Pediatricians are so much more than a just your baby’s doctor, they become confidants, guides, encouragers, honest opinions and friendly faces. Trying to find the right pediatrician can be a dance; you need to dodge the docs that don’t jive with your parenting philosophy while holding on to the doctor that makes you feel cared for and listened to. During those crazy first months with a newborn, you’ll visit the pediatrician often. And after that, you’ll be there for annual well visits and for any health issues that come up throughout the year. You need someone you trust and someone who trusts your maternal instincts. So, what should you look for when searching for the perfect pediatrician? Here are a few of our tips for narrowing down the field.

baby-pediatrician

photo: Julie Seguss

1. Check your network.
It sounds easy enough, but don’t forget to be sure that your pediatrician of choice is in your health insurance network. Even better, be sure that your pediatrician of choice has access and rights at your preferred hospital. If you live in a large city or suburb, the hospital closest to you may not be one that your pediatrician is affiliated with; while it may not be a big deal if you have a healthy child, it can cause problems if you need your pediatrician to follow your child in the hospital.

2. Choose whether you want to see aractice or an individual.
Decide if you prefer a practice, meaning a group of pediatricians, or an individual doctor. There are certainly benefits to both, but with a practice you are increasing your chances of getting an appointment quickly when needed, at hours that fit your busy schedule.

3. Convenience is key.
During the first year of your child’s life, you are at the doctor’s office a lot. A lot. Between immunizations and well baby checks, you are going to become besties with your pediatrician’s receptionist. Add in a few sick visits, and you will have more appointments with the pediatrician than you have date nights with your hubs. Since you will be spending a lot of time there, pick an office that is relatively close and accessible to you. Trust us, you’ll appreciate not having to drive across town and park two blocks away in the middle of winter when your child has a fever.

4. Ask for recommendations.
Rally your mom friends to ask for pediatrician recommendations. Sure, you’ll hear good things and bad things about nearly every practice you’re considering, but getting the experiences of your pals will help you make a more solid decision.

via Cheryl on Flickr creative commons

photo via Cheryl on Flickr

5. Take a test drive.
Many times, pediatricians will have open-house events for expecting parents. Use this time to meet the doctors, find out their policies and see if they appear to be a match for your parenting style and preferences. You’ll learn what makes the office standout too: Do they have separate entrances for sick and well patients, what do the exam rooms look like, and can they do the latest tests right in the office?

6. Look at special services.
Some pediatrician offices have specialists on staff that may come in handy during your child’s early years. Look for offices that have a lactation consultant on staff, or practices that have allergy specialists. Nursing or not, allergies or not, these staff members can be invaluable assets when you do need them.

7. Dial in.
Ask about the office’s phone call policy. Some practices are strict about not walking through issues on the phone, but prefer parents to bring the child into the office. However, sometimes you may just need a few questions answered via phone instead of schlepping your infant carrier into the office. Ask if there are nurses available to answer reasonable questions via phone.

8. Check the clock.
Take a look at the hours of the offices you are investigating, and make sure those match with your schedule. Practices often have the luxury of having more evening and weekend hours, but be sure that your office has hours that you can actually swing with work and other obligations.

9. Emergency, emergency.
Emergencies are going to happen, and you are going to have questions in the middle of the night. We may know of a certain story of a two-year-old swallowing a rock while giving it a bath in the tub and a certain daddy freaking out about it and paging the pediatrician after hours to determine if said rock would pass on its own. Weird things are going to happen, and scary things (like your first real fever) are going to happen; you are going to need after-hours support. Ask about your office’s pager policy and any restrictions that may make you feel uncomfortable.

photo: iStock

10. Feel the vibe.
Sometimes, when it comes down to it, your intuition will guide you to the office that feels like home. Sure, you want a well-respected and experienced doctor, but you also want someone who can offer a deep breath when you are freaking out and a high-five when you need one.

Take the time to find the right pediatrician for your family. You will be glad that you did, especially when your toddler swallows a rock in the bathtub.

