ML Interest Tag: separation-anxiety

How I Handled My 2-Year-Old’s Separation Anxiety

By Jennifer Landis

While many moms go back to work only a few weeks after giving birth, I was lucky enough to be able to stay home with my now 5-year-old daughter until she was a little older than 2. When I was getting ready to go back to work, I spent a lot of time researching daycare options in my area, until I finally found one I thought would work well for us. They had a small class size, plenty of adults per child and some of the best reviews I could find.

When I went to check out the daycare, it seemed like it lived up to all the hype, so I signed my daughter up and got ready to head back to work.

What I didn’t anticipate was my sweet, outgoing, confident 2-year-old experiencing separation anxiety.

Monday Meltdowns

That first Monday morning, I’ll admit I didn’t handle things as well as I should have. She was happy to get the car with me and even excited to explore the daycare and meet all her new friends—until it was time for me to leave. I called her over to say goodbye and tell her I love her, and the waterworks started. She cried until she nearly made herself sick, clinging to my leg and saying “no” over and over. She didn’t have enough words to express what she wanted, so she just repeated the word “no.”

I didn’t know how to deal with separation anxiety. At the time, I had never handled it in children, though I did have a dog once who would misbehave as the result of the same diagnosis. I didn’t know what I was doing. I handed her to the daycare worker who was standing there with open arms and left for work.

They called me halfway through the day and told me she’d cried so much she was throwing up, and I had to come to get her.

Weighing My Options

I was beside myself. The daycare staff told me not to worry about it, and to go ahead and bring her back the next day. “Separation anxiety is normal in kids her age,” they said. “She’ll adapt.” Despite these comforting words, my daughter wouldn’t leave my side for the rest of the evening, and it made me wonder whether I’d ever be able to send her to daycare.

Having to leave half a day into my first day back at work didn’t look great, either, but I was less concerned about that.

Once I finally detached her from my hip and got her to sleep, I started doing some research into separation anxiety in toddlers. And you know what I found? The daycare workers were right.

Separation anxiety is par for the course in kids her age. Once they hit about 14 months, they start to develop a sense of the familiar. They recognize places, faces, and toys, so when I took her to an entirely new place and expected her to stay there with unfamiliar people, she panicked. Children who spend their infancy and toddlerhood in daycares learn how to handle this transition, and usually outgrow it around 2 years old. If it persists after that age, it can be a sign of separation anxiety disorder.

I didn’t prepare my daughter for this transition. She had stayed for afternoons or overnight with grandparents or other family members she knew, but I’d never taken her to daycare before. No wonder she was so stressed out!

Dealing with My Daughter’s Separation Anxiety

I was hesitant to head back to the daycare center the next day, but missing more work wasn’t an option, so we got dressed, had breakfast and piled into the car. As I had done the day before, I called her over to say goodbye. I told her I would be back to pick her up between her afternoon snack and dinner. We’d been keeping a pretty regular schedule at home, which the daycare followed fairly closely. Instead of saying, “I’ll be back around 5 p.m.,” which would have been meaningless to her, I put it in terms she could understand.

It didn’t stop her from crying, but I made it work. When I called to check on her at lunchtime, the staff told me she was playing happily with the other 2-year-olds, and that she’d only cried that day for around 20 minutes.

I was surprised, but I shouldn’t have been. Separation anxiety is part of growing up. She’s used to daycare now, though she still has trouble sometimes if she’s tired or not feeling good. That’s understandable. When little ones are sick, they want to be with their parents, no matter how often or how much time they spend at daycare.

Lessons I Learned

Today, my daughter is a happy, well-adjusted 5-year-old who happily goes to kindergarten, but our period of separation anxiety taught me a valuable lesson. It’s essential to prepare your children for new experiences, especially when they’re young. If I could do it over again, I would take her to the daycare for a couple of days to play and get to know the facility and the people before her first drop-off. You have to be delicate, and take their feelings into account.

Jennifer Landis is a mom, wife, freelance writer, and blogger. She enjoys long naps on the couch, sneaking spoonfuls of peanut butter when her kid's not looking, and binge watching Doctor Who while her kid's asleep.  She really does like her kid, though, she promises. Find her on Twitter @JenniferELandis.

