For a lot of parents, the idea of becoming a step-parent would be out of the question. But for many others, when the love for a partner and their kids is so great, you don’t question your love—you solidify it.
My journey as a step-parent probably sounds the same as many others. Step-parents are widely portrayed as evil, self-serving people who have an agenda of pain and fear (thanks, Disney). A step-parent oftentimes becomes a scape-goat for issues and problems, when in reality, a lot of the personal or emotional problems probably existed prior to or after the bio-parents divorced or separated.
Someone once called me a saint for marrying a man with three kids and taking on the role of caretaker. In reality, I’m getting just as much, if not more than I’m giving. I have been given a gift of having a beautiful family, and the opportunity to learn from and teach my kids mutually.
But before you decide if marrying someone with kids is in their or your best interest, maybe you should ask yourself some of the following questions. Marrying into a blended family does have it’s challenges, and in my experience, it’s worth it. But it might not be for everyone.
1. Do I love these children as if they were my own?
2. Do I have the capacity to care for these children as if they were my own?
3. Do I know that despite loving these children, they will always put their biological mom or dad first, even if that means being loyal to their mom or dad by bad-mouthing me?
4. Do I know that I don’t know all that happened before I was in the picture, and I will never know the whole story?
5. Am I willing to learn integrate new changes, while respecting there were “other” ways of doing things before I got into the picture?
6. Do I know that in their mom’s eyes, I will (likely) always be a source of contention?
7. Do I vow to put my family first?
8. Do I vow to love myself, even when criticized?
9. Will my spouse work alongside me in parenting the children?
10. Do I believe I can add value and purpose to these kids and my partner, as well as myself?
11. Do I accept that my beloved husband or wife must maintain a healthy relationship (or try to) with his ex-spouse?
If I had the choice, I wouldn’t trade my family for anything in the world. Blended families are extremely hard, but I’m not sure raising a “non-blended” family is all that much easier. People are people and that means we are all different and we must all have patience and desire to work together.
As a speech-language pathologist, one of the most common concerns I hear from parents is that their child can’t tell them about their day. This is a hard question for so many kids. To be able to talk about their day, a child needs to be able to comprehend the qestion, recall events from the day, use storytelling language, use sequencing skills, and probably recognize and understand the emotions they felt through the day.
Unless there was an exciting assembly or new event that happened, in preschool “I played” is usually an OK response. As parents, we so desperately want to hear what happened during the day and share in their joy or support their tough times. But when all they say is, “I don’t know” “Nothing” or “I played” we understandably may feel a bit frustrated. If you want to help your child develop this skill, follow these 5 tips:
1. Make the question predictable. Ask every night at dinner. Many children may begin preparing their answers if they know the question is coming.
2. Model. Start with siblings and spouses first.
3. Include your daily routine in the retelling of your day. When you do this, your child can begin to build connections between what they observe and what you tell in your story. This helps them identify what is important and gives them ideas as to what they can include in their retell.
4. Practice with pictures. If you have a particularly exciting day, snap photos. Then, sit with them and your camera roll and help them scroll through and talk about each picture.
5. Ask specific rather than broad questions to guide their thinking. Instead of “Tell me about your day,” you can ask “Who did you sit with at lunch?” “What story did you read today?” Get information from teachers on your child’s day if you can to ask even more pointed questions, and then you can model responses if your child still comes up short.
If your child is struggling with vocabulary, sentence construction, or answering questions, they may not be ready for this skill yet or professional help might be needed.
Janine Segner is a credentialed speech therapist with a decade of experience in school, outpatient medical and private practice settings. She is licensed in Virgnia and Maryland and is the owner of Expressive Speech and Feeding, a pediatric speech therapy practice in Herndon, Virginia.
Can you believe Starbucks is turning the big 5-0? In honor of the big day, the coffee company is releasing lots of special goodies, especially in the merchandise department.
The special collection is limited edition and is all about Starbucks iconic Siren that celebrates its heritage. We got a sneak peak of some of the upcoming products and you’re going to want them all!
Siren Double Wall Ceramic Tumbler
This dainty ceramic double-wall tumbler comes with a gorgeous limited-edition Siren sketched in a luster finish.
