ML Interest Tag: overwhelm

Finally Piecing the Puzzle Together

By Laurie Hellmann

Have you ever purchased a very challenging jigsaw puzzle just for the sheer joy and feeling of accomplishment you’ll get once you’ve successfully assembled it? The larger the number of pieces the better right? 

As I stare at those 5,000 pieces dumped onto my countertop and begin sorting and flipping them over, it becomes overwhelming that each individual piece doesn’t tell me anything about the completed picture. 

Where do I start? Is the best method for success gathering the corner and edge pieces to form an outline or should I begin dead center and work my way out? It’s hard to comprehend how those thousands of random shapes will fit together to reveal something unique and beautiful—but it always does. 

The Autism Puzzle
To me, parenting a child on the autism spectrum resembles that same overwhelming feeling of uncertainty and chaos of scattered puzzle pieces everywhere—which is ironic because the puzzle piece is one of the internationally recognized symbols of autism. 

Not knowing where to begin when you can’t easily link together the ‘normal’ pieces of development because those milestones are delayed. You begin to question every intuition and gut feeling you have. 

Maybe I’m overreacting. 

I’ve gone through the ‘autism characteristics’ checklist and can’t confidently say that’s what I’m seeing.

Our pediatrician doesn’t seem concerned.

Traditionally, parents wait lengthy periods of time for a specialist to shed some light as to what is specifically wrong with their child. We waited over a year.

As our coveted appointment finally arrived, I was cautiously optimistic but ultimately ill-prepared for the matter of fact, uncaring tone by which the autism diagnosis was doled out. 

Like rapid-fire, I was told ‘severe autism’ and ushered out of the office with nothing more than a label, an infinite number of unanswered questions, and a grim prognosis for the future. 

I know children don’t come with instructions; however, autism families deserve a pamphlet at the very least as minimal preparation for the many challenges that come with raising a child on the spectrum. I would’ve done cartwheels had someone outlined some of the most impactful behavior calming tips, tricks for introducing new foods, or strategies to encourage communication! 

Forging Our Own Communication Path
It’s through observation, mimicking, and basic instinct that most children will learn to utter new words and phrases, yet my son lacks those innate capabilities. 

Since the well-paved path to a tried-and-true communication plan was (and still is) non-existent, I read every book, tried every therapy, and invested in each method of intervention available back in 2006 with the sole focus on finding my son’s voice.

Sadly, one medical ‘breakthrough’ after another, touting unrealistic promises and guarantees for success, exploited my desperation and left me emotionally and physically devastated.

Then one day it hit me hard. Is the only form of acceptable communication the spoken word? The answer is a hard NO!

He’s already worked extremely hard to be part of a world that makes no sense to him—one that often misunderstands and judges him unfairly, so why would I spend another minute trying to cram his perfectly created individual piece of society into a neurotypical puzzle that he doesn’t fit into? 

I need to meet him where he is and learn from his cues. My son was communicating with me with his hands and eyes and has been extremely patient while waiting for me to take notice.

Trust the Process
It has taken years, 16 to be exact, for me to fully appreciate the beauty and lessons found in the differences between my son and his neurotypical peers. 

While autism presents like a puzzle, my amazing and intriguing experience has come from learning to help my son assemble his unique pieces in a timeframe and process determined by him. I recognize that his puzzle may take longer to construct, but I will no longer force pieces together that just don’t fit. 

Only then can I fully see the masterpiece of him—what he thinks, believes, and enjoys. A unique puzzle unlike anyone else’s in the world.

Life Lessons from a Jigsaw Puzzle
Throughout our life, we are presented with daily opportunities to gather more pieces to contribute to our own individual puzzle. We have no idea how our experiences today are going to mold us and shape us to fit into our completed lifetime picture. 

Being autistic does not devalue or diminish my son’s contributions to this world.

We don’t all have to be the same—where we look, walk, talk, think and learn similarly. Of those 5,000 pieces scattered across my countertop, not one is identical but they work together to make the completed product that much more spectacular.

What an incredible feeling of satisfaction when the pieces perfectly slide together—just as they were meant to all along.

I'm the mom to an 18 year old son with severe autism, a neurotypical teen daughter & have an incredibly supportive husband! I authored a memoir - Welcome to My Life: A Personal Parenting Journey Through Autism & host the podcast Living the Sky Life. Visit my website www.LaurieHellmann.com to learn more about me!

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

To the Special Needs Parents Who Came before Us

By Tabitha Cabrera

When we roll into this new year, it was time to look back at our choices over the last year and reevaluate our goals for change in the new year.