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Why Is Your Baby So Obsessed with Peek-a-Boo? Science Has Answers

by Erica Loop

Have you ever wondered why babies love peek-a-boo so much? As it turns out, there’s an actual scientific answer to this question.

Between four and seven months old, babies start to discover something called “object permanence,” according to the American Academy of Pediatrics’ HealthyChildren.org website. This cognitive development allows infants to understand that objects continue to exist, even if they can’t see them anymore.

photo: Esudroff via Pixabay

This also happens around the same time as the start of separation anxiety. Now that baby knows you actually exist after daycare drop-off happens, it’s very possible that the “I miss mom” crying phase will take hold. Even though the object permanence can usher in an era of separation-induced tantrums, it also makes your baby more likely to enjoy games, including peek-a-boo!

According to Dr. Gina Posner, a pediatrician at MemorialCare Orange Coast Medical Center in Fountain Valley, California, in an interview with Romper, “Object permanence is a concept that something that is out of sight (i.e., covered) is still there even though they can’t see it. This is why peek-a-boo is fun for them, and helps stimulate their brain. They start learning that even when something disappears, it can still be there, but hidden.”

So go ahead and play peek-a-boo all day long—it just might help their development!

—Erica Loop

 

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New Mom’s Survival Guide for Going Back to Work

by Elizabeth Carr

You’ve birthed a human being, survived sleepless months, and figured out how to change a diaper in the dark, swaddle a baby, and maybe even take a shower. With all of that under your belt, it’s time to face your next challenge: returning to work. Most moms who’ve been-there-done-that will tell you the transition can feel a little bumpy at first but gets easier. Here are our best tips for helping you get back into your work groove.

photo: STIL via Unsplash

1. Find the right childcare.
Daycare, in-home daycare or nanny; that is the question. Knowing your little one is well taken care of will give you peace of mind to help you refocus on work. Moms who’ve been there recommend making a short list of what’s most important to you: Does your job require a lot of overtime, making schedule flexibility a top priority? Do you want to be able to see your baby during the day? Budget, work schedule, faith, language preference, food habits, and more can all influence your childcare decision, so make a list to help filter the options you’ll be considering.

If you’re looking for a nanny, cast a wide net between personal referrals, sites like Care.com and SitterCity, and a nanny agency in your area. If you’ve decided on daycare, start your research as soon as possible, ideally before your little one is born. Some daycares have extensive wait-lists, and you’ll want to visit your top choices, speak with other parents, and mine the internet for other sources of feedback.

2. Build your support network.
Does your company have a women’s or mom’s network? If so, you’ll have a readymade resource for all your new-mom questions about separation anxiety (yours and your child’s) and how to juggle everything on your plate. If not, build your own network with work peers, ideally a mix of new moms going through similar issues and old pros who can offer proven advice. Or join a local moms group (look for groups in your neighborhood or through your religious organization). Having a few trusted mom friends to reach out to will help you get through the tough times—and they’ll be there to cheer you on when you land that big client or get your first post-baby promotion!

photo: Anastasia Shuraeva via Pexels

3. Stock up on essentials.
Yes, we’re telling you to shop. Before you return to work, buy the basics you’ll need for the next 6 months, from diapers and wipes to paper towels and dish soap. That way, you don’t have to think about those things as you ramp back up at work. If you can automate deliveries via a service like Amazon’s Subscribe & Save, do it. Then, make a list of the gear you’ll need to feed your baby for the next 3-6 months. And that brings us to our next two tips….

4. If you’re pumping, increase your comfort level.  
Buy a stash of nursing pads, milk storage bags, a cooler and ice packs. Also, look for items to make pumping at work more comfortable for you. Think: Freemie concealable collection cups, an inflatable foot rest, a bowl to wash pump parts in, sterilization bags, or a nursing cover for privacy.

