Take a Dip! 6 Parks Made for Splashing

by Meghan Yudes MeyersApril 27, 2021

The weather is warm and the sun is shining. Get some fresh air and catch some vitamin D while checking out one of these parks with creeks and rivers for some splashing fun with your whole gang. Pack up a picnic blanket, sunblock and towels for a fun day in the great outdoors.

Editor’s note: Due to COVID-19 regulations, park access and closures are subject to change. Check park websites for updates before planning your visit.

Catoctin Creek Park & Nature Center

three children creek stomping in Virginia — Toddlin' Across America

Take a leisurely hike down to Pebble Beach, and get ready to do some old fashioned creek stomping. Stop by a shade-drenched picnic table for a quick snack on your way down to the water. When your kiddos are all splashed out, head over to the musical instrument garden and play a few tunes.

2929 Sumantown Rd.
Middletown, MD 21769
Online: recreater.com

Elizabeth Mills Riverfront Park

three children climbing on rocks near river in Virginia — Toddlin' Across America

Just try and keep your little ones from climbing the rocks sprawled across this riverfront locale. Or don't, because this wading area is fun for all ages. Don't be put off by the stroll through the golf course. It is worth the walk to enjoy some time in the chilly river water.

44105 Heron Way
Lansdowne, VA 20176
Online: loudoun.gov

Blue Ridge Center for Environmental Stewardship

Step back in time as you step into a flowing stream. Take the Farmstead Loop, the center's signature hiking trail. Just over a mile long, the path is perfect for the whole family. Once a road through a 19th-century farming community, this scenic trail passes by multiple historic structures, Wortman Pond (great for splashing), and Piney Run.

11661 Harpers Ferry Rd.
Purcellville, VA 20132
Online: blueridgecenter.org

C&O Canal Towpath

What is the towpath, exactly? The towpath is the dirt and stone path that runs 184.5 miles along the C&O Canal, where families can walk, run, or bike the distance between Georgetown and Cumberland, MD, but we prefer the stop in Point of Rocks, MD. The Potomac River's view is beautiful, so beautiful that you won't be able to resist a little toe-dipping.

Point of Rocks, MD
Online: nps.gov

Terrapin Nature Area

You won't want to miss these spectacular views of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge and some prime splashing on the sandy beaches. This award-winning 276-acre nature park features a 3.25-mile oyster chaff walking trail that meanders through wildflower meadows, wetlands, tidal ponds and woodlands. Keep an eye out for lots of creatures and critters too.

191 Log Canoe Circle
Stevensville, MD 21666
Online: qac.org

Potomac Heritage Trail

About a mile in, you'll discover an awesome pool and little waterfall perfect for some afternoon water fun. Enjoy a few creek crossings along the way too. This is a great option when you don't want to travel too far out of the city.

The Mouth of Pimmit Run & Pimmit Run
and Chain Bridge Historical Makers
McLean, VA
Online: nps.gov

Worth the Drive: Cool Spring Preserve

Consider crossing state lines for this one because it is worth the extra miles. The crystal clear creek isn't the main attraction here. Your little ones will be all about the natural playspace before the splashing begins. Head to the stream to cool off after some tree stump and spider web rope climbing.

1469 Lloyd Rd
Charles Town, WV 25414
Online: potomacaudubon.org

—Meghan Yudes Meyers, Angelica Kajiwara and Nella DuBon-Koch

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5 Things Every Special Needs Parent Should Hear

By Tabitha Cabrera

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

April 17, 2021

Are you walking into a new world of special needs parenting for the first time? Are you a few years in and finding things hard to manage right now? Or are you the parent who has walked this path and is now looking ahead at what services are there for your child’s future? Here are some gems of advice that I have received from others who have walked this path alongside me and before me—plus some of my own.

1. Advocacy can come in many forms.
If you are the loud and proud mama or papa bear walking into an IEP meeting or evaluation asking all the questions and expecting answers, that is the perfect way to do it. If you are the parent who is searching the internet looking for all the studies and best practices to be prepared to walk into each meeting with statistics and sites behind you, that is wonderful. If you are a quiet parent finding their voice behind the forms, appointments, and recommendations who reach out to others for support, it is just right to bring those voices with you.

What I have learned along the way from others is you can have a combination of these advocacy approaches at different times when different emotions are flowing. No matter how you lift yourself up and fight the good fight, that is what is right for today.

