ML Interest Tag: speak

Will You Cast the Stone That Will Creates the Ripple of Change?

By Shannon Gainey

Different not less. Let those words sink in for a moment. This small phrase has a large meaning in the autism community. For some, including myself, it has become a mantra, a mission if you will. I share our story simply so you can see this phrase lived out in real-time. Our journey may look and be different, but it is not less in any way, and never will it be.

Unfortunately, there are people who see this phrase and add the word “and” to it: “Different AND less.” They may not say it out loud, but their actions speak louder than words. And the story below is an unfortunate example of this. As a special needs parent, one of the biggest things I worried about at the beginning of this journey was if my child would be accepted for who he is. Will he have friends? Will people see him, the true him, even in the peak of our hard? Or will he be judged? Given up on? Labeled? I was lucky enough for that worry to be put right to bed because from the first moment my son’s therapies started, I knew my son was accepted. And man, did I sleep easier at night!

For the past two years, I’ve been lucky enough to live in this wonderful bubble—where acceptance is given and not earned. Where judgment ceases to exist. Where support is given freely even in the hardest of times. But my days in this wonderful bubble are quickly coming to end. As you continue on this journey, the inevitable happens, and the time comes for you to have to leave your safe space, your little bubble. You come to terms with having to leave the place and the people that love your child the most. The only place besides your village that understands the phrase “Different not less.”

Many parents start to lose that sleep again. All of that worry and those questions of acceptance that you asked yourself at the beginning of the journey start to creep back. And unfortunately, it’s because you hear and see stories like this below. People that should be a parent and child’s safe space, end up treating a child less because they are different. The story below happened in a friend’s own backyard. It tells a story that we as a special needs community wished was fictional, but know all too well exist and is most times even covered up. In this incident, a child’s aide stapled a piece of paper to the child’s head to serve as a reminder for the child to bring his water bottle to school. Yes, unfortunately, you read that correctly. What’s even worse is that when the mother brought this to the school’s attention, it was downplayed. Statements made as if, even true would make this situation okay: The paper was stapled to the child’s hair, not his head. The aide has had a clean record up until this point. There was no “intent to harm.” The aide wasn’t even fired, just written up and moved to a different classroom. It’s these incidents that make me realize that special needs individuals are seen as different and less. And that is truly heartbreaking.

I myself am a licensed Cosmetology Educator. Although I teach adults, the goal as a campus is to create a safe space for all our students. Backgrounds may be different, lifest‌yles may be different, learner types may be different, but what we all share in common is our love for the beauty industry. I would like to think that the same mindset would be true for teachers, school administrators, and aides but unfortunately, it seems we are hearing more and more of incidents like this happening.

So I ask you: When is enough going to be enough? When are people that treat special needs individuals less than going to be held accountable before a mom has to lose it on the entire school system? But more importantly, when are people going to start speaking up when they see someone that is different treated less? How many times does someone have to be made fun of or treated poorly before you say enough is enough? When do you draw the line? The special needs community needs everyone’s help when it comes to this.

Let’s be honest, the world needs everyone’s help when it comes to this. I don’t know about you, but the world my kids live in now is scary. It’s filled with hate and judgment and people thinking their way is the right way. Do you know one thing that will always be right? Treating everyone with respect and dignity. Special needs or not. And it seems like these days, this is not even something everyone can agree on. So until then, I’ll keep using my voice, I’ll stand side by side with the moms that are made out to look crazy because they demand their kids be treated equally, and I’ll keep speaking up when I witness different people being treated as less.

I’ll leave with this quote from Mother Teresa: “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” Are you brave enough to cast that stone when you see someone that is different treated less? As a mother of a special needs child, I hope that you can be. I need you to be. Because those ripples you create can positively impact our world. And I know so many brave individuals that do their best every day to navigate a world not made for them. The least we can do is be that stone for them. Create those ripples. That’s what I intend to do. I’ll continue to cast stones. I’ll continue to make ripples. And my hope is that one day, with your help, those ripples can turn into waves. 

This post originally appeared on Adventures in Autism with Murphy.

Shannon is a proud boy mom, Hairstylist, and passionate Autism Advocate. She lives in New Orleans, Louisiana with her two sons Murphy (5) and Merrick (2).  Murphy was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 3. Follow her family as they journey through Autism together on Adventures in Autism with Murphy Facebook and Instagram page. 

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5 Tips for Moms Dealing with Divorce

By Kara Reynolds

Choosing to get a divorce is one of the most difficult decisions you can make in your life—especially when kids are involved. Regardless of their age, you want to protect them at all costs and ensure the entire process goes as smoothly as possible. Of course, this is much easier said than done, as you may well know. Aside from the legal aspects, there are emotional and parenting issues you have to deal with. At times, these can be more taxing than the financial and contractual details. However, as impossible as it may seem right now, there are ways to care for yourself and your kids as you navigate this tumultuous time in your life. Here are some tips to help you make it through and become an even stronger mama in the process.

1. Give Yourself Time

One of the best things you can do for yourself and your kids is to give yourself time to process your emotions. It’s completely natural to experience panic, confusion, sadness, anger, and a slew of other feelings as you come to terms with the fact that your marriage is ending. In fact, you’ll likely go through the stages of grief as you move forward, eventually reaching acceptance. However, as painful as the process is, it’s best not to rush it. Sit with the pain and allow yourself to break down when you aren’t on mom duty. You’re human too, after all. You deserve to explore those complicated emotions without feeling the need to suppress them 24/7.

