ML Interest Tag: peace

When My Toddler Makes Me Angry

By Evelyn Rountree

Photo: Evelyn Rountree of Love, mamãe

How is it possible to feel anger towards someone you (probably) love more than anything in the world?

When my kids make me angry, that feeling weighs on me more than any of the acts they did to actually get me to that point. So, how do you navigate this feeling when you are already so aware of your own emotions?

Understanding My Anger

I wish there was a moment in my life that would be the “cause” for me ever getting angry at my kids. But the truth is… there isn’t.

I get angry with my kids because I have a heart that beats and a brain that (luckily) functions. I have a body that gets exhausted from sleepless nights and endless chores. I get bored from the lack of adult interaction. There is a point when I just can’t bear changing another doll’s outfit. Or a baby diaper. Or making 7 meals a day.

And so, getting angry with my kids encompasses a daily ritual that sometimes is just Too. Freaking. Boring.

And let’s not confuse boring with “doing nothing.” You can do one thousand things per minute in your day and still feel drained. It doesn’t mean that it’s always boring. Not even that you’d like to be living differently. It simply means that right there, at the moment, you lack something.

What are you lacking in your own life that makes you angry at your kids from time to time?

For me, what I’m usually lacking is a combination of free time plus feeling guilty. Mom-guilt is my number #1 “issue” in my motherhood journey.

I have always been a “free-spirited” person. I would go out to eat at 11 p.m. at night if I wanted to, sometimes I would wake up early on a Saturday morning, pack a bag and start driving until I end up somewhere cool.

My husband and I had dates weekly, I was always surrounded by friends, life was loud and agitated.

The main thing I missed (and miss) is freedom. The freedom to just get up and leave. To grocery shop in peace. Heck, to use the bathroom in peace!

Once you become a mom, those things are gone for a while. And I’m still in the “while”.

And so, I’ve been slowly finding out what works for me.

1. I feel my anger. Give me a good 5 minutes to just be angry (away from the kids) and not try to simply “snap out of it”.

2. I validate my emotions. Taking a few seconds to really think “I am angry because this sucks” or “I am angry because I have just mopped and they threw crackers all over the floor again” and “I am angry because they didn’t sleep all night and now still refuse to nap” or “I am angry because I miss going out alone.” Those are very real reasons that a human being would get angry about.

3. I try not to trap myself into the “guilt” spiral. Things like, “There are moms with kids in the hospital and here I am angry at them for coloring on the walls” are not valid. True, it’s always good to acknowledge your blessings of having healthy, happy kids and a family to care for. But saying things like that invalidate your feelings and, therefore, you don’t work through them. You have a right to feel your emotions.

4. Do not act in anger. I don’t mean to sound cheesy, but this needs to be said. And that’s for everything, especially when it’s about your kids. I am sure you know this, but kids aren’t born malicious or manipulative. They are learning how to navigate through their own little feelings and it’s as hard for them as it is for you, if not more. It’s true, they do not understand WHY they can’t ask the same questions 300 times within a minute even after you’ve told them the answer.

So, for me, I take a beat. If I feel angry, I will step away and let myself feel angry. Cry if I have to. Scream if I need to. I will then come to them and explain, looking in their eyes, why I am angry. And crazy enough, they understand!

Just a few days ago, my almost 3-years-old girl and I had a bad day together. A combination of a bad night, no nap, and pouring rain lead to a difficult day to manage for us.

When my husband got home from work, he saw that we were just not in sync, so, he took her into her room, sat with her, and told her she could cry, scream, whatever she wanted. She was in there with him for a good 15 minutes just crying. And then…silence.

They both came out and she ran to me, and said: “I’m really sorry mommy, I’m ready to sleep now”.

While they were in the room and she was having a meltdown, I was out in the living room having a meltdown of my own. I cried and cried and just felt that anger. So by the time she was hugging me, I was squeezing her back saying “I’m sorry too, mommy is just super tired”.

You see…the both of us didn’t have a good day. It’s easy for me to forget that the tiny human yelling at me isn’t doing that to just make me angry and, while I’m having such a hard time myself, my almost 3-year-old little girl was getting pretty irritated with me too.

But in order for me to comprehend that, I had to first acknowledge, validate and allow my feelings to pour…so that I could let them go.

