I went from working six, 10-hour days a week to being a stay at home mom. I loved my job as a manager of a restaurant. Having that job for years I was constantly busy and was used to that lifestyle. However, due to the start of the COVID pandemic, and being four months pregnant, I was unexpectedly laid off. I did not expect the transition to be as difficult as it was.
At first, it was okay. I was pregnant. I was tired and due to medical conditions, I had doctor appointments twice a week for my second and third trimester. So not having to reschedule or miss out on work to make these appointments was a positive thing. I was able to sleep whenever I wanted (which being pregnant was awesome!). My fiance worked harder than ever to make up for the lack of income. I thought once I had the baby, I would return to work.
Once our bundle of joy came, we made the decision that I would stay at home with the baby for at least a year. It has been five months of being a full-time stay at home mom. It is the hardest, most rewarding job I have ever had.
All you might hear is how great being a stay at home mom is. Well, if I am being honest, I still have a hard time. Selfish is how I feel writing that. But the transition from working full-time to being at home with a baby is difficult. Being in a pandemic does not help at all.
Honestly, I am tired and that is okay. Being tired was something I was not expecting because I was constantly on the go while working. I am still surprised at the never-ending tasks of being a mother and taking care of a household. Cleaning, cooking, getting pooped on and the always shocking throw up are just the beginning of all of my days. Every night is always a tale of unexpected events with a newborn.
To each and every mom (and dad) whether you work or solely stay at home with the kids, you rock! We do not get the credit we deserve (especially from our kids). This “job” is never-ending but is amazing and rewarding! I was never expecting to be a stay at home mom. Even though I can tell you a bunch of reasons why I am tired, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel blessed to be a stay at home mom.
Hi! I'm Carolyn Erickson! I am from Wisconsin and mother of a beautiful baby girl. I'm a new stay at home mom and I am loving it. I also am beginning my career as a freelance writer and blogger!
Why is it that we will be doing fine, “It’s fine, I’m doing fine. Everything is fine.” and then all of a sudden it just hits you? Everything is NOT fine. Anyone else? I mean we are living in a global pandemic and absolutely everything is different now. Everything. Maybe it is so hard because we (or at least I) thought everything was getting better. The summer started to feel like we were getting back to our old selves. My bad. But here we are eLearning, WFH (working from home), preparing for another lockdown. And it is literally dark. And cold. And scary. WTH.
But for the most part, we can push forward, carry-on, and survive. We are getting used to it. It’s unfortunate, but we are. Used to staying home. Used to eLearning and work from home and minimal child care. We are used to not wearing proper pants or shoes. We are used to not seeing our friends and family. We are used to staring out the same damn freaking windows! They call it complacency. We are becoming complacent with this pandemic. Getting used to it. After all, it has been over 8 months now. 8!
It is also called fatigue. We are tired of wearing masks, social distancing, and being reminded to always wash our hands. Even though we have gotten used to it, we are tired of staying home and would do anything to go on vacation and visit family. I am tired of being Super Mom and working from home while caring for 3 young children and eLearning. Maybe everyone knows you are Super Mom and don’t think to check-in or maybe everyone is dealing with all of their own hard stuff right now. We can’t just take a break from all of this and go back to our old normal. We now have to welcome a new normal. And it is all so different.
Also, it is the fear of the unknown. When will they go back to school? When will I operate in my office with my colleagues again and have normal productive adult conversations? When can I work out at the Y and not wear a mask while running? Or stop at the store and not be afraid of all of those looks that I inevitably get because my 3 young kids aren’t social distancing?
Complacency, Fatigue, Fear. Well today, my friends, I lost it. Maybe like many of you, I try so hard to keep it all together. As parents, that is our job. We keep it all together and put everyone else’s needs first. Literally, our job. Today though, it was this sense of being overwhelmed. So much to do and not enough time to do it. No gratification or the reminder that we are doing a good job. Everything felt hard today. I couldn’t prioritize or make the right decisions. Maybe it is true that when you hold it all in, eventually it all comes back out at once. So I walked, I cried, but I walked. And I never cry. I just don’t, ever. But I couldn’t fight it. (And my dear colleague watched my kids this afternoon because she could tell.)
