These hilarious Christmas jokes will keep the whole family laughing for hours
The weather outside may be frightful but there’s nothing like some rolling laughter and hilarious Christmas jokes to warm you right up (except, maybe cocoa). If you’re looking for the funniest Christmas jokes for kids, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve got Santa jokes, elf jokes, snowman jokes, and when you’re done, be sure to get them giggling with our ultimate list of jokes for kids, funny dad jokes, and birthday jokes.
Holiday and Christmas Jokes
1. What should you give your parents at Christmas?
A list of what you want.
2. What did the gingerbread man put under his blankets?
A cookie sheet.
3. Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
4. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He refers to his calen-deer.
5. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinselitus
6. Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?
Because it was Decembrrrrr!
7. What do you get when you cross an iPhone with a Christmas tree?
8. What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter “Y!”
9. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!
10. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?
It had no legs.
11. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?
Because he went down in history.
12. Knock knock
Donut open the presents until Christmas!
13. What is every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
14. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
15. How do chickens dance at a holiday party?
Chick to chick.
16. What's a Christmas tree's favorite candy?
17. Which reindeer always gets sent to the principal's office?
18. Where do reindeer go for coffee?
19. Why did the little boy bring his Christmas tree to the hair salon?
It needs a little trim.
20. Why didn't the tree get a present?
He was knotty.
21. What do grouchy sheep say during the holidays?
22. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?
23. How do sheep wish each other happy holidays?
Merry Christmas to ewe.
24. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
He got 12 months.
25. What does an elf study in school?
26. What do you call a greedy elf?
27. What is an elf’s favorite sport?
28. What kind of music do elves like?
29. What does an elf work on after school?
30. What kind of car do elves drive in the off-season?
31. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
32. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?
It looks like rain, deer.
33. What does Santa suffer from whenever he gets stuck in a chimney?
34. What's another name for Santa's Little Helpers?
35. What do you get when Santa plays detective?
36. How much did Santa's sleigh cost?
Nothing! It was on the house.
37. What does Santa use to keep his house sparkling clean?
38. What's Santa's favorite candy?
Snow and Snowman Jokes
39. Where does a snowperson keep their money?
In a snow bank.
40. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes. (or Frosted Flakes!)
41. What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?
A chill pill.
42. What did one snowman say to another snowman?
43. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
44. What do you get if you mix a vampire with a snowperson?
45. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
The abdominal snowman.
46. What falls but never gets hurt?
47. What snack should you make for the Snowperson Holiday Party?
Ice Krispy Treats
—Emmerson H., 13
48. What do you call a snowperson in July?
49. What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?