Haley Burress

You’ve probably heard a lot of different things from everyone you know on the internet or in real life about what to do in order to prep for baby. But their birth journey isn’t yours, and their advice might not work for you! Maybe you’re expecting your second or fifth little one so you think you’ve got this covered. But whether you’re a first-time mom or fifth, there are still classes you need to take before giving birth. Here are my top 5 classes you should consider taking before your little one arrives.

1. Postpartum Prep. I’m including this one first because it’s the last class you’d think about taking. This is not Newborn Care or Baby Basics 101. This is not a birthing techniques class. Postpartum prep is a class dedicated to preparing new and new-again parents for what they will face in postpartum and what they need to do while expecting to have plans, meals, care kits, and support in place. Taking a postpartum prep class means there are fewer surprises when it comes to your relationships, your body, and your mental health. It’s essential and goes hand-in-hand with a Postpartum Healing course that is dedicated to nurturing the whole family as they bond with baby.

2. Labor & Birthing Techniques Class. This may have been the one class you expected to see on this list, but sadly many first-time parents miss this class before birth. Attending a birthing technique class significantly reduces possible feelings of regret or trauma from birth. Having a birth doula? Even more. I’m a huge fan of the Hypnobabies Home Study Course—it’s how I was able to achieve my super fast natural birth with my second kiddo after getting the full induction package complete with a catheter at my first birth 6 years earlier. But there are a lot of amazing classes out there (Discover Birth Education Course is another favorite) for you to choose from and you may even want to take a few! One class might focus on comfort measure techniques, while the other focuses solely on your mindset. Find the right balance for your desired experience.

3. Prenatal Exercise. A birthing techniques class can help you to emotionally and mentally prepare for labor and learn great labor positions, but a good prenatal exercise class prepares your body for the birth of your little. Targeted exercises designed with the expecting mother in mind can release tension, open the pelvis, increase blood flow, and strengthen the body for the tough job of labor. Expecting and Empowered is a great prenatal workout program designed by a chiropractor and nurse with the whole body in mind (since it all works together).

4. Lactation Education. I’ve met expecting parents who were adamant about not breastfeeding once the baby arrived, not because of trauma but because they didn’t want to lose that part of their sexuality. But once the baby arrived, they breastfed! Whether you aren’t sure if you want to breastfeed, are afraid you can’t, or are determined that it’s something you’ll do once baby arrives, it’s important to take a class to know what to expect. Your body will produce milk whether you breastfeed or not and you will want to know what your body is going through, why, and how the hormones related to all of this are affecting your whole self.

Most hospitals offer a sort of Breastfeeding 101 class and some birth doulas include this in their client education, but I recommend taking another class by a stand-alone professional who is not affiliated with a specific hospital because they can get into more detail about things and tend to have more up-to-date info that the Lactation Consultants at a hospital might not be able to teach due to policies. I’ve been to several hospital-led classes but learned so much more after becoming a Lactation Educator.

5. Baby Care. Basic baby care classes can be extremely helpful for first-time parents. In this class, you learn how to swaddle, communicate with your baby, general feeding information, and more. Doulas typically cover some of this with you after birth, too.

This post originally appeared on Navigating Parenthood.

Shari Stamps is the founder of NavigatingParenthood where she shares stories, info, services, and programs for expecting, new and veteran parents. As a mom of three, a freelance writer, postpartum doula, infant massage instructor, and lactation educator she's always learning something new. Join the journey via social at @NavigatingParenthood and @NavigatingPostpartum.

No matter your experience, we all get by in this parenting game with a little help from our friends. And thanks to Facebook, your tribe is at your fingertips, literally. After sorting through page after page of parenting groups, we’ve narrowed down a list of groups that are perfect for you—regardless of whether you’re a first timer or not. Keep reading to find your newest parenting “friends,” below.

photo: iStock

Georgia Moms for Better Birth, 2.4K members
Georgia Moms for Better Birth is a community of women supporting women, focused on creating better births through encouragement and education. Their goal is for all mothers to feel empowered through a safe and satisfying birth.

Atlanta Online Breastfeeding Support Group, 553 members
A place to post helpful information for expectant and breastfeeding mothers to support them in their choice.

