ML Interest Tag: time-for-yourself

Pandemic Parenting: Managing Stress without Substances

By Britannica For Parents

Photo: Britannica for Parents

COVID-19 has caused both an increase in our stress levels and a rise in alcohol sales. We asked mental health experts for tips on how to relax without pouring that glass of wine.

The COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted the lives of families and created stress for parents and children alike. While many popular memes joke about drinking as a normal response to parenting stress, it’s harder to find evidence-based advice on reducing and preventing stress and how to recognize an overreliance on alcohol.

Let’s start by acknowledging that parents are feeling a lot of pressure. More than a quarter of parents surveyed in June 2020 told researchers that upheavals in daily life caused by the pandemic have had a negative impact on their mental health, interrupted their ability to support their families, and cut them off from their social support networks.

Families with young children have been hit especially hard as their access to child care has been severely limited. In almost half of the cases where parents reported their mental health had suffered, they had also lost their usual child care arrangements.

Changes Are Hard for Both Parents and Children

Kevin Basil is a single father and licensed social worker who counsels children and teens in Pennsylvania. Since schools closed in mid-March he has conducted regular video sessions with his clients and their parents. “At first it was this panic with the kids being out of school,” he said. “We take for granted that children will struggle with change, but we forget how difficult it is for parents to make those adjustments.”

The parents he works with have begun to adapt. The biggest challenge he sees is their aversion to dealing openly with their struggles. “Parents often have a ‘grin and bear it’ mentality,” he says. “They see the value of the coping mechanisms we teach the kids—mindfulness, journaling, deep breathing, reframing—but they think because they’re adults they’re supposed to just keep it together.”

Kevin suggests that the tools therapists teach aren’t only for children. “Anger management, impulse control strategies, a lot of them overlap. Adults aren’t that different.” Positive personal habits are always useful, but they are particularly important right now because social support, a highly effective way to reduce parenting stress, isn’t as accessible to most families. Kevin recommends a few ideas for dealing with stress as well as positive coping skills.

  • Deep breathing is available to most people at any moment. Stress causes us to breathe more shallowly, while deep, slow abdominal breathing helps us feel safe.
  • Journaling can have a cathartic effect similar to talking with a friend. Once you have written down a problem or worry, you don’t have to hold onto it any longer.
  • Self-care time means taking as little as 15 minutes to do something pleasurable. Kevin recognizes this can be especially hard for parents of young children, who may need to talk through their barriers for making time for themselves with a friend or therapist

More Positive Coping Skills

1. Shift Your Perspective

Researchers report that what we see around us affects our expectations. After stress-scrolling through social media, we may be more inclined to expect and notice negative behavior from our kids or partner. Conversely, after focusing on good news, we’re more likely to see the positive in those around us.

Similarly, when we reframe our situation in a positive or neutral light, our mood becomes more positive. Instead of fretting about kids’ lost time in school, we can tell ourselves that these difficulties will give them a better appreciation of the good times to come. Even just saying, “that’s life,” can be a helpful way to look at hardships. And when we feel more upbeat, we’re usually more effective parents.

2. Cut Yourself Some Slack

This is a hard time. Plan to avoid things you know will be stressful. If you know your kids will fight over a certain toy, it’s fine to discreetly store it in a closet for a few months. If sending out a holiday card with a perfect family portrait is going to stress everyone out, give yourself permission to use a family selfie or skip the portrait altogether.

This is also a good time to deliberately slow down. Give yourself extra time to get the kids ready for bed or through a difficult online lesson. It is well known that young children take longer to do almost anything and rushing stresses them out, so reducing that time pressure will help everyone.

3. Focus on Self-Care

Researchers make a distinction between meaningful happiness and self-gratifying happiness. The first boosts your energy and mood, the second is fun only until it ends. To make the most of your self-care, choose activities that inspire and calm you, whether that is making art, listening to your favorite music, chatting with a good friend, or just sitting outside. Time in nature has been shown to help with depression and anxiety. If you can’t get outside, watching a nature video or looking at pictures of green landscapes will give you this boost too.

If you want exercise to elevate your mood, double dip by choosing something that gives you meaningful happiness, whether that is gardening, playing catch, or shooting hoops.

What’s the Big Deal About One Glass of Wine?

If social media is any indication, “wine o’clock” happens for most families shortly after the kids are in bed. For many people, it’s not a big deal.

Kevin has five years of sobriety, so he doesn’t see alcohol as beneficial. However, he understands that for some parents a glass of wine or a beer is just one part of their winding down process, and not necessarily harmful. “But when it becomes more glasses or a bottle, or you think about it all day,” he says, “it’s becoming a need, not a want. It’s not just a part of your winding down process, it’s the thing that’s keeping you going.”

