Hilarious Parenting Tweets of the Week

by Red TricycleDecember 12, 2015

From the soccer carpool to the never-ending assortment of mismatched socks, sometimes there are days when you’ve only got a few seconds (or 140 characters) to get in a good giggle. Well, sit back and get ready to scroll because we’ve scoured the Twitterverse for moms and dads that rap about the highs and lows of parenting, and the results are hilarious.

What can I say? We’re rebels.

Read I Love You Stinky Face at my 4yo's Valentine's Day party & a kid told me I had a potty mouth. I bet his parents are suuuuper fun.
— CrazyExhaustion (@CrazyExhaustion) February 12, 2016

2. More wine please!

4yr old son says he wants to give a girl at school a valentine because she can put a whole lollipop in her mouth. (shakes head & pours wine)
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) February 10, 2016

3. Ah, the feeling of relief.

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.” - Dr. Seuss

“Don't cry because it happened. Smile because it's over.” - Parents
— (leans into mic) Meh (@TheAlexNevil) February 9, 2016

4. It’s juice, trust me.

You can lead a toddler to water but you can't make her think it's juice.
— Zoe vs. the Universe (@zoevsuniverse) February 10, 2016

5. When you need a reason to cancel plans…

Can't, teaching my daughter the lyrics to Paradise City.
— Daniel (@dhilliard74) February 11, 2016

6. As long as you don’t ride into my leg again.

4yr old: "Can I ride my bike?"

Translation: "Can you speed-walk beside my wobbly bike and push whenever there's a hint of an uphill pedal?"
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) February 11, 2016

7. That’s better.

5-year-old: I don't want to eat my peas!

Me: I don't like your tone.

5-year-old: *in a high-pitched voice* I don't want to eat my peas!
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 10, 2016

8. When they have a point, but you don’t want the teacher to think you’re cheap.

[filling out Valentine cards for classmates]

6yo: I'M SINGLE RIGHT NOW, WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS?
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) February 11, 2016

9. You just keep nodding your head and act like you’re listening.

20 mins into his description of the school playground my 9yo paused to breathe & I tried to change the subject but HE JUST KEPT GOING WHYYYY
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) February 12, 2016

10. Okay, it’s not about parenting, but still relatable.

I'm sorry I forgot our anniversary. My brain is too full from 90s hip-hop lyrics, up in here, up in here.
— The Glad Stork (@TheGladStork) February 10, 2016

Do you have any #funnyparenting moments to share with the Red Tricycle Community? Tell us in the comments below!

— Noelle Buckband

17 Totally Hilarious (& Relatable) Parenting Tweets

by Gabby CullenSeptember 29, 2015

1. Play time just got technical.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 13, 2015

2. Remember those days when you bought something just because the packaging looked good?

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 15, 2015

3. Used to be, if you were sleeping at 7 p.m., it was because you hadn’t gone to bed until 7 a.m..

— Mike Reynolds (@PuzzlingPostDad) August 27, 2015

4. Cheddar flavor, whole-grain Goldfish cover two food groups, right?

— Father With Twins (@FatherWithTwins) August 27, 2015

5. The Art of Distraction should be taught at new parenting classes.

— Jake Vig (@Jake_Vig) August 25, 2015

6. At least he’s in touch with his feelings.

— Lauren (@WorkingMom86) August 27, 2015

7. We won’t hold our breath.

— Amy Flory (@FunnyIsFamily) August 19, 2015

8. Hey, at least he’s eating a freshly poured bowl. You’ve found yourself eating their leftovers at least once.

— Jill Krause (@babyrabies) May 27, 2015

9. Well, Lincoln was born in a log cabin, so we kinda see her point.

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) June 9, 2015

10. Said most parents, last Halloween.

— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) October 23, 2014

11. Remember, good tunes never get old.

— Martinis & Minivans (@martinisandmini) August 17, 2015

12. Can someone please explain to us exactly why Shopkins are so cool? Is it the extra-rare factor?

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 26, 2015

13. Yikes, so do we.

— Jason English (@EnglishJason) June 2, 2015

14. Well, why else would we have bellybuttons?

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) July 11, 2015

15. Revenge is sweet.

— FᏞᎽ J✨ (@FlyJ_) June 9, 2015

16. It was just a really, really good guess.

— Father With Twins (@FatherWithTwins) August 30, 2015

17. Planning ahead is underrated.

— inappropriate mom (@nicfit75) August 13, 2015

Do you have any #funnyparenting moments to share with the Red Tricycle Community?

— Gabby Cullen

Feature photo: Shardayy via flickr creative commons

Hilarious Parenting Tweets of the Week

by Sara OlsherAugust 25, 2015

1. At what point does this end?
https://twitter.com/CallMeDraper/status/428139188849221632

2. And for science, we reference Wild Kratts.

If I ever have to talk to you about art or classical music, please know I'm quoting knowledge obtained from Little Einsteins episodes.

— monica 🎢 (@monigrms) October 4, 2014

3. Just own it: your house isn’t messy, it’s custom designed by your kids.

Want to know what it's like to have kids?
1. Gather everything you own.
2. Throw it all on the floor.
3. Pick it up.
4. Repeat for infinity.

