ML Interest Tag: feel-bad

10 Tips for Moms (Yes Moms!) Going Back to School

By Sarah Daren

Photo: Clay Banks via Unsplash

Every fall the kids go back to school but what about when it’s Mom’s turn to go back to school? Going back to school after you’ve been doing the important work of being a mom can be intimidating. You might feel like you’re totally out of the loop or that you’ll struggle to fit in.

The good news is that going back to school, while scary, can be very rewarding and valuable. A lot of the process will involve figuring things out as you go, but there are a few tips that can help you prepare for success. Keep these 10 things in mind as you get ready for your first day back in the classroom.

1. Use the University’s Resources for Mothers as Much as Possible

Universities understand that moms going back to school have unique challenges. Many schools have resources and groups to help mothers succeed and manage their coursework. In most cases, you’ll have to seek out information especially for mothers. The best way to find out what resources are available at your university is to ask! Your advisor can help you find the help you need to feel supported.

2. Be Patient With Yourself—You Don’t Need a Full Schedule Right Away

It can be very tempting to just get through your program as quickly as possible so you can get back into the workforce. However, it can be a mistake to take on a full course load right away.

Try easing into it. Start with one or two courses and work your way up if you find that you’re managing things with ease. You can even choose an online program if that’s more manageable for your schedule.

Be realistic and don’t feel bad if you can’t take a full load of classes. It’s better to do well in a few classes than to barely pass a lot at once. Be patient with yourself.

3. Ensure Your Kids Understand the Life Change You’re Making

Your kids, especially if they are younger, may have difficulty understanding the changes in their lives that your going back to school will bring. That’s why it’s important to be open with them, to reassure them, and to explain exactly why you’re taking this step. Getting them on board and helping them to understand why it’s important for you to go back to school will make the transition easier.

4. Identify Why You’re Going Back

There are going to be some moments during your educational journey when you feel like giving up. That’s normal!

To help prepare for these inevitable speed bumps, you should identify exactly why going back to school is important to you. For many women, it’s the ability to provide for their families. Just 14% of workers in the U.S receive family leave benefits, and many women have to go back to work almost immediately after giving birth. If you want a better future for your family, use that as your motivation during the hard times.

5. See If You Have Any Available Credits to Transfer Over

If you attended college in the past, you may not have even considered that your credits could transfer over. While each school has different requirements, it’s always worth checking to see if some of the work you’ve done in the past could give you a leg up and help you as you head back to school. You’ll save money, time, and you won’t have to re-learn information you already know.

6. Consider Scholarships Exclusive for Moms

Did you know there are grants and scholarships out there just for moms going back to school? If you need financial help to go back to school, it’s definitely worth spending some time applying for scholarships designed for returning students with kids.

7. Establish a Schedule…and Stick to It

Juggling childcare, school, and for some moms, work, can be difficult. The best way to manage your time is to establish a schedule from the very beginning and stick to it. Getting behind can make you feel overwhelmed, so it’s important to be realistic about how long everything will take.

8. Don’t Forget to Budget

Going back to school is expensive—and so is caring for children. As a mom returning to school, you’ll need to budget and plan for expenses that may come up during your program. Books, fees, and other expenses can really add up, so make sure you add them to your budget. By making a budget, you can minimize your debt load and make your life easier when you graduate.

9. Connect with Your Advisor

It’s important to ask for help when you need it, so start building those crucial support relationships as soon as you head back to campus. Connect with your advisor right away. You’ll get access to school resources and start building trust that could help you later on.

10. Don’t Forget to Enjoy the Experience

While it’s easy to remember all the challenges you’ll face when you go back to school, it can be harder to focus on the positives. Try to enjoy the experience. Make new friends, get into what you’re learning, and remember that this will all be worth it in the end.

Sarah Daren has been a consultant for startups in industries including health and wellness, wearable technology, and education. She implements her health knowledge into every aspect of her life, including her position as a yoga instructor and raising her children. Sarah enjoys watching baseball and reading on the beach. 

