ML Interest Tag: panic

Instagram for Kids Isn’t a Bad Idea. It’s a Terrible Idea

By Sean Herman

I’m going on the record saying that “Instagram for Kids” might be the worst idea I’ve ever heard, and here’s why: a platform like that will have consequences. Facebook, as a company, makes very intentional decisions—and all the negative impacts from this decision are fairly easy to anticipate. I’ve even listed them out below. And, as surely as Instagram for Kids is a bad idea, Facebook will spin its inevitable issues as “unintended consequences.” Because I’m a parent and the founder of a tech company dedicated to improving technology for our children, the consequences feel obvious, not “unintended.”

A Platform Built on Comparison & Competition
Instagram is the poster child of striving for perfection. I’ve written before that social validation is the number one thing I worry about as a parent, especially in the context of rising depression and anxiety rates among youth. Unlike many, I don’t solely place the blame on smartphones or social media, and in general, I’m pretty pro-technology. We could argue correlation vs causation all day, but I’ve seen enough anecdotal evidence to change the way I view technology and how I parent. The fact is that likes and followers matter to kids, and many measure their self-worth this way. We’ve seen social validation mechanisms like this show up in apps for kids like PopJam, but Instagram takes that to a whole new level.

An Easy Target for Online Predators
This feels like stating the obvious, but a platform where children post pictures of themselves, their friends and their lives is ripe for online predation, and cases of children being groomed and abused via adult social media platforms are already well documented. A particularly disturbing documentary from Bark Technologies demonstrated how quickly it can happen. Their team collaborated with law enforcement to create fictional profiles of teens and tweens to see how quickly predators would reach out, and within one hour of posting a profile for a fake 15-year-old girl on Instagram, seven adult men attempted to contact her. After nine days, 92 potential predators had made contact. The team then launched an 11-year-old persona, and within minutes, multiple would-be abusers reached out. The dangers are real.

Usually, platforms designed for kids need to verify that an adult is an adult, but “Instagram for Kids” may pose the opposite. It could be difficult to prevent predators from posing as children to gain access and follow young users. The last thing I want to do is instill panic in parents, but the stats are grim: from January to September 2020, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children received 30,236 reports of possible online enticement. And those are just the ones that were reported. I can’t help but feel that “Instagram for Kids” would be enticing to predators—and while that clearly isn’t Facebook’s intention, it’s certainly easy to predict.

The Trouble with Locking It down
Kids want to feel empowered. If Facebook severely limits what kids can do on “Instagram for Kids,” they’ll hate it. Just look at the example of YouTube. It’s the number one most-loved brand among kids—blowing YouTube Kids out of the water. Any parent will confirm that kids do NOT want to feel like babies. Adult platforms simply do not retrofit easily to serve kids. They’re built with specific goals and it’s very difficult to secure them in a way that’s appropriate for children. YouTube Kids had videos with sexual content and suicide instructions. Facebook Messenger Kids had a design flaw that allowed kids to connect with strangers. Retrofitting just doesn’t work.

Kidfluencers Version 2.0
Unless Instagram for Kids is a closed platform, I think we’ll see a rise of kidfluencers. Perhaps the most notable example of this phenomenon is Ryan Kaji, the kid behind the highest-earning YouTube channel in 2018 and 2019. As a platform for youth under 13, “Instagram for Kids” might restrict ads—but how will they manage influencing? These contracts are made outside of the platform, offering individuals compensation for featuring or mentioning certain products or services in videos, photos or comments. Even some adults can’t always tell when they are being sold to, and I suspect it will be all the more difficult for children. And there’s precedent for this kind of thing: Walmart, Staples and Mattel have bankrolled endorsement deals for kids and tweens in the past. While kids who star in television and movies are protected by legislation requiring that their earnings be placed in a trust, there is nothing to protect income generated by kidfluencers—leaving kids potentially exposed to exploitation.

Should We Create Kids Cigarettes While We’re at It?
For all the reasons listed above, “Instagram for Kids” is a “hard no” for me. But you often hear people argue that kids are using the platform anyhow, so why not create a separate platform with a few more parental controls? To me, this argument is fundamentally flawed. After all, kids are often attracted to things that aren’t safe or healthy for them. Many are intrigued by smoking, drinking and drugs, but there’s a reason we don’t just lower the drinking and smoking age. As a society, we’ve agreed that some things are best left until kids grow up a bit—and I think Instagram is one of them.

