Amazon is making it easier to get your groceries delivered! The e-tailer recently announced the expansion of Key by Amazon In-Garage Grocery Delivery to more than 5,000 cities and towns across the country.
After a trial of In-Garage Grocery Delivery that started in five cities last November, Amazon has upped the ante and given millions of Prime members the chance to use this super-simple service. Now you can get your faves from Whole Foods Market or Amazon Fresh delivered into the safety and security of your home’s garage.
photo courtesy of Amazon
Pete Gerstberger, Head of Key by Amazon, said in a press release, “Customers who tried Key In-Garage Grocery Delivery have loved the service, which is why we’re expanding it to everywhere Amazon offers grocery delivery.” Gerstberger added, “As customers look for more convenience in their daily lives, we’re excited to deliver another service that not only helps them save time, but provides peace of mind knowing that tonight’s dinner is safe in their garage and out of the weather.”
To use this convenient service, eligible Prime members can shop While Foods or Amazon Fresh online. You must have a compatible garage door opener or myQ Smart Garage Hub ($30) and the myQ app with Key. Select “Key Delivery” at checkout to complete your order.
For more info, visit Amazon here! For a limited time eligible customers can get a $20 Amazon credit after the first In-Garage delivery order.
The pandemic has been hard on parents, there’s no doubt about that. But it’s also been really hard on kids: not only have they had to adjust to unique school experiences, they’ve also lost a lot of the freedoms they’ve had to just…well…play. I never thought an Apple Watch would be a way to give my kid some of that freedom and independence back but I recently tried one out and I’m here to say: this thing is the bomb. Let me explain…
Three main things have changed dramatically in our lifestyle in the last year:
1) After nearly a year of school closures, our district reopened elementary schools.
School hours and how and where parents pick kids up is quite different than non-COVID times. In addition to school changes, this year my son is a Crossing Guard/Patrol, which means that every two weeks his afterschool schedule changes. I work full time (I’m the Managing Editor for Red Tricycle, obtw) and have a lot on my plate, so his schedule changing can throw things off for me, like meeting times and deadlines.
Plus, parents are essentially not allowed in the school unless it’s an absolute emergency. Running late? Your kid is waiting for you outside (they will bring the kids in if it’s super cold). And with the added responsibility of Patrol, his pickup time changes slightly depending on how many kids are crossing, how fast he checks in his equipment, etc. In short, the time is a little different EVERY. DAY.
2) We live in Minnesota, so “afterschool/outside school activities” means hockey. The “no parents” rule is similar for hockey practices and even most games. Parents are only allowed in the rinks if you need to help your kid get his gear on (my son is a goalie, so he still needs a little assist sometimes). You just drop them off outside or come in at the very last minute if they need help. This is very different than years past, where hockey culture frequently includes parents hanging out and helping out at practice (at least at this younger age).
3) Grandma moved into town.
I don’t believe my son is old enough to have a phone (he’s in 4th grade) but increasingly we found that we wanted him to be able to let us know when he was ready to go. He also started asking if he could walk to (his now fully vaccinated) Grandma’s house after school sometimes.
WALK?? ALONE??? I don’t consider myself to be a helicopter parent, and we live in a pretty safe community, but I also listen to a lot of true crime podcasts and occasionally panic about horrible potential scenarios. How do you balance that line between fear and teaching your kids fear, between safety and independence?
As it happened, right around this time of internal, moral debate, Apple Watch reached out to me to see if I could try the Family Setup feature. So they sent a (loaner) Apple Watch for us to try and, honestly, it really was transformative.
Features I Love the Most
Schooltime: From my phone I can set Schooltime hours, which makes the Apple Watch essentially only functional as time-piece during those hours. It does still track activity, but the majority of the features on the Watch go dormant. They can be accessed only temporarily during schooltime, for such things as emergency text or updates, but overall are “disabled” allowing for fewer distractions.
I was hesitant to send him to school with this watch on, but was actually thrilled to hear that my son’s teacher didn’t even notice he was wearing an Apple Watch: this meant it was not a distraction in class for him or anyone else.