Alcohol is both legal and socially acceptable, which can make it hard to know if your relationship with it is leaning towards dependence. Kevin says the key is to watch how you behave around it. “If someone is enjoying a drink because it’s relaxing and tastes good, cool. But when you’re putting the kids to bed early so you can have it or you’re hiding it, or any of those obsessive behaviors, it’s not healthy.”

Kevin mentions that most parents who rely too much on alcohol aren’t truly alcoholics. If they adopt healthier coping mechanisms they will find their stress is lower and they don’t crave that evening drink as much.

Kevin recalls being 21, in college and raising his infant daughter. “I know how hard it is when you have to juggle all those things. It is hard to find time for yourself and not feel so overwhelmed,” he says. But parents need to realize they can’t pour from an empty cup.

“A lot of parents think their focus should be exclusively on taking care of the kids; they don’t realize that not taking care of themselves makes that all the harder,” he says. “Therapists always use the example of the oxygen mask on the plane: Always put yours on first. People don’t realize how sound that directive is because you’re no use to anybody when you’re a hot mess.”

It’s normal to struggle right now and the advice in this article can help. However, if you feel life is becoming too overwhelming, please contact your doctor and review the resources below.

Learn More

Bee, Ellen, “COVID-19 Advice from Family Therapist,” 2020
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Coping with Stress,” 2020
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor
Haack, Lauren M., “Parents Need Stress Management Too!” 2020
Mayo Clinic Staff, “Depression and Anxiety: Exercise Eases Symptoms,” [n.d.]
Parental Stress Line: 1-800-632-8188, 24 hours, interpreters available
Perris, Jaime, “Beginning Mindfulness Practices for Families,” 2020
Rakal, David, “Learning Deep Breathing,” 2018
Wood, Janice, “Survey: COVID-19 Stress Taking a Toll on the Families’ Mental and Physical Health,” 2020

Sources

Batenburg Anika, and Das, Enny, “An Experimental Study on the Effectiveness of Disclosing Stressful Life Events and Support Messages: When Cognitive Reappraisal Support Decreases Emotional Distress, and Emotional Support Is Like Saying Nothing at All,” 2014
Buehler, Roger, Griffin, Dale, Peetz, Johanna, “The Planning Fallacy: Cognitive, Motivational, and Social Origins,” 2010
Cartwright-Hatton, Sam, Abeles, Paul, Dixon, Clare, Holliday, Christine, and Hills, Becky, “Does Parental Anxiety Cause Biases in the Processing of Child-Relevant Threat Material?” 2014
Cohen-Cline, Hannah, Turkheimer, Eric, and Duncan, Glen E., “Access to Green Space, Physical Activity and Mental Health: a Twin Study,” 2015
Forbes, Chad E., and Leitner, Jordan B., “Stereotype Threat Engenders Neural Attentional Bias Toward Negative Feedback to Undermine Performance,” 2014
Fredrickson, Barbara L., Grewen, Karen M., Algoe, Sara B., Firestine, Ann M., Arevalo, Jesusa M. G., Ma, Jeffrey, Cole, and Steve W., “Psychological Well-Being and the Human Conserved Transcriptional Response to Adversity,” 2015
Gillath, Omri, and Karantzas, Gery, “Attachment Security Priming: A Systematic Review,” 2019
Golding, Sarah E., Gatersleben, Birgitta, and Cropley, Mark, “An Experimental Exploration of the Effects of Exposure to Images of Nature on Rumination,” 2018
Kang, Min Jeong, and Camerer, Colin, “fMRI Evidence of a Hot-Cold Empathy Gap in Hypothetical and Real Aversive Choices,” 2012
Gunnarsdottir, Hrafnhildur, “Parental Time Pressure and Financial Stress—Challenges for Mental Health of Nordic Children and Adolescents,” 2014
Lorber, M. F., “The Role of Maternal Emotion Regulation in Overreactive and Lax Discipline,” 2012
Norman, Luke, Lawrence Natalia, Iles, Andrew, Benattayallah, Abdelmalek, and Karl, Anke, “Attachment-Security Priming Attenuates Amygdala Activation to Social and Linguistic Threat,” 2014
Shiota, M.N., and Levenson, R. W., “Turn Down the Volume or Change the Channel? Emotional Effects of Detached Versus Positive Reappraisal,” 2012

Britannica For Parents
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

We’re living in a time when it’s nearly impossible to distinguish fact from fiction. Parents need information they trust to help them make good decisions about raising their curious learners. Britannica for Parents provides safe and credible resources to empower all kids and parents and inspire curiosity for generations to come.

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Yikes! This Pandemic Has Made Me Feel like I Was a New Mom Again

By Meghan Fitzgerald

It finally clicked for me that the challenge of parenting in quarantine feels far too familiar—for me, COVID-19 is a flashback to my first days of motherhood.

Nine years later, here I am. Same sudden, sweeping type of change. New and overwhelming burdens and external expectations that, somehow, we can continue to maintain our former and new realities at the same time. And, no clear sense of when this heavy time will lift and life will return to the way it was.

