giving your child new-to-them school supplies can help them look forward to returning to class. As much as possible, let them make their own choices so they can feel a greater sense of self and autonomy.
Pro Tip:If you have multiple children, let them hold their own shopping baskets and have the items bagged separately during check out. This saves you the effort of sorting out the purchases for each child once you get back home.
2. Order Cute Name Stickers & Get Labelling
It’s not uncommon for children’s stationery to get lost or accidentally traded among students. Name labels can help. There are many online name sticker services offering a wide variety of designs to choose from. Once they’ve arrived, sit down with your child and let them enjoy pasting stickers on their belongings.
3. Assemble a Homework Caddy
Assemble a homework caddy with coveted stationery for your child to look forward to using after school. Becky from Clean Mama assembles adorable but super functional homework caddies for her children every back-to-school season. It’s a great idea to adopt because it helps to organise stationery in your home and injects colour into the dreaded routine of completing homework after school. When shopping for back-to-school supplies, pick out some fancier stationery for communal use among your kids.
4. Tidy Up Together
We’re being cheeky calling this “fun”, but tidying up the mudroom or coat and shoe racks ahead of the back to school season can help to reduce chaos in your home once school has started. Declutter footwear and jackets that your kids have outgrown and craft some fun, decorative touches with your child to display. Involving your child can help them feel proud of contributing to the family.
5. Plan Extra-Special after-School Snacks for the First Few Weeks of School
Make snack time family time. While you have the luxury of the summer break, why not plan some extra special after school snacks for the first few weeks of school to help your child look forward to them? Whether it’s baking cookies or freezing fruit popsicles in advance, it’s a great opportunity to bond with your child before school routines take over your days.
If your kid is running off for after-school activity, the best time for them to snack is 30 minutes before their activity. This leaves enough time for digestion and the fuels from the snack to start working.
7. Make New Morning Routine Charts
Morning routines are chaotic, so get your kids’ help by training them to be independent when getting ready for school with their school gear, like their backpack, in advance and perhaps, boost their mood with their choice of back-to-school essentials.
As your child grows older, they develop more executive functions which help them pay attention, remember instructions and multitask better. Based on the new skills they’ve acquired, design new morning routine charts where they increasingly become more independent in getting ready for school. As a bonus, customise the routine charts with your child’s favourite themes.
8. Read Books about the First Day of School
After spending their summer break at home, young children especially can feel separation anxiety in school. You can help to mentally prepare them for what to expect by reading books about going to a new school or returning to school. Let them know that fear and anxiety are normal feelings and that you trust your child is capable of acting in spite of them.
Check out these three popular titles among parents!
9. Rehearse Drop-Offs & Pick-Ups
Talk to your child about how your family will be doing drop-offs and pick-ups once school starts. Drop by the school compound, rehearse the journey to and from school and show them where you’ll be sending them off and picking them up. Letting them know what to expect and giving them plenty of calm assurances can help to reduce their jitters about the coming school year.
Make this year’s back-to-school season extra joyful by trying out the suggestions above. Whether your child is filled with excitement or dread, embrace their feelings and support them through their journey so that they can succeed. Every child is different and each deserves to grow well over the upcoming school term. Parents, you got this!
Oddbods is more than an animation. We empower parents to transmit the Oddbods values to their children, supporting healthy development and growth. We're a non-dialogue, cartoon comedy series featuring seven unique and relatable characters who bring individual personalities to life; it builds friendships and encourages young children to celebrate individuality.
From easing first-day-jitters to making sure the kids get on the school routine to morning shortcuts and more, we’ve asked our network of 20 million parents what they do to make the transition into the new school year a success. With school around the corner, you’ll want to keep scrolling to get prepped for the coming year.
"I keep a "mobile unit" in the back of my car. Essentially, it's filled with literally ANYTHING we could possibly need so we can dash out in a moment's notice. If we are running late for school, I can grab from these bins in the parking lot. Items in the back include everything from an extra pair of shoes, a change of clothes, a thin jacket or sweatshirt, snacks, etc (for each kid). There are even extra bags so if they forget their backpack I can stuff a tote bag with the change of clothes they are required to bring, some shoes, etc." –Meghan M.
"I try to take each of my three kids shopping for school supplies on their own (even though I'd rather just bulk order everything from Amazon). They wear uniforms to school so this is their one opportunity to show a little personal style." –Kate L.
"Shop online to avoid crowds. Kids can pick fun stuff that stores might not carry (cool designs for pencils, folders, notebooks, etc.). Plan out the first week of lunches/snacks. Check Pinterest for simple kid lunch ideas and easy dinner recipes. About 3 weeks before 1st day back, have the kids' body clocks re-charge by having them get to bed earlier - yes, even if they know that other kids are outside at 8:30-9." –Margaret B.
"We just started working on a bridge book between grades ... Not difficult and kind of fun activities, but it gets them going again on writing, math and science concepts they learned during the year and maybe a little that is new and coming up this year." –Emma T.
"I bought each kid an alarm clock so they can set it and learn time management and be responsible for waking themselves up. Start the morning routine a week before school, so their body clock acclimates to getting up early. It also helps a ton to pick out outfits the night before- especially for tween girls!" –Beth S.
"I start the early bedtime routine like a week ahead of time. We also try to have a super fun week before school starts, to 'get summer out of our system.'" –Gabby C.
"[We use a visual countdown clock.] You set it, and it helps kids see the passing of time, as well when they are running out of it. (easier to grasp than "you have 5 more minutes, and also, I guess helps with some autonomy—it's your time, budget wisely.) It's also a little like a game—beat the clock. You get to choose a picture to reveal, and glitter explosions happen when time is up." –Mimi O.
"Studies show younger children do better with [an] early start. It will be [an] adjustment but start 5 days ahead, getting ready for bed and doing bedtime routine." –Rhodora S.
"New clothes help first day jitters, coffee and wine help with the rest. Pro Tip: empty the backpack EVERY day!! –Laura P.