$24.95
Siren Tails Glass Mug
Collectors will love to get their hands on this special anniversary cup that is all about the Starbucks Siren.
$16.95
Tonal Sea Green Siren Stainless Steel Tumbler
Perfect for hot beverages, this Siren double-wall, vacuum-insulated, stainless-steel sea green tumbler will make your friends green with envy.
$22.95
Amber Luster Glass Cold Cup
Not a fan of green? This amber rainbow luster cup does the trick for all your cold drinks.
$16.95
Not pictured are a limited edition Terra Cotta Siren Ceramic Mug with a Siren decal and glossy finish ($14.95) and a special gift card. You can also pick up a bag of special Anniversary Blend while you’re there!
Award-winning actor Idris Elba just took on a new role—and it’s not for a movie. Elba recently signed a global multi-book deal to publish a range of children’s books with HarperCollins.
Elba’s new venture into the world of kid lit will include picture and fiction books, featuring characters and worlds the actor and writing partner Robyn Charteris developed.
Photo courtesy: Maarten de Boer / Contour by Getty Images
The writer/actor said, in a press release, “I feel privileged to have the opportunity to bring stories inspired by my daughter to life with my incredible partner Robyn Charteris, and the powerhouse team at HarperCollins.”
President and Publisher HCCB US, Suzanne Murphy, said of the partnership, “Idris Elba is a creative force, who has many wonderful stories to tell. We are honored to be working with him and with Robyn Charteris to bring Idris’s rich and imaginative storytelling to the world of children’s books, and we are thrilled to welcome them to the HarperCollins family.”
Elba’s new line of children’s books for HarperCollins will launch in 2022.
Albert Einstein once said, “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.
As a young girl, I remember my parents reading me a story every night at bedtime. My favorite book was Cinderella. As I listened, I would close my eyes and picture the story in my mind. As soon as the storytelling would begin, the boundary between the life of Cinderella and everyday life seemed to quickly disappear. And the ending was never a surprise (and that was my favorite part) for I was safe in the knowledge that through it all—lost slipper or bad fairy, the princess would marry the prince and get to live in the larger than life palace just beyond the sunset, happily ever after.
Fairy tales teach us about empathy and compassion, relationships, and the difference between good and evil. These stories are more than just happily ever after. They portray real moral lessons thru characters and virtue shown in the stories.
Some of the benefits of reading fairy tales to your children include:
Giving kids a place to learn the idea that life isn’t always easy and people don’t always have your best interests at heart. These stories give parents a way of gradually introducing their children to the idea that there are some bad people in the world. At the same time, it’s a way of reinforcing the importance of being kind, thoughtful, and true.
Fairy Godmothers, talking animals, evil witches—anything is possible in a fairy tale! Our world needs more imaginative and creative thinkers. When our minds are opened to all sorts of ideas and possibilities as children, we develop an out-of-the-box thinking style. When presented with a problem or challenge, children with vivid imaginations will come up with wonderfully unique ways to overcome those challenges.
Sharing stories can be a very powerful way to help children navigate complex and moral subjects. They learn and discover their actions have consequences and can affect other people’s feelings, as well as impacting their own emotions.
Without being explicitly known, children learn that hard work pays off and that sometimes delayed gratification is necessary. Fairy tales provide answers to what the world is really like and a child’s place within it.
Fairy tales encourage children to develop their own creativity. Most fairy tales do not include detailed outlines of the characters which encourage children to make up their own mental picture of the characters. The vague descriptions of places and events also help children develop their imaginations by envisioning what is happening in the story. This creativity, in turn, will be an invaluable skill for children in later life.
There are many versions of the same fairy tale. Gone are the days when all the main characters looked virtually the same. Now children from all over the world can glimpse different cultures through these stories and see themselves reflected as well. Often, these versions depend on the culture of its author.
These stories not only provide us with pieces of our background but enlighten others to something different. Fairy tales have the power to change lives. They can inspire a person to be something greater than they are, and become the person they want to be. The power of fairy tales can give people strength in their weakest moments, and lead them down a path they wouldn’t originally have the courage to walk.