There is no doubt that 2020 will forever be one of the years we all can reflect on.

In 2020 we became special needs parents and discovered both our children carried the medical diagnosis, autism spectrum disorder.

When children are diagnosed, we often hear that the words in no way change who they are. The words on the paper provided a road to services and support they need. The words are only one small part of who they are.

After an autism diagnosis, we fight an inner battle of emotions and dive into learning as much as possible. It can feel overwhelming, and the fear of what the future will hold can suffocate you from the now.

Autism has daily fresh starts. We often watch skills get lost while others form. We open our homes and hearts to strangers who provided resources and sometimes challenging conversations about how we should parent our children. We try what others have for our children and family because they walked through the stage we are in now. I have listened to others stories of diagnosis before there was any awareness or support. I can’t imagine navigating all the systems before the internet age. We have had the opportunity to learn and grow from others paths. They walked the hard roads before awareness and paved the way for us to talk about our experiences.

Before I was given the gift of mothering these spectacular children, I worried about how I could grow as a person and what mark I would leave on this world. After I held both of my children in my arms, my focus shifted outward.

How could I give them everything they needed? What can I pass on to them that will shape who they are?

I wanted to provide a safe landing place they could return to anytime they felt lost. To have an open door I would be standing behind to catch them when they fall. I wanted them to know they would be circled in love and try and accept the choices they made for themselves.

As we parent our children, our mindset often changes based on who they are, and our children help shape what our parenting will be. All parents reach out to those who have come before them for tips and solidarity.

As my focus shifted outward, my hopes of being a security net for my children when they need me haven’t changed. The wide net has expanded to a community that now catch me when I fall.

To the parents who have come before, who talk and share about your experience, thank you. I have learned so much. You have allowed me to learn from your life and to change what I thought this parenting journey would look like with a fresh perspective. To absorb the wins every day, feel the feelings, know that it is normal to sit with them sometimes, snuggle in our children, learn from yours and all your kindness. I will embrace the kindness, learn from the daily fresh starts, and find comfort in your story.

This post originally appeared on www.peaceofautism.com.

Tabitha Cabrera, lives in Arizona with her husband, and two beautiful children. She works as an Attorney and enjoys spending her time in a public service role. The family loves nature and ventures outdoors as much possible. Come check out her little nature babies

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

I’m a Different Parent Now & That’s OK

By Natalie Silverstein

Photo: Natalie Silverstein (personal photo)

My oldest child is graduating from high school this month.  At age 18, she is considered an adult and mostly exhibits a maturity that will serve her well in college next Fall.  I hope we’ve done a good job raising her, that we’ve given her the tools she’ll need to be happy, to make a positive impact on the world, to take care of herself.  It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway—the time has gone by much too quickly.

My youngest child is eleven years old, and is solidly in her pre-pubescent “tween” phase.  She is funny, a little moody, confident.  She’s a resilient, easy-going youngest child who has had the benefit of birth order: older siblings to emulate and experienced, calmer parents who sort of know what they are doing, most of the time.

These two girls, born seven years apart (with a brother wedged in between), represent the book ends of our parenting journey.  Every milestone that one experiences reflects either a bittersweet memory of the past or a foreshadowing of the future.  Navigating the intricacies of these two very distinct stages, simultaneously, is as interesting as it is exhausting.

Our first time down this road, our older daughter mastered every rite of passage while I stumbled along beside her, trying to keep up.  She weathered the tumultuous phases of puberty, handled mean girls, figured out social media, successfully completed the college placement process, met her first boyfriend, and created a social life, complete with parties, drinking and pushing the boundaries of curfew.  Together, we’ve managed to survive these years relatively unscathed, although I assure you there have been tears, tantrums and raised voices (hers and ours) along the way.  Parenting a teen, and being one these days, is not for the weak of spirit.  Overall, it’s been a pleasure raising her and we’ve enjoyed a closeness that we’ll surely miss when she leaves home.  I’ll call this part of the journey a success and hold my breath until college move-in day in September.

Meanwhile, during these waning days of Senior Spring, our younger daughter has started blossoming into a “tween”, straddling that very fine line between child and teenager.  She still sleeps with her beloved blanket and stuffed animals, but begged for a phone so she could text friends. She follows memes and YouTube celebrities but still enjoys cartoons.  When we drive through New York City and she spots a mounted police officer through the car window, I’ll hear her whisper softly, “horsie”.  She asks me (or my husband, or one of her siblings) to lie in bed with her for a few minutes each night as she drifts off to sleep.  She’s still – luckily, mercifully – very much a little girl, but I know these days are strictly numbered.

