The Surprising Thing I Learned When I Compared Myself to Other Moms

A New Friend

There are times you meet a new friend and know you can have a heart to heart conversation with them. You sense they won’t judge if you reveal something you haven’t shared with anyone. This happened to me recently. What I learned surprised me and changed my mommy view.

Mom vs. Mom

As a special needs mom, my reality is changing diapers, changing clothes (several times a day), and doing what I can to keep my son healthy and happy. Does this sound familiar? Perhaps you are a mom up to your elbows in diapers and laundry too. Now add to the mix, I am doing these tasks for my eleven-year-old medically critical son. I have to keep his trach in, which he likes to pull out several times a day. Give him water through his stomach tube, monitor his heartrate and oxygen levels at night, and order supplies for his emergency equipment.

I don’t share all these things to give myself the appearance of being a Wonder Woman. I assure you, I look nothing like Wonder Woman. But, I put this in context of the conversation I had with this kind-hearted woman. She too is a mom and is raising two boys. She has no medical equipment to contend with on a daily basis. No diapers to change. Her boys are both over age ten. She happily sends them off to school and is in love with watching them grow up to be well-adjusted young men.

Now, here is where it gets interesting. Tell me you haven’t done this before. I looked at her life and realized she is a “normal” mom. Her kids are not medically critical children. They will one day be productive members of society making their momma proud. Did you catch it? I compared my role as a mother with hers. She is a real mom, I thought. In my sub-conscience, I had relegated myself to not being a “real” mom.  As if my friend’s mommy role is more legitimate than mine.

When I shared my inner thoughts with her, she said the most remarkable thing. “I see you as a super mom.” In a way, she was saying I was a Wonder Woman being a herculean mom to my forever baby. Her perception was completely different than mine. The sneaky little comparison game had reared it’s ugly head before I even knew it.

This dear woman popped that bloated balloon of self-perception and replaced it with her vision of myself and my role. What? I’m a super mom? I shook my head. My perspective shifted. Imagine that. But, guess what so are you.

Are You A Wonder Mom?

You are devoted to your family. You feed, care for, and love on your brood grooming them to be kind, loving, and compassionate human beings. Has anyone told you today that you are a super mom like my friend told me? Well, you are a super mom. You are an example of love and influence your children for good. I’d say that’s Wonder Woman status, wouldn’t you?

So, rest easy, Momma. And if you catch yourself comparing, remember this story.  What is your mommy perception of yourself? Post a comment below of how a friend helped you see your role in a whole new light. I read each one.

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Evelyn Mann

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

I am a mom to a miracle boy born with a rare form of dwarfism. He wasn't expected to live past birth, but God had other plans and he defied all the odds. He is now a 11-year-old, full of joy little mann. www.miraclemann.com