ML Interest Tag: balance

Tips for Navigating the Return to School

By Amber Kemp-Gerstel

Photo: Amber Kemp-Gerstel via Damask Love

Every new school year brings its fair share of jitters, excitement, and everything in between, but the span of emotions leading into this year are greater than ever. After a year (or more) of balancing virtual or hybrid school, many parents are dusting off lunchboxes and backpacks to send their kids back to school in-person for the first time in over a year. It’s a big deal. But, at least for me, with each new school supply purchased and each lunchbox packed, the nerves slip away and eagerness kicks in. 

A new survey from Juicy Juice found that a staggering 95% of parents say they are excited to return to a sense of normalcy this school year after balancing remote school last year. And I’m one of them! So to celebrate the “yay” moments as I like to call them, I’m sharing some tips to help families stoke the positivity and set themselves up to conquer the school year ahead.

1. Be There for Your Littles
Heading back to school after a year of virtual or hybrid schooling can be a little intimidating for kids. Combat those back-to-school jitters with a little lunchbox note. It’s a great way for parents to inject some encouragement, confidence, and joy into the school day. It’s also a great way to stay connected and let them know you’re thinking of them during the day.

2. Go Easy on Yourself
Daily to-do’s don’t need to weigh you down. For example, don’t try to be the best chef when making school lunches. Lunchboxes can be easy and predictable! Stick with staples like a sandwich, some fruit and veggies, something salty and a maybe a sweet treat. Within these categories you can get creative. Maybe one day it’s turkey and cheese and the next day it’s almond butter with jelly. I give my son Juicy Juice 100% juice boxes because there are so many flavors to choose, it keeps his lunchbox interesting! The more you can simplify the tasks that you have to do multiple times a week, the lighter your to-do list will feel.

3. Leverage Your Resources
With so many children returning to school after a year or more of virtual education, you may notice some emotional difficulties with your child including some anxiety, social troubles, and attention problems. Your child’s school likely has a counselor or psychologist, so don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or concerns. But don’t forget to get yourself some help too. Lean on the other parents in your class for support. Even create a parent group chat! As parents, we may feel out of the loop when it comes to the day-to-day activities and events that happen at school, so help each other stay in the know and connected.

4. Play Goes a Long Way
Now that kids are heading back to school, we’re spending less time together, so make your family time count by setting aside a special time where you really connect with each other and just play! Play is the natural language of young children. By playing with your kids without the distraction of your phone or mobile device, you’ll have meaningful conversations, learn what’s on their mind and maybe uncover any difficulties they may be experiencing. This can be just 10 minutes after school before homework, it doesn’t have to be a lot of time to make a big difference!

5. Connect with Others
Take advantage of that parent group chat and schedule some play dates. Connecting with other classroom parents and planning an outdoor play date with other kids who will be in your child’s classroom will help build (or rebuild) that sense of community for parents. For kids who’ve been in virtual school all year, this is a great way to familiarize them with their new classmates and practice some socialization skills.

RELATED STORIES:
Unpacking Back-to-School Feelings
Books That Will Get Your Child Excited about School
After Reading My Notes from Middle School, This Is What I Want My Daughter to Know

Amber Kemp-Gerstel
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Amber Kemp-Gerstel is the host of Disney Family Sundays on Disney+ and founder of Damask Love, a creative blog all about DIY. Amber received her Ph.D. in Clinical Child Psychology from Vanderbilt University and practiced as a pediatric psychologist for many years before shifting careers to pursue her passion for creativity. 

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Magna-Tiles You Can Draw On? Add to Cart!

by Eva Ingvarson Cerise

What do you get when you cross Magna-Tiles (the magnetic building set kids love) with Crayola markers? Answer: A super exciting new collab called Doodle Tiles.

Yes, it’s as cool as it sounds. You can draw right on these tiles (without mom getting mad), giving kids tons of new ways to get creative. Create a flower-covered house, build a rocket ship, the sky is the limit. And when the next inspiration strikes, wipe off the marker designs with a wet cloth and kids can create new masterpieces.

It’s not only kids of all ages who can’t get enough of CreateOn’s Magna-Tiles. Parents love the way the tiles encourage kids to use their creativity, while working on fine and gross motor skills, shape recognition, balance, symmetry and teamwork with siblings or friends. Adding drawing to the mix multiplies both the fun and the learning.

