ML Interest Tag: school-work

How to Keep a Family Routine While Quarantining at Home

By Jacquelyn Oldham

As a result of the spread of COVID-19 across the US, the day-to-day life of American families has been turned upside down in a way we’ve never seen in our history. The days of dropping kids off at school or daycare and running them to extracurricular activities in the afternoons have changed for the foreseeable future.

Being thrown into this new “normal,” parents are finding themselves working from home while facilitating online learning and nurturing their child’s health by trying to facilitate these new routines. While what these families are far from what we’ve all known as normal, it’s even more important to foster a daily routine, to allow the child to feel some semblance of consistency in this new world they’re living in. In fact, routines can help strengthen a child’s connections in their brain allowing them to experience a sense of independence, comfort, and stability. Repetition and routines are to learning!

Check out these 5 tips for keeping your family in a routine while quarantining at home.

1. Create a daily schedule and post-it! Grab a large whiteboard or chalkboard and write down your family’s schedule from morning wake-ups to bedtime. Place the schedule in an area that has high visibility like the kitchen. Add mealtimes, activities, school work, conference calls, and nap and quiet times to the schedule. Allow the child to have a say in the schedule, specifically for where the fun or get moving activities should be. Creating a daily schedule together will give the children ownership of it and less nagging from the parent.

2. Stay consistent with bedtime and morning routines. The school year may look a little different for now but it’s not summer break. Keeping children on their regular sleep routines will not only help them stay healthy (more zzz’s = better health), having a consistent bedtime and wake-up time allows children to tackle the day positively. This type of structure organically teaches them accountability and allows them to feel personal success throughout the day! Bonus, when school IS back to in-school learning, you won’t have to deal with grumpy gooses to get out of bed, they’ll already be accustomed to it!

3. Keep learning a top priority. While school may not be physically in session, almost every school is now offering virtual learning opportunities for their students. If your school falls into this category, first, ensure your child has a quiet area to do their work. Set them up at the kitchen table or home office, then, make a note to set up your child’s schoolwork the night before (print pages, set up online meetings) to help keep everyone on track! For kids who are accustomed to switching classrooms throughout the day, set-up multiple areas, and have the kids experience a couple of state changes throughout the day. For example, a desk upstairs and then downstairs at the kitchen table. 

Tip: Have them wake up and get dressed as if they are going to school. Especially if they wear a uniform. This allows them to shift their brains to learning and a prepared state for the day.

4. Make time for meal prep. With your whole family at home, and many restaurants only offering take-out opportunities, you’re probably finding yourself cooking a lot. While it’s ok to wing it – save yourself a little bit of time and plan your meals a day or even a few days in advance. This can help you stay on track with eating healthier and even use some of those pantry items that you’ve stocked up on! Don’t forget those snacks! Create snack bins for the day and let them choose those snacks: 1 fruit, 1 veggie, 1 protein, and 1 treat! Let the kids participate in the meal/snack prep process!

5. Remember to make time to move each day. Whether it’s a family walk around the block, a soccer game in the backyard, or an in-gym or virtual The Little Gym class, it’s important to make time to get moving each day to help decrease stress, reset your brain, and remain in a state of healthy and happy.

Implementing and sticking to a routine while stuck at home will help the whole family stay on track both mentally and physically and prep everyone for when life gets back on track again!

Experienced Director in Curriculum and Training with a demonstrated history of working in the entertainment, education, health wellness and fitness industry. Skilled in nonprofit organizations, event planning, customer service, franchising, entrepreneurship, coaching and sales. 

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What You Need to Know About NYC Pandemic Learning Pods

by Yuliya Geikhman

Like almost everywhere else in the country, being a parent in New York City right now is full of uncertainties, and that of course, includes going back to school this fall. While complete details about how school will resume in NYC are still TBD, many families, whether attending school remotely, or via a hybrid model, are looking into learning pods. For the basics on what a learning pod is, the different kinds of learning pods, how you can find and/or create a learning pod in NYC and more, check out our guide below.

Different Kinds of Learning Pods in NYC

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Learning pods, also known as micro-schools or, currently, "pandemic pods," are small learning groups, usually consisting of no more than a few families. These groups meet either virtually or in-person and learn together. In some cases, learning pods are intended to take the place of traditional schooling, while in other cases they are a supplement to it. Pods can meet every day for the length of a normal school day, or a few times a week for an hour or two.

Pods exist in several different forms. Here are the main types of learning pods along with helpful resources for NYC parents who want to learn more about or adopt the micro-learning approach.

Virtual Pods

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Virtual pods meet online and are led by a teacher. They can be held one-on-one, with members of the pods learning the same things but at different times, or groups can meet together in a virtual conference.

Pros: Virtual pods are the safest - since there's no in-person contact - and easiest to set up - since pods can meet asynchronously, eliminating the need to coordinate a time that works for everyone. Plus, if you're meeting one-on-one, these virtual meetings also allow each child to get more help if necessary. If you do choose to meet as a group, you can include more kids in each meeting, giving kids a chance to see more of their friends at a time.

Cons: On the other hand, virtual pods aren't ideal for parents who want their children to socialize with others, even if pods meet at the same time, since virtual interaction can't replace in-person interaction. Recent reports show that online socializing can be exhausting and draining. Yep - the Zoom fatigue is real.

