ML Interest Tag: struggle

The 3 Tips You Need to Get Your Kids to Sleep

By Nicole Cannon
Partner Content

Pandemic life has been anything but normal but one thing is certain, all moms share the goal of keeping their kids happy and healthy. One key aspect of attaining this goal is helping your family get the best sleep possible. Between winter sniffles, inconsistent school schedules, and daylight savings, even the best sleepers can find themselves disrupted.

In my practice as a pediatric sleep consultant, I have seen a significant increase in preschool sleeping issues over the last year, which I believe directly correlates to the lack of physical and mental stimulation children are receiving during the day. Like many families, you may be finding yourself scrambling to get your family into a healthy sleep routine.

I have partnered with Mommy’s Bliss, one of the most trusted vitamin and supplement brands among parents, as they introduce their new sleep line of melatonin products for kids, three years and older. Sleep products, in conjunction with a steady sleep routine, can help your family get on track. Here are some tips you can start using right now for maintaining a healthy sleep environment for your family.

1. Create a Routine 
I always suggest to my clients that they have a “timed routine” which means to have a set time for bed and not just allow children to fall asleep when they are tired. Over the past year, many  families have been struggling to figure out their new “normal.” Sleep has been all over the map as parents try to balance working from home and keeping their children entertained. It’s essential to maintain a regular bedtime routine that works for your family. Children of all ages do best with consistency so, that’s why a predictable, nightly routine can be the key to a good night’s sleep.

Start with turning off screens at least an hour before bedtime (blue light from screens can delay melatonin), wind down with bath/shower time, or perhaps washing up at the sink, pajamas followed by brushing of teeth. Then move to the bedroom and dim the lights for a few books. At this point, your child can climb into bed and it should take them about 20 or so minutes to fall asleep if bedtime is at an appropriate time. Keep in mind that overtired and under-tired children may struggle more to fall asleep, so keep an eye on that clock! Wake times will vary based on your child’s age and activity levels. Try and stick to this schedule as much as possible but recognize that it’s common to deviate on occasion. After all, sometimes it’s fun to be spontaneous!

2. Use Supportive Resources
You may need to utilize outside resources to help your child wind down before bedtime. Guided meditations and yoga are excellent ways to have your child calm their bodies and minds and settle prior to climbing in bed. Some children are so wound up from their day, especially if they’ve been on screens for a large part of it, and they need a little physical outlet that also helps relax them. Consider reading to your child every single night; not only is it a great part of the winddown routine, but it also promotes early literacy. So, it’s a win-win!

3. Call in the Reinforcements
If you’ve established a good routine, you are using your outside resources, but bedtime is still a struggle, then it is ok to get back on track with the help of a melatonin supplement. Melatonin is the hormone released by your body that aids in sleep. Under the supervision of your pediatrician, this can be used for a short period of time to help supplement your child’s natural melatonin production if their bedtime has gotten far off track. The best way to use melatonin is after you’ve tried to implement a steady routine for at least a week since the majority of children benefit most from routine and consistency. If you are searching for safe melatonin products for your child, Mommy’s Bliss has a new great-tasting Kids Sleep Line crafted with a wise blend of ingredients, including melatonin, magnesium, organic chamomile, lemon balm, and passionflower. They’re designed to work hand-in-hand with a good bedtime routine to help support restful sleep.

For more bedtime bliss resources, visit mommysbliss.com.

Nicole is a sleep consultant and mom of 3 boys with a baby on the way. She's a member of the Association of Professional Sleep Consultants and has certifications in Infant Mental Health and Maternal Mental Health. Nicole views sleep holistically, addressing all elements in a child’s life that could prevent him/her from sleeping well.

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Friends in the World of a Special Needs Mom

By Trista Heffner

girl in boat

photo: Hurrican Heffners

As not only a Mom but also a Special Needs Mom, and many times there comes a point when you realize there are so many feelings bottled up—sometimes you need to let them out.