2. Don’t Go It Alone

While alone time is essential in processing your emotions, it’s equally important to find others with whom you can confide. Up until this point, it’s likely your husband was the one with whom you would share your thoughts and feelings. Now, you must trust close friends, relatives, or a therapist with the most vulnerable parts of yourself. Of course, opening up to others can be frightening and uncomfortable. However, talking to someone else may provide you a fresh perspective or prevent you from running back to a toxic relationship for the sake of your kids. You might also consider joining a support group so you can be with others who are currently going through or have been through a divorce.

3. Become a United Front

A lack of communication is one of the most common reasons couples seek divorce. However, when it comes time to inform the kids of your decision, you must be able to speak with one another and become a united front before talking to your children. After all, this decision involves both of you, so you should both be present when telling the kids. Moreover, your little ones will likely feel more comfortable and safe if you’re both there to explain things. Prepare for questions and make sure you and your spouse agree on the reasoning behind the divorce so you can answer them clearly and concisely.

4. Avoid Trash Talk

During that first conversation with your kids and throughout the divorce process, avoid trash-talking your spouse. Even if their actions or words were the reason for the divorce, it’s best not to drag them through the mud in front of your children. Your kids don’t need to know all the details of the divorce and, in the end, you still want them to respect both you and their father. Plus, you don’t want your little ones to feel like they have to choose a side—especially when you’re trying to protect them from the messiness of divorce. If your partner is trash-talking you, let your actions speak for themselves and resist the urge to defend yourself. Doing so will only fan the flames and give your kids more reason to turn against one of you.

5. Don’t Make Your Kids Messengers

Even before the divorce is final it isn’t uncommon for you or your spouse to move out and begin splitting time with the kids. If you continue to share custody of the children, this cycle of having your kids and sending them off to see their father will repeat for years to come. During the early stages, many ex-couples use the kids as messengers instead of directly communicating with one another. Don’t make the same mistake. Using your kids as middlemen puts them in the line of fire if an argument were to occur, causing real and lasting damage to their emotional health and wellbeing. Therefore, it’s best to text, call or email your ex privately or meet up and speak in person without your kids being present.

Today Is Not Your Forever

If you’re in the throes of divorce, it may be difficult—if not impossible—to see a silver lining in such a mess. Yet, it’s important to remember that you’re doing this for your kids if nothing else. They deserve a safe, loving home, and divorce may have been the only way to provide that. Find hope in the fact that even if today may be almost too much to bear, it won’t last forever. Eventually, you and your little ones will emerge from the rubble and rebuild your lives together. Looking back, you may find this was the best thing you could ever have done for your kids and their future.

This post originally appeared on Momish.

Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine.  A mom of four and matriarch to her big blended family, Kara wants nothing more than to normalize differences in family structures.  She enjoys peeing alone, pancakes, and pinot noir - but not at the same time. 

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5 Easy Ways to Support your Girl Scout During the Busy Cookie Season

By Brian Weisfeld

Photo: iStock

Moms and dads, start your engines—literally. It’s just about time to load up the car and start moving those boxes of cookies that fans clamor for year after year, right around this time. 

With visions of shortbread, chocolate mint wafers, peanut butter crème and caramel-y goodness dancing in your head, you might be thinking, “How do we get rid of all these boxes and pronto?” At the same time, we’d encourage you to use this season as a way to bond with your daughter, help her learn important life lessons and create memories that’ll last a lifetime. 

The Startup Squad created some awesome tips and great ideas for your daughter, to help her become the best little entrepreneur she can be. To make it easy, we’ve created a convenient cookie-selling tip sheet for her that you can download and review with her here. For all the the parents of Girl Scouts, here are 5 tips to support your salesgirl in training:

Teach your daughter how to speak with confidence. Even if she’s a raging 10 on the extrovert scale, she still may need a few pointers on how to speak confidently with strangers—especially adults and especially the ones she’s asking for money.

“Look people in the eye when you’re speaking to them.”

“Talk loud enough for them to hear you.”

“Speak clearly.”

“Don’t fidget or dance around too much; stand still while you’re talking.”

“Be prepared for what you’d like to say.”

You could even roleplay with your daughter, giving her a chance to practice on you or other family members. That might make her feel more comfortable when she’s ready for the real selling to begin.

Help her think outside the cookie box. By this, we mean brainstorm selling points with her that’ll motivate customers to buy more boxes, so she’s ready to sell more than just the cookies themselves. Sure, most people love cookies. But there might be other reasons people would be willing to support her and her troupe, as well. Where does the money go? And why cookies—how did this tradition originate and what’s the story behind it? What are her goals and how can she talk about them as she’s selling? People are often motivated to buy cookies because, well, they’re good. But beyond that, they may be motivated by an emotional pull or to support a cause. Help your daughter verbalize what that cause is and how she can communicate it succinctly to customers.

