While I was growing up, I absolutely loved Barbie. I would beg my mother for a new Barbie every time we ventured into the toy department. As soon as we neared those Pepto Bismol-pink displays, I would get butterflies and daydream of Barbie’s and my next adventure together.
On one such trip, my mother finally acquiesced and bought me Peaches ‘n’ Cream Barbie. She kept her in the closet and said she would be my birthday gift.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) for me, Peaches ‘n’ Cream sat in her pink box staring down at me with her eternally painted smile through her see-through plastic window. I looked forward to our reunion with eagerness.
When the happy day arrived, I carefully removed Peaches ‘n’ Cream from her packaging, and slowly examined her with the precision of a doctor. She was perfect—she had waist length blonde tresses and big blue eyes. Peaches ‘n’ Cream Barbie was beautiful—and I looked nothing like her.
It’s bad enough that Barbie is a poor anatomical role model for young girls, all unbalanced rack and legs for days. But when I had asked my mother what was meant by “peaches ‘n’ cream,” she shook her head.
“I don’t know,” she had replied.
It was years later that I learned the meaning: a creamy white complexion with a blush of peach. Something I would never have. I was thankful that my 6-year-old self and my 30-something-year-old mother never knew this at the time.
Now that I’m a 30-something with young impressionable daughters of my own, I am determined that they have a doll who looks more like them.
Enter Nahji, from Assam, India. Nahji is part of a collection called Hearts 4 Hearts Girls whose proceeds partially go to helping young girls in the countries they represent, including Dell (USA), Consuelo (Mexico), Rahel (Ethiopia), Tipi (Laos), and Lilian (Belarus).
I immediately purchased this doll for Pumpkin’s 2nd birthday. Never mind that the box loudly stated For Ages 6+ or that my daughter was more interested in the box Nahji came in rather than in Nahji herself. She has dark beautiful hair and large lovely brown eyes. She is perfect—and she looks everything like us.
Jen Kathrina-Anne is a blogger, freelance writer, and graphic designer. When she’s not writing or designing, she enjoys spending time outdoors in the California Bay Area where she resides with her husband and two fearless daughters. Find her at www.hautemommyhandbook.com.
Whether you’re tired of the clutter or just getting the house in shape while you’re home so much, it doesn’t have to be an expensive task. From organizing kid toy chaos to purging your pantry, these dollar store organization hacks won’t break the bank and will give you all the Marie Kondo vibes. Keep scrolling to see some simple ways to stretch a dollar and clean the house at the same time.
Bathroom drawers driving you crazy? Pick up a few smaller bins and boxes to get everything in check. Most of the time, small organizers like these are two or three for one dollar, a major score! Use for hair ties, floss, and anything else that is rolling around in those drawers.
Lots of small bags and clutches lying around? Gran a $1 lid holder the next time you're in the kitchen aisle at the dollar store like The Organized Mama did, and you have instant organization! The simple and versatile holder will keep your purses neat and tidy.
Keep the kids (and yourself) organized when it comes to school lunches. The brilliant minds at Design Improvised created a lunch station that includes simple bins to keep lunchboxes, snacks and containers neat and tidy. We love this idea because it give kids the autonomy to get themselves ready for school.
Nail polish piling up in a box somewhere? Now you can put it on display easily with a dollar store spice rack. Liz Marie shares this simple idea which not only organizes your polish, but prevents you from buying the same shade of pink over and over.
Raise your hand if your bathroom or kitchen sink cabinets are a mess! By Lauren M shows how easy it can be with a few baskets to get all the cleaning supplies and necessities under control.
Pantry a disaster? Whip into shape with dollar store bins like The Social Home! With some careful planning and neutral products, you can store dry goods in both plastic and glass containers that will have your pantry looking like something out of a magazine shoot, no matter how big or small.
Are you scared to open the linen closet because of the overflow of sheets and towels? Kim at Today's Creative Life has put dollar store bins to good use and the result is an organized linen closet. Add in some labels and you'll never end up with a mouthful of falling towels again!
Simple Toy Bins
Easily corral toys with dollar store bins. Choose from a variety of shapes, sizes and colors and simply label to keep multi-part toys like LEGO bricks, marble runs, dolls clothes, cars and more.
