ML Interest Tag: work

11 Ways to Celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in Los Angeles

by Jennifer O'Brien

On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, discover MLK events, celebrations, and local volunteering opportunities for you and your kids around LA

Each year, on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Americans unite to honor his legacy and tireless work as a champion of civil rights. So when is Martin Luther King Day? MLK Day takes place the third Monday in January each year. Fun fact: King’s actual birthday is January 15 (he was born in 1929). In addition to celebrating King’s legacy, this holiday has also become a National Day of Service—encouraging Americans to volunteer and do good in their communities. So whether you want to celebrate MLK at a parade or spend the day giving back to others, here are all the things to do on MLK Day in Los Angeles.

How to Celebrate MLK Day in Los Angeles

1. Long Beach Martin Luther King Jr. Parade and Celebration

Jan. 14: This beloved event returns for its 35th year to celebrate Rev. Dr. King and the diverse community of Central Long Beach. Festivities kick off at 10 a.m. at the intersection of Martin Luther King Jr. Ave. and Anaheim St., followed by the park celebration from noon-5 p.m. at Martin Luther King Jr. Park. The park celebration will include a main stage with live performances, a health and wellness area, youth area, and tons of food and vendors.
Martin Luther King Jr. Park
1950 Lemon Ave.
Los Angeles
Online: longbeach.gov

2. Santa Monica Symphony MLK Holiday Concert

Jan. 14: In partnership with the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Westside Coalition, the Santa Monica Symphony honors the legacy of Rev. Dr. King with its annual MLK concert conducted by Gary Pratt. The concert opens with Coleridge-Taylor’s Danse Negre and Price’s rousing Symphony No. 1 and concludes with Gershwin’s iconic Rhapsody in Blue with Jason Stoll on piano. The event is free, but pre-registration is required. Doors open at 2 p.m. with the performance running from 3 p.m.-5 p.m.

John Adams Middle School Performing Arts Center
1630 Pearl St.
Santa Monica
Online: smsymphony.org

3. Minecraft March on Washington (Virtual Event)

Jan. 14 & 16: As part of LA Works MLK Day of Service, this virtual event builds upon the anti-racism movement through an interactive march on Washington in Minecraft and an in-person event at LA Memorial Coliseum. Tour a virtual exhibit of the 1963 March on Washington and interact with civil rights leaders like Rev. Dr. King himself. The event takes place from noon- 9 p.m. on Jan. 14 and 10 a.m.-9 p.m. on Jan. 16. Advance registration is required and closes at 5 p.m. on Jan. 11. Once you register, LA Works will email a link to attend the event. Access to Minecraft (Java or Bedrock edition) is required. Event details.

4. LA Works Martin Luther King Day of Service at LA Memorial Coliseum

Jan. 16: In 1964, Rev. Dr. King passionately addressed 15,000 Angelenos at LA Memorial Coliseum on the issues of race relations and human dignity. This year, LA Works continues Rev. Dr. King’s legacy by empowering LA volunteers to fight for food and climate justice. The day of service schedule starts off at noon-1 p.m. where volunteers will sample vegan food at booths hosted by local restaurants and learn about local activity to combat climate change. From 1:15 p.m.-1:30 p.m., there will be a keynote speaker, and from 1:30 p.m.-3:30 p.m., volunteers will rotate through eco-action stations, including creating urban greening kits, assembling disaster preparedness materials, and making a climate action pledge. There will also be a family zone with volunteer activities designed with kids in mind. Register online to volunteer.

LA Memorial Coliseum
3911 S Figueroa St.
Los Angeles
Online: laworks.com/mlk

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7Wz4qalnkP/?hidecaption=true

5. King Day at California African American Museum

Jan. 16: From 10 a.m.-5 p.m., on Jan. 16, CAAM celebrates Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. with a day of festivities. This year’s theme of “MLK: A Legacy of Service” will include a performance by the Inner-City Youth Orchestra of Los Angeles, the King Study Group, and family activities provided by the LA Public Library. Admission is free, but attendees are asked to RSVP to the event ahead of time.

CAAM
600 State St.
Los Angeles
Online: caamuseum.org

6. Kingdom Day Parade

Jan. 16: Known as America’s biggest and oldest birthday celebration of MLK, the 38th Annual Kingdom Day Parade features this year’s theme of “America, The Last Best Hope of the World.” If you are wondering what time does the MLK parade start in Los Angeles? The parade takes place at 11 a.m. and provides a festive, family-friendly opportunity for the LA community to gather and celebrate the life of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. With over 250,000 spectators expected to line the parade route filled with floats, marching bands, and tons of fun, this is must-do event. It will also be broadcast on TV at 11 a.m. on ABC-7.

Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.
Los Angeles
Online: kingdomdayparade.org

7. A Walk to Remember MLK in Redondo Beach

Jan. 16: Join fellow community members in a Day of Service by walking to honor the life of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The walk begins at 101 W. Torrance Blvd. in Redondo Beach and ends at the MLK Jr. memorial located in front of the Redondo Beach Police Department. While the walk is free, event organizers ask all participants to bring a child or adult/teen kit filled with necessities (see website for specific needs) to donate at the event or any time prior to that at the RBPD. All kits will go to the RBPD Domestic Violence Advocacy Program. Attendees should meet at the Pier Sub-Station at 10:00 a.m.