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This Mom Celebrated the First Day of School By Going to Disney World… Alone

by Shahrzad Warkentin

After a long summer of fun, it’s time for the kids to head back to school, which means it’s time for moms to… play? One mom decided that the first day of school was the perfect time for a solo trip to Disney World.

Mom and Disney Blogger, Lisa DiNoto of The Castle Run took to Instagram to share her first day of school “mom field trip.” “This, my friends. This is what you do after you drop your kids off on the first day of school.⁣⁣ You get yourself a pin and you walk it around Magic Kingdom like some garden gnome on a world adventure,” she wrote in the post which features several pics of Lisa and Disney employees holding up her Disney pin, which reads, “I’m celebrating the 1st Day of School.”

Before you feel bad for DiNoto’s kids, she explains in her blog post that the family lives just ten minutes from Walt Disney World so the kids have visited the park many, many times. As her kids head off for another year of learning, it’s only fitting that the mom of two gets a well-deserved day of fun after momming all summer.

“They were excited for their first day at school and I was excited for some time alone. Pickup time came soon enough and all of us had lots of fun sharing the details of our day,” DiNoto told Good Morning America.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: The Castle Runner via Instagram 

 

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How to Win the Battle against Picky Eaters

By Cliff Lyles

It’s not uncommon for parents to worry when their child begins showing signs of picky eating. As the Executive Chef at Revolution Foods, the nation’s leading school meal provider, I experience picky eating all the time. That said, I wanted to share my go-to methods when in combat.

Let’s start with what creates a picky eater. For some kids it’s texture, for others it’s their sensitive palate, but generally, it’s that their parents are picky eaters themselves. When parents are set in their ways about anything, it encourages their children to do the same. If this is the case, you may be unaware that your child is experiencing picky eating. Some typical picky eating behaviors that you may have noticed in your child include:

  • Refusing food because of its color or texture
  • Choosing a couple foods he or she likes and refusing to eat anything else
  • Spending time at the table doing anything but eating

The good news? These behaviors are all very normal and will fade with growth. In the meantime, try the below tricks to help keep your child’s pallet and nutrition on track for a happy, healthy future.

1. Use their habitual nature to your advantage.

Kids and adults are similar in the sense that they can be habitual and trusting of restaurants that they already know they’re going to like. You can use this tendency of theirs to your advantage when getting them to try new things. If your child is already comfortable with the chicken tenders and the mac n cheese from a restaurant, they’ll be more easily convinced that the grilled chicken salad might be trustworthy, too.

This restaurant tactic can also be utilized if you’re facing the issue of your child resenting you when it comes to trying new foods. When you make healthy eating a chore by insisting kids remain at the table until their peas are gone, it’s in their nature to rebel and put up barriers. When a fancy new meal is being delivered by a chef, however, they’ll be much more inclined to give it a go.

2. Let them play.

Use their playful imagination and create edible artwork to combat their pickiness. Animal-shaped foods and pops of color are going to motivate kids to try anything and everything you put in front of them. Adding a rainbow of veggies to your child’s plate might make them more excited to dig in and less inclined to hide them in their napkins, and as a result, you’ll also be filling them with vitamins and minerals that they may have been previously lacking.

3. Don’t feel bad about getting sneaky.

Creating dishes that contain hidden healthy ingredients inside is another great trick to get kids to try new foods. If you know they like fruit, whip up a smoothie with added veggies and protein. This is a great way to ensure kids are getting the nutrients they need, but since we’re talking about picky eaters, a best practice is to ensure they’re watching you put the “good” ingredients in. Their ears will perk up when they see you add in all of their favorite fruits and yogurt, and your days of persuading will be behind you.

4. And lastly, be patient.

Let’s refer back to my first point here: don’t worry! Just because your child starts off as a picky eater, doesn’t mean they’re going to stay that way. Kids tastes evolve as they grow. As a chef, the goal for me is to allow a picky eater to be relatively picky as long as I can see that they’re slowly expanding their horizons. Their friends come in handy this way; the different foods kids see their friends eating and enjoying will help them grow their pallet naturally.