My Atlanta Moms Club (MAMC), 12.3K members
This private page (permission requests accepted) is a mother-to-mother support group of moms from every walk of life. It is created to be an atmosphere where women can ask questions and seek advice about all things mom.

Moms on Call Parenting, 30K followers
Known as the “baby whisperers” around town, these moms offer up advice, tips, and anecdotes about parenting straight from the vault of motherhood.

Atlanta’s Frugal Mom, 7.5K followers
Find local events around the Atlanta area, frugal living and frugal parenting tips, as well as all things mom—all with a touch of southern charm.

Twinmommy101, 4.4K followers
TwinMommy101 is a spot where you can follow one mom’s experience with raising twins through gentle parenting, a love for babywearing, healthy living, and more. It’s also a supportive community for all parents and caregivers to connect.

Atlanta Mom Collective: The Village, 3K members
As the name suggests, encouragement and support for moms who want a safe place to share the ups, downs, and sometimes sideways side of parenting.

Atlanta Crunchy Moms (and Moms-to-Be!), 342 members
ACM is open to current parents, expecting parents, and those individuals who are not yet expecting, but want to learn more about natural and healthy parenting lifestyles prior to having children.

NEW Single Mom Alliance Group, 7.7K members
Offering advice, support, & resources for single moms, this group welcomes women that are, have been, or may be becoming single mothers.

Atlanta Moms Group, 12.4K members
Atlanta Moms Group is a place to ask questions, seek advice, share experiences and join a vibrant and supportive community.
This group is for women only.

Distance Learning 4Working Parents- Atlanta Area, 2.2K members
This group is for Atlanta and surrounding counties parents who are doing distance learning while working. This is not group for homeschooling.

ajr_images via iStock

Black Moms Connection: Atlanta, 1.4K members
This groups serves up a positive environment for Black mothers to share ideas, encourage each other and connect. The group is solely for Black women who are (or are soon to be) mothers.

Jewish Women of Atlanta, 1.9K members
Jewish Women of Atlanta was created to include all women in and around Georgia. You don’t have to be married or a mom, and you can identify any way you wish. All they ask is that you be kind and inclusive to everyone (and p.s.—you’ll find great mom tips here, too!).

Two Mommies Atlanta, 734 members
This is an Atlanta (and surrounding areas) group for Lesbian Mothers – both single and coupled – to encourage friendships, meetups, and sharing of whatever is on your mind!

Black & Brown Parents of Cobb County & N. Fulton, 1.8K members
A safe space for parents raising black & brown children in Cobb County, East Cobb, West Cobb, Roswell, Marietta, North Fulton etc. They exchange local resources, give advice, support one another and connect their kiddos for long-lasting relationships through culture—with other parents of color in the neighborhood.

iStock

Dunwoody Moms Group, 1.1K members
This page is for parents in Dunwoody to post play dates, mom’s nights and get advice about family activities.

Roswell Moms Network, 3.4K members
Head to the RMN for discussions, play dates, recommendations, and fun activities in the area, just for parents living in the Roswell area. They encourage a supportive membership with no negativity.

Cobb Moms Helping Cobb, 3.3K members
Cobb Moms Helping Cobb is a network of women in Cobb County who assist non-profit agencies better serve those in need.

MOD- Moms of Decatur, GA, 1.4K members
Head to this site for a respectul swap of ideas and collective parenting advice, without drama.

Alpharetta, Milton, & Cumming Moms, 2.6K members
This group is for moms in the North GA and surrounding areas (Alpharetta, Milton, Cumming, John’s Creek, Canton, Sewanee, Roswell, and other towns) to come together, be adventurous, have fun and experience life together.

East Cobb Moms, 1K members
All the ladies in East Cobb unite and swap parenting tales in this ever-evolving Facebook group.

Clayton County Moms & Dads, 1.3K members
This group connects parents throughout Clayton County and surrounding areas. Find playgroups and things to do with your kids. If you’ve got kids, whether you’re single, married, mom, or dad, you’re welcome.