Let her “own” her business. It’s so easy to want to step in and do it for her, right? Making the signs or posters, talking to potential customers, setting up a display, helping her write an elevator or sales pitch. But when you take an approach that’s too hands-on, you rob your daughter of the opportunity to learn and grow in valuable life skills. Of course, she needs you for things like spreading the word on social media or helping to carry boxes or just supervising her overall efforts—but for the things that she can do, let her. Even if it means facing a little failure in the process. Learning to fail, then get back up and start again is one of the most important life skills anyone can learn.

Look for teachable moments. If she’s set a goal that she’s in danger of missing, talk about how to pivot and take a different approach or maybe reset her goal to be more attainable. If she’s constantly comparing herself to other girls and measuring her success against theirs, it might be a moment to discuss self-worth and learning to be content with her own strengths and abilities. Or maybe she really wants to sell cookies, but she doesn’t want to talk to people—that’s a great time to introduce her to the concept of stepping out of her comfort zone and pushing herself. Be aware of how she’s feeling, what issues she’s wrestling with and how you can use those things to see the bigger picture and learn important and memorable lessons along the way.

Have fun. You’re selling cookies—how fun is that?! This is a great opportunity to connect with your daughter in a meaningful way while enjoying the chance to do something fun with her, support her and watch her become a strong, confident, considerate young lady. Embrace the process, however imperfect. Put down your phone and give her your full attention. And know this time is precious—it won’t last forever and one day, she’ll crave more independent opportunities where you become her cheerleader on the side while she ventures down her own path. You have an opportunity now to invest in your relationship in a unique way. Have fun doing so.

Happy selling and may you savor every cookie crumb along the journey.

This post originally appeared on The Startup Squad Blog.

I've always built businesses, from a childhood gummy bear business to adult gigs at IMAX and Coupons.com. I founded The Startup Squad to help girls reach their potential and my book series, The Startup Squad, is published by Macmillan. I live in Silicon Valley with my wife and two daughters.

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Thinking About Adopting? Start Here

By Shanise Williams

Adopting a child into your family is an incredibly emotional process that requires a great deal of time. There will undoubtedly be days where you question your aptitude, which is yet another reason why the proceedings are so extensive. The truth is, adoption is not black and white. Many grey areas can play into each situation that can easily take a toll on adoptive parents if they have not done their due diligence. While it will be well worth the effort once you have a baby in your arms, it is essential to prepare yourself for what’s to come. Here are a few ways you can develop your mindset and get your life ready for adoption.

Research Agencies

The first step in adopting a child is to find an agency in your area that aligns with your needs. There are many options to choose from, all of which do things a little differently. Take your time in discovering the distinctions between your possibilities to help narrow down your list. You may even make a list of pros and cons to tangibly see what you are working with and what each alternative offers. This is a huge decision, so it doesn’t hurt to speak with all of your final choices to get a better understanding of what to expect.

Take Advantage of Resources

Once you have finalized a decision about your adoption agency, they should provide you with many resources to assist you in coming to terms with the next steps. These resources may include information about financial assistance, adoption training and more about the approval process. Because you took your time in finding a trustworthy agency that works well with your family, it will be a no-brainer to follow up with every recommendation that will encourage a smooth transition.

Talk with Your Family

It can be nerve-wracking to talk with your close friends and family about your decision to adopt, but it is crucial to have a strong support system while you endure this process. It takes a village to adopt a child. Everyone from the birth mother to the friends of the adoptive parents plays a role in the process, and you will need to have someone (or a whole group of someones) to depend on and trust with your emotions. If you already have kids at home, it is imperative to talk with them about what adoption means and how it may differ from their expectations of getting a sibling—adoption is unique because it gives you the means to gain a child overnight!

Practice Patience

Before you walk into an adoption situation, you know it will be time-consuming. Still, it is hard to fathom how much a setback along the way can affect you until you are in the moment. There is no shame in seeking pre-adoption counseling (actually, it’s recommended) to guide you through the process. It is also beneficial to join an adoption support group to talk with other families who can relate to your feelings. This type of support gives you a place to freely speak about your troubles with people who can provide sound advice based on experience. It is challenging to manage your emotions during such a volatile time. Having individuals to rely on who have felt your pain is a great way to deal with the difficult days and keep an optimistic mindset.

Ready the Home

As a part of your home study, a social worker will visit your place to ensure a suitable living situation for the adoptive child. As you move further along in the process, you will need to start thinking about sleeping arrangements, clothing, and food preparation for your newest addition. Some situations can provide more information in terms of the sex of the child and other needs, but you don’t want to be worried about making these changes as the delivery date approaches. Your agency will also help you with things around your home and offer remedies for any challenges that arise.

Hire a Lawyer

It is recommended to hire an adoption attorney to help finalize the adoption and handle the legal side of things with the courts. You are better off letting a professional take the reigns on the legality of your adoption to ensure everything is completed in a timely manner and to avoid any major issues going forward. It is smart to take every avenue possible to make certain every detail is handled by the book and in the best interest of your child.

Families who choose to adopt are giving a second chance to a child who may not have gotten the best first try. While adoption is by no means an easy undertaking, there is nothing quite like the feeling of expanding your family in such an honorable way. You may be surprised by how your choice to adopt will give you a fresh perspective on life, even more so when you take the steps to make it easier on your family.

featured image: SarahX Sharp via Unsplash

I am a mom of three children and I love to write in my free time. I have loved to write about my trials and success of being a mom as well as the different tips, tricks and hacks I've learned for raising kids.

