ML Interest Tag: bonding

4 Tips for Setting Family Goals

By Kristen Wessel

Can you believe we’re already in 2020? If you’re feeling left out from everyone’s New Year’s resolutions, don’t worry. Now is still the perfect time to set resolutions for the rest of the year. 

But guess what? Resolutions aren’t confined to just individuals. You can make resolutions as a family unit, including your spouse and children on the New Year’s fun, too. In fact, it’s important to set joint goals with your family. It’s great for bonding, gives you a sense of purpose, and sets a better example for your kids. If you’re craving more family connections, it’s time to choose a family resolution for 2020. 

But these family resolutions can’t be a mandate. It should be a collaborative process that excites and empowers both you and your kids. That’s the only way you can make resolutions that stick. Here are my 4 cardinal rules for setting fun resolutions that stick.

 

4 Tips for Setting Family Goals: Hitting a wall with your goal-setting? Follow these 4 tips to make better resolutions that your family can actually achieve by the end of 2020. 

1. Involve kids in the process. As a parent, you make a lot of decisions for your children. While you have their best interests at heart, kids want the freedom to make their own choices. Since a New Year’s resolution is a pretty low-key decision, give your kids some power here. Let every family member voice their opinions. Ask your kids questions like:

  • What do you want to do this year? 

  • What’s important to you? 

  • What do you want to do more of? 

  • What do you want to do less of?

You can ask questions to guide the conversation, but let your kids answer honestly. Self-expression is key to raising confident kids. Plus, they’ll be more likely to stick to a resolution that matches up with their goals, even if that goal is, “Eat less vegetables.” 

Let each family member choose a family goal for 2020. You can either incorporate each person’s goal into one big goal for the family or create several New Year’s resolutions. It’s up to you! But whatever you do, make sure everyone has a seat at the table. That’s key for follow-through. 

2. Make it tangible. As an individual, you might track your New Year’s resolution progress in an app or spreadsheet. But that’s not as easy to do as a family. You certainly don’t want to encourage too much screentime for the kids, anyway. That’s why it’s important to make your goals tangible. Instead of tracking your family resolutions in a spreadsheet, create a New Year’s resolution advent calendar or checklist. Display it on the side of the refrigerator or another space where everyone can see it. 

When the kids make progress on their goals, involve them in the tracking process to make it tangible. Let them cross tasks off with markers, mark milestones with stickers, or even do a “happy dance” when they hit a goal. Choose a way to make resolutions tangible so your kids get excited to make progress on their goals. 

3. Review each week. Whether you set goals as an individual or as a family, you have to review those goals regularly. Otherwise, you’re doomed to forget about your resolution and fall off the wagon. Make it a point to review your New Year’s resolution with the family every week. If you have a weekly family dinner or board game night already, add New Year’s goal tracking to it. If not, set up a regular time each week to review goals. Frantic Tuesday nights after soccer practice probably aren’t the best time to talk about goals. Pick a time when your family will be relaxed and at home. Celebrate what you’re doing well, the progress everyone has made, and what you need to do next. This way, both you and the kids will stay true to your goals. 

4. Hold everyone accountable. A goal without accountability is just a dream. The great thing about setting New Year’s resolutions as a family is that you already have a built-in accountability system. If your goal is to become more active as a family, you have 2-3 other people to hold you accountable. Maybe you don’t want to go on a bike ride after a long day at work. Without accountability, you would probably spend all night bingeing Netflix. But with accountability, your kids will pull you out the door (sometimes literally) so you meet your goals together. And if someone isn’t holding up their end of the bargain, gently nudge them to keep pushing forward on their goals. If you’re tracking goals in a tangible way and reviewing them each week, it’s much easier to hold people accountable. 

But don’t take “accountability” to mean “chastise.” People are people and they’re going to forget things. Keep New Year’s resolutions fun and light by emphasizing your family’s progress over its shortcomings. Otherwise, the resolutions will seem more like a punishment than a fun challenge you get to tackle together. 

2020 marks the start of a fresh, new decade. Make the most of the New Year by making resolutions as a family. Involve your kids in the process, track goals in a tangible way, review them every week, and hold each other accountable so your resolutions will stick. Who knows? With the right approach, this could become your next family tradition. 