NYC Virtual Pod Resources:

  • Essentially, any online tutoring service can fulfill parents' needs for virtual pods, and many services are now offering online group classes. Check out Central Park Tutors for personalized online tutoring from a local source, or find a local tutor from a tutoring service like Varsity Tutors or Bee Tutored.

In-person Pods

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These pods gather together in a space that's ideally, suited for social distancing (in other words, every member should be able to maintain a six-foot distance from each other). In-person pods are usually led by a teacher, but adults from different family groups can take turns teaching, or supervising, as well. (More on how to start a parent-led pod later in this post.)

Pros: Meeting in person is a great way to get some socializing, which is crucial to the development of children, and maintain friendships. The small nature of the in-person pods means every child gets the chance to receive personalized instruction. Kids will also be comfortable with this kind of learning since it's closest to what a traditional classroom looks like—a teacher-led, group learning experience.

Cons: Meeting in person is always a greater risk than meeting online, and it can be a challenge to find a space large enough to accommodate your crew and social distancing. 

NYC In-person Pod Resources:

A number of resources have sprung up recently that will provide pod learning at the location of your choosing. Here are a few to consider:

  • The Apiari will work with parents to create an in-person pod that works for you. They recommend no more than three families per pod and offer a trial booking so you can try before you commit. Prices start at $10 per hour.
  • Learning-Pods.com was founded by a group of established educators including the Hudson Lab School, Portfolio School, and others. Elementary school pods are held Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. Prices range from $1300 to $4500 per semester, depending on how many kids are in the pod.
  • EBL Coaching helps kids with learning disabilities or struggles to catch up to their peers. Visit their center in the upper east side for on-location pod learning, or book one-on-one tutoring in your home. Call or email for pricing.
  • Remote School has on-site programs that will assist children in logging on to and completing their remote school work. The school also provides support, teachers, and other help with on-site and at-home pod learning. Prices vary: for example, two-day a week instruction on-site starts at $4800 per semester.
  • EPOD Collective brings fun and active learning to your home or other location of your choosing (within a 15 mile radius of NYC) for Pre-K kids as well as kids ages 5-12. Two, four, and nine hour sessions are available for up to six children at a time (with an age difference of no more than three years) and will bring Math and ELA aligned with school curriculum, art, creativity, and critical thinking to the table. Parents can also inquire about additional services like music, theater, movement, STEAM, coding, and more - and can even request catered lunches. Prices start at $450 per 2 hours of programming per day per POD. 
  • Beekman School is a private school option for parents who want to switch completely from traditional schooling to a small-format micro-school. It's also a great option for older kids, offering classes for grades 9-12. Each class consists of no more than seven students and boasts representation from a diverse range of cultures and backgrounds. Full-time tuition starts at $42,000 plus various fees.
  • NORY Microschool is another private school that only has five students per class. Only 10 families will be selected through a rigorous admission process, so seating is extremely limited. Call or email for prices.

Preschool Pods

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Privately run childcare centers have been cleared to open in New York City, but if you're not ready to send your child to one, you can still get your littlest one engaged with a preschool pod.

Pros: As we mentioned earlier in this post, socializing is an important part of a child's development, especially for very young kids, and you'll have more control in terms of the environment. 

Cons: Smaller children are more difficult to keep at safe distances and it isn't always easy to keep their little hands out of their mouths.

NYC Preschool Pod Resources:

  • Learning Pods (mentioned above) also offers a preschool option for kids ages 3-4, Mondays through Fridays from 9 to 11:45 a.m. A qualified teacher will come to your home (or location of choice) and work with up to six kids at a time. Prices range between $1400 and $3000 depending on how many kids are in a pod.

Parent-led Pods

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Whether you instruction by a private teacher or tutor is too pricey, or you want to work with your community to provide additional learning services to everyone, parent-led pods are an excellent option.

Pros: Learning pods can get very expensive, so parent-led pods are a good option for those who don't want to pay the price for an official instructor. A parent-led preschool pod could be an especially attractive option for parents who mostly need an adult to occupy, engage and keep the kids safe while they'r at work. 

Parent-led pods offer the chance for kids to get to know more people in their mini community, and every adult can bring a different talent or skill to the table, offering the chance to deviate from the traditional classroom and teach real-life skills. These learning pods also help limit the exposure of your kids and family to people outside the pod group, since the only people you'll be in contact with are from within the group.

Cons: Setting up parent-led pods requires time and effort, and hinges on your finding enough willing parents to shoulder the burden. Not having a professional educator for older kids  makes it a less appealing option for full-time schooling, especially if the parents in the group have no experience with teaching or homeschooling.

NYC Parent-led Pod Resources:

There are a few resources out there for how to start your own parent-led learning pod. Here are some of the best we've found:

  • Modulo provides a more in-depth guide for setting up learning pods, including potential curriculums and ideas.

P.S. Homeschooling? Private Schooling? Know the Rules!

If you plan to homeschool completely this semester, make sure you're aware of the regulations and forms you'll need to fill out. Here's all you need to know about how to officially register your child for homeschooling or register as a private school for more than one family.

 

Take Your Pods Outside

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Whenever possible, the CDC recommends hosting any gatherings outside. If you can find a backyard or a spot in a nearby park without much foot traffic, consider hosting your learning pods there.

Tree Bath is a resource that takes children's' learning outside and incorporates nature into the curriculum. Prices start at $800 per semester for pods no bigger than five kids.

