Passing Resilience to Our Children

By James Webb

June 21, 2021

Photo: Melissa Askew on Unsplash

I was recently asked about my story and if I could pass one thing on to my children, what would it be? Without hesitation, I said, it would be a work ethic built around resilience.

That one word, resilience, has been the cornerstone of my life, and I want it to be a foundation for all my children throughout their lives as well.

I was born to two high schoolers who fell in love a little too early. Raised in a small town in poor conditions, I watched my dad work 60 hours a week to put food on the table and saw my mom work part-time while raising three little boys. She eventually worked her way through college and became a nurse, and then a nurse practitioner long after I had moved on.

In high school, my dad started his own company, but due to a skimming accountant, the IRS shut him down. Without hesitation, he got a job and paid every penny he owed to the IRS and his business vendors. My dad could have quit, but he did not.

I watched both my parents demonstrate a tremendous work ethic built around getting back up and finding a way. That’s resilience.

In my own life, I’ve worked hard and achieved dreams I never thought possible. But my own version of resilience—demonstrated to my children—is personal. In 2011, my wife and my sons’ mom, was unexpectedly diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She had no symptoms. There were no signs. In 36 hours, our entire world changed.

I spent the next five months with her while caring for our boys as she went through treatment. Most of it was experimental and produced no positive result. And on the exact day she was dismissed from MD Anderson Cancer Center and told to go home—there was no hope left—I was diagnosed with stage 2-3 renal cancer.

Knowing she needed me and knowing my children and family needed me, I did not do chemotherapy as recommended. I simply had the doctors open me up and remove the tumor, kidney, and anything else that looked bad.

I walked out of the hospital after 19 hours to be with my wife and my boys. She made it six more days, with her family, and me, by her side until the end.

Without question, that was the saddest day of my life and in the lives of my children.

But when looking back on it, I am proud of the fact that I was able to, if not forced to, demonstrate extreme resilience. Nine years later, my children are doing great and are super achievers in their own right. I’ve also chosen to move on with my life and have created a beautiful, blended family with a wonderful woman and mother. My children and her children are close, and my deceased wife’s family have totally embraced us all with complete love.

You see, resilience is not just about getting back up after getting knocked down. Resilience is also about getting up, finding a new path, and moving forward to ultimately achieve your goals and dreams. That is the true lesson I learned, and one that I hope I’ve demonstrated and given to my children.

James Webb

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

James' life is the American dream in a nutshell. Born to teenage parents in Laurel, MS & faced with a future working in one of the town's two factories, James chose to change his fate and forge his own path–to become a wildly successful entrepreneur.

15 Things Every Daughter Needs to Hear from Her Dad

by Kipp Jarecke-ChengJune 17, 2021

Dads often serve as the first male role models for their daughters, shaping a girl’s worldview of how men interact with those around them, how they process (or don’t process) their emotional selves, and how they show what they truly value. The things father figures do with their daughters are important, of course, but what’s arguably just as important are the things they say. We asked around and gathered 15 things every daughter should hear from her dad. Keep reading to see them all.

1. You can grow up to be anything you want to be.
Despite all of the progress that has been made in breaking down social and economic barriers for women around the world, studies show that gender roles persist and continue to be established at a very early age for both girls and boys. Fathers can help to combat the straitjacketing effect of gender roles on girls by reminding our daughters that they can grow up to become whatever they set their minds on, even President of the United States.

2. It's okay to ask for help.
Studies have shown that most men don't want to or don't know how to ask for help because they've been taught it's a sign of weakness to need assistance. But, if you show that you aren't afraid to reach out for advice, knowledge or guidance, you'll be able to teach your daughter how to do the same.

3. Your mother/father is my best friend.
Modeling a strong and positive relationship with your spouse directly affects the kinds of relationships that children pursue with their friends and peers now as well as later in life. Daughters with fathers who respect and cherish their spouses will mirror that behavior in the relationships that they have in their childhood and beyond.

4. Do what makes you happy.
Your daughter will see you go to work every day, follow your hobbies and passions. It's important that she knows life isn't just about how much money you make or how many winning teams you're on, but if you're happy while it's happening.

5. I'm here for you, always.
Kids need to know that they can count on you, even when they're teenagers. You want your daughter to ask you about boys and other grown-up stuff because you've been there.