 

As a former Emmy-Award Winning News Anchor and over 10 years of experience in the news industry, Kristen prides herself on being able to tell great stories. As an expert in communications and mother of two, Kristen gives her tips and tricks.

 
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6 More Great Reasons to Read with Your Children

By Jennifer Landis

It’s the perfect end to a long day—you let your children choose a book, you all snuggle up, and you read together. It’s more than just a bonding experience, though. Reading to your kids will shape their minds and behaviors in more ways than one. In fact, we have six more reasons why your family literature sessions should be a regular activity: 

1. Reading Boosts Vocabulary. As an adult, you probably still come across words in books that you don’t know. You might look them up to learn the definition and add a few more words to your vocabulary. Your children experience this newness every time you read to them. They soak up information like sponges, too—the more you read, the more words they learn. 

This effect can start at an early age. Nowadays, pediatricians recommend that you start reading to your little ones in infancy. Doctors even say that babies can understand the emotions behind the words you read to them. So, as they get older, comprehending the feeling turns into an understanding of what the word means. 

You’ll also see this manifest as improved speech, too. Hearing you pronounce words properly will show your children how they should speak, too. This advantage extends beyond vocabulary—your children will learn correct sentence structure and improve their grammar as well. 

2. Reading Increases Attention Spans. Little children aren’t known for their ability to pay attention for long stretches. However, reading helps them to hone this skill—they want to know how the story will end, after all. You’ll have to start small, as you can’t expect your little one to pay attention for hours right away. Instead, start with a short picture book, perhaps one that takes 10 minutes to read. Then, work your way up to longer stories—even the most energetic brood will sit and listen to a story that has captivated them. Clearly, this skill will come in handy down the line when your children go to school. Sitting and listening with interest will get them far academically, too. 

3. Reading Will Foster a Lifelong Love of Books. You love nighttime reading and snuggles, and your children do, too. If you make it part of your daily routine, then they’ll always think of reading as something warm and positive. As they grow, they’ll only continue to crack open books and read on their own. 

Just make sure that you’re choosing the right stories now to forge an enduring interest. You have plenty of resources to help you do so. For starters, award-winning children’s books tend to do the trick. Or, you can ask your kids while you’re reading. Do they like the story? If so, keep that book in rotation and maintain their interest in reading. 

4. Reading Strengthens Imaginations. Children’s books typically come with gorgeous pictures, which allow your kids to see and understand the words that you’re reading. However, they will also begin to conjure images of the story in their minds. As you read to them more, their imaginations only continue to grow. 

It’s vital that children hone their imaginations and imaginative play at an early age. Playing pretend gives children the opportunity to express emotions both positive and negative. Such a skill will serve them for the rest of their lives. It can all start with reading and helping them to explore the creative side of their minds.

5. Reading Boosts Children’s Comprehension. Books unlock a lot of learning potential. For instance, your story’s likely to introduce your child to a character who has a dilemma. As you read to your child, they’ll start to understand these problems. If you ask them, they might even come up with a solution to the issue on their own. 

On top of problem-solving and plot, kids can also increase their comprehension of emotions and morality. Did that character do what’s right? How do you think he feels? They’ll start to put themselves in the story to better understand it, thus making them smarter and more emotionally adept. 

6. Reading Provides Quality Time Together. We’ve already touched on this benefit, but it’s worth mentioning once more. When you read with your kids, you have their undivided attention for a sliver of time. There’s no toy or screen in the way of your bonding. Instead, you sit on the couch or snuggle in bed and read together. As your children grow up, you’ll find yourself wanting to press the pause button more than once. You can’t stop time, of course, but reading together gives you the chance to slow it down. 

So, start to build a collection of kid-friendly books, or gather some from your local library. That’s all you need to start this daily ritual—one that will make both you and your children happy. 

Jennifer Landis is a mom, wife, freelance writer, and blogger. She enjoys long naps on the couch, sneaking spoonfuls of peanut butter when her kid's not looking, and binge watching Doctor Who while her kid's asleep.  She really does like her kid, though, she promises. Find her on Twitter @JenniferELandis.