Snap up Doodle Tiles for $29.99 on the CreateOn website. And coming later this year from CreateOn and Crayola: PaintOn Magna-Tiles!

—Eva Ingvarson Cerise

Image courtesy of CreateOn

 

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Lace-Free Shoes Perfect for the School Year & Beyond

by Gabby Cullen

Let your little one slip into something easy and stylish this back-to-school season. These lace-free options give even the smallest pre-schooler the independence to get ready on their own. Which means less work for you! From classic styles to collabs you’ll love, keep reading to see our top picks for shoes without laces.

Saucony Jazz Hook & Loop Sneaker

Saucony

A longtime favorite, Saucony's classic sneaker features a hook and loop feature for easy on/off, a rubber outsole for traction and flexibility and the suede and nylon uppers are just as stylish as the adult version. Offered in six different colors, there's one for every kid in the family. 

Buy them here, $38

Stride-Rite's Washable Slip-On Sneaker

A washable sneaker that slips on and off with ease? Sounds like a match made in kid heaven. Stride Rite's topkick washable slip-on sneaker is exactly that, and it comes in both white and navy blue. With a fun red rubber overlay and the option of adding laces (if you dare!), this is a good slip-on shoe for little and big kids alike. 

Buy them here, $24.95. 

The Miles from Native Shoes

courtesy Native

Native Shoes's Miles is a play on their classic Jefferson shoe but comes with retroreflective spray in select areas on the shoe that's perfect for low-light conditions. It's got a wider fit than the Jefferson but still has a quick slip-on, slip-off feature that both parents and kids love. 

Buy them here, $20 & up. 

New Balance's Fresh Foam Slip-On Sneaker

Even velcro straps can be a challenge for toddlers, which is why we love these super slip-on sneakers from New Balance. We also love that an extra-thick foam sole offers extra comfort for on-the-go kiddos. 

Buy them here, $24.99.

Adidas Superstar x LEGO® Shoes

How awesome is this collab between LEGO and Adidas? Your kiddo will get the same comfort that a regular Adidas shoe offers, as well as the fun colors and playful touch of the brick-inspired shell toe. 

Buy them here, $65. 

SO® Alexaa Girls' Ankle Boots

For your mini fashionista, these black ankle boots are perfect! They come in five colors, have a cute side bow and a soft faux-suede upper. 

Buy them here, $39.99.

KEEN’s Newport H2 Sandal

A classic water shoe that won’t fall apart, KEEN shoes are worth the price. The pull tab fastener holds the shoe tight on the foot and your kiddo can pick from tons of different colors and styles. 

Buy them here, $43.90 & up.

Vans' Ascher Checker Slip-On

Who doesn't love a good Vans slip-on sneaker? This iconic shoe is gender neutral and makes a statement at any age. 

Buy them here, $39.99.

Mishansha's Athletic Hiking Shoes

A lace-free shoe that doubles as both a running and hiking shoe? It sounds ideal for a little outdoor enthusiast! With water-resistant uppers and a resistant rubber toe guard that protects little feet, this pick will take your kiddo from school to the playground and beyond. Plus, it's offered in more than a dozen of colors. 

Buy it here, $29 & up. 

—Gabby Cullen with Felissa Allard

Editor’s Note: At the time of publication, all items were available for purchase. 

All images courtesy of retailers. 

 

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10 Water Shoes Perfect for Summer Adventures

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8 Great Products That Grow with Babies & Save You Money

by Jamie Davis Smith

As you’ve seen with all those cute newborn outfits, kids outgrow things fast. And when it comes to bigger-ticket items, you really want to get your money’s worth. With a little planning ahead, you can cut down on stress and expense by investing in gear that will grow with your child. Read on to find our favorite products that will be useful for years after your little one is past the baby stage.

A Lovely Leaf

Nuna

From newborn to toddler, kids need a comfy place to chill. The Nuna Leaf Grow Baby Seat and Rocker makes sure your little one is covered. This gorgeous chair can be used by newborns with the infant insert and included toy bar. It also sways without the use of batteries or electricity. Once your child is a little bit older, the three-point harness keeps them safely in place while relaxing. Then, remove the insert with harness to convert the Leaf into a big kid seat that will last for years. Plus, the Leaf has three recline positions to make sure your child is always comfy. 

Bonus: The Nuna Leaf has a sophisticated design that blends in seamlessly with any decor. 