My knack for details is both a blessing and a curse; I notice little details, and I pick up on things that don’t even register to many people. My mind is a steel trap. I remember events, dates, comments like it’s nothing. So is my heart. I take everything to heart, and I keep it there—whether it deserves to stay or not.

I put my all into everything I do—it’s in my blood. It’s how I was raised. Whether it’s my family, my friends, my job—I dive in headfirst and give with my whole heart. I don’t say no easily or often, for that matter. I’m a people pleaser, and I’m loyal to a fault.

The problem is, with this type of personality, it’s also very easy to be walked all over; easily taken advantage of, or taken for a fool. However as quiet as I can be, I am anything but a fool. I notice everything. Every detail. Every smirk. Every wince. My husband has a personality that allows him to see micro-aggressions in all the interactions he has. I notice micro-rejections. I notice when people I care about don’t react the same to me as they do to other people that we both care about. I’ve noticed them since I was a child. I know immediately when someone is being genuine with me, and when someone is just “getting along to get along.”

I analyze everything. Every interaction in my life. My mind is always racing, and I can’t turn it off. Believe me, I try. The problem is, I always put it on myself. I often struggle to find the words to truly express my feelings, because I feel the energy I receive so strongly. I am a full-blown empath. I feel so deeply, yet I struggle to vocalize the true intensity of those feelings.

When I feel hurt by something or someone, I replay the situation in my head over and over—wondering what I could’ve done or said differently to reach a more favorable outcome. It’s taken a long time for me to realize—and will likely take me years to accept—that sometimes, I didn’t do anything wrong. In reality, not every person who acts nice toward you wants to be your friend. Not everyone has genuine intentions, and much as I want to see the best in everyone sometimes it’s just not there.

It’s so disheartening to see so much selfishness and manipulation in the world today and It breaks my heart this is the world my kids are growing up into. I want to be around forever to protect them from it. But the truth is, I can’t even protect myself. It breaks my heart that even in our Special Needs community, some of the very parents that are fighting for kindness, acceptance, and support for their kids, don’t do the same for other adults unless it benefits them. Through all of these experiences, I find myself still looking for the silver lining. And I remember someone I genuinely look up to saying to “Find The Joy.”

Remembering that, I appreciate even more that I have found a few amazingly supportive, truly genuine friends. The ones who check in on me when I haven’t been heard from in a few days, just to make sure I’m doing ok. The ones that know we’re struggling with lack of sleep and tough behaviors—and check-in to see if things have improved. I have been reminded, consistently, where to focus my time, energy, and love. It’s not the quantity of friendships and relationships in my life, it’s the quality.

This post originally appeared on Hurricane Heffners.

Trista is a mother of two, Allayna and David. David was diagnosed with moderate ASD. She is married to her husband Drew and they live in Wisconsin where she works full-time from home. She enjoys spending time with her family, large amounts of coffee and sharing her family's journey.

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7 Ways to Spread the Love on Valentine’s Day

By Natalie Silverstein

Valentine’s Day is a sweet opportunity for kids to share love and kindness with friends and family. It’s a day filled with hearts, flowers, and candy and serves as a bright spot during the long winter months, especially this year. Like most holidays, it has been commercialized over the years, with store shelves filling with boxes of chocolate, cards, and gifts starting in early January. Americans will spend over $21 billion dollars celebrating Valentine’s Day this month.  Not surprisingly, most people (73% of those surveyed) feel it is even more important to celebrate the holiday this year as we struggle to find happy moments in the midst of the ongoing pandemic. 

Showering love and affection on our children, partners, and loved ones is so important, but I’d like to suggest that we re-focus our Valentine’s Day celebrations just a bit. We can make our kids feel special while also giving them the opportunity to spread the joy of the holiday to others. We can move away from spending lots of money on gifts that people don’t really need and flowers that will end up in a landfill while helping kids flex their “empathy” muscles and experience the warm, wonderful feelings that come from helping and caring for others. 

Here are a few ways to spread the love of Valentine’s Day to those who might be struggling in your own community and around the country.