"To quell our son's anxiety about back to school in general and a new school specifically, we planned a trip that goes up until a couple days before school starts. We'll do our BTS shopping before we go. When he started Kindergarten, we met the teacher a couple days before, and she gave him this little bag that had glitter stars and other such things. She said, "I know you will be a star at the school, so put this under your pillow the night before your first day and all your wishes will come true." –Amber G.
"On the first day of school, I always pack a fun shareable dessert in my kids’ lunchboxes. Something I wouldn’t normally pack like a tube of mini M&Ms, a small package of cookies or a box of Red Vines. The dessert acts like an “icebreaker” of sorts … my kids can share it with old friends and new friends, and it makes their new lunch routine a lot easier. –Kristina M.
Start a fun back to school tradition, like the First Day Fairy. –Red Tricycle
Want to be more productive? You might want to consider becoming a morning person. We asked a handful of entrepreneurial San Francisco Bay Area mothers to share what they do to launch into a successful day (or week), and yup, getting up early was on the list for these organized moms. Here are 10 tasks these boss mamas check off their to-do list before 10 a.m.
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Get the kids on board.
When Erin Wallace's children were 7 and 9, she started teaching them to pack their own lunches each morning, so she had time to prepare for work. "I made sure there were some easy-to-grab basics like baby carrots, chips and fruit, but otherwise left them to pack what they wanted," says Wallace, brand director at thredUP. "Instead of micromanaging their efforts, I let them know there were occasional surprise inspections, and that I needed their lunches to be reasonably healthy and well-balanced. If they passed inspections, they were eligible for 'nutrition-free Friday,' when I promised to look the other way, and they packed themselves whatever they wanted." Wallace said she was surprised how motivated her kids were by this task and found their Friday lunches were funnier than they were unhealthy: dry cereal to Nutella sandwiches and stale Halloween candy.
Workout a window
"Once a week on Fridays, my husband takes my daughter to school, and I do a quick at-home workout in the time that it normally takes me to drop her off at school," says Connie Wong, president and founder of Moderne Press public relations. "This lets me get a cardio workout—albeit short—in at least once a week."
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Make the most of every moment.
Stylist and editorCat Dash is used to being on the go. So, when she's tied down nursing her newborn daughter Coco each morning, she makes the most of her downtime by listening to an audiobook. "So I feel like I'm doing something productive," says Dash. Having an electric kettle on hand also makes it easier for her to heat a quick cup of tea, which always feels like an indulgence in those early baby stages.
Set an alarm for me time.
Lisa Jackson, co-owner of Morningtide shop in Albany wakes up 15 minutes before her boys are out of bed. "I can wash my face, get dressed and take care of myself before taking care of the kids," says Jackson.
Jackson's morning self-care routine also includes drinking a big glass of water. "It's always been a habit of mine since I was a kid—my mom made me do this every morning—and I feel like it wakes my body and mind up." Jackson also makes breakfast a priority. "I like to make a giant green or fruit smoothie. Many times I will make extra French toast, pancakes, or waffles and freeze them so it's super easy to heat up on a school morning," she says. "Sometimes I'll have the kids add fruit or something so they feel like they helped make their own breakfast."
Skip the guilt trip
Kelsey Schmidt, director of marketing and partnerships for Elise Green, starts her morning routine every night before she goes to bed. "After the baby goes to sleep, I make his bottles and get anything he needs to be organized for the next day," she says. But she also accepts help, without feeling guilty. "Our daycare opens at 6:30 a.m. and most days I'm waiting there at 6:20 to drop him off. That way I can get the rest of my morning sorted out without the distractions of a little human."
Catherine Weis, founder of the gifting company Bestowe makes a list with three columns every Monday morning. "Column one has the easy-to-do tasks that I know I need to do. Column two has the bigger tasks. Column three is the day of the week," she says. "In column three, I take one big task and place it there and fill in the smaller tasks everywhere else. It's like taking big stones and putting them in a jar and filling up the rest with pebbles."
An organized kid equals an organized mom.
But Weis isn't the only list maker in the household. On Monday mornings once her weekly list is set, she sits down with her son to help him create one of his own. "We make a list for things that he can do to help out the family, house, himself," says Weis. "This is usually daily and tends to coincide with what he has to do that day: if it's school, we talk about when he wants to shower, read, etc. so that we can all manage expectations."
Etienne Fang is a researcher, and creator of Having It All, a project that shares the beautiful diversity of what "having it all" means to women around the world. "After I wake up, I do a 10-minute meditation before the day gets started," she says. "I have a whole ritual around it. I bring out my meditation cushion into the living room, light a giant Le Labo candle, and turn on meditation on Headspace. When I am done, I feel less anxious about the day ahead. And my home smells lovely from the candle."
Get to ground zero
What's next on Fang's morning checklist? The dishwasher. "The simple act of putting clean dishes away in their place is my equivalent of starting with a blank canvas for the day," she says. "If I have to come home after work to a full dishwasher and a sink full of dishes, I would not be able to quickly prepare dinner and shield the onslaught of hangry kids coming home from a long day at school."
Sadly, the carefree days of summer have come and gone and it’s time for many families to head back to school. The transition from the less structured routine of summer to the school year is hard on everyone. To help get your little scholar started off on the right foot, here are some key strategies to help your kids focus and set them up for a successful new year!
Start off on the right foot.
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Mornings are often the most hectic and scattered parts of the day. It's hard for adults to stay focused, on task and get out the door in time, so it's no shock it's one of the hardest parts of the day for many kids. In the morning, try to allow for extra time. Sure, that extra 10 minutes of sleep sounds amazing, but so is a (relatively) calm start to the day. Establish a morning routine and help your child stick to it. Especially for younger children, it's often hard to stay focused on the ten things they have to do to get out the door, so make a clear plan. Many families find that actually hanging up a morning routine helps as a reminder and maybe you won't even have to yell "Put on your shoes!" ten times as you're rushing out the door.