Mother Tuckers (Moms of Tucker), 1.3K members
Moms of Tucker is an active group that gets together on a weekly basis for play dates, lunch or breakfast, planned events, field trips and much more. Check out their Facebook page to get advice, make plans, and join the dialogue.

Moms of Woodstock, 3.5K members
As the name suggests, this is an active group for moms in the Woodstock area of north Georgia.

East Atlanta Parents Network, 2.1 members
Find out what’s going on for families in and around East Atlanta.

—Shelley Massey

Feature photo: ajr_images via iStock

 

Want us to add your group? Email us at editor at redtri dot com.

 

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With COVID-19 keeping everyone indoors, expecting parents may find themselves at a loss for childbirth classes. In response to the challenge, Pampers has launched no-cost access to virtual Childbirth Education––and it’s available now!

The new series consists of nine classes led by two clinical childbirth experts. Each part features real-life expecting parents and covers in-depth info on the various stages of parenting.

photo: Courtesy of Pampers

Pampers Childbirth Education will consist of the following topics: Body Changes & Discomforts, Prenatal Health & Nutrition, Preparing for Labor & Birth, Labor & Birth Part One, Labor & Birth Part Two, Immediately After Birth, Feeding Your Baby, Bringing Baby Home and Postpartum Care.

With a goal of “caring for the healthy development of babies through their journey fro womb to world,” Pampers has developed its Childbirth Education series with accredited sources and will contain the most accurate and up to date information on childbirth.

The new program is available for registration beginning Mon., Apr. 13 at 1 p.m. ET at Pampers.com.

––Karly Wood

 

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One year ago, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard welcomed their baby brand, Hello Bello. The couple co-founded the company to eliminate the choice many parents have to make between deciding what’s best for their kids and their budget. Now, that Hello Bello is turning one, new and expecting parents in the US and Canada can get a free pack of diapers!

Hello Bello 1st Birthday

 

Starting February 21 at 9am EST, fans can visit Hello Bello, enter the required info and just pay $1 for shipping (including Alaska + Hawaii) and they will send you a full pack (35 qty.) of diapers, while supplies last. 

Hello Bello 1st Birthday

In celebration of their birthday, Hello Bello is releasing a new birthday cake scent line (Shampoo, Conditioner and Bubble Bath), available this March. Made with a new botanical blend of organic aloe, marshmallow root and coconut extracts, these new premium, plant-based formulas will make bath time a piece of cake.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

All photos courtesy of Hello Bello

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Whether you take your coffee black or pumpkin spiced, we can all agree that fueling up at a spot that welcomes kids puts the pep in our step as parents. We’ve got a list of San Diego’s best coffee shops for families that have turned brewing your perfect cup of joe into an art form. One shop on our list even offers a music, story and snack time for kids so you can get your fix while the littles have fun. Read on for where to order up your new favorite cup of joe.

Parakeet Cafe

Michael B. via Yelp

A little birdie told us to fly straight to Parakeet Cafe for delicious coffee and delectable eats, and we're so glad we did! The cheery space features vibrant, neon and hand-painted parakeet print wallpaper that will instantly bring a smile to your face. But that's just the beginning of all there is to chirp about. Parakeet Cafe's coffee drinks, comprised of ethically sourced beans, house-made syrups and alternative milks, pair beautifully with their healthy, creative menu. They believe "indulging in your health should be just that: indulgent. Every item on the menu is full of lush, organic ingredients, bright flavor, interesting textures and beautiful color."

We love the turmeric latte, an enticing blend of turmeric, ginger, vanilla, cardamom, honey and almond milk, paired with their cacao waffle served with coconut yogurt, organic fresh berries, banana, chia, cinnamon and coconut sugar. Additionally, you'll find something for everyone's taste from their extensive menu of savory and sweet breakfast and lunch items ranging from decadently topped toasts and robust salads to comforting soups and hearty breakfast entrees served all day. Their pastry case is straight out of heaven, with plenty of vegan and gluten free options to choose from.