5. If you’re formula-feeding, increase your convenience level.
Once you find a brand you and your baby like, purchase several months’ worth to avoid the dreaded realization that you’ve just finished your last can. Buy bottles in bulk to allow you to go 1-3 days between washing a batch. For extra convenience, look into products like the Mixie Baby Bottle, which allows you (or daycare or your nanny) to mix water and formula on the go, and the Tommee Tippee bottle warmer, an easy way to warm up your baby’s bottle when away from home.

photo: iStock

6. Look after yourself.
To feel your best, ensure you’re eating well. Keep a water bottle with you at all times, and stock your desk with healthy snacks like nuts, low-sugar snack bars, and dried fruit. To avoid the dreaded “I have nothing to wear” crisis each morning, consider a clothing rental service like Rent the Runway or Le Tote to stock your closet while your body is still finding its stable post-baby size.

Then, make a short list of three things that help you feel peaceful in a day—yours might be “make bed, dry hair, sit at the table for dinner” or “pray/meditate before baby wakes, take vitamins, read one chapter of a book.” Make every effort to conquer this list. You’ll be surprised how much of a confidence boost this can give you, no matter how small its items might be. And that confidence will translate into your work as a mother and employee.

Above all, give yourself grace. It may take time, but you will find your groove as a working mom. We’re cheering for you!

—Elizabeth Carr

 

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How Mindfulness Helped Me Outsmart My Smartphone and Regain Time With My Family

By Jing Lee

I often felt like my iPhone owned me, instead of the other way around. Whether I was eating, reading, riding the bus, you name it, I often had this strong URGE to pick up the phone and do something with it, anything with it. It was usually the first thing I touched in the morning and the last thing I touched at night. My phone had no separation anxiety, but I sure did. I absolutely NEVER left the house without it. It OWNED me and I knew it.

Most everyone I’ve talked to is aware that they are too attached to the phone, but is either not motivated to do anything about it or feel like there’s nothing specific they can do other than to “try” and use it less. I was in that boat until recently. What motivated me to change my relationship with my smartphone was the deteriorating relationship with my husband.

It started innocuously enough. One of us would pick up a phone mid-conversation to check a message. Then one of us would have to just do “one” thing on our phone real quickly. Then mid-conversation as we’re talking about how bad traffic has been lately, we just had to know what the current population is in the San Francisco bay area. Next thing I knew, we were spending most of our evenings sitting on the couch glued to our phones, just clicking and swiping away, barely talking and connecting. We were settled into this rhythm for months until I started to have this uneasy feeling that we were growing apart.

Family time and phone, it shouldn’t be a zero sum game. But it is! We only have a limited amount of time in a given day. The majority of these hours are dedicated to sleep, work, food, errands, etc. That leaves us with few precious hours with our loved ones. And my phone was really getting in the way.

One, each time I picked up my phone to check a message or look up something, I was taking a moment away from our relationship. While each small interruption on its own was no big deal,multiple interruptions added up.

Two, quality time isn’t defined by the total quantity of time, but rather the continuous amount of time spent together. The quality of a continuous hour of conversation is better than 10 minutes here or there adding up to a full hour. The smartphone interruptions broke our quality time into small intervals and left us feeling less connected.

Three, when I picked up the phone at dinner, I was implicitly giving permission for my husband to do so as well. We were reinforcing each other’s behaviors and along the way erasing our boundaries of phone usage without even realizing it. Eventually we just got to the point where we were spending more time on our phones than with each other. And that was just sad.

Over the last several months, I’ve used my mindfulness practice to deal with this issue and it has made a big difference on the quality of our family time. Here are some things I did.

Set an intention to check in each time I pick up my phone.  Any mindfulness practice begins with awareness. So I set an intention to check in with myself whenever I picked up my phone and just notice how I was feeling in that moment. Sometimes I felt anxious, other times excited, and sometimes just bored. The check-in gave me the opportunity to hit the pause button on this automatic reaction of pick up phone, open app, swipe, type, swipe. And during the short pause, I became aware of why I was picking up the phone, what I was feeling, and how picking up the phone affects those feelings.

A mindfulness practice also teaches us that when we became aware of our habitual tendencies, we can choose to respond differently. So sometimes, I would choose to put the phone down because I noticed I was picking it up out of boredom and not need. This has given me freedom. I own my phone, it doesn’t own me.

Track my usage. To further supplement my awareness, I downloaded an app called Moment to track how much time I was actually spending on my phone. Ironic I know. But holy moly was it a lot! ~2 hours a day on average. According to Kevin Holesh, the creator of the Moment app, the average daily screen time of users is 3 hours and 57 minutes, consistent with other studies. And the average daily number of pickups is 52. That is a lot! Simply knowing my usage has motivated me to use my phone less over time.