Texting & Calls: As the parent, you control the contact list entirely. This is critical. With Family Setup your child cannot add any contacts to their list on their own. It is all controlled by the parent. I added friends and relatives we trust, not just for emergencies but so he could keep in touch on his own. He’s an only child, so having a cousin to “chat” with now and again is a lifeline.
He can also text via WiFi, but we found calls didn’t work great on WiFi to non-Apple numbers. You’ll want to add the Apple Watch to your cellular plan, which typically sets you back about $10/month when tacked onto an existing plan.
Emergency contacts are also an option: whomever you put on for emergency contacts can be contacted and called for under one minute without requiring a cellular plan.
Handwashing: There is actually a tracking device that shows if the kids have washed their hands long enough! WUT!
So, for the first time in his life, my son walked a few blocks on his own to his Grandma’s apartment after school. And, yes, I was using the tracking feature to see where he was.
Features My Son Loved the Most
I asked my son what his favorite parts of the watch are, beyond having more independence and he, like the kid he is, said:
I like the activity tracker. It’s fun to try to have a goal to reach for activity and get rewards when you complete certain things. There’s a cool planetary alignment feature where you can track the movement of the planets. And I like the easy communication with my family. Today, my dad was late picking me up and I was able to text both my parents, “Where are you?” Also, Memojis are cool. You can even have your Memoji wear a mask.
Calls and texts with family and friends: My mom put people like my grandma, aunts and uncles and even my cousins in California, on my contact list so I can check in with them sometimes without having to make a call on. my mom’s phone.
Conclusion
We’ll reluctantly send back this trial Apple Watch and I have to say, we’re putting it on the birthday wishlist now. Just a few weeks giving this new Family Setup a try and we are happy to see how much it’s allowed us to stay in touch, but not too in touch with a device that doesn’t distract with lots of screen-time. Unlike a phone, this watch isn’t heavy on the screen/game features (there are some) which for us is a win. Yes, the price-tag is higher than what you’d consider for a kid, but I do think it’s actually worth paying for, and the cost to add it to our plan is way more affordable than adding an additional line. Definitely worth considering for any parent who wants the right balance between freedom and worry.
Family Setup is supported in Apple Watch Series 4 or later with cellular, including the new Apple SE
Audible and Highlights’ have teamed up for a special and exclusive partnership. The leaders in audio entertainment and creators of Highlights Magazine beloved and unstoppable characters come together with a new lineup!
Starting today and releasing over the next several months, families can tune into the Highlights Audible Original podcasts, beginning with Goofus and Gallant, launching today. So what can you expect? Keep scrolling!
Goofus And Gallant
8 episodes releasing weekly beginning Mar. 4
Goofus and Gallant are identical twins but do things differently. The beloved Goofus and Gallant characters from Highlights Magazine, along with their younger sister Gigi, are bound to get into all sorts of hijinks!
Ask Arizona
8 episodes releasing weekly beginning Apr. 1
Arizona is a tweenager who offers advice to kids all over the world through her own advice column. Join Arizona, her friends Mareya and Ollie, her siblings Tex and Indi and more to see what advice she doles out next!
Highlights Mystery Theater
8 episodes releasing weekly beginning May 6
Welcome to Highlights Mystery Theater! Join kid detectives, siblings Mike and Cleo McClue, as they investigate cases packed with mystery and see if you can solve the case before they do.
Lola Chick and Abuelita Hen
8 episodes releasing weekly beginning Jun. 3
Join chickadee Lola and her Abuelita Hen in Chicken Meadow in this original podcast from Highlights & Audible. The duo goes on plenty of adventures as they head to town, go camping and much more.
Head to Audible to try a free 30-day trial with a monthly cost of $7.95 each month.