Redondo Beach Pier Sub-Station
101 W. Torrance Blvd.
Redondo Beach
Online: eventbrite.com

https://www.instagram.com/p/CJrq8pEsHsW/?hidecaption=true

8. Big Sunday MLK Clothing Drive and Community Breakfast

Jan. 16: Big Sunday is hosting their 11th Annual MLK Day Clothing Drive and Community Breakfast on Jan. 16 from 10 a.m.—1 p.m. at 24th St. Elementary School. This big block party will feature a community breakfast, arts and crafts projects to benefit local nonprofits, entertainment from the Blue Breeze Band, a Civil Rights Exhibit, and Big Sunday’s Something in Common project. They will also be putting together 2,023 winter clothing kits for folks who are struggling. They are happy to accept donations of any new clothing or shoes, or you can sponsor a new clothing bag for $25. All ages are welcome!

24th St. Elementary School
2055 W. 24th St.
Los Angeles
Online: bigsunday.org

9. Leadership Long Beach MLK Day of Service

Jan. 16: For 13 years, Leadership Long Beach has coordinated the largest MLK Day of Service in LA County, bringing together thousands of volunteers to complete dozens of community service projects. If you have a project idea, Leadership Long Beach welcomes suggestions on their website. All service projects must be completed between 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. on Jan. 16 and be easy enough that volunteers can quickly jump in to make a difference. Projects must be completed within the cities of Long Beach or Signal Hill and have a dedicated leader who will guide and supervise volunteers to complete the work.

Online: leadershiplb.org

10. National Park System Free Entrance Day in Honor of MLK

Jan. 16: In honor of MLK’s birthday, National Park service sites will waive entrance fees for everyone on Jan. 16. Many national parks also host a variety of service projects that people can sign up for as volunteers, so be sure to check the park’s website for any opportunities.

Online: nps.gov

Related: Our Favorite National Parks within Driving Distance of DTLA

11. Martin Luther King Jr. Walk-A-Thon

Jan. 16: Join the African American Historical Society for a Walk-A-Thon in honor of MLK. This year’s theme is “A Legacy of Strength, a Future of Action.” The 5K walk starts at the Stratton Center and ends at the Main Library Breezeway across from the Civil Rights Institute with a stop at the Martin Luther King Jr. statue along the way. Early registrants have an opportunity to receive one of a limited number of commemorative coins to celebrate the grand opening of the Civil Rights Institute, as well as a family pack of tickets to an Ontario Clippers game at Toyota Arena. Registration begins at 7:30 a.m. at Stratton Center and the walk begins at 10 a.m. Afterwards, there will be booths, entertainment, and performances. Proceeds from the Walk-A-Thon will benefit the Riverside African American Historical Society’s initiatives. Online registration prior to the event is encouraged, but on-site registration will available too. Tickets are $35 for participants ages 13 and up and include a t-shirt.

Stratton Center at Bordwell Park
2008 Martin Luther King Blvd.
Riverside
Online: raahsinc.org

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

She’s Just Not That Into You: When Adult Friendships End

By Melanie Forstall

“She doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.”

We’ve certainly been there. As a mother of two young children, I’ve unfortunately had both of them make this sad declaration. Relational aggression in young children is a real thing, and it happens far earlier than I was prepared for. It forced us to have discussions about complex feelings and emotions much earlier than anticipated. As an adult, though, this doesn’t really happen, right? That’s what I thought until it happened to me.

I have a long history of great relationships with women, yet when it comes to my current circle of friends, it’s relatively small. Which, for me, is perfectly fine. I would much rather have a few, strong friendships than a huge circle of people I don’t truly love being around. Friendships change, shrink and expand—I get that, but I wasn’t necessarily prepared for a friend to leave me.

As I look back at some of my relationships, I see that many were situational. We were friends because we worked together, had a class together, the list goes on. Situational friendships are like the seasons, they come and go, but they can be just as wonderful as life-long ones.

When I first started teaching, the greatest blessing, besides our amazing principal, was the women I worked with. This was a group of strong, kick-ass humans who persisted daily to get stuff done. We were faced with a number of challenges but consistently greeted each day with a passion and joy that permeated the school. We were smart, beautiful, hard-working, and clearly committed to our job and each other. While I’m no longer teaching there, I’m still very much in contact with many of these women. I could call any one of them tomorrow and pick up right where we left off. Some of us, 15 years later, still exchange Christmas cards.

My friendships now are different. They really are no longer situational, in large part because my life is relatively permanent. I’m not working my way through college and I’m (thankfully) no longer in graduate school. I’m firmly planted. So, it was my assumption that one friendship, in particular, was ef for the long haul as well.