Create boundaries. Boundaries can be a great tool to break the otherwise automatic habits that most of us have created on phone usage. My husband and I instituted a no-phone policy on Tuesdays and Fridays, except in cases of emergency or Facetime with the grandparents. In the beginning, we’d pick up our phones without realizing it and one of us would have to remind the other. But over time, the habit started to fade. Moreover, having this policy on only two days also influenced positive behavior on other days.

It’s hard to believe the iPhone was only introduced ten short years ago because most of us can’t imagine life without one. But I know so many people that also have this nagging feeling we ought to be using our phones less. I would argue its not just about using our phones less, its about having a more mindful relationship with our phones. That starts with simply increasing our awareness of our relationship with the smartphone. Only through awareness can we then choose to behave differently.

Featured Photo Courtesy: Alona Kraft

Mom of one and another on the way, writing about mindfulness meditation and how it can help bring more ease and happiness to our lives. I live in San Francisco. 

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The Best Movies to Watch with Grandparents

by Common Sense Media

When didn’t a sleepover at grandma and grandpa’s house include movie night? There’s no doubt your Littles will continue the tradition you loved when you were a kid, so let us take the guesswork out of what they’ll watch when you’re not holding the remote. From Disney classics to anime-style animation, check out this list of best films to watch with family members from Common Sense Media below!

Milo_And_Otis

The Adventures of Milo and Otis
5 stars
Ages: 5+

This classic ’80s family film is an entertaining look at how a barn cat and dog befriend each other and are willing to risk everything to help the other survive. Common Sense Seal

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast
5 stars
Ages: 5+

Kids mature enough for feature-length stories will find this one of the best Disney movies they could spend time with in terms of intelligence, quality, and originality—not to mention having one of Disney’s smartest, most independent heroines. Common Sense Seal

Babe

Babe
5 stars
Ages: 6+

Babe is a live-action farm tale widely considered one of the best family films of all time. While there are a few scenes that may scare younger viewers (sheep are attacked), at its core, this is a tale of perseverance, friendship, and making your dreams come true. Common Sense Seal

Finding Nemo

Finding Nemo
Five stars
Ages: 5+

Expect a little potty humor amid the movie’s messages of teamwork, determination, loyalty, and a father’s never-ending love for his son. Parents will want to note that while there are no bad guys in the traditional sense, small kiddos may get a fright from seeing animals with zillions of teeth and many tense scenes with characters in peril. Common Sense Seal

Frozen

Frozen
Five stars
Ages: 5+

The smash-hit Disney animated musical will appeal to families with children of all ages. Messages include unconditional love between sisters after a long estrangement, being true to yourself, recognizing your gifts, and not being afraid of your power. Common Sense Seal

My Neighbor Totoro

My Neighbor Totoro
Five stars
Ages 5+

This movie is a fine pick for the entire family. Although there are slightly creepy “dust sprites” that appear in the house at first, they eventually disappear. Totoro himself might look and sound a bit odd, but he’s quite sweet and gentle. Overall, this is a family film in the truest sense—it appeals to moviegoers young and old alike.  Common Sense Seal

Toy Story

Toy Story
Five stars
Ages: 5+

The talented voice-acting and clever storyline makes Pixar’s classic feature film one of the best children’s movies of all time. Neighbor Sid does present a scare factor for the smallest viewers but the underlying plots dealing with real-kid issues, like separation anxiety and sibling rivalry, make this movie a great pick. Common Sense Seal

The Lego Movie

The LEGO Movie
Four Stars
Ages: 6+

The LEGO Movie is an action-packed animated family-friendly adventure following original and existing LEGO characters. Featuring an all-star voice cast and some of the brand’s most popular figures (Batman, Superman, Gandalf, Wonder Woman, etc.), the inventive movie should appeal to all ages, from young Duplo players to teens who consider themselves Master Builders. Common Sense Seal

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins
Five stars
Ages: 6+

The world’s coolest nanny celebrates family and fun in of the best films of all time. Though the pace is rollicking and sometimes chaotic, there are no dangerous or dark elements in Mary Poppins. Melodic music, fancy dancing, and cartoon segments will engage even the youngest viewers. Common Sense Seal

The Lion King

The Lion King
Four stars
Ages: 6+

The Lion King is considered one of Disney’s greatest animated musicals and despite a few sad sequences and a few evil characters, the overall message is one of hope, love, and family responsibility. Common Sense Seal

Which movie was your favorite? If you want to check out the long-list of best films to watch with grandparents, head over to Common Sense Media!