Have a brainiac in your life? Keeping them challenged can be, well, a challenge. Dedimus Potestatem provides fun, academically challenging programs for students in elementary, middle and high school. Dedimus Potestatem‘s student-focused programs aim to create the next generation of well-informed, well-spoken leaders, advocates and diplomats. Their programs include Debate, Model UN, Model Congress, Mock Trial, Etiquette, STEM, Leadership, speech writing and more. They’re currently offering both virtual and in-person private and semi-private classes, group sessions and after-school programs. Read on to learn more about this cool school that will send your kid straight to the head of the class in no time!
All of Dedimus Potestatem's programs strive to empower students and integrate essential leadership skills sought after by top universities and employers. Through action-packed and exciting programs, Dedimus Potestatem teaches students to communicate, delegate, negotiate, resolve conflict, take initiative, adapt to new situations, empathize, effectively plan, manage time and more. (Do they offer these classes for adults?!)
Fun fact: Studies have shown that students who are highly engaged in their learning process learn more and retain information longer. Dedimus Potestatem has it covered, by emphasizing student proactivity and practical application of skills taught (because use it or lose AND practice makes perfect!).
Innovative Classes for the 21st Century
Dedimus Potestatem's curriculum is packed with classes to develop your kiddo's leadership skills, critical thinking abilities, and their creativity!
Many of Dedimus Potestatem's programs help learners become engaged citizens. Through Speech and Debate, students will build their literacy and multi-media research skills, work on public speaking and learn about civil engagement. With Fairy Tale Mock Trial, kids will get to experience a hands-on simulation of the American judicial system done through the role-playing of characters in children's favorite stories. Model Congress and Model UN let students take on their own worldly challenges, debate international policy and understand how to create compromises with other delegates.
Dedimus Potestatem's also has classes like STEM Bioethics to challenge kids' ethical thinking (while learning all about DNA) and programs to encourage creative thinking, including a new Visual Storytelling class that teaches kids how digital platforms are changing the arts and activism (What kid wouldn't get excited about a TikTok class?) and Finding Your Voice; Understanding and Writing Poetry—a course on understanding and building a love for poetry.
Too advanced? They've got Little Leaders covered with a Pre-K and Kindergarten class that gives students the skills they need to succeed in life. The play-based syllabus centered around character traits most sought and admired in leaders: initiative, honesty, self-control, adaptability, empathy, persuasiveness, resourcefulness, diligence, tolerance, determination, generosity, punctuality, courage, reliability, endurance, deference, creativity and integrity.
“The benefit of Dedimus Potestatem’s enrichment programs for the students went beyond raising one’s self-confidence and debate skills. The programs teach leadership and critical thinking, empowering students to stand up for what is right, fight for the truth, learn to value teamwork, develop goals, become engaged in civic discourse, and feel empowered to become beacons of peace for a better world. Just a fantastic leadership organization!” — Dr. Lidana Jalilvand, Director of After-School Programs, The United Nations International School
“Having a debate team at our school has boosted the confidence and curiosity of our participating middle-schoolers. I’ve seen huge growth in critical thinking skills and a more polished approach to expressing thoughtful opinions,” — Monica Masterson, Director of auxiliary programs, BASIS Independent Manhattan
"As a mother to a tween who first met Ms. Elizabeth at age 8 and grew up with her leadership, mock trial & debate classes, I'm simply astounded by her at 3 levels. First is her ability to connect with children. My son simply adores her, as does my 6-year-old daughter. All of her other students love her, to the extent that the parents are all fighting to have her teach their children’s classes! Second is the passion she has for her mission: to create a young generation of intellectuals with morals and integrity who critically appraise what they are presented with. When faced with an unfounded accusation of academic misconduct, instead of fear or defense, my son cautioned me against the use of ad hominem in my email response to the teacher. I was simply dumbstruck. And humbled. No price for guessing whom he’s learned that from! Last but not least is Ms. Elizabeth's ability to connect with her parents. Her smile, her enthusiasm, and the intellectually stimulating conversations are simply the best! — Vicki Tse, parent
"One of the best things to happen to my son, Sasha, was starting after-school debate and court trial classes with Elizabeth. At that time he was a nine-year-old 5th-grade student. Fast forward almost four years and he is a confident 8th grader, ready to argue what he believes in and open enough to engage adults and kids alike. Working with Elizabeth and participating in these classes has taught him teamwork, public speaking and the importance of fact-checking. Elizabeth knows how to work with kids, how to motivate them and always encourages them to do their best. She's fun, warm and always there for them—we're truly fortunate to have her be an influence in Sasha's life." — Ivana Krizanic, parent
Assemblies with special guest speakers are offered throughout the year. Click here for more info or to join their upcoming
assembly, The Frontlines of Peace, with special guest Dr. Severine Autesserre.