We were friends. We lived close to each other so getting together was a regular occurrence. We talked and laughed through playdates with our kids that lasted for hours. It was easy, and I could tell her just about anything. She was the next person, after my husband, to know I was pregnant with my second child. She called me when there was an emergency with one of her children. She called me to share cupcakes. There were so many things that signaled friendship permanence—kids’ ages, school, church, proximity. It just made sense that we’d always be friends.

I realized one day, somewhat out of the blue, that the calls to chat and texts to set up playdates were totally lopsided. It stopped me in my tracks. When it came to flexing the friendship muscle, I was the one doing all the heavy lifting. I felt a flush of embarrassment. Was I the only one interested in keeping this friendship alive? Should I say something? I tried to assure myself that I was imagining it all, so instead of an awkward, dramatic confrontation, I pulled back. I intentionally pulled back for about a week to see what happened. Nothing. I swallowed hard.

Her birthday came along and even though we had not talked or texted for a few weeks, I knew it was her birthday. It’s one thing if I forget, but to knowingly ignore someone’s birthday is something I just can’t do, so I sent her a birthday text along with birthday cake and celebration emojis. I felt a pang of embarrassment but knew it was the right thing to do. After that, the friendship went completely dark.

I spent some time during the weeks after rummaging through my memories trying to figure out what had happened. Was it something I did? Something I said? Was I not enough for her? Was I too much for her? The truth is, I will never know and thankfully I’m in a place now where I really don’t want to know. I don’t want to unearth something that I likely can’t do anything to fix, repair, or remedy. It’s over, and I have to be okay with that.

I know that I will never be everything to anyone and that may mean people will leave me. I guess I’d rather have a painful breakup than stay in a friendship that isn’t healthy. Especially if the other person doesn’t want to be friends anymore. If ending the friendship was best for her, then honestly, I am happy for her.

The thing is, though, when we were friends, we talked about exactly that. Doing what’s best for yourself no matter what. She was often stuck in situations she was unable to get out of because of the fear of upsetting those around her. I often encouraged her not to worry about what other people thought. “Do what’s best for you and your family. Even if other people don’t like it.”

So, maybe I should have seen this coming? Well, maybe not. Friendships come in and out of our lives for seasons and sometimes for reasons. While I enjoyed this friendship for the season, all I can hope for is that it existed for a reason.

Melanie Forstall is a full-time mother, full-time wife, full-time teacher, and never-enough-time blogger at Melanie Forstall: Stories of Life, Love, and Mothering. She holds a doctorate in education and yet those many years of schooling have proved to be utterly useless when it comes to actual mothering.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

20 Boss’s Day Gifts For Every Type of Boss

by Kate Cartia

This Boss’s Day, celebrate the leaders in your life with these unique Boss’s Day gifts from their favorite employee (you, obviously)

There’s nothing like a supportive boss, especially when you’re a parent. It’s hard to find the words to express how much we appreciate our manager’s guidance, flexibility, leadership, and generally making our workdays fulfilling. We also know being an effective leader isn’t easy, and Boss’s Day is the perfect time to show them what they mean to us.

Boss’s Day is October 16th, but since it falls on a Sunday this year, will be observed Monday the 17th. We’ve combed some of our favorite websites for the best unique Boss’s Day gifts that’ll remind them that their hard work hasn’t gone unnoticed.

Self-Care Truth or Dare

Self Care Truth or Dare game

With Self-Care Truth or Dare, your favorite boss will be challenged to open the cylinder, pick one of the 50 sticks, and either reflect on a positive aspect of their life or complete an achievable goal (Truth or Dare, get it?). Great for reminding them to take a moment out of their day for themselves.

Self-Care Truth or Dare ($15.00) Here

Shattered Glass Ceiling Necklace

In the world today, we're more aware than ever of the presence of the "Glass Ceiling" and those who are absolutely smashing it! We're loving this necklace, but you can also check out the Shattered Glass Ceiling Paperweight or Shattered Glass Ceiling Ring.

Shattered Glass Ceiling Necklace ($68.00) Here

Work From Home Survival Kit

Working from home, or a hybrid work model, are definitely more the norm since 2020, and while we love so much of what comes from the ability to skip rush hour, it does have its share of challenges. Help them battle the day with this kit!

Work From Home Survival Kit ($20.00) Here

The Work Wellness Deck

A deck of 60 ways to bring more balance, both physically and mentally, into life at work.

The Work Wellness Deck ($19.00) Here

Spreadsheet Shortcut Mug

Mug with Excel shortcuts printed on it

For the boss who excels at Excel, this handy mug has over a dozen easy-to-follow shortcuts (that actually work!).

Spreadsheet Shortcut Mug ($12.00) Here

Video Conference Mute Button

Conference call mute button

Plug it in, choose which colors you want corresponding to Mute and Unmute, and never forget your mic is still on when you're talking to the Door Dash guy ever again.

Video Conference Mute Button ($49.00) Here

Gandhi Quote Canvas Wall Art

Gandhi quote decor

It's pretty hard to argue with Gandhi, and this quote is a really beautiful way to honor your boss.