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How to Choose a Child Care Facility When You Can’t Tour

By Joy Turner

While there have been many downsides to the global pandemic, one convenience that has been born is the growing availability of virtual experiences and services. In the child care industry, many have started offering virtual tours in lieu of bringing parents and children into the facility in person. Whether you’re unable to personally visit a child care facility due to coronavirus precautions or another reason, I recently asked Sharon Lytwynec, Senior Vice President of Operations at Kiddie Academy® Education Child Care, to provide some suggestions on how to get the most out of a virtual tour and she says, “It is absolutely possible to research, tour, and select a child care option for your children without going in person. It’s a little unconventional, but as with many things we’ve experienced and had to pivot during the pandemic, it’s becoming more sophisticated and seamless. Right now, it’s the new normal at most of our Academies.”

What to Look for during a Virtual Tour

Is there a personalized connection? Does the person hosting the virtual tour make an effort to engage with you and customize the tour to address you and your family’s unique needs? Does the tour feel like a stock tour that could be given to anyone? The answers may help you get a feel for what your overall experience as a customer will be like.

  • The person hosting your virtual tour should try to make a personal connection with and learn what’s most important to you and what your expectations are so that they can speak to that during the tour.
  • The child care center’s representative shouldn’t simply list off all of the features of their school. Instead, they should find out what’s most important to you and focus on that.
  • They should use your name and your child’s name throughout the tour.
  • The director or owner of the center should follow up with you after the tour concludes to ensure all your questions were addresses and answer any lingering questions you may have after the fact.

Important Points to Remember

  • It’s important to pay attention to the professional appearance of anyone that is introduced during the tour. Does it look like they made an effort to impress you?
  • Did everyone that was speaking during the virtual tour make eye contact? Even though it’s virtual doesn’t mean people shouldn’t be looking into the camera when speaking.
  • Were they on time? Ideally, someone from the center would be logged on before anyone else joins so they can greet new-comers.
  • Were you introduced to your child(ren)’s potential teacher during the virtual tour?
  • Are they receptive to your child(ren) joining the virtual meeting? You can tell a lot about someone by how they interact with your child(ren). This is also a good opportunity for your child(ren) to meet their teacher(s) for the first time, which can help with the possible first-day jitters.

Virtual Tour Tips

Try to schedule a virtual tour during normal business hours and ask to take a sneak peek in the classroom(s) your child(ren) would be in. It’s much easier to get an idea of whether the children are actively engaged in learning or not. Even better—try to schedule a virtual tour during mealtimes and transition periods such as drop-off and pick up. Even though these times tend to be more chaotic, it’s a great way to see how the school is implementing enhanced safety protocols around COVID-19.

It’s also crucial to ask what type of training and operational changes were made around COVID-19 and make sure you and your family are comfortable with these changes. Look for evidence during the tour that those enhanced health and safety protocols are happening and effective.

  • At Kiddie Academy® Educational Child Care, we made our COVID-19 recommendations available to the public for full transparency and to encourage other providers to borrow and practice what we know to be the best operating procedures during this time.

As with all video calls, it’s important to do a dry run on the platform and ensure there are no snags in the process and internet connection is strong. This will avoid precious time being spent on troubleshooting and instead focus on the tour.

Finally, ask for current customer references. Incorporating a fellow parent’s opinions and answers to your questions may help you make the best decision for your family.

This post originally appeared on Kiddie Academy Family Essentials.

Joy has over 20 years of experience in early childhood education. As Vice President of Education at Kiddie Academy Educational Child Care, she oversees all things curriculum, assessment, training and more. Joy earned a B.S. in Education from Salisbury University.

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How to Make Bilingual Learning Fun & Natural

By H&AL of Habbi Habbi

Photo: @Bilingual.Kiddos

Yvonne, the mom behind Bilingual Kiddos is sharing her bilingual journey —from activities she does with her own kids to tips for us parents. Here’s her story.

Where are you, what is your bilingual background? I am Malaysian-Chinese and live in Australia. I speak English and have studied Chinese and Malay. Prior to having children, I didn’t speak it regularly. My husband and I speak to each other in English because that’s most comfortable and because we live in Australia! This changed after having kids. I started this bilingual journey because I really want to pass on the Chinese language and heritage to my two sons (3 & 1-year-old), and I realized that if I don’t start trying, no one will!

How did you start? I really believe that learning a second language is all about communication and meaningful exposure—and needs to be done in a natural, engaging, and fun matter—not forced. To that end, I try to do adopt things that are:

1. Based on Daily Life: This way it doesn’t feel like “learning” but rather like “using the language.” Some activities here could include:

  • Daily activity naming: I created a printable of things that toddlers do on a daily basis—like “take a bath” or “brush your teeth.” As this is something that they do every day, it gives us an opportunity to name it frequently and reinforce those phrases in a very natural way.
  • House labeling: I try to introduce Chinese characters naturally. So I take construction tape and label things around our house – like door (门 mén) or bed (床 chuáng) or fridge (冰箱 bīng xiāng). That way, when we go to the object, my sons will see it. Sometimes we may name it, sometimes they will just see it. I try not to do too many at once, so it isn’t overwhelming for my son and he thinks it’s a game.