The answer to children using Instagram isn’t to put up a few guardrails. It doesn’t address the root problem at all. The effects of these platforms on youth are still largely unknown, but the anecdotal evidence points to the fact that they probably do more harm than good. Using our kids as guinea pigs in a real-life experiment isn’t the answer. Kids are the fastest-growing group of internet users and have unique needs that have to be protected—not exploited by Big Tech.

Sean Herman is the founder and CEO of Kinzoo, an exciting new company that helps parents turn screen time into family time. His first book, "Screen Captured," debuted at number one in Amazon's parenting category, and his writing separates technology fact from fiction for his fellow parents.

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The Essential Thing Kids Should Bring to Summer Camp

By Allison Miller

 

camp trunk
Photo: Mabel’s Labels

Some parents love packing their kids for camp. Others don’t. Either way, every parent has asked themself (and likely all their fellow camp moms and dads) the vexed question: “What do I pack?”

Being the Founder & CEO of Happy Camper Live as well as a camp director and (according to dining hall talk) a “master of the camper packing list,” I’ve gotten this question a lot. As in, 22-years-of-running-summer-camp a lot. So, naturally, a great number of things come to mind when I hear it, like different articles of clothing, towels, snacks, water (preferably in a refillable bottle), sunscreen. The list could go on. Still, there is one big thing I did not list. One big thing I recommend no child sends off to camp without. And here’s some welcome news: parents don’t need to buy a larger camp bag for it.

That’s because, strange as it may sound, this most important item can’t be packed. It can’t be stowed in a secret pouch. It can’t be zipped into a pocket. This most-important item is indeed no item at all.

It’s one good disposition.

In other words, a positive attitude.

When I first heard about “one good disposition,” I was eight years old. It was the opening day of my summer program. A storage box and duffle bag were sitting in the living room of my childhood home, almost fully packed with clothes that I had folded myself (my mother taught me how). Sidenote: I recommend parents do this since most camps have kids take care of their own clothes.

My mother had also been sewing labels into my clothing for weeks. (I also recommend parents label their campers’ clothing. It’s much easier today with peel-and-stick or iron-on tags, like the ones Mabel’s Labels makes.)

“I’m just about ready,” I thought to myself.

I took out my packing list and read the items. I wanted to make sure I had everything. My most cherished pairs of jeans (kids should pack together with parents not only to bring about in them a sense of responsibility for their belongings but also to ensure their favorites are packed), plenty of socks, swimming gear. Check, check, check. I went on reading smoothly until the last item. It gave me pause. It gave me panic.

“One good disposition.”

Of course, I wanted to know what that was and where I could get one. Was it a type of shirt? Something I put on after swimming? In the end, I was too embarrassed to ask. And so I went off to camp still excited, yet imagining I lacked this important item.

Important indeed!

Okay, so, why must a camper metaphorically pack this “one good disposition”?

It’s common knowledge that summer camp is full of magic, fun, and adventure. While certainly great in their own right, all that magic, fun, and adventure aims toward a larger purpose. No, I don’t mean archery (although camps have that, too).

I’m talking about growth.

Growth has been the main purpose of summer camp since its rise in the late 19th century. The original summer camps promised to teach kids leadership skills and to build up their character. (Of course, at that time, camp was only meant for boys.) According to American Camp Association, building character is still a central theme for summer camps.

Challenging pursuits (for example, rope courses) give campers the opportunity to try and fail and try again, teaching resilience in a judgment-free setting and, in the end, showing them the fullness of their potential. Other games help campers learn teamwork, cooperation, and communication. Time away from home promotes independence. Clean up fosters responsibility.

All these lessons make summer camp a positive, productive experience for kids. One might wonder what any of this has to do with “one good disposition.”

Well, studies show there is a tight connection between mood and growth.

According to the broaden-and-build theory developed by Barbara Fredrickson, positive emotions are internal signals that encourage “approach behavior,” which motivates individuals to engage in their environments and familiarize themselves with new people, ideas, and situations. When people are open to new ideas and actions, they expand their horizons and learn and grow as people. In my view, that’s what summer camp is all about.

