I had wanted a daughter since literally, like, I was the age of 10. There were things inside of me that were inherently broken. Even then.
As I aged there was an ever-present fantasy script in my head that (one day) watching my husband with his daughter would somehow magically heal the broken parts inside of me. And, in all fairness it may have. But, that’s not how my story went.
When I was pregnant and learned I was having a girl—the irony was not lost on the fact that as a fatherless daughter I was (finally) having a daughter— a daughter who would also, in essence, be fatherless.
I was pretty mad at God and the Universe for a really long time. It was a dirty dirty trick I thought.
I spent most of my life feeling as if there was a missing piece. As if something was inherently wrong with me because my father didn’t want me. Side note: my mom was amazing. This has nothing to do with her.
This internal dialogue was the basis for most of my life choices. How I viewed myself. How I viewed my worth. This brokenness, unknowingly to me, dictated most of my life and my self-value. It showed up most clearly in who I dated. Who I ultimately married.
It wasn’t until my dad passed away, two months after my daughter was born and 7-months after my husband had left, that I started to realize the truth. I sat in a hospital room every day for a week watching my dad die. In those days I realized for the first time, ever, that my worth was not based on my father’s inability to be a parent. My worth was not based on his inability to be in my life. None of his demons and actions and choices had anything to do with me. Not a single one. They all had to do with him. I was just a casualty of his personal war.
It was somewhere during that time that it all made sense. I was sent a fatherless daughter to in fact heal me. At the most perfect time.
My daughter is amazing. She’s as beautiful as she is bright. Zero of her worth is defined by the fact that her father is not in her life. None. My daughter did nothing to cause someone who should love her not to.
A father. A father is someone who shows up because that is the nature of their job description. My daughter had nothing to do with her father abandoning that role. And, through watching her and walking through this with her, I realized neither did I.
The script in my mind, for most of my life, was that by watching my daughter with my husband, I was going to heal vicariously through them and their love. By watching her and her father have tea parties and play house and falling asleep together, and see them love each other so much, that it was going to fix the broken pieces inside of me. That’s not reality. And, none of that happened.
But, my daughter did in fact heal me. She stopped the cycle just by being alive.
JACQUELINE WAXMAN, M.Ed living in New Jersey with her kids. I’m a social worker by profession and Mom by choice. I chauffeur children to their preferred destinations, feed-bathe-and-clothe my little people when we are not playing outside. Passions include writing, photography and advocacy.
Fans have been anxiously awaiting the release of Disney’s latest animated film, Raya and the Last Dragon, and starting today, Feb. 5th, for the first time, Disney+ is offering pre-orders for Premiere Access, and Fandango has theater tickets for reservation as well. Keep reading to find out more.
Walt Disney Studios
Raya and the Last Dragon is a sweeping saga that takes you into the fantasy world of Kumandra, where dragons and humans lived alongside each other. When evil forces arise, the dragons sacrifice themselves to save humanity. Now, it’s 500 years later, and when evil rises again, lone warrior Raya tracks down the last legendary dragon in hopes of restoring the broken land and its people. Will finding the dragon do the job, or does it take teamwork and trust as well? Featuring an A-list lineup including Kelly Marie Tran, Awkwafina, Gemma Chan, Daniel Dae Kim, Sandra Oh, this highly anticipated movie will be released on Mar. 5th.
There are two ways you can get to the front of the line for Raya and the Last Dragon. If you’re a subscriber to Disney+, for $29.99, you can get Premier Access and watch the movie as often as you like. Get premiere access here. You can also purchase tickets for in-theater viewing on Fandango.
Our new series, Tiny Birth Stories, is aimed at sharing real-life stories from our readers to our readers. In just 100 words or less, we’re bringing you the raw, the funny and the heartwarming stories you’ve lived while bringing babies into the world. Here are five stories that will have you laughing, crying and nodding your head in solidarity.
Interested in telling your birth story? Click here.
Pregnancy with a broken uterus by Christina F.
