50 Jolly Holiday and Christmas Jokes for Kids and Adults

Holiday and Christmas Jokes

1. What should you give your parents at Christmas?

A list of what you want.

2. What did the gingerbread man put under his blankets?

A cookie sheet.

3. Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?

Elephanta Claus.

4. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?

He refers to his calen-deer.

5. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinselitus

6. Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?

Because it was Decembrrrrr!

7. What do you get when you cross an iPhone with a Christmas tree?

A pine-apple!

8. What comes at the end of Christmas Day?

The letter “Y!”

9. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?

Because of all the wrapping!

10. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?

It had no legs.

11. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?

Because he went down in history.

12. Knock knock
Who's there?
Donut.
Donut, who?
Donut open the presents until Christmas! 

13. What is every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?

Silent Night.

14. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

15. How do chickens dance at a holiday party?

Chick to chick.

16. What's a Christmas tree's favorite candy?

Orna-mints.

17. Which reindeer always gets sent to the principal's office? 

Rude-olf.

18. Where do reindeer go for coffee? 

Star-bucks.

19. Why did the little boy bring his Christmas tree to the hair salon?

It needs a little trim.

20. Why didn't the tree get a present?

He was knotty.

21. What do grouchy sheep say during the holidays?

Baaaaaa humbug!

22. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?

Moo-years Day.

23. How do sheep wish each other happy holidays?

Merry Christmas to ewe.

Elf Jokes

24. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?

He got 12 months.

25. What does an elf study in school?

The elfabet.

26. What do you call a greedy elf?

Elfish!

27. What is an elf’s favorite sport?

North-pole vaulting.

28. What kind of music do elves like?

"Wrap" music.

29. What does an elf work on after school?

His gnomework.

30. What kind of car do elves drive in the off-season?

A minivan.

Santa Jokes

31. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?

Santa Pause

32. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?

It looks like rain, deer.

33. What does Santa suffer from whenever he gets stuck in a chimney?

Santa Claustrophobia

34. What's another name for Santa's Little Helpers?

Subordinate clauses.

35. What do you get when Santa plays detective?

Santa clues!

36. How much did Santa's sleigh cost?

Nothing! It was on the house.

37. What does Santa use to keep his house sparkling clean?

Comet.

38. What's Santa's favorite candy? 

Jolly Ranchers

Snow and Snowman Jokes

39. Where does a snowperson keep their money?

In a snow bank.

40. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes. (or Frosted Flakes!)

41. What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?

A chill pill.

42. What did one snowman say to another snowman?

You’re cool.

43. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?

A snowball.

44. What do you get if you mix a vampire with a snowperson?

Frostbite!

45. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

The abdominal snowman.

46. What falls but never gets hurt?

Snow.

47. What snack should you make for the Snowperson Holiday Party?

Ice Krispy Treats

—Emmerson H., 13

48. What do you call a snowperson in July?

A puddle.

49. What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots?

50. What do you call a snowman temper tantrum?

A meltdown.