 

The Price and Inequality of Learning Pods: Free and Cheap NYC Pod Resources

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As you may have noticed, the price of micro-schooling can be very steep. This means that the safety and flexibility of learning pods is largely available only to those who can afford it. In fact, private "pandemic pods" can increase the inequality gap.

Luckily, if you're on a budget or simply can't afford the pricier options, there are ways to work with learning pods that are cheaper and more affordable. Parent-led pods can be very affordable since the teaching is split between community members. Here are a few more free or cheap options for NYC parents looking to participate in pod learning this fall:

  • The New York Public Library offers free online tutoring through Brainfuse every day 2 - 11 p.m. Although these resources are used one-on-one, they can support remote school learning and can be used to assist kids who are learning together in a pod. Tutoring is free and only requires a NYPL library card.
  • The United Federation of Teachers (UFT) has a "dial-a-teacher" program that helps kids K-5 with English and math work Monday through Thursday, 4 to 7 p.m. All you need to do is fill out a form and a call will be set up for you.
  • Free online curriculums like Khan Academy and affordable, parent-oriented curriculums like Blossom and Root make it possible for parents to create a rich learning experience for pod kids at home, without the need for an expensive investment into an official program or teacher.
  • Free and affordable online courses are another option, with websites like Udemy, Sawyer, and many local museums offering many different skills with video instruction and assignments.
  • Free and affordable live virtual classes take this idea a step further with live instruction - perfect for pods! The 92Y, for instance, has lessons on everything from hip-hop and tap dancing to science and art. Varsity Tutors also hosts live virtual classes, some of which are fairly affordable (and be on the lookout for occasional free courses!).

—Yuliya Geikhman

RELATED STORIES: 

Safe & Smart: NYC In-Person & Outdoor After School Programs & Classes

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The Best Facebook Groups for NYC Parents

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Set up for School Success With These Kid-Approved Home Learning Ideas

By Adele Beiny

Photo: Adele Beiny via Life’s Looking Good

For many kids across the country (including mine), their school season won’t be business as usual. Some students might be thrilled, while some may be extremely bummed out and really miss normal life. I think we can all agree though, that no matter what, it’s a lot of change for our little guys.

One way we can help ease their transition into home learning is to create an environment that feels special and warm for them. One that is designated for their school work but full of creative and unique self-expression.

I’ve compiled a few ideas and items that parents may find helpful when setting up their new learning spaces this fall.

1. Organize it. I always start with organization, because a clean and de-cluttered area fosters a clean mind. Just like adults, children find it hard to think in chaos. Their surface or desktop spaces should be as clear as possible. I love to use makeup caddies as school supply holders. They can house markers, pencils, highlighters, scissors, and rulers. They can also be kept out for easy access while still maintaining a tidy feel. These can be found with a handle, drawers, or be turn-st‌yle like a lazy Suzan. I love these as they provide easy access for little hands.

Another way to store their necessary art supplies and workbooks can be with woven baskets, collapsible cubes, or clear Lucite bins. Depending on your child’s st‌yle and age, they double as room decor too!

Rolling carts are a great option to keep surface areas clean while having supplies, books, and crafts handy and nearby. They also come in really cute colors or can be spray painted to your child’s favorite color! Another bonus is they can move easily from room to room if your child’s learning does too.

2. Personalize it. Let their personalities shine! Use their favorite colors, characters or sports heroes and find some wall decals in that theme to put up near their learning area.

You can also gather several fun photo memories from the summer, print them online, and have them hung in a fun way. Let them choose the photos and how they want to hang them. You can change them seasonally too, as weather changes and as you capture new moments for them like their classroom bulletin board.

A personalized water bottle can be set nearby so they don’t need to leave during calls. The more things reflect them, the more they’ll like being in the space designated for them. Ideally, each kid has their own space to learn, but if they don’t, labeling or having some of their organizational supplies personalized can give them some pride of ownership. If it clearly belongs to them, they may take more care to be mindful of their space and things.

I feel passionate that just because school isn’t in session, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have a cute backpack and fun accessories. Your child may need to tote school items and their tablet or laptop to another co-parent’s home, a neighbor, or a tutor. So let them choose a fun backpack to have. Add a cool keychain on it. Colorful or interesting folders will still be appreciated. Let them be a part of the choosing process for school supplies, much like if it were non-COVID times.

3. Offer (small) distractions. Lastly, incorporate items that may be needed to help with distraction. A fun but comfortable headphone set to block out household noise while on calls for example and for kids who have trouble concentrating keeping handy, put some thinking putty, stress balls, or rubber bands across the bottom of their chair to bounce their feet on.

All of these thoughtful preparations will also start positively reinforcing that summer is winding down and a new season is starting. You can talk to them through the process of how they feel about the changes. Ask them what items (within reason) they think will make this transition easier?

Taking the time to order the supplies and cultivate a designated and child-specific learning zone will show them that although schooling will look different this year, it matters greatly.

Good luck this year and happy at-home learning.

Hi! I’m Adele - not the singer. I am the proud mother of two amazing humans, Jacob and Lyla. I find beauty in the simplicity of the world around me. I love bringing humans together with good food and creating a mood that fosters meaningful connection.

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8 Positives of Quarantine?

By Kim Ennis

I don’t know about you but every day, since quarantine began 7 weeks ago, I finish multiple sentences with, “Never mind, what does it matter anyway…”

Don’t wear your school shoes out to play!

When did you guys last get a bath? Did I shower today?

It’s past bedtime!

Did you stain that shirt?