But my sense of being overwhelmed isn’t selfish. It isn’t all about me and all that I have to do. As a parent, it is never “Woe is me.” I know that I am blessed to have a job right now and healthy children and an incredibly caring and hard-working husband. I know this. But I am overwhelmed with everything that is going on. All that I am seeing and hearing and everything that we can’t control. We might be trying to put on a front but this pandemic is hitting us hard. We can’t travel and see family this Thanksgiving. And families that are local can’t even get together. This all hurts so much. Some are sick and struggling severely. It is having an impact on so many and we don’t even know it all yet.
So, this Thanksgiving, let’s be there for one another. Remember to lift each other up. Go out of your way for friends and family. Pay 10 compliments or gestures. We need it. Seriously, we need it more than ever. Maybe we still need to check on one another like we used to do back in April when shelter on place began. Maybe we need to ask, “Ok, but are you sure?” This year, let’s be thankful, so incredibly thankful for what you have. Remember what is most important right now and hold that close to you. Prioritize your health and if you can’t tell someone you love. Don’t let yourself become too overwhelmed without talking about it first. Physical and mental health are ever more important this year. Try not to let this pandemic get the best of us. I am sorry but we aren’t out of the woods just yet.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. Unplug, log off Zoom, put up your out of office reply, and enjoy those you love. Enjoy them so much.
Located in Bloomington, Indiana I am a wife, full-time working Mom to 3 boys, a part-time graduate student & a writer. I am also an optimist, problem solver, peacemaker, gardener, runner and a crazy-busy mom just trying to enjoy each moment. I truly value my friends, family and my mommy tribe.
You don’t have to leave town to enjoy a weekend away from your abode. Put travel back on your bucket list this fall with one of DC’s newest hotels, Viceroy Washington DC. The former Mason & Rock Hotel, tucked away off the 14th St. Corridor, recently under went an $8 million dollar renovation and it’s worth checking out! Read on for our top seven reasons to book a staycation at Viceroy Washington DC NOW.
Tired of looking at the same four walls? Enjoy a temporary change of address and a change of scenery. Viceroy Washington DC features spacious, newly appointed rooms designed in a calming neutral palette with pops of mint. You’ll find lux room details, like 400-thread-count Frette linen sheets and voice controlled Google NestHubs. Our favorite? The luxury wood flooring you don’t mind a baby crawling on. No icky hotel carpet here! In fact, everything at this hotel feels squeaky clean and safe. From the protective wraps used to safe guard your steering wheel and seats at the valet to the complimentary Viceroy masks you receive at check in, this hotel goes above and beyond to ensure the health and safety of guests.
Kids will clamor for bath time at this hotel! Even bath-avoiders want to climb into Viceroy’s spa tub for a good soak. Fill this baby to the brim and don’t forget the rubber duckies! There is also an oversized, glass-enclosed marble shower with a water pressure that will melt your COVID stress away. Plush robes and ROIL bath products make this bathroom feel like a day at the spa.
Explore a New 'Hood
Meghan Yudes Meyers
Tired of making the same laps around your neighborhood block? Switch it up with a bright and vibrant tour of DC's best murals and street art around Logan Circle and the 14th St. Corridor. You don't have to go far to start this walking tour. In fact, simply step out the doors of the hotel and you will be greeted by Brandon Hill's mural painted on the Viceroy façade.
Viceroy Washington DC's onsite café, BPM Coffee & Wine, is like the ultimate upscale mini bar with a barista. Looking for a quick croissant and a fancy coffee to start your day? Check. Want to stuff your face with M&Ms and gummy bears while you watch a movie in your room? Check, check. Looking for a late-night glass of wine or frothy beer? You guessed it, check. And check. With a convenient shop right in the lobby, you literally never have to leave the hotel.
You don't HAVE to leave Viceroy for a bite, but you'll want to. This hotel is just steps away from 14th St. & Logan Circle, home to some of DC's best restaurants. This foodie 'hood includes Le Diplomate, Bresca and Compass Rose. Kid-friendly favorites include Ted's Bulletin and near-by P St.'s Commissary. O On Sunday, be sure to check out Dupont Circle's Farmers Market.
Spend Family Time by the Fire
The swanky restaurant and bar, Dovetail, is not yet open, but guests can still enjoy the all-season outdoor patio with a roaring fire pit. Grab a snack at BPM Coffee & Wine and enjoy story time or a family game of cards al fresco. There are plenty of places to gather indoors, as well. On the first floor, you can cuddle up in the cozy, multi-use library room or sit on the high-tops for a quick snack outside the cafe.