Companies like Revolution Foods also comes in handy when it comes to giving kids that gentle push to expand their horizons. They intentionally craft culturally and regionally relevant menus to deliver great-tasting meals that broaden kids’ palates on a daily basis.

Kids have a mind of their own. Feel free to let them stick to that mindset knowing that in time, and with a few new tricks up your sleeve, they’ll get through their picky eating phase as they get through everything—with Mom & Dad’s patience and creativity of course.

I'm a chef who specializes in elevating food, from turning airplane meals into a hot commodity to making clean, gluten-free dishes delicious. I grew up knowing firsthand the impact of childhood hunger, which is why I am thrilled to be a part of Revolution Foods’ team and help fuel children’s minds and bodies.

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Worried You Drink Too Much Coffee? It Could Be a Good Thing

by Shahrzad Warkentin

If you’re on your second or even third cup of coffee for the day, don’t feel bad. New research shows those extra cups are doing more than helping you get through the day chasing a toddler. In fact, coffee could help you live longer.

Experts have long been conflicted over the health benefits (or lack thereof) of drinking coffee and while some past studies have shown links between coffee drinking and living longer, there still exists a taboo about drinking too much coffee. However, recent research shows that those extra cups are perfectly healthy. The study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that even heavy coffee drinkers lived longer than those who drank no coffee at all.

photo: Emre Gencer via Unsplash

Using data from over 500,000 people ages 38 to 73, the study concluded that drinking anywhere from one to eight cups of coffee per day was inversely associated with mortality. This was true regardless of the type of coffee, including instant and decaf. In other words, pour yourself another cup and enjoy a long life with your kids.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

 

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When Bright Children Struggle to Learn: How to Build Confidence & Joy

By Dr. Deborah Ross-Swain & Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider

Noah is a bright third-grader who has always struggled to learn. Nothing comes easy for Noah despite his Herculean efforts, outside tutoring and documented intellectual abilities. He gets in trouble in class for not being organized, daydreaming, not completing assignments and “not trying hard enough.” Noah feels defeated because even with all of the extra help he’s getting, nothing is getting easier. Reading, spelling and math are still struggles. Noah doesn’t learn like his classmates and can’t feel the success they do. He is sad, frustrated and feels “stupid.”

Noah has a learning difference—not a learning disability or disorder. Noah isn’t stupid. Actually Noah is very bright and can learn many things that his classmates themselves would find challenging.

There are many students like Noah in classrooms across America—bright, yet with learning differences, who struggle to learn core subjects like reading, spelling and math. Unfortunately, their lack of success with learning makes them feel bad about themselves and can affect their desire to learn. Without success, they are robbed of experiencing confidence and joy. When children face daily tasks or situations in which they consistently fail, they will feel defeated, frustrated, sad and anxious. Constant academic struggles and lack of success are huge robbers of confidence and joy in bright children with learning differences.

Every child needs to be supported, encouraged and recognized for his or her unique talents. When learning differences aren’t identified and investigated thoroughly, these struggling students are often misunderstood. Frequently they hear: “You need to try harder;” or “You need to listen better;” or “You have a bad attitude.” Comments like these from parents and teachers only make them feel worse. They also act as confidence and joy robbers.

All children want to be successful. But, if their brains are wired in such a way that they have difficulty focusing, listening, getting organized or focusing for extended periods of time, no consequences, threats or bribes can change the way their brains work.

Parents and professionals can help insure these bright but learning different children experience confidence and joy by using DEAR strategies:

Detect

Put on a detective’s hat and determine the child’s learning st‌yle, interests and areas of natural talent. Identify what teaching strategies allow for the child’s learning success.

Encourage

Involve them in activities, tasks and events that allow them to use their natural talents. Encourage professionals working with these children to develop teaching st‌yles that work with the child’s learning st‌yle and natural talents.