1. Create Cozy Nights for Kids in Need: Donate new pajama’s to children who are homeless, in foster care, or living in domestic violence shelters in your community. The Pajama Program is a national nonprofit organization that promotes and supports a comforting bedtime routine and healthy sleep for children facing adversity. Since 2001, they have provided over 7 million cozy pajamas and inspiring storybooks to children, as well as critical resources for parents & caregivers to support children at bedtime.  The Pajama Program provides resources to help you host a donation drive, and identifies a local organization that will accept your donations.  Financial donations are also always welcome.  You can donate to the Pajama Program or to a similar organization, Family-to-Family, which provides new pajamas, a soft blanket, and a cuddly stuffed toy to children living in poverty.

2. Give Warmth & Snuggles to a Child in Foster Care: On any given day, there are more than 400,000 children living in foster care in the United States. Together Rising is a national nonprofit working to transform the way children experience foster care.  Around Valentines Day, they spread love and hope by giving 500 Snuggle Kits, which include a stuffed bear and soft blanket, to children in foster care.  Through the buy one/give one program, you can purchase a Snuggle Kit for a special child in your life, and they will give one to a child entering foster care (or you can donate both kits). 

3. Connect with an Isolated Senior: Create colorful, simple valentines with messages of friendship, kindness, and support and deliver them to a local nursing home or senior outreach program. You can also bundle up a stack of letters and send them to Love For Our Elders or Letters Against Isolation.  Both websites provide more detailed instructions and information.

4. Give Dignity & Beauty to Women in Crisis: With just a few small toiletry and beauty items purchased at a dollar store, you can create beauty bags for women living in homeless or domestic violence shelters in your community. Items can include lipstick or lip balm, shampoo, a toothbrush and toothpaste, fuzzy socks, hand lotion, or soap. You can use a gallon zip lock bag, or a small paper gift bag decorated with stickers. Be sure to include a cheerful note wishing the recipient a Happy Valentine’s Day and reminding her that she is beautiful.  

5. Create Valentines for Our Veterans: Our veterans and active-duty military often spend holidays alone or far from loved ones, and receiving a cheerful message from your family can brighten their day immeasurably. Soldiers Angels is a military support organization with a simple motto: May no soldier go unloved.  You and your kids can create cheerful valentines expressing love and support, and mail them (along with a $1 donation per card) to Soldiers Angels.  The $1 donation helps to defer the cost of packaging boxes of valentines and sending them to deployed troops around the world and VA hospitals here in the United States.  

6. Recycle Those Flowers: Have you ever wondered what happens to all of the Valentine’s flowers that remain unsold at the end of the day on February 14th? There are organizations around the country that collect and repurpose floral arrangements, keeping them from landfills and providing cheerful bouquets for seniors in nursing homes and hospitalized children. Some examples include Bouquets of Kindness, Random Acts of Flowers, and the Reflower Project. Through a quick internet search, you might find one of these organizations in your own community.

7. Notice the Heroes All around You: Encourage your kids to write notes of gratitude to all of the many people who keep them safe, teach, coach, and help them, every day.  From the crossing guard or security officer at school, the classroom teacher (whether virtual or in-person), the doorman or maintenance worker in your apartment building, the postal carrier or delivery person—anyone who interacts with your child on a daily basis would be delighted to receive a heart-shaped note, a small box of candy or even a sticky note with a few scribbled words of appreciation. Never underestimate how a kind word or action from you and your kids can change someone’s day and make them feel loved, which is, after all, the purpose and power of Valentine’s Day.

Natalie Silverstein
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Natalie Silverstein, MPH, is the NYC coordinator of Doing Good Together. She is a writer, speaker and consultant on the topic of family service. Her first book Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back was published in 2019 and her second book for teens will be published in 2022.

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Dear Kids, I Hope You Never Thank Me for This

By Melanie Forstall

Photo: Melanie Forstall

I recently saw a young teen publicly thank his parents on social media. It wasn’t a generic, thanks-for-all-that-you-do, kind of post. This one stopped me in my tracks. This specific nod to the parents was, “Thank you for giving me everything I want.”