This post originally appeared on Love, mamãe.
feature image: Ryan Franco via Unsplash

I'm a stay-at-home mom to two toddlers, ages 3 and 1. Also a wife, a homemaker, business owner, and the heart behind the motherhood blog "Love, mamãe". My goal? To help mothers survive the toddler years with joy, grace, and sanity!

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Considering an Air Purifier? Here’s Everything You Need to Know

by Kenzie Kramer
Partner Content

From school to home—and everywhere in between!—parents are paying a lot of attention to air quality these days. And while there’s a whole big world out there, you can add a helpful device to breathe cleaner in your living space: an air purifier. Since you’re no stranger to wiping sticky hands, vacuuming endless cracker crumbs and tackling a plethora of household messes, this must-have gives your air a good cleaning too! Keep reading to get everything you need to know about in-home air purifiers:

Get your air purified today with Molekule.

 

How Do Air Purifiers Work?

Air purifiers work their magic by getting rid of odors, allergens, dust and other unwanted airborne substances. (Yep, there’s a whole bunch of stuff living with us we can’t even see!). The fan component sucks in air which is then forced out through a filter, trapping pollutants—some of which can cause adverse health effects or aggravate allergies and asthma. Simply put: dirty air in, clean air out. By minimizing contaminants, the quality of the air circulating around your home improves. How’s that for a breath of fresh air?

Cool! But Let’s Get Back to Those Pollutants… What Should the Air Filter Remove?

Sources of air pollution include: 

  • Particulate matter: This is a mix of solid particles and liquid droplets of differing sizes suspended in the air (think dust and dirt). Since PMs are so small, people often don’t notice they’re even breathing them in.
  • Volatile organic compounds (VOCs): These can be found in cleaning products, disinfectants, paints and solvents, aerosol sprays and pesticides. Not all VOCs are harmful to our health, but some may cause an allergic reaction for those with sensitivities. Although they evaporate at room temperature, they can quickly become part of the air that you breathe when using them.
  • Bioaerosols: Emitted or released from living beings, bioaerosols include mold, bacteria, viruses and allergens like pollen, dust mites and pet dander.

 

Get your air purified today with Molekule. Students, educators and first responders get a 15% discount code with SheerID verification.

Are All Air Purifiers Created Equal When It Comes to Cleaning Indoor Air?

Not all air purifiers can handle the same type of pollutants effectively. Molekule uses Photo Electrochemical Oxidation (PECO) technology to collect and destroy (through a light-activated chemical reaction) the widest range of pollutants in the air we breathe, compared to traditional air purifiers. PECO technology traps large particles and breaks down harmful pollutants to their most basic molecular components, including VOCs, mold, bacteria, viruses and allergens. Thanks to nanotechnology, PECO is able to destroy pollutants 1,000 times smaller than what HEPA standard tests for. Better yet, PECO meets rigorous performance criteria in FDA guidance for use in helping reduce risk of viral exposure to SARS-CoV-2, the COVID-19 virus. It’s important to note that while an air purifier can help reduce exposure, it should be combined with PPE and other countermeasures suggested by government authorities.

What Size Do I Need?

This depends on where you’re using it! A small office requires a different size than a large home. Molekule has several versions:

  • Molekule Air is for large rooms up to 600 sq. ft. (large bedrooms, living rooms, and family rooms)
  • Molekule Air Mini is for small rooms up to 250 sq. ft. (studio apartments, kids’ bedrooms, and home offices) 
  • Molekule Air Mini+ has the features of Air Mini with a couple of extras including a sensor to measure airborne particulate matter levels and Auto Protect mode to regulate fan speed for optimal air purification
  • Molekule Air Pro is for extra-large rooms up to 1000 sq. ft. (open floorplans or office settings)

Ready to say peace out, pollutants? With school on the horizon, now’s the perfect time for peace of mind that you’re improving the air your family breathes at home. 

Get your air purified today with Molekule. Students, educators and first responders get a 15% discount code with SheerID verification.

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The Cutest & Silliest Ways to Say Goodbye Before School

by Gabby Cullen

What we say when we kiss our kids goodbye can often fly under the radar when it comes to school mornings. But, even though the other stuff must come first (breakfast—check, lunch packed—check, shoes on feet—check!) those last-minute attributes are important, too. We asked parents all over the country for their daily traditions and collected our favorites! From creative silliness to classic kisses, scroll down to see them all.