Advocate

Go to bat for your child in order for him or her to experience success, confidence and happiness. Involve professionals working with your child to go to bat as well.

Repeat

Repeat activities, strategies, skills and learning situations that work well in allowing for the child’s mastery, sense of well-being and feelings of success. Confidence and joy are natural by-products of success.

With success, confidence and joy, the bright but struggling child’s relationship with learning can change from “I’m stupid” to “I can learn,” and from “I can’t” to “I can!”

Dr. Deborah Ross-Swain & Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Dr. Deborah Ross-Swain is a licensed speech-language pathologist and CEO of the Swain Center for Listening, Communicating and Learning. Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider is CEO of TouchTime International. Drs. Swain and Schneider’s new book, Confidence & Joy, provides parents with tools to help children with learning differences realize lifelong success.

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A Letter to My Middle Child

By Melissa Heckscher

Photo: Melissa Heckscher

Dear Middle Child,

I’m sorry that your sister was crying while you were getting your award at the school assembly today. I feel bad that I had to turn my back on you so I could pick her up and tell her, “No, you cannot watch YouTube” while she whimpered, eager to get out of the quietness of the room.

I’m sorry about other things, too:

I’m sorry that your big brother seems to get all the discipline while your little sister claims the spotlight. You deserve the spotlight, too (and sometimes the discipline).

I’m sorry that it’s always noisy when you’re trying to do your homework—and that I’ve got a 20-minute time crunch to help you, after which your hard work will be interrupted by the boisterous presence of your siblings.

I’m sorry that the only “special time” we have together is when I’m driving you to and from your weekend activities. I want you to know that I LOVE those times, and I wish there were more of them.

I’m sorry that the dinner table is a nightly battleground for who can talk the loudest and act the craziest. (Sorry, also, that Daddy and I are always getting mad about that aforementioned craziness. We just want a quiet dinner!)

And I’m sorry about bedtime, when you’re the most open to conversation and when I wish I could talk with you longer, rub your back more, and wrap my arms around you for all the time it takes until you finally close your eyes and drift away.  I want to—and I try my best—but your brother and sister need me, too, and some nights I’m just so tired that I just want to drift away, too.

But, Middle Child, here’s what I am NOT sorry for:

I’m not sorry that you have a big brother who lets you bunk in his room when you’re scared at night and who reads his favorite books out loud to you until you decide they’re your favorite books, too.

I’m not sorry that you have a baby sister who adores you, who thinks you are her “prince” when you take her hands and dance around the living room to endless Alexa song requests. I’m not sorry when I see how sweet you are with her, how you encourage her, teach her, and play with her (even when all she wants to play is the make-believe fairy tale stuff that you don’t really like).

I’m not sorry that you have a playmate. A video game ally. A dance partner. A co-conspirator. Someone to catch your throw, to bounce with you on the trampoline, to jump up and down on the couch with you until we (once again) tell you to “Stop jumping on the couch!”

I’m not sorry when I see all three of you racing around the house, a wild herd of sweat and giggles that inevitably ends when one of you falls down and another runs to fetch an ice pack from the freezer.

And… I’m (sad, but) not sorry that… someday… when I’m no longer your everything.. you’ll have two people out there in the world rooting for you. Two people to fall back on when you’re lost or confused or heartbroken. Two people who know you better than anyone.

I’m not sorry you have these two special people to share your childhood with, these two special people who will love you in spite of all the bickering and battles and noise we face today.

I love you, Middle Child. And what I need you to remember is this: While I can’t always give you all of me—you always have all of my heart.

Love, Mommy

P.S.: To Little Sister and Big Brother: I love you with all of my heart, too! (Because mommy hearts do that.)

Melissa Heckscher is a writer and mother of three living in Los Angeles. She is a former staff writer for the Los Angeles Newspaper Group and the author of several books, including,The Pregnancy Test: 150 Important, Embarrassing, and Slightly Neurotic Questions (Quirk Books, 2011). 

