ML Interest Tag: frustration

Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez Just Donated a Year’s Worth of Food to an Elementary School

by Shahrzad Warkentin

There have been a lot of stories in the news lately on the controversy of school lunch debt, but there’s at least one ray of sunshine among them. Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez just donated a year’s worth of food to an elementary school.

Teacher Brooke Goins of Jacksboro Elementary took to Facebook to share her frustration and sadness over a student not getting enough to eat. “Today I cried at work. Not because I hate my job, or that it is just too hard (it really is). Today I cried for a child, a child who so innocently talked about food, and the lack of it.”

Goins continued to share the heartbreaking story of a little boy from her school. “He asked when the lady that puts food in his backpack was coming. It caught me off guard, because it is our guidance counselor and I wasn’t sure what he needed. I told him I wasn’t sure about this week since it is a short week. He told me he was out of it at home and needed more,” she wrote in her post. “Then it happened… he looked at me and said, ‘those little o’s (as he made a small circle with his hand), we don’t have those at my house, but when I do have them they give me a warm belly and help me sleep.’ I lost it, I cried in front of 20 little people. No kid should ever be hungry, ever.”

Goins went on to explain that she called on her teacher friends and together they ensured that the student went home with plenty of food. Her post went viral, with thousands of commenters applauding her actions. That’s where Lopez and Rodriguez come in.

Having seen Goins’ post, the couple donated a year of meals from Tiller & Hatch, their company which sells frozen meals available online and at Walmart. Lopez shared a video of the couple surprising the kids with their generous gift.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B3-EbOWJ2Mg/

“This is why being a business owner, and having actual ownership in companies (not licensing), is so important to me and Alex, especially as Latinos,” Lopez wrote in her post. “Everyone should have access to delicious, nutritious food. This was my favorite moment of the month and it’s one of the best things we’ve been able to do.”

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Jennifer Lopez via Instagram

 

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Parenting Is Basically “Going on a Bear Hunt” Every Single Day

By Nicole Schmitz

It’s funny how, as new parents, we learn as we go, despite reading the books and listening to the podcasts. Just like what our little ones experience, once we think we have something figured out, it changes. Once a routine or a phase seems like it’s working, our children grow, learn a new way to explore or express, and we all have to learn how to navigate the next stage together.

Even though I nannied and babysat for 20 years before I had my son, there was so much I wasn’t prepared for. I wasn’t prepared for the unrelenting moments of frustration. I wasn’t prepared for my lack of freedom. I wasn’t prepared for the tears—mine, not his. Everyone told me that being a parent was the hardest job in the world. Now, I realize it’s just one of those things you need to experience for yourself to really understand.

As my preschooler recently turned three and reached a few major milestones, he also learned a few new things about his independence and ability to express himself. The routines and consistency that I had worked so hard to create for us in the last two or so years suddenly were no longer of interest to him. My brief, predictable hours of freedom during nap and after bedtime had become a battle…along with everything else, it felt like: meals, baths, cleaning up, getting in the car, getting out of the car, getting dressed and getting undressed.

Being someone who actively promotes self-care to my friends, family and clients, I know how important it is to prioritize my own needs, from meals and showers to alone time and quiet time. It took me a while to figure all of that out. If I can’t have these things, how can I be the best me? I couldn’t—and my son’s new demeanor was throwing all of this off track. I didn’t like it.

I found myself struggling with his behavior and my own reactions to it. This wasn’t what I expected. This wasn’t our routine. This wasn’t fair.

I started feeling something I remember vividly from his infancy. I felt disappointed for feeling disappointed and worse, guilty for my immature selfishness—and those feelings made me want to crawl out of my own skin. I was obsessed with and in love with my son. I had always wanted to be a mom. I read all the books. I ate all the organic foods. I breastfed. I gave up all of my time and my work and my body and my social life for him.

At that time, I thought, “Why doesn’t he see that? Why was he still crying? Why am I not happier?” I couldn’t believe more women weren’t shouting this from their Twitter feeds and at our park play dates. Most of them seemed elated every time I saw them; I know know they weren’t, really.

Two-and-a-half years later, I found myself on his bedroom floor, leaned against his crib, crying almost as loudly as he was while he refused his nap and my hugs, unable to express how confused and frustrated he was with his tiredness, lack of pacifier and a new schedule. I’m sure he desperately wanted to convey his wants and needs. He was probably thinking something like, “Why are you doing this to me?” (Ditto, kiddo.)