While watching the little one on stage during a tap recital, the same recital her older sister performed in many times at the same age, it’s impossible not to feel the passage of time.  We stand in the theater courtyard after the show, taking the same posed photographs we’ve always taken, and it’s like Ground Hog Day.  It’s such a bittersweet joy to enjoy these moments, knowing that as quickly as the time has passed since my big girl clutched the bouquet in this spot, the coming years will fly by, as well.  And I’ll still be standing here holding the camera.

The younger child will certainly benefit from the fact that her sister has blazed many trails before her, leaving behind a little scorched earth and plenty of collective earned wisdom.  The onset of puberty won’t feel so overwhelming, the changes in her body won’t feel so scary and permanent as she’ll recall her sisters’ transformation from girl to woman.  She’ll understand that all of the friendships that seem so important in this moment may not last – but the special ones, the people who earn her trust and care about her feelings, will.  She’ll know that the “B-” in that all-important class really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, and everything truly does work out for the best in the college process.  Maybe, if we’re lucky, she’ll appreciate that the advice we give her, on these issues and so many others, may actually have a little merit.

Of course, I’m a different parent now than I was eight years ago.  Mistakes were certainly made along the way, and I hope I’ve learned from them.  I could have been more patient, I could have listened more and lectured less.  My oldest and I were breaking each other in, testing, challenging, figuring out the map together.  She was a worthy companion and teacher.  I’m grateful to her for the lessons, for making me a better parent for her brother and sister.

When I stand at pre-prom, senior dinner and graduation this year, as overwhelming as it will be to watch her experience these milestones, I’m sure I’ll see tiny flashes of her little sister moving through these scenes someday, too soon.  Present, past and future, all dancing around each other, reminding me to slow down, lower the camera, look, listen and savor.  The journey will of course continue, through all the many phases and stages yet to come, each with their own unique memories to be made, and cherished. 

 

Natalie Silverstein
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Natalie Silverstein, MPH, is the NYC coordinator of Doing Good Together. She is a writer, speaker and consultant on the topic of family service. Her first book Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back was published in 2019 and her second book for teens will be published in 2022.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

How to Thrive during COVID as a Working Mom

By Dana Look-Arimoto

Photo: istock

Constant multi-tasking. Overflowing schedule. Running errands. Prepping meals. Cooking Meals. Taking care of the kids. Long days. Long nights. Being a working mom has never been easy. And COVID threw a giant monkey wrench into our carefully cultivated routines. Now, everyone’s home—all the time—and somehow we’re still supposed to keep this operation running like before?

Working moms, listen up! I know we’ve all developed our systems and routines to fit our lifestyles, and are very proud of what we’ve been able to achieve with them. But we are in uncharted waters now. We can’t keep trying to manage things the way we did before.

And change is upon us again as some states start to open up with restrictions, and we will probably experience change once again in the coming months.

But never fear! There are ways to thrive in these turbulent times if you’re willing to make trade-offs. Here are four key steps that will help you manage the increased stress and responsibilities resulting from COVID:

1. Say No. Alright, let’s start with the hardest one. You’re going to have to say no to some things. I know, I know. As a working mom, it often feels like the world is expecting you to hold it up on your shoulders, and any utterance of the word “no” will cause it to collapse on top of you. This is fiction! The reality is that adapting to the changes taking place is not all on you, and you’re allowed to say no. In fact, I’m requiring it. You have to say no to things that de-energize you, even if they didn’t before the pandemic. For example, if you enjoyed, or at least didn’t mind, doing the dishes after dinner but now the activity leaves you drained, don’t do it!

Now, this doesn’t mean to just let those things drop (although I have seriously considered switching to paper plates). Bring in the family and divide up the household chores. Maybe you cook dinner but your son/daughter loads the dishwasher after. Or you can put the laundry into the washer and dryer, but your partner can fold and put away the clothes once they’re done. If you have younger kids, here are some age-appropriate chores so you won’t have to re-do the dishes after your five-year-old does them.

2. Ask for Help. This is a very crucial point and it ties into the previous point. If you take nothing else away from this article, remember this: asking for help is okay. It took me a while, and quite a few meltdowns, to learn this lesson, but admitting when you need assistance and reaching out is not a sign of weakness or defeat. No one is making it through this alone. Start by asking for and offering support in your own home. Then once you have a good system there, reach out to ask and offer help in your community and neighborhood, and, finally, at your workplace. The only way we get through this is together.