How to manage this second round of new parenthood level stress? I try to imagine I am talking to the new-mom me nine years ago. What do I wish she had known or thought to do in this moment?

1. You are doing enough. You are enough.

In the following list of things I’m about to rattle off to you, you may find a lifeline–that is, any one of these may help you manage all of this better. But, remember, you’re already doing enough—even if you take none of the following advice. Your baby (or, now, your kids) really need you more than anything—the real you, not some ideal you. You are right by their side (even if that feels smothering right now). That alone gives them support, security, and love that transcends any technique, any approach or anything you can provide. You are all your child needs. Just try to remember that and get through each day, one day at a time.

2. Sleep, as much as you can. 

Prioritize sleep when you can get it. It really is like putting on your oxygen mask first in turbulence. You will be a better help to your kids, coworkers, and partner—not to mention a better, healthier and happier you.

3. Go outdoors as much as you can. 

Scientists know that all you need is two hours per week of time outdoors to experience restorative benefits—hurrah! And, we’ve learned that you can make “outdoor” time for yourself, no matter what kind of green space, if any, you have at home. Find out how to hike safely with kids during this time, or read more about how to bring the outdoors in when you are stuck inside. 

4. Keep the humor flowing.

My wise colleague recently wrote about the importance of humor and laughter after her daughter noticed that her mom hadn’t laughed in a while. Read more here about how helpful a little humor can be, and how it’s okay to be silly, even, if not especially during tough times.

5. Reflect on what went well.

First, at the end of every day, ask yourself: What went well with the kids today? Sometimes it’s obvious. Other times, you have to look past moments you know were not your best to find a tiny nugget of success, sweetness, or affirmation. But, at least one is always there—and those moments put wind in your sails. 

Second, try to identify something for which you are grateful. This is one we do as a family during dinner, too. Focusing on gratitude has been proven to help you sleep better, feel more positive emotions and be a more compassionate and kind person. It may even help boost your immune system.

I have taken to writing my answers to both of these questions in a notebook next to my bed. No matter how rough the day, it helps me end on a better note. 

It’s funny, but just knowing that I am going to write in my notebook each night helps me notice sweet moments with the kids more during the day, and I am more attuned to the things for which I am grateful. So, not only do I put myself in a better place for sleep, but I am also seeding my day with positivity. 

There are silver linings to all of this. My kids are outdoors even more than they were before. They are loving the chance to play—and play is having a really big moment. I also get to see some amazing moments of joy and learning (sprinkled between the sibling squabbles) that I would not otherwise have caught. However you can do it, notice, and shine a light on these positive things—they are lifelines that can buoy us through this storm.

6. Meditate.

My husband, co-founder, and partner in all things, meditates for 10 minutes right after he wakes up every day, and he has for years. As a new mom, I envied his “ability” to do that but didn’t realize then just how doable it really is. Since COVID started, I have been trying to fit in the same dose of meditation right after I put kids to bed, and I must admit, on the days when I build it in, it makes an impact. I look forward to the quiet time, and even 10 minutes of stillness gives my body and mind a calmer end to the day. There are many reasons to enter into meditation—for the spiritual benefit and to manage stress. To find an entry point, start with a trusted app like Headspace, Calm or Insight Timer.

7. Exercise, however you can.

In my heyday, before kids or COVID, I ran for three miles nearly every day. I felt like I was flying, and my challenges seemed to settle into place with every step. Now, I can’t remember the last run I took, let alone a run that felt that good. But, I have been able to build in little bits of exercise. I just needed to set more realistic expectations and focus on a stress relief goal. Every morning, the kids and I do a 7-minute workout together. We try to go for a walk every afternoon and make those walks even longer on the weekends.

Helping the kids build mindfulness and movement into the week’s schedule has helped too. Ivy is a huge fan of Cosmic Kids yoga, and my bigger kids love Stop, Breathe & Think Kids to help stay centered.

Nine years ago, I thought I could do it all. But I am a bit more humble (and tired) now than I was then. Hopefully, I’ll listen this time!

This post originally appeared on Tinkergarten.

After 18 years as an educator, curriculum developer and school leader, Meghan has her dream gig—an entrepreneur/educator/mom who helps families everywhere, including hers, learn outside. Today, Meghan serves as co-founder and Chief Learning Officer of Tinkergarten, the national leader in outdoor play-based learning. 

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9 Tips to Help Get Your Kid to Wear a Face Mask

By Kristen Messina

Photo: Annie Tlusty

With the freedom of outdoor summer fun waning and the school year quickly approaching, are you lying awake at night wondering what school might look like for your family? Will you be trapped at home with distance learning? Or will your kids be going back to school? When you hear that kids, as young as 3, will be required to wear face masks at their school and daycare this year, do you think “Masks? I can’t even get my kid to wear shoes!”?

