In 2024, most children have a digital footprint before they’re even born. While sharing images online can be a way to keep distant friends and relatives up to date on your child’s milestones, there’s a difference between sharing and oversharing. The “Sharenting” (parents oversharing on social media) trend is still on the rise but many parents are starting to reconsider where and how often they share images of their kids online.
A new report by the Australian Institute of Criminology has reinforced the need to play it safe where photos of kids are concerned. In a survey of more than 4,000 Aussies who had engaged in sharenting, 2.8% had received requests from predators wanting sexual photos of children on their feeds. Some were pressured, while others were offered payment, all in the hopes of getting parents to help facilitate childhood sexual exploitation (CSE). Attorney-General Mark Dreyfus summed it up well: “No parent would ever hand a photo album of their children to a stranger and the same care should apply to photos posted online.”
So, what should you think about before posting pics of your kiddos on social media? Experts have weighed in on everything from personal privacy to online safety. Keep reading to find out what they had to say.
Think Twice Before Posting Embarrassing Photos
While you might think your toddler having a tantrum or your tween misbehaving is so hilarious that you have to share it on social media, putting anything online leaves a permanent trail that will follow your kids for the rest of their lives. "Not only is this kind of oversharing disrespectful to your child, but you should also consider how these types of images or videos will be perceived by others, and the impact it could have on your kid when he/she is older," says parenting expert and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Dr. Laura Markham. If it's on the internet, as well as the possibility of humiliating them later in life, there's a chance it could be seen by school bullies, college admissions officers, and future employers. Next time, ask yourself how you would feel if it was you in the photo instead.
Consider the Message You Are Giving Your Kids
As parents, we are constantly telling our kids about the risks of using social media and teaching them about online safety, but then ignore our own advice when posting photos of them. "It's our job to teach and model online literacy and safety," says Markham. "When children grow up routinely seeing photos of themselves online, they think it's the norm. We're inadvertently teaching them that they have no privacy and no control over their online image."
According to a UK study by Parent Zone and Nominet, the average parents share almost 1,000 photos of their kids online before their 5th birthday. Many parents announce the birth of their babies all over social media, while some go one step further and hashtag their kids' names or even set up Instagram accounts for their little darlings before they can even talk. While it's kinda cute, all someone needs is a name, date of birth, and address, which they can get using a geotagged photo, and this can put youngsters at risk of identity theft and digital kidnapping, which is when someone uses photos and details of someone else's kids and pretends they are their own. According to a national internet safety expert, Katie Greer, if your kids are searchable, anyone can find out anything about them. "To maximize the online safety of your child, limit the information you share about them," she says.
Avoid Posting Photos of Your Kids in the Nude
That photo of your little angels in the bath, running around the yard in the nude, or even in their underwear might be adorable to you, but once you post it, you no longer have control over it, and anyone can do what they want with it. "There is a chance this kind of photo could end up in unintended hands. Even using seemingly harmless hashtags like #pottytraining or #bathtime can also attract the attention of the wrong people," says Greer. "Your kids' online safety is paramount, so to keep things simple, keep their clothes on."
Be Wary of Revealing Locations and Routines
It's surprisingly easy to track people using the information you can get from photos posted online. To protect your kids from potentially being discovered by child predators, Justin Lavelle, a leading expert on online safety and scam prevention and Chief Communications Officer with beenverified.com recommends turning off geotagging and location services and never posting details about where you live, including your address. "Avoid tagging the locations of places you and/or your children may be at frequently and crop out backgrounds with recognizable landmarks. First day of school? Take a picture at home with them in their new backpack, not in front of the school building with the name clearly visible," he says. "Do not advertise their routines and wait a few days before posting photos of birthday trips or visits to the park."