Beyond the Staycation: Keep Loved Ones Safe & Close
Before you know it, the holidays will be here. Want to see the fam but worried about everyone gathering under one roof? Keep everybody safe by booking grandma & grandpa their own room for a holiday visit. Make it a family affair and staycation on property with the grands. Bonus: if you book two nights, you get the third one free.
—Meghan Yudes Meyers
This trip was hosted by Viceroy Washington DC but all opinions expressed here belong solely to the writer.
If you’re already tired of pumpkin spice everything, Pillsbury has an alternative. The cookie dough-makers recently re-introduced its Salted Caramel Apple flavor and its pure autumn awesomeness.
Pillsbury’s Salted Caramel Apple Cookies feature sugar cookie dough flavored with terrifically tart apple bits and (of course) salted caramel.
The dough, which originally debuted back in 2017, is a limited-time goody and is available now through November. That means you need to pick up your pack right now. Each package makes 12 “Big Cookies” and is available via Instacart and at select retailers.
When the parenting headlines match what’s happening in our own homes, we know something’s afoot. And from Tinkergarten team members’ stories to the New York Times, one theme emerged: regression.
Why are our kids regressing, how can we muster the patience to help them through, and, worse yet, will these setbacks persist on the other side of this? I’ve read a handful of articles aimed to support on this front, and they have helped. But, it wasn’t until the other night when I was talking to treasured colleagues on Zoom that something fundamental clicked for me: We are all on a roller coaster, and our kids are strapped in with us.
A metaphor goes a long way.
In teaching both kids and parents, a simple metaphor can help make tricky concepts click—and this idea of a roller coaster has done that for me. Some of us can’t stand roller coasters. I love them, but only the ones I choose to get on and the ones that, I can tell, come to a clear end. COVID-19 fits neither of those criteria, and it is quite an intense ride.
I have kept so busy trying to do all of the quarantine parent/worker/person things, that I had not really stopped to recognize the intense emotional side of COVID-19 life—to see plainly what me, my kids and those I love are experiencing.
If we are feeling it, they are really feeling it.
Hearing and really recognizing that we have every reason to feel like a wreck can go a long way. And if I am a mess with an adult brain that is capable of rationalizing and regulating my emotions, then how can I possibly expect more of my child, who is not yet able to do either of those things? When kids are overwhelmed emotionally, they show a range of responses—from clinging to us more to acting out, tantruming or struggling with siblings. Just knowing that all of those reactions are totally normal and to be expected during a time like this can help.
Kids regress, especially during times of stress.
If you are worried at all about setbacks in your child’s behavior, check out NYTimes Parenting’s recent “Why is My Big Kid Acting Like a Toddler.” It reminds us that regression, the return to earlier stages of development, is actually a mechanism that kids use to protect themselves from the impact of strong emotions. It might not make the fifth tantrum of the day delightful to endure or make it easy for you to find space from a clingy kiddo who used to leave you alone. But knowing that regression is not only natural but also emotionally beneficial for our kiddos lessens both the worry and our struggle to prevent it—and that struggle was making my “tired” even bigger and bolder at the end of the day.
There are a few ways to smooth out the ride.
How can we smooth things out so the highs and lows are not so extreme?
“Thoughts come and go. Feelings come and go. Find out what it is that remains.” —Ramana Marhashi
Breathe deeply. When you are in a rough moment, alone or with your kids, give it some time. Repeat a mantra like, “This too shall pass.” Then, remember to notice how it really does. Even if it takes until your kiddo is fast asleep, see that kids do become sweet again—these moments come, and they go.
Get outside and move! When tough moments hit, step outside or just open a window and take in some fresh air. Natural settings reduce stress, and the switch of scenery and sensory input can help kids and grown-ups to calm and regulate our emotions. At the very least, it can redirect their attention a bit to help the moment pass. We end every day with a walk outside—and there have been some days in which the kids and I, quite literally, are all crying by 5:30 p.m. By the end of our walk, we are back, tired and worn, but ready for dinner and some sweet cuddling.
Cuddle or soothe. Do this in a way that works for your child. Attention, reassurance, and reminders that we are right here for them is what kids need most right now. And, one of the silver linings in all of this is that, for most of us, we are right there—all the time. Experts know that physical touch can enhance brain development and help regulate kids’ nervous systems. In other words, it’s exactly what they might need to break free of a negative cycle. If your child seeks and readily receives physical affection, give loads of extra hugs, squeezes, and touches. If kids will accept a hug when they are off the rails, hold and squeeze them through it. Or, wait until later and cuddle again before the day is through. Even add in extra squeezes as you move through the day.