You aren’t alone. Just take a breath, because you’ve got this. As a parent, this is the kind of challenge you deal with all the time. And we know it’s essential if we want to keep safe, stop the spread of the virus, and have things get back to something approaching normal and as a parent, you know there is always something you need your kid to do that they don’t want to do. It’s part of your job keeping your child safe and healthy.

The advice we read on the parenting blogs, hear from our pediatricians, and our mom friends is always the same…be creative. Invite them to take ownership. And don’t turn it into a power struggle. Like with vegetables, we’re told to engage them in gardening or food preparation and they will enthusiastically eat what they grow or make. When you bring them into the process and give them ownership of the process, they happily embrace it. You can use this same theory to get them to wear a mask. I have seen it work with my own child and others!

Here are some ideas to try if your kids are struggling with wearing a mask:

1. Explain: Use non-threatening and age-appropriate language to tell your child why they need to wear a mask. For example, tell her that when we cough, sneeze, or even breathe too close to someone else, our germs can travel from our body to someone else. Even if our own germs don’t make us sick, they can make someone else sick. We don’t want to spread our germs to our friends, neighbors or teachers. Masks help keep those germs from spreading.

2. Make It Fun: Allow your child to choose from a selection of colorful and kid-friendly masks. Kids are more likely to wear something they find fun or appealing. And if they pick it out themselves, they will have a sense of ownership and independence. Put a mask on a favorite doll or stuffed animal. Draw one on their favorite book character. Point out that superheroes wear masks. Maybe they want to wear a cape with their mask!​

3. Engage: Involve them in the process: If you are crafty, help them sew or make their own mask. There are many tutorials for simple masks online.

4. Decorate: Give them a simple blank mask that they can decorate with fabric markers. They can even make or decorate masks for the whole family to wear, building a sense of “team spirit.”

5. Empathize: No one actually likes wearing a mask. You can say, “It’s frustrating that we have to wear masks,” or “I’m sad too that we have to do this.” Show your child pictures of other children or superheroes wearing masks. And of course, make sure they know we are all in this together by wearing your own mask.

6. Rules: Let them know that wearing a face mask is a rule right now. Explain that we often have rules in place to keep each other safe. Like looking both ways before you cross the street. You can show them the signs at the entrance to most buildings or businesses.

7. Togetherness: We really are all in this together. If your family finds this challenging, you can be sure you are not alone. When your child gets to school and sees the other kids wearing masks, they will be more likely to go along.

8. Change It Up: What works one day with your child, may not work the next. Be creative, try different things. And by all means, reward your child with lots of hugs and togetherness. Wearing a mask can make a person feel disconnected. Reward them with quiet time together coloring or reading.

9. Don’t Stress: We are all at least a little overwhelmed right now, which is not the best recipe for good parenting. Just make sure to take a little time for yourself to destress every day. Our kids are more likely to listen when we are patient and calm.

If you have your own ideas or stories from the trenches, please share them with us or tag #BringItMasks on Facebook or Instagram.

​Sources:
www.healthychildren.org

www.childrensmercy.org

 

 

 

An artist and designer, I left a career as Hollywood set decorator for a new creative pursuit, motherhood. Having a child reconnected me with the joy of making things and recently, that has meant masks. BringIt! organic cotton face masks are designed to be comfortable, breathable and beautiful in 3 sizes for the whole family.

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Motivate Your Kid to Do Their Chores With These 3 Simple Steps

By Dr Bethany Cook

Photo: Dr. Cook

Allowing and offering your children age-appropriate chores is a great way to free up some time for yourself. It also builds self-confidence in your children as they successfully complete tasks that improve the flow and functioning of the family home/system.  

Having the ability and inner strength to follow through with the boring but necessary task in any job is a gift that will forever be with your kids and set them up for success in whatever career path they choose. Plus, you may even get a few minutes to put your feet up and finish that drink before you hear “Mom, can you help me?”.                              

1. Bedazzle the Boring: This is your first task in teaching your children basic life skills. Find a way to make it fun. (Again if they are young you don’t have to try very hard…just give them your undivided attention for 5-15 minutes and teach them a task). If they are teenagers you might have to get a little creative to get them excited about mundane tasks that are necessary to keep a home running smoothly. 

You can buy different and or funny dishwashing sponges, let them choose the scent of the soap, and maybe purchase gloves they can wear when doing dishes. Curtail the argument by providing the appropriate tools to be successful.  

If you have wood floors strap some rags to their feet and have a “dance cleaning” party as you scrub and polish. Share with them a story about your own childhood when you were learning the same task. Were your parents kind or harsh? We all enjoy doing things when we are having fun…so show them how it’s done.