Brain Food!
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Start with the basics. There's a reason they say "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Kickstarting the day with some healthy brain food allows for a better start. Greek Yogurt, Eggs and fruit like apples and blueberries are awesome places to start. But equipping your child with lunch and small bites that include brain foods such as healthy nuts and cheese can help keep your child's focus up during the day.
Have reasonable expectations.
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Set aside an age-appropriate amount of time for your child to practice focusing on a specific task, remembering that personal interest in a topic or project is usually the most important motivator for paying attention. Working alone, a preschooler may spend two to three minutes on a task chosen by an adult—like getting dressed or picking up toys. By five years old, most children can ignore minor distractions. Alone, they will focus on a single interesting activity for 10 or 15 minutes and on an assigned task for four to six minutes if it’s easy and interesting. Take a deep breath and remember that that little cerebral cortex is still forming!
While it's easy to feel that the first thing a child should do after they get home is their homework, many children actually benefit from a break before jumping into more structured activity. After concentrating all day at school and being in a structured environment, a little downtime can help your child's brain take a much-needed break before jumping into the next task, ensuring less frustration and meltdowns along the way.
It's a good idea to have a go-to homework spot and routine free of distractions and always start with more of that brain food! If your child works best around people, set up a homework nook in the dining room, kitchen, or living room. If siblings are distracting to each other, have them work in separate rooms. Wherever the workspace, make sure the desk and chair consider your child’s size: her feet shouldn’t dangle off the floor, and elbows should be able to rest on the table without hunching.
Your child’s workspace doesn’t need to worthy of a magazine spread, but you can certainly encourage her to put things away after finishing her assignments and keep the area in order. Develop a system with folders, binders, or plastic bins that works for your family—projects will be less likely to get lost in the shuffle, and the area will be a blank canvas the next time she sits down to work.
Having a clear-cut list of goals is useful for all children. Sometimes, it’s not that a child can't focus, it's that they're struggling with what to focus on. Before tackling an assignment or study session create a list of goals. Having clear directives helps settle a child's mind and stay focused.
Staring down a worksheet swimming with math problems or taking on an entire subject chapter can be overwhelming for any child. It always helps to break it down into questions or paragraphs so that the child feels a sense of accomplishment. Working in smaller tasks helps combat the feeling of being overwhelmed and allows for a repeated self of accomplishment that will fuel your child's motivation to go on. This works not only on homework but also on household chores and other expectations around the home.
Especially as it applies to younger children age nine and below, homework does not need to be a source of perfection. Just the homework itself can be overwhelming for young kids, so try to resist the urge to nitpick over having all the homework perfectly written. In many earlier grades, teachers are even less concerned with issues such as misspelled words in a writing assignment so that the child can focus mainly on getting the ideas on paper. Praise yields more success than criticism and helps your child establish confidence for future projects.
As all parents know, growing kids have plenty of energy! And they need to spend it. Many schools now even schedule in movement breaks to help kids combat this with doing some jumping jacks, stretches or even mini-dance parties. You can adapt this idea at home as well. Work in small increments with breaks that encourage physical activity: a walk up the street (fresh air is a bonus!), or running up and down the stairs. Just be sure to time it accordingly and don't drag the break on for too long, reminding your child that she can go back outside after her assignment is complete.
Belly-breathing is an important skill for kids to have when they’re confronted with challenging tasks, which can make them anxious and trigger their natural "fight or flight" risk. Being overwhelmed and anxious leads to avoidance—the enemy of concentration. So having this simple tool in their toolbox can help them combat those feelings and get them back on track.
Practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness may be a hot buzzword lately, but really it just involves focusing your awareness and acknowledging your thoughts and feelings. Practicing mindfulness can be helpful to people of all ages. When your child is becoming distracted, have them take a five-minute break to sit quietly and take a moment to think about what is distracting them and how they can refocus themselves on the task at hand.
A well-rested mind is key to your child's ability to focus. Create a nightly routine that ensures plenty of hours to catch those zzz's. Check guidelines for how many hours of sleep per night a child needs, based on age, and schedule accordingly. That time of rest in helping the brain recharge for the next day ahead!
Model good focus.
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Children are observing us every moment of the day. If possible, sit next to your child while you do your own “homework.” Whether it’s an assignment from the office, reading a book, or sorting through bills, your child sees you quietly focusing on a task and will be encouraged to follow your example. Make an effort to restrict your own use of computers and phones during this time, showing your child that it helps to minimize distractions.
Everyone needs a break, especially an ever-developing child. Plan out something fun to do together with your child after they've finished the task at hand. Even though they're growing up fast, they still need time to have fun and be silly. And they still need a little quality time with you!
Days with a baby fly by at warp speed. There is also much more to do within the same 24 hours, and it all seems harder when you’re running on limited sleep. Regain lost time with these simple ways to add anywhere from 5 minutes to 5 hours back to your day. Yes, really!
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Track Items with Apps
If the average person spends 15 minutes a day searching for misplaced items like their keys, shoes or wallet, according to a recent survey, we’re pretty sure those suffering from mom brain spend at least twice that. There are simple life hacks to avoid these daily pitfalls, like keeping a spare set of keys pinned to your diaper bag, but a more modern approach uses clever tracking devices like Tile, TrackR or Chipolo. Attach Bluetooth-enabled devices to sneakers, keys, wallets and more so your phone can help you find them.
Put Down Your Cell Phone
The internet is like a bag of chips…a box of cookies…and a tub of ice cream. We consume it in small chunks, most of us not realizing how many little bites we’ve taken until we’ve lost hours of our day, according to a Nielsen study. In fact, studies show that most of us now spend more time on the internet than we spend watching TV. While the average American is on their mobile device about 4 hours every day, a small study suggests that new parents spend considerably more time than the average person on social media. If you’re spending your child’s nap time posting baby pics to Instagram and Facebook, you may want to consider a social media break so you can use baby’s nap time for your own naps! More on why sleep is important below.