Of course, I could answer the question “What do I pack?” much more literally. (Actually, I recommend parents check camp policies for what they shouldn’t pack. Often, certain items are not permitted, such as cameras and cell phones.) In other articles I’ve written, I made detailed lists of actual items to stuff in the beloved “camp bag.” One thing I always emphasize to parents is not to overpack. But there is something I would say is quite impossible to overpack.

Positivity!

Allison Corey Miller is the Founder and CEO of Happy Camper Live, a lifest‌yle brand centered around the world of summer camp. Her vision is to bring the magic of summer camp to every kid in the world 365 days of the year. 

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If Your Little One Is Struggling with Anxiety

By Ali Flynn

Anxiety told this sweet girl to panic. Anxiety told this little one she couldn’t be alone in a room. Anxiety told this sweet one she had to fear, rather than be filled with joy. But you know what anxiety didn’t do?  It didn’t take over. It didn’t get the best of her. It didn’t take away her happiness.

This sweet girl took control. She didn’t allow it to strip her from her joy. She didn’t let the thoughts churning inside crush her spirit.

This little girl did the work. She learned strategies to calm her spirit when it was revving up. She practiced relaxation techniques. She took deep breaths and then some more.

This little girl did the work. And now, as a teen, she is thriving. Anxiety creeps in every now and then but she has the tools to stop it long before it attempts to take over.

When I look at her now, I see a calm surrounding her. She has arrived at a place of comfort. She has arrived at a place of peace. She has arrived at a place of confidence.

My sweet girl is a light of hope and strength.

As I look at her now, in social settings talking with confidence, not worrying about the next thing coming and laughing with a joy that deeply fills her heart, I take pause.

I pause and I smile, with tears in my eyes, knowing how blessed she is, how much work she has done and the payoff now of feeling free…

Free from the controls of anxiety.

Free.

And what a blessing for my sweet girl.

So mamas, if your little one is struggling with anxiety, know there is hope. If you are looking for some tips on how to help your little one, turn to your pediatrician or reach out to a therapist for guidance. They have the tools and answers to guide you through this journey.

This post originally appeared on Hang in there mama by Ali Flynn.

 

 

Ali Flynn Is excited to share with you the joys and hardships of motherhood with an open heart, laughter and some tears. Ali is a monthly guest contributor for Westchester County Mom  and has been seen on Filter Free Parents, Grown and Flown, Today Parents and Her View From Home.

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A Call for Resilience, Resourcefulness & Gratitude

By Deanna Pope-Toth

The last few days and weeks have been nothing short of chaotic. Fear fills the minds and hearts of parents who desperately want to protect their families and vulnerable loved ones.

There is a sense of relief on the minds of parents who realize Covid-19 doesn’t have staggering fatality rates in children or generally healthy people. Yet there is excruciating fear for our parents, grandparents and family and friends with compromised health. Uncertainty with health, jobs, and the education of our communities is another big question we’re twirling around in our minds.

As panic becomes the only constant in our communities and feeling like we’re in a race against time, we must remember that our children are in their most formative years. The events that unfold and the way we handle them will become a lesson for many children and teens. 

Dire times not only produce fears, but incredible opportunities for self-reflection, resourcefulness, and leadership. The silver-lining is what we as parents must be searching for each day, and finding out ways to keep the wheels moving despite challenges. 

Here are some tips for how we can maintain leadership in our families and promote self-growth, despite dire times.

1. In all times, including uncertain times, focus on what you have. Everyone has blessings—it’s time to start counting them. These are anchors in times of uncertainty. My son is my anchor as when I’m busy reading the news or worrying, I’m grounded by his sense of wanting to live in each moment. Whether it’s just hugs, laughter, listening to his stories, he grounds me. 

2. Use social distancing as a chance to refocus. In our daily lives, we are so bombarded by activities, schedules and trying to be all things that we often lose sight of what we really want. Now’s the time to take an inventory of your life—what you want, what you don’t. Maybe you can even start writing a list of the things you’d like to accomplish. While each day presents new findings and advice and it’s important to stay informed, do yourself a favor and try to tune out of the social media and get excited about your plan. Social media can become like a vortex in times of uncertainty—and I can tell you, that’s counterproductive.