2. KISS: (Keep It Simple Smartie): A task should be broken down into parts and presented in its most basic form.  

When my children were around 2 years old one of their daily jobs was to help me feed the dogs. They had 3 steps:

  1. Open the food bin (AKA: lift the lid).

  2. Measure out the food with the measuring cup (make it successful by using a measuring cup that they can “fill” which is the appropriate amount). 

  3. Dump the food into the dog bowl (it helps if the dogs are trained to sit and wait until released or they could hurt small children in their excitement to get to their food).  

 A non-dog example: matching socks. 

  1.  Gather the single socks and spread them out (a bed, dining room table) and have your child “find the match.”

  2. Make it a game and whoever finds the most matches wins. Or for those non-competitive homes, you say something like “We are all gonna work together to find matches and once we find as many as we can we all get something special (whatever your reward system is…try to avoid always using the same reward and keep food or extra screen time at a minimum. Instead of food rewards, you can create a “success chart” and add stickers for each task completed. Once your child has reached a certain number they get: 1:1 time with you at a park/movies, to invite a friend over for a playdate, request their favorite family meal, earn money, get an extra ½ added to their curfew, etc.) 

  3. Put matched socks away in their proper drawer.

3. Mean What You Say and Say What You Mean: Just like Mary Poppins, I’ve learned that being kind but firm and consistent with expectations/offering privileges makes it easier for all parties involved. Much of my professional work with parents is helping them understand they are not doing their child any favors by letting them “get away” with bad behavior “just this once” (which is a slippery slope to start down). 

Often, the parent reluctantly admitted when they let things “slide” it was because it was inconvenient for them to stop what they were doing and help their child complete the required task. Some have even admitted they didn’t realize the long-term impact of not enforcing rules when their children were young and they are now “paying for it” as they struggle to manage their teenager who doesn’t have a strong foundation of basic expectations and respect for self and others.  

Every day, we as primary caregivers pick what battles we want to fight with our kids, and by the end of the day, we are exhausted. I get it. Nevertheless, that feeling shouldn’t override the need to get up “one more time” to show your child how to complete a required task.  

They won’t need constant hand-holding forever if they are empowered to confidently complete tasks that benefit themselves and the family at the moment.  We all want to feel needed and helpful.  So let them. 

Guess what? That’s it. Make the task fun, keep the steps as simple as possible, enforce them as kindly and positively as you can, and be consistent in your expectations.   

When my kids start to argue with me about completing a task we both know they can do I simply say “This is on you. You chose to not do it and privileges will be lost.”  

Don’t start yelling and arguing. Calmly let them know this behavior won’t be tolerated and revisit it once they have chilled out or completed said task.  

I’ve found that if my children don’t know what “privilege” will be taken away, they are usually more willing to be compliant. However, they definitely know if I threaten to remove something…I’m not joking because I’ve consistently followed through with consequences.  

This isn’t to say they can’t change their behavior and earn the lost privilege back. I’m not running a prison. We all have momentary lapses in judgment and these shouldn’t be a “life sentence” for the rest of the day.  

My goal as a parent is to raise individuals who can accept their shortcomings, fix the problem, and then move on toward being the best they can be. 

I am a 42-year-old biological mother of two young children in a same-sex relationship, a clinical psychologist with a specialty in neuropsychological assessment, a music therapist, a trainer of therapy dogs and ex-communicated Mormon from Indiana with a wicked sense of humor. 

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Self-Care & Survival Strategies: 3 Books All New Moms Should Read

by Eva Ingvarson Cerise

As a new mom, you may feel like you don’t have time to read a book, but self-care is important and a good book is a great way to get some me-time and feel like yourself again. These three books change the parenting game for new moms, with answers to all your new-mom questions, genius self-care strategies, plus support and laughs along the way.

Self-Care for Moms by Sara Robinson, MA

Simon & Schuster

Yes, you can (and should!) be making time to take care of yourself as a new mom. This book shows you exactly how with ways to find fulfillment even when you're super short on time. If you can carve out just 3-5 minutes in your day, there are nearly 30 suggestions for how to make them meaningful to you! There are also ideas for how to fill larger chunks of time, from 15 minutes to a few hours to even a day (or more) to yourself, as well as techniques to help you find this time for yourself in your busy routine. Written by a mental skills coach trained in helping people change the way they think to create positive behavioral changes, this book truly can change your life, one self-care step at a time.

Available at amazon.com, $10.69.

The Little Book of Support for New Moms by Beccy Hands & Alexis Stickland

Countryman Press

Specifically written for new moms, this is a survival guide to help you adjust to the "fourth trimester" (the 12 weeks after your child is born) and your new life, both physically and emotionally. Written by a doula and a midwife, it shares tools and advice on healing your body post-childbirth, adjusting to your exciting but challenging new role as a mom, maintaining your relationship with your partner, and retaining your identity amid all your new duties. From questions you were too embarrassed to ask to advice you didn't know you needed, it contains short and sweet tips on everything you're dealing with, in an easy-to-find format. Perhaps most importantly, these valuable tips can build your confidence and give you the tools and perspective to more fully enjoy all aspects of your life post-baby.