How long have you been playing that game/ watching that show?

I was going to do my hair but…

I don’t like that kind of bread.

Your socks don’t match.

Hairspray, perfume, mascara? No? what does it matter?

And I don’t mean this in a depressing way like we’ve lost all hope. What I mean is that there are so many things that normally would matter but we are completely far outside the realm of normal. These things don’t matter because all that matters right now is to stay home. Keep those that live in it alive. And wash your hands.

So many little things that we would normally care about really don’t matter right now. Seriously! They are so small and really are completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. We have much bigger things to worry about. They aren’t asking for very much- just stay home. And yet at times, it feels like a lot is being asked of us. Stay home?! But what about school, work, baseball, getting a haircut, going shopping, planning a vacation… Seeing our family?

It is hard to believe we are really going through this. Everything has changed. Does anyone else wake up each morning and ask themselves, is this seriously happening? Seriously?? A worldwide crisis, a pandemic? But it is. And when we may feel at our very most vulnerable, we have to put our big girl pants on and suck it up. Why? Because we have to be there to support our kids. They are young. They are small. And they are going through this too and it can be just as hard on them.

BUT it is only temporary. I am an optimist at heart. Just ask my Mom. She has always told me I wear rose-colored glasses. Let’s look on the bright side and think of all of the things we have been able to do since the orders or mandate to stay at home. All of us have wide and varied experiences at home but let’s think of all of the new things we have had time to do here.

1. Cooking! And dinners together as a family every single night. Saying prayers together. Being thankful for what we have.

2. Gardening, landscaping, and enjoying the weather outdoors. Thank goodness it is Spring. We have watched the trees, plants, and flowers grow!

3. We have expanded our vocabulary: Coronavirus, social distancing, shelter in place, PPE, COVID, quarantine, N95, novel virus, contact tracing… and so forth.

4. We have strengthened our abilities to telecommute, work from home, video conference, learn online, and network virtually.

5. We have been creative and have still hung out with friends by playing games together but virtually. Poker, Scavenger hunt, and so on. It is fun to get social, even from a distance. Hunter has had virtual nerf gunfights and a ukelele jam session with his BFF. Talk about resilience.

6. We have learned to become our own beauticians and taken matters into our own hands. Home haircuts, hairstyles, manicures, grooming, etc. What’s amazing is the beauticians are creating videos to show us how!

7. We have the fear of the unknown but as parents, we are strong every day for our children. We try to explain the severity of the situation in their terms. And boy is that tough.

8. We long for the day when we can all get back together. To hug, embrace, shake hands without 6 feet of distance. How will society change? Will we go back to shaking hands? Will we always wear masks in public, on planes, to the grocery store? Will we ever be able to go without hand sanitizer?

So much goes through my mind on a given day. I am afraid of the unknown, as I am sure you are too. How will we start school in the fall? When will we ever have a family vacation? Will my retirement savings get back to where it started before the pandemic?

One thing I know is that we are being stretched far—much further than we could have ever imagined but we are growing in more ways than we know. We have the gift of time right now. And a lot of it. That is until we get to the other side of this.

This post originally appeared on Life, Love & Little Boys.

Located in Bloomington, Indiana I am a wife, full-time working Mom to 3 boys, a part-time graduate student & a writer. I am also an optimist, problem solver, peacemaker, gardener, runner and a crazy-busy mom just trying to enjoy each moment. I truly value my friends, family and my mommy tribe.

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Hey Moms: Stop Putting Your Own Needs on Hold

By Justine Jalaff

My whole career as a stay-at-home mom I never thought myself capable of balancing anything more than taking care of my home and family. I put my whole heart and soul into caring for my children but little heart into caring for myself. I have put my children’s needs above my own. 

Of course there is nothing wrong with being unselfish and putting others first. Especially your children. But, you cannot neglect yourself. 

School, work, self-care. All of it went right on the shelf when I became a mother. And I’m sure I am not the only one. Motherhood, at the beginning with young children is often chaotic, overwhelming, and just plain exhausting. Suddenly having these precious lives in your care can be a daunting task. 

I don’t have any regrets of my decision to stay home exclusively with my children. I believe it is what I needed to do to figure this whole motherhood thing out. But now I am finding myself yearning for something more. More for me. 

A desire to change my way of life has snuck into my heart. Ideas and exciting projects have formed and are constantly forming within my head. Having the opportunity to find ways and time to work on my ambitions has become a constant goal.

Not being home with my children 100% of the time doesn’t sound so bad. In fact, I am coming to believe that I will be a better mother if I can get away and do more for me. Focus on some of my dreams and passions.

Too often do women, and I believe more often mothers, put their own desires, needs and passions on hold. 

I understand finding the balance can be difficult. We, as mothers and women, need to learn how to reach out beyond ourselves and find the help we need. We cannot parent alone. We need to share the load with our partner or spouse, ask family for assistance, or find a suitable caregiver to give us the time we need. We need to learn to let go and realize the whole world will not crumble if we take some time away to do what we want to do. 

It is a constant battle for me to fight the mommy guilt. To let go and know everything will be ok without my presence. But I know it is something I need to do to feel happy. And I cannot neglect my own happiness. Of course I will continue to give everything to my children but I’m also making my dreams and passions a priority as well. I’m starting to open up the opportunities for myself to walk out my door, leave the guilt behind, know my children are in good hands, and rebuild myself into who I invision I can become.