Mindful “you time.” It is really, really hard to get time for ourselves in the middle of all of this, and you need moments of solo, meditative time to repair. So, even if it is just 10 daily minutes of meditation in bed before kids wake up, a 7-minute workout while they watch a show, or just taking a few moments in the bathroom for yourself, build it in and savor it.
This is a lot, it’s hard, and it’s extraordinary. I’ve realized that so much of the regression that kids and I are feeling is a reflection of this incredible situation. Humans are not meant to be or feel isolated. We contemplate the present and future and need to understand where we are going and have hope for better times. We are experiencing loss and anxiety. Our dreams are even impacted. This is real and big. But, this too shall pass. For now, we need to do whatever we and our kids need to get through until it’s finally time to get off this ride and stand on solid ground again.
After 18 years as an educator, curriculum developer and school leader, Meghan has her dream gig—an entrepreneur/educator/mom who helps families everywhere, including hers, learn outside. Today, Meghan serves as co-founder and Chief Learning Officer of Tinkergarten, the national leader in outdoor play-based learning.
Who says Christmas trees are always green? Even though there’s no replacing the fresh fab holiday scent of a real pine, this rainbow faux tree is everything you need to brighten your holiday and deck the halls!
If you’re tired of the same old holiday decor, the Color Burst Rainbow Christmas Tree is seven feet of pure awesomeness. The tree, which is available on Amazon right now, is made from 1,213 branch tips and comes with a five-year foliage warranty.
photo: Amazon
Not only will you get the tree (it retails on Amazon for $134.99), but it also comes with a white stand. The needles are obviously not the real deal. Instead, they’re made from colorful PVC—providing the tree with plenty of support and the just-right amount of fullness or fluff.
Do you have a few doubts about a rainbow Christmas tree? You’re not alone. One Amazon reviewer wrote, “I literally got told I ‘won’ Christmas with this tree.” So go ahead and brighten up your holiday decor with this colorful Christmas accent.
Gathered on any random Saturday night before the pandemic, my friends and I would often recount our day. My tale usually involved our family of four bouncing from activity to activity like human pinballs caroming from one corner of the county to another. Inevitably, someone would kid me for our full itinerary. Dubbed “The Crammer,” I was accused of trying to win a contest of efficiency when, really, I simply operate on the principle that when opportunity presents itself, take it. It is a philosophy that has guided me since before I became a mother.
As a British Literature instructor at a small private high school, I loved teaching the importance of the written word. More so, I loved my students, including “Alex,” as clever and joyful as young people come. I still remember Alex’s smile and the way it won its way into a favor. I remember the way he ran his fingers through his hair when he became embarrassed. I remember the moment I learned he was killed in a car crash. I remember the wails of his brother, also a student at our school, during the funeral service, and how they were muffled when an instructor enveloped him in her long arms. I remember her jacket being discolored by his tears when he raised his head. I remember feeling guilty about all the life I had led and angry about all the life Alex would never experience.
That was the first funeral. Three more followed. In one school year, our tight-knit campus mourned again and again and again after separate, tragic incidents. It felt at once unreal and horrific. Students and staff were devastated by the overwhelming loss and jarred by the idea of young lives ending so abruptly. Much discussion and introspection followed, and though I appreciated that my job involved preparing students for the future, I decided then to enjoy the fullest life I can each day. Hyperaware that virtually any activity “could be the last time,” I said yes to everything I could. Years later, I still appreciate that tomorrow is not assured for me or for anyone I love, and this practice has made me abundantly happier.
My philosophy has allowed me to enjoy some exotic adventures abroad, but more often it has strengthened moments with family and friends. I am lucky to live close to my parents and siblings, and it would be easy to deem our frequent get-togethers as routine. Still, I never turn down a chance to catch up, and I never leave a birthday or Monday Night Football dinner without having laughed all night and feeling refreshed. Likewise, if friends text while we are out and about, we make time for them that evening. I know we may be tired later, but tired at home means dozing on the couch to bad TV. Seeing friends rejuvenates us. The odds are low that it will be “the last time” we hang out but remembering that it could helps me focus and appreciate the company of those I love.