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“Professional Couch Potato” Sounds Like the Best Job Ever & It Pays $20 an Hour

by Erica Loop

Calling all television-lovers. Your dream job is here! Yep, now you can get paid to watch TV. That is, if you’re lucky enough to score this ridiculously rad gig. Oh, and did we mention that it pays $20 an hour?

Your fantasy could come true (and no, we don’t mean the one that has any of the Hemsworth brothers in it). Imagine that you get to spend the day sitting on the couch binge-watching show after show. And you don’t need to feel bad about it—because it’s your job. Whoa.

Photo: Jeshoots via Unsplash

The website HowToWatch.com recently announced that they have an open position for the right candidate to test live-streaming platforms. The job requires some serious TV-watching—100 hours in all. This contract position (meaning it’s not full-time or permanent) pays $500 up front and $1,500 after the job is completed.

There are no required or set hours, as long as you watch 100 hours total by Nov. 1, 2018. This includes at least 14 hours of live content on each of the major streaming platforms they’re testing: DIRECTV NOW, fuboTV, Hulu with Live TV, Philo, PlayStation Vue, Sling TV and YouTube TV. And don’t worry if you aren’t a subscriber of these services now—the job includes free access to them.

Along with watching TV, you’ll also need to take detailed notes (on the performance of the streaming service) and help HowtoWatch.com score live streaming services.

To apply you’ll need to be at least 18 years old, have excellent communication skills, maintain a strong social media presence, a passion for TV and entertainment and the ability to rate the quality of the stream itself. While experience creating product reviews isn’t a must-have, it is a bonus.

If this sounds like the job for you, go to HowtoWatch.com and apply!

—Erica Loop

 

 

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Why I Won’t Buy School Pictures This Year

By Kate Hamernik

Photo: Highlights Along the Way

Every year since preschool I have purchased school pictures of all three kiddos. Crappy backgrounds, forced poses, and terrible lighting seems to be the formula. Every year I complained about the expense of something I didn’t want. Last year I finally liberated myself from school pictures. It took me a while to get over the weird guilt, but I am here to tell you it is OK to not buy school pictures.

Picture day is fun, I have always let the kids wear whatever they want. For my oldest this means a polyester flower girl dress that I drug home from a thrift store along with some of her Aunt Jewel’s fancy hand me down accessories. My son often wears an obnoxious saying shirt, even though I have told him nobody will be able to read it the way the photo is cropped. My littlest? It doesn’t matter, she isn’t gonna sit for a stranger anyway. The big ones bring home their little slip with four mediocre pictures, we talk about how beautiful and big they are. We put them in a drawer never to look at them again. Do I buy these pictures? Not anymore. They are terrible. I don’t buy things I don’t want anymore.

For a few years I bought pictures begrudgingly because I thought it did some greater good. I operated under the false understanding that the pictures were a fundraiser for the school. I asked at one point what the percentage of the donation was. Well the world came crashing down when I heard there was no fundraiser and never had been. I have no idea where I got this idea, but now the only thread that kept me buying sub par pictures was snapped.

Now hear me when I say I don’t mind paying photographers. What I do have a problem with is paying for stuff I don’t like, or like, stuff that is redundant. I pay for great photography about once a year.  We have these beautiful photos taken in natural light at the best time of day for photos. The setting and our wardrobe flow effortlessly with our home decor.

It is almost criminal to hang up the collection of these beautiful photos and then slap a conventional school picture next to it. My photographer gives me a disc with images so I can make wallets for Grandma and Grandpa and anyone else of the fantastic portraits … so why would I give them this wallet picture that is just kinda ‘meh’? Any local Facebook group will show you a photographer in your area that has a mini session for somewhere around $100 – $200. School pictures set me back about $100 if I buy the least expensive package for each kid. I pass on the school pictures and don’t feel bad about booking with a natural light photographer.