 

I'm a big believer in opening up your raw emotions and feelings as a mother and woman for the world to see. We need more reality displayed online versus the picture-perfect moments. 

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Curious to Know What Your Teenage Daughter Thinks about Life at the Moment?

By Lindsay Sealey

Obviously, our world has changed. We are navigating an upside-down world of social distancing, self-isolation, uncertainty, and changes to our daily routines. Less obvious is how teenage girls are experiencing this pandemic, some are not talking yet and others are immersed in their digital devices.

I was wondering how teenage girls were adjusting to these changes so I asked teenage girls five questions. Their answers may not only surprise you but also give you some insight and ideas for how best to help them and for how not to hinder them. If you are like me, you assumed that our over-reliance on screens and virtual living would be their dream come true. Simply put: this is not true.

Question 1: What are the greatest changes you’ve experienced so far? Whether we are talking about school closures or how we grocery shop, girls are faced with daily interruptions in their routines, inconveniences, and scary uncertainties, change is happening. When I asked girls what the greatest of these changes were, many told me their routines have been drastically disrupted. Girls, who once woke up at 7 a.m. to hit the gym, now can’t. Girls who jumped out of bed to dash to catch the bus for school, breakfast in hand, now don’t. Girls who loved being “out and about” during the day, grabbing a Starbucks iced tea and the buzz of life around them, are forced to stay home. Each day feels like the day before and often blurry at that, they say. One teen told me that procrastination is all too real as she sits at home and has little to no motivation to do much of anything, much less her online school work. “There is just no point and it’s so hard to stay off my phone. My screen time is through the roof,” Mackenzie shuddered.

Question 2: What are you missing most? Without question, all girls are missing out on socializing. Society has often made fun of and shamed this generation for their lack of social skills and their phone addiction. Yet, at this point, human connection is exactly what these teen girls are longing for. Sophie said it this way, “I definitely want to be with people now more than ever—and I’m an introvert.” Kayla added to this insight, “I never realized how incredibly valuable human interaction is; there is nothing like a conversation with someone, face to face.” Girls remember how simple and idle chitchat in the lunch line up felt so good. Girls also miss going outside without fear, taking walks and shopping in real stores, and being outside without carefully considering how close they are to the next person.

Question 3: Can you think of any benefits or “silver linings”? It can be difficult, even ludicrous, to consider the benefits of a global disaster when you are still in the thick of it. Yet, girls were already thinking about all they’ve gained. Other than a new-found appreciation for people, many said it’s been nice to slow down, reflect, work on creative projects there was never time for, and—wait for it—spend time with their families. That’s right, every girl I spoke with said she has enjoyed family time to talk and those nightly dinners together where nobody is rushing off to a practice of work event. Everyone is home, helping each other through this, talking and listening, and being together. Des said it best when she commented, “Life is so busy and this situation has given us a gift. It has reminded us to slow down and be grateful for the amazing people we have in our lives.” 15-year old Jen said, “I have also been able to get more sleep, eat well, and wear comfortable clothes. Not worrying about what I am going to wear each day or how I am going to style my hair has been really freeing.” Elizabeth told me she has liked that she’s not spending any money on meaningless stuff and eating out.” One big silver lining, mentioned by a few girls, was the big picture perspective that the environment is appreciating the pause on production and pollution.

Question 4: What are you most looking forward to when life resumes? When life gets back to a version of normal, several girls told me they cannot wait to go back to school, to see friends. They are looking forward to working in their coffee shop and restaurant jobs. Some are keen to go to the movies. Most were looking forward to eating out at restaurants. All teens were anticipating hugs and high fives all around and an appreciation for all they took for granted.

Question 5: Right now, what or who, is helping you most and what or who, is hindering you most? This has, no doubt, been a stressful and anxiety-provoking time for everyone. Girls are finding help though, by connecting with friends online, talking to their parents, watching the news and getting accurate facts and trying to maintain some normalcy like sticking to a daily routine or focusing on gratitude, not disappointments. What hinders them is too much talk about the pandemic and obsessing with watching the news and waiting for some positive reports.

If you have a teenage girl and you are wondering how she is handling (or not handling) the COVID-19 outbreak, just ask her. Phrases such as, “I’d love to hear your thoughts on all this” or “This is such a big life adjustment for everyone, how are you finding your way” all open up the conversation to hear from your girl, who needs to talk and who also needs to feel heard and validated.

For more information about raising confident teenage girls, check out: Growing Strong Girls: Practical Tools to Cultivate Connection in the Preteen Years and Rooted, Resilient, and Ready now available on Amazon and Audible and the website Bold New Girls.

 

 

I am a girl advocate and girls champion; the founder of Bold New Girls, teaching and coaching for girls and their parents. As well, I am the author Growing Strong Girls and Rooted, Resilient, and Ready (available on Amazon and Audible). I am an international speaker and an instructor with Udemy. 

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7 Ways to Stay Sane While Sheltering in Place

By Kristin Van de Water

In last night’s dream, I found myself at a rural version of our Manhattan school. Due to the coronavirus, school wasn’t in session, but children with no place to go kept wandering in and sneakily doing relay races from our canceled Field Day, hoping no authorities would notice. I was wheeling a dolly down the hall with a particularly smelly load. Turns out I was the new custodian managing pest control and porta-potties. Excellent. At least I had a job!