6. I’m sad.
Don’t be afraid to let your daughter know when you’re feeling down. Studies have shown a direct correlation between a parent’s ability to express emotion and a child’s social competence. A parent’s expression of positive emotion toward his child is generally associated with better social development for the child. Conversely, a parent’s negative emotional expression and poor social development can adversely impact the emotional and social development of a child.

7. Let me tell you a secret.
Share a secret with your daughter. She’ll appreciate your candor and vulnerability. And maybe she’ll share a secret of her own with you.

8. Let’s play football.
As adults, we sometimes forget that play is an essential part of childhood. For dads, we can sometimes feel more comfortable rough-housing with our sons, but our daughters want to get in on the action, too. For fathers of daughters, there’s no reason why we can’t toss a football with our daughters.

9. Do you want ice cream for dinner?
Sometimes having ice cream for dinner is the right answer to any question.

10. What do you think?
When you ask your daughter for advice, you show that her opinion matters and that you respect her. Plus, you might be surprised by her answers and be able to look at a problem with a fresh perspective.

11. I’m so grateful that I get to be your dad.
In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to forget to express gratitude. Letting our daughters know how lucky and proud we are to be their dad can remind them that we are there for them and that we don’t take our role for granted.

12. What do you want to do?
Ask your daughter what she wants to do on a father-daughter date. There are plenty of ideas to choose from.

13. Never let anyone pressure you.
Whether it's bullying another kid, breaking the rules, or being talked into doing something physical she doesn't want to do, daughters need to truly understand that she's got the power to say no and walk away at any time.

14. I am so proud of you.
Kids need to hear that their parents are proud of their accomplishments, no matter how trivial it may seem.

15. I love you.
Tell your daughter that you love her every day. Tell her multiple times a day. Tell her even when she thinks it’s corny. Tell her because you do.

— Kipp Jarecke-Cheng with Gabby Cullen

Featured image: iStock

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American Girl’s Newest Guide Has a Timely Focus On Race & Inclusion

by Sarah ShebekJune 15, 2021

What is systemic racism, or anti-racism? Tough questions that even adults can struggle to answer. American Girl has released a new advice book, A Smart Girl’s Guide: Race & Inclusion that will help readers 10 and up understand these concepts and more, plus help normalize the conversation around race.

You can buy the book online today for $12.99 and the it’s more than 100 pages, with full-color illustrations, tips, quizzes and challenges. It’s written by Deanna Singh, a highly respected thought leader and diversity and inclusion expert. Plus it benefits from expert advisors who reviewed the manuscript: Traci Baxley, Ed.D., a professor of multicultural education and curriculum and instruction at Florida Atlantic University; and Deborah Rivas-Drake, Ph.D., a professor of education and psychology at the University of Michigan, who works to disrupt racism and xenophobia.

“We’re proud to add Race & Inclusion to our popular Smart Girl’s Guide series, which has served as a trusted resource for our readers and their families for nearly three decades,” said Jamie Cygielman, General Manager of American Girl. “It’s our hope that the age-appropriate information and real-life guidance found in the book will be an important step for all those seeking to create a more compassionate world where everyone is treated fairly and with respect.”

Today’s release is part of American Girl’s commitment to engage more diverse voices and create new content to help advance racial equality. Among other initiatives, the brand recently launched Conversations for Change, a series that amplifies young women of various backgrounds and experiences making a difference in their communities. American Girl strives to help girls be their best and this new book will certainly make a difference!

––Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of American Girl

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Dear Daughters, I Saw Your Struggles This School Year

By Jamie Edelbrock

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

June 7, 2021

Photo: Anton Shuvalov on Unsplash

Dear Daughters,

This week is the last week of school before summer break begins, and what a year it has been. During a global pandemic, online school, and several hardships, you made it.

This school year was rough. You spent the school year at home, working on makeshift desks. Your schoolwork was scattered around your bedroom floors instead of in lockers or cubbies. You couldn’t stand side by side with your friends during concerts, plays, and performances. There have been no laughter-filled cafeterias, crowded hallways, trips to the school library, or bumpy field trip bus rides.

Your teachers worked with you through computer screens and zoom squares, your counselors supported you, and your peers wanted to be with you. However, I was the lucky one to see you in person every day this school year.