(Nearly) Forever Car Seats

Britax (from Amazon)

One of the most important pieces of equipment new parents need to keep their baby safe is a car seat. While it may be tempting to grab an infant seat and deal with another car seat (or two) later, there are other good options.

Kids can ride in the Cybex Sirona S from newborn stage until they are four years old. And get this: It rotates to face the door, meaning there is no need to uncomfortably lean over baby to get them strapped in! This also means it is much easier for toddlers to get themselves in their car seat once it is front-facing. There is a lot less struggle when they have this independence.  

Bonus: The Sirona S has sensor-safe technology that will alert you when unsafe conditions arise. 

The Britax Grow With You ClickTight Plus SafeWash Harness-2-Booster Seat takes your child from toddler to big kid. Once your little one outgrows their infant seat, focus on a car seat like this that will seamlessly convert to a booster once your toddler becomes a big kid. This will save money and time in the long run. 

Bonus: The Britax Grow With You has three layers of side impact protection. This car seat to booster comes in various versions for different budgets and fun colors and patterns—including Cowmooflage!

Strolling in Style

Cybex

The Cybex Priam ticks all the boxes for a stroller that can be used for newborns through toddlers. The seat lies nearly flat, has a simple fold and is easy to push on almost every type of terrain. Turn the stroller rear-facing when babies need to see their caregiver, and then easily switch to front-facing once your toddler is ready to see the world. The roomy seat means kids can ride in this stroller even up to age six. Even better, the seat is higher than most, meaning your little one will have a great view of the big world. They can also sit table-height, so there is no need to stick to restaurants or coffee shops that have high chairs. 

Bonus: The Cybex Priam is endlessly customizable with a large selection of seat fabrics, frame colors (including rose gold!) and accent selections.

The Wonderfold Wagon is a stroller-style wagon that will take your child through babyhood (starting at 6 months) and beyond. It has a unique design with two handles for pushing or pulling. There is plenty of room for baby gear or big kid toys, and even room for a sibling! The Wonderfold Wagon is a great choice to take your family everywhere, from park trips to the beach, for years to come.

Tech Beyond Toddlers

bbluv

Some tech is essential for babies but will remain useful as your baby grows, making it worth an upfront investment.

The bbluv monitor and camera is one of those! Keep this camera in your baby's room to see your infant as they sleep. As your little one grows, the same camera can be used to keep tabs on bedtime as your toddler learns to fall asleep independently. Eventually, this monitor will provide peace of mind as you keep an eye on emerging independent play and playdates. 

The Termö 4-in-1 digital thermometer is another piece of tech that will be used regularly as your baby grows into a big kid. Forehead thermometers are essential for babies, but toddlers on up prefer a quick scan to sticking a thermometer under their armpit or tongue. They also let you keep tabs on kids' temps as they sleep.

Bonus: The Termo can also be used to measure air and water temperatures so you make sure your little one (or big kid) is always safe and comfortable. 

Bikes for Beginners & Beyond

Doona

If you are not careful, kids can go through a lot of pricey trikes and bikes. While it's inevitable that kids will need a couple of bikes as they grow, you can cut down on bike-related expenses with some careful planning. 

The Doona Liki Trike takes your child through four phases of childhood. Start with a parent mode that functions similar to a stroller for kids 10 months and up. Then, the Liki converts to a push bike, then a tricycle that your toddler can ride independently, until eventually turning into a bike when your little one is ready at about 30 months.

Bonus: The Liki folds compactly for storage or travel. 

Another great bike that grows with your child is the Strider Balance Bike with Pedal Conversion Kit. Balance bikes can help toddlers learn how to ride more quickly. Once this happens, many balance bikes are tossed aside. Strider balance bikes offer an optional pedal kit that converts balance bikes into regular two-wheelers. This greatly extends your balance bike's useful life!

Grow With Me Activity Center

Oribel

First your bundle of joy needs a place to bounce and play with simple toys. Next, they become curious and need more stimulation. Then, they need an activity table where they can sit and draw. It happens fast! Be prepared with the Oribel Grow With Me Activity Center. This complete set comes with a bouncer, two sets of attachable toys, a table insert and stools. The Oribel Activity Center takes your child from baby to toddler seamlessly, so you will always be prepared for what comes next.

Bonus: Chose from fun themes like Monsterland Adventures and Forest Friends!