So the drill was the same each year. The last two years it was three sets of pictures! Stiff poses – check. Forced smiles – check. Bad lighting – check. Cheesy background you’ve been rolling down for the last  twenty years – check. Do your kids have glasses? Yes. Great, we will order some inexcusable glare on those photos. We have lots of package choices, which would you like? You know there is one that includes a keychain right? Pass on the plexiglass keychain? Alright cheapskate, your three bargain level packages add up to just under $100. Fantastic.

This is a fish in a barrel situation for the photographer. Most schools have hundreds of kids. Teachers line them all up for efficiency. Many photographers work for all the schools in the school district. With digital photography being as easy to produce I cannot understand why they aren’t working a little bit harder to improve the quality of the photos. Their craft is easier to produce and they are still charging a similar amount to what my parents were charged 25 years ago. Don’t even get me started on the photo packages, when we live in a world where we can print from a disc. Really though, why are we rewarding this behavior? I have heard people say “I wish they had a better photographer,” and “I wish we had other options, but this is their only school picture.” Nowadays there are lots of better options; this is just a tradition.

Back in the day I remember a couple friend’s parents didn’t even own a camera. School pictures were not much worse than a trip to Olan Mills, which many people could not afford. While my parents did have a camera, film was expensive and you didn’t see the pictures until you had developed them. For many, school pictures were the one consistent half way decent picture to document a child over the years. My point is, photography and access to it has evolved significantly but school pictures are pretty much the same as they have always been. Tradition? I mean, maybe. But I don’t like this tradition, bad pictures is a tradition that dies with me.

Now nearly everyone has a cell phone with a camera on it. Not everyone, but it is very common. On any day of the week you can get a photo package at Picture People for $11. At Picture People (or any mall photo studio) you are at least going to have the option of different poses and backgrounds and a little more time spent with your child. I’m not really trying to sell you on mall photography either; I’m just saying it is often better quality and almost always a better deal. I’ve honestly seen advertisements for mini sessions with natural light photographers in our area advertised for less than what our three packages add up to.

Pinterest can lead you to hundreds of articles on how to improve your photography even with an iPhone or point and shoot camera. Many people have a home printer that prints photo quality and many photographers will now give you a disc with photos on it to print to your heart’s content. So again, with all these options at my fingertips WHY am I gonna pay $30 for two 5X7 and a sheet of wallets of a stiff picture of my kid?

“But Kate, your kid will not have a class picture with all their friends!” Call me crazy, I do not care about having a picture of other people’s kids. After the first five minutes of ownership of a class picture my kids don’t care either. They look at it and never ever ask to see it ever again. Also I have dozens of pictures of my kids with their friends.  Parents snap pictures every time they volunteer, the teacher sends us pictures she has snapped. I would much rather collect photos of them having fun with one another than a ultra glossy line up. No problem there either.

I’m done with school pictures and it feels great. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know it’s OK to not buy school pictures. I promise.

Kate Hamernik writes about family fun at Highlights Along The Way. Kate lives in San Diego California with her husband, three kids, and their dog Mabel. She writes about travel, adoption, Disney everything, living richly on less, and watching her kids grown into big people.

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Hilarious Instagram Account Shows What It’s Like To Father Four Daughters

by Red Tricycle

If other people’s perfect photos make you feel bad about yourself, worry not! British dad Simon Hooper shares candidly on his Instagram what it’s like to live in a house with four daughters. “My whole account is to show a realistic view of what parenting is like from a parent’s perspective,” the dad told HuffPost. “There is way too much sugar coating when it comes to parents, so I wanted to share what it’s really like and provide a bit of humor at the same time.”

Simon’s Instagram, @father_of_daughters, stars his wife, Clementine, and his four daughters– ages 9, 6, and twins who are 10-months old. He has accumulated nearly half-a-million followers, and we can see why! Check out some of his funniest posts below.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMpN0dfDB-9/

 

Are you following him? Let us know in the comments below!

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