Well, I am sure most of this is all too familiar to some of you. But weirdly, I found solace in one of the unlikeliest of places: one of my son’s children’s books. You probably know the book, or at least the little chant of “Going on a Bear Hunt.”

Can’t go over it. Can’t go under it. We’ve got to go through it.

And it’s so true when it comes to parenting.

We’ve been reading this book nightly as of late and it started making me giggle when I considered its symbolism. My child, who, five minutes prior was screaming while refusing his evening bath (like, “I feel I should email my neighbors asking them not to call CPS” type of screaming), was now snuggling with me in the rocking chair, our cheeks touching, singing along to the book and making eye contact as though I was the only human in the world.

It’s a phase. But it’s also a process: it’ll pass, it’ll get easier…and it’ll get harder, too. We’ve got to go through it—and learn from it.

What I’ve been learning is that we can’t have expectations. I’ve learned to be grateful for my flexible work and lifest‌yle, my ability to mindfully change my thoughts and reactions, and for resources like friends and Janet Lansbury’s podcast and books to shift my understanding around my child’s totally normal brain. The frustration and hurt will return from time to time but I just have to remember: can’t go over it. Can’t go under it.

We’ve got to go through it—and we will, too.

Nicole L. Schmitz, helps others to improve their energy, digestion, sleep, nutrition, weight, and health conditions with simplified, cleaner eating, and better self-care. She is a mother, aspiring yogi, writer, and artist, loves living by the beach, and inspiring others to make clear and confident healthy lifest‌yle choices every day. 

 

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How to Watch “Canticos,” a Mom-Created Bilingual TV Series for Preschoolers

by Erica Loop

When one mom saw a gap in children’s edutainment, she decided to do something about it. The now-Emmy nominated bilingual series, Canticos on Nickelodeon, is the brainchild of mom Susan Jaramillo. This is a show your tot totally needs.

With brightly-colored bilingual animals that sing traditional Spanish-language lullabies, Canticos is something that didn’t exist in the children’s programming arena prior to Jaramillo. The cute characters first appeared in a set of bilingual board books, published by Jaramillo, her friend Nuria Santamaria-Wolfe and Santamaria-Wolfe’s husband Steven Wolfe-Pereira. Soon after, the trio used Jaramillo’s connections as a top marketing exec to pitch and eventually seal a deal with Nickelodeon.

Jaramillo told NBC News, “Nuria and I shared a frustration over the lack of available bilingual books and media available for children. It really became a shared passion and mission.” The mama, marketing maven and entrepreneur also added, “We wanted to bring all these wonderful stories and songs that were so popular throughout the Spanish-speaking world to new audiences, so Americans would also appreciate all these wonderful songs.”

Canticos debuted on Nick Jr.’s digital platforms in 2018. Your kiddo can meet the lovable bilingual animated animals on NickJr.com, Nick’s YouTube channel, the NOGGIN app and Nickelodeon’s paid subscription app. Nickelodeon is also reportedly working on a consumer products line featuring the Canticos characters for infants and toddlers, set to launch later this year.

—Erica Loop

Photos: Courtesy of Nickelodeon

 

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Saying Sorry Is Hard—Especially When You’re a Parent

By David Willans

Saying sorry is something I’ve made a conscious effort to do more of with my kids because it helps repair the connection with them when something has happened to break it, like me nagging or getting cross at them for something they’ve done. It also role models values that are important to me, humility, self-awareness, taking responsibility and kindness.

So when my kids say sorry, I feel good. I feel they are growing, that I’m being a good dad. But recently my kids told my wife that they don’t see the point in apologizing to me, because I don’t listen. This was hard for me to hear, so I asked them about it.

“As soon as I’ve said sorry, you always bring up what I did wrong.”

I thought for a few moments and realized they were right. I do. I realized I normally say something like “Thank you for saying sorry. You understand why it’s not okay to…” I realized I did this because I want to use that moment as an opportunity for them to learn. But I wasn’t timing it right.

Saying sorry is hard.