Catch Some Zzz’s
If you feel like simple tasks take twice as long since you had a baby, you’re probably not wrong. Fatigue causes brain function to slow down, which means you are thinking and acting slower. The first three months postpartum are the toughest: Studies show you’ll get less sleep during this period than at any other point in your life. And a new, small study demonstrated that sleep deprivation can last up to six years post-birth. The old adage “Sleep when the baby sleeps” seems impossible, but if you carve out time for a nap, it not only helps you stay rested but will help you tackle your daily must-do list with efficiency.
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Become a Better Jetsetter
Pre-bambino, getting out of the house meant grabbing your keys, wallet and possibly a pair of shades. Now, a trip to the grocery store means packing a pint-size suitcase with diapers, wipes, bottles, snacks, a back-up outfit for blowouts and more. If you’ve gone from being punctual to perpetually late, try pre-packing your car (or stroller or diaper bag) with baby essentials. Turn your car into a mobile nursery unit by stocking multiple-compartment trunk organizers. Think beyond the diaper bag: Fill your organizer with the same must-have products you keep on hand in the house.
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Go Capsule with Your Clothing
Seventeen minutes. That’s how long it takes the average woman to pick out an outfit. Take the guesswork out of your morning routine by adopting a mom uniform and reclaim over a quarter of an hour every single day. A capsule wardrobe—first made popular in the 1970s—is a curated collection of clothing staples that work for your everyday life. These could be pieces that mix and match well or a collection of the same types of clothes you like to wear (think go-to t-shirts, yoga pants and sneakers). Everything goes together, so there’s less thinking or planning. Create your collection with these 10 capsule wardrobe ideas for a new mom.
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Smarten Up Your House Life is filled with interruptions. If you’re preparing dinner, the baby will inevitably cry for you. Feeding your little loves? Yup, someone is going to knock on the door. The problem with all of these daily little hiccups is that it’s hard to get back to the task you were originally focused on. And the worst interrupter in your day is not your recent family addition, it’s you! A recent study found that we “self-interrupt” every three minutes. Most of us call this multitasking, but switching from activity to activity while we are still, um, mid-activity can cause us to lose minutes or even hours each day. You can remove some of these distractions by putting them on autopilot through the magic of technology! Let the door answer itself with a video doorbell; get a robot vacuum to handle the dust and dirt; and invest in a programmable coffee maker or formula maker that lets you schedule when your next cup or bottle is ready.
Cut Haircare in Half
The average woman spends around 15 minutes blowdrying her hair. For a full wash, dry and style, it’s a whopping 40 minutes. Save almost an hour by skipping the shower and spraying on dry shampoo. If “dirty hair, don’t care” isn’t your thing, choose a hair dryer marketed as ionic or ceramic and invest in a blow dry accelerator spray, like AVEDA speed Of Light, both of which reduce the amount of time it takes to dry your mane.
It seems like every parent wants their kid to play a varsity sport. Parents put such a large focus on their children’s athletic talents and gifts—you are a great swimmer, you are good dribbler, and so on. Children start activities and sports way younger now than in previous generations and we applaud our children for their focus, specialization, and commitment from an early age, convinced these pieces are the foundations for their later success. Unfortunately, many of us relegate one of the most important characteristics, kindness, to the B-Team.
Here are four ways to influence your children to be the “Varsity Captain of Kindness.”
1. Establish a Better Morning Routine.
Set yourself and your family up for success in the morning. The beginning of the day sets the tone for every family member. Mornings can often be rushed, and important details may fall through the cracks. This stress can lead to family fights, which doesn’t do anyone any favors. Instead, gather as a family in the evening and work together to prep for the next day. Not only will it be a good bonding time, but it will save everyone from a stressful morning and give everyone the space to be kinder to each other.
2. Set Daily Kindness Goals.
It’s great to set family goals. Kindness can be a family and individual goal just like playing on a sports team. You can’t make varsity unless you practice every day and it’s great to remind your children of any age to be kind during their day.
Teach children at an early age to be kind or a “good sport” to the other teammates. This will help them develop into being a good sport for the rest of their life. You can also play “Spot the Giving Moment” where you recognize the opportunity to give to other children and adults. The giving moment, when practiced over and over, becomes second nature. These moments can become magical and more easily seen if the focus is put on children to look for them daily.
3. Surround Yourself With People That Want the Same Goal.
The exciting piece of being part of a team is that all the teammates are want to win the games. Every part of the individual’s practice, whether it is stretching, doing the drill over and over or staying for private coaching etc…will greatly impact the wins or losses for the season.
The beautiful part of life is that we are not alone. We can make conscious choices daily to have people in our lives with similar approaches to and goals of kindness. You can listen and look at how they interact and see if they are a person you want on your team or are, they going to not be committed and talk badly about their teammates? Look at the people currently on your team of life and see if they are going after the same goal of kindness.
4. End Your Day on a Kindness Note.
A kindness reminder at the end of the day will help to instill this virtue in your children. Consider buying—or better yet, making—cute posters or signs with reminders to be kind. Originally creating and then focusing on this visual before drifting off to dreamland will inspire your team players to strive to be the Captain of the Varsity Kindness team.
Let’s make kindness the varsity sport in our homes. Make a daily, conscious decision to devote practice hours to be more loving and kind players in the game of life. Not only can we earn our letterman jackets, but we can also all strive to be the captain!
Plank Books is founded by Jane and Katelyn. Jane, a former childhood star of the movie The Mighty Ducks, now has the opportunity and passion to bring joy again to a new generation of children through the Giving Adventures of Sam the Squirrel and other animal friends to come.
Just six short months ago it was unfathomable that we would be working from home while trying to juggle distance learning and taking care of babies. The reality of COVID-19 sticking around a lot longer than we thought is starting to set in for most people. I remember my naive, mid-March self thinking; by May 1st kids will be back in school and all will be right again in the world.