Most young children aren’t remotely aware that they’re learning life skills. For them, all that matters is the moment, when a good story whirls them away into new worlds. One of the reasons I believe love fairy tales remain so powerful is that extraordinary things happen to ordinary people. In a fairy tale, a young girl lost in the forest, can find food and comfort in a houseful of bears.
Through her vibrant picture books, illustrated by her brother Zeka Cintra,Isabel strives to introduce kids to a world where diversity is valuable and beautiful. Fantasy, representativeness and diversity are common themes in her editorial production. She currently resides in Stockholm, Sweden with her husband and daughters.
In a world where the answer is always at your fingertips, and everyone has an opinion of you, it’s hard to figure out who you are sometimes. It’s even harder to find that inner voice that reminds you that you are strong, funny, and worthy with the outside noise of jealousy and disgust is always looming.
We are a very “Keeping up with Joneses” generation. When planning out my life, I had that mentality. I wanted my life to be better than I ever could have imagined and I have a very specific, and very vain list of how I was going to make it so. From marrying a 6’5 athlete who loved his mother to wanting to live in a neighborhood in the swankiest area of where we live, I had very low, materialistic expectations of how I wanted to live my life. Those were my ideas of success.
Then I dated 6’5 losers, the area I had dreamed of living in turned out to be nothing but full of holier than thou hypocrite judgers that would make life miserable. Even if we could afford to live in that area I’d take a hard pass, fast. The life I have isn’t what I pictured or what I thought I wanted but it turned out to be everything I wanted. I’ve fought hard for the simple life that in my earlier years I thought I wouldn’t have wanted. I married the quiet guy who makes me laugh on the daily, supports any crazy idea I may have and loves me and our kids fiercely.
We live in a tiny ranch house. We’ve looked to upgrade it in big ways but at the end of the day, our tiny ranch house is perfect for us. We live in a village that’s mostly families who have the same, full of contentment dream. One thing I’ve learned over the years and that’s become more blatantly obvious is it’s not the things that matter but the people and how the area you live in makes you feel. Where we live it’s less “Keeping up with Joneses,” and more keeping up with our kids and their needs and dreams.
It’s less, “We have to get Cam here and Roy there” and more filling our lives with activities we all love and more taking it easy to figure out what our kids like and focus on that. I love the simple life we’ve built. It’s still challenging thanks to the autism side of it and the three-nager we currently have but it’s a crazy fun balance that I wouldn’t change.
I hope my younger self is proud of the way our life took a turn. It’s not a life she would have ever pictured but it’s a good one. So marry the nerdy guy. The one that lets you unapologetically yourself. The one that seems to have his life together way more than you. The one that shows up at midnight at your darkest moment. The one who sleeps on the couch with you when you’re too sick to get to bed. The one that still makes you laugh, post-kids, and you wet your pants a little. The one who speaks three-nager and is the best hostage negotiator.
The life that you imagined doesn’t have to be the life you have. The life I have is a million times better than what I ever dreamed. I’m grateful that I said yes to the short, quiet guy who loves his own mama but loves the family he’s made more. We have everything we need. We work hard together as a team which is what I needed. There are days we don’t like each other. But we still show up. I think that’s the secret. You show up on your worst day so your partner can be their best. We are always making what feels like life and death decisions. We believe in Murphy’s law a lot. We cry until we laugh. Laugh until we cry. It can be the dumbest thing that we’re laughing about.
If you’re single. I hope you find that person. It’s not about materialistic things. It’s about the person who shows up for you when the world turns its back on you. They are the ones who lay on the floor with you when you aren’t sure how you’re going to take your next breath. They love you and your kids fiercely. They admit when things are hard or when they’re struggling. They support you in your dreams and goals no matter how crazy they may sound. I hope you marry the person that makes you feel all the things—the person that allows you to be unapologetically you.
Jeremy is that for me. I didn’t believe in soulmates and love at first sight. I believed you truly could make it work with anyone if you put the effort in. Then one random Tuesday, a quiet, sweet guy walked into a coffee shop and my heart was like, “Well he’s different in a way that I need in my life!” and here we are almost 8 years later. I’m blessed beyond measure because a guy with his life together took a chance on me the biggest hot mess. I’ll forever be grateful.