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This Daddy Daughter Zombie Photo Shoot Is Peak Halloween Love

by Shahrzad Warkentin

Quality family time doesn’t have to be all rainbows and lollipops. One family took their love of all things creepy and gory and turned it into a bonding moment with an incredibly unique daddy-daughter zombie photoshoot.

Mom of three and photographer Tiffany Renfroe set up an unusual photo shoot for her youngest daughter, 11-month-old Oakley, and her husband, Daniel, inspired by his passion for horror films. As Renfroe explained to CafeMom, “My daughter Kaiden and him started watching The Walking Dead,” she says. “It was their thing, waiting day by day for the next season.”

Renfroe decided to turn that special bonding time in another way to bond with a zombie twist on the traditional daddy-daughter photoshoot. It took several days for Renfroe to scout locations and put together everything she needed, but she did it with the assistance of her kids. It also took a whopping two hours to get Daniel and baby Oakely in make-up (no contacts were used on her eyes for the record, all editing magic), but again it was the perfect opportunity for more creative family fun.

“There was no getting her to stay still. I worked in her world and made it fun — the tricks moms know how to pull when they need or want things done,” she told CafeMom.

In the end, all the effort paid off with a unique experience the family will never forget. Though Oakley will be too young to remember, she’ll have the photos to remind her. The internet won’t soon forget it either. Renfroe shared the zombie daddy-daughter photoshoot in a Facebook post where it swiftly went viral, garnering thousands of likes and shares.

Renfroe is grateful for the response and hopes it will inspire other families to get creative with their time together. “Whatever you choose to do with your children, do something with them!” she told CafeMom.

“Children need our time, they need us, they need laughs, giggles, hugs, and adventure! That is what they will remember! They aren’t going to remember eating cake and berries off of some fake intestines until the photos are shared at her wedding.”

—Shahrzad Warkentin

All photos: Courtesy of Tifflynn Photography

 

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New Clear C-Section Drapes Give Moms a Whole New Birthing Experience

by Shahrzad Warkentin

Not being able to witness the first moment your baby enters into the world can be a down side to undergoing a cesarean section. Clear c-section drapes could give moms a whole new point of view, however.

Photos taken by birth doula and photographer Tracey Abney went viral last year because they featured the unique clear c-section drapes that allow moms to see their babies being born. The clear drape features a removable opaque drape attached to the clear one, so that the view can be blocked until the time comes for the baby to be born. Then the opaque drape is removed giving moms a clear view.

“Clear drapes help the mother feel like she is part of the birthing process,” Abney told Parents. “She can see her baby before it is taken to the warmer. She can see the baby when everyone else does, the moment the baby is born. She can match the sound of the baby’s cries while watching the quiver of the baby’s little chin.”

The clear drape is part of a growing trend called a “gentle c-section.” The idea behind this trend is to try to give moms and babies more of a bonding experience through the entire process. “A gentle C-section allows a woman to be almost as involved as if her birth was happening vaginally,” Dr. David Garfinkel, attending physician at Morristown Medical Center, and senior partner at One to One FemaleCare, in New Jersey told Parents.

Parents-to-be can discuss a birthing option like this one with their own healthcare provider.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Cherry Blossom Doula via Instagram

 

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Here’s Why You Should Never Stop Playing

By Anna Yudina

Play is an important part of growing up, not only during childhood but also into adulthood and later in life. However, as we grow older, the free, unstructured play that once used to fill our time is replaced by more structured sports and game-playing and then turns to more sedentary activities.

According to The Genius of Play, an initiative spearheaded by The Toy Association to raise awareness with parents, caregivers, and educators about the importance of play, giving children the opportunity to play with the whole family, including grandparents, provides a multitude of benefits for both young and old alike.

With Grandparent’s Day on September 8, I spoke to Dr. Amanda Gummer, child psychologist and founder of Fundamentally Children, who explained that when kids have contact or play with older adults, they display higher levels of language development and problem-solving skills. Playing with people of different ages allows little ones to improve social and communication skills, while bonding and creating shared memories and traditions. When grandparents tell stories about their own lives, it helps children open their horizons and understand more about the world around them.

And while children can gain an enriched learning experience from interacting with positive role models, playtime is also great for grandparents, as it gives them a chance to reminisce about their childhood. Playtime with grandchildren also promotes relaxation, reduces stress and increases activity levels in older generations, helping to increase coordination and maintain cognitive skills. Staying in good health allows grandparents to be able to experience new things with their grandchildren, which can build a foundation for a relationship that will last a long time.

Children bring innocence, joy, laughter, and youthfulness into any environment and the elderly bring wisdom, experience, and maturity. So, with Grandparent’s Day on the horizon, remember to encourage a healthy, playful relationship between your kids and their grandparents.

 

Anna Yudina is the Director of Marketing Initiatives for The Toy Association™, a not-for-profit trade association that represents toy companies. Currently, she’s spearheading The Genius of Play™, a parent-focused movement raising awareness of play as a crucial part of child development and encouraging families to make time for play daily.

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Hoda Kotb’s Daughter Met Jenna Bush Hager’s New Baby & It Was Adorbs

by Shahrzad Warkentin

The Today show family expanded yet again when host Jenna Bush Hager welcomed her third child with husband Henry Hager on Aug. 2. They’ve had many excited visitors since his arrival, but none as cute as Hoda Kotb’s daughter.

Henry “Hal” Hager has had a parade of visitors since his birth just a few days ago, from Today show host Savannah Guthrie to President Bush (also known as Grandpa). Hager shared one of the cutest visits in an Instagram photo of Kotb’s two-year-old daughter, Joy, holding Hal.

“Look who came to visit,” Hager captioned the photos. “Swipe to see the moment my heart-melted.”

Co-hosts Hager and Kotb have grown to become fast friends since Hager joined the show and took over the spot recently left open by Kathie Lee Gifford. Besides their Today show duties, both women now have new babies at home to care for as Kotb adopted her second daughter, Hope Catherine, in April, just one week before Hager revealed her pregnancy.

There’s nothing more bonding than going through life with a new baby together. “We are creating these new things together. New lives, and a new show as a team,” said Hager.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Jenna Bush Hager via Instagram

 

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These 4 Books Are the Perfect Baby Shower Gifts

By Keira Pride

Books are the perfect baby shower gift because they will be enjoyed for many years after the child is born. They will spark baby’s love for reading because so many new books are designed to capture little imaginations. Research has found that reading to a baby can improve communication, introduce words and concepts, and build listening, memory, and vocabulary skills. Even though young babies won’t understand everything that they’re hearing, reading to them provides a bonding experience and allows them to learn more about the world. Here is a list of books that we at Stratford School love for baby showers.

For the Feminist Mom: Baby Feminists Written by Libby Babbott-Klein and Illustrated by Jessica Walker This lift-the-flap board book is irresistible to our youngest ones because it is full of babies! It is a great way for parents to introduce some of the most inspiring, trailblazing female change-makers of our time in a whimsical way. It is whimsical, which makes it less intimidating and more fun. Gloria Steinem, Frida Kahlo and Malala are some of the featured women in this engaging introduction to feminism. A sure hit that will make you laugh while learning about history.

New Take on an Old Classic: Tomorrow Most Likely Written by Dave Eggers, Illustrated by Lane Smith Parents love to read a book to their children at bedtime. There is no better time to bond with your child while helping them calm down from a day full of activities.  Award-winning author Dave Eggers’ brand-new bedtime book doesn’t focus on going to bed. This book explores all of the dreamy, wonderful, exciting things that the next day might bring. This book is quite possibly a modern version of “Goodnight Moon” that makes going to bed more fun! What could happen tomorrow? Maybe we should go to sleep to find out! The unusual but beautiful illustrations will keep even the youngest children interested until the very end of the book. Parents can conclude with a talk about what their own family has planned for the following day.

Light, Cute and Funny: Everything is Mama Written by Jimmy Fallon, Illustrated by Miguel Ordóñez Cute is the only way to describe this second baby book by comedian Jimmy Fallon. As a follow-up to his very popular Your Baby’s First Word Will be DADA, this book is quite similar in st‌yle. Our youngest readers love repetition; they thrive on hearing the words over and over. This book has few words but does repeat them in a way that may just have a youngster saying, “Mama!” Ending with a heartwarming message about how mamas feel about their babies, this book will delight adults and children alike.

A Multicultural Read: Mixed: A Colorful Story by Arree Chung This masterfully written children’s book is illustrated with powerful metaphors for social justice that are easily relatable to our youngest readers. With a very simple plot, the author makes it fun, accessible, and easy to understand. The bravery of two main characters to defy their community’s segregation by color (red, blue, and yellow), results not only in the creation of a new color, green, but transforms their town into something amazing. A great way for children to learn about colors while getting an introduction to inclusion and diversity.

We hope these books will make great gifts and happy reading!

Keira Pride is the Head Librarian at Stratford School, the leading independent private school founded with a vision of creating a unique, multi-dimensional, educational foundation for children. As Stratford's Head Librarian, she manages the library services department across campuses throughout Northern and Southern California. 

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5 Ways to Support a Friend Returning to Work After Maternity Leave

By Fairygodboss Georgene Huang & Romy Newman, Founders

Photo: Pixabay

Returning to work after maternity leave is an exciting time for some, but a stressful and sad time for others.  I remember my first day back to work after maternity leave.  I took my son to the sitter’s house, got into my car and bawled like a baby. While I liked my team and was happy to be returning to my corporate strategy role, I was heartbroken to be leaving my little guy with someone else.

Fast forward to today and I’ve successfully navigated my own maternity leaves, coached clients returning from leave and supported countless friends through the process.  While there are many things you can do to support a friend who’s returning to work, there are five key things that will make a big difference for her.

1. Offer to help around her house.

She may not be able to to envision what she needs, but trust me, the transition from being home with baby to going back to the office is tough.  If she’s like most moms on leave, she’s doing the lion’s share of the household duties, including cooking, laundry, and running errands.  By the end of maternity leave, many moms have developed a new set of habits and routines that are predicated on her being home and having control over her schedule.  Showering, doing laundry or quickly preparing a meal while the baby is napping have become part of her routine.

A rude awakening comes on that first day back to work.  Gone are the days of taking a shower at noon or a nap at 4 pm if she had a rough night with the baby.  Now, she’s having to get up, get herself work ready, get the baby ready for a sitter or daycare and get out of the door early in the morning. She likely returns home that evening tired and desperate to spend some quality time bathing and bonding with her baby before the little one heads to bed.  The flexibility she had during maternity leave has disappeared over night.  Offer to stock groceries in the house, bring over prepared meals, process some laundry or send a cleaning service.

2. Be a good listener.

Returning to work is often fraught with emotions. She is simultaneously recalibrating the division of labor with her spouse or partner, spending less time with her baby and juggling being a mom with her work responsibilities.  Each of these can be tough.  She may not ask for help, but will appreciate it.  Call to check on her and listen. She will need to vent at times and process emotions.  Offer advice where you can, but what’s more important is that you are there for her.

3. Give her small gifts to take to work.

Small gifts to brighten her space and make her feel special are appreciated. Framed pictures of her baby for her desk, accessories to make pumping at work easier or flowers and an encouraging note can bring her joy.  Once the baby shower has passed and after friends have brought the new baby gifts, the attention that the family — and especially the mom — receives will dwindle.  Small tokens of support and appreciation will be unexpected and go a long way.

4. Buy, loan and recommend work clothes.

If she has to wear professional clothes to work, getting back into her work clothes — especially if she’s pumping — can be stressful and, for some, demoralizing.  If you have clothes you can lend her, great.  If not, researching and purchasing pump-friendly work clothes can be a game changer for her.

5. Get her out of the house.

Once the reality of juggling work and her new baby sets in, your friend may find it difficult to make time for herself.  Take her for a walk or out for coffee. She’ll appreciate the support and the break from her new routine.

Your friend’s journey to juggling working motherhood is a long and fruitful one. Being a great source of support during her early days will be remembered and appreciated for years to come.

