Reese Witherspoon just teased going back to her “rom-com roots” and we couldn’t be more excited
You know that time, right after the holidays, when it’s dark and cold out and there are no more Christmas-themed rom-coms to watch? That part of the year has always been a tough one, but not this year. This year, our queen Reese Witherspoon is gracing us with a Netflix rom-com where she’ll star opposite Ashton Kutcher, and it’s basically a romance lover’s dream come true. And they just blessed us with a trailer.
According to Netflix, the new movie, called Your Place Or Mine, will star Witherspoon as Debbie and Kutcher as Peter, a pair of lifelong friends and polar opposites who agree to trade lives in hopes of shaking things up and finding a new perspective.
“She craves routine with her son in LA.; he thrives on change in NY,” the official Netflix synopsis reads. “When they swap houses and lives for a week, they discover what they think they want might not be what they really need.”
What makes this news even better is that Your Place Or Mine was written by Aline Brosh McKenna, the rom-com legend who penned 27 Dresses and The Devil Wears Prada. She opened up to People magazine about what we can expect from this movie.
“It’s about love and getting out of your own way to find love and having the courage to take the leap to find it, and it’s meant to be written about people who have lived some and know who they are,” she said. “And [about] that chance that they’re taking to bridge the gap with each other and how they’re going to do that, given all the things they’ve undergone in the years since they’ve first met. I’m hoping that really resonates with people, and makes them feel good in a time when I think we’re all looking for things that will make us feel great.”
McKenna will also direct the new Netflix film—her first time in that role.
Your Place Or Mine will also star Jesse Williams, Zoë Chao, Wesley Kimmel, Rachel Bloom, Shiri Appleby, Steve Zahn, and Tig Notaro. While there’s no trailer just yet, it’s scheduled to hit Netflix on Feb. 10, 2023—just in time for Valentine’s Day!
How many of those “perfect Instagram” moms do you follow on social media? You know the ones. They seem to have it all—their house is spotless, their toddler is eating a gourmet meal full of the vegetables they grew in their perfectly manicured backyard, and they’re always dressed in white linen that somehow manages to stay immaculately clean.
You sigh, click off your phone, and are shocked at your reflection, impressed that you’ve been able to go about your day, looking the way you do. Horrified, you look up, and observe the rest of your reality—your daughter’s fingernails which, for some reason, are full of flour and glitter; your son, who desperately needs a haircut and has already outgrown the tee shirt you bought him last week; your apartment and the visual reminders of the chores you can never seem to get to in one weekend.
This is your life. And now you feel like crap.
We live in a society that tells us we need to hide our struggles. That you need to make it seem like you’re doing it all—work a full-time job that you love, spend quality time with your kids and your partner, put a healthy dinner on the table every night. And do it with a beautiful, Invisalign-ed smile. However, that’s not real life.
I’ll start by letting you in on a little secret. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and depression, and I suffer from frequent panic attacks. Do you think of me differently now?
Here’s my reality: I’m a worrier by nature. I look for emergency exits whenever I enter a room. I catastrophize everything. I take notes during post-apocalyptic movies. Should the world ever suffer some sort of global emergency, I have a plan. And a back-up plan. And a back-up plan to my back-up plan.
But here’s where it gets taken to the next level: simple, everyday tasks give me anxiety. I can’t go into a new coffee shop because I need to know their exact ordering process before I go inside. Why? I Because I don’t want to be that annoying customer that asks the barista for milk in my coffee when I’m actually supposed to pour it myself. I struggle to book medical appointments if I can’t do it online. Why? Because the thought of talking to someone on the phone to find a date that works sends me into a panic.
Here are some things that I’ve learned that help me live with anxiety:
It’s a medical condition.
I’m the queen of saying “I’m fine” and I push through even when I feel like crap. It’s taken me years to get to the point where I feel like it’s ok to say “I don’t feel ok today.” If you have the flu you rest, right? It’s the same thing with anxiety. You need to listen to your body and treat it the same way you would any other medical condition—whether that means taking medication, going to therapy, or self-managing with mindfulness techniques.