My first few thoughts lingered around the possibility that this was a status symbol of sorts, enjoyed by everyone involved with giving this child everything he wanted. It rang similar to the current requirement on social media that families need to be super busy. If families today aren’t completely overscheduled, their status is somehow less than. I guess, maybe, if a parent gives a child everything he or she wants, somehow that raises their false status, too?

My husband and I are far less concerned with status, and way more concerned with raising kind, happy kids who will hopefully grow up to be emotionally resilient adults. Probably why this post stood out to me. Neither of us want to give our kids everything they want.

Our kids are talented swimmers. Our daughter, specifically is not only talented, she’s also a very hard worker. She’s willing to practice as much as she needs to remain a strong competitor as well as be a valued member of her team. As a middle schooler, she sets personal goals and works hard to reach them.

This season, her goal was to swim the individual medley (IM). This is a tough race: 100 yards, 1 lap of each stroke, a total of 4 laps. Her goal was to swim it competitively under 2 minutes. After a few weeks of practice, she swam it and exceeded her goal. Next, she set her sights on the championship meet at the end of the month. Before that though, she wanted one more race experience so she requested her coaches pace her in the IM for the next meet.

The day arrived for the meet placements and she was left out of the IM. She looked a bit worried, so I encouraged her to go and talk with her coaches. She did and to her dismay, she was, in fact, left out of the race. I asked her coaches if she could be added to the race, but it was too late. She held back tears but forged ahead and jumped into the pool for practice.

It was a mistake. Her coaches are human and they make mistakes, too.

Her disappointment was compounded for several reasons. Her biggest competition was not going to be at this next meet, giving her a strong possibility of winning the race. Her best friend was going to be there. She wanted one more race experience before the championship meet. She folded under the layers of disappointment and began to cry as soon as we got into the car.

I could have made a phone call. My husband and I could have made unreasonable requests. I probably could have called the board of directors and caused a scene to get my child added back into the race she so desperately wanted to swim. We could have caused a lot of people to do a lot of extra work to make my child happy. I could have gone to extreme lengths to give my child everything she wanted.

Have you seen that quote that encourages you to drink plenty of water and gets lots of sun? Good advice for us because we are essentially houseplants with complex emotions. How in the world can we expect our children to learn how to deal with complex emotions if we never allow them to experience them?

My husband and I could have made unreasonable requests in an effort to relieve our daughter from feeling complex emotions. But how would that have served her in the long run? Sure, it was hard for her but we all have to learn how to deal with disappointment. We have to learn how to accept the fact that people we love mistakes. We have to learn how to accept the fact that not everything in life will go our way.

The one thing I hope my kids never thank me for—giving them everything they want.

As humans, we are hard-wired to struggle. It’s not my job as a parent to keep my kids from ever having to struggle. Instead, it’s our job as parents to give them the tools to properly deal with the struggle.

After having time to be sad and disappointed, we talked with our daughter about what she ultimately wanted. We couldn’t change the circumstances, but it was worth at least exploring what she could personally get out of the situation; what it would take to get a positive outcome from this experience.

We talked with her coaches and after giving it some thought, she agreed to swim the event as an unofficial swimmer. That meant, her times wouldn’t count and she wouldn’t score any points. She couldn’t officially win, even if she technically did. She’d still get the opportunity to have another race experience.

It was a wasn’t everything she wanted.

She was able to live through the disappointment and still see the upside. She was able to accept the reality but still find the positive. She didn’t throw away the experience because it wasn’t perfect.

My job as a parent is not to keep my kids happy. Let’s face it, of all the emotions we have, happy is easy. Our kids do not need practice with being happy.  They do need to be prepared to face disappointment, sadness, and anger.  They need experience in extending the same grace to others that they would want in return. They also need practice in accepting situations for that what they are without  expectations for us to swoop in and fix it.

I hope my kids are grateful for all of the things we do for them, but for many reasons more importantly, I hope they are thankful for the things that we didn’t do.