For me, one of the ways I ask for help is after I get home from grocery shopping (mask and all), one of my daughters or my husband helps me unload the car and put everything away. It’s a small task but not having to do all that alone, or at all, gives me a little breathing room and support.

3. Do Not Wait for Burnout. Just because the world has gone crazy, doesn’t mean we get to ignore our mental health. Not only is burnout still around, but it is going to sneak up on your like never before if you’re not careful. Before COVID, I was the type of person who had no problems focusing and could sit down and work for hours on hours without needing a break. In the past few months, I find myself often staring out the window, my mind a hazy blank. There’s just so much going on that it’s overwhelming us mentally, whether we consciously realize it or not. So, make sure you are taking time to relax and practicing some de-stress exercises.

4. Split up Roles and Responsibilities at Work. Task sharing doesn’t stop at home, although it is a little trickier at work. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be done! Splitting up your responsibility at work can seem really scary because we want to seem in control and completely fine at work. So, how can we tell a co-worker or boss, “Actually, could you or someone else handle this?” First, you have to remember that if you overwhelm yourself with tasks just for the sake of having a lot of tasks, your performance will suffer. We’ve got more on our plate than usual outside of work so adding to it is just going to make it overflow. If you know a specific task at work is not your forte, see if a colleague who enjoys this type of work is willing to take it on, or trade the task for something you love. Splitting up tasks like this sets you and your team up for long-term success.

Dana Look-Arimoto is a mom of two daughters, four dogs, and the founder and CEO of the leadership and executive coaching company, Phoenix5th. As an international speaker, author of Stop Settling, Settle Smart, and the host of “Settle Smarter” podcast, Dana is working to help people everywhere achieve work-life integration.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

What It’s Like to Have a Mama’s Boy

By Tabitha Yates

Photo: Tabitha Yates via The Redeemed Mama

“Baby, I need you to stop crying about everything.” I say to my 4-year-old son, followed by a heavy sigh. Another day, another sob fest about something that broke his little heart. He is my sensitive soul, my middle child, my gentle spirit. 

I will painfully admit, that I don’t always handle his sensitivities in the most patient way; like my kindred gentle soul whispers to me that I should. I get frustrated at the amount of calming and coaxing I have to do. I get tired of every disappointment ending in a river of tears.

But then I consider what kind of young man he is going to become, with all the love and sweetness he possesses and I know it’ll be a beautiful thing. Honestly, there’s not even one part of me that wants to “toughen him up.”

I watch him show an affection and tenderness for his little brother, that not a lot of boys his age are known for. I hear him ask me to hold him many times a day, because his little spirit needs that physical connection to recharge and I think of how affectionate and loving he will grow up to be.

I listen in admiration (And a bit of exhaustion) as he expresses his feelings. “Mommy, I’m so disappointed because I didn’t get a date with you today.” “Mom, it made me feel so frustrated when you said I have to share my new toy. It’s special to me.”  “Mommy, I had a really overwhelming day.” 

I can just imagine the amazing communication skills he will have in his future, that at 4-years-old he can spell out his feelings instead of just turning it all into anger; as too many men in this world do.

I see all the building blocks of the amazing man he will become, if I can just nurture and embrace his sensitive spirit and not break it.

It’s hard, Mama’s. If you have an emotional, sensitive or “clingy” boy; you are not alone. I know it can take every ounce of you most days—to acknowledge, to reaffirm, to embrace, to encourage, to love unconditionally. When his big emotions are taking over, take a step back and remember that you are the calm in his storm. When he trusts you enough to tell you all the things that made his day overwhelming, whether they be big or small, take a deep breath and model empathy and concern for his feelings. When he climbs up in your lap and begs you, “Hold me, Mama. I’m having a hard day” Think of what a gift it is, that you are his safe place. You are the one he knows he can cast all his cares on. 

They’ll outgrow our laps, but they’ll always be our sweet little boys in their hearts and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

This post originally appeared on The Today Show.

The Redeemed Mama is a writer who had had articles published by The Today Show, Love What Matters, The Mighty, Faithit, For Every Mom, The Creative Child Magazine and more. She has 3 beautiful kids and resides in Southern Arizona and loves writing about parenting, life and growth!

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

New PSA from “Sesame Street” Reminds Parents to Take Time for Themselves

by Jennifer Swartvagher

Elmo’s dad has a message for parents everywhere. Sesame Street knows how much hard work is going into working from home and helping with distance learning. They made a new PSA to remind parents to take a moment for themselves. 