Four locations:

3745 Paseo Pl. Suite 820
San Diego, CA 92130
858-345-1688

927 Silverado St.
La Jolla, CA 92037
858-412-5627

1680 India St.,
San Diego, CA 92101
619-255-1442

1134 Orange Ave.,
Coronado, CA 92118
619-675-0104
Online: parakeetcafe.com

Communal Coffee

Communal Coffee

Located in hip and trendy North Park, Communal Coffee offers coffee, flowers, gifts and a community-minded, inclusive atmosphere. A true coffee-junkie’s haven, this unique bean house proudly serves up San Francisco’s acclaimed Sight Glass Coffee as well as breakfast and lunch favorites. The onsite flower shop by Wyld Blooms will bring a little sunshine to your day. Snag a bouquet of wild blooms for home or snap a few photos for your Instagram feed. Because let’s face it: Coffee + Flowers = Instagram love. Check out Communal Kids by Seed & Song offering music, dance, stories, snacks and drinks for wee ones. Click here for info on Communal Kids events. Communal Coffee also has an outdoor location in South Park.

Insider’s Tip: We recommend the Lavender Honey Latte. For the littles, try the Iced Creamsicle drink.

2335 University Ave.
San Diego, CA 92104
619-363-7737

South Park:
2221 Fern St.
San Diego, CA 92104

Online: communalcoffee.com

Mostra Coffee

Andy B. via Yelp

The aptly named Mostra Coffee ('mostra' is Italian for show, exhibition, or performance) lives up to its name by offering innovative brewing experiences and flavors that elevate grabbing a cup of joe to an art form. Additionally, Mostra was just named 2020 Roaster of the Year by Roast Magazine. 

This elegant yet cozy neighborhood coffee shop features 'English Industiral' inspired design and has the first three-head, Mavam espresso machine in San Diego. The machine was built into a low bar-top so customers can witness the brewing process themselves. Mostra invites the community to warm up in their friendly, relaxing environment to make connections and enjoy great coffee. We love their impressive list of signature drinks including the Campfire Latte: oozing with flavors of mocha, graham cracker crumble and honey and the Bibingka Crème Brûlée Latte: inspired by a Filipino dessert, a Crème Brûlée Latte made with
coconut-infused whole milk, topped with coconut powder as well as their Choconana: house-made banana milk mixed with Brazil Cold Brew.

12045 Carmel Mountain Rd.
San Diego, CA 92128
858-304-0061
Online: mostracoffee.com

Cat & Craft Cafe

Jessica Z. via Yelp

For a truly unique coffee-going experience, add canoodling with cats to the mix! Cat & Craft is North County's first cat café, and it boasts “Purr-over” coffees from Manzanita Roasting Company alongside “Catprese” toast and Hazel & Jade pastries. You'll get to cuddle adoptable kitties from rescue organization Love Your Feral Felines during your visit. (Married owners Andrew and Caroline Vaught hope to rehome 500 cats in the café’s first year.) If you'd rather admire the kitties from a sneeze-free zone, a glass viewing wall separates the café and the cage-free cat lounge. Visit during Kiddie Cat Hour, where you can reserve a one-hour session to pet and play with the kitties.

3211 Business Park Dr.
Vista, CA  92081
760-295-1181
Online: catandcraftcafe.com

Caffe' Calabria

Michael B. via Yelp

That's amore! Italy meets San Diego at this charming coffee caffe' that serves up award-winning espresso, tea and Italian sodas. You can also come in at lunchtime to enjoy a panini or Neapolitan pizza (served Weds.-Sun. from 11 a.m.-10 p.m.) with your fave coffee drink. Additionally, Bread and Cie delivers fresh pastries daily as an added sweet touch to your fuel-up! An enticing ambiance and the aromas of coffee brewing and pizza baking? Sounds like heaven!