— Topher Kearby (@TopherKearby) May 11, 2014

4. Sounds reasonable.

My kids are playing a game where the 5yo is the 7yo's servant. Since they aren't fighting, I'll allow it. #proparenting

— ACParent (@AlmostCoherentP) July 30, 2014

5. 10 going on 40…

My 10 yo has just exited the room to take a phone call…..and so it begins.

— Claire (@XclairemckX) August 3, 2014

Do you have any #funnyparenting moments to share with the Red Tricycle Community?

— Sara Olsher

Hilarious (and oh-so-Relatable!) Parenting Tweets of the Week

by rtfrankiekatafiasAugust 20, 2015

1. One of many super-parent powers.

http://twitter.com/lovemyboots111/status/666276227334971392

2. Strange, isn’t it?

My kids are too young to understand democracy, but oddly enough, dictatorship comes very naturally to them.

— Skinnie Talls (@SkinnieTalls) November 17, 2015

3. At least there’s that.

The best thing about being a father is that no matter how bad you hurt yourself, your kids will think it's hilarious.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 17, 2015

4. You can find this parent at the intersection of concerned and impressed.

Me: What did you do at school?

5-year-old: Nothing

Me: You sat there for 8 hours & didn’t do a thing?

5: Yup.

She’s ready for a cubicle.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 19, 2015

5. Why commit to just one?

My kids have eaten one bite out of everything in our refrigerator today.

— яicку (@iinkedZombie) November 5, 2015

6. Like mother, like son.

http://twitter.com/ValeeGrrl/status/667443470362087424

7. Could be worse.

toddlers have constant "resting give me a snack face"

— paperwash© (@PaperWash) November 19, 2015

8. Hey, thats one meal down!

http://twitter.com/XplodingUnicorn/status/667441787473174528

9. Princess meets prison guard.

5-year-old daughter: I played princesses today.

Me: So lots of balls and pretty dresses?

5: I mostly just sent people to the dungeon.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 19, 2015

10. And then secretly disposed of.

http://twitter.com/StellaGMaddox/status/667476470076448768

11. And the other 20% involves potty-training basics.

80% of parenting a preschooler is confirming that he is, indeed, a big boy.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) November 18, 2015

12. Mom: . . .

http://twitter.com/kcmoore51/status/667231521288228864

Do you have any funny-parent moments that are Twitter worthy? Let us know!

—Francesca Katafias

14 Totally Hilarious (& Relatable) Parenting Tweets

by rtfrankiekatafiasAugust 16, 2015

1. Such a sad fate.

3: PART OF MY CHEESE STICK IS MISSING!

M: What happened?

3: *crying* It's gone.

M: Where'd it go?

3: In my mouth because I ate it.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) October 11, 2015

2. Some things are worth fighting for.

Some kids fight over toys.

My kids fight over the front seat like it's front row at the Oscars.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 12, 2015

3. Truth.

If you don't want the whole world to know something do not tell it to a 4yo.

— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) October 12, 2015

4. A good reason to get a dog.

My kids say they're hungry, but all I hear is, we'd like to waste some food now.

— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) October 12, 2015

5. How considerate!

Me: Why did you throw this shirt in the laundry if you only wore it for 1 hour?

7: Because I knew you'd be mad if I threw it on the floor.

— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) October 13, 2015

6. Poor Henry.

Her: DAD! YOU STEPPED ON HENRY!
Me: Who's Henry?
Her: No one now. He is dead. You stepped on him.
Me: I'm sorry.
Her: Say sorry to Henry.

— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) October 16, 2015

7. Every kid’s 5 star entreé.

7yr olds would rather eat 4 day old stale goldfish crackers found in the minivan than the hot meal in front of them.
Savages.

— Beatriz🌻 (@wittwitbarista) October 16, 2015

8. A valid concern.

http://twitter.com/est1975blog/status/654327606733500421

9. 60 seconds of heaven is better than no heaven at all.

My kids were quiet for a whole minute so now I know what heaven feels like.

— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) October 13, 2015

10. Let it go: “The mug never bothered me anyway.”

Made it to that level of dad where I don't even care, I'm just glad there's coffee in it. pic.twitter.com/oZNKPlQrUw

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 16, 2015

11. She’s sassy and she knows it

daddy, can I snuggle in your bed?

-sure, sweetie…come on in

um, no, I mean you need to get out of your bed so I can snuggle alone

— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) October 14, 2015

12. When you forget the punchline…just walk away

http://twitter.com/est1975blog/status/630410811618390016

13. No words…

"Look mom! I'm like a fountain!"

3, peeing while laying down.

— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) October 15, 2015

14. Close one!

7: When I was waiting up for the tooth fairy I saw you tiptoe in my room.
Me: *panicking*
7: Were you trying to see her too?
Me: I SURE WAS!

— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) October 16, 2015

— Frankie Katafias

ML Interest Tag: soccer-carpool

Hilarious Parenting Tweets of the Week

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