3. Once you’ve nailed down your list, get resourceful. We all need each other to survive. The world is not over—despite the tone of many doomsday sayers. Historically, there will always be people who think the world is coming to an end, and despite what they say, we keep going. We will grow from this—it’s in our human nature and history proves that we will adapt. Now’s the time to figure out how we’re going to do it. Self-isolation has come at a time where we can keep the gears moving with the technology that’s available. 

4. Know that sometimes the darkest times in our lives prepare us for the best outcomes. William Blake was famously known for his romantic poetry that focused on comparing opposites: If we didn’t know hell, we wouldn’t know heaven. If we didn’t know darkness, we wouldn’t know light. If we had no hardship, we wouldn’t be able to recognize when life is really good. Greta Thunberg set a tone at the end of 2019, warning us that we had to make some changes. Let’s embrace hardship as paving the way for positive change.

What we do now matters so much as our kids grow up in a changing world. Let’s leave them with a sense of resilience. Let’s show our kids how to do it. Let’s not let fear and panic define us. Let’s define our futures, and let’s show our kids how it’s done. That’s the best lesson we can teach them. 

This post originally appeared on Mom's Candid Conversations.

Hi, I'm Deanna. Mom and step-parent and I'm dedicated to positively contributing to the parenting community! 

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When Your Child Elopes

By Chrystal Venator

My son Stalen is almost 6 years old and on the autism spectrum. His safety is my priority, always. 

He has no sense of safety or danger. He elopes. He is a runner. He is an opportunist. As soon as he sees an opportunity he bolts. 

When these incidents occur, his strength and speed are superhuman. He has crossed beyond the tree line into the woods on me a couple of times. He has unlocked the door once and gone outside—luckily into our fenced-in backyard. He has bolted across our front lawn with his toes touching the edge of the street just before I could catch him. He has even taken off inside a facility. 

As he gets older, as he gets stronger, as more opportunities surface, the risk increases. 

I’ve been thinking about safety so much lately as Stalen will be going off to school in a few short months. I’m not worried about him performing academically in school, I’m worried about his safety. 

Have you ever lost track of your child, even for a second? You thought they were in one place but they weren’t. You yell their name and there is no answer. You begin searching frantically. You can feel the anxiousness in your every breath and the tight sickening feeling deep in the pit of your stomach. You’re about to erupt in complete utter hysteria. Panic. 

You beg God desperately, pleading, ”Please let my baby be okay. I will do anything.”

There are no words to describe that feeling. 

Just writing this makes me feel sick and my heart beats faster. 

It’s been the greatest challenge of my life to keep my son safe these past six years. There is one rule that I live by: He doesn’t leave the house without me. I am always on. I’m always calculating his next move. This is the life I’ve adapted to, it’s immediate and natural for me to identify the safety risks and exits before I even realize the presence of others in a space. 

My son also wears a Project Lifesaver radio-frequency tracking device, an alert me band that indicates he has non-verbal autism and has two emergency phone numbers. Every year I update and renew his information in the police vulnerable person registry where we live. I also notify our Project Lifesaver team each time we travel, and they issue a travel advisory to authorities in the area that we travel to. 

We avoid large crowds. When we go out I dress him in bright colors so my eyes can find him quickly. 

When we moved to our neighborhood two years ago, at every interaction with neighbors I remind them, “If you see my son outside without me, there’s something wrong—please help.” 

I know we are doing all the right things. But, the problem with safety issues is that something can happen so quickly. 

Despite all the precautions, in one second, in the blink of an eye, my greatest fear could come true. 

I could look down, get distracted, accidentally let go of his hand. He could wriggle away from me. Someone could stop me for directions. My phone could ring. Someone may be in distress and ask me for help. He could get a door open when I go to pee. So many possibilities.

One second. In the blink of an eye.

I’m reminded of the risks and heartache almost every day when a photo shows up on my newsfeed or on my tv. When I look at the face of the autistic person that has eloped and is missing, I think of my son. I think of the close calls and near misses. I think that it easily could be him. I think of the family searching for their baby. I feel their heartache every single time. I think of that one second, blink of an eye, that may have changed their lives forever. 