Early the previous morning, I woke up from a nightmare in which I had forgotten to show up for my Kindergartener’s remote learning class two days in a row (first a call, then an in-person meeting) because we were at my older kids’ class meeting at a basketball court. So much for social distancing! I had somehow lost complete track of my three-year-old while chatting with another mom. And now I had a message coming through saying that I would need to make up lesson plans about “leech colors” for the Kindergarteners. I groggily googled it. Yep, leeches are those slimy little bloodsuckers. And in case you were wondering, their colors range from olive to maroon. Colorwheel meets science class?

My subconscious mind is doing crazy things right now.

Apparently, I’m not the only one experiencing pandemic dreams. One friend shared how she had dreamt of walking on train tracks after being forced to exit a commuter train heading toward Manhattan and ended up at a coffee meeting with coworkers at McDonalds. Another friend recounted a recent dream where she hugged someone in public, and everyone around gasped in horror.

My daughter just dreamt she shopped at Walmart with her quarantined friend. When they couldn’t find Dad, they swam in a pool tucked between two tables and proceeded to launch a nearby rocket ship to the moon. I guess if we’re stuck inside and can’t see friends, our minds will go on trips without us.

In our current reality where shopping is risqué and high fiving is unheard-of, our minds are bound to compensate when given the freedom to run wild at night. Hence, this spout of crazy vivid dreams that hint at our anxieties and desires.

Taking stock of these dreams has made me realize how important mental health is in a moment like this. Here’s how I’m mentally weathering the coronavirus while sheltering in place with my family of six.

1. Set an Alarm. No sleeping in. With so much out of our control, keep some semblance of normalcy to start the day. For me, this means exercising and meditating on scripture before “school” begins at 8 a.m. Sure, I could find pockets of time to stay physically and spiritually fit during the day. But juggling school Zooms and assignments for four kids leaves me bouncing from room to room and my mind scattered.

2. Stick to a Schedule. When schools shut down last month, we played for a week, spent the second week swamped in school work and new remote learning technology, tried for a better balance between screens and free play the third week, and have settled into a nice schedule here in week four. We hold a family morning meeting at 8 a.m. and then Google Meet with our teachers and complete academic work in the morning. That way, after lunch, we have the afternoon for independent quiet time, unstructured creativity, and an outdoor adventure before dinner and bedtime reading.

3. Get Fresh Air and Exercise. Take a walk, rain or shine. Do jumping jacks on your balcony. Throw a dance party with your kids. With gyms closed and dumbbells out of stock, my husband works his arm muscles with gallons of water. Join your kids for the exercise videos their gym teachers assign.

4. Mind Your Mind. To keep your mind active and peaceful, try sudokus, puzzles, card games, writing, riddles or math games. Don’t lose yourself in a black hole of news or social media. (Consider going on a media fast or setting a timer so hours don’t disappear while you scroll.) To help keep my mind from reeling and calm my anxiety over missing virtual meetings, (thanks, nightmare, for revealing this one to me!) I set up a magnetic whiteboard on my fridge where I jot down all our appointments for the week.

5. Phone Friends Daily. Yes, our phones can do more than text. I have loved the excuse to connect and catch up with friends and family spread all over the county. Check-in with each other and let your mind escape your four walls. If someone pops into your mind, make an effort to call them that day (or the next if you’re swamped). Try a Zoom happy hour with friends or family.

6. Rediscover Your Hobbies. What was missing from our first two weeks of homeschooling was time for mom to curl up with a real book and read. I had just finished my previous novel the day libraries closed, so I had gone without that cherished hobby for too long. My turning point was discovering a Little Free Library at the playground in New Hampshire the kids and I explored while my husband stocked up on groceries nearby. What a blessing to stumble upon that cupboard of books! Thanks to that discovery, I have carved out time daily to enjoy a quiet escape into the world of fiction, helping me regain a remnant of my regular life.

7. Plan Something to Look Forward To. Try hosting a virtual wine club, Cookie Thursday (because that’s when the school cafeteria served cookies), Shopping Trip Saturday, dinner prep dance parties, Family Game Night, or Dinner Doodles (Mo Willems suggests spreading out butcher paper tablecloth and putting a few crayons at each place setting). Rather than letting life devolve into a messy, dark blob, mark the passing of time with celebration and fun memories.

How are you working to stay sane these days?

Kristin Van de Water
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Kristin Van de Water is a former journalist and teacher who relies on humor, faith, and her mom crew to get her through the day. Raising four kids in a two-bedroom NYC apartment, Kristin is always on the lookout for life hacks to save time, space, money, and her sanity.

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Stuck at Home? Here’s What to Do with the Kids Mar. 27-29

by Meghan Yudes Meyers

Some of us have already mastered this remote-schooling gig. Most of us (our hands are raised!) are stilling trying to figure it all out! But the age ol’ question still persists: What do we do with the kids this weekend? Take a break from school work (and work-work) and go on a family adventure within your own four-walls. We have ideas on how to shake it off, rock it out and get crafty. Scroll down for 10 ways to spend your weekend days.

photo: Austin Pacheco via Unsplash 

Be a Rockstar
Hop on to Chrome Music Lab a free platform that lets you experiment with sounds. Record songs, rearrange your voice, or play with rhythms.

Learn to Play the Ukulele 
Take lessons via a live stream (courtesy of Dancing Bear Toys & Gifts). Check out 9 other online lessons, from ballet to cartooning.

DIY Your Drumsticks 
While you’re in the musical groove, make your own instruments.