It feels like eons since we’ve seen Chip and JoJo grace the silver screen, but with the launch of new streaming platform Discovery+, they’re officially back! Debuting on Jan. 4, the platform is now streaming several of the upcoming shows from Magnolia Network, that will debut later this year, and has all the Gaines goodies you could ask for.
The “Magnolia Network Preview” is currently showing advanced episodes of Magnolia Table with Joanna Gaines and the new Fixer Upper: Welcome Home. The rebooted DIY fan fave is set to debut on Fri., Jan. 29, with a new episode airing each Friday through Feb. 19.
In a blog post by Chip, he writes “This past year, we have poured our hearts into content and programming for Magnolia Network. Searching for stories we believe the world needs to hear. Stories that bring us together, that let us see things in a whole new light. Stories that connect us to our roots, and to one another. And for Jo and me, it dawned on us that we wanted to be a part of this lineup with a new season of Fixer Upper.”
You can expect more of what you’ve come to love from Fixer Upper, including Demo Day, ham sandwiches, shiplap and a look into the Gaines family as they change homeowners’ lives. Get a trial of Discovery+ and stay tuned for the official launch date of The Magnolia Network later this year.
Miriam is a lifelong New Yorker who just moved to the 'burbs. She's obsessed with finding and sharing the best products and deals for moms & kids + home renovations and decor!
It’s amazing how small businesses adapted so well to quickly produce masks and improve them over a few months to make them really functional and cute! My own kids are now 2.5 and almost six and it took a lot of trial and error to find masks that both fit them well and that they want to wear.
Below are some of our favorites, as well as masks recommended by members of my Facebook deals group and NYC mom groups (you can find both groups here.
You can find my adult mask recommendations here. I also rounded up the best mask chains and lanyards here.
1
Rafi Nova
Masks in a range of fabrics and fun patterns from an ethical brand
$10
My two year old loves these masks and they fit her well. They are available in both organic and performance fabrics ranging from beautifully embroidered to camouflage print. The brand also sells a smile mask with a clear window and donates all profits from those masks to organizations that serve the deaf and hard of hearing. For 15% off your order, click below and use code MIRIAMC15.
Performance fabric with an effective and comfy fit from a small female-owned activewear brand
$15
These are my 5.5 year old's favorite mask (and the adult version is my favorite). They're made of a soft performance fabric that's especially great for outdoor activities or for when you need to wear a mask for extended periods. My 5.5 year old can wear one for hours in the heat without fussing or complaining. While they aren't adjustable and don't have a nose wire, they have an amazing close fit thanks to the rouched sides, smart shape and the give and stretch of the performance fabric. These masks also feature a hidden pocket between two layers for removable inserts (filter not included). For 15% off your purchase, click below and use code THEBESTBBY.
Athleta Girl Adjustable Made to Move Masks (three pack)
Great for active kids age 5+
$30
These masks are contoured and have soft adjustable ear loops, making them a great choice for active kids. While they are marketed to girls, they are a solid choice for any kid. They are recommended for age 5+ and have a hidden pocket for removable inserts (filter not included).
Comfy cotton spandex masks available in mommy and me styles (for even tiny faces)
$11
These simple yet comfortable masks are made by a mompreneur and available in little kid, kid and adult sizes. They feature a hidden filter pocket between the two layers of soft cotton spandex fabric. The little kid size is perfect for my 2.5 year old. For 15% off your purchase, click below and use code MIRIAM15.