Like so many others, there is nothing I wouldn’t do to keep my son safe. I just hope and pray that what I am doing is enough.

This post originally appeared on Stalen’s Way Facebook.

I am a proud wife, ASD Mom, Step-Mom. At 21 months, my son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. He is 5 years old and non-verbal. I have become a full-time stay-at-home mom. I am 1000% focused on raising autism awareness and helping my son live a full and fun life. 

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Turning My Worry into Wonder

By Kim Mcisaac

Worry could be my middle name.

I suffer from severe anxiety. 

I don’t know where normal worry begins or ends because the anxiety takes of over like an uncontrollable monster that steals every ounce of rational thought.

All parents worry and parents with special needs children, or medically complex children even more so. 

Our children are so vulnerable and that makes us vulnerable too. 

I worry about what will happen to my daughter if I die. If anyone will love her, understand her, and connect with her the way I do. 

I know she will be cared for and I know she will be loved but she needs so much more. 

I worry about her getting sick or hurt as she is unable to communicate this with us.  When she is sick I have to fight the panic that can consume me. 

I worry about someone mistreating her or worse—how will I know?  

The worry can eat away at you. 

I wonder why this happened to her and what she would be like if she wasn’t affected by this. 

Would she be as happy, as sweet and lovable? Would she bring light and joy to everyone the way she does now?  

I wonder why I was blessed with this beautiful soul to take care of, this sweet and sassy, smart and silly girl, who is full of innocence and love. 

I wonder what kind of person I would be without her. 

I wonder what she thinks, how she feels, what it’s like to be her—is she truly happy?

I wonder if she knows how much I love her, deep in my soul, a connection like no other. 

I wonder if she knows how proud I am for every single accomplishment, no matter how small because I know how much work it is for her and how hard she had to dig for them. That my heart could burst with every new word that I thought I would never hear, every hug or kiss that I didn’t think I would ever receive. 

I wonder if she knows I would take all her struggles, confusion, and pain as my own and carry them for her if I could. 

I wonder what she will surprise me with next because she never ceases to amaze me. The worry as a special needs mom, a mom in general, and for me as a person will never stop. I have learned however to find happiness and peace in the here and now. To find the humor in every situation and to appreciate the beauty this life has bought me. 

 

Kim McIsaac , is a blogger at autism adventures with Alyssa . She resides in Massachusetts with her husband and four children .  She advocates and passionate about spreading autism awareness and educating and inspiring others . She likes to write , spend time with her  family and loves the beach . 

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4 Tips for a Better IEP Meeting

By Amanda DeLuca

As a special needs parent I think we can all agree the panic we have felt before heading into these meetings. Even though I’ve sat through plenty for my own child, and many for clients as well these meetings always bring up nerves and jitters for parents. Here are some of my top tips for helping parents head into their next IEP meeting feeling less anxious and more confident.

1. Request your draft copy of the IEP in writing. Not all states require a draft copy of the IEP be sent to parents, but it is common practice to do so. I always remind my clients to request a draft copy of the proposed IEP in writing, most commonly in e-mail form one to two weeks ahead of the meeting. Receiving a draft copy ahead of time allows you time to look over the document and you can begin to take notes and write down your questions before your meeting.

2. Work on asking questions at the table instead of just disagreeing with the team. As you are reviewing your draft copy of your document, word your notes into question form, over a bullet-pointed list. By asking questions it opens up the conversation for collaboration as opposed to quick close-ended statements that turn the conversation to quiet dead ends. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking the “why” and “how” to get ideas flowing at the table towards a more collaborative solution.

3. Write a clear parent input letter. Writing a clear parent input letter after you’ve reviewed your draft IEP, or even before you request one from the team can help the team recognize your top concerns for your child. This statement should be the driving force for the team about what you want long-term and where you want to see your child go. This statement should also talk about what supports they need to be successful and can include suggestions from outside providers. Parent input statements should be submitted to the team ahead of the meeting so that this information can be added to the IEP document.

4. Familiarize yourself with the purpose of the IEP. The IEP or Individualized Education Program is laid out to prepare students for further education, independent living, and employment. Understanding that the IEP should be individualized to meet your child’s unique needs and is not a one size fits all document can really help shape out-of-the-box thinking strategies from parents, therapists, and teachers at the table during your meetings. I know first-hand sitting at the table can sometimes feel very “us vs. them” and as a master IEP coach, I work very hard to help make teams and parents work collaboratively.