Get Permission to Post
While some might argue that parents have every right to post family photos, kids don't ask for such public childhoods. While babies and toddlers generally have no say in what mom or dad posts, tweens, teens, and even younger kids often feel their parents share too much about them online without their consent (and they're even covering their noses in family photos to fight back). Take Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter, Apple, who, after seeing that her mother had posted a selfie of the two of them without her permission, reportedly called her out in the comments. "While you might think it's your right to post what you want on social media when you ask kids, many don't want photos of them to be put online," says Dr. Laura Markham. "Our children have a right to decide what is posted about them and deserve not to have their privacy violated by us. It's important to get their approval first."
When you're posting photos of your kids online, especially in the public domain for all to see, it's important to consider what the people who see the photos might think. They might not like it for all sorts of reasons and will be happy to tell you exactly how they feel. This can be very hurtful. There are many instances where people have been attacked for oversharing on social media. In 2019, Pink appeared on The Ellen Show and explained why she had stopped sharing photos of her children after getting comments attacking her for posting a photo of one of her kids without a diaper.
Pay Attention to Your Privacy Settings
If you're going to post photos on social media, then check your privacy settings regularly. According to the Child Rescue Coalition, 89 percent of parents haven't checked their privacy settings in over a year. Facebook, Instagram, and other social media apps all have different settings. Without realizing it, you may be sharing your photos with the general public, aka strangers. Also bear in mind that the friends and family you share your photos with may have different privacy settings, which means they could potentially share your photos, too. "Public posting means anyone, anywhere can see it," says Lavelle. "Keep your posts private, set your profiles to private, and make sure your posts are only visible to a custom audience of friends and family."
Consider the Bigger Picture
No one knows what happens with all the photos once they have been posted on social media. Take Facebook (which also owns Instagram and Whatsapp), which has been all over the news due to data breaches and their handling of personal information. Do you want these big corporations to have access to all sorts of data on your kids that you inadvertently supply? "While it's wonderful that technology allows us to be connected with family and friends around the world using social media and other photo-sharing apps, there is so much we don’t know," says Lavelle. "It comes down to common sense, smart-decision making, and being careful what you post."
Be Present in the Moment
When your child is performing in a show or playing in a match, of course, you want to capture every proud moment on camera so you can share it with family, friends (and maybe the whole world). We've all done it. But your kids see you with your phone in front of your face instead of watching them, and you won't be able to focus on what they're doing. Next time, put your phone away, watch, and be proud. Your kiddos will love that they have your undivided attention, and you will be able to enjoy the experience much more.
As mainstream platforms like Facebook and Instagram come under fire, private social apps—like the one we offer at TinyBeans—are gaining ground for their privacy and security features. Our app offers parents a safe space to share photos, milestones, and other special moments with close family and friends. So you can go ahead and make a proud grandparent's day without worrying about those images getting into the wrong hands.
The going rate for the Tooth Fairy might surprise you
How much should a kid get when they lose a tooth? If you’re unsure what the going rate is for the tooth fairy, Delta Dental Plans Association’s Original Tooth Fairy Poll has an answer. According to the 2023 Original Tooth Fairy Poll®, the average value of a single lost tooth during the past year increased by 16% from $5.36 to $6.23, a record high in the 25-year history of the poll.
Even though the average under-the-pillow cash gift was over $6, the magic number did vary depending on the geographic area. This year, kids living in the South saw the highest returns, with an average of $6.59 per tooth, an increase of 14% from last year’s findings. Kids in the West saw a huge increase (53%!) with the per-tooth average coming in at $6.25. In the Northeast, the average dropped to $6.14, down from $7.36 in 2022. The Midwest is still trailing the national average at $5.36, but there was still a 32% increase over last year’s rates.
Of the poll, Gabriella Ferroni, Senior Director, Strategic Communications, says, “Delta Dental has been analyzing the Tooth Fairy’s U.S. annual giving trends for a quarter century, highlighting the role of good oral health care habits for children “We know this time-honored tradition will continue to bring great joy to homes across the country, and we look forward to seeing how the Tooth Fairy’s giving changes over the next 25 years. Given the projection, it would be in the Tooth Fairy’s best interest to invest in a larger purse.”