This mask has a cult following among NYC moms thanks to the cute prints, soft fabric and smartly designed adjustable ear loops. The kid size fits my 2.5 year old and is too small on my 5.5. year old. They recently released a version with an infinity strap, which functions as a built in lanyard or chain to allow your child to keep his mask around his neck when he removes it. I wear the adult version but only on cooler days.
Many people have told me that this is their kids' favorite mask. It's also available in lots of fun prints, including winter/holiday prints and even a heart print that's perfect for Valentine's Day! Accordingly to my followers, the kid size generally fits ages 2-5 or 6, depending on the child's size.
These masks offer a great fit, thanks to their pleated design, soft ear loops and adjustable nose piece. They are designed for ages three to 14. While on the site, pick up peel and stick custom name labels for all your kid's clothing and gear, and iron on name labels for masks. For 10% off your label purchase, click below and use code BEST10 (discount not available on masks, stamps or sale items).
Did you know that more than 40 percent of Americans have myopia (also known as nearsightedness)1? This vision problem can develop and worsen over time as a child grows and can even be influenced by factors such as genetics2, increased screen time, and less time playing outdoors3. CooperVision’s Brilliant Futures™ Myopia Management Program with MiSight® 1 day contact lenses are the first and only soft contact lenses FDA approved* to slow the progression of myopia in children age 8-12 at initiation of treatment.†4 To find out if MiSight® 1 day contact lenses are a fit for your child, talk to your Eye Care Practitioner (ECP) and learn more about myopia management at coopervision.com/myopia-management!
*Indications and Important Safety Information. Rx only. Results may vary.
ATTENTION: Reference the Patient Information Booklet for a complete listing of Indications and Important Safety Information. Indication: MiSight® 1 day (omafilcon A) soft (hydrophilic) contact lenses for daily wear are indicated for the correction of myopic ametropia and for slowing the progression of myopia in children with non-diseased eyes, who at the initiation of treatment are 8-12 years of age and have a refraction of -0.75 to -4.00 diopters(spherical equivalent) with ≤ 0.75 diopters of astigmatism. The lens is to be discarded after each removal. Warnings: Problems with contact lenses could result in serious injury to the eye. Do not expose contact lenses to water while wearing them. Under certain circumstances MiSight® lenses optical design can cause reduced image contrast/ghosting/halo/glare in some patients that may cause difficulties with certain visually-demanding tasks. Precautions: Daily wear single use only. Patient should always dispose when lenses are removed. No overnight wear. Patients should exercise extra care if performing potentially hazardous activities. Adverse events: Including but not limited to infection/inflammation/ulceration/abrasion of the cornea, other parts of the eye or eyelids. Some of these adverse reactions can cause permanent or temporary loss of vision. If you notice any of the stated in your child, immediately have your child remove the lenses and contact your eye care professional. †Compared to a single vision 1 day lens over a 3 year period.
References:
1.Holden BA, et al. Global Prevalence of Myopia and High Myopia and Temporal Trends from 2000 through 2050. Ophthalmology. 2016;123(5):1036-42.
2.Mutti DO, Mitchell GL, Moeschberger ML, Jones LA, Zadnik K. Parental myopia, near work, school achievement, and children’s refractive error. Invest Ophthalmol Vis Sci. 2002;43(12):3633-3640. doi:10.1001/jamaophthalmol.2020.0412
3.Huang HM, Chang DS, Wu PC. The Association between Near Work Activities and Myopia in Children-A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. PLoS One. 2015;10(10):e0140419. Published 2015 Oct 20. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0140419
4.Chamberlain P, et al. A 3-year randomized clinical trial of MiSight® lenses for myopia control. Optom Vis Sci. 2019; 96(8):556-567.
Social media is overflowing with first day of school photos of our children sitting at their Instagram-worthy desks ready to learn from home. We’re all smiling for the camera, but behind the scenes the reality might be a wee bit rockier. We’re entering a school year full of uncertainty, but there’s one thing I know for sure: Transitioning to remote work is no joke.