Available at wwnorton.com, $17.95.

Mom Babble: The Messy Truth About Motherhood by Mary Katherine Backstrom

Abingdon Press

If you aren't familiar with Mom Babble or Christian mom blogger Mary Katherine (MK) Backstrom, check out her Facebook page, which includes the super funny viral video that got her on The Ellen Degeneres Show. Her new book features 40 hopeful and hilarious essays about motherhood and family. As MK herself says, “My hope for this book is that it can serve as a collection of winks and nods, from one mother to another. That my honest, messy stories of motherhood might encourage your spirit, the same way so many of you have inspired and encouraged mine over the years. I hope that when you hear my voice in these stories, you hear the voice of a friend who is waving at you from within the pages."

Available at amazon.com, $17.49.

featured photo: Oleg Sergeichik via Unsplash

—Eva Ingvarson Cerise

RELATED STORIES:

Advice to New Moms from Moms Who’ve Been There

Win Back 30+ Minutes in Your Day, New Moms!

10 Quick, Easy Self-Care Tips for New Moms

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A Parent’s (And Personal Trainer’s) Guide to Staying Healthy & Active

By Geoff Tripp

Many struggles and uncertainties have emerged with the current situation, but one thing is certain; our need to move and stay active. Since gyms are not considered essential businesses, most, if not all gyms are closed due to COVID-19, putting a damper on many people’s fitness regimen.

Homeschooling, care-taking, and virtual playdates, on top of all other non-parenting duties, is zapping away any free time to slide in a workout and get the heart pumping. It is important for us now more than ever to not just focus on keeping our mental health healthy, but our physical health as well. 

But the million-dollar question is, how? With no gyms, no in-person personal trainers, and no support, how can parents remain healthy and active during a mandatory shelter-in-place order? It’s absolutely do-able. Here are my tips and tricks on how to maintain a healthy lifest‌yle for you and your family.

Get into the Rhythm

With having the kids at home around the clock, it makes it difficult to have a little time for yourself and slide in a couple of workouts a week. For you to get active, you will need to set aside some time—my tip is to establish a workout schedule. I know for parents, like myself, time is limited, so let’s start with tips on how to make time and get moving.

You’re going to need to get organized, build a solid schedule and rely on teamwork. First, you and your partner need to lay down the framework for what will happen every day of the week—it sets the foundation for consistency. Elements to think about include work schedule, homeschooling, family activities and any miscellaneous tasks that are constant in your family’s life such as start/end times and meals/breaks throughout the day.

Second, you and your partner are going to divide and conquer. This will help you both focus on work and obligations to then shift focus on family and then yourselves. Lastly, “teamwork makes the dream work.” Before I set my schedule, I discuss it with my spouse to compare, plan, and adjust our time accordingly to then divide and conquer effectively.

Get Physical

Now let’s get moving. Physical activity can take many forms and can be done pretty much anywhere. An hour in-home workout, running around with the kids in the backyard, and even chores, such as mowing the lawn, can have you breaking a sweat.

Explore the Outdoors

Go outside! Fresh air does the body good, especially when you have been cooped up inside your home for a long period of time. There are plenty of activities you can do outside that will get your heart pumping and make for a great cardio session; running, biking, hiking, even a 30-minute walk.

But wait! Before heading outside, it’s important to keep in mind that practicing social distancing even if you’re outdoors is important to avoid getting in contact with the virus. Like yours, a lot of families are looking to get some fresh air and get active outdoors. When choosing your outdoor workout location, ensure that the area doesn’t have high numbers of people present and has enough space for social distancing if you and your family encounter others.

Try Virtual Workouts

This is a popular way to access quick workouts; all you need is the internet, space, and a little bit of time. From quick 10-minute workouts to 60-minute cardio killers, there are great resources available online that offer countless fitness videos and tips by trainers you can do right in your living room—even your kids can join in on the fun! One thing I make sure of is to look for credible workouts led by certified trainers, reputable fitness organizations such as ACE, NSCA, ACSM, TRX, Peloton, and EXOS.

Play with Fitness Apps

Fitness apps are a great tool to help you stay on track of your fitness goals. Now more than ever, it is important to have someone in your corner rooting you on to keep you motivated. The Trainiac App does just that. With virtual one-on-one coaching, custom weekly workouts, extensive comprehensive progress tracking, the Trainiac app connects you with a personal trainer that builds you a personalized workout plan based on your goals, equipment that you have on-hand and your workout time frame. This will allow you to accomplish your fitness goals in your own space, on your own time, all while keeping your focus on what matters, staying healthy for not just yourself but your family as well.