Gandhi Quote Canvas Wall Art ($19.99) Here

Keep Calm Notebook

Keep Calm I Have a Spreadsheet for That notebook

For the spreadsheet-makers and note-takers, this blank lined journal is a total win!

Keep Calm I Have a Spreadsheet for That Notebook ($7.95) Here

Fixer of Everything Wooden Desk Sign

Fixer of everything desk plate

You may call them "Ms. Smith" or "Steve", but we all know their real title. Make sure everyone who enters their office knows, too, with this retro-inspired desk sign.

Fixer of Everything Wooden Desk Sign ($9.98) Here

To My Boss Keychain

A small token of your appreciation, this keychain has a super sweet message that we couldn't have written better, ourselves!

To My Boss Keychain ($10.95) Here

Boss's Day Succulent Gift Package

Boss's Day succulent gift basket

Treat your green-thumbed leader to a pretty plant with a straight-to-the-point message telling them how much you rely on them.

Boss's Day Succulent Gift Package ($39.19+) Here

Customized Business Card Holder

A classic gift for a reason, this professional and thoughtful business card holder offers the option of text and font added to a vegan leather holder in multiple colors and styles to choose from.

Customized Business Card Holder ($8.00+) Here

Guest Book Leader Sign

Leader guest book sign

A gift from the whole team is always a great idea, and we love this guest-book-style sign that has several customization options!

Guest Book Leader Sign ($22.50) Here

Things I Was Right About Notebook

They know their stuff, so your manager is sure to appreciate having a convenient notebook to record their wins. You know, for posterity's sake. 

Things I Was Right About Notebook ($11.84) Here

Conference Call Bingo Mousepad

Since we know your boss is already great at multitasking, they can definitely listen and play at the same time, right?

Conference Call Bingo Mousepad ($14.44) Here

Working With Me Candle

Coworker candle and jar of matches gift

It's okay. We don't have to say it out loud. You know you're their favorite employee. This set has several scent options to choose from, as well as packaging and the option to add these cute little matches!

Working With Me Candle ($16.00+) Here

Terrifying Boss Card

Funny Boss's Day card

Terrifying? Terrific? Maybe a little of both? This card nails each sentiment, even though we know they're really the best.

Terrifying Boss Card ($6.00+) Here

Antique Ship Whiskey & Wine Decanter Set

Whether they display this set in their office or their home, this decanter is a truly gorgeous gift for the leader who appreciates wine and spirits!

Antique Ship Whiskey & Wine Decanter Set ($69.95) Here

Concrete Prism Candleholder Set

This super unique gift allows your boss to design their own candleholder setup with these multi-colored concrete prisms!

Concrete Prism Candleholder Set ($70.00) Here

"No" Button

Give them the gift of easy communication with this handy "No" button! It even includes 10 different sayings. Well, not completely different: they still all say "no".

"No" Button ($10.00) Here

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

Behold the Epic Sanderson Sisters in the 1st Full Trailer for ‘Hocus Pocus 2’

by Karly Wood

We finally learn their origin story

It’s been almost of year of anticipation as we wait for the Hocus Pocus 2 trailer, but it’s finally here and we can already smell children. Disney+ has released the first actual glimpse of the Sanderson sisters, 29 years in the making.

In an Instagram post back in January, Executive Producer Adam Shankman revealed that the sequel would debut on Disney+ during the Halloween season.

“Now more than ever, people need to laugh. We should be laughing every day, and there is so much fun to be had with these three unbelievable women playing delicious characters from such a beloved film,” says director Anne Fletcher. “I am so grateful to be able to play a part in bringing these witches back to life, and to be working with my friends at Disney again makes it all the more special. This is a movie for everyone, from the fans who grew up with the first film to the next generation of viewers, and I can’t wait to get started.”

Related: The Home Depot Is Selling ‘Hocus Pocus’ Themed Lawn Inflatables

Hocus Pocus 2 Trailer

Hocus Pocus 2 Teaser Trailer

Hocus Pocus 2 Plot

The trio returns when someone lights the Black Flame Candle and resurrects the sisters, who will, of course, be played by Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy. They’re out for revenge and it’s now up to three high school students to stop the rampaging witches in Salem.

In the newest trailer, we also finally get a glimpse into the Sanderson Sisters as teenagers and we’re hoping that means we’ll get the entire origin story. It also revealed the first glimpse at Billy Butcherson, a “good zombie.”

Hocus Pocus 2 Cast

Disney

Doug Jones, who played Billy Butcherson in the original, will return to reprise his role. He is the only male actor to return for the second film. Keep an eye out for Hannah Waddingham, Tony Hale, and Sam Richardson, who are joining in on the sequel fun. Anne Fletcher takes over for the OG director Adam Shankman, who has a scheduling conflict.