High Chair to Toddler Chair

Boon

One day they are trying their first foods. The next they are ready to eat big-kid meals at the table. Boon's Grub 2-in-1 Convertible High Chair takes your baby from purees to chicken nuggets with ease. This baby-to-toddler chair makes it possible for your little one to sit at the table from the time they can sit up until about age three. The secret to making this chair last is in the easy-to-adjust legs and sturdy engineering. Boon also knows how hectic life can be for parents so they made the tray and base dishwasher-safe!  

Bonus: Inserts in different colors are available as an add-on to make sure your child's chair matches any decor! 

Sleep for All Ages

Nestig

There is one thing a child needs from the time they are a newborn until the time they grow old: a comfy place to sleep. Nestig has the first years covered. This clever crib converts from a mini crib to a full-size crib to a toddler bed. Bed transitions are easier since your child is already used to their sleep spot. The bed comes in a few sleek styles and the company also sells mattresses for a perfect fit.

—Jamie Davis Smith

featured image: Doona

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Taking the (Parenting) Plunge

By Melanie Forstall

Photo: Melanie Forstall

I never thought that I would drop my young daughter into a giant pool when she didn’t even know how to swim. Yet here we are.

Motherhood can be such a head trip because you are often forced to make really hard decisions and there are no real directions. I think we can all agree that children need to learn how to swim. There’s really no argument there, right? In order to raise a healthy family, our children must be safe around water.

While we may agree with that part of the equation, what happens when our children hate it? Do we just throw them into the water? In my case, yes.

Several years ago, when we put our oldest in swim lessons, we thought this was going to be an easy process. She could not wait to start! Each day after school she would ask about swim class. We prepped with everything in her favorite color—green! Green suits, green goggles, and green flip flops! She was giddy with anticipation!

The day finally arrived.

Up until the point of actually getting into the water, the first day was great! Our teacher motioned to us that it was time to get in. Standing at the edge of the pool, I felt my child start to freeze. Understand, I was eight months pregnant with our second child, so wrestling a toddler on the edge of a pool was not something was I prepared for, or could gracefully manage. “Mommy, I don’t want to go,” she said as she tried to become one with my legs.

Her grip grew tighter and I could see her start to swell with tears. She began doing circles around me—hiding behind my swollen belly.

I look down at her precious swim teacher, who was about college-age, and asked what I should do. She shrugged her shoulders. But my eyes were pleading with the teacher to give me some direction, some answer as to how to make this work. Fantasy negotiations do not work with my child. Telling her that Minnie Mouse is in the pool will not work. Ever. She knows way better than that.

At some point during my stress, sweating, and balancing my very pregnant body on the edge of the pool I cracked my own internal whip. “Melanie! Get your sh*t together! She has to get in the water! Quit relying on the swim teacher to solve your parenting dilemma!”

In order for her to ever learn to swim, she has to get in the water. I did what I never thought I would or could do! I stood there, at the edge of the pool and dropped my crying child into the pool, into the hands of a stranger.

Oh, dear God, what have I done?

As parents, my husband and I balance each other out quite well. If it were up to him, he would have certainly taken her out of the pool area after ten minutes. Sometimes his way is better, sometimes it’s mine. But in this instance, we followed my lead.

Her lesson began and we could see her face was still a bit red and blotchy. I watched my husband as he paced the deck. All of his belongings next to me—wallet, phone, keys—all in the event he had to jump in and rescue her.

What seemed like four hours later, her lesson was done. Having her back on dry land was a relief to all of us. We hugged and celebrated how well she did. I asked her if she had fun and she answered with a resounding, “Yes!”

Really? I thought she looked totally miserable! On the way home, I asked her if she wanted to go back and she said that she didn’t. However, not going back wasn’t an option, so I rephrased my question into a statement. “Well, we are going back.” We were at a stoplight and I watched her in my rear-view mirror. She turned her head, thinking, then looked at me. “Mom, I can go back. I think I will be fine.”

The next lesson arrived and I wasn’t sure what it would be like so I did my best to hide my worry. We sat on the bleachers together enjoying a few goldfish before being summoned into the deep. At the time we saw the call from our teacher, our daughter happily took off her flip-flops and said, “See, Mommy, I’m not scared anymore!”

Overwhelmed with pride I helped her step right into the water and sit happily on the water bench. Throughout the lesson, she would look back at us for reassurance. My husband gave several thumbs-up and I smiled and waved. As she floated with her teacher across the pool, 25 yards away from us I said to my husband, “Well, she was right. She said she would be fine and she is.”

So even at three, our kids sometimes know more than we sometimes ever realize. I’m amazed and proud—of all of us! When I think about what life hands us as parents, it becomes clearer to me every day that it’s not always parents teaching children. Sometimes it’s all of us learning and growing together.

Now if we can just get her to put her face in the water.

Feature image via iStock

Melanie Forstall is a full-time mother, full-time wife, full-time teacher, and never-enough-time blogger at Melanie Forstall: Stories of Life, Love, and Mothering. She holds a doctorate in education and yet those many years of schooling have proved to be utterly useless when it comes to actual mothering.

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Hitting Rock Bottom

By Amy Liz Harrison

There was a glittery purple tricycle at the preschool I attended. High in demand, each day at recess time a gaggle of girls—myself included—would rush to grab it first.

Interestingly, it was a disappointing experience once the battle of the tricycle was over. Once the rider mounted it and began pedaling, the bumpy, jerky motion revealed an unfortunate reality: the tricycle frame was bent, resulting in a wobbly, lackluster ride. The back left wheel was about two inches higher than the other wheels. Even back then it was evident that each wheel relied on each other to make the experience successful, and the frame must be a strong support for the wheels.

I rode on through my childhood and grew into a larger, two wheeled road boke with a banana seat. In high school, I begrudgingly rode my 10-speed Schwinn bike to school until I could drive.

In college, occasionally (and by “occasionally” I mean, like twice) I rode a mountain bike on some local LA trails with friends.

Marriage and then early motherhood brought that concept of balance to a standstill—once a high school English teacher, I was now staying at home with little ones. I discovered alcohol was the answer to quiet my stress and insecurities.

Eventually I discovered I was back on that purple glittery tricycle, if only figuratively. It looked exciting and seductive at first glance, but it revealed its’ failures once I started riding it. Jolting along, I became tipsy and I began to see and feel everything from a shaky, unstable perspective. An off-kilter experience revealed that same sense of disappointing imbalance.

Summer days as young mom were spent outside in the cul-de-sac, watching my own kids whirling around on tricycles, on scooters and big wheels. I remember how awful I felt inside, suffering from a self-induced case of persistent guilt and shame, fueled by alcohol. I had lost balance physically, mentally and emotionally. I was rotting from the inside out. I knew my kids could feel the ripple effect of my constant inability to find and maintain a steady sense of self.

Each morning I’d wake up stunned and demoralized, my shaky hands attempted to finish my eyeliner. My goal was to achieve a decent look instead of what had become my usual jagged makeup job: A makeup job one might wear if they were on their way to see the group “Kiss” in concert. The day dragged on until the arrival of a respectable drinking hour. Then vodka in my coffee cup would surely at least temporarily mute the deafening screams of reality, which reminded me every day my kids were growing up in front of my glazed-over eyes.

Finally, I reached a fork in the road. A turning point. This was my night in jail, after being arrested for a DUI. Ironically, the roadside sobriety test administered is partially about balance. I didn’t have the ability to walk on the line without leaning and falling over. It was the soul annihilating moment when I had to face the fact that I was utterly addicted to alcohol, and I might lose my family.

That night in jail, I stood at the proverbial end of the road. I could choose to turn one way and keep drinking, or I could choose the other way and try to quit. Two seemingly terrifying options. I knew if I wanted to try to keep my family life together, I was going to have to turn in the direction requiring me to give up booze. It seemed like the harder option, but lowly, one painful hour at a time became one day at a time. One day at a time became one month at a time. Once month at a time became one year at a time. All because of the decision to try. That’s the key to sobriety….The willingness to “tri.”

What I discovered by making that fateful turn a decade ago was beyond what I could have imagined. Today, I don’t lead a perfect life, but I do lead a steady, predictable life. I don’t ever wake up hungover anymore. I don’t ever have to wonder if I’ll be too obliterated to attend a parent teacher conference. I don’t have to look up liquor laws for the state I’m traveling to. I don’t fear that my kids will pick up my cup and unsuspectingly take a swig of soda spiked with vodka.

You know what that steady, predictable ride feels like? Freedom. Balance. If I hadn’t tried to ride other tricycles on the playground, I never would have realized how unfulfilling that purple glittery tricycle actually was. Today, that feeling of freedom and balance brings limitless expansion. An ability to blaze new trails. The possibility of discovering new journeys. The hope of fresh chapters revealing what’s around the next corner. As it turns out, that freedom and sense of balance is the proverbial glitter I was looking for all along.

Amy Liz Harrison is one of recovery’s newest voices and author of Eternally Expecting: A Mom of Eight Gets Sober and Gives Birth to a New Life…Her Own.

Amy Liz Harrison is one of recoveries newest voices and author of Eternally Expecting: A Mom of Eight Gets Sober and Gives Birth to a New Life...Her Own.

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How to Start the Conversation Around Tech With Your Kids

by Kenzie Kramer
Partner Content

From how we buy groceries to the way we teach our kids to the ways we bond as a family, technology is now a huge part of our day-to-day lives—and our kids’ lives. Navigating the digital playground can be confusing for parents anytime, but it’s been especially complicated over the past year. According to a study done by Google, 2 in 5 parents do not feel confident to have The Tech Talk with their kids discussing topics like online safety and wellbeing, screen time, discovering quality content and more.

The online world can be an intimidating place for parents, but it can also bring families closer together. The same study by Google also found that 42% of families discovered new passions and activities online and that 25% of families surveyed grew closer to family and friends through video calls. The keys to using tech as a positive tool in your family: building healthy habits and teaching your kids how to stay safe online. Here are some tips for improving your family’s digital wellbeing from our friends at Google.

Make the Conversation Engaging

Kids (and adults) are drawn to technology that keeps us engaged, whether that's entertaining us, teaching us something or helping us connect with others. Google Families has tons of tips to help parents have a family tech talk that'll resonate with their kids, including tips on talking to kids about their interests to find the best apps and games for them, teaching kids about healthy screentime by showing them the tools you can use to monitor their tech usage and much more. To help kids navigate online safety, Google also created a free online game that is both fun and informative. Interland lets your child control a character that explores the different lands that teach them how to Be Internet Awesome. As they explore places like Mindful Mountain, they'll learn about sharing with care and being kind online. 

Make It Age-Appropriate

If your child is too young to have social media accounts, talking to them about being intentional in what they post may not resonate with them just yet. Start the conversation by asking your child how they feel about technology: What do they think of using computers for learning? What apps or websites do their friends talk about? Have they seen people post unkind things online, and what do they think about them? Asking open-ended questions will help you lead the conversation in a way that resonates with them and their current interests. Once you’ve figured out what to talk about, families.google has loads of resources to figure out how to talk about these topics.

Make It About Balance

Between school, work, connecting with others and entertainment, some tech time is inevitable. What’s important is to make sure we’re creating a healthy relationship with our technology and balancing online and offline activities. According to a survey done by Google, 3 in 5 parents allowed increased screen time for kids over the last year. Each family’s balance with technology will look different, and families.google has helpful tools to help you decide what works best for your family! To get started, check out Google's digital wellbeing guide or practice finding balance with the new Headspace Breathers series for families.

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The Most Important Thing Our Kids Need from Us

By elham raker

Photo: Elham Raker

My firstborn just turned 14. A full-fledged teenager that now towers over me. Kids birthdays definitely make you nostalgic and think of their birth day. Especially the one that made you a mama! So I thought about how I had so many doubts and fears of being a new mom. Even as a pediatrician, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing! But I managed, just like every other new mom does, and figured it out. And with every new age, there’s a new stage to master. A new nap schedule, feeding schedule, a new skill they just acquired, and as they get older learning to navigate life without you.

There is no secret sauce to parenting, there is not a magic ingredient. There is not just one thing that we need to do. If there were, it would be a heck of a lot easier. As babies we need to attend to their every need, they are fully dependent on us and it’s mostly about survival mode. But as they get older we need to teach good habits, safety, routines, healthy choices, and discipline. Then you hope as they become more independent they have learned the lessons you’ve taught (like washing hands!!!) and do the right thing when you’re not there. At each stage of their lives, they need something different from us. They could need more one day and not at all the next. But something always remains consistent, they need us.

As my kids have gotten older, I’ve really struggled with raising independent adults vs being there for them and helping them (helicopter parent much?) It’s definitely a fine balance. On one hand, there’s so much more we know that we can just do for them and it would make our lives easier. On the other hand, if they don’t learn adulting skills then will they be living with us forever? I definitely struggle between the two. In some ways, I feel like doing things for them is showing them love and if I don’t do those things I’m being mean (mom guilt alert!)…BUT…not really. We know that kids need to do things on their own, gain independence, and feel confident! That’s huge! But is there such a thing as too independent?