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The Classic Kiss

While some parents end up with an unusual tradition, the classic kiss and “I love you, have a good day” hold strong.

A Hiccup

Totally unique and evolved out of SPOKE contributor Corey W and her kiddo's Kindergarten transition, the "hiccup" consists of "a high five, a kiss, and then I'd pick her up and hug her. We called it a 'hiccup' goodbye because the first letters of the first two steps and the last two letters of the last step seemed to spell it out!"

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A Reminder to Put on Their Listening Ears

From one mom who actually puts on her listening ears with her kid to other parents who gently remind their little ones to listen to their teachers, it's popular for mom and dad to instill the importance of paying attention. 

A Sweet Tradition

Red Tricycle's very own Ad Sales manager had a sweet school morning tradition with her own mom growing up, "every year before the first day of school, my mom would say the Shehecheyanu prayer (to celebrate something new) and always tell me to take the first step out of the house with my right foot."

A young boy wraps his arms around his smiling mother in affection
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Hugs, Hugs and More Hugs!

Some parents twirl their kids around in a hug, some give a tight squeeze at their kid’s eye level, and one mom had us giggling with her unique version: “Before my kids walk out in the morning, we give each other what we call a T-Rex hug. I put my elbows really close to my sides, extend my forearms at a 90-degree angle and awkwardly pat the arms of my children, while they do the same to me. Not all that affectionate, but it makes us giggle every time.”

Blow Kisses

A twist on the traditional, some parents and kids send out an airborne version of a kiss. We especially love the way one creative mom does it “We blow each other a kiss and catch the kiss, and rub it on our cheeks so we can keep it with us all day.”

Keep It Simple

Teacher Jill Hornstein shares her favorite: "A fist bump. The kids that have a simple ritual are the ones that come in ready and excited to learn. Parents should NOT walk their kids into school every day. Start from the beginning allowing them to be independent."

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A Secret Handshake

Writer Amber Guetebier says she and her son have developed a secret handshake, “We change them seasonally, and they are goofy. So after the love you's and hugs, we have a quick ‘handshake’ that says, I'll be here when you're done with this school thing."

A Good Start

Another way to start the day with affirmations is how SPOKE contributor Iliana Rosario-Urban does it, "Every morning during the school year I wake up before the boys and I write a positive note on the bathroom mirror so while they are brushing their teeth they can start their day with positive affirmations."

Affirmation Questions

The drop-off line is a great place to throw in last-minute positive reinforcement. From “Are you going to make someone smile?” and “Are you going to be confident?” to “Are you going to make good choices?” there’s no end to the ways you can remind kids of what they need to be doing each day. 

Love Signs

Signing the words “I Love You,” is a sweet and easy tradition to start. One mom, who has a difficult drop-off kid says “Peace Out!” while throwing up the peace sign out the car window. 

Coline Haslé via Unsplash

From the Heart

Mom Jesseca charmed us with her sweet goodbye tradition: “I draw a small heart on my hand, and one on my daughter’s. We 'charge' them by holding hands to drop off. Then if she needs extra love or encouragement during the day, she can press the heart for a boost.”

Rock Star Mornings

Mom Sara Schultz Borgstede doesn't draw hearts, she draws stars instead. "I draw a little star on their wrist because they are my rock stars!"

Power Jams

Yup, power jams are still, well, powerful. From one mom’s slightly shocking version, “I take musical requests on the way to school which usually means that I pull up to the Catholic school drop off with something very inappropriate like Gangsta's Paradise, Hypnotize (the clean version, of course) or California Love blasting from my minivan” to the most motivating songs around (Thunder, Born this Way, What About Us, etc.), kids love heading to the classroom with a killer beat and positive lyrics on the mind.

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Other Favorites

Readers and parents shared so many sweet goodbyes that we had to include a few more.

“Be kind, I love you.”

“You are an amazing kid! Go have an amazing day! “

“Eat, sleep, and play well! Learn something new!

“Te amo mi vida! Or I love you mi vida!”