My uterus is broken. I have a bicornuate uterus, a condition that’s present in only 0.1%-0.5 of American women. What makes my reproductive organ even more rare is that it functioned completely “normally” and grew to full-term my two beautiful children. You see, a bicornuate uterus put you at higher risk of infertility, miscarriage, extremely premature baby, and needing a c-section. And yet, with both my pregnancies (each in different “horns” of my uterus), and both my babies, we conceived within a few months, we luckily did not miscarry, we made it to 40 weeks, and I delivered vaginally!
The stomach flu brought on my labor by Erica W.
What my husband thought was food poisoning at work was actually the stomach flu. I wasn’t due for 7 more days and at my appointment the day before this kid was nowhere near dropping. The next day the stomach flu hit after what everybody can imagine vomiting and sitting on the toilet for hours started contractions. We rushed to the hospital and the contractions were closer too dehydrated for an epidural I labored for 14 hours. Finally I got an epidural and it made me shake, so I they gave me propofol after that Demerol pretty much the opposite of natural birth. Have a very loose birth plan.
A wonderful double blessing by Dawn L.
I was 29 years old when I had my first baby. When I was 37, I found out that I was pregnant with my second child in the month of August. Unfortunately, at 11 weeks I found out that the baby stopped growing around 8 weeks. Many doubts and why’s came to pass. The very next summer in July I told my mom if I don’t get pregnant by December that God has given me the one child that I was meant to raise and I was going to be content. In the month of August (freaky timing) I found out that I was pregnant this time with twins. My “Double Blessing”!!
Big baby surprise by Tracey S.
Ever since I became pregnant, I was terrified of giving birth, especially to a large baby, as my husband and I are both very tall. My doctors kept assuring me that due to my stomach size, the baby would not be big. The day that I went into labor ended up being one of the more painful days of my life! The contractions were very strong from about 6 am until I went to the hospital at 1:30 pm. In the hospital, I was able to get an epidural rather quickly and was pain free! Three hours later, I was 10 cm dilated, and ready to push. I pushed for 40 minutes, and couldn’t feel any of it. Not long after I started pushing, out popped my beautiful, 9 pound, 9 ounce baby boy. So much for not having a big baby!
My husband caught our son, in our living room by Jessica P.
Labor started slowly. As we were preparing to leave, I had an incredibly strong contraction. My husband tried to call 911, my water broke, and I started to have another contraction. In a voice much calmer than reality, I said ‘Honey, I either need to go to the bathroom or we are having a baby.’ A quick check made clear our baby was crowning. I looked for a place to lie down quickly, then decided squatting was a perfect position. He put out his hands and caught our son, about 10 minutes after that first contraction, in our living room.
It’s resolution time, parents! And although saving the planet is a tall order as far as resolutions are concerned, working toward a sustainable environment doesn’t have to be overwhelming. So if you’re looking for simple and easy solutions to support sustainability in 2021, you’ve come to the right place. From kits that help reduce food waste to how to recycle everyday plastic waste, we’ve got what you need to make your New Year a bit green-er.
photo: iStock
Skip the Landfill
We’re all doing our best to reduce, reuse and recycle. But if you find yourself puzzling over what to do with broken toys, plastic food wrap and clothes that have holes, you’re not alone. Check out these services and resources that help keep items out of the landfill.
Ridwell
Subscribe to Ridwell When it comes to recycling, there’s only so much you can put in your big blue bin. That’s where Seattle-based Ridwell comes in. What started as a father-son quest to collect dead batteries for recycling has grown into an odds-and-ends recycle and reuse subscription service boasting over 15,000 customers in the Seattle area.
Ridwell collects everyday items like light bulbs, clothes, shoes and plastic film (think: cereal box liners, Ziploc baggies and that stack of Amazon bubble envelopes you’ve got sitting in garage) on a bi-monthly basis and delivers them to area recycling and reuse partners so you don’t have to. They also gather those really strange items you’re not quite sure what to do with, like eye glasses, pet items, Halloween candy and even Christmas lights—they designate one special item as their featured category each month. To date, Ridwell has collected more than one million pounds of trash that would have otherwise gone into landfills.