Lindsey is a mom, wife, and blogger at The Althaus Life. She lives in Ohio with her husband and 2 children. Lindsey is grateful all things and to be able to chronicle her beautifully broken laugh til you cry cry until you laugh life.
The first 48 hours go by so fast. You’re basking in the glow of love. Take a few moments and capture those precious moments of bonding before you head home and the family arrives to see the new addition.
Because of COVID-19, hospitals aren’t allowing professional photographers into the hospitals to take any pictures. Most mother-baby stays are shorter than normal to ensure that mom, dad, and baby all stay healthy.
So what’s the best way to document the first memories of your baby’s life? Kendra Greenberg Photography has tips and tricks for taking professional-looking pictures that you will want to frame, put in an album, and use for your baby announcements all from your iPhone. You can absolutely create some lasting images from your time in the hospital.
Kendra is a maternity, newborn, and family photographer based in the Los Angeles area. She has photographed over 1200 newborns at the hospital in their first two days of life and also does posed newborn photography. To learn more about Kendra, visit her website at KendraGreenberg.com and on Instagram @kendraslife.
1. Make a Plan
Visual examples are your best friend. Check out this free PDF Kendra has included if you need some inspiration. Also, if you have time, you can create a Pinterest page of in-hospital baby pictures that you would like to recreate.
Make sure to pack the items that you want with you in the photos, for example, a nice robe, baby outfits/headbands, plus any make-up and hair styling tools you’ll need if you want a certain look.
2. Kendra’s Must-Have Shots
Mom with baby
Dad with Baby
Baby Portrait: Pictures of the baby by themselves
Tiny Pieces: Close-ups on the head, hands, and feet
Family Picture: Have the nurse take this one!
3. It’s All about the Lighting
First, turn off all artificial lights and get everyone by the window—trust me—turn them off. Natural light complements all skin tones the best. If you leave any other lights on in your room, your baby and the photo will look orange, regardless of your skin tone. Also, turn off your flash. The flash will ruin the natural shadows that we love in documentary-style photography. On your iPhone screen, tap on the part of the image where you want sharp focus. This will also correct the brightness of the image.
PRO TIP: Don’t photograph anyone with the window directly behind them. Most hospitals have a blackout curtain and a shade curtain. Use the shade curtain if it’s too bright. Make sure there is no harsh sunlight on anyone. Make sure the soft light from the window is lighting their faces.
4. Frame It Up
Get close to your subject to make the photo look more artistic. With intense close-ups like these, you will naturally get a blurry background which will give the picture that professional effect. You’ll want to focus the image in the same way as you did for step four: on your iphone screen, tap on the part of the image where you want sharp focus. This will also correct the brightness of the image. This technique is especially nice for images of the head, hands, and feet.
PRO TIP: Physically move your body closer instead of using the in-phone zoom feature. If you zoom in digitally the image will pixelate and you won’t get good print quality.
5. Get in the Picture
Moms, Dads, get in the picture with your baby! Don’t worry about how you look! Years from now all you’ll see is the glow of love on your face. Those first 48 hour memories are priceless and you can’t recreate the moment when you get home.
For parents who would still really prefer not to be photographed: Consider using your hands under the baby’s head or cheek for an artistic shot. As the baby gets older, they will cherish the image of you and them together.
PRO TIP: Photographing a parent from above with his/her eyes closed and head leaning in close to the baby is a very artistic and flattering shot. Everyone looks good in this picture! Regardless of how much sleep they’ve gotten. Just make sure to get very close and tap the screen to focus on the baby’s face.
6. Choose the Right Moment
Babies are either sleeping, eating, pooping, or everything at the same time, lol! You want to take your pictures when the baby has a full belly and/or is drifting off to sleep. It’s very difficult to get pictures of a one-day-old baby when their eyes are open because that usually means that they’re uncomfortable for some reason.