Have a Potion Party
Make-your-own lava lamp or create a bubbling witches brew. This Harry Potter fun doubles as science time in our book! Get the recipes here.

Go to a Museum
We know, we know. They’re closed! But you can take a virtual tour of some of the world’s most famous places. Check out our guide here.

Make Story Time a Pirate Adventure
Let the family-friendly podcast Story Pirates, a crew of mighty actors and musicians, fill your bedtime routine with tales from the high seas.

Grow a Garden Indoors
You and your littles are going to be spending a great deal of time indoors. Make it greener with these easy-to-make indoor planters.

Host a Comedy Club
They say laughter is the best medicine and, let’s be real, we could all use a good laugh now! Brush up on some pun-y jokes and take turns telling funnies over dinner. Voila, a dinner club!

Get Scrapy
Ran out of craft supplies? No problem. Check out 8 ways you can use scrap paper in your DIY projects.

—Meghan Yudes Meyers

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Just say No to the Homecoming Proposal Production

By Amy Carney

Photo: Riala

Star light. Star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish you may. I wish you might. Be my date on Homecoming Night.

As if teenage guys don’t have enough on their plate, they must now come up with a cheesy proposal presentation to ask a girl to Homecoming (HOCO). He’d better not think of asking her to the dance without at least a decorated poster board in hand.

Why are our sons expected to put on a proposal production to ask someone to Homecoming today?

I have triplet boys. I have a husband. I have a father. I know a little something about men. I know males don’t come up with ideas like this on their own.

This means that mom most likely is assisting son with the plan. Or maybe the high schooler is scrolling through Pinterest for HOCO proposal ideas instead of doing his school work, which is strange. Or perhaps he’s recycling an idea from a friend who’s gone before him so that he can get the nonsense over with.

I have seen prom proposal productions in the past, but the shenanigans have now made their way into the Homecoming arena.

Do boys need to conjure up a rhyme and creatively display it on a poster to invite your daughter to a dance? 

Others take it to another level buying huge teddy bears, shoes, candy and the list goes on. I’m sure the bigger, the better.

That wouldn’t exactly be something my sons would authentically do. And me pushing them to participate, isn’t something I would authentically do, so sorry ladies.

What happened to just a good guy asking a sweet girl to the high school homecoming?

How come that’s no longer enough?

Why do we insist on turning what should be a simple invitation into a production?

Perhaps it’s working for some guys because hiding behind a poster board slogan that your Mom helped you write, is probably easier than actually having to invite a girl face to face using your own words.

And there wouldn’t be anything post-worthy for social media if there wasn’t a production. And we all know how much everyone loves a good photo for the feed.

The HOCO Proposal Production seems like another way to try and one up each other. I’m having a tough time wrapping my head around the concept and why we’re allowing this nonsense to be commonplace now.

My boys aren’t attention seekers, so I guess that they may never go to Homecoming with a date if they have to come up with a cutesy scheme to get a girl to say yes.

Do girls need this type of proposal from boys now? 

Our 8th-grade daughter said she thinks the idea is “cute.” I explained to her that it’s adorable when she and her girlfriends make posters for one another’s birthdays and bring them to middle school to celebrate. There is nothing cute about making a young man design a presentation to ask you to go to homecoming with him.

Let’s not put pressure on kids to have to put on a post-worthy show for what should be a simple invitation to a timeless high school event.

Let’s put our efforts into raising confident and kind young men and women who don’t need a show for social media to feel good about themselves and their lives.

No post-worthy production necessary.

Amy is the author of the book Parent on Purpose: A Courageous Approach to Raising Children in a Complicated World. Her work can be found at www.amycarney.com. She and her retired NHL playing husband, Keith, are raising 18-year-old triplet sons, a 16-year-old daughter, and a recently adopted 13-year-old son. 

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Life Lessons from a Sweet Tooth

By Ruthi Davis

Dear Confessional,

I’m sorry, but life is not “like a box of chocolates,” because if it were, then each bite would be sweet and probably not last more than 10 minutes in my hands (especially if they were filled with caramel). Life, perhaps, is more accurately depicted as that Jelly Belly BeanBoozledⓇ game where you have to spin the dial and manage through your pick—barf, juicy pear, spoiled milk, lime, rotten egg, coconut, etc. Not every experience in life is “strawberry” and “peach.” Some days are just plain “spoiled milk” and “moldy cheese.”

Yes, every day is truly a gift, on both the good days and the ones that feel like a “booger” pick. Whether you spin the dial and life lends you a sweet or foul hand, each moment is a small part of your vast journey in experiencing, feeling, learning, growing, and then back again. Reflecting back on my likely relatable lessons learned in each stage of life, I have received both the tasty and foul jelly beans, too. That is why I feel the need to share this account of my personal rainbow of flavors that I have tasted in each stage of life.

“Coconut” childhood Always trust your instincts and speak up when you need to, right away. Don’t ever feel less than anyone. You are important, smart, and worthy. When you start writing and publishing your first works of poetry, let nothing stop you. You are boundless with possibility if you truly want it. When school work starts to get you down, find a different way to study and learn. Your will to succeed and effort are far more important than the score. Do your best always, and that will be good enough.

“Barf” note to self: When you don’t like your dinner, don’t think you can fool your parents by hiding your bites in a napkin or pushing the food into really small but very tall piles. They always know!