Know your triggers.
My biggest one is “mom guilt.” I work well over 40 hours a week. I love my job, but I’ve got to juggle that with raising my two kids. There are days when I want to put blinders on and just focus on work, but I’ve got to pick up the kids from school and make dinner. There are days when I just want to be a mom and spend time lounging on the couch with the kids, but then there’s a fire that needs to be put out at work. Most days I feel like a failure at work and at home and it’s a terrible feeling.
So how do I deal with this on a regular basis? Truthfully, I don’t have the answer yet. But I am learning how to ease the guilt a bit so that I’m not in a constant state of depression. I remind myself that I’m doing my best. Did the kids eat? Great. It doesn’t matter that it was a bowl of cereal or microwaveable nuggets. If you are measuring your life against a social media fantasy, you will always come up short. At the end of the day, here’s your reality: your kids are loved, they’re safe, and it’s you that they run to when they’re upset.
You’ve got to ask for help.
I grew up with the mentality that asking for help was a sign of weakness. So, I’ve started with baby steps and, for me, that means simply admitting that I need help. I can’t do it all alone and I’ve come to realize that I have people around me that are willing to lend a hand.
I’ve gotten better at talking to my husband and verbalizing how he can help me. By telling him the things which trigger my anxiety (i.e. making appointments for the kids), he now knows what he can do to help. And on the days when I have a lot on my plate at work, I’ve gotten comfortable with texting my crew of mom friends and asking for help. I’ve come to realize that “It takes a village” isn’t just a saying.
There was a time before my diagnosis when I just felt like I was a terrible mom, a horrible wife, and a useless employee. I know now that, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I give my all to everything, every day. Even when it means that my “all” is making breakfast for dinner three nights in a row and missing a work deadline.
Some days I feel great. Other days, I can barely get myself out of bed in the morning. Some days I can tackle every item on my to-do list. Other days, just getting the kids to school and getting myself into the office is all I can muster. It’s life with anxiety. It’s my reality. And it’s ok.
Natalie Fuertes is the owner of Industry Gymnastics, a gymnastics facility in NYC that focuses on creating a space that is welcoming to all children, regardless of race, gender identity, or sexual-orientation. She is a proud Nuyorican, racial justice advocate, wife, and mama of two.
The pandemic has been hard, if not impossible, for everyone around the world. I have friends that lost young spouses, a grandparent whose health is just not the same after being in isolation and kids that are relearning how to make it through a day of in-person school.
I know that my family is lucky. But I had this nagging desire to do more for my kids that just wouldn’t go away. Throughout the day, I swing from wanting to give and do everything they ask in an effort to make up for lost time, to knowing that these acts of overindulgence will create a new set of problems. Saying yes non-stop is bad for the rules my husband and I tried so hard to put in place and we are getting on a path where the kids feel like it’s never enough. Truthfully, they seemed more content when we were more judicial with our yesses. You know when your kid is eating ice cream for breakfast and can’t sit still for five seconds that you’ve crossed the line when it comes to good parenting skills. It’s not that terrible, but it’s a slippery slope.
It then dawned on me that the perfect opportunity to indulge my feelings of wanting to show that we understood all that the kids have gone through the past year and mark a new beginning (albeit with guidelines from the CDC) would be at their birthday. This is a time when we make a big deal about being older, it’s a natural time to evaluate the new responsibilities they can take on and it is the perfect day to overindulge them. The more I thought about it, the more I decided that this year’s birthday would be a celebration like no other. Not in terms of the number of people invited or money spent, but the way that we celebrate.
The M&M & Pizza Methodology
Of course, the first place I went to for inspiration was Instagram. For me personally, it was a bust. I felt intimidated by the perfection of it all and started adding up the costs which gave me anxiety. Plus, the setup and clean-up sounded like a drag.
Then I remembered a story from Morgan Oliveira who told me that her mom, Denise Oliveira who is a High School English teacher, would order pizza for Morgan’s birthday parties when she was a kid. Before the pizza was served at the table, Denise would sneak into the pizza boxes and sprinkle M&M’s onto the pies. My first response was M&Ms and pizza? It didn’t sound so tasty, but apparently, it is extremely exciting for everyone. As kids, Morgan thought that it was the “birthday special” pizza pie made just for her. As an adult, it is one of her fondest memories from her childhood.
Focus on Your Child’s Personality & Likes
I loved this idea because it’s about making your kid feel special by understanding who they are and what they love. It wasn’t about big balloon displays or hiring a magician. So, I reached out to my friend Monique Banks who has been a party planner for decades. Currently, she and her daughter, Ariel Banks Baker, have a successful event planning company. Years ago, Monique had a children’s party studio, and the mother-daughter team just launched a new company called Blueprint. With over 3,000 kids’ parties under their belts, Monique and Ariel offer DIY downloadable plans with 27 themes that are fully customizable. hey confirmed my hunch about what kids really want, which is a day that makes them feel like they are the focus of the day.
It’s not about how big or fancy the party is, but rather if you are thinking about your child in a way that makes them feel special. What type of candy do they like to eat, what type of games do they like to play, do they have a favorite color? These are the things that make kids feel that they are having a magical experience. Monique and Ariel also let me in on a very important secret: The best parties have constant high-energy games where there a no winners and no losers.
Adults Need to Have Fun Too
The best part is that the adults get to have a good time too. Fewer worries about setting up and cleaning up mean that kids get more attention from their parents which is exactly what they are looking for on their birthdays. Kids know when parents are stressed and tired and it’s not the vibe that you want on a day that is supposed to be about them. Organizing games where kids are having the time of their lives is a gift for parents too. Seeing the little person that you love so much laughing and having a good time is the best present of all.
Lessons Beyond the Birthday
By creating a special day that includes everything my child loves most, makes them feel important. That came with a positive lesson for all of us. When you know how happy someone is because you are thoughtful and that effort makes them feel great, it is an important life lesson. I’m hoping that the kids will want to do things for their friends and family, not because they have to or because it is expected, but because they know that it will make the person feel terrific.
Even though we were stuck inside together for so many months, I had to make a special point of making fun family time and it never felt like it was enough. Being at home for more hours and days meant more laundry, more dirt, more dishes to wash, more schoolwork and homework, cooking more meals, and also juggling my own work. As so many of us know, it was a stressful time. This birthday, I hope, will mark a new beginning. I’m ready to celebrate! Responsibly, of course.
I'm a mom of two children, wife, and love my fur baby, traveling and playing UNO. My passion is discovering services and products by entrepreneurs, especially those that can cut down on some screen time and help our family create lasting memories together.
My entire life, I have struggled with my body image and my own self-worth. A girl with a pretty face, but whose body never seemed to match the face. A tummy that always stuck out. Love handles that were always there. My brother, teasingly, because that’s what brothers do, patting my belly at 15 and saying, “Is it a boy or girl?” I would analyze every angle of myself just wishing I could wave a magic wand and look like my friends strutting around the beach in bikinis, whereas I had to wear a tankini to hide the fat.
As a child, my mother always had the house looking like something out of a magazine. Everything was meticulous. She would refresh her lipstick throughout the day and had hair that was always perfectly in place. My mother, in her size four attire, took pride in her appearance, and exercised regularly. There was nothing wrong with the way she took care of our house and her appearance. I was and still am proud of the woman who raised me. The problem was, even as a child, I constantly compared myself to her. I wasn’t as naturally slight as her, I didn’t have her vivacious personality. I was quiet, chubby, and bookish.
This pessimistic, self-doubting attitude followed me into college. Partying too much, and eating too many carbs, I gained the traditional freshman 15- or in my case 20. But instead of focusing on healthy eating and exercising, I began going through periods where I would skip meals and when I did eat, I would throw up afterward. This was the start of a tumultuous relationship with food and myself. I didn’t think I was worthy of a positive relationship so I dated men who didn’t value me. Men who only saw me as a “hookup” or someone to call when they were drinking.
Thankfully, after college, I discovered running. It was such a great stress reliever and gave me the positive endorphins that I had been missing. Between running, and an excessive amount of Vitamin D from moving to San Diego I was happy and started to see myself in a positive light. I met this wonderful man, who is now my husband of eleven years, and he sees the light in me even on my darkest days.
I wish I could say that by meeting Greg all my insecurities went out the window. They didn’t because I’d never really dealt with the issues at hand. I saw myself in this negative space that made me feel I wasn’t good enough. That when I look in the mirror, I probably see someone who is 50 lbs. heavier than I actually am. That I hate having my picture taken, and when I do have to be in a photo, I cringe when I see a photo because I can’t believe I could look like that.
I now have an almost eleven-year-old and six-year-old. I also have a thyroid problem. I know that I am chronically stressed and my hormones are out of whack. Unfortunately, none of these have been good for my mental health. Many days I still don’t feel great about myself, but there is one thing that has changed—and it is the little people who are looking at me to be their mirror.
I can’t let history repeat itself. So much of our self-worth comes from what our parents instill in us. As my oldest daughter is on the edge of beginning puberty, I have seen her trying on outfits, and making a face when she thinks she doesn’t look good enough or pinching her tummy. It terrifies me.
I encourage her to make healthy choices (but it is okay to have a treat too). She is even starting to take an interest in cooking, so I have been encouraging her to look up healthy recipes that she would want to eat. She is an anxious kid and we are working on making sure that she moves her body not because it is a rule or something she has to do, but because it puts her in a positive headspace and is calming.
My youngest daughter was eating a cookie one afternoon, and when I asked her if I could have a bite, she replied, “No, because of the calories.” I asked her what she meant by that and she told me that if I don’t watch my calories, I’ll get a bigger belly and not be pretty. Calories is not something we talk about in our house.
I said to her following the cookie incident, “ Being beautiful doesn’t mean you are skinny. God makes people in lots of different ways. Besides don’t you think what matters most is that you are a good, kind person, and always try your best?” By that point, she had lost interest in the conversation and went back to playing with her Shopkins, but I hope the point was not lost. Here was this six-year-old bringing up calories—she saw me in the same negative light I had seen myself in for two decades. I cannot change my past perception of myself, but I can change the image of myself that I present to my daughters and our society’s interpretation of what beauty is.
At 38 years old, every once in a while that same teenage girl full of so much self-loathing tries to take over. With effort, I focus on my good qualities. My writing, my sarcastic sense of humor, my blue eyes, and curly hair. And there are days when the cycle wants to repeat itself, but those incredible little people who I get the privilege of raising, deserve more than that. So, I tell that girl, the sullen girl to get out of the mirror so I can help pave the way and set an example for these strong, talented, and beautiful girls that I get to call mine.
I am a mom to two smart, audacious, and beautiful little girls (10, 6) . I am a fiction writer, and almost through my first draft of my novel. When I'm not reading, or writing fiction I freelance copywrite and teach middle school English.
Most summers, the night we do a lobster dinner (it’s a whole thing) and the next-day lobster rolls are a highlight. This year, lobsters will be important in our family—and at Tinkergarten—all summer and beyond. Lobsters are going to teach our kids how to social distance. As you prepare for whatever you have on deck this summer, we hope lobsters can help your family too!
How Lobsters Became Our Teachers
As a parent, I needed to help my young kids learn to stay 6 feet from humans they love. As an educator, I needed to design lessons to help kids play and learn together while maintaining distance.
The design requirements in both cases were the same: Kids had to be together with people they love and with friends; kids had to learn to maintain distance, and kids had to feel great about it—not just be “unharmed” but great, in control, playful and joyful. Sounds like a tall order, but that is just the kind of design challenge I love.
The answer? I know that animals make powerful allies for children. So, the key was to find an animal that could help me teach kids to back up and keep their distance. It turns out, lobsters can move backward even faster than they move forward. As the Wild Kratts team would say, that is one super cool “creature power.”
How to Teach Kids to Lobster
Give them the right introduction, and lobsters can start helping right away:
1. Look at pictures of lobstersand/or watch some clips of lobsters in motion. If screens are active in your house, Watch a PBS Kids Wild Kratts episode about Lobsters or watch real like lobsters in St. Maarten here! In Tinkergarten class, each child gets a personalized note from a lobster! 2. Ask kids what they notice and what seems special about lobsters. 3. Share “I learned something about lobsters that I think is amazing; do you want to hear? Lobsters can move as fast backward as they can move forward! I know I can’t do that!” 4. Try it yourself! “Want to try to lobster walk?!” As you pretend to move like lobsters, it’s fun for kids who are really steady on their feet to feel how much harder it is to go fast backward as humans. Don’t forget to add in some pretend claws as you play! 5. Suggest another lobster walk a few times a day for a while—and stay silly with it. 6. Reinforce it. Eventually, you can say things like, “Hey, let’s take a little lobster walk…” or even just quietly make a pinching-claws motion with a wink, and kids will back right up.
Why Lobsters Make Such Great Teachers
First and foremost, we know little kids can learn this—coming to understand and respect others’ and our own personal space is a fundamental lesson of early childhood. And even very young kids can get behind the reason we are doing this: to keep ourselves and our friends safe. But, reason alone won’t do the trick, since the actions required to keep distance are opposite from what kids are used to. Plus, little kids are still learning impulse control. Kids need reminders and plenty of practice to get this down.
By learning to walk backward like lobsters, we give our kids a fun and imaginative way to practice backing up—just enough to make their bubbles a bit bigger. Kids can have a blast practicing lobster walks before they even get into a new social situation. Even more importantly, we have a way to give our kiddos the reminders they need once we are in a social situation—and a reminder that is kid-friendly, non-shaming, and super fun.
This summer, no matter what you do, put lobster on your menu of teaching tools—and just watch. Who knew that what could look like nagging could turn into joyful, creature-inspired play—and the chance for you to breathe a little while kiddo gets to be safe outdoors with friends and family again!
After 18 years as an educator, curriculum developer and school leader, Meghan has her dream gig—an entrepreneur/educator/mom who helps families everywhere, including hers, learn outside. Today, Meghan serves as co-founder and Chief Learning Officer of Tinkergarten, the national leader in outdoor play-based learning.
I developed the Sneaky Tag Cleanup Game in my classes with Child’s Play NY. We use this technique to clean up crafts, props, and snacks, but it’s actually fun to play it as a game in and of itself. And my experience as a mom has led me to realize it translates equally great as a game you can play around the house to get things done. As a matter of fact, the Sneaky Tag Cleanup Game is the best way to kick-off spring cleaning!
Get into characters:
KIDS: Spirited, wily, do-gooders who love to clean up/restore-order/right a wrong.
YOU: A grumpy, evil curmudgeon who is desperately sleepy doesn’t see well and loves a mess.
Find the Drama:
Kids try to get objects cleaned up
You are snoozing but then…
You wake up and notice something awry! (things are missing/cleaner)
Kids have to freeze.
Play around with not noticing the kids in their frozen state, or thinking that they are new statues in your garden/trees in your woods.
Tell a great story beforehand. Use Story Clap or read a fairy tale where wily characters get the upper-hand. Tom Thumb, Jack, and the Beanstalk and Anansi are the trickster characters who are favorites in my house.
Be a character—but not too scary. I like to make my bad-guy persona someone who is not too clever and a little slower paced to let the kids feel empowered even though they also may feel scared (depending on their age). Working through their fear and strengthening their courage when faced with a scary character is actually a great bonus to this game.
Other games to play to get the kids in on the clean-up action:
Sometimes you just have to focus on getting the job done and play The Super Speed Clean Up game. Kids are motivated, through play, to get their toys or mess put away. Although it is a game, it is completely purposeful. Here’s how to play:
Wind up your child
Wind up yourself
Enjoy the super-speed clean-up
Play with slowing down
Recharge with another wind-up, a hug or bite of fruit (for example)
Continue cleaning until the mess is gone!
There is a joyful energy that goes hand-in-hand with this game. Even though the mess might be enormous, kids love the playful premise when tackling it. Kids assume a character or a cleaning up machine, and with this role comes liberation and empowerment. Furthermore, they love the “breaking down” process where the gears slow and they need to be wound up again. Customize the with the way you re-charge: Is it a hug? A wind-up? A fruit snack?
Jumpstart Chores: If you’ve been reluctant or unclear about how to start delegating chores in your house, use spring cleaning as the kickstart you need. Julie Lythcott-Haims author of How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Over-parenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, says, “Even if our child’s sweat equity is not needed to ensure the smooth running of our home, they must contribute know how to contribute, and feel the rewards of contributing in order to have the right approach to hard work when they head out into the workplace and become citizens of the community.”
Here are some examples of chores for our youngest kids (not including pet or yard related chores—add ‘em if you’ve got ‘em). P.S. Until you feel like your child can do these on their own, these chores should all be done with adult supervision.
Use small hand-vacuum on furniture and their own room
Load and empty washer/dryer for personal clothes
Empty indoor trash bins
Take out recycling
Cleaning Up with Mindfulness
As you clean up and discover items to give away, talk about the younger kids in your life (siblings, cousins, family friends) who you will hand things off too. Have your child mindfully separate the clothing/toys into piles for the people depending on their ages and interests.
Donate to a shelter. For New York-based readers, I love Little Essentials
Have your child write a note to the people who will get their things. “I wore these snow pants last year and they kept me warm and dry on snow days! I hope you love them too!” While this seems like a simple exercise, it strengthens your child’s gratitude muscles enormously. By doing this, whether they write words or draw a picture, it will make them appreciate what they had and feel great about passing it on.
Extend your cleaning to the street and make it a point to pick up trash on your block or in your neighborhood. You can even make a day of it and use one of those fun trash grabber things!
Maybe one day I’ll be able to do the KonMarie method correctly! Until then, I’ll be enjoying the simple pleasures of clean-up games with Nathaniel.
Jocelyn Greene is a Brooklyn based educator, director and mom. With her company, Child's Play NY, she teaches hundreds of kids a year and is equally joyous adapting fairytales for 4s as she is staging Shakespaere with the teens. Check out http://www.childsplayinaction.com/ for video tutorials on game-based play to do at home!
A new apparel line has just been launched by Gerber Childrenswear to be sold exclusively at Walmart. Gerber Modern Moments offers moms a stylish and sophisticated brand that does not compromise on quality. Designed for comfort, the clothing is made with 97% organic cotton and 3% spandex.
“As an iconic brand with a deep heritage of providing the best essentials for babies, Gerber is constantly evolving to appeal to today’s consumer while providing great value,” said Donna DeBoer, Chief Merchandising Officer at Gerber Childrenswear. “We have built our apparel brand on providing parents with quality products that look, fit and feel great. Our Gerber Modern Moments line has a new color palette and modern silhouettes, all made from organic cotton.”
The line features new designs and colors, including a variety of separates that can be combined to create multiple looks at a great value.
“Our purpose is to be parents’ trusted partner on their parenting journey. We felt there was a need for a fashion-forward modern line of baby essentials from a brand parents can trust to bring high quality at an affordable price,” said Maria Montaño, President and CEO.
Gerber Modern Moments is available exclusively at Walmart stores nationwide and on Walmart.com. Prices range from $2.84 – $12.84.
This has been a challenging year for me. My sixteen year old seems like he has grown not only inches per day in height but also worlds away in maturity and independence. My daughter, and my youngest, has just turned thirteen. This officially makes me a mom to two teenagers. The thing is, that it is not just their age and physical size that catches me off guard and makes me feel suddenly older than I thought. It is also the distinct change in the dynamics of our relationships.
I have always loved being a mom and have found so much of my fulfillment in that role. I’ve loved serving my kids, providing for them and being needed by them. When they were younger, my days revolved around their needs, both physical and emotional. My favorite times were being with them and I know that they looked forward to any time we could plan together for family outings, game nights, movie nights, night-time tuck ins, lazy summer afternoons and trips to the library. It seems like at every age and stage they have gone through I’ve said, “This is my favorite age”. Now I find myself questioning how I feel about this stage.
For the first time I have mixed emotions and, sadly, I think it is probably due to selfish notions on my part. You see, I believe the whole purpose of raising children is to help them become responsible and independent adults someday. That’s the goal, right? We don’t raise them hoping that they’ll stay dependent and needy of us forever, do we? I know that the changes that are taking place are good and right and as they are meant to be. I just have to adjust my outlook and my own mindset to accept the changes and find the joy in the young adults my children are becoming.
I think the challenge for me is that, if I’m honest, most of the maturing and growing that I see in my kids brings a little bit of sadness to me for what we have lost. I feel a thrilling joy in seeing my teenage son start to drive and see him dream of the freedom and opportunities that a license will bring. At the same time, part of me is thinking ahead to all the times we’ll miss in the car together when I won’t need to drive him to friends’ houses and sports practices and to and from school. I love seeing that both of my children are now old enough to make themselves dinner if we are out and put themselves to bed.
It makes me happy to know that they are responsible and independent enough to take care of themselves. However, what does this mean for me? Does this mean that they don’t need me to take care of them anymore? For so long I hoped and prayed for my kids to have good, strong and meaningful friendships. My desire was for them to find friends they could trust and confide in and friends who would bring out the best in them, appreciating them for who they are. Careful what you wish for! Now it feels like I can barely keep them home or away from friends and social activities long enough to have a meaningful conversation. Sometimes I feel like I’m standing in the corner waving a sign that says, “I’m over here. What about me?”
The truth is that when I step back and really look at the changes that are taking place and the feelings that I feel, what I find is a lot of joy and pride (and probably some misplaced self-pity). These changes taking place in my kids are all part of the normal and good path of growing up. Becoming more responsible, desiring independence and putting a high value on a social life are all positive things. I’m thankful to see these traits in my children. What I’m learning is that my perspective needs to change and grow too.
I need to start accepting this growth for the good thing that it is. I need to focus on all the positive aspects of our relationships and the many new things to love about this stage of their lives (like deeper adult conversations, insights into their thoughts and opinions that are different from my own, getting to know their friends and having them start to give back more when help is needed). I need to stop feeling sorry for the time I’m missing with them and choose to see, instead, new ways to fill that time and that purpose that I desire. Through a year of witnessing change and growth in my kids, I’ve realized that they do still need me, but just in a different way. I sometimes feel like a coach and motivator, sometimes just a listener, sometimes a friend, and often still a driver and supplier and cook and disciplinarian. In all these roles I feel great love and gratitude and think I’m learning to say, “This, too, is my favorite age”.
Remember, the goal is not to raise great kids; it’s to raise kids who become great adults.
I choose to see the good each day. I am a happily married mom of two teenagers who also works part-time. I write about my thoughts and observations of good thing. My goal is to inspire readers to find joy without changing their circumstances, but by merely changing their view.
Looking for some grub you can feel great about giving them? Thankfully Atlanta has a fresh crop of new restaurants that offer healthy fare with the small set in mind. Here’s the dish on some spots that serve up feel-good food and fun.
True Food Kitchen
“Honest food that tastes good,” sums up the mantra for this new, smart eats spot at Lenox. Vegetarian? Vegan? Gluten-free? They have you covered. They are magicians at making healthy food look appetizing to your wee ones. There are veggie sticks with hummus for dipping to start, or an almond butter, strawberry and banana sandwich. For picky peanuts, there’s an organic tomato and cheese pizza. If kale, quinoa, tempeh and spaghetti squash isn’t your thing, order up the tacos or lasagna and even you won’t suspect that this is healthy fare.
Souper Jenny
This second new location for Souper Jenny is situated on the beautiful historic Decatur Square near the old Courthouse. Order your food cafeteria style, and snag a spot on the patio. Quick and scenic? Yes, please! Expect hot and cold soups, main staples such as “My Dad’s Turkey Chili” or a seasonal favorites like their summer corn chowder. While soup de jour is the main course, you can also order sandwiches and salads. Weight watchers points are available, along with plenty of vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free options. The menu changes daily, so it’s always a “souprise.”
Ration and Dram
Edgewood’s new, neighborhood restaurant hits the spot for a fam-friendly date night. There are three different patios, with loads of television screens to watch the big game, and the menu covers all the bases for vegetarians and carnivores. They focus on local food, and are very invested in getting food from local farmer’s markets and using hormone-free meats. If you can’t get your little ones to try the sautéed Swiss chard or broccoli and cauliflower fondue, maybe they’ll like the summer vegetable hash with a side of mac-and-cheese.
Luckys!
Brookhaven’s new burger and brew restaurant doesn’t necessarily sound healthy or kid-friendly, but is actually both (and even the family pup is welcome). How much fun will your little ones have dining out with the family dog? Order up one of their hearty salads, such as the “Just East of Cobb” Salad or Piedmont Salad. You’ll find a chicken breast among the kids menu, along with other toddler mainstays. Custom craft your black bean, turkey or chicken burger—or opt for the Greek, Taco or Russian burger. Don’t forget a side of sweet potato fries!
The Pig and the Pearl
Surf and turf gets a southern twist at this new Atlantic Station spot. It is gluten-free friendly, although vegetarians will have to get more creative with their ordering. This shouldn’t be a problem, though, as the chef is happy to accommodate any dietary restrictions. There are a lot of indulgences, but you can find healthier alternatives with the heirloom tomato salad, local carrots, kale salad, lettuce wraps or roasted beets. The carnivores will have their choice of nearly every meat cooked in every which way, including an extensive raw bar. You can also order a family meal, which will feed four to six, but 48 hour notice is required.
Searching for maternity clothes can rank right up there with jeans & swimsuit shopping. Must it be tent-like to be comfortable? Finding something that fits for all nine months and looks stylish is like winning the pre-& post-partum jackpot. Mom’s the Word, a new Mid-City high-end maternity shop, saves the day with fashionable finds that you’ll want to wear through out your pregnancy − and beyond.
The Low Down
The first thing you notice when you walk in the shop is that the pants, skirts, dresses and tops that line the walls are all things that you’d want to wear even if you weren’t pregnant. The store works from the premise that each piece will be a great addition to your wardrobe, no matter what stage of life you are in. In fact the stretchy, deep blue Page Denim maternity pants were so cute, we spied the sale clerk (not pregnant) wearing them the day of the opening.
While the prices are more in line with J. Crew and Banana Republic than Target, it’s well worth it to feel fantastic for those months when you can’t see your own feet. And if paying full price for clothes you’ll only wear for a few months is still a sticky point, browse in the store, and then shop online. We found that the online sales section offers even more variety than the in-store one.
Bump and Beyond
Slightly bigger sizes of your favorite clothes are great for that first stage of pregnancy when people might not be sure if you are pregnant or just had a large lunch. But then you move beyond to serious bump stage, and comfort becomes key. So much so that it’s tempting to sacrifice fashion, but then you end up feel seriously frumpy. Happily, all the pieces here are completely fashionable and time tested, so you’ll feel great at every stage of pregnancy, and will hold on to your favorite pieces even after the bump becomes baby.
So what were our favorite finds? Awesome nursing tees that were anything but plain and baggy, ruched light weight sweaters in a rainbow of colors, and jeans for every body type. Oh yeah, and dresses that won’t make you look like you threw on a tent. Bonus points for a few pairs of hard to find Chewbead bracelets and necklaces.
Got your other kidlets in tow? Bring them along for the ride, and they can sit a spell on the furry white rug and play with a few toys and flip through board books. Or you can always try bribery (hey, it works) and take them for a treat at Swedish candy shop, Sockerbit, next door or for Carmela Ice Cream, further up the block.
Mom’s the Word
7952 W. 3rd Street, Mid-City Los Angeles
Phone: 323-879-9838
Online: momstheword.com
-Christina Fiedler
Moms, where is your favorite place to shop for cute comfy maternity clothes in Los Angeles? Tell us in the comments below!
