ML Interest Tag: persistent

Worried about Your Picky Eater? Here’s 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

By Saskia Sorrosa

Photo: avitalchn via pixabay

Before your kiddos start playing doctor, you’ve already mastered the art of that role yourself. You may not have a plastic stethoscope, but from the minute your little one was born, you’ve been paying attention to their heartbeat and trying your best to notice symptoms and form diagnoses.

You don’t want your judgment to be the end-all, be-all—but you do hope that you have it right at least two out of three times because the biggest question you’re asking is: does my little one need to go to a doctor?

Our expert, Amy Shapiro MS, RD, CDN of Real Nutrition NYC thinks there are some things you can do to help your little one who is scared of new foods. For instance, giving little ones positive, stress-free feelings around meal time can give them something positive to mimic and replace any anxiety with.

But, what happens when picky eating becomes something you’re starting to lose sleep over? We’ve compiled three questions to ask yourself to help figure out how to best address the “no food other than french fries” mantra.

1. When did the picky eating start?

I know it feels like you’ve been living this journey for a million years, but actually taking a few minutes to think back to your earliest recollection of picky eating can help you determine whether it may be a phase or whether it could be indicative of a larger, more chronic issue.

If your little one has always had trouble taking in new foods, it could be less picky eating and more about trouble chewing or moving his or her jaw in a specific way. An article from The New York Times noted how one little one was able to nix picky eating (and gain weight) once he started seeing a speech therapist that helped him learn how to use his jaw and mouth better.

2. Is the “yes” food list getting smaller and smaller?

Parents.com dubs this one of their top red flags when it comes to your picky eater and we have to agree. If your determined kiddo keeps shrinking the list of foods they will eat, it may be time to tap in your pediatrician for some extra guidance. Understanding why your child is triggered by texture, colors, or tastes, can help your medical team nail down the kind of plan you can then implement at home. We know that our word of the year is repetition, but we encourage to pursue it once the right foundation is in place.

3. Does eating spark persistent anxiety?

There’s a difference between snubbing broccoli because it isn’t a piece of pineapple and becoming anxious when they’re around food or being afraid to go on playdates for food-related reasons. While it may be hard to say out loud what behavior seems more consistent with your little one, doing so can help you and the medical support team around you figure out whether it’s time to invite therapists into the mix.

We know none of these questions are easy to ask yourself let alone answer with your little one in mind, but doing so could be the difference maker between not knowing where the frustrating mealtimes are stemming from and knowing how to better navigate them. Baby steps, yours and theirs will (and can) make a difference.

I'm the Founder & CEO of Fresh Bellies baby food brand. I've won foodie awards, pitched to Shark Tank and appeard on Forbes and CNBC. Originally from Guayaquil, Ecuador, I live in New York with my husband, Fernando and daughters, Isabella and Alexa Luna.

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5 Simple Ways to Show the Love to Your Little Ones on Valentine’s Day

By Rebecca Parlakian

Counting down from five, check out these strategies for launching this “love-ly” month with your little one.

5. Make everyday routines special.

When my kids were toddlers, they loved it when I ran the bath, switched on a few flashlights (far from their little hands) and turned off the overhead light. We called it a “Spooky Bath.” Even now, when I don’t want to do dishes, we have a “picnic”—and sit on a blanket in the living room eating off paper plates. These little moments, even though they happen only once in a while, have become some of their favorite memories.

4. Notice what makes your child special—and tell them.

“I love how you found that tiny little bug on the sidewalk. I would have missed it if you didn’t show me.” Or: “I noticed how you really stuck with that puzzle. You are really persistent—I appreciate that about you.”

3. Show yourself some love!

I know this list is supposed to be all about the kids, but hear me out: I’ve learned that I need to work hard to silence the voice in my head that’s constantly telling me how I messed up dealing with the last tantrum or that I’m  not a great mom or that I fail at parenting because I lack the patience of Mary Poppins.

I’m learning to treat myself like I’d treat a friend: everyone messes up. Take a deep breath and try again. That child loves you and you love her. So you had a misstep. It’s the next step that matters. Yes, re-programming yourself is hard. But a healthier parent is a more peaceful parent. And more peace means you have more head space for enjoying life with your little one.

2. Give your child a sense of family connection.

Share pictures and tell stories about you as a child—stories about growing up, your siblings and your childhood adventures (my kids’ favorite story is about when I fell and broke my arm in 5th grade and rode in an ambulance). Not close to your family? Share stories of friends and mentors. Help your child see that they are part of something bigger.