“Tutti-Frutti” teenage years Even when your body doesn’t change as quickly as your friends’, it will happen. Stop rushing it and give it time. Let your full personality bloom to others. Don’t measure yourself so much by school scores and exam results. True success comes from your determination and passion to succeed in what you love—not from a number.

“Stinky Socks” note to self: Please stop picking any zits. Your skin is beautiful and will self-heal—so hands-off—and take out any stress through your writing, not on yourself. When you look back at this time later, you will really appreciate your flawless skin.

“Chocolate Pudding” college life Love yourself more and criticize less. Stop wearing makeup, you don’t need to hide behind a layer of foundation. Wear that bikini with pride—no stretch marks, cellulite, stretched-out skin, or wrinkles yet—and stop worrying about that thigh gap! Your financial struggle will bring out the greatest work ethic and inner strength that you will carry always. You will find a way to pay for school, a car, living expenses, and manage to save a bundle, all while taking a full load of classes and two internships. This work ethic is more valuable than the schooling itself, so stop worrying about the scores and keep pushing on.

“Rotten Egg” note to self: After you discover $5 pizzas, freshman year, and your dream guy asks you on a date, DO NOT squeeze into those black corduroy pants! You will regret bending down. Buttons will pop and tearing sounds will haunt you. He’ll still marry you, though, shameless appetite and all.

“Caramel Corn” career Follow your dreams and don’t settle. Even if you don’t get the job you were hoping right away, don’t stop until you do what you love. The money will come when you don’t give up—work hard and plan your dream into reality. You are worthy, so don’t ever let any manager speak down to you, ever!

“Dead Fish” note to self: You don’t make a good first impression by going cross-eyed and bobble-head sleeping during your first Board of Directors meeting. Your boss WILL take a picture. Get more sleep!

“Strawberry Banana Smoothie” marriage Don’t worry about everything being perfect on your wedding day because the unexpected will undoubtedly happen. Enjoy every second of your special day, soak it all in, and wear flats instead of those fancy high heels. Marriage is incredible and also takes work. Be honest and respectful always. Never go to bed angry. Stop being so stubborn, and admit when you’re a pain and apologize. Don’t forget to keep it hot—less flannel pyjamas and more slinky things, even on “fat” days. He always thinks your sexy, so stop worrying about that post-broccoli bloatation.

“Baby Wipes” note to self: When tensions rise, feed him or let him nap immediately! The hungry and tired combo is lethal.

“Peach” pregnancy Being pregnant is awkward, uncomfortable, tiring, nauseating, and also such an incredible and miraculous blessing. Enjoy every second, because when you’re truly done having kids, you’ll know it—and then you’ll feel old. After each baby, don’t self-shame over your awkward figure for a while. Your body will need time to heal and your emotions time to settle before you get the proper portion and over-carbing issue in check. Give yourself a full year to get back into your pre-preggo body. When it’s time to have each baby, don’t be stubborn—listen to your body and your instincts. Sometimes, your intuition is far greater than a nurse’s or doctor’s assumption.

“Toothpaste” note to self: You don’t need to eat the entire cake, the scale doesn’t lie.

“Berry Blue” mom Being a first time mom is hard. You will be so tired. You will have a hard time asking for help. Sleep more and recharge. You are NOT a machine. Don’t over-sanitize everything—pass around the baby more. Stop micro-managing and let others find their own way. Opinions are just that, opinions—take them or leave them. Don’t use pantry-prowling and shovelling food in your face as an excuse for a break. Remember that when your child melts down, don’t crumble with her. Be the calm in her storm. Be the confident and compassionate one until the dark clouds clear. It is the only way. When the kids argue, let them. Don’t always try and fix everything, it is not your battle. Give them the tools to repair, heal, and step away. Learn from them, as they have so much to teach you.

“Skunk Spray” note to self: Enjoy bringing your baby to the supermarket because when they’re all in school, you won’t have anyone to blame when you pass gas. 

“Lime” back to ME time Having a free moment once all kids are in school will feel strange and will take some time before you stop looking over your shoulder or automatically opening all of the car doors every time you get in or out of the minivan. Take the time to find yourself again. Pursue your true dreams in the few hours you have—you will be surprised by how fast it happens. Wear your body like a badge of honor—you did create four miracles with it. You are not perfect and don’t need to pretend to be. Be real. Be honest. Be selfless and kind, and teach your children the same. They are always watching. Don’t live with guilt or regret. Do what you love and show others how much you appreciate and love them. “You are your own perfect imperfection.”

“Booger” note to self: Really try and get more sleep because your wide-gapped mouth will appear both frightening and morbid when you fall asleep in the passenger seat or airplane. Even though it’s the law of gravity, people WILL stare, take pictures, point, and laugh.

Enjoy the journey and keep learning. Even in the moments that may taste like “canned dog food” or “lawn clippings,” you never know what you’re going to get.

Take every moment with patience, open-mindedness, and willingness to understand—and always remember to laugh, hug, and find thankfulness in any situation.

Remember, it’s not about the flavor of the bean that your dealt with, but rather the experience, the laughter, and the company that makes it all worth while during the game.

With Love,

Ruthi

Photo: Ruthi Davis Photography

Ruthi Davis is a the Founder of Ruth Davis Consulting LLC with over two decades of success in advertising/marketing, media/publicity, business development, client relations, and organizational optimization for a variety of clients. Ruthi is a proud mom and influencer in the parenting and family market as founder of the Superfly Supermom brand.

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