Keep your mom mobile in ship shape by using simple plastic shower caddies! They are perfect for storing all your car essentials, like changes of clothes, snacks, wipes, diapers and pretty much anything a mama on the go needs. Castro Family Happynings came up with this idea and it has served her road-tripping fam perfectly!
Want a stylish yet functional way to keep your jewelry tangle free? Use a dollar store wire basket like this one from Smile & Wave DIY and you have instant organization.
Whether you're a creative crafter or your kids love to keep a huge art supply stash, getting organized with dollar store bins is a breeze. Clutter Bug uses inexpensive bins and DIY labels to get her must-have supplies in tip top shape.
You muted your microphone on a Zoom call but forgot to turn your camera off to yell at a child to get back on their kindergarten Google Meet. Your entire team is now terrified of making you mad.
You made an unexpected appearance in said kindergarten Google Meet that you thought was muted but wasn’t. Now your child’s entire kindergarten class is also terrified of you.
You pull on a sweater over your dirty t-shirt ten seconds before a meeting and pop in with a big smile and a bigger cup of coffee.
People constantly tell you that you look tired. Mostly because you are tired. So tired. But you just smile and nod because responding would make more people scared of you.
You have attended a meeting, paid attention, changed a diaper, unloaded the dishwasher, and fed the dog in the last three minutes.
You have been hit in the head with a Nerf dart or some sort of ball during a video meeting.
You don’t wear real pants anymore. Ever.
You are stretched so thin that you think you might not be able to do this any longer.
When you get the rare chance to go to the office, you cherish it. You can be alone and sit in silence and drink coffee and think without hearing crying or barking or the tv or a microwave or screaming YouTubers.
You have had a meeting or important call while crouching in a closet or in the bathroom because it’s the only place your kids can’t find you.
I am a full time working mom with two little boys, Henry and Simon. I write about real life and real life gets messy. Contributor for Motherly, HuffPost Parents, Scary Mommy, Today Parents, Love What Matters and Her View From Home.
In short, I’d say it’s for awareness and education. To make it more common and comfortable for people to see others with differences whether it’s in appearance, speech or behaviors.
I guess because we are so immersed in autism 24/7, I forget sometimes that there are people who don’t know anyone personally with it and it may feel foreign and possibly uncomfortable.
That’s okay! I get it. Before we had Alex, I think I would probably feel uncomfortable if I was standing at a bus stop and someone started jumping and flapping and making unusual sounds. It’s different. But I would love it if this could be put out into the world so people are made aware of it so it’s not scary. People could just be like “Oh, ok maybe this person is different. Let me give them some space or smile at them or whatever.”
Anything new takes time to get used to and feel comfortable with.
What’s not okay is bullying or derogatory language. It still feels like a little gut punch when I hear people say the ‘R’ word. You can come up with any excuse you want, but the fact of the matter is that it is used as an insult. It’s never used to describe something amazing. My Alex also has a diagnosis of intellectual disability and knowing that the ‘R’ word is often used to describe people like my son makes it sting even more.
This is why representation matters.
TV, media, us just being out and about in the community. Not just Alex and our family, but all the families who live with autism.
I feel there needs to be more representation of our kind of autism. We need to put faces to the word for there to be a human connection. People need to teach their kids to be accepting and be kind to people who are different.
The reason I’m writing this right now is that even though it’s 2021, I still see and hear stories of abuse and mistreatment.
Can I tell you how much preparation (both physically and emotionally) and courage it takes for some of us to just take our kids out of the house because we know the stares and judgment we’ll get just for being different? I can tell you how much it would mean to me as a mom, if someone would just show me a little smile, like “Hey, I see you. You’re not invisible. Welcome.” It would melt my heart, I tell ya. That’s all we want. Humanity.
Through our page, I hope that people will see Alex, first and foremost, as a human being who, despite his differences and challenges, also has gifts and a smile that’ll warm your heart, and that he deserves to be treated with the same respect and kindness that everyone deserves. If you feel brave to say “Hi” and he doesn’t respond, don’t take it personally. He can’t always speak, but he hears you and so do I, and it means so much that you tried.