2. Talking about all the feelings that come with parenting is ok.
As parents, we often feel that speaking about the dark and hard is shameful. Others aren’t feeling the way you are because you haven’t had someone open up to you about it yet. We sit in feelings of guilt, sorrow, sadness, feelings of failure, and overwhelming tasks. These feelings do not overshadow the joy, love, happiness, and bliss that comes with parenting, so it is ok to talk about them.

Not only is parenting a challenge on some days, but special needs parenting comes with so many additional challenges. I never wanted to feel lost in the what-ifs, hows, or whys but it is natural to feel that way at certain points. The commercial idea of parenting found in parenting magazines can feel defeating and unrealistic. Please share your story with others because there for sure is a parent sitting behind a closed door waiting to hear that they are not alone.

3. Take in the wins, celebrate each accomplishment, and honor the hard work.
As special needs parents, we sit with therapists, teachers, and even family members as they highlight the perceived deficiencies in our children. We watch each minute of practice and hard work to hold a fork, brush teeth, recognize words, speak a sentence, communicate needs, and so much more. Our family circles in the celebration with each accomplishment to fight off the mountain of forms, saying that our children might be able to accomplish these things. We shout with joy because these are the true heartfelt moments of parenting magnified by time waited and hours practiced.

Not only do we honor the hard work, but we absorb it as our own accomplishment alongside our children, because what parent doesn’t feel pride when celebrating their child’s accomplishments. Autism has given us the ability to slow things down, to watch the accomplishments that others take for granted, and circle our children in celebration.

4. Have a “tap out” word or phrase.
When you are feeling at your brink, when the noise is too much, when the systems are too much, and when you can imagine your feelings pouring out of your body onto the floor in front of you, have a tap-out word. Ask for help sometimes; it’s ok to say today has been too much, I need to go to bed early, I need to take a walk, or I need to eat a mountain of cake alone in the dark in my pajamas (this may be directly from my own experience).

Special needs parents are human, we all have our moments where we need to just tap out. If you have a person who can do that for you in your life, don’t let the feelings of guilt come along with it. By taking a break, you are honoring not only yourself but your family, too. The fresh perspective you will come back to parenting with after a break might be just what you need to shift the energy around you.

5. Watch, learn, and grow.
From the one and only Busta Rhymes, “If you don’t know, now you know.” Every day we are learning from our experiences. What is behind us shapes where we are headed. Learn as much as you can from your children. Take them in as much as possible. Even if they are in a dumping stage and everything from a bowl or plate lands on the floor, rub it into the carpet with them sometimes. I knew nothing about autism before our children’s diagnoses. I didn’t know the correct terminology, what was offensive to others, or what therapy would work best for them. I am still learning all the ins and outs of this world, and I am grateful for all the information out there. I am growing as a person and I hope to take in as many perspectives as possible.

Tabitha Cabrera

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Tabitha Cabrera, lives in Arizona with her husband, and two beautiful children. She works as an Attorney and enjoys spending her time in a public service role. The family loves nature and ventures outdoors as much possible. Come check out her little nature babies

The System Is Failing Our Autistic Adults

By Laurie Hellmann

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

April 14, 2021

photo: Jesús Rodríguez via Unsplash

The month of April is notoriously known for bringing awareness to autism. I am a huge proponent of using this monthly platform to educate about the sad realities for autistic adults and the overwhelming need for autism acceptance and inclusion.

All parents have hopes and dreams for their children. My plans and expectations for Skyler’s life began before he was even born.

Would he be a star athlete, high achieving student always on the honor roll, musically inclined, or even better, an exceptional friend to everyone he meets.

Of course, I daydreamed about Skyler’s career path too. Perhaps he’d love the law like his mother and become an attorney. Maybe he’d find true joy being an engineer, doctor, contractor or salesman.

As his name reveals, and I’d always say, “Sky’s the limit for my boy.”

Six months into parenting, assuming I was nailing it like a pro, imagine the shock and confusion I felt hearing that my beautiful son had autism.

Immediately following the diagnosis, I received very limited information because “much is still unknown about the cause, treatment options, financial support available and future prognosis for those with ASD.” Not to mention, each child with autism is completely unique, so each family will travel a different path along their journey.

As I was sent on my way with a few generic pamphlets and a bill for the office visit, I was forced to dramatically shift from everything I thought I knew about parenting and had to accept my new reality.

I thought, “He’s only three. If I remain steadfast on getting him into every therapy and early intervention I can find, surely, he will be afforded every chance to experience the same things as his peers when the time comes—employment, self-advocacy and independent living.”

I knew autism would impact the pace of his development but never did I give up on preparing Skyler for the incredible future that he deserved.