 

Common Sense Media is a leading independent nonprofit organization offering the largest, most trusted library of independent age-based and educational ratings and reviews for everything kids want to watch, play, read, and learn. The ratings, reviews, and information are unbiased and provided for free to help families and educators make great media and technology choices. 

featured photo: personal creations via flickr

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It’s a Wrap: Make a Bracelet from a Favorite Toy or Lovey

by Sara Olsher

Starting Kindergarten can be a rough transition: once you’ve managed to peel your crying child off your leg, there are new friends to make, new routines to learn, and new rules follow. When our Marketing & Community Manager’s daughter Charlie started Kindergarten, one of the hardest adjustments was day-to-day life without her giraffe lovey, Stuart.

Stuart has been Charlie’s BFF since infancy and goes with her everywhere. Having to leave him in her backpack all day was a source of major separation anxiety. The solution? A bracelet made from a Stuart look-alike, which Sara and her daughter made together. Read on to see what they did.

 

Sara originally bought “a pair and a spare” of Stuart when Charlie was a baby, thinking she’d always have a spare if something happened to Stuart. Predictably, Charlie chose a favorite and the other two were relatively unused. Using one of the spares (and with Charlie’s permission), Sara cut a two-inch section off one side.

Sara made sure to include one of Stuart’s “feet,” which is a little nub on the lovey and Charlie’s favorite part. She then measured Charlie’s wrist, cut the fabric to size, and affixed velcro to keep it on.

The finished product is easy for a Kindergartener to take on and off, and abides by the rules of her new classroom. As for whether the bracelet has helped? Charlie loves it and wears it every day. She still misses Stuart, but the constant reminder of him has definitely helped.

Convincing your child to cut apart their one-and-only BFF is likely to be a hard sell. If you only have one lovey, try searching eBay or check out Lost My Lovey for the especially elusive favorite toy.

Is your kid attached to their lovey? 

— Photos and hack by Sara Olsher

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Just Opened: A Spot for Drop-off Childcare

by Kelly Aiglon

Drop-off childcare spots that don’t require reservations are a parent’s dream — but they’re hard to come by in Chicago. That’s what makes the opening of one new kids’ activity center so special. Take a Break Playcare just flung its doors open in Lakeview and welcomes kids ages 3 months to 13 years for a day or even just two hours of supervised play while you go to work, run errands or just relax. Nope, you’re not dreaming. Read on.

A Flexible, Playful Concept
You probably know the uh-oh moment of having a sitter bail on you last-minute. And also the feeling of just needing a little “me” time during the day or a much deserved date night. Take a Break Playcare is open morning through night (and even until midnight on weekends!) so you have backup. It’s an intimate spot filled with toys, play structures and organized activities and, best of all, offers drop-off, last-minute care at prices comparative to a sitter, and discounts for bulk, weekly and monthly packages.

You don’t have to worry about calling to see if your child can stay a little longer than whatever time you estimated you’d be away. Just pick them up by closing time. Reservations aren’t required but are recommended for infants (ages 3-18 months) and for all ages on Friday or Saturday nights.

Activities for All Ages
Littles and bigs both find their niche in a divided space that has a little something for everyone. For older children there is a tech lounge, video game lounge, mini sports court, books and board games. For younger ones, there is a separate infant and toddler playroom. The larger playroom is best for active and imaginative play and features a slide, costumes, a train table, dolls, LEGOs, blocks and more. Bouncing babies have goodies needed to develop their social and motor skills, including busy boxes, rattles, a pounding bench and musical toys.

To give it all structure, there are designated quiet times when children are encouraged to rest, do arts and crafts, or read books. There is also organized snack and meal times (food isn’t provided but parents can bring a meal or have one delivered). On weekends, expect movie nights, air hockey competitions, karaoke bouts and more. At all other times, it’s open play.