The PSA, which is part of Sesame Workshop’s new Caring for Each Other initiative, features Elmo’s dad, Louie. Elmo is in the background asking to build a pillow fort, but Louie needs to take a moment to himself. He says, “It is wonderful to be able to spend so much time with our children, but it can also be a bit overwhelming. So I just wanted to say, parents, you’re doing an amazing job. Remember though, it’s important to take some time for yourself. Take care of you. Listen to your favorite song, stretch, or just take a moment to breathe.”

Sesame Workshop’s new Caring for Each Other initiative includes resources for families to help them with distance learning and creating new routines for children to follow. Free eBooks and other downloadable materials are currently available as well.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Sesame Street via YouTube

RELATED STORIES

Sesame Workshop Launches Caring for Each Other Initiative

Over 100 Sesame Street eBooks Are Now Available for Free Download

Elmo Sings About About Hand-Washing in Adorable PSA

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

6 Tips to Strengthen Your Relationship before Baby Arrives

By Lesley Eccles

Photo: pexels

The baby is almost due. That means that for months and months, you’ve been focused on baby preparation, especially if it’s your first—taking care of another human being may be the biggest responsibility you’ll ever face. Even if you’ve managed to shut out the external pressures put forth by well-meaning family, baby catalogs, and the media, the truth is that all your attention and energy points to baby: Getting the room ready, buying diapers and clothes, planning potential childcare needs, and just the sheer discomfort of pregnancy.

There’s a lot going on! But wait—there’s a very important piece of baby preparation being lost among the chaos: your relationship.

Yes, your relationship—the state of it, and the idea of nurturing it—is critical when thinking about baby. Because when the baby comes, everyone’s schedule gets turned upside down and there’s little time or energy to work on your relationship. The idea that babies bring relationships closer together is a complete myth; the truth is a high-stress/little-sleep situation puts extreme strain on even the strongest relationships.

That’s why the most important time to work on your relationship is after the baby comes. And the best way to ensure that is to start thinking about strategy before baby comes. Here are six critical tips to consider during that time:

1. Plan to check-in with each other. Taking care of a newborn is hard. When you throw in so many variables, from potentially returning to work to nursing difficulties to health issues, it can feel overwhelming—and the way it feels overwhelming can be different for each parent. Use a regular check-in time to have honest conversations. If you’re struggling, come clean about it. And if your partner is struggling, ask what you can do to help. The worst thing that can happen is for one of you to feel ignored at this point, so make sure to check-in.

2. Make a plan for a babysitter now. Whatever you did as a couple before baby, whether it’s a movie night or dinner out or video games, make regular time to partake in it after the baby comes. This time is special and is a good reminder that you’re both parents and people. Get a head start by reaching out to your friends and family before the baby arrives to see who’s willing to be a sitter at least once a month.

3. Make regular time for self-care. Self-care is as important as couple time. After all, healthy couples require healthy individuals. Whether that means making time to go for a walk or take a long quiet bath, make sure you as partners have a system in place where you can allow for this replenishing individual time.

4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s very common to try and hunker down and go it alone, especially during the early weeks of after the baby is born. But remember that you’ve got your support system of friends and family. Even if that means someone delivers a meal or covers you for an hour so you can take a shower and check your email, these people are there and their offers of support are genuine. There’s absolutely zero shame in accepting them—it doesn’t make you less of a parent. In fact, it makes you a better parent by understanding your limits and resources while modeling this behavior for your child.

5. Use smart conflict management. People don’t perform at their best when they’re stressed, tired, or hungry. Having a baby, particularly a fussy one who’s refusing to adapt to sleep schedules or other common-but-difficult issues exacerbates all of that. This means that when the parents are arguing, it can devolve quickly. Make a pledge to review smart conflict management before you become parents—from “I” statements to active listening to know when to take a break, this preparation will build safety nets that ensure things never cut too deeply.

6. Schedule sex: Remember sex? Yes, that really wonderful thing you used to do as a couple—spontaneous, intimate, and fun. Like everything, that precious event becomes much harder to fit in with a baby, and even as children grow older. The “spontaneous” element of sex may never return the way it was before the baby arrived, which means it’s important for your relationship to schedule it in. But don’t think of it as monotonous and planned; instead, consider it a special stay-in date strictly for you two.