I always assumed I had plenty of time.

And just like that, in the blink of an eye, Skyler turns 18-years-old next week. Believe me, when I tell you, I’m still in complete disbelief. I’m not ready…I need more time.

I desperately try not to dwell on the harsh realities of life for a non-verbal, severely autistic adult. I always assumed that, by the time Skyler was an adult, things would have drastically improved.

Sadly, the old stigmas still exist.

It’s often assumed that upon turning the page from childhood to adulthood, all learning potential has stopped and therefore, the need for continued support, programs, funding and educational resources is a moot point.

Autism is not something a person outgrows nor is there a magic age where new skills and progress are no longer achievable.

Acceptance and coming to terms with an uncertain adult future for Skyler has remained the hardest concept for me to grasp and keeps me awake at night.

The fact is, not all autistic adults are alike. Some talk, some don’t. Some drive, some don’t. Some can advocate for themselves, others cannot.

As Skyler officially becomes an adult, I feel as though I’m back in that medical office receiving a second autism diagnosis—but this time, there’s not a single pamphlet on how to navigate adulthood within a system that’s broken. I’m frightened and angrier knowing that Skyler is now among the older autistic population that is forgotten about and disregarded.

According to the CDC, as of April 2020, an estimated 5.4 million adults in the United States have autism.

Sadly, the federal requirement for providing supportive services in adulthood does not exist! The avoidance and refusal to address this issue, at both state and federal levels, which affects a rapidly growing population of adults on the spectrum, is a travesty.

For families like mine, who support a loved one with autism, our daily fight advocating for services, resources and equality lasts for the entirety of our child’s life and likely beyond my own lifetime.

While I appreciate the demonstration of solidarity as the world “lights up blue” on Apr. 2nd for World Autism Awareness Day, I can’t help but think, what we truly need instead is acknowledgment that the opportunities for our adults on the spectrum to thrive in this country are lacking and we need action taken.

It’s critical that entire communities everywhere stand together and demand assistance, support and change for all autistics—not just for those under the age of 21.

The Autism Society of America recognizes that the prevalence of autism in the United States has risen from 1 in 125 children in 2010 to 1 in 59 in 2020!

Clearly, this rapid increase in newly diagnosed children also translates into a growing adult autistic population.

Therefore, the goal for Autism Acceptance Month should be twofold:

1. To further increase understanding and awareness about autism signs and symptoms.
2. Invest time, energy and funding toward creating community partnerships with businesses and organizations dedicated to building inclusive experiences for all age groups.

So, I encourage you to join me, not just for the month of April but year-round, to #CelebrateDifferences. Let’s use our voices to generate change.

Laurie Hellmann

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

I'm the mom to an 18 year old son with severe autism, a neurotypical teen daughter & have an incredibly supportive husband! I authored a memoir - Welcome to My Life: A Personal Parenting Journey Through Autism & host the podcast Living the Sky Life. Visit my website www.LaurieHellmann.com to learn more about me!

Favorite Kid-Friendly Waterfall Hikes in LA

by Andie HuberMarch 31, 2021

Believe it or not, waterfalls do exist in Los Angeles. From quick and easy beginner treks to more adventurous trails, these family-friendly waterfall hikes in SoCal are almost out-of-this-world (or at least out of the dry, desert-like climate we’ve come to know and love). Pro Tip: To make your waterfall hike as enjoyable and memorable as possible, go early to beat any crowds.

Escondido Falls: Malibu

This 150-foot, multi-tiered waterfall is the highest waterfall in the Santa Monica Mountains but that doesn't mean it's tough to get to. This is an easy, flat trail (it begins on the road so stay on the clearly marked path for safety) and allows hikers of all ages to enjoy dipping their toes in the cool, refreshing water. Expect to hop over some creek beds, maybe scuttle over a boulder or two and climb some low hanging branches during the journey—there's just enough along the trail to keep it interesting for the little ones for the 3.8-mile roundtrip journey.

Parking: $12 to park at the lot on Winding Way East, just off Pacific Coast Hwy. Follow the clearly marked path to the trailhead (you'll need to walk along the road before heading into the wooded park).

Insider Tip: The parking lot is small and the trail is popular, so plan to get there early. Don't forget to bring water shoes for stomping around the water and creek beds.

27200 Winding Way
Malibu
Online: mrca.ca.gov

Eaton Canyon Falls: Altadena

Located inside this 190-acre park, a 40-foot waterfall with a wading area beckons at the end of the easy 3-mile shady trail but there are loads of highlights along the way, including a nature center with interesting exhibits.