1. Focus on the long game.

It’s easy to get caught up in daily struggles, stresses and worries. But focusing on the long game means remembering that there is only one thing your child really needs: You. This doesn’t mean you can’t set a limit. This doesn’t mean you need to give your child a million toys and a pony. But it does mean that you are there when you’re with them, you notice and respond to their cues, you comfort when comforting’s needed and you listen (even to long recaps of Paw Patrol).

These moments are the long game, because they help you build a relationship with your child that will stay strong way past the baby and toddler years.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

This post originally appeared on ZERO TO THREE.

As a mom, I know parenting has joys and challenges. As a child development expert, I take the research and science on the first three years and make it work for real parents. That’s the magic at ZERO TO THREE, where our focus is giving young children a strong start. 

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How Much Homework Help Should You Give Your Kids?

by Erica Loop

Your kiddo comes home, tosses their backpack down and takes what could easily be three hours’ worth of homework out and throws it onto the kitchen table. Oh, and they’re only in second grade. You, being the ever-loving mama that you are, offer to help in any way you can (that is if you can figure out the math equations that your 7-year-old is supposed to know how to do). Even though you might think you’re only doing good for your little learner, a new study found that maternal homework help may have negative consequences.

The study, published in the journal Learning and Instruction, looked at 365 children in grades 2 through 4. Researchers found a connection between mothers (not just parents or caregivers, but mothers specifically), the type of help they offer and what is considered “task-persistence.” Task-persistence refers to exactly what you would think—the ability of the child to persist while working on the task at hand.

Photo: pixabay.com

As it turns out, the mothers that gave more help had children with less task-persistent behaviors. That means the more work the mamas did, the less their kids tried. This, kind of obviously, made the mothers work even harder to help. But the mothers who helped the least and gave their children the chance to work independently seemed to foster higher degrees of task-persistence. Hmm.

While the researchers don’t have an exact reason for their findings, it’s thought that offering too much help may send the wrong message. Basically, helping your child with their homework all the time may be saying, “You can’t do it alone, so I have to step in and do it for you.”

So what should you do? Help or not help? When it comes down to it, each child is an individual. While this study certainly brings up an interesting point, you need to do what’s right to meet YOUR child’s needs.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: pexels.com

RELATED STORIES:

Google Wants to Help Kids With Their Homework in the Best Way

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I’m Raising A Sour Patch Kid

By Kelly Crockett

You know what I mean, right?

“First they’re sour…Then they’re sweet.”

The first time I saw one of those commercials I instantly thought, hooooooly crap, that is Cruz.

He can literally be the sweetest child known to man; he’ll give hugs and kisses and shower me in spontaneous “I love yous” all day long.

But then…when I’m least expecting it…Sour Sour Patch Kid materializes and rains damnation on everything in its path, myself (…and Tom, and Mikki) included.

From day one he’s been the poster-child for strong-willed (a.k.a “Spirited” — ha, nice try attempting to make it sound pleasant…) children:

High energy, intense emotions, crazy mood shifts, and oh.so.freaking.stubborn. It’s actually quite worrying, because I’ve seriously thought on more than one occasion that Stalin was probably very similar to Cruz when he was a toddler…

I bring this up not to belittle my son or to whine and complain (like I tend to do…), but to maybe just concede the fact that I’m actually having a really hard time parenting him. Don’t get me wrong, he is insanely smart and kind and thoughtful and lovable, but there are also days when he makes me want to jump in front of a bus.

Is anyone else feeling this way?

It seems like whenever I look around all I see are quiet and docile children everywhere. Why is mine the only one shrieking at the top of his lungs because I gave him the red straw and not the green one? How come my kid is the only one kicking me in the shins because he couldn’t get his arm in the arm hole of his shirt?

He hits. He tantrums. He talks back (ie: You can’t put me in timeout…You can’t spank me…You can’t [insert just about anything here]).

He does all of the things I swore my child would never do.

Shows how much I knew, huh?

But I swear to you, I am not an absentee parent. We discipline the crap out of this kid, and nothing seems to curb the inappropriate behavior. We have a rule chart. We do timeout. We’ve tried spanking. We take TV away. We praise good behavior. I’m a stay at home parent who cares very much about the well-being of her child; trust me, I’m putting in the man-hours attempting to raise a decent human being.

This is why it’s so frustrating that nothing we do seems to reign-in the nasty stuff. This is why I feel demoralized on a daily basis when I get judgmental stares from strangers (and non-strangers) after my son manhandles me in public.

I know that all toddlers can be mini-Hitlers, I understand that. But when does it end? Is there a light at the end of this tunnel, or are we going off the rails on this crazy train?!