If you see someone out who is having a meltdown, stimming physically or verbally, not responding? Don’t judge. Don’t insult. Don’t hurt or take advantage of. Remember: Different, not less. Just. Be. Kind. I promise you, it feels so much better than the alternative.
Remember, these people are someone’s child, brother, sister, auntie, uncle. They are a person with feelings and emotions just like you. Treat others how you would want yourself and your own kids to be treated.
Hi! My name is Laura and I'm a mom of two beautiful kids in Vancouver, Canada. I write a blog on Facebook called The Autism Ride, all about the ups and downs in life with our teenaged son on the spectrum.
It’s been over a week since the murder of George Floyd. Are you tired? I’ve seen a lot of you say that the weight of the nation is exhausting right now—the anger, the sadness, the confusion, the constant news updates. The fear that you’re going to say or do something wrong sits heavy on your chest. I ask you to sit with that weight, that exhaustion, that vulnerability. It’s so important to do so now more than ever. Why? Because that’s the weight that our black community has been carrying alone for decades. It’s time to carry that burden with them.
The way that you’re questioning every move you make, every word you say, is what POC have to do every day. Those little things build up. Do you text your friend the night before a job interview to ask them if you should straighten your hair because you’re afraid you won’t get the job if you wear it natural? Do you hide your bottle of water before you walk into a store because you’re afraid they’ll think you stole it? Have you ever had to talk to your kids about what to do if they ever get arrested? And those are just the small, everyday things. But they build up.
I’m probably in the minority when I say this, but now is the time for uplifting, hopeful messages. I’m seeing a lot of you say, “We need some goodness in our lives right now.” And while it’s good for everyone’s mental health to carve out some moments of peace for yourself, so that you can smile even just for a second, it’s important that we sit in the hurt, discomfort, and overwhelm right now. Why? Because if we don’t, then this fire that we all feel right now is just going to burn out. We’re going to go back to our everyday lives after a few days of posting meaningful quotes and this will just be another protest that goes nowhere. We owe it to the black community to feel uncomfortable right now.
So I encourage you to spend some time in the dark. In the hurt. In the pain. In the confusion. In the sadness. In the anger.
Natalie Fuertes is the owner of Industry Gymnastics, a gymnastics facility in NYC that focuses on creating a space that is welcoming to all children, regardless of race, gender identity, or sexual-orientation. She is a proud Nuyorican, racial justice advocate, wife, and mama of two.
Beginning on Skyler’s first birthday, I started a tradition of writing a letter to him highlighting his likes, dislikes, achievements, funny moments, family adventures, playmates, and favorite television shows. In addition, I take a photo of him wearing a necktie as a way of charting his growth.
My vision, when creating and continuing this annual time capsule, was to present to Skyler, a ribbon-tied stack of letters and photos containing eighteen years of memories on the day of his graduation from high school.
Coming to the realization, many years following his autism diagnosis, that graduation, in a traditional sense, would not be a likelihood for Skyler was hard. However, it never derailed me from crafting those special birthday letters because I know one day in the future, I will share them with him.
Perhaps the silver lining or renewed perspective of Skyler not fleeing the nest this year, like his peers, is that I am privileged to share his daily experiences and accomplishments into adulthood.
I’m confident the day will come when Skyler communicates to me, on his own timeline, that he’s ready to receive my gift of thoughtfully crafted memories. Watching Skyler read and absorb every word, whether he’s 24 or 44, will be the equivalent of a graduation day to me—and I will be extremely proud.
So, on this eve of Skyler’s 18th birthday, I grabbed a few sheets of the special stationery that is used to pen his letters and a full box of tissues while I revisited every achievement, new adventure and challenge he experienced this past year.
This is my 18th birthday letter to Skyler:
To my handsome and admirable son,
I honestly can’t believe I am writing my 18th birthday letter to you. This past year has brought with it dramatic and unprecedented events both in our world and in your life.
It was around this time last year that the word Coronavirus became a part of everyone’s vocabulary. Due to the severity and vast spreading, our daily routines and public gatherings came to a drastic and lengthy halt.