Missing from the cast will be Omri Katz and Vinessa Shaw who played Max and Allison in the initial film. Fletcher tells Entertainment Weekly that “It was very difficult to try to have them be a part of it because we did talk about it—painstakingly. You’re trying to stay on track with the story, even if they came in as a cameo. People would say, ‘They could be in the background!’ and I’m like, really? You’re going to put the leads of the first movie in the background and be satisfied? You’re not going to be satisfied, you’re going to be angry.”

Hocus Pocus 2 Release Date

Hocus Pocus 2 will debut exclusively on Disney+ on Sept. 30, 2022.

 

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

15 Easy Ways to Tell Kids You’re Proud of Them

by Leah R. Singer

It probably goes without saying that parents are always feeling proud of their kids for one reason or another, whether your son finished a difficult reading assignment or your daughter scored her first soccer goal. But just as important as their accomplishment is how you show your kids that feeling of pride. From words of advice to simple acts of kindness, here are 15 great ways parents can show their kids they are proud of them.

iStock

1. Say "I'm proud of you." First and foremost, tell your kiddo you're proud of them when the time arises. You don't have to say this every day, but those words are encouragement are very meaningful to kids when they hear it from mom or dad.

2. Write them a note. Express pride by writing a little note or giving your little one a card or drawing that tells them you're proud of who they are as people or praises them for an accomplishment.

3. Talk about the obstacles. If your kid is struggling with an activity such as soccer or reading, offer support and recognize the obstacles he's facing.  At the same time, express your pride that your kiddo is facing those challenges.

4. Share some cookies. Nothing says love and pride like homemade chocolate chip cookies. Bake a batch of cookies and offer one to your son or daughter for being a great kid. Not a baker? Treat your kiddo to a cookie at the bakery counter at the grocery store instead.

5. Say you're proud in front of others. It's one thing if you tell your daughter you're proud of her. It's another when she hears you saying it to grandma or grandpa. Tell others how proud you are when your kids do something worthy of praise.

iStock

6. Don't forget the small stuff. Of course, parents are proud when their son scores a goal or accomplishes a major milestone. But don't forget to show pride and offer words of encouragement when your kiddo does something small, such as help to set the table or read a book to her younger sibling.

7. Read a book to your kid about how you feel. Express pride through a children's book or story. After you finish reading the book, explain to your little one that the pride you feel is just like what the characters in the book feel.

8. Do an activity together. Show your kids how proud you are of them by participating in a family activity together. If your kids have been working on improving their physical activity, sign the family up for a 1-mile fun run and explain that it's a family reward.

9. Hug them. Showing affection is always a good thing. A hug not only expresses love but can also show your little one you're proud of them too.

10. Praise your son/daughter for the things they're working on. Recognize the process itself is an accomplishment. Tell your son you're proud of his work on accomplishing the larger goal still being worked on.

iStock

11. Go to the park, a movie or an outing. If you want something more than words of encouragement, look for an activity to do together as a way to express pride. A trip to the park, movie or museum is a great expression of pride.

12. Tell them you're grateful to be their parent. We're proud of our kids for what they do, but make sure your little one knows you're also proud to be their parent, too.

13. Say "I believe in you." You've told your kiddo you're proud, but what about telling them you also believe in them and have confidence in their choices. That's a point of pride in itself.

14. Praise your kid for the great choices they make. Tell your little ones why you're proud of them by explaining how they've made good choices. Hearing that and the words of encouragement will only motivate them to continue their positive behavior.

15. Give a small gift. You don't want to make it a habit of expressing pride through gift-giving. But perhaps there's a special circumstance when your kid has been working hard on accomplishing a goal. When she reaches the goal, give her a small gift and tell her how proud you are.

moms getting kids involved in the kitchen
iStock

16. Let your kiddo decide what's for dinner. Maybe you have a picky eater at home who just went an entire week eating her veggies. Express your pride in that accomplishment by letting her pick the Friday night dinner.

17. Say "thank you." It's often these words of encouragement and daily conversations with our little ones that the greatest impact. Expressing thanks is just one way to share words of encouragement and pride.

18. Point out the positive in a negative situation. So often, we get too focused on the negative situations that occur every day. For every negative instance, try focusing on something positive your kiddo did and tell him you're proud of that.

19. Don't forget to be proud if they own up to their mistakes. Your son may have accidentally broke an item at home, but he told you what happened. It's okay to be upset about the broken object, but make sure to tell your son you're proud that he told the truth. This will make future confessions easier.

20. Hang the accomplishment on the fridge. If you're proud your kiddo did well on an exam or drew a pretty picture, display it proudly on the refrigerator or bulletin board for family and friends to see.

RELATED STORIES:
25 Things You Should Say to Your Kids Every Day
Your Daughter Needs to Hear You Say These 8 Things
14 Things I Want My Daughters to Know

 

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

Not Being a Stay-at-Home Mom Was the Best Decision I Ever Made

By Emma Bennett

Being a stay-at-home mom sounds a bit like a dream, right? After all the years of working, earning and saving, finally, the day comes when you’re off on maternity leave. Maybe a nice baby shower with lots of cake and cute clothes and teddy bears. Then, finally, you get to sit and put your feet up and wait for this little person to take over your life.