– Julie Finn for Fairygodboss

Fairygodboss Georgene Huang & Romy Newman, Founders
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

As the largest career community for women, Fairygodboss provides millions of women with career connections, community advice and the hard-to-find intel about how companies treat women.

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4 Fun Family-Bonding Ideas to Make Your Next Family Vaycay a Blast

By Brandon Jarman

The family vacation is often lampooned as a torturous rite of passage—full of backseat bickering, auto (and emotional) breakdowns and the odd smells. While these common adversities do happen, they don’t have to destroy your family’s vacation. In fact, the family vacation still offers plenty of benefits for kids and family bonding.

Family getaways can strengthen bonds through shared experiences and memories—good and bad. Only the family knows how funny Dad’s poolside cannonball is. Or how a flat tire at midnight can inflate fears of being stranded. Vacation experiences like these become part of your family’s collective memory. And they can bring you together or divide you up.

But with a little planning and strategy, you can make sure your family vacation is packed with meaningful moments. Here are some bonding ideas to try during your next family getaway.

Try a New Activity or Sport

Before you leave for your trip, make a list of possible activities or sports that no one has ever experienced. Sharing first times and epic fails builds a collective empathy and appreciation for one another’s efforts. You may want to include your children in constructing the list. Regardless, include enough options to appeal to different interests, but not so many that it invites argument.

Choose activities that have small to medium time investments. All day hikes into the woods may sound exciting, but trekking six miles will over-stretch the group’s interest and energy levels. You’ll end the day with sore feet and grouchy dispositions. Instead, try learning to surf with your teenager. It’s healthy, unscheduled and you look cool even when falling. Or visit a small, quirky museum that’s interesting, yet takes a short time to take in. The point is don’t over commit the group to any one thing, despite how awesome it sounds.

Plan Downtime

Over-scheduling your vacation is what makes it feel like work. Don’t fill every moment with deadlines and must-see sites. Nothing bad will befall your family if you have to forego the Statue of Liberty. Everyone needs time to relax and recharge, so be flexible and schedule plenty of time to veg out.

But if you can’t get over the fear of missing out, combine downtime with something you can do alone as a group. Short naps, watching TV, screen time, reading, snacking or playing board games will let you relax and recharge together. Downtime is the part of your home life you bring on vacation. It connects you to your normal routine, resets the group’s energy and prepares you for the next leg of the trip.

Do Informal Dining

Most vacation plans include plenty of eating out. But formal dining can be a big stressor, especially for parents with young children. The fine china and fancy meals only make a kid’s bad behavior stick out more. Keep formal dining to a minimum, so you’re not ending your five-star meal as a ball of anxiety. Instead, opt for cafe fare or local family restaurants where the vibe is more relaxed.

Better yet, take the opportunity to turn meals into a bonding experience. Pack a picnic and go to the park. Grab some hot dogs, buns and a s’mores kit to cook over an open fire. Order from hotel room service, dress fancy and dine in your hotel room. Get take out and drive to a scenic overview. Pick a local restaurant at random and go on a culinary adventure. Cook a family favorite in your vacation home kitchen.

There are plenty of options for fun and adventurous informal dining. And it’s easier to have a legitimate bonding moment when you don’t have to worry about keeping your elbows off the table.

Build a Vacation Scrapbook

While most families construct their vacation scrapbooks after the fact, creating one while on vacation can foster bonding. Use scrapbooking as an excuse for you and your family to store keepsakes, record memories or post pictures. Organize your scrapbook chronologically or randomly. Divide it into sections by person or event … or not at all. You can construct one from physical materials or build an online scrapbook.

While you should encourage everyone to participate, don’t make it mandatory. That will only equate making memories to “doing homework.” Take a moment to ask your children why they are keeping or recording something. Why is it special to them? What did the experience mean? Use their answers to get to know them better and help them to explore their feelings. And explain your own reasons for including things. Use the opportunity to demonstrate how family traditions are about sharing stories and memories.

Brandon Jarman is a recent Brigham Young University graduate who is currently living In Salt Lake City. When he’s not writing, he enjoys spending time with his family, hiking and eating delicious Mexican food. He and his wife are expecting their first baby at the end of August.

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