Melanie Forstall is a full-time mother, full-time wife, full-time teacher, and never-enough-time blogger at Melanie Forstall: Stories of Life, Love, and Mothering. She holds a doctorate in education and yet those many years of schooling have proved to be utterly useless when it comes to actual mothering.

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The Universal Gesture of Parenthood

By Catherine Myman Kaplan

Photo: Catherine Myman Kaplan

There are times when parenthood can seem terribly isolating. Moments where you feel all alone, hoping for a sign or gesture from other parents that you are not by yourself in this, that someone else understands. 

We have all been there. You are in public, your child is fine, the day so far has been uneventful when suddenly a tantrum unlike any other erupts. It could be anything, a sibling breathed on them wrong, you won’t buy them something totally impractical and ridiculously expensive, but now you’ve got to cope with the aftermath. 

Not only do you have to calm down a child who is yelling, crying, and doing that thing with their bodies that only toddlers can do where their bodies manage to be both stiff as a piece of cardboard and as limp as an overcooked noodle but you have to somehow pull off this challenging feat in the presence of strangers. 

Strangers that undoubtedly are judging your parenting skills and finding you lacking, otherwise why would your child be screaming like a banshee? Of course, we’ve been in the flip position too, watching a parent struggle with a child. We know how she feels, and you wish you could let her know she isn’t being judged. That we know she loves her child, even when they are behaving like a crazy beast. That we consider her a good parent having a rough time. 

Maybe we should all come up with some sort of worldwide hand signal that we can flash to other parents to show support and solidarity. Or maybe just give a sympathetic smile and offer a hand. And know that we’ve been there and will most likely be there again.

Catherine Myman Kaplan
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Catherine lives with her husband, two daughters, and rescue dog. She can usually be found reading, compulsively volunteering at her daughters' schools, or glaring at an ever growing mountain of laundry. 

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Need Help Figuring Out Your Kid’s Math Homework? Study Says You’re Not Alone

by Karly Wood

Parents have spent more than their fair share of helping their children with homework the last year, and a new study proves that it can be a struggle.

SWNS recently shared the results of a survey conducted by OnePoll and commissioned by Photomath, of 2,000 American parents with school-aged children to ascertain their math skills and approach to their kids homework. In an unsurprising twist, 56 percent of parents reported “feeling hopeless” while trying to help, and two-thirds admitting to turning to Google to help.

photo: SWNS

It’s not that parents are incapable of math homework. While 79 percent of parents surveyed can actually recall the things they learned in school, nearly the same amount stated it’s harder for them to solve their kid’s math homework (thank you, Common Core).

In a nutshell, parents feel comfortable with their math skills but less so when it comes to helping their kids. The survey found that kids ask their parents for homework help five times per week, but that fifty-four percent of parents will try to get out of helping!

photo: iStock

Jennifer Lee, Vice-President of Photomath shares “As a parent myself, I know these feelings well. We want our kids to succeed, but when difficult subjects like math come up, it’s not unusual for us to feel hesitation or even anxiety come homework time.”

So whether parents don’t remember math being quite so hard, or their kiddos are just learning it differently, they aren’t alone. The next time you’re stuck on that quadratic equation, head to Google (or Photomath) with pride.

––Karly Wood

 

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Working Moms, a Pandemic & Our Breaking Point

By Jamie Johnson

A few months ago, I woke up with a feeling of dread and deep sadness in my chest. My alarm had gone off at its usual time, 4:30 am, so I could have some alone time before my husband and the kids woke up. Even my alone time felt sad, and it’s usually the part of my day that energizes me the most. I cried on the couch as I drank my coffee and did my morning scroll, planning the day and answering emails. I couldn’t kick the feeling of dread in my body.

I did my morning workout, but the endorphins just didn’t help. I listened to my favorite song in the shower, but it didn’t make me want to sing. I simply made it through the motions of the morning. I made my way to work, got my temperature taken at the front desk and headed into my office. Later that morning, something happened that was a slight inconvenience to me and I felt white hot rage running through my veins. It was almost like my brain was on fire. I couldn’t see straight. And this was happening a lot. Almost daily. I was angry.