It has been almost a half a year since we sat in my parents’ house, sipped cocktails in our friends’ backyard, or met another couple for dinner. Who knows when we will return to those days? Who knows when we will enjoy theme parks, playlands, or museums again? After remaining “safer at home” for over five months now, my kids talk a lot about “before” – long plane trips that no longer feel safe and quick visits to restaurants that have shuttered their doors for good. “That’s sad, mama,” Thomas recently muttered upon seeing a neighborhood ice cream shop boarded up. From the backseat, he sighed, “Well, at least we went before they closed!” I squeezed the steering wheel and thought, “My goodness, he gets it. He honestly gets it.”
Even before the pandemic, I had marked several “last times” with my boys. There was the last time I pushed Thomas in a stroller. The last time I fed Devin in a highchair. The last time I dressed either one. More lasts will follow. One day Thomas will not kiss me in front of the school gate. One day Devin will not write Santa a letter. One day they will leave home. Watching children grow is to enjoy many firsts and mourn just as many lasts.
So, when the boys ask me to join them in the pool after I just washed my hair I ask, “What if this is the last time?” Would I rather remember splashing and laughing with my sons or not having to shampoo twice? Any time I can, I do. Lately, my days seem spent saying “no”– no playdates, no pool parties, no movie theaters; I want to cram in every “yes” I can.
I also want to get back to packing our days with experiences and people outside of our home. Until then, we enjoy new interests like puzzles, gardening, game nights, and reminiscing about our adventures, big and small—not in sorrow for what we have lost, but in gratitude for what we did not let pass us by.
I spent many joyful years in education, but I made the difficult choice to leave the classroom to focus on my children and my writing. I recently published a short children’s book, Many Miles to Walk, an extended conceit written for my younger son to explain his birth via surrogate
Are you tired of singing the birthday song when you wash your hands? Now you won’t be able to keep your kids away from the soap and water. PinkFong has released a new rendition of its hit song “Baby Shark” simply titled, “Wash Your Hands.”
The lyrics are simple and make hand washing a breeze. You can’t help but sing along, “grab some soap, doo doo doo doo doo” followed by “rub your hands, doo doo doo doo doo” and then, “rinse your hands, doo doo doo doo doo” and finally, “dry your hands, doo doo doo doo doo.” At the end, the cute shark family offers up a few other helpful tips to stay healthy these days, like “cover your sneeze, doo doo doo doo doo” and “cough into your elbow, doo doo doo doo doo.”
The video already has almost 1.5 million views and encourages fans to join the #BabySharkHAndWashChallenge.
I have been a Mother for 2.5 years now. It really does require complete patience. Being a Mother is the most unselfish thing I have ever done in my life. I am constantly thinking of someone else. Not just someone else. Someone who kind of resembles me!
Before Samantha was born, Peyton and I would take naps when we wanted, stayed out until we got tired, and didn’t have to feed anyone but ourselves. I had gotten pretty used to just taking care of only one person. I was great at it. I had ME down to a T! After Peyton and I got married and after loads of discussion and prayer we decided we wanted to do something mind-blowing. We desired a baby. We felt good about our decision and went forward with design. The day I found out I was with a child was a day I will never forget. In two minutes time I was a transformed lady. Was I really ready to feed, bathe, and comfort a tiny human 24 hours a day? Good thing you have 9 months to organize yourself, Catherine. Get going.
And I did. I read the books. I watched the birthing videos. I cried after watching the birthing videos. I found a doctor I liked and visited her routinely. I ate good foods. (And too much ice cream). I did prenatal yoga. I packed my hospital bag 2 months before I needed to. I typed up a birth plan. I downloaded an app that timed contractions. I worried. I cried. I was ecstatic and prepared.
Or so I thought…labor was a mind trip. The thoughts running through my mind were comparable to that of a schizophrenic. “This is incredible.” “I am doing this.” “Why did I do this?” “I want to go back.” “That hurts.” “That feels good.” “I am a freaking rockstar right now.” “I want to die.” Why, oh why, don’t people tell you these things? Labor is outrageous, stunning, ridiculous, delightful and downright natural. I remember (vividly) Peyton running around calmly asking the Doctor questions only an engineer would think to ask. What are the advantages of breaking her water? How many heartbeats a minute are we at? At what level are the contractions? What are our alternatives at this moment? Is that instrument there for a precaution or application? I literally thought my Husband was going to excuse himself to the restroom and come back in full doctor uniform. He had done his coursework and he was set! In all honesty, the birth was faster than we anticipated. I didn’t even have time to think about turning back before she was lying on my chest. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to turn back, anyways. Fast-forward to the next few days, which are extremely tough to remember. What I DO recall was that there were many diapers, cries (not just Samantha’s) numerous smiles and nights where Peyton and I just stood looking at this petite screaming human thinking, what the heck do we do here?!