Prior to the global pandemic, I was a full-time mom and the sole full-time employee at Dreamland Baby. I was juggling four kids’ schedules but we had a really good routine and the kids were in school for 6 hours a day. My baby was still young enough that he was taking a super long day nap or would hang out next to me while I was working.
Fast forward six months and now I have a kindergartener, first grader and second grader who are all doing distance learning from home and a two and a half year old who literally does not stop talking. I’ve had to adjust, hire help and add a weekly “mom’s night off” to get me through. I want to share my top four sanity tips for working from home with kids.
Tip 1: Ask for help, hire help, just get help.
You guys, I was drowning. It was mid July where I hit my working-from-home mom rock bottom. While on the 10,000th Zoom call of that day, my 7 year old daughter walked in and was trying to ask me something. I was doing the hand wave to have her get out but she wasn’t listening. She kept talking and I kept waving. Realizing this wasn’t working I decided to shut off my Zoom camera and scream, at the top of my lungs, “GET OUT!” This wasn’t just any scream it was animalistic, like my throat actually hurt after. I immediately sat down, put a half smile on my face and put myself back on video. I saw a stunned group of faces and someone asked; everything OK over there? I hadn’t muted myself. I called a nanny agency and we hired someone the next week. Recognizing when you need help is critical.
Tip 2: Keep a morning routine.
This is something I swear by religiously. Prior to taking time to making this practice a core part of my day I would stay up late, then sleep in and be woken up by my children every morning. This sounds terrible but I use to dread hearing their voices in the morning while I was trying to get just 10 more minutes of sleep. My problem was always going to bed too late. I got on track by taking melatonin every night for two weeks until my body was use to going to bed at 10 p.m. I need a full 8 hours of sleep (my husband jokes my ideal sleep pattern is 10 hours) so knowing I couldn’t comprise on the number of hours I had to find a way to go to sleep earlier. Now I wake up, take 10 minutes to pray, write in my notebook the top three things that need to be accomplished that day and what I am grateful for, take a green shot, drink a glass of water then get a 30 minute work out in. My kids wake up right about this time and I am able to greet them, feeling happy and accomplished. We eat breakfast together then I shower and start my work day at 9 a.m. Having a morning routine sets the tone for my day, prioritize my goals, and dramatically increase work productivity.
Tip 3: Set work limits.
Being an entrepreneur (I am the Founder of Dreamland Baby) can lead to working endless hours. There was a time I use to work all day Saturday and Sunday but the burn out was real and finally had to cut back to just Monday-Friday. I am still guilty of working crazy hours during the week but trying to be better about setting and end time to my day and actually sticking with it.
I see this with my husband and my friends who traditionally worked in an office. You get in at 9 a.m. and you leave at 5 p.m. and you leave your work behind. Well now your work is inside your home. My husband’s work station is set up inside our bedroom. There are so many nights we are winding down and relaxing but instead of spending time with me he drifts back to his “office” to finish up one more email. It is tempting to keep going but ultimately you are doing more harm than good if you don’t take a break.
Tip 4: Don’t forget to be social.
Having a solid social life might feel like a thing of the past but if you put it as a priority and effort you can make it happen. I am naturally extroverted and love getting together with my girlfriends. When I have a few hours away from my home, laughing and connecting with friends I come back a better mom, wife and more productive in work. I live in California and we began shelter in place very early. I was basically inside my home from March to July. I was going a little (or a lot) stir crazy. I asked my husband if I could have one night off during the week that was a “me” night. I let all my girlfriends know and now we have a girl’s night out every Wednesday. We do things like walk the neighborhood, meet for dinner outdoors or just hang out in someone’s back yard and chat. If you aren’t in a place where you can meet in person, try a weekly zoom call with friends. It has been so nourishing for my soul and ultimately makes me such a better employee because I am shutting off my work brain and just having fun for a few hours every week.
Tara met Rob after a career move to the Bay Area; they’ve been married for almost 9 years and have 4 children. Tara worked for a number of medical startups before creating wearable weighted blankets for infants. Tara launched Dreamland Baby in 2019 and adoringly refers to it as her 5th baby!
Our series, Family Tales, is an honest peek into the daily lives of families across the country who are on this crazy ride we call parenthood! From divulging childcare costs to breaking down family finances to managing a virtual school year with multiple kids, we tap into the Red Tricycle army of parents to find out how they’re making it work. This series is a judgment-free zone.
Interested in telling your story? Start by filling out our questionnaire here. All stories are anonymous.
I’m Surprised How Well My Family Has Adapted to Distance Learning. Here’s Why We Prefer It.
Name and occupation: Kate Loweth, Bay Area Editor & Content and Calendar Manager at Red Tricycle My partner’s occupation: attorney City: Campbell, CA Grades my kids are in: daughter in 7th, son in 6th and son in 4th. They all go to the same private school. School set-up in 2020: Our school started everyone with distance learning as our county is still on the COVID watch list. Our family will be doing distance learning at least through the first trimester even if the school is approved for in-person learning. When in-person learning is approved for our school, the middle schoolers would go two days a week, home for three, and the elementary school kids would be there full time. We just felt that having three kids on two different schedules (plus the in-school mask-wearing and COVID precautions) made the distance learning option better for our family.
Well, the 2020-2021 school year is underway without the usual fanfare. I didn’t get my annual excited-mom-dropping-kids-off-on-the-first-day photo this year because there was no drop off. Thanks, COVID. We’re back to distance learning again and I’ve definitely learned a lot from last year. Honestly, distance learning wasn’t that bad for us last school year so I didn’t dread it like many parents do. Yes, I consider myself very lucky in that regard. Our school did a great job pulling everything together quickly and with older kids I don’t have to spend my days teaching and entertaining them while also trying to hold down my full-time job. Yes, again I know I’m lucky that my kids are older and more self-sufficient.
My three kids are in fourth grade (elementary school), sixth and seventh grades (middle school) and this is how our days typically play out (unless we lose power because, California).