Parking: Free but the lots fill up quickly.

Insider Tip: You need to go under the bridge to access the waterfall so make sure to bring water shoes so you (and the little ones) can enjoy the water. The biggest complaint about this hike is usually how crowded it can be but during COVID, reservations and a photo ID are required. No same-day reservations or walk-ins are allowed.

1750 North Altadena Dr.
Pasadena
Online: ecnca.org

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Solstice Canyon: Malibu

In the Santa Monica Mountains, off the Pacific Coast Hwy, Solstice Canyon offers stunning vistas, architectural relics, the “Darth Vader” House (you’ll know it when you see it), and oh yeah, a 30-foot waterfall. If you’re feeling ambitious and brought plenty of sunscreen, we recommend heading up the small staircase near the park entrance to the Rising Sun Trail which meanders along the mountain crest with spectacular views of the vast blue ocean below. This trail then connects with the shady and mostly paved Solstice Canyon trail for a 3.2-mile loop.

From the Rising Sun Trail, you can descend down a steep-ish hill to Tropical Terrace, a once famously hip Malibu mansion that burned down in a fire in 1982, leaving, well, actual ruins in a very Malibu style. No, you won’t find Mayan stone calendars predicting the end of the world, but the less ancient Tropical Terrace is pretty cool. From there, follow the narrow rock step to a small waterfall just north of the mansion.

Parking: The free parking here fills up FAST (read: by 9:30 a.m.) but you can drive about 1/4 mile up Corral Canyon Rd. to a dirt turnout where parking is permitted.

Insider Tip: The Solstice Canyon trail is also a great out-n-back option for toddling hikers and babies on wheels, making it the only stroller-friendly waterfall hike we’ve met.

3455 Solstice Canyon Rd.
Malibu
Online: nps.gov/solsticecanyon

Monrovia Canyon Park Waterfall Trail: Monrovia

UPDATE: Due to the Bobcat Fire, this park is closed indefinitely. Please refer to the website for the most up-to-date information.

Tucked away in the San Gabriel Mountains, just ten minutes off the 210 Freeway, Monrovia Canyon Park has 80 acres worth of nature to explore and is one of the least known (translation: least crowded) of our local cascade destinations. There are three options for hikers: The shortest route to the 30-foot falls is via the Nature Center (just .75 miles from the waterfall) with ample parking. If you think your kids can handle a longer hike (but not the longest) stop at the middle lot for a one-mile trek. And if you really want to experience the full monty (and know your kids can handle it) park at The Bill Cull trailhead at the park entrance that will take you along a shady 1.7-mile path to the falls.

A total fairyland canopy of oak trees, big leaf maple, and sycamores make this a good hike for any time of day. Best of all, your little nymphs and monkeys will have so much fun swinging from the low-hanging branches that wind along the trail they’ll forget they’re on an h-i-k-e. (Shhh: we won’t tell if you don’t.)

Insider Tip: The park is open from 8 a.m.-5 p.m. with a $5 entry fee on weekdays, $6 on weekends and holidays. There are a few minor stream crossings and narrow passes making strollers cumbersome.

1200 N Canyon Blvd.
Monrovia
Online: cityofmonrovia.org

Sturtevant Falls: Arcadia

UPDATE: Due to the Bobcat Fire, this trail is closed indefinitely. Please refer to the website for the most up-to-date information.

Ranked as the most challenging of our cascade escapades at 3.3 miles, the out-n-back Sturtevant Falls trail in the San Gabriel Mountains is still family-friendly with a mostly flat and shady trail. Along the way, you'll pass a string of quaint cabins built in the 1900s, some that are available to rent. (Visit the website for more information). There are three modest water crossings, perfect for rock-hoppers of all ages.

This stunning 50-foot waterfall plunges into a shallow pool that the kiddos can actually wade around in...if they can stand the freezing temperature.

Parking: Thanks to the area's popularity, it's a bit of a bear no matter what time you arrive. Stop in the parking lot anyway to pick up the $5 adventure pass at the pack station—it’s required to park anywhere—and head back down Santa Anita Canyon Rd. to find a spot.

Insider Tip: The trail starts at Chantry Flats and descends down a .6 mile paved road that you'll have to trudge back up on the way out. Also, strollers won't be happy crossing streams, but we've seen plenty of baby carriers, backpacks, and slings ambling through these parts.