And then he or she arrives. No sleep, lots of crying, constant hunger… and that’s just you! Babies are so demanding at first, and our whole life is about trying to seek out a little bit of undisturbed sleep where we aren’t worrying about whether the baby has stopped breathing in bed or our boobs aren’t painful, swollen rocks leaking little puddles onto the sheets.

But one day, everything settles down into a bit of a routine. You find that you get back some sleep and you start to feel human again. Now’s the fun bit, right? You get to just hang out with this little person, go to the park, long walks in the pram, coffee with other moms and just kicking back while the rest of the world keeps working.

The baby doesn’t need you 24/7 anymore and, in fact, you can start leaving them with other people for short periods. Your brain is starting to work again, slowly. You can even start to hold a decent conversation without either yawning or crying.

Now, I don’t know about other moms out there, but this was about the time I started to get bored. And this was, as a result, where the guilt really started!

I struggled to get up in the morning and focus for the day. Some days, I really found it hard to get motivated to leave the house at all. I felt like I was really cheating the system and just sitting around contributing nothing. I knew all the rhetoric—stay-at-home moms work harder than anyone in the workplace, enjoy the time to yourself and with your baby, they are little for such a short time, blah blah blah.

But I just couldn’t get into it.

I would try and get into being a really present and tuned-in mom. I would sit down and do some kind of really fun and engaging game with him that I had seen on Play School –yeah, this is awesome… look how much fun he’s having… I’m such a good mom, I would think. Then I’d look at the clock. Ten minutes had passed!! I still had the whole rest of the day to fill.

I realized why so many moms join mother’s groups and coffee mornings. It’s just to fill in time and get out of the house so the day goes faster! I’m not really much of a “joiner,” though, so I struggled to turn up for those kinds of things, and as a result, I spent a lot of time on my own slowly going crazy.

The guilt was enormous.

Why wasn’t I enjoying this more? What’s wrong with me that I am not relishing not having to go to work and have boring conversations with people all day about stuff that doesn’t really matter? I mean, after all, isn’t this the most important work you can do?

Well, I didn’t feel important; in fact, I felt like a fraud. Everyone else was out there earning a living and contributing to society, and I was here at home with this beautiful little human I made, bored out of my mind reading board books and playing with teddies all day.

Then one day, someone emailed me asking me to do some part-time work from home.

I resisted at first, feeling a different type of guilt. It was the guilt of admitting to myself that I didn’t really like staying at home. This is much harder guilt to overcome when there is absolutely nothing in life stopping you from enjoying staying at home with your baby.

While you feel like people will judge you if you go back to work and leave bub with someone, you feel equally judged being at home and not really having your head fully into being a mom. I know everyone says that just being with you is all the baby needs, but I really felt like I was completely robbing this kid of having someone around who could actually do fun things that would help his development.

So I hired a nanny and took this job.

The first day I left him, there were tears all around. I was crying at leaving him, he was crying that mommy had ditched him with some complete stranger and the guilt was so intense I could almost taste it.

But then I got in the car, I turned up the music (and my resolve) and I headed into the city. I spent a few hours in meetings where I was briefed about my role, I got to meet a few people, I had a nice lunch and then I sat for a moment in a coffee shop. For the first time in months, I felt pretty happy.

I headed home and walked in to be greeted with the most amazing sight. My little boy was sitting with our nanny, on her lap, playing with a little toy, and she was singing and playing the xylophone. They were having a lovely time.

You could tell just taking one look at this woman that hanging out with kids is her favorite thing to do in life. They had obviously been having a ball. She’d done some foot painting with him, they’d been out for a walk and bought some books at the second-hand shop. She was just glowing with happiness and excitement at having spent a few hours with my son.

And I actually felt a great sense of relief and contentment. From that day on, I was a much happier person and, I think, a much better mom. On the days I wasn’t working, I really loved every second of being with my boy, and on the days I was working, I really loved every second of being on my own. It was as though it took being away from him to make me realize how special it was to actually be with him.

It took me this time to realize that I’m not the sort of person who can stay at home all day with a baby, and that is actually OK. The thing about parenting is that you have to do it the way that works for you.

There’s no right or wrong way to organize your family or to live your life. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with admitting that you just don’t like not staying at home full-time.

Everyone needs balance, and I actually think it’s really healthy to have your kids get used to being looked after by other people and to understand early on that they really can live without you. And if, at the end of the day, you are a happier, more peaceful person, then that can only make you a better mom as well.

So don’t allow yourself to feel guilt, regardless of what you end up doing. As long as you love your kids and you set up your life so that you are the best person you can be when you are with them, then you are being a good parent. Go out and live life the best way you can and always remember, you are a person in your own right, as well as a mom who loves your kids. There’s no room for any guilt in that sentence!

Originally published Sept. 2016.