Morning: My husband does the morning routine & I’m more than fine with it
Alarm goes off at 6:15 a.m. and I shut it off while my husband gets up to make coffee (yay!) and shower. Most likely our two boys are already up as they’ve always been early risers. My seventh grader is almost 13 and she can sleep until noon if we don’t wake her. Middle son makes himself breakfast (almost always involving Nutella) while the youngest watches a show on his Kindle Fire.
My husband usually makes breakfast for the youngest as we try and get as much protein as possible into him in the morning (to help with focus) or he will make one of these Just Crack an Egg cups for himself. We wake up the oldest around 7:15 a.m. and I usually get up then as well, after checking my email from my bed. Coffee for me, breakfast for my daughter and during this time my husband usually heads off to work after loading the breakfast dishes in the dish washer.
Morning School & Work: Everyone’s in their own room & we stick to our rigid schedules
Kids need to be online at 8 a.m. This school year they have to wear their uniform shirts any time they have a class meeting (they go to a private school). This means we usually have a lovely combo of fleece PJ pants with that red polo shirt but it’s better than constantly asking them to change out of their jammies like last year.
We live in a tiny-ish rental house in the Bay Area and just before COVID hit we swapped the kids’ rooms so that the boys were no longer sharing. I gave up my home office (which was becoming just a dumping ground anyway) and now each kids has his/her own room. This has worked out well for us with everyone doing distance learning as they can be on group class meetings without bothering each other.
We got desks for the kids (this one for the youngest and two hand-me-downs for the other two) and shelves/bins to organize their school gear. The school sent home iPads for each student in grades 2-8 which is great. My daughter uses hers with a Bluetooth keyboard and the boys have old laptops of mine that they prefer (bigger screen). My daughter will be getting a new laptop for her upcoming birthday. The older two use headphones with mics for their meetings. The youngest doesn’t like to wear headphones all the time so he skips them. Over the summer I had my kids learn to type using Type to Learn. While they are anything but proficient, it definitely put them in a better place to start this school year.
The older two are totally on their own for the school day. I only have to provide technical assistance on occasion or help them to find the colored pencils or notebook that they need.
The school day is set up by period. Using Google Classroom they are able to log into their classes throughout the day. The distance learning school day goes until 1:30 p.m. for the middle schoolers with recess and lunch breaks. They all have independent work time until 2:45 p.m. when they meet back up with their classes for check out. They’ve continued all the same classes they would have had in-person including PE and Art. I can always tell when one kid has PE as the jumping jacks shake the house!
Mid-morning: I love seeing my youngest son thrive with distance learning. I feel a huge sense of relief
For my youngest, he needs a little more help and direction throughout the school day. He’s in fourth grade and has some learning differences that make focus a struggle for him. We’ve actually felt that distance learning has worked well for him because he doesn’t have the distractions from other kids like he did in the classroom. He finds that the Google Classroom learning is great as he can set his screen to only show the speaker (usually the teacher) and that way he isn’t bothered by what other kids are doing. When he was doing in-person learning, he had a hard time with other kids intruding on his space. He also felt a lot of pressure to get his work completed quickly when others were done. Because his brain works differently, it often takes him longer to get to the answer and he felt a lot of pressure when in the classroom. At home he can work at his own pace.
The distance learning schedule has him in classes until lunchtime but usually it’s just a short class meeting (15 minutes or so) where the teacher teaches the lesson and then the class (about 20 kids) has time to work on an assignment on their own before the class meets up again. I have his weekly class schedule posted in my office (a.k.a. my bedroom) as well as his bedroom so that I can keep him on track throughout the day. For the elementary school kids, the distance learning schedule is set up with 30-minute blocks for each class, and two 15-minute recess breaks. They are done for the day at 12:15 p.m. and then meet back up again at 2:45 p.m. to correct the work they’ve done during the interim independent work time. He’s mostly able to do the work on his own, but he does like to come into my “office” to work alongside me sometime (as pictured above).
One thing that has helped us tremendously is that he has a FitBit that we charge every night. He uses this to keep on schedule. When he’s excused from a class he will set the FitBit to alert him just before he has to be back online. It has totally helped us and I am not constantly screaming at him to get back online.
Mid-morning: I lock myself in my bedroom (aka the office) to try and work
While the kids are in school, I’m working from home. We had to bump up our internet service when COVID kicked into gear (at an extra $40/month) because it just couldn’t handle three kids plus me home all day on google meets and Zoom meetings. I have always worked from home full time which definitely meant something different six months ago (hello, new office mates)!
Before distance learning began, I was pretty much working from different spots in the house like the kitchen, TV room and my bed (ugh, it’s true). But when the kids came home I really needed to be in a room with a door. With a small house the only option was our bedroom. Even though it’s only about 12 x 12, I swapped out my husband’s nightstand for this desk (that I love) and that’s where I work. I think this helps my kids to see that I am actually working (and not just watching reality TV on my phone) since it’s more of an official work space.
I keep my door closed (“close the door!” is shouted at least a dozen times a day when people come in to ask a question. Can someone please invent a button I can push to close the door from across the room? I would love you forever). We have a HEPA air filter running outside the door that provides a nice white noise and also helps with the poor air quality we’ve been having due to nearby wildfires. If I’m in a meeting and don’t want to be disturbed, I’ll put an “IN A MEETING” post-it on my door and lock the door. Locking the door is KEY because apparently my kids cannot read.
For the most part this arrangement works for me. I do have quite a few video meetings throughout the day (why, why do they have to be on video??) but since my job is in the parenting sphere and almost everyone I work with is a mom with kids at home, they get it if kids come in during a meeting. If there’s something that I really need to focus on, I usually tackle it when the school day is over as I’m more likely to have fewer interruptions then.