You were unable to return to your ABA center for almost two months, which was much milder than most of the population who were forced to learn from home for an entire year—causing a significant regression of many skills.
While at home, Josh and I were desperate to keep your communication moving forward, so void of any therapist assistance, I created a PECS board and eventually transitioned you to an AAC device to revisit that method with you.
You clearly appreciated having the ability to make choices for yourself through the pictures which were evident by your smile when we all seemed to understand each other.
For the first time in years, you appeared eager to share your thoughts, needs and wants with us, so when the concept of “Spelling to Communicate” (S2C) was introduced to me, it seemed like divine timing.
Wow! I am SO glad we took that leap of faith and brought S2C into our lives.
Watching you utilize the letter boards to answer age-appropriate reading comprehension questions for the past eight months has been nothing short of incredible.
I frequently feel an overwhelming need to apologize to you, Skyler—for underestimating you and for my failure to recognize how intelligent you are and always have been.
From a health perspective, you have remained at a standstill. Thankfully, you have always been healthy and are very rarely sick. However, the hitting, banging and hair-pulling seem to be on the increase instead of you aging out of those ‘stims’ as I’d hoped.
I’ve never been convinced that your challenging behaviors are “just part of having autism” as we’re so often told and given medications to treat. I know deep in my heart that you’re demonstrating anger and suffering due to Ulcerative Colitis. I promise you that I will never give up researching and looking for answers to improve your quality of life. I pray every day that the solutions will come quickly so you will finally be relieved of your pain.
Despite your constant discomfort, your smile and deep belly laugh, especially when Josh wrestles with you, lights up the room.
If given the option, your daily meals would always include a Qdoba burrito bowl and Tucker’s bun-less cheeseburger with mashed potatoes in the rotation.
Watching Sesame Street, particularly Elmo’s World is still a favorite pastime of yours as is listening to an eclectic array of music. During our countless car rides to nowhere, you bounce perfectly to the beat of any song and launch into a hardy giggle when I freestyle my own lyrics—which are usually about food or bath time.
As I reviewed the very first birthday letter that I wrote you in 2004, a particular statement really stuck out to me. “My hope for you over the course of your life is that you continue to be happy and free-spirited. I want you to always try new things and never let anyone or anything stand in your way. I love the light in your eyes that seek out to learn and never quits even when times get frustrating.”
I didn’t know of your autism diagnosis on that day or even that year.
My greatest hope for you today is the exact same, 17 years later. Please never lose that spark in your eyes and determination in your heart to keep growing and achieving.
I love you with all my heart Skyler, exactly as God made you. I truly believe you were sent into this world as a vessel to teach me, and possibly everyone you encounter, some valuable life lessons.
I am forever grateful that I have been entrusted to guide and nurture you through this life. You are perfect, just as you are.
As I’ve always said, “Out of all the little boys in the world, how did I get the very best one?”
You never thought you would teach a screen filled with missing gaps or a student appearing every now and then as cameras pop on and off.
You didn’t think you would have to find new tools to radiate your creative thoughts, passion, and enthusiasm through the online abyss.
You didn’t know how much you would miss engaging with your students. The simple hello passing by in the hall or the words of encouragement walking through the classroom door.
So many of you are going above and beyond, yet wondering if you are making a difference.
You didn’t sign up for this.
But now, as schools across the country are opening, I’m cheering you on.
I have tears of joy as you are now able to smile in person or give those simple yet profound words of encouragement while looking into the eyes of your students.
I have tears knowing this is where you are meant to be—in the classroom and nowhere else.
I have tears believing you can now fully share your knowledge, within the walls of your creative space, and the gifts you have been blessed with to pass on to others.
I have tears knowing you are filled up each day, through your love of learning while engaging academically and emotionally with your students.
I have tears for you.
For all of you who touch the lives of all of our children.
So as I sit pondering over the last year, it hasn’t been easy but thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you for all you have done for our children and your students.
Ali Flynn Is excited to share with you the joys and hardships of motherhood with an open heart, laughter and some tears. Ali is a monthly guest contributor for Westchester County Mom and has been seen on Filter Free Parents, Grown and Flown, Today Parents and Her View From Home.