Becoming a parent is a massive shift that changes everything in your life: your schedule, your priorities, your focus, and yes, even your sex life. But building a strategy before the baby comes can help steady the ship through the roughest waters. And remember, a strong relationship isn’t just good for your marriage. Studies show that marital conflict is absorbed by children and later surfaces as a greater likelihood for depression and other mental health issues. So step up for your entire family when you have the opportunity. By having these conversations before the baby, you’ll be in a much better spot to navigate life after the baby—and everyone benefits from that.

Lesley Eccles is the Founder and CEO of Relish, the first-ever truly customized relationship training app that makes it easy to build a happy, healthy, more connected relationship with your partner. She is also a mother to three beautiful children.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

These Brothers Recreated “Toy Story 3” & You Have to See This Incredible Video

by Shahrzad Warkentin

If you’re a huge fan of Buzz, Woody and the gang you won’t want to miss this incredible remake of Toy Story 3 made entirely with real toys.

Teen brothers Morgan and Mason McGrew decided to pay homage to their favorite film, Toy Story 3 by recreating it shot-for-shot. Using real toys, stop motion animation and iPhones, the duo started working on their film in 2010 and now eight years later it is finally complete.

From the famous Disney title cards to the closing credits and all the action in between, the brothers used Toy Story toys along with real world settings to recreate the Pixar magic for Toy Story 3 In Real Life. They added the voice tracks from the actual film to tie the whole story together.

Once the epic project was finally finished, the brothers sought the approval of Disney to post it online. With the company’s blessing they shared their creation with the word and have received an overwhelming response. The film has been viewed over one million times since it premiered on YouTube a few days ago.

Morgan and Mason documented the entire process over the last eight years on the Toy Story 3 IRL Facebook page. You can check out all the work and behind-the-scenes details that went into the film.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Toy Story 3 IRL via YouTube

 

RELATED STORIES

Disney+ Announces “Toy Story 4” Prequel & It Stars Bo Peep

Disney’s Next Live Action Remake Is “Bambi”

This Guy Put Himself Into a Disney Classic to Propose to His Girlfriend

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

How to Pick Eyeglasses for Your Kid’s Face Shape

By Laura Harrison

Eyeglasses can add an additional flair to your kid’s style, but is there a style or frame shape that is better suited for their face shape? How do you know what the best frame shape is for their face shape?

As the co-founder of Jonas Paul Eyewear, my team and I have spent quite a bit of time studying frames and faces, and can recommend the best frames to accentuate each face shape and bring out the personality behind the lenses. Here are a few of my tips on the best way to find stylish kids glasses to accentuate their already sparkling style and personality. And if going into a store sounds overwhelming, many eyewear companies now offer home try-on kits so you can explore and try on various styles in the comfort of your home. 

Oval Faces: If you’re not sure if your child has an oval face shape, take a look to see if they have balanced proportions, high cheekbones, and a chin that is slightly narrower than the forehead. To maintain the natural, balanced proportions of an oval face, I always recommend finding frames that are not overly wide or tall to steer away from creating an illusion that your face features are disproportionate. Faces that already have a naturally balanced look will do best with these types of medium-sized frames.

Round Faces: Typically, if your kid has a round face, it means that they have soft angles, a slightly curved jawline, and a jawline that is slightly narrower than the forehead. Finding st‌yles that contrast the shape of your face, such as rectangular st‌yles with a narrower eyeglass, will help better define their features and make their face appear longer. A few of our st‌yles, such as The Maddie or The Lincoln are the perfect example.

Square Faces: With angular features, a strong jawline, and cheekbones that are about the same width as the forehead, square face shapes are usually better suited with circular frames, as they tend to soften the angles of the face. If you’re not sure where to begin, glasses that have softer curves or edges will definitely accentuate the sharp features in you or your child’s face. Again, it’s all about contrast! 

Heart-Shaped Faces: For heart-shaped faces with high cheekbones, a wider forehead that narrows down to a smaller, defined chin, and a sharply tapered jawline, I recommend lighter, more airy frames, both in color and in material. This st‌yle can make heart-shaped faces appear to be more balanced and symmetrical from top to bottom, reducing the width of the forehead. St‌yles like The Maddie and The Paul are a great option to test out with your little ones!

While it can feel overwhelming to test out new styles or freshen up a look (even as adults!), always remember, it’s an ongoing journey. Try and find what feels most comfortable for your child, test it out, and don’t be afraid to ask for help! 

 

Laura, co-founder and COO of Jonas Paul Eyewear, started the brand with her husband shortly after their first child, Jonas, was born with a rare-eye condition. From there, Jonas Paul Eyewear was created with the mission of creating stylish eyewear and providing sight to children in need with every purchase.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement