Blue’s Clues is back with a new host, Josh. Blue’s Clues & You! has a new generation of preschoolers searching for clues with their favorite puppy, Blue. Now, LeapFrog is bringing Blue’s Clues & You! to life with Blues Clues toys that help your child recreate the magic of the show.
Play & Learn Thinking Chair
The Play & Learn Thinking Chair is a great place for your preschooler to sit and solve their own game of Blue’s Clues. They can press the light-up buttons to listen to clues, music and sounds.
Really Smart Handy Dandy Notebook
The Really Smart Handy Dandy Notebook lets your child talk on the phone with Blue and Josh, check email with Mailbox and dance along to playful songs and tunes inspired by the series.
Your baby’s birth certificate. Medical records. The family’s passports. Social Security Cards. Your will or trust. Family photos and mementos. Do you know where to find them? It’s always a good idea to keep your important documents safely stored, but even more so after you have a baby. Between mombrain and lack of sleep, you may struggle more than usual to find things when you need them. And that’s where these document bags come in super handy.
If you’ve ever asked yourself what you’d grab in the event of a fire or flood at your home, here’s your answer: Grab your Secure My Legacy bag. These fire-resistant and water-resistant document bags can hold about 300 documents each and are compact and easy to take with you in an emergency. You already have enough new-mom anxiety. Give yourself the peace of mind that you have all of your documents organized and easy to find when you need them.
What It Is
Made from silicone-coated fiberglass and secured with both a zipper and VELCRO flap, each bag is large enough (11 inches by 15 inches) to hold all sorts of important documents. The company suggests storing things like a contact list, passports, financial documents, insurance papers, medical records, legal documents and family documents.
Have a lot to keep track of? Each bag is imprinted with a specific term (including Emergency, Medical, Legal, Business, Real Estate) so you can get a few and store items separately.
Why You Need One
When faced with an emergency, you don’t want to have to search for your important documents or waste time finding them them. As a new parent, you’ll want to focus on your baby, not trying to remember where you put important paperwork. If you keep all of your documents organized in these document bags, you’ll find what you need in a snap. Plus, you’ll have kept them protected from fire, water and smoke damage. And that means you’ll be able to get your life back on track more quickly.
Keep separate bags for the family’s legal papers, real estate documents, medical records and wills. Cards from Grandma, photos and newspaper clippings of dearly departed ancestors and birth mementos are also worth tucking into a bag to keep them as safe as possible.
We love the bundle that comes with one bag and a notebook for logging important information about your contacts, medications, finances and more family and household information. The notebook is key for parents who use babysitters regularly or have caregivers in the home. It ensures they’ll always have access to important information if they need it.
Life during a pandemic presents its fair share of challenges. And for those who co-parent, this can add an additional layer of difficulties. A few key tips that I’ve found useful while co-parenting in a crisis include: teamwork, always coming from a place of empathy, maintaining existing rituals, starting new ones, and above all—putting your kids first no matter what.
1. Get into Team Mode
If co-parenting was a struggle before the pandemic, this may seem like a living nightmare for some parents. In my opinion, the best thing you can do right now is to use this time to get on the same page as a united parental front. Try to leverage this hardship to be a time where you both can show that your kids are more important than the issues you both have. This will not always be smooth, but double down on trying your best.
This is a pandemic. No one knows the right move – there is no rulebook. You never know what another person is going through, so right now is a good opportunity to create a stronger relationship with your co-parent and have important conversations: What are we doing about summer? What if schools don’t reopen in September? Rally around making their lives feel as normal as possible for right now. After all, It’s you and your co-parent against the pandemic.
2. Maintain the “Co” in “Co-Parent”
My schedule as a CEO is demanding with full days of meetings, but I schedule time each day to have homework video sessions, where I handle a set of the homeschooling responsibilities. I enjoy doing homework with my kids, and their mom gets that time off to take a break. It’s a win-win.
3. Maintain Your Rituals
One ritual I’ve always shared with my kids is weekly gratitude journaling. As I tell our boys, you’ve got to be great—but you’ve also got to be grateful. Every Sunday night we write down in our book three things for which we are individually grateful. I know this is not an earth-shattering idea, but this practice has made a world of difference. It resets you and gets you prepped for the week ahead.
The things they write down can be big-ticket items like a place to live, or just the fact that they are safe and healthy. What’s helpful about writing these reflections in a notebook is that you can consult previous entries and jog your memory on truly trying days.
4. Start a Special Project
It’s important to recognize how your kids cope with change. Some of us are doing whatever we can just to make it through and stay sane, while others are thriving in a new routine. For my kids, I know they feel less anxious when we have a routine, so we decided to take this time to start a creative project. I’m a recently published author, and they’ve always taken an interest in creative writing, so we decided to start writing a children’s book about being your authentic self.
It gives them something to feel proud of and look forward to. Your project can be anything from creative writing to crafting a stand-up routine or even learning TikTok dances to show that you’re interested in their hobbies.
Hopefully, these tips can be helpful to your situation. Just like co-parenting before COVID, nothing will ever be perfect, and there will be times when things don’t feel equal or fair. Flexibility, communication, and empathy will bring the best results during a challenging time like this.
And always try to remember, even when the world is turned upside down, co-parenting is about collaboration, not competition.
Jason Harris is the Co-Founder & CEO of Mekanism, an award-winning creative advertising agency, Co-Founder of the Creative Alliance, and the nationally bestselling author of The Soulful Art ofPersuasion.
The author of the popular Notebook Doodles coloring book series is releasing a new book designed to build confidence and self-esteem in young girls. Notebook Doodles Mis Amigos Journal is a bilingual guided journal filled with charming middle school-friendly activities and prompts in both English and Spanish. From reflecting on their favorite qualities to describing memories and so much more, this journal is an excellent ESL learning opportunity for young girls while they have fun and think creatively.
According to the book’s description, “Kids will have a blast with their friends completing fun prompts like: ‘What characteristics make you a ‘great’ friend? Do you look for the same qualities in your friends?’ /’¿Qué características te hacen una ‘gran’ amiga? ¿Tratas de encontrar esas cualidades en tus amigas?’”
This book offers a perfect way to practice English as a second language, as well as develop narrative, descriptive, and compare/contrast writing skills. This journal is one of a kind and makes an excellent ESL learning opportunity for young girls.
Available Jun. 23, you can preorder this book on Amazon today.
I have a love-hate relationship with screen time. On the one hand, I depend on it to keep my kids connected to school while we shelter in place. On the other hand, I despise it when it creates grumpy monsters out of my normally pleasant offspring.
As much as I bemoan the lifeless stares that result from mindlessly absorbing video after video, today gave me a glimmer of hope for this screen-obsessed generation—stuck inside during the COVID-19 pandemic.
For the past week or so, my seven-year-old son has used his afternoon free time after completing remote learning schoolwork to watch marble races on YouTube. For a few minutes, I thought it was pretty fascinating and found myself getting drawn into the competition amongst these rolling orbs. But pretty soon I just got dizzy. My son, however, was still entranced hours later.
“Are you really still watching this?” I interrupted. “Wouldn’t it be more fun to do something in real life? You know, you do have a marble set.” And yet, when free time came the following day, he chose to go right back to those virtual marbles.
Fast forward to this week when my son asked me out of the blue, “Want me to make a list of all the countries I can think of?”
“Sure,” I said. “Sounds like fun.” Honestly, anything that gets my son excited about writing is a win these days. So, I dug his dusty notebook out from under the coffee table and said, “Go for it!”
Now, our geography “lessons” at home basically consist of the occasional fascination with Google Maps, a virtual tour of the earth from space on Earth Day (thanks to the American Museum of Natural History), and a silly video personifying states the kids discovered on BookFlix. So, I wasn’t sure where this inspiration was coming from.
Flipping through his notebook that night, I discovered the list he had made by sounding out the names of 27 countries! Where in the world did he learn all those names? (Angola…Luxembourg…Pakistan!)
Then it hit me. Those weren’t just random marbles rolling down tracks. My son was cheering his way through an entire virtual Olympic-style tournament, where each marble represented a different country. The announcer would comment on the race as statistics for each marble popped up on the leader board with the name and flag of its country.
My son’s creatively spelled country list would have been surprising on its own, but the off-line learning and playtime extensions didn’t stop there.
Next thing I knew, my son was taping and then stapling dozens of folded index cards together to make a ski-jump like ramp for races of his own. Yesterday, he unearthed our set of marble tracks and expanded his racecourse.
When he realized that his marbles had disappeared into who knows what toy bin or under which couch, my son set out to find or make his own alternative.
“Frozen peas?” I suggested.
“Those would melt!” chimed in his twin sister.
“Do we have playdough?” he pondered, not having sought it out in years.
Sure enough, we still had a bin. He rolled a few balls but discovered that they would get stuck, either from being too sticky when freshly rolled or too lumpy when dried out.
Next, he pried open a game with colorful balls that, unfortunately, turned out to be too big for the track. Amazing, he reassembled the game without any harm done.
That’s when he noticed a necklace Grandma had sent as part of a care package a few weeks back. Its beads were perfectly marble-shaped. It had served its purpose in the realm of dress-up. Now, it became an object to dissect in the name of marble racing.
When the kitchen shears wouldn’t cut though the wire linking the beads, we searched the toolbox for wire cutters with no luck. But the needle-nose pliers looked intriguing. Before long, my son had unwound coil after decorative coil and, with the help of his sister, plucked free 15 “marbles” for his project. Um…hello, practical, persistent, fine-motor, teamwork skills!
My son spent several blissful hours that afternoon building and racing and recording times on a chart he made. He even went to the extent of building a tournament bracket out of Legos, perching each round’s winning marble on the next colorful brick until one lucky marble earned the coveted spot inside a Lego trophy.
My daughter busted out her camera and filmed the races, narrating it all with play-by-play commentary. With their new-found tech savvy, the kids hooked up the camera to play the video on the TV, with the whole family gathered to watch this celebration of creativity and resourcefulness.
So, the next time I catch my kids staring at a screen, seemingly wasting their time in a zoned-out state, I won’t jump to conclusions. After all, who knows what learning adventures it will spark tomorrow?
Kristin Van de Water is a former journalist and teacher who relies on humor, faith, and her mom crew to get her through the day. Raising four kids in a two-bedroom NYC apartment, Kristin is always on the lookout for life hacks to save time, space, money, and her sanity.
Mother’s Day will be here before you know it, so it’s the perfect time to help your kiddos make a craft to show Mom how much they love her. We’ve rounded up a list of easy paper crafts that kids can make themselves, from tissue paper flowers to patterned notebooks. Read on for some serious crafting inspiration.
Grab some dried flowers and put together this sweet card from Make and Takes. Finish it off with white glue and a little drawing. To get all the details on this DIY, click here.
How cool is this personalized notebook from Sisoo?! Grab a simple notebook and origami paper, and you’ll have the perfect gift ready in no time. Best of all, it’s something Mom will happily use. To get the details on how it’s done, click here.
If you don’t have time to make an elaborate craft, this cute questionnaire from Lil’ Luna will fit the bill. Your little one can fill out facts about Mom, and then they can draw and color a one-of-a-kind picture of her. To get the printable, click here.
This kid-made book from Hello, Wonderful is guaranteed to melt Mom’s heart. The printable template includes prompts for them to write their favorite things about their mom. Get all the details by clicking here.
Professional silhouettes can be expensive, but you can actually DIY one that looks just as good, thanks to Homemade Ginger. You’ll be surprised by how easy it is—click here to get the step-by-step instructions.
We’re obsessed with this colorful and creative idea from Hello, Wonderful. Just head outside and collect spring flowers and foliage, then use them to decorate a special portrait of Mom. To get the details, click here.
We love this craft idea from B-Inspired Mama—it’s a gift that can be put to good use as a candy bowl or a trinket holder. Find out how it’s made and print out the colorful flowers by clicking here.
If you’re not the crafty type, that doesn’t mean you can’t still surprise Mom. Just print out The Bird Feed NYC’s cute card template, then let the tots fill it in with all the things they love about their mom. Grab the printable by clicking here.
Break out the paper plates to make these cute suncatchers from Kids Craft Room. With a bit of paint and some sparkles, your little artists will make a keepsake that will melt Mom’s heart. Click here to get the instructions.
Take inspiration from The Best Ideas for Kids to transform your kiddo’s handprint into a pretty butterfly card. They’re super easy to make with construction paper and a little glue. To get the instructions (plus a cute poem to include with the card!), click here.
Remind Mom she’s the best with these adorable medals from Chica Circle. You’ll have these done in no time thanks to the handy printable. Click here to get the instructions and the templates (there’s a template for the Best Grandma Ever too).
If Mom is a tea drinker, she’ll love getting a fun card inspired by In the Playroom. Made with egg cartons, pipe cleaners and her favorite tea bag, this card is sure to be a hit. Click here to get all the details.
Break out the crepe papers to make a bouquet of colorful flowers like this one from The Art of Simple. You can use pipe cleaners instead of floral wire to make it easy for the kids to take over. Click here to see the step-by-step instructions.
Try out Fun Littles’ cool and colorful take on painting for Mom. Three-pronged forks become painting utensils, so you’ll have a pretty tulip garden in no time. Get the details by clicking here.
Little ones will love making woven paper hearts like this one from Maya*Made. You can experiment with different types of material, from vintage maps to newspapers to burlap. To get all the details, click here.
For a last-minute gift, we love this easy idea from Buggy and Buddy. Kids can decorate a card with tissue paper flowers, then fill in the inside with drawings or notes for Mom. Click here to get the instructions and free printable.
It’s been seven weeks since school closed. Sometime during week one, I woke in the middle of the night and caught the teaching bug. You see, our son attends a completely play-based preschool, and therefore writing, not even letters were happening for him in the near future. So, I stepped up to the challenge and gave the whole homeschooling thing a shot. Welcome to “Mama School.”
It worked! I believe it’s still working because it dawned on me that as a parent teaching a young child, you need to have a happy medium. Our medium is “kid’s choice.” Every Friday I let my four and a half-year-old son choose every day’s subjects for the following week. Nothing is gawked at, or off-limits. We use a single black and white notebook to keep it old school, inexpensive, and most importantly, we’ll save it as our quarantine notebook and re-read it together when he’s older.
Each day’s subject is written at the top of the page in my neatest handwriting (which doesn’t say much for a leftie). We start our lesson with his re-writing of the topic just underneath mine. Poof! He’s writing and reading the letters back to me. All of the ABC songs since birth are making sense to him now, and are finally being put to work. On the first day, he chose Jupiter as our subject (you can guess what the next two week’s subjects consisted of). Today, it was sailboats! And there’s been everything in between, from sunflowers to sharks.
He sets up our “Mama School” corner with pride and I grab my laptop. We even wear special necklaces for school time—his is an acorn on a string and mine is a pinecone. They’re self-made of course. Anyway, I google the day’s subject, for example. ‘sailboats for kids’ or ‘sailboat facts for kids’ and I talk to him about the main points from the best three or four webpages. If a fact is a number, I write the number down and he re-writes it underneath. Now he’s learning more about numbers! If I need to lengthen a lesson on certain days (due to weather or my husband’s home-work schedule), I simply click on any highlighted sub-topics. It could go on forever, thanks Google!
Our lesson can fill up to two notebook pages and lasts thirty minutes to an hour. Homeschool is “scheduled” for 10 a.m. with a snack nearby for full energy and a pleasant mood (wink). It helps to break up the day and set goals surrounding it—like walking the dog together beforehand or a chore. To close our lessons he gets two rewards, one that includes a video of the subject (always a plethora of choices thanks to YouTube). And that’s how I incorporate entertainment for his only screen-time on weekdays. The other bonus is a printed coloring page of the subject. There are so many free coloring sheets and even activities for parents to choose from and print at home.
My favorite lesson to date was New York because he wanted to see where mama was from. Lots of images to show, and stories of course. He knows a bit about what’s happening in the world, so I shared some of the city’s heroic tales during this pandemic. After this week’s boat line-up, I’ve already been warned—next week we’re covering insects. Sigh!
I shared this idea with our friends and classmates in quarantine and it’s been a cool success. Some families with older siblings have even joined in on the lessons or were able to incorporate participation with their curriculum. The simplest ideas can show beautiful results. My son might remember “Mama School” forever so that potential is worth sharing on my favorite family tool, Red Tricycle.
Jenni Dawn lives just outside of Los Angeles with her husband, newly rescued dog, and four year old son. She has a background in everything Entertainment, so it makes perfect sense to cover how to entertain family at home. Jenni's also a Cancer survivor with a passion for spreading hope and prevention advocacy.
This past week, both my ladies went back to school: Preschool for Harper and law school for Lacey. Originally, I was writing a hilariously witty column about how Lacey and I were so busy that we forgot to take a picture of our daughter’s first day of preschool (yes, this is true). But, then, I realized that if we’re THIS busy, then so were our parents . . .
Which, of course, never crossed my mind until I experienced it for myself. So, I asked my mom, “How did you do it?”
“You just . . . do.” She replied. My mom isn’t exactly Socrates.
As a kid, the first day of school arrives and you’re equipped: New clothes, supplies, lunch . . . check, check, check.
Children, whether entering preschool or finishing high school, just don’t have the experience to appreciate the efforts their parents go through to make sure they have the things they need, or think they need, to succeed. At least, I didn’t.
Whether it was a marble composition notebook or “mechanical” #2 pencils, it was in my backpack. I never asked myself, or my mom, what lengths she had to go through to meet my need or request, nor did I ever entertain what kind of day she had and whether she wanted to go shopping for it.
And, just in case you’re wondering . . . I totally rocked an LL Bean backpack with my initials stitched into it, just like every other kid. Until it wasn’t cool anymore . . . then, just like every other kid, I asked my parents to buy me a JanSport backpack.
If I had a need, from school supplies to an afterschool ride, my parents saw to it that it was met.
Maybe I was spoiled. Maybe I was a brat. Maybe I was just the son of two educators . . . I don’t know.
I just know that, while I probably gave the obligatory “thank you” back then, I never fully appreciated how much my parents did. Likely, neither did you.
What makes it even worse: Back then, life was so much less convenient.
My mom couldn’t just order my school supplies on Amazon with Prime shipping. My dad couldn’t send an Uber to pick me up if he didn’t want, or wasn’t able, to give me a ride somewhere. Forget texts or emails—cellphones and tablets didn’t exist.
Parenting was done old school. And, we didn’t appreciate our parents’ efforts any more then than our children appreciate ours now.
So, while you’re preparing for your kid(s) to go back to school, raggedly running around town and feeling entirely unappreciated, take a second from being annoyed or overwhelmed and acknowledge . . . this is what parents “just do.”
Actually, take a second and give your mom or dad a call to say, “thank you.”
You’ll likely hear a chuckle on the other end. Parents always find it humorous when you can finally relate to their suffering. At least mine do.
Don’t worry, you’ll let out a chuckle, too, when your son or daughter gives you a ring in 25 years saying, “thank you” for all you did . . . and all we’re doing is ordering things on Amazon and grabbing Ubers.
Thar she blows! Ready for a whale of an adventure? Whale watching season is in full swing when the great gray whales are migrating south down the coast to Baja. As late as Apr. you can catch a glimpse of these majestic creatures by land, by sea or at a festival. Here are 3 ways your wee ones can see these gentle giants.
photo credit: Renata Kanclertz
Since your little captain goes gaga over the guppies in the pond at the park, imagine their delight when you spot a spouting 50 foot, 40 ton gray whale! And the story behind why the whales are so visible from Jan. to Apr. along the SoCal waters makes your own pregnancy discomfort memories pale—the gray whale is pregnant for a year and makes a 10,000 mile round trip journey from Alaska to Baja to deliver her 1500 pound baby. Now that’s a birthing story.
Have a Whale of a Time at the Whale Festival
The biggest festival for whales in the area is back. The Dana Point Festival of Whales takes place every Mar. when 40–50 whales pass by Dana Point each day, using the Dana Point Headland’s 200-foot cliffs as a landmark to check their migration path. On this festive weekend, you can find the perfect whale watching excursion for everyone, from several whale watching boats with tours of varying length (and price) to the opportunity to get a glimpse of these amazing mamas from land by hiking through the Headlands Conservation Park.
There are also tons of activities that entertain the kids while the whales are submerged, like a Rubber Ducky Race, Classic Car Show, Fishing Clinic, Diamond Dig (for treasure!) and more. Check the schedule of events for details.
photo: Barry Curtis/dolphinsafari.com
Hit the High Seas
If you’ve got your sea legs, the best way to see whales is to go to them. While no company can guarantee that you’ll see whales, it’s pretty much a given that if you keep peepers peeled, you will at least get up close and personal with some playful pods of dolphins and barking seals and sea lions. Most companies offer special rates for kids as well as tons of information about whale migration patterns, characteristics, and other interesting facts that will make your kid a whale expert.
Remember, when you’re on the boat, you’re stuck (in the best possible way), and there’s no turning around for snacks or jackets or anything else you might need. As always, when traveling with tots, it’s best to be prepared, and we have found these tips invaluable when sailing over the bounding main:
Bring sunscreen and layers. Sunshine reflects off the water on the most overcast of days, and even when it’s hot as blazes on land, it’s a good 20-30 degrees colder when you are on the water. Little fingers get cold; if you have ski mittens, now’s a good time to get extra use out of them.
Bring a waterproof jacket, because the spray from the ocean can get you wet.
If you’re worried about upset tummies on the water, go early. The seas tend to be calmer in the morning.
Forewarned is forearmed! Talk to the kids about all the animals they might see, so they’re as excited to see seagulls as the grays. Even in high season, you might not see a whale. But bring a notebook to record everything you do see, and treat each viewing with raptures and they won’t be disappointed. (We’ve never gone without at least seeing a load of dolphins!)
That notebook does double duty as a tic-tac-toe board or drawing pad. Bring it and/or something else to entertain the youngest members of your expedition who can get bored if there’s a long stretch with no sightings.
Landlubbers, Unite!
You’re the type that glamps, not camps, and your idea of a nautical adventure is Ralph Lauren boat shoes. Rocking is for chairs, not the deck you walk on. We’ve got two spots where you never have to leave land to catch sight of enough whales to satisfy Ahab.
Elegance with Mimosas & Sea Mammals
If hotels were sea creatures, Terranea would Moby Dick. It’s the big one, the one that stands out from the crowd. Years ago, the area was home to the largest oceanarium in the world, but now it’s the lap of luxury. It’s also a front-row seat to the migration show where you can lap up food and drinks while you peruse the pacific for the great grays. Here’s how we play it: park in the lot (for a fee) and explore the walking trails post-brunch. Keep your eye on the water—whales swim right past the point.
photo: Rancho Palos Verdes Parks & Recreation Department
Point to the Point
If your budget or timeline doesn’t allow for a hotel trip, grab your binoculars and follow the trails to Point Vicente Lighthouse. Right next door, you’ll find the Point Vicente Interpretive Center, one of the best shoreline spots for whale watching. It’s so good, in fact, that it’s where the Los Angeles chapter of the American Cetacean Society conducts its annual whale migration census. Every day from December to May, trained volunteers record the number, species and behavior of migrating whales, so you’ll find loads of people who can answer your budding mammologists questions.
Can’t squeeze a whale watching adventure into your packed spring schedule? (We get it! It’s t-ball to tutu’s all weekend, all spring.) May brings the start of the big blue whale season with the warmer waters.
We’d love to hear your tips for spotting these magnificent creatures! Let us know where and how you go whale watching.
Active mindfulness is the practice of being aware of your body, mind, surroundings, and emotional state. By being actively mindful, life becomes simpler and easier to navigate—the more practiced you are at active mindfulness, the easier it is to access these tools under duress. That means when life throws stressors your way, being actively mindful allows you to minimize their impact and process your feelings, all while improving communication. This is particularly helpful for your closest relationships, as those are the ones most easily impacted by external factors such as job stress or fatigue.
Research has proven that active mindfulness makes you a better, calmer, happier person—for both you and your partner. These improvements come when you and your partner work at making behavioral changes, improving communication, and building towards a better relationship. Success doesn’t require perfection, simply effort. Effort is everything, as repetition leads to forming positive habits. Through regular practice of active mindfulness, your brain chemistry changes, hard-wiring your ability to actively improve your relationship.
So, how do you achieve active mindfulness? There are many different techniques, and much of it comes down to trial and error regarding what works best for you. The following four techniques are some of the most common—and most effective:
Breathe: Seems easy enough, right? Just breathe. Take a few breaths, or take ten breaths. If you’re stressed and having trouble concentrating, then breathe. If you’re in an argument with your partner, then breathe—in fact, encourage your partner to breathe with you. Taking some time to breathe offers a physiological benefit and a practical benefit. When you breathe, it activates the pathways between the body’s breathing mechanism and the brain’s areas of emotional regulation. From a practical perspective, taking a minute or two to breathe removes you from the immediate situation for a little bit of perspective. In the heat of a contentious battle with your partner, having the awareness to take a moment and breathe can lead back to connection much faster—and probably to a solution as well.
Actively Listen: When arguing with your partner, it’s really easy to think about a response even before they finish what they’re saying. We all fall into this trap, and it takes mindfulness to sense that urge, stop it before it happens, and instead acknowledge what they’re saying before offering your response. Actively listening to your partner, whether in a meaningful conversation or heated argument, does wonders to strengthen your relationship. First of all, it will make your partner feel heard. That type of validation makes everyone feel better. Second, it will also allow your own brain to properly process what your partner is saying, ensuring that you two are on the same page going forward.
Assess Your Current State: Many different things can impact your ability to think clearly and keep your emotions from getting the better of you. Did you get a good night’s sleep? Have you eaten lately? Are you jittery from too much caffeine? All of these factors can impact your mood and your thought process, and that in turn can elevate a simple interaction with your partner into a larger source of irritation. Using active mindfulness, you can understand where your body’s current state is at, and if you have any important topics to discuss with your partner, try to bring your body back into balance before doing so. Similarly, if your partner seems particularly irritable, try to assess their state. Recognizing these things in each other and opening a dialogue about them will strengthen your ability to communicate with each other.
Journal: Journaling is a bit of a lost art form in our modern era of bite-sized social media blasts. This is a shame because it’s one of the most helpful and therapeutic ways to stay mindful of your feelings, your stressors, and your day-to-day life. There’s no right or wrong way to journal, as long as you try to do it with some regularity and simply get the words out there—and the more you do it, the easier it’ll feel. The best part is that modern technology allows us to journal anywhere and everywhere. With smartphones, you can use any number of apps for collecting your own thoughts, from journaling apps to voice recorders. Any method works, as long as you take a moment to reflect on yourself—though if you do go the old-fashioned route of pen and notebook, physically writing things down activates parts of your brain that involve memory and information processing. As you become more self-aware, you’ll be a better communicator. In fact, you can even suggest dedicated journaling time with your partner as a couples’ activity.
Mindfulness Benefits Parenting Too
All of the above techniques improve communication, awareness, and empathy in relationships. They also work directly in parent-child relationships and also deliver a second benefit. When you use active mindfulness during moments with your child, you’ll see the immediate impact in a stronger relationship but you’ll also be modeling this type of self-regulatory behavior for your child. This builds a foundation within them to normalize these techniques themselves and understand their value in friendships and romantic partnerships. Simply put, when you’re actively mindful, everyone wins.
Lesley Eccles is the Founder and CEO of Relish, the first-ever truly customized relationship training app that makes it easy to build a happy, healthy, more connected relationship with your partner. She is also a mother to three beautiful children.