"Every morning at drop-off, I race my son up the stairs at school. It's a "me and him" thing that leaves us both cracking up and energized for the day. He beats me every time." - SPOKE contributor Elizabeth Silva.

"My son goes to a Montessori school. Most of the rooms have different class pets. Every morning my husband and the kiddo stop into a different room to visit them before getting settled into his own class. The bluefish room is currently his favorite." - SPOKE contributor Elysa.

— Gabby Cullen with Amber Guetebier, Andy Huber, Maria Chambers, Ayren Jackson-Cannady, Beth Shea, Kate Loweth

 

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You Can Buy Flavored Bubbles & They Sound Straight Out of a Willy Wonka Movie

by Sarah Shebek

Things people never tell you about parenting #303: your kid might be more interested in eating bubbles than playing with them. Fortunately, there’s a new product on the market that makes that activity safe and fun! BubbleLick comes in a variety of flavors and it was invented by a pediatric allergist for peace of mind.

Adults might want to get in on the fun too with flavors like Milk Chocolate Chip, Cinnamon Roll and Watermelon Splash. The bubbles are manufactured with FDA-approved food additive ingredients and made in a FDA-registered and allergen-free facility in the U.S.

Founder Jason Tiger worked at the world’s largest bubble toy company and observed that most mass-produced bubbles are created in unmonitored manufacturing facilities, with chemicals that aren’t safe for cosmetic play. Tiger’s goal is to “reinvent and disrupt the bubble industry.” Parent company Bubble Universe also partners with Children’s Hospital Los Angeles to give back with every purchase.

If your curiosity is officially piqued, you can buy BubbleLick online. It’s currently available in a four pack of flavors with free shipping over $50. Snag your pack to make summer a little sweeter!

—Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Bubble Universe

 

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You Don’t Have to Share Your OREO Stash Thanks to This New Program

by Karly Wood

Sometimes the only moment of peace and relaxation in a parent’s life is the brief time we get to enjoy a cookie or two––unless it’s interrupted. Luckily for us, OREO wants to give parents back their much-needed treat time.

OREO is launching the OREO THINS Protection Program so that parents can be inspired to get creative and hide their goodies. They’ve paired up with Green Giant, Ford, Hanes and Better Homes & Gardens on a special collection only a parent can love.

The specially designed camouflaged packs mean you can hide your cookie stash out in the open. Each one resembles a common household item or product like a drivers manual, cookbook and more.

The genius packs won’t be available to shop in store but OREO THINS is giving fans the chance to win them! Share your sneaky efforts on how you hide your treats on OREO’s social channels starting today, Wed. Jul. 14 for a chance to win the camo packs and a grand prize of $25,000!

Use your personal Twitter or Instagram account to enter between now and Jul. 23. Official rules can be found here.

––Karly Wood

All photos: Courtesy of OREO

 

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6 Ways to Practice Self-Love Daily

By Jen Kathrina-Anne

Showing yourself some self-love can go a long way in strengthening your mental and emotional health and peace of mind. Here are six ways to practice self-love daily:

1. Realize That Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Say it with me: self-care is not selfish. It is you taking care of your basic needs and rights as a human being. It is about doing the little things that bring you joy and promote peace within you. None of us can pour from an empty cup.

2. Forgive Yourself for past Mistakes
Sometimes we carry the weight of our past decisions and actions into our present. While thinking about the past is important to give us clarity and perspective, it’s important not to beat ourselves up. Today is always a chance to do better and to learn from mistakes, not to dwell in regret. Be kind to yourself.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Any Emotion 
Every day we will feel many different emotions. It’s ok to not feel ok, as they say. Allow your negative emotions to pass over and through you without guilt and the need to be “happy” all the time. Realize that feeling any and all of your emotions is a normal part of being human.

4. Limit News & Social Media
While it’s certainly important to know what’s happening in the world, there is such a thing as too much information. We are inundated daily by news reports and everyone else’s opinion about all of it. Try to limit your intake to a reasonable amount per day and maybe even consider taking one day per week to detox completely from media.

5. Declutter Your Space 
Sometimes we let clutter take over without even realizing it. Many times physical clutter can represent mental clutter. When we take the time to declutter our space, it contributes to mental decluttering and a more relaxed atmosphere.