Other Perks
The staff at Take a Break Playcare is CPR/First Aid certified, fingerprinted and background checked. For children with separation anxiety, parents are invited to visit the center with their child for a half-hour to acclimate them. And parents are invited to be on hand to celebrate during birthday parties — this friendly spot hosts bashes for all ages, and gives party hosts two free hours of childcare for a future date when they book a party.

The Nuts & Bolts
Take a Break Playcare is located at:
2855 N. Lincoln Ave., 1st Floor, in Lakeview

Hours:
Monday-Thursday, 8:30 a.m.-9 p.m.
Friday, 8:30 a.m.-midnight
Saturday, 9 a.m.-midnight
Sunday, noon-6 p.m. Before noon and after 6 p.m. you can reserve the space for birthday parties
The last check-in time is 90 minutes before each scheduled closing
A 2-hour minimum charge is required for all children

Fees:
Rates are $13.50/hour for first child ages 3-18 months
Rates are $12/hour for ages 19 months and older
Bulk hours are also available for purchase and never expire
10 hours first child, $102
15 hours first child, $144
Weekly play package is $175 includes up to 4 continuous hours of play each day for 7 days from the first use
Monthly play package is $400 and is good for 31 days from first use
Discounts are available for siblings; the 4th sibling is free

Contact:
773-661-9944
Online: takeabreakplaycare.com

What do you think of this new spot for drop-off childcare? Let us know in the Comments!

— Kelly Aiglon

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Stay Connected: Super Solutions for Parents Who Travel

by Jennifer O'Brien

LA is filled with parents who work in the entertainment industry, and alongside the cool perks (hello, Frozen screeners!), it also can mean long stretches on location. And our local, dedicated military families are no strangers to this separation struggle. So whether you’ve got a feature to shoot in Mumbai, a casting call in the Big Apple or deployment to the Middle East, we found tips and tricks that help kids cope when parents have to travel.

photo credit: Matthew Hurst via Flickr

Leave a Little “You” Behind
Even if you can’t “physically” be there for your kiddos while you’re traveling, your smiling face can be a great comfort to them while you’re away. For a totally unique twist on a family portrait that will brighten up your tot’s room, check out the adorable custom watercolor portraits by Sophie & Lili. Simply purchase the portrait package you want and email artist, Jennifer Vallez, a festive photo of your family that you’d like recreated. Easy as pie!

Shutterfly is another go-to resource for parents who travel. Personalization is the name of the game here. Print your mug on a mug so the kiddos can admire your face while sipping some special hot chocolate you left behind for them. Create a calendar with hilarious pics of the entire brood and have your tot cross off each day you’re closer to coming home. If your mini-me could use an extra snuggle while you’re gone, Shutterfly can even print pillows and blankets showcasing an image. (Like a picture of you, holding out your arms for a hug.)

One moment your children will likely miss most while you’re out of town is the special bedtime story you share together every night. Hallmark, mad genius that they are, created Recordable Storybooks so you can read to your rugrats whenever, wherever. Classics like Goodnight Moon, Guess How Much I Love You and Disney faves likeToy Story: You Can Count on Me, allow parents to record themselves reading the story as your little one follow along in the accompanying hardcover book.

photo credit: Sophie & Lili on Facebook 

Keep in Touch Tech
Whether you’re catching up on their school day from across the country or you’re reviewing your daughter’s ABC’s in a monster voice that only you can do, Skype and FaceTime have become absolute saviors to parents who travel. Set regular chat dates so you and your babes have something to look forward to.

While you’re jaunting around the globe, family game night may fall by the wayside, but that doesn’t mean you and your giggly gamer can’t still enjoy a some competitive fun. Try playing a turn based mobile app game with your little one from wherever you are. The Flying Alphabetinis is the first turn based multi-player word puzzle game for little ones (think Words with Friends for the small fry set). Just don’t be too surprised when they kick your butt. Another classic game to check out is Connect Four – Four in a Row where players battle it out by taking turns dropping their color checkers into slots on the top of the board. Or if you have a budding artist on your hands, Draw Something might be right up their alley: players take turns guessing what the other is drawing. Better brush up on your Picasso skills, mom and dad.