Chantry Flats Rd. & Angeles National Forest
Arcadia
Online: angelesnationalforest.gov

–Jennifer Wolfe & Andie Huber

featured photo: Melissa Smith via flickr

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You Are Forever Loved

By Ali Flynn

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

March 31, 2021

Photo: Ali Flynn

Sweet girl, can I tell you a few secrets?

You are forever loved and cherished for being you.

Your giggle is imprinted on my soul.

You may feel lost at times, finding your way, but hold on tight and have the confidence to know your path will be revealed.

Your perseverance is admirable and forces me to reach towards my goals.

You are my first born and my first true love.

The first moment I held you, I lost my breath with sheer joy.

You radiate positivity and I pray you continue this throughout your life journey.

Your smile is infectious and one not to be judged or quieted down.

Your words need to be heard.

Your unique self is perfect just as it is.

Your strong will is admirable and makes me realize you are equipped to take on the world.

You, my girl, are one of life’s greatest blessings.

You. Me. Us. We.

Always connected. Forever bonded. Continuously loving one another.

This post originally appeared on Hang in there mama by Ali Flynn.

Ali Flynn

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Ali Flynn Is excited to share with you the joys and hardships of motherhood with an open heart, laughter and some tears. Ali is a monthly guest contributor for Westchester County Mom and has been seen on Filter Free Parents, Grown and Flown, Today Parents and Her View From Home.

Spectacular Waterfall Trails to Hit Now

by Maura O'BrienMarch 1, 2021

Shake off the summer heat with an awesome adventure filled with dense woodlands, volcanic ridges, and a rushing cascade (or two). From the Columbia River Gorge to the Cascade Mountain foothills, the following are six of our favorite waterfall hikes, all located within sixty miles of the Portland area. Whether you’re looking for a level, stroller-friendly path or a dazzling misty payoff, these trails will give you just the experience you need to shake off the COVID blues. Read on for all the details.

photo: Carrie Uffindell

Pothole Falls at Lacamas Lake Park

For a quick hike in the metro area, head to 312-acre Lacamas Lake Park. At the play area, follow the gravel path circling the lake through the trees. Nestled a short distance off the main trail is the falls, named for the round holes punched into the rock. An unexpected highlight is the fish screen and dam, located on the south side of the lake. With several sections of moderately steep terrain, this walk isn’t suitable for strollers. Make a day of it with visits the park’s other two waterfalls, also located off the main loop.

Pandemic Status: Open
Round-trip distance: 1.2 mile (Round Lake Loop)
When You Go: Free. The park is located 15 miles east of Vancouver, WA off Highway 14. Spots in front fill up fast, so look for the large overflow lot at the north end..

Munson Creek Falls

The short, winding path – perfect for little legs – follows along the creek to an impressive 319-foot tumbler, the tallest in the Coast Range. The protected site, located south of Tillamook, is a 62-acre timber-turned-natural area, so be sure to enjoy the old-growth western red cedar, moss-draped maples, wildflowers, and other flora and fauna along the way. In late fall and winter, the waters are home to spawning salmon.

Pandemic status: Park is open dawn to dusk with reduced services.
Round-trip distance: 0.6 miles, out and back
When You Go: Free. From Portland, take Highway 26 west approximately 77 miles. Turn left on Munson Creek Road. Note: Parking is limited and no restrooms are available.

Silver Falls State Park

Peek behind a 177-foot torrent of water at this 9,200-acre Oregon park, situated in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains. Of the ten waterfalls sprinkled throughout the park, South Falls is one of the most accessible – and dramatic – for families. From the South Falls lot, follow the main path (and the sound of rushing water) past the lodge to a viewpoint above. From there, descend 400 feet to explore a cave behind the falls. For the full 2.6-mile loop, continue on to Lower South Falls. Or, for a shorter 1-mile walk, return via the scenic bridge.

Pandemic status: Expect reduced services. No showers. Camping reservations required (no walk-ins). Day-use visitors should plan to turn around if parking lots are full.
Round-trip distance: 2.6-mile (Maple Ridge Loop)
When You Go: $5/vehicle. Head south some 55 miles to Silverton. From Silverton, take Highway 214 almost 16 miles south until you reach the park. Follow the signs to the South Falls Day Use Area.

photo: Chi T. via yelp

Multnomah Falls

One of the the most popular waterfalls hikes in the Gorge. This 611-foot-tall roaring force of nature lets visitors get up close and personal with its power. According to Native American lore, Multnomah Falls was created to win the heart of a young princess who wanted a hidden place to bathe. And this spot is magical. This hike can be made shorter or longer as there are multiple tiers that offer different views. Each is spectacular, but the lower hike is more appropriate for families with younger children or elderly grandparents.