Work the Web What’s the old saying? One person’s junk is another’s treasure. Sometimes keeping things from the landfill is as easy as offering them up to others to use. Joining groups like Buy Nothing and Freecycle makes the reuse part of the three r’s a cinch. If you don’t have any takers, you can always see if local reuse art stores like Seattle ReCreative and Tinkertopia in Tacoma are collecting what you’re looking to offload. (Hint: they both love leftover art supplies, parents!)
Find a Fix-It Fair Whether you’ve got a vacuum on the fritz, a chair that needs repair or you can’t darn a sock worth a darn, “fixers” at a Seattle or Tacoma area Fix-It-Fair can help. Simply bring small appliances, broken toys, tools, computers—you get the idea—and have a skilled “fixer” take a look. They’ll give it a once over, repair it if they can and offer helpful tips you can take home too. Although the pandemic has put these Fix-It-Fairs on hold, King County has plans to bring them back in some from or another in the near future. So don’t get rid of that broken blender just yet. Help is on the way!
Eat Locally
Rylea Foehl
Find Local Farms & Farmers When it comes to our area’s sustainability, supporting local farms and farmers is a simple action that has a serious ripple effect on Mother Earth. Not only does it reduce the resources needed to grow, ship and prepare food, it puts good stuff back into the land (think nutrient dense soils and healthy waters) and the economy. Find everything you need for 2021 at the newly launched eatlocalfirst.org that features more than 1,700 sustainable and organic farms, farmers markets and food businesses around Washington state. The best part of this new resource is that it puts the tools families need to eat locally at their fingertips. This is one resolution you can keep!
Join a CSA, shop the farmer's markets and visit farm stores If you’re interested in joining a CSA, start planning now. Consider you family’s needs—do you want produce only? What about meat? Are you looking for farm pick up or home delivery? Then browse eatlocalfirst.org to find the perfect match for your fam.
A leisurely stroll at the local Farmer’s Market isn’t always an option for busy parents, especially during a pandemic. But one of COVID’s silver linings (if there is such a thing) is that our local farmer’s markets have pivoted to online shopping with curbside pick up that makes seasonal eating as easy as driving through your local fast food joint. Don’t forget home delivery options from local spots like Local Yokels, Pacific Coast Harvest and Milk Run.
Download the Food Matters Action Kit Composting is the first line of defense in reducing food waste (great job, Seattle!). Cutting down on what you compost is second. When you think about it, wasting food wastes all the resources that went into producing it (growing, transporting and selling) and uses even more to process the waste. So if your family wants to shrink their food waste in 2021, the Food Matter Action Kit has everything you need. Plus it engages kids in the process. They get to do math, play detective and help save the planet. Sounds good to us!
Seattle mom, Terumi Pong, has been using the kit with her kids. She describes one of the lessons as “eye-opening” explaining her family didn’t realize “how much food waste we created and how some of the things we often waste can actually be eaten.” She goes on to say, “After reading through the toolkit and working through some of the lessons, my family is more aware of the choices we make with food and it didn't take a lot of time or effort. I'm thankful that in this time period where so many things feel out of our control, we can do a little bit to help ourselves and our community at home by reducing food waste.” You might be surprised by what you find, too.
Last Sunday, I was super motivated to clean and organize all of the toys! I have really been wanting to do this before Christmas. Parents, do you ever get overwhelmed by all of the toys, clutter, and those pesky little broken pieces everywhere?
I like cleanliness, organization and things just being put away. Of course, with three little boys, I have learned to live with it, their mess that is. The boys do put away toys every night before bed but they have not been organized and put in their proper place every time. (Plus, they have a Daddy who may be the messiest of them all…) So, I took four hours straight to get the toys where they needed to be and also many large piles of items to get rid of by either donating or just trash. We are donating baby toys and things in good condition that need a new home in order to make room for the new things that they may be getting for Christmas. We are trashing or recycling the broken things, the very old puzzles, and other items that have a million little pieces—half of which are missing. I am also trashing or donating any free and cheap things they got over the years that are never played with any longer such as happy meal toys.
I will share a lot of what I have done to get the toys in order but today I am concentrating on the organization of LEGOS specifically. Check out my Instagram page where I’ve saved everything in my stories under the highlight “Organization.”