Afternoon: It’s independent work time for all of us
Lunch is usually DIY unless I have a frozen pizza or mini tacos that I can throw in the oven. My middle son can eat the microwavable mac n’ cheese cups every day of the week but I do require a fruit (it’s almost always a banana). The other two kids prefer more of a charcuterie-style lunch with salami, almonds, Wheat Thins and strawberries taking center stage. They all have lunch around the same time but the middle schoolers have to go back to class after lunch as they have a longer school day.
The afternoon is independent work time for all the kids (starting at 1:00 p.m. for elementary schooler and 1:30 p.m. for the middle schoolers) and then the classes reconvene at 2:45 p.m. to check the day’s work and sign off for the day. Usually my youngest still has some work to do after the official school day ends so I either carve out some time during my work day to sit with him and help, or I save it for when my husband comes home from work and he does it.
If my work schedule allows, we try and get out for a late afternoon hike. Luckily where we live is super close to lots of options for getting close to nature.
The Evening Hours: We’re now a family that eats at 5:30 p.m. and I’m okay with that
TBH, everyone’s kind of on their own in the evening. I’m not great about restricting devices after the school day so often you’ll see one of the kids out in the backyard hanging out on my favorite pandemic purchase, the backyard hammock. I eat dinner with my kids at the early bird hour of 5:30 p.m. (the natives get hungry so I’ve given in to this early dinner time). My husband is home by 6:30 p.m. and eats on his own. If the kids are up to it, sometimes there’s a bike ride around the neighborhood.
I’m able to look at all my kids’ work online to make sure they’ve turned everything in for the week. I am pretty hands-off with the middle schoolers but I do like to check in to make sure they aren’t having any issues. They turn in assigned work to the teachers by uploading photos of the work to Google Classroom or by using shared docs and sometimes there are tech issues when submitting docs.
Not every day is sunshine and roses: Here’s what’s made it all easier
I’ve definitely turned to outsourcing grocery shopping a lot more during this time at home. While I used to go to the grocery store almost every day to pick up this or that on my way to school pickup, I’ve gotten a lot more organized about groceries. I’ve been ordering fruits and veggies from Daylight Foods, a local restaurant and school food delivery service that pivoted to offer home deliveries when their other business dried up. I hope this service never goes away because their produce is the best. I’ve also been using Amazon Fresh a lot more lately since same-day delivery is always available.
While distance learning does have some additional challenges, we’ve been able to make it work for our family for the most part. We are all just doing our best to cope with the situation as it is!
Interested in telling your story? Start by filling out our questionnaire here. All stories are anonymous.
Claire is a working mom. Despite having a supportive partner, she feels she isn’t doing as much as she could at home. And despite making weekly business trips away from her family, she feels she isn’t doing enough at work. She brings in the highest sales revenue in her office but feels too busy and unworthy to ask for a promotion.
“I feel like the biggest disservice women have done is not articulating how hard it is to be a mom. I didn’t get it before having kids. I was like, ‘How hard can it really be?’” — Claire
Claire cautiously admits that before she had children, she didn’t quite sympathize with her mom coworkers. But now, here she is, a mother herself who has undergone a radical transformation. Her values and priorities have shifted, and, most importantly, she now has a family that depends on her. She’s exhausted, overwhelmed, and at her limits but feels compelled to act as if nothing has changed at work.
We interviewed 13 working moms, and Claire’s tension was echoed by all of them: Working moms are doing invisible work at home and making invisible sacrifices for work that inadvertently prevent them from self-advocating for career growth.
When we re-entered the workforce after having children, we found living parallel lives of mom and employee emotionally turbulent and guilt-ridden. We constantly doubted ourselves and our careers. We both took an extreme measure and quit jobs we were passionate about at a company we loved.
But the researchers in us couldn’t shake the question: Why is it so hard to be a working mom?
We decided to interview moms with children under age five who work in a range of professions — spanning technology, education, and government — and for companies that include Google, Uber, Apple, and Airbnb. All the women in our study were white-collar workers in committed relationships living across the U.S. (We realize single parents and parents with lower incomes have it even harder, especially with the increasing costs of childcare, as Elizabeth Warren has addressed. We recognize we are in a privileged position, and we hope to advocate for parents across all socioeconomic backgrounds through future studies and work.)
We conducted interviews during our participants’ pump breaks, lunch breaks, commutes, evenings, and during our own children’s nap times. We attempted to synthesize during playdates and car trips, which gave new meaning to the term “multitasking.”
This isn’t another self-help piece for moms on “how to survive the workplace” or a “top five hacks for getting dinner on the table faster.”It’s an attempt to listen, empathize, and highlight the invisible work, sacrifices, and challenges moms face that ultimately add to the gender gaps in female leadership roles and salaries. While our most obvious reader will probably be a mom, we hope our findings help a caring manager, human resource employee, or company leader better understand and advocate for making the invisible more visible.
Doing Double Duty Between Work and Home
Even with the best of partners, moms take on a disproportionate amount of invisible work at home. It’s not surprising that becoming a parent is a life-altering event that comes with a hefty to-do list and shifting priorities. But even in households with extremely involved, well-intentioned fathers, moms are still doing more of the work while simultaneously assuming their partners are doing as much as they can.
According to a 2017 study by LeanIn.org and McKinsey & Company, “women with a partner and children are 5.5 times more likely than their male counterparts to do all or most of the household work.” Moms we interviewed disproportionately performed tasks such as childcare drop-off and pickup, scheduling and attending medical appointments, researching enrichment activities, and purchasing supplies and clothes. To their partners, much of this work is invisible. To their employers, this work is irrelevant.