Was it the global pandemic? The civil unrest? The dumpster fire of an election year? The innocent people being killed in the streets?

It was all of that. Every. Single. Thing.

But it was also something else that the world seemed to be missing out on. I was a full-time working mom. With a full-time working husband. And soon we would need to figure out how to school our six-year-old kindergartener virtually while we both worked our 8-5 jobs. And, yes, we are very grateful to still have jobs right now. But thinking about it made me sweat and my heart beat faster. I became overwhelmed and panicked. But this panic looked different.

I sat at my desk in a catatonic state, with tunnel vision and a ringing in my ears. My chest felt like there was an elephant on it and I was trying not to sob.

“Crying at work is unprofessional.”

“You can’t leave right now, you have work to do.”

“I can’t believe you haven’t done any real work yet, you slacker.”

“You have to be at the office from 8-5. It’s too early to take a lunch break.”

I ended up bolting from my desk at 11 a.m., when I felt it was appropriate to leave, and had a panic attack on my living room floor. I have spent the last three months seeing a new primary care doctor, a therapist and a psychiatrist. My medicine has been changed three times. And it has been the most stressful three months of my life. I have blisters in my mouth and cysts in my armpits.

I’m not asking for a break. I’m not asking for sympathy. I am trying to use my voice to tell our business leaders and our government and those in power that are making the decisions, that we are struggling. And that struggle has created a historic rise in mental health problems and a rise in suicides. We are stressed, tired, struggling, anxious, lost, and some are suicidal. If that doesn’t make you realize we need your help, I don’t know what will.

So what do we need?

We need flexibility. We need to be allowed to be late. We need to be allowed to leave early. We need to be able to work the hours we need from home so we can help our children with their school work. We should be allowed to take a day off to try and figure it all out. We need help financially. We need you to treat us like you would expect to be treated. I know we are working for you and your bottom line, but you have to think about us. We are your employees, your constituents, your friends, your neighbors, the people passing you on the street. And we are tired. We are struggling. We are barely making it day to day. And some of us aren’t making it at all.

Until Next Time,

Jamie

This post originally appeared on Hashtag MomFail.

I am a full time working mom with two little boys, Henry and Simon. I write about real life and real life gets messy. Contributor for Motherly, HuffPost Parents, Scary Mommy, Today Parents, Love What Matters and Her View From Home. 

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7 Creative Ways to Feed Your Kids

By Jennifer Landis

Photo: Hannah Tasker via Unsplash

Some children are picky eaters, while others gobble down practically everything in sight. For those parents who struggle with getting their kids to eat, mealtime can feel nightmarish. Lucky for you, change is possible. Prepare to turn even the most challenging appetites into miniature foodies.

Here are 7 creative ways to feed your kids:

1. Use Fun Utensils. If you have a fussy eater, now’s the time to buy those adorable kid’s utensils you’ve been eyeing at the store. There are forks shaped like airplanes, trucks made to hold tacos, and even plates that make eating a game!

Honestly, with devices like this, mealtime should be just as much fun as playtime.

2. Make Tasty Treats. This tip is twofold. Firstly, if your kids don’t have food restrictions, get in the habit of cooking adult food. Season it as you would your own food and demonstrate how much you enjoy eating it. This is likely to make your youngsters curious enough to try it.

If they grow up eating bland kiddie food, you’ll have a greater challenge transitioning them to adult foods. However, keep in mind that people frequently use salt to season their dishes. While you may appreciate the taste, children require very little sodium in their diet. Instead, focus on other healthy seasonings like turmeric, garlic, and ginger.

Secondly, offer your children dessert if they finish the food on their plate. Frozen fruit smoothies and popsicles can be a sweet but healthy end to their meal. Pretty much every kid has a sweet tooth — making a tasty treat the perfect incentive for them to finish their veggies.

3. Space Out Meals. The human body has limits on how much it can eat at a time. If your child had a big lunch, they might not be as hungry at dinnertime. Space out the meals and offer nutritious snacks throughout the day. Babies usually feed every one to three hours, while toddlers and older kids will eat a mixture of snacks and larger meals each day.