3933 30th St.
San Diego, CA 92104
619-683-7787
Online: caffecalabria.com

Hawthorn Coffee

Hawthorn Coffee

Hawthorn Coffee is as family-minded as a coffee house can get. Owned by a father/son duo, Kevin and Dylan, Dylan's young sons often frequent the shop. The clientele consists of many parents with kids as well as expecting parents. Kevin says, "Part of the reason why is that we believe in welcoming everyone, and that means everyone. Our philosophy is that kids can do no wrong, so we let them have the run of the shop. And since kids generally make noise, we let them do that, too. And that, in turn, makes parents very relaxed." In addition to this fantastic, inclusive atmosphere, Hawthorn Coffee means business when it comes to the perfect cup of joe. They serve Cat & Cloud of Santa Cruz, CA, Dapper&Wise Coffee Roasters of Beaverton, WA and Arcade Coffee Roasters of Riverside, CA, in their shop because of their "commitment to that sweet balance, blend, and consistency of deliciousness." Save us a seat!

3019 Adams Ave.
San Diego, CA
619-501-4882
Online: hawthorncoffee.com

Old California Coffee House & Eatery

Patrick D. via Yelp

Officially named the oldest coffee shop in San Marcos, Old California Coffee House & Eatery is a local favorite. This charming coffee shop features lots of well-loved sofas and chairs, an eclectic collection of instruments, funky décor and free WiFi. The fire pits on the patio are lit nightly to make for a cozy place to gather. Play games with the fam, listen to music, or simply chill. The coffee and food menu are expansive and reasonably priced. We recommend the Snickerdoodle specialty drink for the munchkins or the kid-at-heart. Don’t forget your four-legged furry friends. They are welcome on the patio!

1080 W. San Marcos Blvd. #176
San Marcos, CA 92078
760-744-2112
Online: oldcalcoffee.com

The King’s Craft Coffee Co.

Elizabeth Silva

Tucked away in east Poway, The King’s Craft Coffee (TKC), was founded by local dad and former defensive lineman for the San Diego Chargers, Cory Withrow. Poway’s first specialty coffee shop, these guys serve up single origin brews sourced from small holder organic farms. TKC features an outdoor seating area for kiddos to burn off some energy and plenty of seating for tired parents. In true Poway fashion, this coffee shop has a small town vibe that your whole “brewed” can get hip to. A portion of TKC’s sales are donated to non-profits and they've partnered with regional organizations like Rady’s Children’s Hospital and Poway Pop Warner. Grab your cup of java then head over to North County Soccer Park, where the pee wee league plays (ages 4-11) or spend the afternoon a short distance away at the scenic Old Poway Park.

14530 Espola Rd.
Poway, CA 92065
858-842-3717
Online: thekingscraft.com

Brew Coffee Spot

Janie H. via Yelp

In the heart of La Mesa, the family-owned Brew Coffee Spot has gained the attention of local families. This coffee house uses award-winning coffee beans that are 100% certified organic and responsibly sourced. And Brew Coffee Spot sees roasting beans as a science. Since coffee and tea are 98% water, they take their water purity very seriously. To ensure great tasting drinks, they use a configurable water system that delivers reverse osmosis and blended filtered water. Brew Coffee Spot offers a wide variety of food—including vegetarian and vegan options—a pretty extensive coffee and tea selection, and hello, free WiFi! Need we say more? Join in on the fun with family game night, a painting workshop, live music, or a fair trade jewelry show. We promise, Brew Coffee Spot will be your new fave.

6101 Lake Murray Blvd.
La Mesa, CA 91942
619-713-6698
Online: brewcoffeespot.com

Copa Vida

Vivian H. via Yelp

City dwellers take heart! Copa Vida, nestled in East Village, has it all: location, chill vibes, great coffee and tea and food. Whether you’re new to the coffee life or a caffeine connoisseur, Copa Vida’s take on coffee and tea is approachable and welcoming to all. Copa Vida offers hot and cold espresso pressure drinks—including single origin brews—an extensive tea list and breakfast, brunch and lunch. Copa Vida has an open concept with giant windows that open to the street. Perfect for people watching! And add to all that, Copa Vida is walking distance to Petco Park at the Park which offers a kid’s play area, little league field, picnic area and more. If the littles are up for it, end your day at the nearby San Diego Central Library, where you can join a guided tour.