At my job, I’ve been working remotely and managing fully-remote teams for four years. As a mom, I’m now also managing two boys who are tackling school work full time from home. Unlike in the spring when this remote learning experience was just getting started, teacher expectations are higher this fall. My children are expected to join Zoom calls for 4-5 hours each day and fully participate with cameras on.
What I’ve observed with my children and their friends is they are struggling with the transition to remote work in ways that mirror what I’ve seen in employees when they start a remote job for the first time. Adult or child, going remote is a huge transition that requires some trial and error to find what works best for you. Here are some common issues I’ve seen during the transition to remote work and how I’ve coached my employees through these rough patches. The same advice can help our kids with their own transition.
1. Lack of Focus: When you’re working from home it’s so easy to get distracted. Your dog looks like he needs a cuddle, there’s a message alert on your phone, and your neighbors are cutting their lawn. It’s hard to stay focused when there’s so much going on around you.
I’m a huge fan of old-fashioned to-do lists to help stay on track. Your child can keep a notebook or planner by their computer and before they start their day, encourage them to take a few minutes to list out what they want to accomplish that day. It could be just showing up on time to all their classes, completing homework assignments or volunteering to speak in classes.
For my own to-do list, I like to list things in order of importance so that when I start to drift away, I can use my list to center myself and remind myself of what I most want to accomplish. And don’t forget to cross things off your list as you go along. The very act of crossing something off your to-do list gives your brain a positive jolt that can help energize you for the next task.
There’s also a more high-tech solution to building focus that I recommend: noise-canceling headphones. These days it’s not unusual for four members of my family to be on Zoom calls simultaneously. Talk about a distraction! My noise-canceling headphones are my favorite pandemic purchase. They help me tune out most of the distractions when I need to concentrate.
2. Missing Social Interactions: Whether you’re transitioning from an office or a classroom, moving to full-time remote means missing out on in-person social interactions. I’ve seen this drawback of remote work be the hardest part of the shift for more social people. For others, it’s not a big deal at all. There’s no substitute for those spontaneous conversations that happen in the lunchroom or hallway, but there are some things you can do to make sure your children are still socializing and creating bonds if they’re missing them.
As an overtaxed parent, you may not like this advice, but you probably need to schedule time for your kids to chat. At my current job, we schedule virtual “coffee talks.” These informal get-togethers give us a chance to catch up and chat about anything and everything.
For kids, you can schedule calls with remote tools like Zoom or FaceTime so they can meet up with a few of their friends during their lunch break. While they eat, they can still have those relaxed conversations they’d have in the cafeteria or recess. Yes, it’s more screen time, but talking socially can be a real pick-me-up to help you power through the rest of your day.
3. Zoom Fatigue is Real: Simply put, staring at a screen all day really wipes you out mentally.
It’s important to take advantage of the breaks you get. I recommend that my employees don’t spend the five minutes between Zoom calls surfing the web or checking their emails. It’s important to get up out of your seat and move. Walking around is great, but don’t stop there. Throw in a few jumping jacks, air squats, or push-ups to shake off the mental fatigue.
Here’s the Thing: At work, I’ve seen some people transition to remote work almost seamlessly. They’re focused, productive, and happy working remotely. Others struggle and ultimately give up on it. Our kids are the same. Some will thrive and others will struggle. There’s no magic solution that will work for all children. This transition to remote learning requires patience, creative thinking, and kindness. Through trial and error, hopefully, your children will find their own version of remote work that works for them.
You teach your kids to wear a helmet and buckle up because their safety is always top of mind. Whystle, an app created by a mom of four kids, shares your values. The app provides personalized product safety alerts, recalls and other news items related to parenting that will help keep your family safe and healthy.
We know you do your best to keep up on the latest product and food recalls, but even the most super mom needs some super help sometimes. We like to think of Whystle as an extra layer of security. Here are some ways the app will help make parenting easier for you:
• When you’re researching a new product or brand, Whystle will provide a history of for that specific product type or a safety record of the brand. You’ll know whether the stroller you’re eyeing has presents a choking hazard or the dog treats you’re buying for Fido is contaminated.