Historically, the Original Tooth Fairy Poll® mirrors the U.S. economy, tracking with the trends Standard & Poor’s 500 Index (S&P 500), but this year, the average price for a tooth increased 16% while the S&P 500 experienced an 11% decline.
Few things say summer more than a lemonade stand. And what better way to launch your kid’s entrepreneurial career? Lemonade stands are a ton of fun but also offer life lessons like goal-setting, confidence-building, and basic business skills—lessons that can set them on a path to succeed in life regardless of the path they choose.
Here are our 7 top lemonade stand tips to help your kids run the ultimate lemonade stand and get the most from the experience.
1. SET YOUR PRICE…OR MAYBE DON’T!
Our first lemonade stand tip is if your kids want to set a price for their lemonade, make sure they account for all the costs to ensure they’ll make money on each cup. It’s not just the lemons and sugar that cost money, don’t forget to factor in the cost of the cups, signs, and stand decorations.
But a totally different strategy is to not set a price at all. By asking people to pay what they want, they may raise even more money than if they set a price for each cup. If your kids are raising money for a good cause, or a local charity, this strategy can supercharge their revenue!
2. THE BEST LOCATION MAY NOT BE THE CLOSEST ONE
A lemonade stand starts strong if it’s located in a safe, accessible area with high foot traffic. If you live in a busy area, your front lawn, stoop, or driveway might be ideal. But if you live in a quieter location, think about partnering with a friend who lives in a busier area or setting up somewhere else in town. But be sure to check with your local government to make sure that they won’t need a permit.
3. THE MORE EYE-CATCHING THE BETTER
Streamers, balloons, big signs, and cute pets are all great ways for the stand to catch people’s attention. The more eye-catching the better. Check out some of the bright and colorful lemonade stands on Pinterest and Instagram for inspiration. Or better yet, encourage your kids to let their imagination fly and practice their creativity with their own ideas about how to get people’s attention.
4. PRACTICE THE PITCH
What will your kids say to potential customers? Most kids get nervous talking to adults or strangers. Have them figure out what they’ll say to potential customers, write it down, then practice the pitch. The more they practice, the more it will feel like reciting a line in a school play instead of talking to a stranger. Eventually, they’ll be so good at their pitch that they’ll stop being nervous and may even exude more confidence beyond their lemonade stand.
5. GET THE WORD OUT
Aside from making a big, eye-catching display, get a few customers by asking friends and family to stop by and support the stand. And don’t forget to spread the word on social media. You and your kids can also create flyers and pass them out around your neighborhood.
6. OFFER PAYMENT OPTIONS
Cash is king. But joggers, walkers, and cyclists usually don’t have cash on them. Let your kids borrow your phone to use your PayPal and Venmo accounts to collect money from their more active customers. Even if they’ve never collected any e-payments, a child with a sign that says “We accept Paypal and Venmo” will catch people’s attention and gain them some serious entrepreneurial cred.
7. MANAGE THE PROCEEDS
Have your kids do the math to figure out how much they sold (the revenue), how much they spent (the expenses), and what is left at the end (the profit). Make sure to let them know that while it’s great to raise money for a cause they believe in, there is nothing wrong with working hard to make money for themselves, too.
And if you need a recipe, here’s our favorite from The Startup Squad’s first book: juice from 6 lemons, 6 cups of water, and 1 cup of sugar. Yum!
I've always built businesses, from a childhood gummy bear business to adult gigs at IMAX and Coupons.com. I founded The Startup Squad to help girls reach their potential and my book series, The Startup Squad, is published by Macmillan. I live in Silicon Valley with my wife and two daughters.
Lots of time outside; the kids all splashing happily in whatever water-filled container you have.
Lots of unscheduled time, with no particular places to be or things to do.
Your kids get to just be kids for a while.
But here’s what’s also part of summer:
The crying and whining.
The endless repetitions of “I’m booooooored…” interspersed with refusals to help around the house.
And your triggered feelings.