Ultimately, we need to remember everyone at that table wants your child to succeed. Using the tips outlined above is a great place to start building your confidence at the IEP table.

This post originally appeared on Jackson's Journey, Jackson's Voice.

Amanda is a mom of two and lives in Ohio. Her son is on the autism spectrum and is who inspired her to begin her journey through advocacy. In her free time she enjoys teaching dance , hosting the MommingAutism podcast, and writing for her page Jackson’s Journey, Jackson’s Voice.

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I Tried the New Family Setup Feature on Apple Watch & Here’s What I Really Think

by Amber Guetebier

The pandemic has been hard on parents, there’s no doubt about that. But it’s also been really hard on kids: not only have they had to adjust to unique school experiences, they’ve also lost a lot of the freedoms they’ve had to just…well…play. I never thought an Apple Watch would be a way to give my kid some of that freedom and independence back but I recently tried one out and I’m here to say: this thing is the bomb. Let me explain…


Three main things have changed dramatically in our lifestyle in the last year:

1) After nearly a year of school closures, our district reopened elementary schools.

School hours and how and where parents pick kids up is quite different than non-COVID times. In addition to school changes, this year my son is a Crossing Guard/Patrol, which means that every two weeks his afterschool schedule changes. I work full time (I’m the Managing Editor for Red Tricycle, obtw) and have a lot on my plate, so his schedule changing can throw things off for me, like meeting times and deadlines.

Plus, parents are essentially not allowed in the school unless it’s an absolute emergency. Running late? Your kid is waiting for you outside (they will bring the kids in if it’s super cold). And with the added responsibility of Patrol, his pickup time changes slightly depending on how many kids are crossing, how fast he checks in his equipment, etc. In short, the time is a little different EVERY. DAY.

2) We live in Minnesota, so “afterschool/outside school activities” means hockey. The “no parents” rule is similar for hockey practices and even most games. Parents are only allowed in the rinks if you need to help your kid get his gear on (my son is a goalie, so he still needs a little assist sometimes). You just drop them off outside or come in at the very last minute if they need help. This is very different than years past, where hockey culture frequently includes parents hanging out and helping out at practice (at least at this younger age).

3) Grandma moved into town.

I don’t believe my son is old enough to have a phone (he’s in 4th grade) but increasingly we found that we wanted him to be able to let us know when he was ready to go. He also started asking if he could walk to (his now fully vaccinated) Grandma’s house after school sometimes.

WALK?? ALONE??? I don’t consider myself to be a helicopter parent, and we live in a pretty safe community, but I also listen to a lot of true crime podcasts and occasionally panic about horrible potential scenarios. How do you balance that line between fear and teaching your kids fear, between safety and independence?

As it happened, right around this time of internal, moral debate, Apple Watch reached out to me to see if I could try the Family Setup feature. So they sent a (loaner) Apple Watch for us to try and, honestly, it really was transformative.

Features I Love the Most

Schooltime: From my phone I can set Schooltime hours, which makes the Apple Watch essentially only functional as time-piece during those hours. It does still track activity, but the majority of the features on the Watch go dormant. They can be accessed only temporarily during schooltime, for such things as emergency text or updates, but overall are “disabled” allowing for fewer distractions.

I was hesitant to send him to school with this watch on, but was actually thrilled to hear that my son’s teacher didn’t even notice he was wearing an Apple Watch: this meant it was not a distraction in class for him or anyone else.

Texting & Calls: As the parent, you control the contact list entirely. This is critical. With Family Setup your child cannot add any contacts to their list on their own. It is all controlled by the parent. I added friends and relatives we trust, not just for emergencies but so he could keep in touch on his own. He’s an only child, so having a cousin to “chat” with now and again is a lifeline.

He can also text via WiFi, but we found calls didn’t work great on WiFi to non-Apple numbers. You’ll want to add the Apple Watch to your cellular plan, which typically sets you back about $10/month when tacked onto an existing plan.

Emergency contacts are also an option: whomever you put on for emergency contacts can be contacted and called for under one minute without requiring a cellular plan.