Insider’s Tip: For parents on the go who can’t spare a moment waiting in line, Copa Vida offers a self-service honor bar until 10 a.m. on weekdays. Simply help yourself to a cup of java, leave some cash, and off you go!

905 J. St.
San Diego, CA 92101
619-501-7529
Online copa-vida.com

Nutmeg Bakery & Cafe

Nutmeg Bakery and Cafe

Two words: pastry case. But Nutmeg Bakery and Cafe also offers so much more. This artisan bakery serves up delicious coffee drinks and a mouthwatering breakfast, brunch and lunch made using sustainable, organic, local ingredients. Nutmeg is also a dream come true for those on alternative diets, as you'll find vegan, gluten-free, vegetarian and dairy-free menu items to enjoy––even from the pastry case. High chairs, a laid-back ambiance and an open floor plan make it easy to bring the kids along for your fix.

Nutmeg just opened a second location in Scripps Ranch as well!

12640 Sabre Springs Pkwy.
Ste. 107
San Diego, CA
858-486-8863

New Scripps Ranch location:
10755 Scripps Poway Pkwy.
Ste 107
San Diego, CA 92131

Online: nutmegsd.com

––Elizabeth Silva & Beth Shea

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There wasn’t anything that prepared me for the birth of my son Evan 10 weeks early. At that time, my husband had just received a job offer, requiring us to relocate almost 500 miles away. We quickly packed up all of our belongings and made the move to San Diego. Four days later, living in a hotel and just a few weeks before Christmas, I suddenly went into preterm labor and delivered Evan three hours later, weighing just 3.3lbs.

Shocked and unprepared, my husband and I soldiered on with multiple trips to and from the neonatal intensive care unit where Evan was being monitored and tube-fed for eight weeks because he had issues swallowing. According to our medical team, the NICU was a necessary measure as preterm babies are at greater risk for breathing problems, feeding difficulties and sudden death syndrome–among others.

Dealing with this—coupled with raising a toddler and my husband acclimating to his brand-new job—created an emotional toll on my entire family. Luckily, everything worked out for us and Evan is now 18 months old, nearly the same size and weight as if he was born at-term. Going through the experience of a preterm birth was not an easy one, but we are thankful that our story ended on a happy note.

Through my experience, I was able to learn the following about preterm birth, which I think is important for all expectant parents to take into consideration during their journey to parenthood. Miracle Babies and Sera Prognostics recently conducted a survey, and the findings reinforced many of the life lessons that I learned from giving birth to a preterm baby. I would like to take this opportunity to share some of my personal takeaways in an effort to help and prepare other expectant parents:

Empower Yourself With as Much Knowledge as You can

During my first pregnancy, I delivered 10 days late. I had a second pregnancy but it did not last long, and I miscarried at eight weeks, six months before I found out I was pregnant with Evan. With my third pregnancy, I had no morning sickness, and for the most part, it was an enjoyable experience…until it wasn’t.

When Evan was born preterm, it came as a complete shock to me. Was there more that I could or should have done? Were there any interventions I could have researched to prolong my pregnancy? Was I eating right and exercising enough? Maybe I shouldn’t have lifted heavy boxes during our move…Should I have been monitored more frequently because of my previous miscarriage? Would it have made a difference?

The survey findings show that 95 percent of expecting parents would have liked to know that their baby was at an increased risk for premature birth. Other findings further showed that of the 95 percent who answered yes, 97 percent of them still would have liked to known, even if there was nothing that could have been done to prevent it.

My doctor never spoke to me about premature birth prevalence, risk factors or signs and symptoms that may be associated with delivering prematurely, so I thought my pregnancy was going just fine. I do, however, wish I had known more to better prepare myself, friends and family and plan for my baby being born so early: I am one of the 97 percent.

Don’t Be Afraid to Speak to Your Doctor Openly

An interesting finding in the survey is that more than half of respondents said that they did not discuss preterm birth with their healthcare provider. How is this even possible? Being that 1 in 10 babies in the United States is born prematurely, there seems to be a communication barrier among parents and healthcare providers in discussing preterm birth.