What Happens When You Have a Big Reaction to Your Kid’s Feelings
When your kids don’t cooperate (which happens a lot when you’re together a lot), you probably go into one of four ‘modes’:
1. Fight Mode: You get combative! Your child might as well be an attacking bear that you’re fighting for your life. You will dominate them…through words (you can probably out-logic them), through your physical presence (towering over them) and/or through swatting or spanking them.
2. Flight Mode: You’ve got to get out of here! Your child might as well be an attacking bear that you’re running away from, and quickly. You check out mentally, or you physically leave the room—and when your child follows you it makes everything ten times worse.
3. Freeze Mode: The bear’s attacking, and you can’t figure out what to do. You’re mentally and physically frozen: should you counterattack? Should you run and hide? It is simply not possible for you to make a decision—about anything—at this moment.
4. Fawn Mode: Most common among people who have experienced abuse, this involves getting the difficult behavior to stop at all costs. You placate the child; reassure them; say they can have the thing they want…anything to make the crying/screaming/whining stop.
It doesn’t seem like any of these things should be part of any parent’s summer plans…and yet, here they are.
Summer isn’t over yet.
Are you gonna make it?
Here are 5 tips to help you not just survive but actually enjoy the time you’re spending with your kids this summer:
1. Don’t Multitask.
Whenever your attention is split, there’s a good chance you’re going to get frustrated. Have designated times to play with your kids—and put the phone away. Focus on nothing but being with them. At other times, tell them you’re not available now but you will be in 30 minutes/after lunch/when the timer goes off.
2. Slow Down & Simplify.
Do you need to go to every birthday party? Must you take something homemade to every gathering, or would a bowl of cherries be just as welcome? Could you eat take-out one more night a week, or cook twice as much on the nights you do cook, and eat leftovers every other night? Can you plan just a little further ahead so you don’t have to go shopping as often? The more you can slow down and simplify, the less overall stress you’ll feel, which will leave more gas in the tank to deal with the children’s meltdowns.
3. Be Realistic about What Your Child Can Do.
We hear a lot about having ‘developmentally appropriate’ expectations, but many parents expect their children to be able to do way more than they really can. A survey by respected organization Zero to Three found that over half of parents think that children under three can reliably resist the desire to do something forbidden when actually this starts to develop between ages 3.5-4. And 42% of parents think that children should be able to control their emotions—like not having a tantrum when they’re frustrated—by age 2 when again this develops between the ages of 3.4-4. If you’re expecting too much too soon, you’ll get frustrated when they can’t meet your expectations.
4. Embrace the Drop-off (Outdoor) Playdate.
If you have any access to the outdoors, and there are other families in your ‘pod,’ take turns hosting outdoor playdates. If you have a garden, the other child could bring a lunch and then you just turf them outdoors for the day—they can collect rocks, make ‘houses’ for imaginary friends; build things out of cardboard…Even traditionally indoor-based toys like LEGO and Magnatiles that they’re bored with using indoors can be fun again outdoors. Chances are having another child around will actually keep yours occupied for longer…and then your child goes to the friend’s house another time, giving you several hours off. Even if you go to the playground or park instead of your house, you could work for the life of your laptop battery, or hang out with a book. Win-win!
5. Pay Attention to What’s Going on in Your Body.
In our culture, we have an idea that everything worth paying attention to happens in our brains. But very often our bodies tell us when something’s up—like when we’re getting resentful because our child has been asking us to do things for them all day. We might feel a tightness in our shoulders, heat across our chest, nausea, or a headache long before we yell at our child, walk away from them, freeze, or fawn. We can learn to pay attention to these signals and act on them early in the day rather than letting the frustration build until we explode.
Navigating kids’ big feelings is challenging for every parent. It can be doubly challenging when you can’t stay calm in these moments, perhaps partly because you are remembering difficult events from your childhood. But just because you’ve responded with frustration up to now doesn’t mean it always has to be that way. You might think that your child needs to change their behavior but none of the ideas here involve doing that. When you change the way you show up with them, they most likely won’t do as much of the behavior you find so difficult.
Jen Lumanlan fills the gaps in her parenting intuition through research, via a Master’s in Psychology (Child Development) and another in Education. Her podcast, Your Parenting Mojo, provides rigorous yet accessible information on parenting and child development to help parents tame the overwhelm and raise resilient, thriving children.
School is officially back in session, whatever it may look like. Whether you’re still doing virtual learning or your children are attending child care or classes in-person, routines have been dramatically altered to accommodate life in an ongoing pandemic. And these routines may already be exhausting you and your family.
One effective way to deal with the stress of “normal” life in a not-so-normal time is to make space each day to practice mindfulness. It’s a lot easier said than done, especially when you look at your to-do list filled with professional and personal tasks. However, when you practice mindfulness, you’re practicing the art of creating space for yourself—space to think, breathe, slow down, connect and be fully present.
“Mindfulness is to pay attention on purpose, in the present moment, to just slow down and notice all the beautiful things around you,” said Sandra Graham, Kiddie Academy’s director of training. “It can help children focus, manage stress, self-regulate emotions and develop a positive outlook. Particularly right now, it can offer them relief from the stress and difficulties that may be occurring in their lives and help build resiliency.”
Practicing Mindfulness Each Day
We’ve developed a few activities for “Mindful Minutes,” suggestions of things you can do with your child to achieve mindfulness each day. These Mindful Minutes reflect the Kiddie Academy Life Essentials philosophy and help children concentrate on the positives around them, developing a sense of appreciation, gratitude and contentment.
In a playful way, use these activities and games to introduce your child to breathing practices and other techniques to develop focus and sensory awareness, while reducing stress and regulating emotions.
Take your children for a walk outside. Invite your little ones to listen to how the leaves blow in the wind. Direct their attention to the warm sun as it bathes their faces. Listen to birds in the distance as they chirp. Focusing on the surroundings helps your children connect to their environment. It brings their attention to the here and now.
Encourage your little one to think from head to toe about how they’re feeling. This can be a good way to start the day or just something to do when you think your children need to center themselves.
Find a relaxing place, or a “happy” place. Sit comfortably in a quiet place that’s free from too many distractions and set a timer for one minute. Breathe deeply in and out, slowly. Let your mind and body rest and relax from any pressures.
The busyness and hurry of life shows no signs of slowing down, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take time when you and your child need it. So, remember to take a minute (or more!) each day with your kid(s) to practice mindfulness and center yourself in the present moment. You may come out with a sense of gratitude or energy for the days ahead of you.
Joy has over 20 years of experience in early childhood education. As Vice President of Education at Kiddie Academy Educational Child Care, she oversees all things curriculum, assessment, training and more. Joy earned a B.S. in Education from Salisbury University.
Calling all Potterheads! A visit to Universal Studios not in the cards right now? Never mind, because you can still get your Butterbeer fix: at Dairy Queen.
Tiktok User @thedairyqueenking has been wowing fans for quite some time with DQ creations but the newest magical creation takes the cake. Pay attention, because this concoction is not on the official menu!
To treat your Butterbeer craving, start by ordering a Blizzard with vanilla syrup, butterscotch syrup, Butterfinger pieces and whipped cream. That’s it!
Be forewarned that not all DQ locations carry butterscotch, so you might want to check before getting too excited, or just order it with caramel instead.
For a plethora of reasons, kids need all the sleep they can get. But trying to get your littles to find the R&R they need can be a challenge for parents.
In a new study by Stanford Medicine, researchers found a simple and effective way that children can snag an extra hour of sleep. Published in The Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, the study found that at-risk children who participated in meditation gained more than an hour of sleep per night!
photo: iStock
So what did the meditation entail? Within the curriculum, more than 100 third and fifth-graders were trained to bring their attention to the present, practice yoga-based movements and learn exercise for deep breathing.
The coursework was taught twice a week for two years in elementary and middle schools within the study. Interestingly enough, despite the instructors not providing techniques to help sleep specifically, children within the study gained an average of 74 minutes of sleep per night.
While the results demonstrated a vast amount of data surrounding the topics of stress, meditation and sleep, the main takeaway is that the art of meditation can go a long way when it comes to preparing for bedtime. Not sure where to start? Check out this easy way to calm down before bedtime and these easy meditations for kids to get on your way to a peaceful bout of slumber.
To read all the important takeaways, you can read the entire study here.
I have always been a dog lover. I grew up with a rotating pack of dogs who were way more than pets — they were true members of our family. They went on roadtrips with us, slept in our beds, and joined us on vacations. My mom even used to make us get off the sofa for our dogs. (but now where do WE sit?!)
So naturally, I knew my kids would grow up with furry siblings. What I didn’t realize was what they would take away from these relationships. Beyond the obvious benefits of love and companionship, my kids have learned some key life lessons from our dogs.
1. You Can’t Control Everything
This is a big one. The earlier we learn this lesson, the better we are able to handle life’s setbacks and curveballs. When there’s a dog in the house, anything goes.
She chewed your Barbie doll? Probably shouldn’t have left it in the middle of your floor. You were startled when she jumped up on you as you walked in the door? Then assert yourself, and teach her to stay down while she greets you.
Yes, kids like predictability.
But here’s the thing — life is unpredictable. From a young age our kids have stepped in dog poop in the yard (no worries, we’ll clean it up), had toys chewed by teething puppies (a good reminder to put your things away), and have had to maneuver through a maze of dogs when visiting relatives (just let them sniff your hand and say ‘hello,’ then they’ll leave you alone.)
Being around dogs has taught them that things might not always go as planned, and that’s ok.
2. Spend Time Outside Everyday
In this day in age, it’s easy for our kids to go from school, to extra-curricular activities, to homework or screen time, to bed. The benefits of playing outside, or even just going for a short walk, are plentiful. One of the many benefits is emotional well-being.
As Thetrek.co states: “Spending time in nature has been linked to improved attention span, boosts in serotonin, and shows increased activity in the parts of the brain responsible for empathy, emotional stability, and love.”
When there’s a dog who needs to exercise, it’s an instant excuse for kids to be outdoors. Whether it’s throwing a ball in the backyard, taking a walk around the block, or going for a hike in a nearby park, your dog’s need for daily exercise gets your kids outside too. And if that time outside results in clear-headed kids and an exhausted dog, well then it’s a win for parents too!
3. The Importance of Keeping A Loved One’s Memory Alive
For most kids, their first experience with death is that of a pet. When our first two dogs passed away, the kids were devastated, and so were we. It lead to a lot of questions about illness, aging, and what happens when we die. We had a lot of conversations, and one of the big takeaways was that it’s important to talk about these things.
We are constantly talking about the ways our new dog reminds us of our old ones, and remembering funny things they used to do when they were still alive. Learning the importance of talking about and remembering those who are no longer with us will hopefully help them as they grow up and inevitably have to face the loss of family and friends.
4. What You Put into A Relationship is What You Get Out of It
The more affectionate the kids are with our dog, the more attention she gives them. Her excitement when they get home from school, her presence at their games, and her snuggles on the couch, makes them feel appreciated and valued. In return, they read to her, play with her, and generally show her the same unconditional love she shows them.
I hope this teaches them that love is a two way street. In all of their relationships, whether it be with friends, family or spouses, the love they show for others and the way they care for them, will only enhance the love and care they get in return.
The relationship our kids have with our dog will be a defining part of their childhood; she will be what they miss when they go off to college. I know that they will carry the lessons she has taught, and continues to teach, throughout their lives. And for that I’m grateful.
Love pets as much as we do?
Tinybeans, the app that allows you to upload and share photos and videos of your little ones with anyone you choose and no one you don’t, has teamed up with Hill's Pet Nutrition to allow users to add a pet! You can create a profile for your four-legged friend, share their photos and videos, receive milestone markers for them and see recommended articles based on your pet’s age and stage.