Establish Healthy Habits

Being active is only half of the commitment to staying healthy; nutritious eating is the other half. For some, being at home has a positive impact on their eating habits; less temptations, no random work snacking, no complimentary sugary drinks, and no end-of-the-day happy hours with colleagues, etc. However, a lot of people are having trouble with keeping healthy eating habits due to easy accessibility and stress

Some delicious and healthy snack combinations to take into consideration are fruits with nut butter and veggies with hummus. Just like we want to limit our processed food intake, we want kiddo snacks to be balanced with proteins and healthy fats. Skip the boxed fruit juices and stick to water or freshly squeezed juices. I’ve found that when my kids help make snacks and meals, they learn more about what they are eating and what good nutrition looks like. Next time you are preparing a fruit salad, ask them to help you prepare it.

Certainly, the pandemic has influenced our personal and family schedules but with some small adjustments, you can maintain some normalcy. You might have to use a milk jug as a dumbbell and have the kids join in on your workouts, but breaking a sweat together just might be the ticket to staying on track with your health and fitness goals during the pandemic. 

Geoff brings a passion for health and fitness and over a decade of exercise programming experience to Trainiac. He spends his free time training for Ultra Marathons and resides in a small mountain town in Washington with his wife and two young children.

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5 Tips for When You Are a Parent and a Caregiver

By Kendra Madsen

Photo: Nikoline Arns on Unsplash

Being a parent is one of the most demanding jobs out there, but being a caregiver on top of it all can be completely overwhelming. You might feel like you’re drowning in responsibilities and have almost no time to meet your own needs.

The good news is, you’re not alone. Over 65 million people in America serve as caregivers in some way, shape or form. Whether you have a child with special needs, or are caring for an aging parent, there are resources available to help you. Let’s take a look at some of those resources, and some helpful tips for how to balance your time.

1. Hold family meetings

One way to find a healthy balance as a parent/caregiver is to hold regular family meetings. Your family needs to know that they are just as important as the person you are taking care of. Meeting together gives everyone an opportunity to share how they’re feeling and provide input.

Try to create an open environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing. You can also use this time to provide updates on any changes to your family member’s medical care or daily routine. These meetings don’t have to be super formal, but choosing a set day of the week or month can be helpful in managing expectations.

2. Ask for help

If there’s one universal truth about being a caregiver, it’s that no one can do it alone. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. Help can take many forms and will look different for everyone, depending on your circumstances.

You might have the funds to hire a nanny to watch your kids part-time or pay a professional to take care of your loved one while you run errands. If you’re on a tight budget, ask family members for help or try trading babysitting hours with a neighbor.

There are also a myriad of resources available to caregivers depending on the illness or disability of your loved one. For example, the Alzheimer’s Association operates a 24/7 help line, and the National Alliance for Caregiving offers free guidebooks. Even Facebook groups can provide some relief from like-minded people.

Be sure to take advantage of community programs for your children as well. Many after-school programs offer financial aid, and organizations like 4-H or the YMCA can be extremely helpful.

3. Keep track of finances

Chances are, the person you’re taking care of has funds available to help ease the financial burden of being a caregiver. However, your time and money will be stretched thin, especially as a parent. Create a budget and stick to it, and save as much as you can. You never know when a medical emergency will arise.

If your children are school-age, look into getting financial assistance from the school lunch program. Some Title 1 school districts even offer meals during the summer to help out low-income families.

There are also a few options you may be able to take advantage of such as long-term care insurance and community outreach programs dedicated to helping caregivers.

4. Update medical coverage

Enrolling in Medicare (for those over 65 or on disability) can be tricky, which is why you should review your loved one’s policies. Make sure to update their policy during the annual open enrollment period or when any changes arise, and avoid penalties for late enrollment.

Your loved one may also be eligible for Medicaid—government subsidized healthcare—so be sure to find out the specifics of your state’s coverage and apply.

5. Take care of your mental health

Depression is a common side-effect of becoming a caregiver, which is why you should make your mental health a priority. Here are just a few ways to combat feeling depressed and overwhelmed with your circumstances:

  • Find ways to stay active

Chasing after toddlers is a workout on its own, but doing some additional cardio throughout the week will give you endorphins and build your stamina. Go on walks with your loved one if they’re able to leave the house and get your children involved. Yoga is another great activity for caregivers because it increases flexibility and relieves stress.

  • Eat a balanced diet

As any parent knows, this can be extremely difficult when time is scarce. If you have room in your budget, try a food subscription service like Hello Fresh or Blue Apron to take the stress of meal planning off your shoulders. Otherwise, be sure to work fruits and vegetables into your family’s daily routine wherever you can.

  • Get outside

Vitamin D is one of the best ways to fight off depression so take advantage of any opportunity to get outside, like checking the mail or walking the kids to the bus stop—just be sure to wear sunblock. For cloudy climates and winter months look into buying a happy light to keep indoors.