2. Make it Fun: I’m a big believer in learning through play. You find different philosophies in Western vs Asian countries. In Asian countries, kids are expected to read at a young age, so you’ll find the materials are very focused on character recognition and leveled learning. Western countries have more emphasis on free play. Perhaps because we live in Australia, but I try to have my kids learn through play, especially since they are young and just starting out.

  • Layer language on top of play activities: It probably seems very basic but we just take normal play and we layer the second language on top of it. For example, when we do sorting activities which a lot of kids do, I label 5 boxes with 5 colors—I put it on the side and bottom. So when they drop the pom poms into the right colored box, they can see and name the color.
  • Play-based materials: This is actually one of the reasons I love HabbI Habbi. The Wand & Books are play-based and meant to be fun, engaging, interactive. They think they’re just playing, but they are also getting exposure. I value books as a two-way form of engagement (versus something like TV). I think reading in the second language is an important tool, just like it is when learning English.

How do you incorporate Chinese books and reading with your sons? I try to make it regular and give the Chinese books in our house more “space.” My sons gravitate to their English books because it’s the dominant language and because we have more. So I consciously try to pick out the Chinese books by saying things like “What about this one?”

I also made my own bilingual book which incorporates what I care about. I centered it around nursery rhymes because music is such a helpful tool for young kids. Furthermore, it’s based on English nursery rhymes, so it is familiar and relatable—since many kids (and parents!) know the songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

You have the benefit of having knowledge and a basic Chinese language background. What do you think non-native families—especially those who can’t speak or read it—should do? I would start with the parents asking themselves, “Do you want to learn the language alongside your child?” Sometimes my son asks me, “What is this (English) word in Chinese?” and I really don’t know, so I say, “Let’s find out together.” By showing an interest, I signal to my sons that Chinese is important.

I think it’s ideal if we parents can find the time—even if just a little—to learn with them. If not, they can try to supplement by finding a partner for communication like a nanny or a language immersion school. But regardless of whether parents do get into all the details and learn with their kids, I think it’s important to show curiosity, openness, respect, and interest in the language because that says a lot to our kids.

If you step back, what role(s) do you think all of these materials have in building an immersive environment (books, toys, activities, etc.)? Ultimately, communication and usage are the most important. I’m just trying to provide as many opportunities as possible for my sons to hear, repeat, and speak. The question is how. All these tools—books, toys, activities—are just tools to help them engage more frequently, in a way that is fun and engaging!

 

H&AL of Habbi Habbi
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Habbi Habbi Reading Wand & Bilingual Books is the easiest way to start kids on Chinese & Spanish. Just turn on and tap. Every inch is tappable, and our books are as intentional in content as they are beautiful - topics like kindness, emotions, and more. @BeHabbi | habbihabbi.com.

 

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Can Your Child Dream in Multiple Languages?

By Meaghan Hlinka

Can your child dream in multiple languages? All kids have their unique talents and skills, bilingual or multilingual children have the extra ability of speaking and expressing themselves in more than one language. What special powers does this extra language bring them?

photo: Rochambeau The French International School

At Home and on the Playground

•   Improved self-control. Switching between languages activates the same areas of the brain that are active in applying self-control. Regular exposure to multiple languages exercises and strengthens self-discipline.

•  Easier adaptation to new environments. Multilingual children understand that different languages and cultures have different rules, a concept that can help them adapt flexibly to change and a variety of social settings.

•   Stronger ties to family and culture. Children who master foreign languages maintain closer bonds with their family and culture, which can help them develop a stronger sense of identity.

•   More opportunities for making diverse friends. Speaking multiple languages allows students to connect with children from a greater variety of backgrounds and cultures.

photo: Rochambeau The French International School

At School & in the Workforce

•   Heightened focus. Multilingual children are more practiced at filtering irrelevant information and ignoring distractions. Suppressing one language to access another strengthens executive function – the ability to manage time and resources to get things done.

•   Better mastery of home language. Students who study more than one language are more familiar with the mechanics of language in general, from parts of speech to etymology.

•   Enhanced problem-solving and abstract thinking skills. Multilingual people tend to be more competent at understanding mathematical concepts, word problems, logic puzzles, and other essential STEM skills.

•   Greater competitiveness in a global and multilingual workforce. Doing business in today’s world can mean crossing cultural and linguistic borders on a daily basis. Well over half of the world’s population speaks more than one language, and many careers favor multilingual job applicants.

photo: Rochambeau The French International School

In the Community & in the World

•   Increased tolerance and empathy. Studies show a possible link between multilingualism and empathy, perhaps because speaking additional languages requires seeing from more than one perspective.

•   Enriched travel experiences. Speaking the language while exploring another country is not only practical but also makes for a more authentic and immersive cultural encounter.

•   A stronger foundation for learning other languages. Once a second language is acquired, learning additional languages will come more easily and naturally.

•   More meaningful participation in a global community. Understanding other cultures and languages fosters a deeper understanding of our complex and interconnected world – as well as our role in making it a better place.

photo: Rochambeau The French International School

What Is Important to Keep in Mind When Introducing Your Child to Another Language?

