Back when I was basically a child (even though I thought I was SUPER mature, right?), I had two children. I happily welcomed them into the world, but to be honest 12 years later I only have bits of memories about how everything went. The pregnancy, the birth, the being a mom thing. It wasn’t too hard, but I also wasn’t a huge fan of the baby portion.
And then there I was, 12 years later, in the middle of my third pregnancy, and things were nothing like I remembered at all. You’d think after two I’d be at least semi-pro, everyone around seemed to assume so anyway. But even all the bits I did remember didn’t prepare me for pregnancy over a decade later.
It’s a story that I feel starts out with a grandma voice in my head… “Back in my day…” But seriously, back when I was pregnant with my first two technology was not nearly what it is now. I mean, I can hardly remember a time without Facebook and Google–but when I had my first two those didn’t exist. Same with smart phones.
When I had my first baby my mom bought me the (hardcopy) book What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Now you can literally google ANYTHING and find multiple answers, if not entire articles or YouTube videos explaining your answer in detail. No matter how far along I was in my pregnacy I could start a search and find all about what should be happening. And then on the chance I couldn’t find an answer on Google, there was always Facebook. In fact, I didn’t even need to ask there. I found just mentioning pregnancy woes or uncertainties on Facebook got me plenty of advice.
As I went through my third pregnancy I started to wonder how my first two children even survived. Or how I survived as a mom then. How did any of us survive pre-internet???
Then, after basic survival, there was the actual pregnancy to compare. When I had my first son I decided I could probably become a surrogate if someone needed me to. I didn’t get sick, I didn’t have swollen feet…and I could eat pretty much anything and not worry someone would think I was fat (because, pregnancy weight of course). Wins all around.
Being pregnant the third time was so different it was like I’d never been pregnant before. The first trimester I was nauseous if I didn’t eat meals on time, or if it happened to be night time. In the second trimester that was replaced by heartburn. Seriously, heartburn for everything for the rest of my pregnancy. And the swollen feet! Oh those were super fun. Lets add to that package back pain and round ligament pain (something I didn’t even know was a thing until the third pregnancy).
It’s strange to experience so many differences. Part of me wanted to warn everyone not to wait until their mid thirties to have children. “Have them sooner!” I wanted to yell at everyone, “Have them before your body hates you for it!”
But the other half of me wanted to tell everyone in their early twenties to wait. Wait until you can’t wait any longer. Wait until you’re mature enough to understand your body and know what is going on. Wait until you really want a baby and know you are ready to really give it time. You’ll love it even more.
But maybe that’s just me. Maybe because I can see both sides I can have a personal opinion on the difference. Maybe other people have had babies 12 years apart and their bodies (and brains) reacted exactly the same. I love each of my children, and like I said, happily welcomed them all into the world. But there’s something different I felt for the third, and I think it’s mostly maturity.
Well, maybe it’s also a little bit of relief that I no longer have to waddle down the sidewalk wishing for a bathroom every five steps.
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Living a pretty average, but definitely not normal, life in New York. I write for work, I eat for fun, I Google search to keep my kids thinking I'm the smartest person they know.