  • Take time for yourself

This advice probably sounds the least achievable, but carving even a few minutes out of each day for yourself can work wonders for your mental health. Read a page from a fun book, write in your journal, meditate or take a hot bath after the kids have gone to bed. Whatever you choose to do, make sure it’s something you enjoy.

  • See a therapist

If you do start to feel depressed, see a therapist right away. Therapy often carries a negative stigma in our culture, but there’s no reason to feel embarrassed about seeking help from a professional. If you had a broken leg, you would see a doctor to get it fixed. Mental health is just as important.

If you’re still feeling overwhelmed after reading this, don’t worry. With time, you’ll fall into a rhythm that works for your family. Just remember to seek help from friends, family, professionals, and organizations specific to your situation. Finding balance as a parent and a caregiver can be difficult, but it is possible.

Kendra is a writer for Eligibility.com who loves healthy living, the outdoors, and obsessing over plants. When she isn’t writing, Kendra can be found exploring the mountains with her puppy or curled up at home with a good book.

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Finding Your Goodness During Quarantine

By Amelia Johnson

Every day I sit across from my son’s face, and watch him do zoom calls with his class. This time, this weird strange time has brought about so many different emotions and feelings inside of all of us. Some have found that they can handle it. They can get through, and some have found that it’s just too much.

Mostly I’ve seen bread. So much baking. The virus has changed our world in so many ways, for the better and for the worse. We have found love in many different places that we didn’t think we could find it—in our neighbors, in stores, in delivery people, and mail carriers. Everyone has had to step up their kindness game. There are acts of love every day I see on my walk. Chalk on the ground telling you to keep going, that there is a universal love, that we’re all in this together. Neighbors checking in on the elderly, asking if they can do grocery shopping, their cars washed, if they need anything. Delivery people with masks and gloves, risking their lives to keep going for you!

I have figured out the things that work and don’t work for us, and I guarantee it’s not the same for everyone, but it helps to hear stories. It helps to find the goodness or the good moments in the day or week. Homeschooling is hard for me—mainly because I am not a teacher and I have a precious son who wants me to be a part of every single assignment—but also because I have a 5th grader who’s common core math is way above my head.

The other hardest thing for me has been navigating grocery shopping and cooking (and baking) for my son with celiac. I used to have a grocery routine. I would go to three different stores to find the right gluten-free food product. Now, I mostly count on grocery delivery and some of them don’t get it right. Although this is a minor problem in the overall world right now, it’s been a bit of a challenge. And, baking gluten-free (which I want to do as stress relief) isn’t going too well.

I am lucky. I know that every day. But navigating the world now and the whole way of finding the stuff that is needed to sustain a gluten-free diet is just different and hard. I have had many missteps, and my poor family has eaten it with smiles. “Oh Mom this is good!” But it was not good—I tried it myself, but I think they know that everything is hard now and want me to feel okay too. I did make one amazing gluten-free deep dish pizza though!

We have tried to keep busy with crafts, online museums, shows of love and gratitude online, and connecting with friends and loved ones through Zoom and Facetime. Drive-by birthdays and zooms have become the norm, and do bring love and happiness to my kid’s faces. We made armor out of the cardboard boxes that we got (after leaving them to quarantine outside for three days.) We have put up messages with Magna-Tiles on the garage door about the virus (they stick because they are magnetic.) We’ve caught lizards in the backyard, and made cards and love notes to send to many of our friends and family so they know we’re there for them.

Try, try try, I implore you to find a moment in a week for yourself, to have a self-love moment. We all need it. We all need the seconds in the day where we can say, I’m doing my very best, I’m working as hard as I can at keeping a normal house, a normal-ish life.  Even if it’s a bathroom break that’s a bit longer than usual. Take that time for yourself. You’re doing great!

 

I am a stay at home mom with two kids who are 9 and 11. My family is one of the most adventurous that I know. We believe in learning through experiences! I started a website about interesting places we have found in Los Angeles to do with kids. 

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New PSA from “Sesame Street” Reminds Parents to Take Time for Themselves

by Jennifer Swartvagher

Elmo’s dad has a message for parents everywhere. Sesame Street knows how much hard work is going into working from home and helping with distance learning. They made a new PSA to remind parents to take a moment for themselves. 

The PSA, which is part of Sesame Workshop’s new Caring for Each Other initiative, features Elmo’s dad, Louie. Elmo is in the background asking to build a pillow fort, but Louie needs to take a moment to himself. He says, “It is wonderful to be able to spend so much time with our children, but it can also be a bit overwhelming. So I just wanted to say, parents, you’re doing an amazing job. Remember though, it’s important to take some time for yourself. Take care of you. Listen to your favorite song, stretch, or just take a moment to breathe.”

Sesame Workshop’s new Caring for Each Other initiative includes resources for families to help them with distance learning and creating new routines for children to follow. Free eBooks and other downloadable materials are currently available as well.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Sesame Street via YouTube

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