RELATED STORIES
What I Didn’t Realize About Maternity Leave Until I Lived Through It
How to Stay Sane as a Stay-at-Home Parent
Advice to New Moms from Moms Who’ve Been There

I'm a Dubai expat mum and I love to tell the funny side of life here and about travelling the world with a young family.Because let’s face it – no matter how well planned your travel journey, its those those funny, quirky moments that appear out of nowhere that create the real memories. 

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

5 Things I Wish I Had Known about Life with Autism

By Marisa McLeod

Autism Spectrum Disorder became a constant companion in our life one April day a few years back. I think back to that day and realize how naive I was and how unprepared for the journey I was. I wish I could go back to myself on that day with my tear-filled eyes and fill myself in on a little of what I’ve learned so far.

1. It is going to be OKAY.
It will be okay…whatever your version of okay looks like. It may be filled with therapies and mountains to climb and hard at times or it may be smoother with fewer interventions needed. However it looks, you will adapt and you will learn and you will grow. And you will be okay.

We’ve managed to find our stride and what works for us. And is it how I originally pictured life? No. But it is okay and we’re doing alright.

2. Self, please know that your child has not changed.
The world might look and feel a little different right now and that is okay, but your baby is still your baby. Both of my boys are on the spectrum and both of my boys are still the same happy, loving, and adventurous boys they were before a doctor ever uttered the diagnosis that felt like it changed everything. It really took me a minute or two to get that through my head, but it was a valuable lesson to grasp.

3. My child has autism, but it does not define him.
Autism is a part of my boys. It is simply one facet that makes up their whole. It doesn’t define them. They have autism. Autism does not have them. They are smart because they are smart. They are funny because they are funny. They are kind, loving, and stars in my universe because they are them and not because of or in spite of any diagnosis.

4. If you have met one person on the spectrum, you have truly only met one person on the spectrum.
Yes, there are some shared characteristics. Yes, there are common ways in which autism manifests itself in people. But, just like you or me or the person next door, all people on the spectrum are unique too. My two boys are very different and their autism looks very different as well. They are unique. Just because your cousin’s neighbor’s sister’s friend has a child with autism doesn’t mean you know my child or what they need.

5. Subject Matter Expert: My Kids
Just because I am a mother with two boys on the spectrum doesn’t mean I am a subject matter expert on autism. Shoot, I am far from it. What I am an expert on is my boys. I know what works for them. We’ve worked hard to make progress and to find the right diet of therapies. I know what makes my boys laugh or cry and I know when a situation is too much for them. Generally, I can see a meltdown coming from a mile away.

Autism looks different in both of my boys. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for the other. We’re figuring it all out as we go. But you know what, we’re all going to be okay.

“Don’t give up! I believe in you all. A person’s a person, no matter how small!” — Dr. Seuss

This post originally appeared on How Many Monkeys Are Jumping On the Bed?.

Marisa McLeod lives in Waterville, Ohio, with her husband and four kids. She's a Golden Girls, Disney, and organizational junkie. She can usually be found sipping coffee (or wine), watching reality television, or Pinterest-dreaming her next adventure. You can follow along with her on her blog How Many Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, Facebook, or on Instagram.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

Mom Guilt. From One Full-Time Working Mom to Another

By Jamie Johnson

 

Please stop judging me for leaving the office at exactly 5 p.m.; my kids are waiting to be picked up from the sitter.

I know I’m missing this meeting, but my kid’s preschool graduation is more important.

I know I was late today, but I can’t drop the baby off at daycare until 7:45 a.m.

I know that I seem distracted because I am distracted. I have a sick toddler and I am waiting to find out when I can get him into the pediatrician.

I don’t want to look exhausted when I show up at the office, but I have been awake since 4:30 a.m. with an inconsolable kid.

I know that my eyes look glazed over, but I spent the last twelve hours trying to soothe a baby to sleep.

I didn’t mean for my email to seem snippy, but I have a five-year-old that cried this morning because he didn’t want to go to school, and I am worried about him.

Yes, I just banged my head against my desk. I received a text message that my kid has pink eye and I have to leave to get him even though this report is almost due.

I know my eyes are very swollen right now. I spent last night crying because I am exhausted, never get to be alone and haven’t taken a hot shower in five years.

Sorry that I was short with you, but I spent the last hour arguing with a toddler over the necessity of wearing pants to the babysitter.

I know I am supposed to leave my personal life at the door when I come to the office, but when you are a mom to two small kids, that is hard to do.

So thank you to everyone that has given me grace over the last five years.

I could probably stand to give myself a little.

Being a full-time working mom with young kids is not easy.

Thank you to every boss that has let me leave for doctor’s appointments, unexpected sicknesses, preschool graduations, and school lunches.

Thank you to all the people that turned their heads when I was pregnant and had to run out of a meeting to go puke.

Thank you to everyone that has let me know they also had a hard time juggling their work/life/kid balance.

Thank you to the people that ignored my swollen eyes, exhausted face and the spit-up on my blouse.

Thank you to all the other moms that slay it each and every day and motivate me to keep going.

Thank you to the people that encourage me to keep going even though I can feel defeated at times.

Thank you to all the co-workers that have picked up slack for me because I had to make a quick exit to solve a kid emergency.