A warm room will make the baby more comfortable, but don’t let it get too hot for too long. Remember, if you have any questions, consult the medical staff. A tight swaddle, gentle rocking, and shushing sounds mimic the conditions in mommy’s womb. The nurses are expert swaddlers and they love to help new parents.
Most of all, have fun with it! Your first 48 hours with your baby are magical. Enjoy every precious minute of it together and remember, don’t forget to take the pictures!
I'm a mom to 3 crazy kids, wife and, photographer! I’ve been a photographer for 20+ years. I have photographed over 1200 newborns in hospitals all across Los Angeles and it never gets old. I’ll never lose the awe and wonder at this journey of self discovery that is parenthood.
Forget about those little plastic eggs––Skittles has a better way to hide your kiddo’s Easter haul. Skittles Impossible Egg Hunt packets are here and these fun sized candies will make your backyard holiday happening into a super-sleuthing experience.
While the idea of teeny tiny bags of Skittles is far from new, this version of the beloved brand’s candy has a whole new twist. Unlike the snack packs you stock up on to give out at Halloween, these tasty treats come in a camouflaged container.
Photo: Walmart
Before you picture an army-esque camo fun-sized pack, think again. These Skittles are dressed up like your home’s natural environment. The packs are backed with pics of everything from green grass and tree bark photos to kitchen tile floor designs. Just hide the packs outside or in your house and get ready for a fun-filled family Easter egg hunt! That is, minus the actual eggs.
You can nab bags of the camo packs at retailers nationwide. Target and Target.com has 10.72 ounce bags of Skittles Impossible Egg Hunt fun size packs for $2.99 and Walmart.com has the goodies for $2.48 right now.
I love you. Three simple words that most of us throw around loosely and take for granted.
We say them when we hang up the phone, when a loved one leaves the house, and when we kiss our little one good night. And sometimes just out of habit. It’s something a mother hears a million times over a lifetime—unless your child is nonverbal. Then you might never hear it.
It’s one of those things that most don’t even think about. I have told my daughter “I love you“ every day multiple times a day for her whole life. She begins to respond and say, “You too” and then makes the kiss sound, which I will do back and she will do again and I will do back—you get the picture. And that’s okay, I’ll take it. It’s her way, and she didn’t start doing that until she was in her upper teens. It’s still special to us.
This past summer, she said “I love you” unprompted, on her own, for the first time ever. She has only said it two other times since then—it is wonderful every time. It’s quick and not 100 percent clear so you have to listen, pay attention.
There are some that question if people with autism display emotions. I have no doubt my daughter loves—I know she does, and I don’t need the words, but they are nice to hear. I think for her to say it, she has to truly feel it and be happy and content. The same thing with unprompted hugs and kisses. She does them, but they are rare. Lots of hugs on command but not on her own. That makes them all the more rewarding.
Yesterday on her way to school, she was standing by the car and I was getting her stuff, and she said, simply, “I love you.“ It’s so shocking still. It makes me feel so happy, and of course, I say, “You do!?! Thank you!” And make a big deal out of it.
The thing with autism and having someone nonverbal in your life. You learn to appreciate the little things. In fact, the little things are not so little. You have to open your heart and listen. When you think you hear something, you have to believe. Believe in your child. Believe in your love and believe in what the future may bring.
Kim McIsaac , is a blogger at autism adventures with Alyssa . She resides in Massachusetts with her husband and four children . She advocates and passionate about spreading autism awareness and educating and inspiring others . She likes to write , spend time with her family and loves the beach .
Mother’s and Father’s Day is around the corner and Workman is getting ready to drop the cutest gifts. This year, instead of the traditional flowers and ties, the publishing house is sharing two new adorable fill-in books from kids to their parents.
Each book is packed with color, prompts that are easy for kids to follow and a letter to parents from their child. Kids get to use their own words and drawings to tell mom and dad just how amazing they are. Some fun prompts include “your favorite animal is ______” and “you are terrified of ______” so kiddos can tell the complete story.
You’ll also get a sheet of full-color, illustrated stickers, and a die-cut cover so littles can draw a picture or glue in a photograph.
You can purchase the books about mom and dad starting Mar., 30 on Amazon for $9.95 each.