When COVID started, I decided to give up working outside the home. I really felt it was important to be home with my kids and I was so fortunate to be able to do that. And truly the kids did need me. In the beginning, I felt like it was one issue after another and I just needed to be there. Could they have figured it out without me…possibly…probably… but it was great for them to know that I was just there. I’m not telling you that you should quit your job and be home 24/7. That’s not financially feasible and frankly, that may not be the best option for everyone regardless of your financial outlook. You may absolutely love what you do and you are a better person for doing it! But it’s not about physically always being there, it’s just about being available. There are certainly days that I wish I were more present even though I’m physically there. It’s about making quality dates with your kids to be together, not quantity. It’s about following the rhythm of your kid’s schedules and being there for a carpool chat, late-night chat, or a special outing. There are so many skills we need to have as parents, but I really think one of the most important is just being there. Yes, we need to listen but they don’t always talk. Sometimes what’s not said is just as important as what is said.

Our kids need their independence, no doubt. But as they get older we need to be available as consultants. Only sharing our opinions when asked. And maybe guiding them when we know the path taken is not where they want to go. It’s a fine balance, a delicate dance, and definitely not easy to master. Ultimately, I want my kids to turn into adults I want to hang out with. That’s the parenting advice I consistently keep in the back of my head!

feature image via Bethany Beck on Unsplash 

 I'm a mom to 2 busy kids and a pediatrician. My blog is about all things mom, doctor and how the two come together. My goal is to help you find your voice while I find mine and help you become your best version while I become mine!

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5 Ways Moms Can Help Balance Work & Family Time

By Rae Steinbach

As a working mom, there’s always the sense you can be doing more, whether it’s with your family or your career. At least, it can feel that way. The trick is to find a sense of balance that works for you. It’s a very individualized process and experience. One way of doing things doesn’t work for everyone.

Maybe if you work from home, on some days, you put the baby in the swing and do office hours that way. Then, once your baby is up from her nap, you let your clients or boss know that your office hours are over. For some moms, balance might be more about completely disconnecting from technology when they’re with their family.

The following are specific tips to keep in mind to have a sense of balance in your life as a working mom.

1. Talk to Your Boss about Your Schedule
If you aren’t already working from home some or all of the time, and your job would be something you could do remotely, speak to your boss. A lot of employers are more willing than ever before to go with flexible scheduling. Then, you can cut out some of the unnecessary elements of your day, like your commute, giving you more time to dedicate to the things that are important to you.

2. Organize Your Schedule
When you’re busy, and you feel like you’re juggling a lot, staying organized can help relieve some of the stress that might occur as a result. Create a family schedule and a work schedule, and post them both where the entire family can see them easily.That way, everyone knows what to expect and when.

3. Share the Housework & Outsource What You Can
Everyone in your family should be sharing in the housework. You don’t have to do it alone. Assign everyone in the house their weekly chores. Start teaching your kids how to do chores from an early age, so it becomes part of their routine. And if you can afford to, outsource some of these things as well, to give yourself a bit of time to relax when you are at home, rather than trying to get it all done. For example, maybe have a cleaner come a couple of times a month.

4. Stop Multi-Tasking
We’re trained to think multi-tasking is the most efficient way to do things, and the reality is that it’s not. When you’re trying to do multiple things at once, your attention levels are pulled in these different directions, and you’re going to end up being less productive.

Instead, focus on one thing at a time and give it all of your attention when you’re doing it, whether that’s related to work or your family.

5. Aim to Have Weekends That Are Completely Free 
Finally, your weekends should be a time of solace. Try your hardest during the week to get all of your work done, and also try to eliminate the number of chores and errands you have to do that are related to the household. That way, you can block out a period of time at the end of every week where you really can focus on being with your family. You can return to work on Monday, recharged and refreshed. Don’t let work or an overwhelming shuffle of errands and activities take over your weekends.

 

"Rae is a graduate of Tufts University with a combined International Relations and Chinese degree. After spending time living and working abroad in China, she returned to NYC to pursue her career and continue curating quality content. Rae is passionate about travel, food, and writing (of course)."

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