With that being said, I can’t stress enough the importance of being proactive during routine exams. Doctors may not touch upon the discussion of preterm birth during office visits. Identifying a woman at risk for preterm birth earlier allows for proactive administration of interventions and development of a pregnancy care plan, so it’s essential to over communicate with your healthcare provider.

There is even a blood test that can help determine an asymptomatic woman’s individual risk for preterm birth: the PreTRM® test is the first of its kind and is a clinically-validated blood test to accurately predict early in pregnancy the risk of premature birth. Early prediction may allow parents and healthcare providers to better plan individualized treatment and care for preterm babies.

Be Your Own Health Advocate

If there’s one thing that I learned from my experience, it’s that you are the most important member of your medical team. After speaking with your doctor, why not arm yourself with more information to bring up at your next appointment? Interventions may be applied for women who have been identified at increased risk; research this online and bring it up in conversation with your doctor.

There are also some known factors that have been associated with premature birth including: prior miscarriage, IVF, family history and health/lifest‌yle factors. Familiarize yourself with as much information as possible to help determine the risks of preterm birth; Miracle Babies, a non-profit founded to support NICU babies, provided me with an abundance of resources and information. Knowledge is power, so be sure to do your homework.

No One Is to Blame

For much of the time my son was in the NICU, I felt extremely guilty. Prior to his birth and during the move to San Diego, I was actively getting organized, packing, helping move around furniture and whatever else was needed for our new home. I had convinced myself that because of this, Evan was born early. I realized that this was not true at all. You cannot blame yourself, or anyone, in this instance. The most important thing to do is take all that blame and guilt and throw it away so you can focus on the health of your baby and yourself.

Don’t Be Afraid to Reply on Your Family for Help

Between my husband’s new job and having a toddler at home, it was difficult for me to get to the NICU to visit my newborn son. It was flu season so anyone under the age of 18 was not allowed in the NICU.  I could visit Evan for an hour while my other son Andrew was in preschool before I needed to turn around and pick him up again.  At night, I would have to wait for my husband to get home from work to visit Evan.

If we didn’t have a family member to help stay home with Andrew, only one of us could go to the NICU.  There were several days we couldn’t get to the hospital at all, which made me feel very guilty.  It became increasingly difficult to spend time with my family. However, during this whole process I realized how much support family can provide.

Whenever I would start to feel disheartened, I would turn to my husband, friends and family for extra support. Having people to speak to and rely on is an important part to make it through your preterm birth. I had an amazing support system and made a decision to accept help early on–and in doing that, I was less stressed and able to focus on more important things.

Every day can be a challenge, so it is necessary to have a “clear head” throughout the process.

I'm a wife and mother of two sweet boys. I love all things related to health, wellness and photography. I enjoy spending as much time with my family as possible. I am here to share my pregnancy journey and empower mothers everywhere to speak to their doctors about the risks of pre-term birth.

While the greatest gift you could give new parents would be a 25-hour day including a full night’s rest, we’ve compiled a list of baby shower splurges that are a pretty close second. From the coziest crib sheets to high-tech bassinets, read on to discover something to W-O-W every expecting parent. Dare to dream…or hope guests will go in on big-ticket items!

Finn & Emma Rattle Buddy

This precious hand-knit rattle is made in Peru with organic cotton yarn and eco-friendly inks and dyes and is stuffed with sheep’s wool. It makes for cozy snuggling and stimulates the senses with a shake or two. Choose from Daisy the Zebra, Ramsay the Raccoon, Kellan the Elephant, Finley the Fox, Belle the Bunny, and many more.

Available at finnandemma.com, $28.

Which item is your favorite splurge? Let us know in the comments!

— Katie Brown

In a recent Google Trends report, the search for “Simone baby name” spiked 230 percent in August. That’s right. Expecting parents are grabbing inspiration from the two Simones in the Rio games – which really, can you blame them? Both Simone Biles and Simone Manuel clenched gold medals in the Olympics; Biles for Gymnastics and Manuel for Swim. Google reports that this is the first time since 2010 there has been this much interest in the name Simone.

Are you inspired by the two Simones? Tell us in the comments below!

Featured Photo: Pixabay