I know that I am not the only working mom in the world, but I am a working mom and I totally understand what you are going through.

I understand that you feel like you need to overcompensate because you get to work just on time and leave the minute the clock strikes five.

I understand when you eat your lunch at your desk because you have to leave early to get a kid from the sitter to the doctor then back to the sitter and then get yourself back to the office in time for your 2 p.m. meeting.

I understand that sometimes you show up to work looking like you were attacked by a flock of geese because the kids couldn’t find their shoes, you gave someone the wrong color bowl and then forgot to take Sleepy Bear to the babysitter.

I understand that you are tired. Exhausted probably.

But I also understand that you are capable and worthy of so much more than you realize sometimes.

You don’t have to choose between two worlds that you love. You can have them both. You can have a family and a career. It’s not easy, but it is possible.

Yes, the worlds might collide sometimes and make life much more complicated, but it’s worth it.

So don’t stop. Don’t give up. You’ve got this.

And P.S. Not everyone is going to understand. And that’s okay.

Until next time,

Jamie

This post originally appeared on Hashtag MomFail.
Featured image: iStock 

I am a full time working mom with two little boys, Henry and Simon. I write about real life and real life gets messy. Contributor for Motherly, HuffPost Parents, Scary Mommy, Today Parents, Love What Matters and Her View From Home. 

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement

You Can Start a Company & a Family

By Sara Mauskopf

 

I recently met with another female CEO. Like me, she’s 32 years old. She wanted to meet with me because she wasn’t sure if it was possible for her to continue to run her successful business and also start a family. She felt she had to choose. She especially felt pressure from her investors, some of whom directly told her not to have a child while running her business or raising capital. They advised her that if she was thinking about a family, she should first think about an exit. Apparently there’s some well known phrase that circulates in VC land: “Exits before babies”. Well, I missed that memo!

This was just one woman in the tech industry in a string of many lately who have been reaching out to me about starting a family. Women in tech, especially founders and aspiring founders, are apprehensive about starting families because they don’t think it’s compatible with a successful career. Egg freezing is more popular than ever and many large tech companies now offer it as a standard benefit to their employees. I don’t know how I fell into this role but some combination of having a baby, starting a company, and dealing with my husband having cancer have made me the poster mom for a twisted version of “having it all”. Women have started looking to me to tell them whether it’s all possible. Can you start a company and also start a family?

Before I share the answer, let me share my story. Six weeks after giving birth to my daughter, I went back to work at the tech startup where I had been working. I liked my job running the product team for a growing company. The job was close to home and didn’t require travel. The company I worked for had even created a mother’s room for me to pump in. It wasn’t a bad gig.

But at the same time, my job wasn’t great either. The company I worked for strongly encouraged long hours in the office and attending Friday night drinks after work each week. There were very few other parents and I felt like my desire to get my work done and go home for the night was frowned upon. People couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to take long lunches and instead wanted to grab a quick bite at my desk so I could leave work earlier to see my daughter. Some co-workers complained that my mother’s room for pumping had taken away their valuable meeting space.

I left my tech company job and started Winnie because I saw an opportunity to build a product for parents that didn’t exist in the world. I also left because I saw an opportunity to build a company that would allow me—and the people working for me—to “have it all”. My cofounder Anne Halsall and I, both moms, decided that we’d build Winnie in a way that didn’t consume our entire lives. We’d have reasonable office hours, a flexible environment so we could work from home when we needed to, and the ability to spend time with our families at night and on the weekends. We decided that instead of seeing those things as a disadvantage, we’d use them as our secret weapon. We’d use our flexible environment to recruit world-class engineering talent who didn’t want to burn out at a traditional tech startup. We’d use that fact that we don’t spend 24/7 in the office to force ourselves to prioritize and focus on what is really important to our business. We’d use time with our families to relax and reset.

This secret weapon of a family-friendly work culture has served us well. Fast forward one year and now Winnie is a rapidly growing platform that over 25,000 moms and dads across the United States depend on regularly.  We’ve grown to become a place to find unique insights on everything from keeping the spark alive with your partner to the best daycares & preschools near you. Winnie exists because as parents, we saw an opportunity that all the techbro founders had never seen. We truly get this market that so many have failed to tap into because we are parents ourselves.

So to all the women out there wondering if they can really start a company and a family, the answer is YES! Not only will being a mother make you a more productive worker, it will make your company better. It will help you see opportunities because you will have a new perspective on the world. It will help you have more empathy for your employees because you now will know what it’s like to have things going on outside of the office that matter too. It will help you ruthlessly prioritize to focus in on what’s most important for your business.

Stop waiting until the timing is perfect. Stop worrying about what other people think. Stop wondering if you can manage it all. The answer is yes.

This article originally appeared on LinkedIn.

Short mom to tall kids. CEO and co-founder of Winnie, a leading marketplace for daycare and preschool helping millions of parents across the United States. Still getting the gist of this whole parenting thing.

Advertisement

Related reads

Advertisement