The days turned into weeks and little by little I was getting the hang of it. I was as surprised as anyone when I realized the difference between a hunger cry versus a tired cry. One day I put an extra pair of clothes in the diaper bag. That was also a day where she decided to have a major blowout. Coincidence? I think not. That’s noble training, right there.
The thing is, Samantha was teaching me things I had never learned in any of my college courses. I felt almost as if she were giving me the lengthiest, toughest final exam of my life. I don’t think I am going to get straight A’s. But, when I rock this pint-size sweetie to sleep and she smiles up at me with her pudgy cheeks, I realize I am completely passing this test.
Hi, i'm Cat! We live in Orlando, Florida where my husband works for Mickey Mouse (no, really). We have two kids, Samantha (5) & Preston (2). I suffer from a chronic illness called Short Bowel Syndrome. My ramblings are dedicated to travel adventures, nap time confessions and my medical journey. Cheers!
There are numerous behavior systems and methods of parenting out there—just take a peek at Pinterest under “Parenting.” While these long-term systems and techniques generally provide some manner of relief in the long-run, sometimes you just need an in-the-trenches, how-the-heck-do-I-handle-this-right-now solution. Here are five tried-and-true methods for stopping that behavior in its tracks.
1. The Whisper. Tired of yelling, especially when nobody is listening?
How it works: Instead of yelling your next instruction or correction, try whispering it. You’ll have to get in their space and on their level to make this one work—which is part of the reason why it works so well. That momentary connection is sometimes all it takes.
Remind them that if they want to say something back, they’re in a whisper-only zone. Before you know it, those grumps will change right into giggles.
2. The Secret Code. The no-nag, embarrassment-proof method to calm.
How it works: When everyone is in a good mood, have a discussion about a secret word that you can say when a behavior needs to be changed. This way, instead of nagging, all you have to do is say the secret code word when behavior is starting to go astray.
This works especially well for kids who don’t do well with being called out in front of peers (#everyone), anxious kiddos, and for behaviors that aren’t necessarily on purpose (maybe you notice someone has hurt feelings, but nobody else has noticed). It also teaches kids self-reflection, as they are the ones who have to identify the behavior that needs stopping.
3. The Show Them Where You Need Them. This works best for visual learners.
How it works: Kids are in loud, hyped-up scenarios all.the.time. Telling a kid they are being loud doesn’t necessarily mean anything to them. Try showing them with your hands. Raising your hands above your head, say “you are up here,” then lower your hands to shoulder, chest or hip level and say “and I need you down here.” This is a visual reminder of exactly how loud they are being, and how much quieter you need them.
Full disclosure: I stole this one from our foster care case manager/trainer. Thanks, Aaron!
4. The Interrogation. So many needs, so little time.
How it works: Remember that last time you were hangry in a work meeting, and every idea seemed awful, or every comment seemed critical? That happens to kids on the regular. The next time they are acting up, try asking a series of rapid-fire questions.
“Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? Are you tired? Do you need something?”
Usually they get annoyed and say no to everything…until they stop themselves and say “yes! I AM hungry.” Talk about that poor behavior over a snack, once everyone is feeling a little less monstrous.
5. The Countdown. This isn’t your Grandma’s counting to three.
How it works: Start at twenty and count down toward zero. If they get to zero, they get a consequence.
Counting is a cue that an unwanted behavior needs to stop. But it puts kids in control in a small, simple way. They decide when to stop. It’s a tiny risk-reward scenario (i.e. Can I stop before mom gets to zero? What if I don’t?) that happens each and every time you count. Even more importantly, it gives the counter something to focus on other than the behavior. Remember that technique of counting to ten when you’re mad? It’s built-in!
Note: if hours have passed since the last countdown, go ahead and start back at twenty. But if it is a series of events in rapid succession, pick up right where you left off, whether 13, 9 or 2. They have less than twenty seconds, but it signals to them that the behavior is continuing, and they aren’t doing a good job addressing it.
Eileen Manes is a writer for kids, a five-going-on-fifteen-year-old wrangler, a reader, a Lego aficionado and a fuzzy puppy lover. If she's not reading, writing or revising, you'll find her procrastinating by redesigning her blog (or living room), hiking or Zumba-ing. But definitely not doing laundry.