I saw all of you overcome social anxiety and show your face on zoom. I saw you make new friends and include the ones that were left out. I saw you stand up for yourself when you were mistreated. I saw you advocate for yourself, block bullies, and speak up. I saw you work hard even when not feeling up to it. I saw you overcome stage fright to sing your song and act in your play. I saw you try new foods and conquer new recipes. I saw you fix broken technology, read new books, and learn new languages. I saw you gain patience as you worked through frustrating assignments. I saw you come up with practical solutions for tough projects. I saw you become best friends with each other. I saw you swallow your pride, and you ask when you needed help. I saw you take breaks when you needed peace. I saw you keep going when you wanted to give up. I saw you help around the house without being asked, and I saw you take pride in your personal space. With our home as your classroom, I got to see you grow smarter, wiser, and kinder every day.

The solitude was unfair, and I am sorry there are no in-person ceremonies or celebrations with certificates. Your achievements deserve to be celebrated. So, as you close your laptops one last time this school year, know that if it were up to me, dear daughters, you would win the award for resilience, and you would get honors in strength and a medal for perseverance.

You will never forget this school year; it was unlike any other. As you prepare for in-person school again, I hope that you hold your mom-given accolades in your heart. For they hold lessons of bravery wrapped in love, and they shaped you into who you are now. Stronger, braver, brighter, and ready for whatever comes next. I am proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself too.

I love you.

—Mom

This post originally appeared on www.jamieedelbrock.com.

Jamie Edelbrock

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Jamie is married to her high school sweetheart and has three beautiful daughters. Through years of experience working with children, and raising her own, she knows how difficult parenting can be. She is an advocate for children's mental health and is best known for her creativity, optimism, and kind heart.

Disney’s New Musical Series Aims to Educate Kids on Race & Social Justice

by Sarah ShebekMay 20, 2021

Current events aren’t always easy to navigate as an adult, let alone as a child. That’s why Disney Junior just announced the launch of the new animated short series Rise Up, Sing Out.

The series aims to present critical concepts around race, racism and social justice for a pint-sized audience and will use music-based shorts to make the message resonate. To make the series even more impactful, Disney has recruited the talents of Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson and Tariq “Black Thought” Trotter of the Grammy Award winning musical group, The Roots.

In a joint statement the two musicians said, “It is an honor to work with the Disney Junior team to help create a series of shorts that will empower and uplift the future generations in the way we know best, through music. We hope these shorts will encourage the young audience to recognize and celebrate our differences as human beings while learning the tools to navigate real-world issues of racial injustice.”

That’s not all—The Conscious Kid, an organization dedicated to equity and healthy racial identity development is serving as a consultant on the series and plans to develop a viewing companion guide for parents. Latoya Raveneau, who is involved with the upcoming The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder will serve as executive producer.

You’ll be able to watch later this year on all Disney Junior platforms.

—Sarah Shebek

Image courtesy of Disney Junior

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How I’m Helping to Change Books for the Better

By Holly Hatam

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

May 17, 2021

Photo: iStock

By the time I was seven years old, I had experienced racism. Growing up as a person of color in the 80s and in the small town of Ajax, Ontario, I quickly became aware that I was different. Not only did I feel invisible at school, but also when reading books and watching TV. I never saw myself in the characters, which made me feel that much more unimportant.

I felt ugly—always wishing I could change the way I look—so much so that out of desperation, I tried to bleach my hair blonde with lemon juice. I was 13 years old. I was ashamed and embarrassed about being Iranian and hid a lot of myself. I stayed quiet and tried to blend in as much as I could. I became an extremely shy kid—who turned into an adult with anxiety. That anxiety is amplified because of the color of my skin. I’ve lived in Canada almost my whole life, but I still don’t feel fully welcome.

Art was always my safe place. I’ve been drawing since I could hold a pencil in my chubby hand. My parents were always supportive of my art and I’ve been fortunate to have teachers that encouraged me as well. I don’t know if I would be where I am today without my high school art teacher, Mrs. Doran. In the 10th grade, I had decided to drop my art class to take Spanish. To this day I still don’t understand what I was thinking, as I am terrible at languages! Mrs. Doran found out about my plans and made me march down to the counselor’s office that day to switch the Spanish class back to art. I have never forgotten what she did for me. Art gave me the power to be myself. In a world where big and loud voices are favored, art gave me a voice.

My confidence as an adult has gotten better, but I’m still not completely open or forthcoming with my culture and heritage. I’m always afraid someone is going to label me as a terrorist, just because of where I come from. Often I get asked, “What are you?” I’m a human being… just like you.