It may seem very simple, just sort by color, but as a Mom to three LEGO-loving boys, I have learned a lot about precisely how to best keep them organized for good.
Here are my tips for parents helping to sort and store their children’s’ LEGOS.
Assess what you have. Bring them all to one common area where you can look everything over and see all of it together.
Find appropriate storage. We have a small tool organizer from Akro Mills. I highly recommend this one. It was Hunter’s favorite Christmas gift last year, not kidding! He is in 1st grade and loves organization like his Mama. We also have a tall stand-up drawerfor larger completed pieces and all of the manuals that come with LEGO sets.
When assessing and sorting, you just have to start somewhere. I took the biggest pieces out—things that were built or half-built and set them aside for the larger stand-up drawer.
Next, sort by color. Start with what you have the most of. For us, it was black and gray. Ask for help here, Hunter (7) and Deacon (5, almost 6) were helpers. Wyatt (2) was not into it. Many hands make light work!
Also, make separate piles for things that are not LEGOS bricks such as LEGO people, windows/doors, windshields, tires, and so forth. These things can have their own drawer.
Do not waste your time taking pieces apart. Some things have 5-10 small Legos put together. This may be something they are working on and so I just put it in the color drawer that it is mostly.
Now you can pull out the drawers and put them on the floor or table when ready to play. Keep the built pieces in the larger storage container and then encourage them to sort and clean up when done with the LEGOS for the day. Eventually, they will get into the habit and will be doing this on their own.
Use the LEGO plates for building! This will help to keep what they are building and so it won’t break or get destroyed. (LEGO plates can be pricey but also make a great Christmas gift.) I do not personally recommend off-brand, it is a different quality.
This will be a constant job but it will help in the end. My boys are so happy to have it organized because it helps them to play and build more easily for years to come.
This is not for 3-year-olds (or younger). Wyatt is ready to destroy everything I have done. It won’t be worth your time and energy for them to just dump out all of the nicely organized containers. If you have a young one, keep your older kids’ nicely organized LEGOS out of their reach!
Anyway, I bet you never knew so much went into keeping LEGOS! But when you are a Mom to three boys who happen to all love building, you learn a few things along the way. I remember spending countless hours with my brother and friends at our babysitters playing with LEGOS, just building for hours upon hours. Our family loves them so much and is a great break from screen time and especially in the wintertime when they may not be able to play outdoors. Getting organized now will help you to feel ready for all of those holiday and Christmas gifts!
I always love to hear from you, if you have more tips to share, please do!
Located in Bloomington, Indiana I am a wife, full-time working Mom to 3 boys, a part-time graduate student & a writer. I am also an optimist, problem solver, peacemaker, gardener, runner and a crazy-busy mom just trying to enjoy each moment. I truly value my friends, family and my mommy tribe.
Barbie is known for celebrating extraordinary women and inspiring girls to reach their goals. Barbie is celebrating U.S. soccer star, Alex Morgan as part of their ongoing Role Model Series. The series shines a light on empowering women who have broken boundaries and reminds young girls they can be anything.
The Alex Morgan Barbie Doll is created in the soccer phenom’s likeness, complete with a full red, white and blue uniform and jersey with her name printed on the back, while her red cleats and iconic pink headband finish her winning look. The doll is shown wearing Alex’s iconic jersey number #13, while the outfit is inspired by real-life uniforms she has worn in the past.
To recreate Alex’s on-field moments, the collectible doll is fully posable and comes with a pint-sized soccer ball. The doll is currently available on Barbie.com for $29.99.
If you tried to jump on the puzzle craze during the pandemic but were not able to find any in stock, now you’re in luck. Many retailers have been able to replenish their supplies. Those looking for a challenge, or a way to occupy the kids for a few hours, a clear puzzle might be the way to go.
Practically Impossible Clear Jigsaw Puzzle
Amazon
ThePractically Impossible Clear Jigsaw Puzzle is perfect for that next rainy day. This 150 piece puzzle is one of the hardest you can find. According to the description on Amazon, “If you conquer it, please post a picture with the hashtag #Puzzibility. We will offer a free custom puzzle each week to a random user that posts their accomplishment.”