4. Cook Together. Do your children help in the kitchen while you prepare their meals? Cooking together is a terrific way to teach them about nutrition. As they help you prep dishes, they can try new ingredients. By involving them in the process, you are sparking their interest and imagination. If they’ve helped you make the dish, they’ll be much more likely to try the food.

As a bonus, your children learn vital life skills that will be useful when they move out of the house. Many people struggle with cooking, and teaching your kids will help them cultivate these skills early.

5. Form Interesting Shapes. You can transform most foods into something fun and interesting with a cookie cutter or stencil. Everyone knows that a star-shaped lunch is much more fun to eat than a basic square sandwich! You can apply this same method to other foods like fruits and vegetables.

If the ingredients are difficult to cut, you can position them on the plate to form an image or word. Even a simple smiley face is more enjoyable than shapeless blobs of food. While distracted by the unusual designs, your kids won’t mind feeding themselves. For an educational twist, ask them to name the icons you made.

Easy shapes to create include:

  • Stars
  • Triangles
  • Letters
  • Numbers
  • Faces

6. Invent Wild Names. Sticking with the theme of making mealtime fun and exciting, try inventing wild new names to pique your child’s curiosity. These can range from entirely different words to fun descriptions that will make trying new things an adventure.

Some examples include:

  • Broccoli, also known as miniature trees.
  • Bananas, also known as monkey food.
  • Grapes, also known as tiny juice balloons.
  • Carrots, also known as x-ray vision carrots.
  • Pretzels, also known as tree branches.

7. Eat at the Same Time. Do you eat at the same time as your child? Some parents choose to eat separately because they’ve only had time to prepare their kid’s meal and not their own. Break this habit by cooking more meals that are suitable for the entire family. A quick toss in the food processor will make atypical meals soft enough for your toddler to enjoy. However, make sure to follow safety suggestions regarding portion size and consistency to avoid potential choking hazards.

Besides encouraging your kids to try new foods, eating at the same time teaches them the importance of family mealtime. They’ll learn they have to wait at the table while everyone is finishing, which means they’ll have more time to nibble on their leftovers.

Look Forward to Mealtime

Using these creative tricks, your kids will be looking forward to mealtime. Remember to stay positive as you try these various methods with your family. Some will be more successful than others, but the key is to remain enthusiastic and optimistic. Children can sense things, and if you’re worried or stressed, it could impact their actions.

Keep an open mind, and feel free to try variations of these ideas. Maybe bright colors will interest your child more than fun shapes—do what works for you and your family!

Jennifer Landis is a mom, wife, freelance writer, and blogger. She enjoys long naps on the couch, sneaking spoonfuls of peanut butter when her kid's not looking, and binge watching Doctor Who while her kid's asleep.  She really does like her kid, though, she promises. Find her on Twitter @JenniferELandis.

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This GoFundMe Aims to #EndDiaperNeed (& It Only Takes $18 to Help)

by Erin Lem

If you’re looking to give back and make a measurable difference in a family’s life this holiday season, but don’t know where to start, turn to The National Diaper Bank Network (NDBN). They recently launched a GoFundMe to help struggling families provide diapers for their children. With one in three families experiencing diaper need, it’s time to read on to find out more about this campaign and how a donation of only $18 can provide diapers for one baby for one week.

photo: Nathan Dumlao via Unsplash

It’s no secret that families are struggling—both emotionally and financially—because of the global pandemic, In fact, the NDBN estimates that they are giving out 50% more diapers now than before COVID-19.

Their solution to help increase donations and awareness? NDBN partnered with GoFundMe to launch a centralized hub with verified fundraisers to #EndDiaperNeed. All donations to this GoFundMe will go directly to the National Diaper Bank Network of more than 240 diaper banks across the country.

It only takes a modest $18 to provide diapers for one bay for one week. A donation of any amount means that babies will stay dry and less exposed to health risks and families won’t have to worry about choosing between diapers for their children versus paying for rent, food or utilities.