6. Get Out in Nature
Humans are not meant to be cooped up all day. Do yourself a favor and get outside for fresh air even if it means just standing on your front porch. Fresh air, sunshine, and greenery go a long way in perking up your mood!

 

 

This post originally appeared on The Haute Mommy Handbook.

Jen Kathrina-Anne is a blogger, freelance writer, and graphic designer. When she’s not writing or designing, she enjoys spending time outdoors in the California Bay Area where she resides with her husband and two fearless daughters. Find her at www.hautemommyhandbook.com.

 

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It’s Luigi Time! LEGO Just Dropped Brand New Sets Made for 2-Player Fun

by Karly Wood

What’s more fun than playing with a fresh batch of LEGO bricks? How about playing with a friend? (Because let’s be honest, you need some peace and quiet this summer.)

LEGO has just announced a brand new experience that brings together your fave video game brothers for some two-player fun. LEGO Mario and brand new LEGO Luigi are the ultimate duo for social play and using your imagination as you craft new brick adventures! Keep scrolling to see how.

Kids can embark on two-player adventures when they connect LEGO Mario and LEGO Luigi via Bluetooth, then perform coordinated actions like jumping, working together and walking. Collect coins, share rewards, defeat goombas and race to the finish line!

LEGO Luigi ($59.99) joins the popular LEGO Super Mario lineup of sets and is available in a starter course that has everything you need to get started. Not only is LUIGI finally get his own building set, but LEGO is adding plenty more products that will take your Mario World to the next level.

LEGO is adding four new Expansion Sets, two new Power-Up Packs and ten new Character Packs. All the sets can be used in solo play, connected to an existing set and for two-player fun.

Starting today, you can already pre-order Bowser’s Airship Expansion Set ($99.99), which can be crafted in both flying and course mode and will put the Mario Bros. to the test. Additional products coming soon include:

The remaining sets are all coming Aug. 1, with the Luigi Start Course and Browser’s Airship available for pre-order now. Head to lego.com to place your order!

––Karly Wood

All photos: Courtesy of LEGO

 

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Dear White Allies

By Natalie Fuertes

Photo: istock

It’s been over a week since the murder of George Floyd. Are you tired? I’ve seen a lot of you say that the weight of the nation is exhausting right now—the anger, the sadness, the confusion, the constant news updates. The fear that you’re going to say or do something wrong sits heavy on your chest. I ask you to sit with that weight, that exhaustion, that vulnerability. It’s so important to do so now more than ever. Why? Because that’s the weight that our black community has been carrying alone for decades. It’s time to carry that burden with them.

The way that you’re questioning every move you make, every word you say, is what POC have to do every day. Those little things build up. Do you text your friend the night before a job interview to ask them if you should straighten your hair because you’re afraid you won’t get the job if you wear it natural? Do you hide your bottle of water before you walk into a store because you’re afraid they’ll think you stole it? Have you ever had to talk to your kids about what to do if they ever get arrested? And those are just the small, everyday things. But they build up.

I’m probably in the minority when I say this, but now is the time for uplifting, hopeful messages. I’m seeing a lot of you say, “We need some goodness in our lives right now.” And while it’s good for everyone’s mental health to carve out some moments of peace for yourself, so that you can smile even just for a second, it’s important that we sit in the hurt, discomfort, and overwhelm right now. Why? Because if we don’t, then this fire that we all feel right now is just going to burn out. We’re going to go back to our everyday lives after a few days of posting meaningful quotes and this will just be another protest that goes nowhere. We owe it to the black community to feel uncomfortable right now.

So I encourage you to spend some time in the dark. In the hurt. In the pain. In the confusion. In the sadness. In the anger.

Natalie Fuertes is the owner of Industry Gymnastics, a gymnastics facility in NYC that focuses on creating a space that is welcoming to all children, regardless of race, gender identity, or sexual-orientation. She is a proud Nuyorican, racial justice advocate, wife, and mama of two. 

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Here’s How to Get $20 By Using Amazon’s In-Garage Delivery

by Erica Loop

Amazon is making it easier to get your groceries delivered! The e-tailer recently announced the expansion of Key by Amazon In-Garage Grocery Delivery to more than 5,000 cities and towns across the country.