Starting early is key, even child who are not yet speaking can benefit from exposure to another language. Everyone knows children learn languages more quickly and easily than adults, so the earlier the better.

Consider multiple languages, learning to learn languages is a skill set in itself. Multiple languages if taught by native speakers can have compounded benefits. Switching between languages activates the same areas of the brain that are active in applying self-control.

Quality is critical, be sure the language instruction comes from a native speaker. Even at a young age, children can recognize the subtle nuances of a language and quality of instruction is important.

Set a goal, a new language takes time. It takes 6-7 years to be become fully fluent in a new language, plan to commit to this language for a significant period of time.

Consider an immersion program, these programs offer dedicated instruction in a new language and provide students with significant exposure to this language. Programs vary from 50% of the day to 100% of the school day in the target language. Different program models exist, most public immersion programs offer the core curriculum translated in the target language, other schools such as the French or International schools provide a dedicated curriculum blending language and culture.

photo: Rochambeau The French International School

Take It From Mom

As a mother of a 3 year old trilingual daughter (French, English, and Slovak) I see the benefits everyday. When she learns a new concept in one language she carries it over almost immediately to the other two languages. We chose to expose her to these three languages because my husband is from Slovakia and I, as a French/American, growing up in the US have always regretted not being fully proficient in both languages.  We tried our best to balance the languages so no one language was more dominant. We started early, during the first two years child care was split between a French speaking nanny and her Slovak speaking grandparents. We set the goal for her to be able to speak fluently with both sets of grandparents and she is there but we are conscious that to maintain this will take more work. We enrolled her last year at Rochambeau The French International School where 80% of her day is in French. The school teaches the French curriculum which is uniform across all French schools around the world and also has a robust English language program based on the core curriculum. We hope the priority we have placed on language learning will give her a strong sense of identity and the confidence needed to study, work, or live wherever she chooses.

Meaghan Hlinka is Admissions Associate at Rochambeau The French International School in Bethesda, MD. Interested in language acquisition, she is bilingual French/English and has studied Arabic, Turkish, and Slovak. A mom to a 3 year old daughter she feels lucky to be able to share multiple cultures with her daughter. 

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6 Ways to Build & Boost Your Daughter’s Self-Confidence

By Lindsay Sealey

Is your daughter (or the growing girl in your life)…1. NEVER confident? 2. SOMETIMES confident? or 3. ALWAYS confident?

If you are like most parents, teachers, and girl champions today, you will likely see that she is wavering between numbers 1 and 2, unlikely to be anywhere near number 3. I am so curious why girls seem to be confident until around age 8 or 9. Then, their confidence wanes, enormously. What happens? Where does this confidence go? And, most importantly, how do we work together to build and boost her self-confidence?

What Is Confidence? 
Put simply, confidence is feeling strong and secure in yourself and your abilities and knowing you are capable of developing even more of your skills and talents to become even more confident. Why does confidence matter? Confident girls feel more happy and healthy. They are much more willing to take risks and show their bravery and adapt to changes. The most confident girls I know don’t spend a lot of time on their devices, they are engaged and involved in many different activities, and they don’t seem to care about what others think of them. Refreshing but rare.

Why Does a Girl Seem to “Lose” Her Confidence as She Grows? 
Girls seem to lose their confidence in a “perfect storm” of changes as they grow. They begin to have an awareness of how they compare to their peers and they start to evaluate (am I taller, smaller, smarter, less smart, as popular, not as popular, prettier or less pretty than so and so?). At the same time, their bodies start to change (at different rates, of course), their thinking becomes more shaped by their perception of how others seem them, and they are sensitive to what others think of them. Since they also need to gain peer acceptance (and fear judgment, criticism, and, ultimately, rejection) they change themselves to fit in. So, it’s no wonder they hold back and shy away from bravery, morph themselves into who others want them to be, and diminish their uniqueness. And, at the very seem time, they have 24/7 access to something called social media—perfected and polished images for them to see and though they love their phones, they do not realize how this is damaging their self-confidence and feelings of “not good enough.” 

Do you see how it is no wonder her confidence diminishes?

How Do We Work Together to Build & Boost Her Confidence? 

​​​​​​​Here are my top 6 tips to help you get started:

1. Be a positive power of example to her: you can tell her to “be confident” but more helpful, you will have to show her how it’s done —with your words—how you speak to yourself and also to others (and about others), with your body language—posture is everything, and with your actions, challenging yourself to speak up when you have been wronged and taking chances that may make you feel uncomfortable. 

2. Together, find examples of confidence in the girls she may be following online or watching on Netflix: talk about why they seem confident and if she is willing to try to emulate these girls in any way. What about Malala Yousafsai, Zendaya, Greta Thunberg, or any of the girls from the Babysitter’s Club Netflix series? Help her find and follow girls who are taking big steps, breaking glass ceilings, speaking up and out, making a difference, and shaping our world.

3. Practice how she speaks: words are EVERYTHING. First, to herself. Instead of, “I am just not good at reading”, ask her to try, “I am working hard on my reading skills and improving every day.” Then, with others. Instead of “I kind of think I might want to try a new restaurant for dinner”, ask her to say, “I would like to try a new restaurant” —clear and concise!

4. Work on her body language: essentially, this can help her feel more confident from the inside out but it also can show others she believes in herself. Body language includes: standing tall, chin out, shoulders back, and good eye contact. Practice makes progress (especially when it comes to muscle memory).

5. Finally, work on her skillset: I promise you, the more competent she feels the more confident she can feel too. To start, ask her what skills and talents she already has (girls tend to discount and discredit the work they have already achieved) from being a good friend, creating videos on Tik Tok, or being your sous chef. Then, ask her what skills she wants to develop—come up with a broad and expansive list that could include: learning to bake or cook; adventuring with hiking, biking, or swimming; starting a group for a fundraiser for the food bank or an environmental club. After all, we want our girls to be “all-rounders.” 

6. Teach her to be brave: taking risks—whether this is making a new friend, ordering for herself at Starbucks, or trying new activities is never easy—and you may need to do this in tandem. Break new skills into small acts of micro-bravery. Remind her that skill development takes time and practice but she has done it before and she can do it again! Finally, teach her that failure is a good thing; it is an opportunity to try again, to improve, and to grow even more. I can’t tell you how critical it is that we build and boost her confidence—not just today, but every day! In the words of the Dalai Lama, “With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.”  

Lindsay Sealey, MA Ed. is an educator, speaker, consultant, and author of Growing Strong Girls: Practical Tools to Cultivate Connection in the Preteen Years and Rooted, Resilient, and Ready now available on Amazon and Audible. She is the founder and CEO of Bold New Girls and Brave New Boys.

 

 

 

I am a girl advocate and girls champion; the founder of Bold New Girls and Brave New Boys teaching and coaching for girls, boys, and their parents. As well, I am the author Growing Strong Girls and Rooted, Resilient, and Ready (available on Amazon and Audible). I am an international speaker and an instructor with Udemy. 

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How to Help Young Kids (& You) Navigate This Election

By Meghan Fitzgerald

Photo: Tinkergarten

You may have noticed, there’s an election coming up…and it’s overall calming effects are exactly what we all needed on top of our pandemic. All irony aside, it feels like our feeds, our conversations and even our quiet moments have been consumed by the upcoming vote—and, no matter your beliefs, the strain of uncertainty and the general nature of the discourse provide a consistent dose of stress. In fact, there’s even a therapist-coined term for an extreme version of the experience—election stress disorder.

As with the pandemic, it’s essentially impossible to insulate our kids from the impact of this election. This means we don’t have to, and probably shouldn’t, shy away from discussing it with them. In fact, we know that talking with kids about elections can increase their engagement in the political process later on. Deborah Rivas-Drake, a Professor of Psychology & Education at the University of Michigan who studies civic engagement explains this phenomenon quite well: “You’re planting seeds that will bear fruit later in terms of their understanding of themselves as civic and political actors who have agency.” 

So, with just a few more days to go, how can we frame the election for kids in a way that helps them engage but also keeps them feeling safe and calm during it? No matter your political beliefs, here are 5 ways to approach the election that are supportive of young kids, and that will likely feel supportive of you, too.

Focus on Democracy
At the end of the day, it’s an enormous privilege and an essential right that we get to vote for our elected officials—and this gives us a simple, powerful and positive focus when engaging kids around the election conversation. Encourage others you love to vote and share your excitement to vote with your kids. To help signal to kids just how special voting is, you can also make voting day feel like a celebration. In Australia, for example, voting day is a holiday featuring special treats like “democracy sausage.” In our family, we plan to eat “pepperoni polling pizza” on election night. Whatever fun you choose to add, a little celebration can help reinforce the importance of our democracy in terms kids can understand.

Give Yourself Space to Process the News
Election coverage and commentary are reaching fever pitch. Turn on your phone, check your feed, drive or walk around your neighborhood, and signs of the election are literally everywhere. Social media algorithms are working in overdrive to keep serving us the election drama that keeps us engaged. So, it’s important to remember that kids watch us as we process these messages, and they see our reactions. 

Often we get drawn in (mom’s distracted…queue the misbehavior!) or we tense up, look puzzled or worried. Kids sense this—we are their source of comfort, and they are wired to notice and respond to changes. To help kids, and to help yourself, try picking a few, distinct times each day to “plug in” and take in election updates. If you can, find a quiet time and space to do it, out of the watchful eye of young children. This will give you the chance to have your immediate response and process the information without raising any alarm bells for your kiddos.

Prepare Kids by Explaining It Doesn’t Always Go Your Way
No matter your politics, you’ve likely experienced disappointment at the presidential polls in your voting lifetime. Even if you haven’t, you can probably imagine how much it hurts. And though these feelings can feel overpowering, as adults with fully-formed brains, in time, we’re generally able to rationalize and talk ourselves through ways it’s going to be okay. For our kids, this isn’t the case. 

Young kids are still learning about disappointment, and they generally believe deeply that we, their treasured grownups, know how to keep them safe and make their world okay. So, it can feel really unsettling to them when we get disappointed. That’s why it’s important, no matter how confident you are about your chosen candidate, to start to introduce the idea to kids that your candidate may lose. At the same time, try to help kids understand that even if your candidate is not successful, our democracy, and our world, will go on. 