Year by year, day by day, I’ve learned to be proud of who I am. And my art has helped me along the way. As an artist, I’ve dedicated myself to spread kindness with my art and to be the voice for all kids and adults who have had to hide themselves in the shadows. And I do that with my books. I illustrate books with the intention of creating characters of color. To shine the spotlight on characters who have never been a hero of a story. And now as a mom of a biracial son, my mission of publishing diverse books is that much more important. I don’t want him to feel as I did growing up. I want him to be proud of who he is and where he came from.

For the first time, I have felt that I am a part of something meaningful and that my contribution, no matter how small, can make the world a kinder place.

Books and art are so much more than just books and art to me. It’s about having a platform for change. It’s about creating something where kids and adults can feel proud of who they are, step out of the shadows and be the bright voice this world needs.

Holly Hatam

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Holly Hatam is the illustrator of the #1 New York Times bestselling Dear Girl and Dear Boy, as well as Unicorns Are Real, Made by Maxine, and Jack (Not Jackie). She loves hugging trees, drinking tea, sniffing books, music, animations and most importantly, unicorns. She invites you to be transported into her magical world by visiting hollyhatam.com.

Listen for Lizzo, Leslie Odom Jr. & Many More Stars in the Upcoming “Proud Family” Reboot

by Sarah ShebekMay 12, 2021

The Proud Family is back with some big names! Disney has announced that huge range of celebs will appear on the The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder, scheduled to celebrate its 20th anniversary with a launch in 2022.

Listen for the guest starring voice cast, including Lizzo, Chance the Rapper, Lil Nas X, Normani, Leslie Odom Jr. (Hamilton), Tiffany Haddish (Like a Boss), Lena Waithe (Master of None), Anthony Anderson (Black-ish), Gabrielle Union (L.A.’s Finest) and many more! That’s in addition to recently announced regular cast members Billy Porter as Randall Leibowitz-Jenkins and Zachary Quinto as Barry Leibowitz-Jenkins.

You might remember the original show from the early ‘2000s, which featured Penny Proud humorously navigating the world of junior high, with support from her wacky family. The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder will pick up this storyline and many of the original cast members will reprise their voice roles from the first series.

The new show is currently in the works for a launch next year on Disney+. It has some star power in the production department too! Bruce W. Smith (The Princess and the Frog) and Ralph Farquhar (Moesha) are executive producers and both led the original series. You’ll recognize the artwork courtesy of Eastwood Wong, who also worked on Carmen Sandiego.

If you need to brush up on your Proud Family knowledge before the new season comes out, you can watch both seasons of the original show on Disney+. And keep watching for the announcement of the official premiere date for this new series!

—Sarah Shebek

All images courtesy of Disney

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Krispy Kreme Is Bringing Back the Graduate Dozen––Here’s How to Get it for Free

by Karly WoodMay 12, 2021

Calling all grads! Krispy Kreme is bringing back its sweetest deal yet: the Graduate Dozen.

From May 10-16, anyone can purchase the graduate dozen via the Krispy Kreme app, website, drive-through or in-store. Even better, seniors can grab the dozen for free on May 13 just by wearing “Class of 2021” graduation gear!

Dave Skena, Chief Marketing Officer for Krispy Kreme, “It’s been a tough year for this year’s graduates, marked by virtual learning, canceled sports, limited school activities, altered or eliminated proms and non-traditional graduation ceremonies. But the class of 2021 persevered through it all. We admire them, we’re proud of them and we want to celebrate all of them by giving them a special Graduate Dozen completely free at their local Krispy Kreme.”

The 2021 Graduate Dozen includes an assortment of classic varieties: Chocolate Iced Kreme Filled, Strawberry Iced Kreme Filled, Cake Batter Filled, Original Glazed White Iced and Yellow Iced Original Glazed Doughnuts.

The limited time deal is only available May 10-16 at participating shops.

—Karly Wood

Featured photo: Krispy Kreme

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Survey Finds Children of All Ages Have Increased Their Reading During The Pandemic

by Karly WoodMay 11, 2021

Did your kiddos find themselves reading during the pandemic? A new survey says they’re not alone.

Epic, in partnership with Morning Consult has just released a report on the habits and reading preferences in kids taken from a survey of parents. The report, titled Read All About It: A Report on the State of Kids’ Reading Habits and Interests During the Pandemic, combines the result of the survey on the activities and feelings kids had during the pandemic with date taken from Epic’s data team. What did it find?

photo: iStock

The report found that children of all ages increased their reading, resulting in improvement of their wellbeing. 2020 found that kids read an extra hour each month, read for fun four or more times per week and that they read for 20 minutes each day.