I am 100% confident (I feel like I’m on the Maury Show spouting off such a baseless guarantee…) that my son will turn out just fine; it’s often said that the traits strong-willed kids possess are golden once they become adolescents and adults (somebody back me up on that one…).

It’s not that I’m worried about him turning into a serial killer or anything like that, but I do worry about 1. my ability to instill in him compassion and respect for others (especially adults and authority figures, parents included) and 2. finding a way to assert my parental authority without crushing his spirit.

Because I love my little spirited gremlin.

I love that he is persistent and tough and knows what he wants. I love that he’s passionate and energetic and curious about the world around him. I don’t want to become so frustrated by a few of the things he does that I end up putting out his fire. I’ve seen parents, who whether out of fear or exhaustion or impatience, just parent way too hard. I’ve had days when I’ve said things to Cruz I should never have said, in ways I shouldn’t have said them, all because I was tired and angry. He’s still at an age where he forgives and forgets pretty quickly, but as time goes on bitter words end up sowing bitter feelings until they lead to nothing short of resentment.

I don’t want that.

Anyway, I’m not entirely sure what the point of this post is. It’s not like I’m offering some kind of parenting solution, and to be completely honest I’m not really looking for parenting advice.

I think I just needed to give voice to my internal struggle as I attempt to figure out what will work best for us. And maybe…just a little teensy bit…I’m seeking validation from even one person who can commiserate with me as we navigate the ugly side of this awesome journey that is parenting.

Annnnnd because I know some wise guy out there (namely my own mother…) is waiting to say it…Yes…I know it will only get worse once I have a teenager…

Beat ya to it.

I'm a native of Michigan, a vagabond of the western U.S., and now an expat in Shanghai, China. I mom (yeah...that's a verb), I IRONMAN, I travel, and I'm attempting to master Mandarin. Expat life with two kidlets is crazy, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

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Never Too Late To Go Organic: Nicole Bernard Dawes

by writerredtri

We’re teaming up with Blue Shield of California to celebrate local Bay Area moms who have inspired us to seek healthy, balanced lives.  This week, meet  Nicole Bernard Dawes, CEO and Co-Founder of Late July Organics.

They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and Nicole is no exception.  Co-Founder of Late July Organics, (and daughter to the late Cape Cod chips founder, Steve Bernard), Nicole’s passion for natural and organic food was instilled at a young age.  She’s on a mission to ensure families have access to healthy choices – and Nicole’s unstoppable!

Red Tricycle:  You’re part of a group of moms that are on a serious mission.  What’s yours?
Nicole Dawes:   My mission is to create a brand that ensures future generations of families will always have access to delicious, wholesome food free from GMOs, toxic persistent pesticides and antibiotics.

RT:  You’re definitely on your way, but looking back, what was your inspiration?
ND: My passion for the natural and organic food industry began on the counter of my mother’s natural food store in the 1970s. However, it was while pregnant with my first son in 2002 that this passion turned into a business!  Unable to find the organic crackers I was craving, I discovered that while organic produce and dairy were widely available, there were almost no delicious organic snacks!

RT:  So your kids have been involved in healthy, organic eating since the womb?
ND:  Actually, my kids are the inspiration behind all of Late July’s products and I would never create a product that my own kids don’t love!  We use our kitchen to whip up homemade tortilla chips and experiment with new recipe ideas. In fact we’re testing some tonight! I want them to be proud of the company they are helping to build!

RT:  I’m sure they’ve said some pretty hilarious things while you’re whipping up new snacks in the kitchen together, right?
ND:  My ten year old has become quite the little salesman. One time he encountered a pretty tough customer and after some banter, the man finally asked, “Do you make anything else?”  My son quickly replied, “Yes! We make tickets” and ran to get my business card.  The man let down his guard, they exchanged cards and he actually became a customer!  My son has had his own cards ever since.

RT:  You’ve created a tremendously successful organic snacks business.  Any advice that may inspire others to get involved with organics?
ND:  Believing and being passionate about a cause or mission is where you begin your journey but having someone you trust to help and guide you through the rough patches, and there will be rough patches, is invaluable.

Be Like Nicole!  Blue Shield of California’s Wellness Challenge:
“Get your kids cooking in the kitchen,” says Nicole, “my kids love to help me cook, so kid-sized and kid-safe cooking tools are essential.  I bought these adorable fish shaped measuring spoons at The Tyler Florence Shop in Mill Valley that always get my son excited to help. That store has a fun selection of kid’s cooking tools.”

Blue Shield of California is an independent member of the Blue Shield Association.

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