Pandemic status: Open
Round-trip distance: A moderate, 2.2-mile hike with 700 feet of elevation gain to the top of Multnomah Falls, or a difficult 5.4-mile loop to Wahkeena Falls with 1,600 feet of elevation gain.

featured image: Jonathon L. via yelp

—Annette Benedetti

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Wilmer Valderrama & Amanda Pacheco Announce Arrival of Baby Girl

by Erica LoopFebruary 22, 2021

Actor Wilmer Valderrama and fiance model Amanda Pacheco recently welcomed their first child on Feb. 15!

Valderrama recently posted pics of the pair with their newborn daughter on Instagram. The photo followed a sweet Valentine’s Day post, in which the actor wrote to his love, “Don’t worry about giving me Chocolates, you’re giving me a little miracle Chimichanga!”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Wilmer Valderrama (@wilmervalderrama)

The new dad recently turned the big 4-1 and celebrated with a sweet IG toast post to his fiance, “Now THIS is 41.. thank you to absolutely everyone who posted and send me such beautiful messages and wishes.. by the look of these pics.. some of those wishes came true.. I love you all mucho! Thank you Amanda for my last bday gift before becoming a papa… you.”

Along with the newborn photos of his baby daughter, Valderrama announced the birth with a sweet sentiment saying, “Life is an ever evolving journey, and for all those times when our path needs a light.. often angels are sent to show us the way and that we can be more.. straight out of heaven we welcome our first daughter…” and added the hashtag #ItsJustUs3Now.

Celebs such as Eva Longoria, Gabrielle Union-Wade, and Mandy Moore flocked to IG to congratulate the couple on the birth of their new daughter!

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Tinseltown via Shutterstock

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Finally Piecing the Puzzle Together

By Laurie Hellmann

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

February 5, 2021

Have you ever purchased a very challenging jigsaw puzzle just for the sheer joy and feeling of accomplishment you’ll get once you’ve successfully assembled it? The larger the number of pieces the better right?

As I stare at those 5,000 pieces dumped onto my countertop and begin sorting and flipping them over, it becomes overwhelming that each individual piece doesn’t tell me anything about the completed picture.

Where do I start? Is the best method for success gathering the corner and edge pieces to form an outline or should I begin dead center and work my way out? It’s hard to comprehend how those thousands of random shapes will fit together to reveal something unique and beautiful—but it always does.

The Autism Puzzle
To me, parenting a child on the autism spectrum resembles that same overwhelming feeling of uncertainty and chaos of scattered puzzle pieces everywhere—which is ironic because the puzzle piece is one of the internationally recognized symbols of autism.

Not knowing where to begin when you can’t easily link together the ‘normal’ pieces of development because those milestones are delayed. You begin to question every intuition and gut feeling you have.

Maybe I’m overreacting.

I’ve gone through the ‘autism characteristics’ checklist and can’t confidently say that’s what I’m seeing.

Our pediatrician doesn’t seem concerned.

Traditionally, parents wait lengthy periods of time for a specialist to shed some light as to what is specifically wrong with their child. We waited over a year.

As our coveted appointment finally arrived, I was cautiously optimistic but ultimately ill-prepared for the matter of fact, uncaring tone by which the autism diagnosis was doled out.

Like rapid-fire, I was told ‘severe autism’ and ushered out of the office with nothing more than a label, an infinite number of unanswered questions, and a grim prognosis for the future.

I know children don’t come with instructions; however, autism families deserve a pamphlet at the very least as minimal preparation for the many challenges that come with raising a child on the spectrum. I would’ve done cartwheels had someone outlined some of the most impactful behavior calming tips, tricks for introducing new foods, or strategies to encourage communication!

Forging Our Own Communication Path
It’s through observation, mimicking, and basic instinct that most children will learn to utter new words and phrases, yet my son lacks those innate capabilities.

Since the well-paved path to a tried-and-true communication plan was (and still is) non-existent, I read every book, tried every therapy, and invested in each method of intervention available back in 2006 with the sole focus on finding my son’s voice.

Sadly, one medical ‘breakthrough’ after another, touting unrealistic promises and guarantees for success, exploited my desperation and left me emotionally and physically devastated.

Then one day it hit me hard. Is the only form of acceptable communication the spoken word? The answer is a hard NO!

He’s already worked extremely hard to be part of a world that makes no sense to him—one that often misunderstands and judges him unfairly, so why would I spend another minute trying to cram his perfectly created individual piece of society into a neurotypical puzzle that he doesn’t fit into?