Most importantly, parents reported they felt that 69 percent of kids were happier after they read and close to 75 percent said their children were more creative, curious and willing to try something new.

Kevin Donahue, co-founder of Epic shares “It’s a dream for us to see that the data reflects one of the founding principles of Epic: to inspire curiosity in children and fuel their innate love of learning. Discovering that 82% of parents said their kids were eager to discuss what they read after putting down the book made us proud of what Epic has accomplished; not only in its ability to effectively engage kids in reading, but to spark family conversation and continue the learning beyond the platform.”

What else did the study find?

86 percent of finished books were fiction of the books kids finished in 2020 were fiction
Kids read more Monday through Friday and in June and July
The 10 most popular search terms were animals, friendship, funny, pet, cat, bedtime, strange, monster, family and dog

––Karly Wood

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Find Your Village: 15 Facebook Groups for Boston Parents

by Kate LowethMay 11, 2021

Never in history has it been more important to stay connected online. Working from home, social distancing and homeschooling can be isolating and overwhelming, so we’ve found over a dozen Facebook groups you can join to reach out and connect with other parents in the Boston community. Read on to find that support, shared knowledge and camaraderie are just a few clicks away in a local online group for parents.

Boston Moms
This group of over 7,000 members is for moms in Boston and the South Shore area to connect for support and playdates (especially!) and to share interesting articles and advice pertaining to being a mom.

Polish Triangle Parents
Polish Triangle Parents (PTP) is an online community for parents living and/or working in Boston's Polish Triangle, a neighborhood in Dorchester.

Boston South End Parents
Parents in the South End neighborhood of Boston can connect in this Facebook group to share area resources.

Somerville (and beyond) Parents
This is an informal group for parents in the Somerville, MA area. This group is designed to make it easier for parents to arrange get-togethers, seek advice, share articles or resources, and just get acquainted. Nannies, grandparents and other people who care for children are also welcome.

Boston Autism Moms/Dads
This is a support group for families of children with autism. The group's intention is to help parents share information about educational, medical and social supports and services.

Boston-Area Special Needs Parents
This group welcomes parents of children with special needs who live in Boston and its immediate surroundings. It is intended to help families in very close proximity connect on social, educational and medical issues; serve as a networking opportunity for parents who may wish to conveniently connect in person as well as online; and assist in the hyper-local share, resale, and trade of unwanted or excess medical supplies, durable medical equipment, and other specialized equipment that serves children with special needs.

Brookline Parents
This group draws parents from the Brookline neighborhood to arrange meet-ups, buy and sell kids items, offer advice and get to know neighbors with similarly-aged kids.

Arlington Parents
This is a discussion group for parents and caregivers in and around Arlington, MA on topics related to parenting, children, caregiving, families, school and more. The group numbers over 6,000 members.

Newton Parents
This robust group of over 8.000 members is for parents in Newton, MA to communicate about local programs, classes and offerings.

JP Families
This group is a grass-roots list organized by Jamaica Plain parents and guardians and those working towards adding children to their family who want to connect on Facebook, ask advice and find resources. Its local area is primarily Jamaica Plain, Roslindale, West Roxbury, Roxbury, Mission Hill and parts of Brookline/Dorchester/Hyde Park/Mattapan.

Boston Desi Parents
This group brings together parents who are interested in socializing and sharing Indian culture with their children.

Gay Dads of Greater Boston
This group aims to bring together gay dads raising kids in the greater Boston area and it adjacent cities and towns, so that their children can get to meet each other, play and develop a positive self-esteem. Also, gay dads can develop long-term friendships, allowing them to share support and ideas on how to raise happy, well-adjusted kids proud of their family composition

Braintree Moms
The Braintree Moms group has been set up as a resource for expectant, new and experienced moms (as well as female guardians) that are currently living in Braintree, MA or those planning on moving to the area.

Quincy Moms
This group supports moms in Quincy, Braintree, Weymouth, Hingham and beyond.The group shares school information, tips for families and support for those living in the area.

Bedford, Massachusetts Moms & Dads Group
This page is for Bedford parents to communicate on all things related to kids: from school-related events, weather cancellations and special programs to parents trying to get rid of old kids' toys, clothes etc. Here you can find recommendations for babysitters and summer camps.

Do you have a parenting group that you’d like added to this list? Send an email to kate.loweth@tinybeans.com.

—Kate Loweth

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Passing Resilience to Our Children

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