As of time of publication, the GoFundMe has raised close to $57,000 of the $100,000 goal. To donate and learn more visit the campaign here.

—Erin Lem

 

 

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How a Parenting Coach Helped Save Our Family (& My Sanity)!

By Jenny Michaelson

The days full of anger and frustration seemed to be outweighing the days full of joy and satisfaction. My kids and I were locking horns over screen time every single day. I was struggling to get them to follow any limits, complete chores, or finish homework before getting on their devices. I was at my wit’s end and worried that our relationships were deteriorating into dangerously negative territory. 

Seeing my desperation a friend of mine recommended that I “talk to someone.” Therapy didn’t seem like the right fit. I didn’t need emotional healing, I needed a practical solution in the here and now. But my friend corrected me, she meant a parent coach, not a therapist. I was puzzled. I had heard of life coaches and executive coaches, but not parent coaches. She told me that like other coaches, parent coaching could help support me to make the positive changes I so badly needed.

I was ill at ease enough to look into it. After doing some research I decided to contact a parent coach. From the very first call, I felt relieved that I had someone to help me. Coaching, I learned, was going to help me get in touch with my parenting priorities and values around screen time. It was time to block out the noise of the internet searches, parenting books, and advice from family and friends and tune into what I really wanted for my kids and my family, and not just about screen time. Combined with her expertise in child development, we would get me to a better place. I wasn’t sure I could fit coaching into my busy schedule but I set aside one hour each week for 10 weeks and it was worth it. For the first time, in a long time, I felt hopeful.

With the guidance from my coach, I was able to see that some things were actually working for screen time at my house, even in spite of the challenges. While they were on the screen more than I wanted, they were using it to learn new skills and connect with friends playing games that were interactive and collaborative.  

We spent one session formulating my dream. The ideal family life that I was longing for without all of the tension and struggle around technology. We spent a session talking about my strengths as a parent and my children’s strengths. I am really good at talking with my kids about things and making sure they know how I feel. They do well when rules are clear and they have a voice in decision making. Then we used the strengths to design the steps I would take to make my present day to day match my dream. 

I engaged my boys in conversation when I wasn’t feeling charged or anxious and we were able to come up with some screen time parameters that worked for everyone. I had homework and there were times that I had to step out of my comfort zone. But each week I took a small step towards creating limits and boundaries around screen time making sure my kids were part of the process. It wasn’t perfect and it didn’t resolve everything, but it made life easier and I felt the joy return to our household and in my relationships with my kids. 

Coaching is also about engaging in self-care because it is an essential part of generating the high energy and focus that is required to be a parent. It is so easy to let it go when there is barely enough time in the day to maintain a balance between work and family. I came up with the self-care that works for me.  It felt doable, just 10 minutes a day to take a walk, meditate, or write in my journal.  On days when I followed through (not all of the time), I was more patient with the kids.

While having a better screen time balance in my household was the reason I sought out a parent coach, I came away with so much more:

1. I have a better understanding of my parenting style, new confidence, patience, and presence in my parenting. 

2. I finished coaching with a stronger connection to my strengths, values, and priorities for my family and can draw on those when making difficult parenting decisions.

3. I learned to take care of myself and how that increases my energy reserves and patience to parent from a more grounded place.

4. I try my best, even in the hardest situation, to find a positive frame and look at what is working in my situation as a way to approach the next inevitable parenting challenge. 

I am grateful to my friend for introducing me to parent coaching. In this day and age when so many people are raising kids without the help of extended family around, and now so many of us are isolated from our regular communities due to COVID, it is nice to know that there is a resource out there to help. 

This post originally appeared on True North Parent Coaching.

I'm Jenny Michaelson, Ph.D., PCI Certified Parent Coach®. I live in Oakland, California with my family. I love supporting parents through my practice, True North Parent Coaching. Together we uncover strengths and develop strategies to make transformational changes to overcome parenting challenges and bring more joy, ease and fun back to parenting. 

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