• You can personalize your app so you receive product and brand alerts immediately that pertain to your stage of parenting and lifestyle habits. Get alerts affecting pregnancy, children, pets, food, allergies, medications, medical devices and much more.
• Share Whystle and your personalized feed with family and friends. This ensures that the people caring for your kids are on the same page as you and have access to the same information.
• If you own a product that’s been recalled and are entitled to a replacement, refund or some other benefit, Whystle will let you know. They’ll tell you exactly what steps to take to get what you’re owed (which is sometimes hard to navigate directly with the company).
Lauren Bell, the founder of Whystle, is a mom herself to four kids. She spent 10 years at the U.S. Department of Justice prosecuting companies for dangerous products so she knows firsthand how people kept getting hurt because the message wasn’t getting out effectively about safety issues and recalls. Her app is providing parents peace-of-mind and that is truly priceless.
Download Whystle here. Users can snag a free 7-day trial. Monthly an annual plans range from $2 to $5.99/month.
Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for always being there for me. I just can’t quit you, no matter how hard I try.
I’m sorry I get mad at you sometimes it’s just…I need space, you know? Even when I go away for a day or two, I can always count on you, waiting patiently, for my attention. You don’t mind chilling all clean in a basket while I pretend you don’t exist. You don’t mind when I leave you in the dryer and forget about you until I wash some of your friends. Heck even when you’re overflowing in the hamper, you don’t get mad me. You just wait until I’m ready, which is true compassion. Clean, dirty, left in the washer so I have to wash you again…you just stay. Day after day. Week after week. Month after month. For the rest of my life until I die. Dang, Laundry. That’s some real devotion there.
You don’t happen to know Dinner, do you? She’s not quite as…zen as you are, Laundry. She’s a little more demanding and pretty possessive actually. Between you and me, Dinner can be kind of be a b*tch. But I still gotta chill with Dinner, even when she’s being a total b. She’s not like you, Laundry. She can’t be left alone, not even for one day. Very needy. And a total diva to boot.
She constantly needs to be coddled with options and demands I shop for her at least once a week and then half the time she just lets herself go to waste because God forbid she hang out with Leftovers while I take a night off to see Bookclub. But do you think Dinner cares about my needs? No. In fact, lately, all Dinner does is get upset that it’s Chicken. Again. As if Chicken is going to be her ruination. As if Chicken is some sort of gateway to Liver.
Well, guess what? I’m done being ashamed of Chicken. Chicken gets me. Chicken is low maintenance. Chicken is adaptable to my needs and if Dinner is going to demand nightly visitation and weekly shopping, I’m bringing Chicken whenever I want, however, I want. Dinner even expects me to be perfectly punctual each night and if I dare be a little early or a little late, there’s no compassion. There’s no understanding. There’s just interrogation. Where here have you been? What have you been doing? Who were you with? I mean she literally doesn’t do crap all day except sit around and wait for me then conveniently forgets that I’m also dealing with Breakfast. And Lunch. And Snacks. Snacks alone thinks he might die if we don’t hang out seven times a day but at least he only needs a minute of my time. At least he’s not sucking the soul out of my life.
I’m beginning to think that Dinner and I might need a trial separation.
But don’t worry Laundry. I could never abandon you like that. I don’t need Dinner the way I need you because frankly…I’ve got Popcorn. But without you, Laundry, I have nothing. I know it might not always feel like it, but…I see you. I support you. And always remember—I will get to you. Eventually.
I’ll check in with you later. I gotta go see what’s up with Dishwasher. He’s so full of it.
Emily is a sometime writer, all the time mom, who constantly wonders how it is she became completely superior at loading the dishwasher. She lives in the Los Angeles area with her two budding teenagers who provide daily inspirational quotes such as: I'm hungry! and Close the door! She loves them a whole lot anyway.