The Clearly Impossible Puzzle 200 Piece!
Amazon
The Clearly Impossible Puzzle 200 Piece! This 200 piece puzzle is great for family game night.It has been designed with multiple hidden false edges and corners for an extra challenge.
Biubee 108 Pcs Clear Jigsaw Puzzle
Amazon
TheBiubee 108 Pcs Clear Jigsaw Puzzle is another option for those looking for a challenge. Since it is a transparent puzzle, there is no coherent pattern on the surface of the product making it difficult to figure back from front.
Until recently, taking trips with the kids to museums was a regular weekend activity. Now that the museums are closed, and honestly we don’t feel comfortable venturing out, I began to think about how we can get our kids to engage with art.
It is important to keep kids interested in art even with less access. According to the Denver Art Museum, kids benefit from “experiencing the work of other artists—the importance of focus, experimentation, taking risks, and making mistakes.” It also fosters their creativity and they learn about cultures from around the world. Art helps kids express their emotions which is particularly important in today’s world with so much stress that might not have affected them before.
Taking inspiration and advice from Tam Gryn put me on the right track. She is a mom and an art curator who spent a lot of time traveling the world, living in NYC, and now calls Miami her home with her husband and two small children. Tam began her art career with the Artist Pension Trust and had several other impressive positions with different galleries and art fairs. She is currently the Head Curator at Showfields, a unique shopping and art experience retailer.
So, how to keep the kids interested in art and in making their own? Tam gave me great suggestions.
1. START THEM YOUNG—VERY YOUNG
Tam explained that when she was pregnant with her son, she was an independent art curator in NYC. With her pregnant belly, she knocked on gallery doors asking if there was availability on the calendar for a radical art exhibition. The Radiator Gallery picked up the show “Conceived Without Sin,” an ironic title given her pregnant state. When the opening day arrived, her then three-month-old son was in attendance. She explained, “My artist friends were supportive. We took turns to carry, feed, and play with my baby while the exhibition was being installed. I believe that exposing children to art when they are tiny gets them to believe that art is a part of everyday life and activities.”
2. TURN ART INTO A STORY
Online art tours at museums, public outdoor art installations, and many great books for adults and kids are engaging. Tam recommends that even if your children are young, a good way to introduce them to artists is through stories and anecdotes about the art, the artists, the space, and the context around them. Since kids love to run around and can sometimes be loud, public outdoor art exhibits are a safe and entertaining way to give children exposure without fighting with them to behave. Most museums offer family days or family programs online including kid-friendly arts and crafts, book readings, and other stimulating activities that are fun and educational.
3. WATCH YOUR KIDS EXPERIENCE ART & YOU’LL LEARN TOO
Tam told me that observing her kids experience art inspired her to make one of her boldest career moves. She explained that because kids discover the world through their multiple senses, it’s counter-intuitive to tell them “Don’t touch!” That is when she realized that most art was exhibited in a way that felt unnatural. Exhibitions are usually restricting and intimidating and are meant to be seen with your hands behind your back. This understanding led Tam to start commissioning artists to create interactive art.
Interactive art is meant to stimulate the 16 additional human senses including: hearing, touch, taste, smell, pressure, itch temperature, pain, thirst, hunger, direction, time, muscle tension, proprioception, equilibrioception, and extrasensory perception. Interactive art is inclusive for children and offers adults the instinctive childhood experience of exploring beyond their visual senses. Experiencing art using your entire body leaves you no choice but to connect, especially in a world filled with technology and 2D imagery.
You probably have interactive art at home. One day, Tam’s kids were playing with Mister Potato Head and her 3-year-old said, “He is like Picasso!” Kids interpret what they experience to their everyday lives and it becomes a part of how they see the world.
4. ASK YOUR KIDS WHAT THEY THINK
When looking at art, let your children explore and seek out what they want to see first. Tam says that at home, she tries to steer them towards specific books that she knows will stimulate them more than others. If you are looking for a way to have your children express their emotions in a constructive way, which can often be extremely challenging, see what they are drawn to and ask them questions.