Generic postcards from the Eiffel Tower or Poughkeepsie Best Western are swell, but for a more personal “I’m thinking of you,” digital postcards are a wonderful alternative. Upload photos from your glamorous travels, personalize a message to your loved ones, add in their mailing address, then let Postcard on the Run do the printing and sending. In a few days, your family will receive a real postcard in the mail. (Yep, real snail mail! Like in colonial times.)

photo credit: Quinn Dombrowski via Flickr

Books to Ease the “Missing You Blues”
The minute you utter the words “business trip,” your kiddos mysteriously come down with a case of the “missing you blues” as evidenced by their tiny death grip on your leg. A few children’s books in particular can help them better cope with any separation anxiety they may be feeling. The Invisible String by Patrice Karst weaves a charming tale about a very special invisible string that binds people from heart to heart, so no matter how far away you might be, you’re always connected. When I Miss You by Cornelia Maude Spelman features a young guinea pig who gets distressed when mom and dad go away on a trip. She not only learns ways to comfort herself, but is reassured that her parents will always return. When Daddy Travels by Harriet Ziefert is a flap book that shares the story of lovable Lily and George who miss their Dad terribly when he travels for work. Tikes can lift the flaps to discover all the ways their Dad keeps in touch while he’s gone.

Sometimes, all a tot needs to feel close to you is a little 411 on the place you’ll be visiting. Miroslav Slasek created a beloved series of kids books over the years highlighting various locales around the world. From This is London to This is Hong Kong to This is New York and many more, Slasek shares his impressions of these exciting places through vibrant illustrations and playful text that will leave your tike begging to read it again and again.

photo credit: Patrice Karst on Facebook

Special Surprises Never Fail
If you’ve got a stack of post-it notes, you have a pile of surprises at the ready. Try writing a simple note to your tot for every day you’ll be gone and leave them in easy to find locations for kids to discover during your absence. Maybe a note in their backpack, lunchbox, sock drawer, under their pillow or in the tub (assuming anyone can convince them to take a bath). Just a little something special to let your babes know they’re on your mind.

Bring back trinkets and treasures from your travels. Kids always dig t-shirts, hats, snow globes and delicious candies. Even the soaps, lotions and potions from your hotel room can make for a great haul.

Before you head off on your journey, leave an empty scrapbook behind for your little one to fill with photos, tickets, stickers, art projects, homework from school – whatever they’re up to you’re away. Explain that you’ll make a scrapbook of your adventures as well to swap with them when you return.

photo credit: Dimitris Siskopoulos via Flickr

Ask your kiddos if you can take their favorite stuffed animal with you on your trip so you don’t get lonely, then email daily photos of their furry pal whooping it up during your travels: having breakfast, attending meetings, sitting in the director’s chair, hitting the beach, watching cartoons from your hotel room, whatever you can come up with. Be creative—it’s a guaranteed hit with your kids!  If they’re too small to sleep without their special “lovey” you can get a doppelganger “stuffed sibling” and bring that look alike on your travels, and they can keep their special friend at home to snuggle while they’re missing you.

What some unique ways you keep in touch with your tots when you have to travel for work? Let us know in the comments section below!

– Jennifer O’Brien

 

 

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Hot Topic: My Kid Has Separation Anxiety

by Erin Lem

Editor’s Note: The launch of our new community forums has been delayed for a few weeks, but that hasn’t stopped readers, who are eager for feedback from other moms, from submitting their pressing questions. We’ll be posting submissions in this format every week until our forums launch. You can offer your feedback in the comment section, or ask your own question to our audience here.                                                                                                          

Heidi from Seattle writes, “I think my four year old has developed separation anxiety and I have no idea what to do. For the last two weeks he’s thrown a tantrum every time I dop him off at preschool (it was never an issue before!) and I feel like such a bad mom driving away while he’s crying and stomping around. I’ve done everything from creating a “goodbye” ritual to talking with him about his feelings but nothing is working. Please help me — I’m desperate for advice (and a happy kid)!”

A little one with separation anxiety — sound familiar Red Tricycle moms and dads? Many of us have been in Heidi’s position and have our own methods for coping with separation anxiety. Help out a mom in need by leaving your advice in the comment section below.

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