Up for a challenge? Create a pet profile today, and see if you can add a new memory each day this month. Your furball will love the added attention, and you'll love the fun photos you can look back on!
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I'm Missy, a mother of three and a middle school drama teacher at a private school. I'm obsessed with my Vizsla (dog), traveling, and the musical Hamilton. I also enjoy writing and sharing fun parenting stories, which is what brought me here.
Attention cruise lovers! The newest ship in the Disney Cruise Line fleet is now accepting reservations.
The Disney Wish is getting ready for its inaugural season which launches on Jun. 9 2022 from Port Canaveral on a five-night voyage. The first sail will feature two days at sea and stops in Nassau, Bahamas and Castaway Cay, a private Disney island.
After that, guests can make reservations on three- and four-night itineraries for the ultimate family vacation. In typical Disney fashion, cruise passengers get a slew of amenities at their fingertips, such as meals, Broadway-quality shows, access to Disney’s private island, character experiences, kids club, music, world class pools and more.
The soccer team huddled around one boy’s phone, leaning in to get a closer look. The image on the screen was of a 13-year old student’s breasts. The private photo, taken months earlier, had gone viral.
Yes, unfortunately, sexting happens in middle school. To start, let’s clarify the definition of sexting.
Sexting is defined as “the action of sending sexually explicit photos, videos or messages via mobile phone or the internet.” Middle school counselors and teachers are concerned about the behavior as it is becoming increasingly common.
Youth Sexting Statistics
According to a 2017 Study by JAMA Pediatrics, 14% of youth reported sending sexts, and 27% reported receiving sexts. Also, 1 in 8 youth reports either forwarding or having a sext forwarded without their consent.
Why are middle school students sexting?
According to KidsHealth, there are various reasons kids are sexting, such as peer pressure, getting attention, flirting, or as a joke or dare. The fact that tweens and teens’ prefrontal cortex is not fully formed, the part of the brain that manages impulse control, also contributes.
What problems result from sexting?
As illustrated in the opening story, private photos are often widely shared, negatively impacting reputations and mental health. In some states, sharing illicit photos and videos is a crime. Tweens and teens may face charges and legal consequences. Sharing or having a nude photo on your phone could result in a child pornography charge. One impulsive decision can affect a student’s life for years to come.
What can parents do?
1. Regular family conversations about online behaviors build a foundation as tweens and teens navigate their lives online. Helping kids understand and avoid oversharing is an important step. Share real stories about teens that overshared online and how it impacted their life. Share stories of how colleges and employers look at social profiles before accepting or hiring students. Make sure kids understand the legal consequences of sexting.
Conversation starter: “I was watching the news and saw a story about some kids who got in trouble for sending nude pictures to friends. Did you hear about that?”
2. Regularly remind teens that nothing shared online is ever private.
Before posting anything, it’s essential for teens to consider how they would feel if a wider audience saw the image or message. (i.e. Grandma, school principal, coaches, other friends, other parents, your whole school, college admissions person). Remind them that once images are out there, they leave a digital footprint. They can’t “take it back.”
Conversation starter: “Can we talk about the types of things you and your friends share online? I want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself and looking out for your friends too.”
3. Keep the tone of conversations non-judgemental and informative.
This will help to keep the dialogue going instead of sounding like a lecture. Rather than leading the discussion, make sure you listen to your tween/teen. Discuss the pressures that teens often experience to send inappropriate photos.
Conversation starter: “Have you heard about sexting? Do you know anything about it?”
Bottom line, sexting is becoming increasingly common. Start conversations as soon as your child has a smartphone and revisit conversations regularly. Developing healthy online habits takes attention, discussion, and lots of practice. The road is full of bumps but luckily gets smoother as parents help kids navigate the potholes.
Jessica Speer is the author of BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? Girls Guide to Happy Friendships. Combining humor, the voices of kids, and research-based explanations, Jessica unpacks topics in ways that connect with tweens and teens. She’s the mother of two and has a Master’s Degree in Social Sciences.