“Even with a supportive partner, the biggest gotcha surprise was that as a mom, you are the manager of the household. Clothes, baby fed, nanny paid, dog walked, fridge stocked. Every day.”— Allison, a small business owner
“He’s the best dad, but there are so many things he has no idea I do. He just thinks there’s magically always diapers and perfectly fitted, seasonal clothes.”— Lexi, a vice president of operations
The responsibilities that fall on moms are time-consuming, emotionally expensive, and draw from a seemingly infinite yet always depleting energy bank. Even the simple event of getting out the door in the morning can become task-heavy and emotional. One participant, Michelle, a social worker, detailed some of the pressure she’s under:
Our morning routine: getting myself ready for work, getting them ready for school, making sure the lunches are packed, their teeth are brushed, they learn how to bring their own plate to the sink, and Robbie gets to practice putting on his own shoes, and we remember to go to the potty all in an hour and a half without snapping at them because I don’t want to be late and they don’t understand the concept of lateness. Those types of little parenting issues take a big toll on me. It’s trying to do all that while working.
Moms’ Invisible Sacrifices for Work
Family needs and work needs are often directly at odds. Fearing real or perceived setbacks at work, moms often discreetly put work above their own wishes for their families. Michelle, mentioned above, desperately wants to make it home for family dinners but is unable to because her responsibilities restrict her from leaving until after early evening hours. She wants to bring her administrative work home and complete it once her children are asleep but fears asking to do so will make her look less serious and committed and will ultimately harm her career growth.
Moms just like Michelle often make sacrifices to accommodate work in daily situations: reluctantly skipping a pumping session to attend a meeting, not being able to leave to care for an unpredictably sick child, and fulfilling extra work demands like traveling. Managers may not even realize the personal sacrifices moms are making because these decisions happen invisibly, gracefully, and quietly.
“My milk production went down pretty drastically, and that was really stressful for me… There are moments in the workday where I actually choose between what’s good for my body and my child and what’s good for my job.”— Lisa, a deputy chief of staff
“One of the hardest things about working is not having the flexibility to immediately react to do what’s best for my family… Here’s an example: Right now, she’s sick, she looks terrible, she has a slight fever. The best thing for her would be to stay home with me today, but that’s not feasible. This morning, I did what all of the parents in my office talk about doing. I gave her Tylenol to hopefully keep the fever down long enough for her to go to school today. If it’s over 101, she can’t go to school for 24 hours. I can’t miss that much time off work this week.”— Cary, a customer experience manager
“The trip was four days, so I didn’t have enough milk for the baby. I flew my mom in. It was so hard.”— Rae, a senior analyst
Reluctance to Advocate for Career Growth
Most of the moms we talked with were not vying for a promotion at the time. In objective terms, this was baffling. These were the same moms we heard share stories of incredible sacrifice, devotion, and effort to their jobs. They gave up breastfeeding before they were ready because of work, they missed dinners with their children, and they came to work every day after giving emotional goodbyes and highly logistical drop-offs. These were also the same moms who noted that the financial compensation from work was more important than ever to support their families. But the act of explicitly “caring” to be promoted was seen as a burden.
Specifically, moms said they were uninterested in being promoted because they no longer had the patience for office politics, they lacked the time to advocate for themselves, they didn’t feel they deserved it because of their commitments outside of work, and the priorities they derived from work had changed. Once motivated by title and their place in the corporate hierarchy, they placed more importance on the work’s meaning.
“My objective isn’t to get promoted. At this point, it’s to do a good job in my role. I want to spend time with family and kids.”— Jennifer, a director of strategy and operations
“I feel like I’m not as worthy as other people who don’t need to leave at 5:30.” —Claire, director of branding
At face value, managers may interpret their direct reports’ lack of self-advocacy as opting out of greater career opportunities or selecting the so-called “mommy track.” But considering the behind-the-scenes effort and priority moms place on their jobs, these moms’ intentions may be grossly misunderstood.
“Even though I need to put limits in place, I still want to achieve and will work hard… I’m still ambitious even though I’m not in the office 12 hours a day.”— Stephanie, a data scientist
How Companies Could Benefit More from Moms
When women are overloaded with invisible work at home and making invisible sacrifices for work, they deprioritize advocating for career growth. As a result, they may be passed up for opportunities that would bring more fulfillment, challenge, and eventually leadership positions. At a glance, this could be interpreted as an issue that affects individuals: Claire should feel worthy of fighting for a promotion since she brings in the highest sales revenue on her team. But in taking a step back, Claire is part of a systemic problem. Women are disproportionately represented in leadership positions. Four in five C-suite leaders are men, and women are underrepresented in line roles at every level of the corporate pipeline. And women earn 4% less with each child they have.
By keeping moms employed and growing into leadership positions, companies benefit from attracting a more diverse workforce, which leads to greater innovation and creativity, lower turnover, easier recruitment, and capturing more of the market. Working moms have many superpowers that benefit their employers: Our participants said that after becoming a mom, they were more efficient, outspoken, and better able to prioritize. They had more perspective and were no longer sweating the small stuff.
There is no magic bullet that will adequately address all moms in all companies, but here are some guiding principles to make the invisible more visible:
Acknowledge and understand how hard it is for moms to show up at work every day.Learning about a mom’s family and her daily routines can help managers get a better picture of their whole self, not just their work self.
Create an environment where these topics are encouraged and discussed without penalty or judgment: What’s particularly challenging? What tradeoffs are moms making to do their jobs? How can you help them find fulfillment in their jobs and advance their careers at a pace that feels right to them?
Make parenthood more visible so moms can show up as their true selves. Encourage all parents, especially those in leadership positions, to talk about how their family affects their work. Create or connect moms to venues for parents to talk about their children — and also inquire about their children and their lives outside of work as appropriate.
Thank you to all the moms who shared their stories with us. You are an inspiration to us all.
For our next study, we want to focus on actionable solutions and partner with a company that cares about supporting moms. If you’d like to work with us or share your thoughts, you can reach us at shifttheworkplace.com
This post originally appeared on medium.com. All illustrations by Anne Kenny and Natalie Tulsiani.
Anne Kenny and Natalie Tulsiani are user researchers and designers who co-founded Shift the Workplace, a research consultancy that helps companies identify opportunities to support caregivers. With 30 years of combined experience at Huge, Microsoft and Airbnb, we offer tangible, practical recommendations tailored to the company's culture.