After a trial of In-Garage Grocery Delivery that started in five cities last November, Amazon has upped the ante and given millions of Prime members the chance to use this super-simple service. Now you can get your faves from Whole Foods Market or Amazon Fresh delivered into the safety and security of your home’s garage.

photo courtesy of Amazon

Pete Gerstberger, Head of Key by Amazon, said in a press release, “Customers who tried Key In-Garage Grocery Delivery have loved the service, which is why we’re expanding it to everywhere Amazon offers grocery delivery.” Gerstberger added, “As customers look for more convenience in their daily lives, we’re excited to deliver another service that not only helps them save time, but provides peace of mind knowing that tonight’s dinner is safe in their garage and out of the weather.”

To use this convenient service, eligible Prime members can shop While Foods or Amazon Fresh online. You must have a compatible garage door opener or myQ Smart Garage Hub ($30) and the myQ app with Key. Select “Key Delivery” at checkout to complete your order.

For more info, visit Amazon here! For a limited time eligible customers can get a $20 Amazon credit after the first In-Garage delivery order.

—Erica Loop

 

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3 Tips for Veggie-Averse Toddlers

By Dr. Nicole Avena

Photo: Little Dish

Feeding toddlers is not for the faint of heart. As parents, most of us have experienced the anxiety and frustration that often comes at meal time. Whether it’s a busy schedule or a toddler who refuses to eat, meals can be downright stressful. Yet, at the same time, we feel pressure to provide our kids with the important nutrients they need to grow and thrive. This means a diet that includes a wide variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and dairy foods.

The biggest struggle often comes with two v-words: vegetables and variety. In fact, eight out of ten toddlers don’t eat enough vegetables. And the vegetables our toddlers eat typically lack variety. How many of us regularly throw a few raw baby carrots on our child’s plate because we know they’ll be eaten? In our busy world, it’s easy to fall into a feeding rut.

So, how do we support variety and vegetable consumption during the important toddler years? The key is having a few different tricks up our sleeves because toddlers are notorious for changing preferences overnight. One day they love broccoli, the next day they hate it. Here are some tried-and-true techniques designed to make veggie variety simple and give parents some peace of mind during those challenging phases.

Make Old Favorites in New Ways

One great way to increase the variety of vegetables in your family’s diet is by introducing favorite veggies in new ways. For example, if your child loves mashed potatoes, give mashed squash a try. If that goes well, try squash ravioli and then finally, roasted squash. Similarly, when introducing new vegetables, prepare them in a variety of textures—for example, roasted broccoli, cream of broccoli soup, broccoli & cheese scrambled eggs. This introduces the flavors in several ways and gives children a chance to develop their palettes and acceptance of the new taste.

Make Veggies Easy

Vegetables can be a logistical challenge at times—they’re perishable and require washing, chopping, and cooking. Make them a little easier by finding some shortcuts that work for your family. For example, wash and chop some vegetables on Sunday to keep on-hand for snacks throughout the week. Keep frozen vegetables in your freezer for quick use. Identify some healthy, veggie-rich short-cuts for busy nights. One great example is Little Dish. These fresh, all-natural, refrigerated heat-and-serve toddler meals offer a full serving of veggies in each bowl. Little Dish is now available locally through Fresh Direct.

When All Else Fails, Hide Those Veggies

During those difficult times when your child is downright refusing new foods or eating only a few different foods—don’t stress! This is a phase and will pass. That said, sneaking in extra veggies during times like this will often give mom and dad some peace of mind. Some of my family’s favorite ideas include: 

  • Adding canned pureed pumpkin to our favorite chicken noodle soup recipe. It blends right in and adds a great kick of nutrients and fiber. 
  • Finely dice mushrooms and add them to chili or tacos. Their savory “umami” flavor is often completely masked by the spices. 
  • Add shredded zucchini into your meatloaf or meatball recipes! This trick also keeps the meat tender and moist because zucchini has a high water content.

Finally, remember it takes time for children to learn to love new foods. Just keep offering them and eventually, they’ll likely stop playing with their veggies and start eating them!

A research neuroscientist and expert in nutrition, diet and addiction. Dr. Avena is an Asst. Professor of Neuroscience at Mount Sinai Medical School in NYC. She is the author of several books, including Why Diets Fail, What to Eat When You’re Pregnant, and What to Feed Your Baby & Toddler.

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