They never want your help, unless it’s something they can for sure do by themselves. Like when they want that thing that’s right next to them. But for some reason they cannot actually get it themselves and you just sat down on the other side of the room. Yeah, they want your help then.
You cannot reason with them. You think they should wear a jacket because it’s cold outside? Nope. Never going to happen. You’re either going to go outside without it and they will want to come back by the time you’ve made it to the end of the driveway or you have to try the bring-it-for-them-in-case-they-need it technique.
They will try your patience. It doesn’t matter how patient you are. There are times when it will not be quite enough. This is a stall tactic that they particularly like to use at times when you have somewhere to be or are already low on patience, like bedtime. It’s not that they move at the pace of a sloth, it’s more that they will not focus on the thing you actually want them to be doing. You ask them to go to the bathroom before bed. They will take off all their clothes. Roll around on the floor. Pick up a toy. Go into a different room (that’s not the bathroom). A million other things besides go into the bathroom.
They think they’re in charge. They would like to tell you exactly how every single thing should get done. And exactly what you are and are not allowed to do or help with.
They think you can read their mind. They will yell at you for giving them the wrong color cup. Without ever telling you what color cup they wanted in the first place. They will yell at you for turning off the light, even when they normally expect you to do it.
They can’t make up their minds. When you ask them a question they will say no. Wait a second. Then they will decide yes. It may stop there or they may change their answer a few more times. (Yes, this also tries your patience, but is still a whole category of it’s own.)
They have double standards. They can decide who is allowed in the bathroom with them. But they will not let you decide who can be in the bathroom with you.
So yes, parenting a three-year-old is hard. Thankfully they also laugh, smile, tell you they love you and sometimes they’re just plain fun. And that’s what makes it all worth it.
When Colleen Chulis’ daughter asked her if she could make a video imitating the busy mom of three while working at home, she had no idea how spot on the 8-year-old would be.
Adelle Chulis quickly got down to business at the family’s home office, multi-tasking as only a mom can. Between the non-stop typing and the finger snapping, this video hits close to home!
It’s hard to choose which resonates with moms most: the imminent Zoom call, the crazy dog or the constant sitting down and standing up. We’ve all been working at home a little too long!
Chulis shares with Red Tricycle, “I am so happy that this post gave so many people a smile or a chuckle – This last year has been a challenging one in so many ways, but there are silver linings everywhere. Working parents are doing the very best that they can – and our kids are certainly watching, learning and in this case, getting famous from us!”
Anxiety told this sweet girl to panic. Anxiety told this little one she couldn’t be alone in a room. Anxiety told this sweet one she had to fear, rather than be filled with joy. But you know what anxiety didn’t do? It didn’t take over. It didn’t get the best of her. It didn’t take away her happiness.
This sweet girl took control. She didn’t allow it to strip her from her joy. She didn’t let the thoughts churning inside crush her spirit.
This little girl did the work. She learned strategies to calm her spirit when it was revving up. She practiced relaxation techniques. She took deep breaths and then some more.
This little girl did the work. And now, as a teen, she is thriving. Anxiety creeps in every now and then but she has the tools to stop it long before it attempts to take over.
When I look at her now, I see a calm surrounding her. She has arrived at a place of comfort. She has arrived at a place of peace. She has arrived at a place of confidence.
My sweet girl is a light of hope and strength.
As I look at her now, in social settings talking with confidence, not worrying about the next thing coming and laughing with a joy that deeply fills her heart, I take pause.
I pause and I smile, with tears in my eyes, knowing how blessed she is, how much work she has done and the payoff now of feeling free…
Free from the controls of anxiety.
Free.
And what a blessing for my sweet girl.
So mamas, if your little one is struggling with anxiety, know there is hope. If you are looking for some tips on how to help your little one, turn to your pediatrician or reach out to a therapist for guidance. They have the tools and answers to guide you through this journey.
Ali Flynn Is excited to share with you the joys and hardships of motherhood with an open heart, laughter and some tears. Ali is a monthly guest contributor for Westchester County Mom and has been seen on Filter Free Parents, Grown and Flown, Today Parents and Her View From Home.