I need to meet him where he is and learn from his cues. My son was communicating with me with his hands and eyes and has been extremely patient while waiting for me to take notice.

Trust the Process
It has taken years, 16 to be exact, for me to fully appreciate the beauty and lessons found in the differences between my son and his neurotypical peers.

While autism presents like a puzzle, my amazing and intriguing experience has come from learning to help my son assemble his unique pieces in a timeframe and process determined by him. I recognize that his puzzle may take longer to construct, but I will no longer force pieces together that just don’t fit.

Only then can I fully see the masterpiece of him—what he thinks, believes, and enjoys. A unique puzzle unlike anyone else’s in the world.

Life Lessons from a Jigsaw Puzzle
Throughout our life, we are presented with daily opportunities to gather more pieces to contribute to our own individual puzzle. We have no idea how our experiences today are going to mold us and shape us to fit into our completed lifetime picture.

Being autistic does not devalue or diminish my son’s contributions to this world.

We don’t all have to be the same—where we look, walk, talk, think and learn similarly. Of those 5,000 pieces scattered across my countertop, not one is identical but they work together to make the completed product that much more spectacular.

What an incredible feeling of satisfaction when the pieces perfectly slide together—just as they were meant to all along.

Laurie Hellmann

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

In Search of Alone Time

By Ali Flynn

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

February 5, 2021

Photo: Ali Flynn

Having four teenage girls, all in high school, you can imagine I am rarely by myself and if I happen to be, it is usually to use the restroom, shower, or on my way home after driving one of them to a friend’s house.

But last week I went snowshoeing alone…Deep in the woods.

Alone.

It took me some time to settle in and stop worrying a bobcat was going to jump out and attack me, but I kept moving forward.

Step by step, I gained more confidence and left my fears behind.

Alone…for the first time in a long time.

So there I was, alone in the woods.

Alone with my deepest thoughts.

Alone with the quiet and the sunlight peeking through the trees creating the most glorious shadows.

So as I walked along, listening to the crunching beneath my feet, I recognized that I truly wasn’t alone and an inner peace embraced me.

There I was, trudging through the pathway of white, in all of my fullness.

This alone time was a gift as I was wrapping myself up in self-love and providing a space to reflect and grow.

Who knew just a short three-mile snowshoeing trek could open up my heart to hearing and seeing new parts of myself.

Who knew the quiet and solitude would allow inner conversations to emerge and come to light.

And who knew being alone could feel so magical after so many years of always having my girls near me.

But maybe that’s it right there…

Maybe being alone is exactly what I needed in order to find more growth within… to strive to be a better mom and to think through things, really think, not the kind of thinking that gets done in-between loads of laundry and emptying the dishwasher.

And what I realized was this…

I am blessed to never feel alone, even when one set of footprints, my own, trails behind in the snow. There may be one set of footprints but this mama of four will always see her family of six walking alongside her, even when alone. The six sets of footprints trailing behind and next to me is a blessing today and all the days moving forward.

There is no doubt the love and support of my family encourages, inspires, and moves me along as the footprints behind keep me company.

So all of this alone time got me thinking.

My eldest will be making her trek along a new path when she embarks on her college journey in the fall.

She may have moments where she feels alone.

She may feel alone on the evenings her dorm room is quiet and miss our bustling home, filled with high pitched laughter, screams of frustration, and some tears.

She may feel alone as she walks across a campus busy with other students, and miss those quiet moments holding her sister’s hand.

She may feel alone when she grabs a quick granola bar on the way to class rather than sharing her to-do list with me, as she looks on while I make her an egg sandwich.

But maybe being alone is just what she needs…

Maybe being alone allows the quiet to seep in while recalling the billowing laughter that wrapped her up each day in love.

Maybe being alone allows a sense of solitude to embrace her soul while remembering a sense of peace from each hug.

But as this heart of mine gets used to being more alone amongst the world of raising teenagers, I can only wish for my sweet girl to also know, even on the days she feels alone, there are always six sets of footprints trailing behind, supporting every path she embarks on.

Our family footprints will forever trail behind each and every one of us, making imprints along our unique paths of life.

Ali Flynn

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

10 Afterschool Activities for Kids That Need Action!

By Michelle Worth

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

January 18, 2021

Photo: Shutterstock

It’s 4 p.m. and you finally close the laptop as your child’s virtual school day ends. Or, maybe your child physically went to school today but had limited time at the playground. And it shows. They need action!