Once, Tam and her daughter encountered a piece that was made with broken glass and other found objects. Her daughter asked why the piece was broken. Tam explained that the artist was probably angry and had broken objects to create something beautiful, and that is art. Her daughter was happy to hear this, and it seemed like she identified with those feelings. That moment might not have happened had Tam not allowed her daughter to seek out the piece and then start talking about it.
5. APPRECIATING ART AT HOME
One of Tam’s favorite summertime activities with her kids is inspired by the established artist Carlos Cruz Diez and his color studies. A great activity to do outdoors is to use food coloring, water, and droppers in different bowls. Kids can learn about primary colors and by mixing them, they can find out which secondary colors are created. The kids entertain themselves for hours, playing with the water and their toys.
While we navigate the summer with our children, exploring new forms of art is a positive way to spend the day, will inspire your children to be creative, and may even offer them a way to express some of their frustrations and emotions and turn it into something beautiful.
I'm a mom of two children, wife, and love my fur baby, traveling and playing UNO. My passion is discovering services and products by entrepreneurs, especially those that can cut down on some screen time and help our family create lasting memories together.
When it comes to making dinner, no one knows the struggle more than author, nutrition coach and chef, Sarah Adler. The woman behind Simply Real Health is committed to making no muss, no fuss dinners that are healthy and easy. That’s where her Veggie & Red Lentil Curry Stew comes in. With less than 10 ingredients, this family-friendly meal can be made three ways and is the perfect way to sneak in those veggies.
Veggie & Red Lentil Curry Stew Makes 6-8 servings
Ingredients:
2 cups red lentils
5 cups water
1 large bag frozen broccoli (or 3-4 cups fresh)
1 large bag frozen butternut squash (or 3 cups fresh)
1 yam, cubed
5 carrots, roughly chopped
1 TB red curry paste (I used Thai Kitchen)
2 tsp sea salt + 1 tsp pepper
Directions: For a IP: Add all ingredients to an Instant Pot, close tamper to high pressure and set for 30 minutes.
If making in a crockpot: add all ingredients in and cook for 4 hours high or 6 hours low.
If making traditionally in a stock pot: sauté veggies first, then add lentils, curry, s + p and liquid and bring to a boil, then cover and reduce heat until lentils are cooked and broken down, about 15-20 minutes.
For more recipes from Sarah check out her cookbook, Simply Real Eating which is available on Amazon for $19.89.
The “I Spy” game is a perfect puzzle to amuse the kids any day. Consider it your secret weapon for long road trips or traffic jams. Here’s a new item for your “I’m bored!” arsenal: a do-it-yourself I Spy jar. This easy, sensory craft is low- to no-cost and as added bonus puts to use some of those miscellaneous toys and odds and ends you’ve been meaning to recycle. Scroll down for tips on making your own.
You will need:
Filler. You are limited here only by your imagination and the size of the jar. Look for small toys, dice, dominos, pencils, broken watches, cool coins, earrings, broken hair clips, spools, old keys or similar items. Here’s your excuse to round up all the goody bag/vending machine toys and those game pieces you lost the rest of. Avoid anything too heavy (rocks) that could potentially break the jar if shaken.
Jars. Any size jar will do, but how much or how little you put in will depend on your jar. For little kids who might shake the jar more vigorously, try a jar with a screw-top lid like a Mason jar.
Pencil and paper. You can either make your child a check-list to try and find certain things or have them write (or say out loud while you write) the things they spot.
Gather round. First, hunt down your items, preferably while the kids aren’t looking. This is an easy craft to do with the kids, but it’s also fun to make sure they don’t know what’s going in the jar.
For the littles.For toddlers or younger, you can add fewer things to the jar or multiples. For example, if you want to teach about the number 3, put 3 red beads, 3 small dinosaurs, 3 plastic swords, etc. Remember, you can use any item that fits and even if it is a beloved toy, you can just take it out at the end of play.
Switch it up. If you want more of a challenge, make the check-list you create for your kids a puzzle, too. Ask them to find something that opens a door, or something that meows. You can also save some room and then add one item to the jar a day and see if they can figure out what it is.