Beware of “Them vs Us” Rhetoric & Stay Curious
In our current context, it’s easy to fall into the trap of using “Them vs. Us” rhetoric. No matter how vigilant we are about our own language, we can all find ourselves being triggered to speak in sweeping terms about whole groups of people who do not share the same perspective—especially about issues we really care about. Even if you don’t speak this way, kids can pick up on this language from other people in your family or community, or from the media.

Listen for moments in which people speak poorly about a whole party or group of people based on a belief they have. You can flip this script by explaining to kids that, even though you don’t agree with this group’s beliefs, you also don’t support the negative way they’re being talked about. You can also explain that you know most people are good people, but you just don’t agree with this particular group on this particular issue. 

Perhaps one of the most important things that we can do right now, as parents, is to help our kids foster a practice of listening to one another, asking questions, and taking the time to understand other peoples’ differing opinions.

Double down on Hope & Community
In the middle of it all, try to maintain rituals that help kids feel connected to the people in your community and hopeful about the future. Meeting outdoors is not only a safe way to connect with others, but it also puts everyone in a space that we all share, no matter our political views—our natural world. 

This post originally appeared on Tinkergarten.

After 18 years as an educator, curriculum developer and school leader, Meghan has her dream gig—an entrepreneur/educator/mom who helps families everywhere, including hers, learn outside. Today, Meghan serves as co-founder and Chief Learning Officer of Tinkergarten, the national leader in outdoor play-based learning. 

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School Shootings & the Tipping Point for Teens Who Have Had Enough

By Janet Coburn

Teen activists may hold an answer to school shootings.

I say “may” and “an answer” because each shooting is different. There’s no one reason for them.

There is a common denominator. It’s not a mental illness, or divorce, or bullying, or the Internet, or video games, or no prayer in schools or toxic masculinity—though each of those may be a contributing factor in some school shootings.

The common denominator is that school shootings are, well, shootings. Before we address the contributing factors, we must address that.

To do that, we must talk. Negotiate. Problem-solve. Not rant, spout slogans or pass around memes. Not blame mythical “crisis actors.” None of that will help. Let’s discuss what proposed solutions are feasible, practical, and actually helpful.

This time the kids are taking the lead and speaking up. Mandatory suspension means their walkouts may fail, at least if they walkout until Congress does something, as was suggested.

But other students are speaking out in other ways–talking to the media, visiting elected officials and attending sessions of legislative bodies. Encouraging voter registration among their peers.

And you know, these efforts may fail as well. It’s difficult to get your message across when you’re trying to get the attention of people who live and die by ballots, not bullets.

Here’s the thing, though. With the Parkland school shooting, we may have reached a “tipping point” in our society. Even if legislation doesn’t work, as so many say it won’t, there is a force that can catch the nation’s attention: grassroots activism.

I won’t praise the efforts of the 1960s when under-30s protested and helped stop a war, though I surely could. What I want to talk about is an attitudinal change. Societal change. It can happen and it has happened.

Think about the things that used to be commonplace and succumbed to pressure from groups and individuals.

Smoking is a prime example. Despite push-back from tobacco lobbies and cigarette manufacturers, smoking has tapered off in public and in private. Restaurants started with smoke-free seating areas and now in some states are completely smoke-free. Public buildings and many private ones are too. Smoking around young children is particularly looked down on.

Why? People spoke up, including teens (see truth.org). And society reacted. Look at old movies and how many characters in them smoked. Then look at modern movies and notice how few do. It’s almost like someone realized that these characters are representations of our changing society and perhaps role models for kids, even if only subliminally.

And look at drunk driving. MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) changed society’s view of drunk drivers and prompted legislative change; for example, getting states to lower the limits for what is considered “impaired,” holding drinking establishments responsible for taking the keys from patrons too wasted to drive, and requiring harsher punishments for repeat offenders.

Non-legislative solutions are having an effect as well–the “Designated Driver” idea and PSAs that say “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk.” There are smaller, local efforts too, such as providing free cabs on the holidays associated with over-indulgence.

What happened in both examples was that society reached a tipping point. After so many deaths and so much ill health, individuals and groups decided that the prevailing practice had to change. And change it did.

There are reasons to believe that the Parkland shootings may be that tipping point for change. For the idea that school shootings are not just an everyday reality–or shouldn’t be.

Businesses are cutting ties with the NRA, for one. These are protests that will get attention because they are backed up by dollars.

Sure, many teens (and adults and businesses and lawmakers) will ignore the issue. Even teens succumb to the “it can’t happen here” mentality. But others are saying that it can and does happen anywhere. In elementary schools, where the students are too young to mount effective protests. In colleges, where students should.

And in the surrounding society, people are saying, “Enough already with the thoughts and prayers.” Even sincere ones have changed nothing, and insincere ones substitute for actual change.

Likely the change that is coming will be incremental and slow. And after the tipping point is reached and the mass of everyday Americans demand real answers to school shootings, maybe we can turn to the related factors like acceptance of bullying and the broken mental health care system. Grassroots efforts and public education are key.

But first, let’s listen to the kids. They have the most to lose.

Hi! I'm a freelance writer and editor who writes about education, books, cats and other pets, bipolar disorder, and anything else that interests me. I live in Ohio with my husband and a varying number of cats.

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