Physical activity helps a child stay regulated (process and adjust to their environment) and promotes the maturation of their nervous system. Due to the Coronavirus pandemic, it is even more important to make children’s physical wellbeing a priority to combat the potential negative effects on their physical, social, and psychological health. Physical activity in children is even associated with higher academic performance!

These top 10 afterschool activities are perfect for getting the wiggles out of your kids, no matter what materials or space you have!

1. Obstacle Course
Give your child a minimum of 3 to 4 steps. Get creative with what you have at home (both indoors and outdoors) when coming up with tasks at each “station”. A few ideas to start with: throw balls into a laundry basket, do 10 jumping jacks, jump in and out of a hoola-hoop, crawl under chairs. Try getting your child to complete as much of the course as independently as they can. Challenge them to remember each step in the sequence (and in the right order) to help develop their memory and other cognitive skills!

2. Simon Says
A classic! “Simon says do a handstand.” “Stand on 1 leg.” A simple game of Simon Says can help promote body awareness as your child engages in different movements. They’ll also have to use their auditory comprehension skills to follow the directions and listen for whether or not “Simon” said!

3. Ball Bounce
Bouncing on a large exercise ball against a wall can give your child just the amount of physical input their body needs. To add some cognitive demands, ask your child to sing their ABC’s while bounding, or go back and forth naming different animals for each letter of the alphabet without repeating.

4. Animal Walk Relay
Make a “path” around the house using tape, flags, or colorful dots. Have your child get from point A to point B by pretending to be the animal you name. Bear walk, bunny hop, crab walk, frog jumps – this one’s sure to work their muscle strength and coordination!

5. Go for a Ride
Kids can take a ride on their bike, scooter, skateboard, or whatever they choose! For an added language benefit, play “I Spy” while riding to help improve your child’s vocabulary by understanding and using descriptive words.

6. Towel Tug
Lay a towel on the floor and weigh it down with objects. Or, have a sibling sit on it! Have your child pull the towel across the room. Keep them motivated by asking them to make a prediction of how many times they think they can do this!

7. Scorpion Game
Parents—here’s a new sensory-motor game that also gives you time to interact with your kids! You pretend to be a scorpion, holding a pool noodle as your stinger and keeping your eyes closed. Your child is the squirrel that has to try and “rescue” stuffed animals from the ground by picking one up and running it back to the other side of the room. If your child gets “stung” and you tap them with the noodle, they must do an exercise you choose (jumping jacks, star jumps, or sit-ups, for example).

8. Dog Catcher
Make two bases across from each other, connected by a path of pillows. You are the dog catcher and your child is the puppy. He or she must rescue their stolen “bones” (balls) or animal friends (stuffed animals) by taking the pillow path to your base and back when you pretend to go to sleep. If your child wakes you up or accidentally steps on the floor, the dog catcher (you) have to try and tag the puppy!

9. Lava Floor
Pretend the floor is lava! You and your child can make a path in the living room to get from the couch to the door without touching the floor. Use pillows, bean bags, and other objects you find to help your child practice their balance, coordination, and creativity!

10. Jump Up!
A great way to give your child’s body some vestibular input (balance and awareness of their body’s position in space)? Jumping! Kids can jump on a trampoline or on a mattress you put on the floor.

Some children may have trouble with balance, coordination, strength, are constantly moving, or become easily distracted. If you have concerns in these areas of your child’s development, an evaluation by a physical therapist or occupational therapist can help. TherapyWorks is a company that provides these services (in addition to speech therapy, feeding therapy, and social work) via teletherapy. You will be connected with a therapist who specializes in your areas of concern and can provide more tips for at-home activities for your child!

Resources:
U.S. Centers for Disease Control. Considerations for schools.https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/schools-childcare/schools.html

Sprang, Ginny & Silman, Miriam. (2013). Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in Parents and Youth After Health-Related Disasters. Disaster Medicine and Public Health Preparedness. 7. 10.1017/dmp.2013.22.

Chaddock-Heyman, L., Hillman, C. H., Cohen, N. J., & Kramer, A. F. (2014). III. The importance of physical activity and aerobic fitness for cognitive control and memory in children. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 79(4), 25-50. https://doi.org/10.1111/mono.12129

Michelle Worth

Tinybeans Voices Contributor

I'm a mom entrepreneur and Co-Founder of TherapyWorks, a pediatric therapy company that provides services via telehealth. I recognized the need to make high-quality pediatric therapy more convenient after one of my own children needed therapy and launched TherapyWorks with my Co-Founder, an experienced speech language-pathologist, with that in mind.

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