Handwashing: There is actually a tracking device that shows if the kids have washed their hands long enough! WUT!

So, for the first time in his life, my son walked a few blocks on his own to his Grandma’s apartment after school. And, yes, I was using the tracking feature to see where he was.

Features My Son Loved the Most

I asked my son what his favorite parts of the watch are, beyond having more independence and he, like the kid he is, said:

I like the activity tracker. It’s fun to try to have a goal to reach for activity and get rewards when you complete certain things. There’s a cool planetary alignment feature where you can track the movement of the planets. And I like the easy communication with my family. Today, my dad was late picking me up and I was able to text both my parents, “Where are you?” Also, Memojis are cool. You can even have your Memoji wear a mask.

Calls and texts with family and friends: My mom put people like my grandma, aunts and uncles and even my cousins in California, on my contact list so I can check in with them sometimes without having to make a call on. my mom’s phone.

Conclusion

We’ll reluctantly send back this trial Apple Watch and I have to say, we’re putting it on the birthday wishlist now. Just a few weeks giving this new Family Setup a try and we are happy to see how much it’s allowed us to stay in touch, but not too in touch with a device that doesn’t distract with lots of screen-time. Unlike a phone, this watch isn’t heavy on the screen/game features (there are some) which for us is a win. Yes, the price-tag is higher than what you’d consider for a kid, but I do think it’s actually worth paying for, and the cost to add it to our plan is way more affordable than adding an additional line. Definitely worth considering for any parent who wants the right balance between freedom and worry.

Family Setup is supported in Apple Watch Series 4 or later with cellular, including the new Apple SE

Learn more at apple.com/watch

Special thanks to Apple for loaning us a watch to try out! All opinions expressed here are my own. 

—photos and words by Amber Guetebier

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Why I Parent from a Place of Love & Not Fear

By Razia Meer

 

Like many others before me, I became a mom not fully grasping the responsibility I was accepting. I knew I would be a loving parent, but I didn’t know that that would only entail half of it.

Next week will mark 3 years since my 7-day-old baby passed on, with tomorrow being his birthday. His life and death taught me more than all the other years of parenting my surviving children could possibly have given me.

After my son was diagnosed at 14 weeks in utero with congenital heart defects, I lived in a state of permanent panic. I worked, I cooked, I homeschooled my daughter, I went out, but the taste of fear was a constant in my throat, choking me.

The worst thing any expecting parent could have imagined came to pass with a 9 p.m. phone call telling me that my baby in the NICU was in distress. We raced over there immediately, but 45 minutes of trying to resuscitate him were all for naught.

Losing my last born son has not made me coddle my remaining two children. Surprisingly, it has given me more confidence as a mother. I know what it’s like to lose a child, and I no longer fear death.

My daughter started high school last year and my son graduates at the end of 2021 with hopes of pursuing a rather dangerous career of being a game ranger. And I am no longer the helicopter parent I once was.

When the worst imaginable thing has already happened, you realize quickly that nothing is in your control. And this leads to an inevitable shift in parenting st‌yles—at least it did for me!

Whereas before, I parented from a place of fear, worrying about bullying and hypothetical scenarios, overthinking all the things that could go wrong, and the amount of emotional trauma that children can be exposed to, now I don’t.

I still have moments of anxiety where I worry if my child made it safely through the school gates, but it’s no longer the type that causes paranoia or takes me to the school an hour early or makes me call the principal to check.

When parenting from a place of love, you see your children as separate, autonomous beings. They may lack maturity and experience, but they’re still whole human beings, not pieces of yourself. You can love them enough to let go.

And I know what you’re going to say, having children is like watching your heart walk around outside your body. Yes. Totally. But one of my external hearts has already left the building and I don’t want to smother the two that are left.

So here I am, parenting from a place of love, allowing them to grow into their own people with new dreams, hopes, and ambitions—stuff they didn’t get from us—and I refuse to be afraid anymore.

Razia Meer is a Managing Editor at women's magazine, AmoMama, and a mother of two teens and an angel baby. With a passion for homeschooling and building wells in African countries; when she is not educating, fundraising, or editing, she writes about cryptocurrencies, families, and canines - not in that order!

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