It’s hard for grown-ups to say, and we’ve probably said it thousands of times. So for a child, it’s even harder. When someone says sorry, the very act of doing it brings a sense of relief. Saying sorry properly is something you can only really do when you’ve worked through the guilt, frustration and often shame. Being and saying sorry in itself takes work.

When I take them back to the moments they are apologizing for, in pursuit oof learning, it squashes that relief and takes them back to the place of guilt, frustration with themselves and, probably, shame. The very place they had worked through to get to sorry.

Instead of helping them learn, I was doing the opposite.

My reaction is the result of not really thinking from their perspective, all it does is take them backwards, not forwards. My thinking is too short term. I wasn’t recognizing the need to separate sorry out from learning how to avoid the situation that led to sorry in the first place. They are two things, that need to be addressed separately, not bundled into one.

Yes, I want them to learn from their mistakes, but that can only happen when they are ready. Doing the hard work of getting through guilt, frustration and shame needs to be recognized. Only once that’s done, and they have some distance from the event itself, can they learn from it.

Helping them learn from their mistake is something that can happen later, in a conversation when the emotions from that moment have gone, when they aren’t raw anymore. Then they can look at it with a clearer head.

Now, well, mostly now, I just say “Thank you for saying sorry.” Then start the conversation about the mistake later. So I wasn’t as good a dad as I thought at the time, but now I’m a bit better than I was.

This post originally appeared on BeingDads.

David Willans is a dad to two boys (7 and 9). In 2014 he caught himself being an angry dad, so he set out to work out and master what it means to be a great dad. His blog, BeingDads, documents what he's learning and shares stories from other dads. 

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Mom’s Viral Post about Kids’ Clothes Sparks Conversation with Surprising Outcome

by Shahrzad Warkentin

Are you tired of the battle of pink versus blue in the kids’ clothing department? One mom’s viral Instagram post about gender-neutral pajamas for kids opened up an important conversation about a much-needed change to the entire clothing industry.

Jamie Stelter, mom to a 21-month old girl and morning traffic anchor for local New York City news channel NY1, vented her frustration over the lack of diversity among kids pajamas at The Gap on Instagram. The post, which she warned was a “mom rant,” began “I just bought these super cute traffic PJs for Sunny from the little boys department of Gap but WHY WHY WHY are they not also in the girls department?! cause they’re blue? cause they have cars on them? cause only little boys can like blue and cars.”

The post quickly received hundreds of comments and likes, validating Stelter by letting her know she wasn’t alone in her frustration. Despite the fact that she had not tagged the company in her post, The Gap did comment with a promising response apologizing for her experience and agreeing that a change is needed. The company has since made some changes with the same pajamas being offered on both the girls and boys pages.

“Our design team in New York City creates PJs for both boys and girls to wear and love, mix and match,” a spokesperson for the brand told TODAY. “We are working with our merchants on improving the online shopping experience to better reflect our design intent.”

Many parents who responded to her post highlighted companies that are already offering gender neutral options, like Céline Dion’s gender neutral children’s clothing line Celinununu. Stelter hopes more companies will follow suit and accept the idea that clothing doesn’t need to be separated by gender, especially at this young age.

“I had no idea I would be totally flooded,” Stelter said. “One woman said her son has been bullied for wearing pink. Another told me that her daughter likes the boys’ stuff better, but doesn’t feel comfortable shopping in the boys’ department. My post really touched a nerve. Clearly I’m not the only person who wants to see a change.”

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Mon Petit Chou Photography via Unsplash

 

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Bright, Just Different: How Parents Can Help Kids with Learning Differences

By Dr. Deborah Ross-Swain & Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider

All children are smart in their own way. Some children, however, have individual learning st‌yles that don’t allow them to succeed with traditional learning methods.

These children are not disabled. They’re quite capable of learning everything their peers learn. They just learn in a different way. But children with learning differences are often robbed of their confidence and joy.

It can be tremendously difficult for parents to accept that their child may have a learning challenge that interferes with the child’s success and potential. The possibility can leave parents feeling helpless and isolated. Yet, because parents know their child best, it’s critically important that they recognize any learning differences and seek help. Early intervention can have a significant impact on a child’s success in school—and in life. If addressed early, problems associated with learning differences can be minimized and success maximized.

In educational settings, learning differences typically aren’t realized until children enter the primary grades, when reading, spelling and math are introduced. Then, the child may exhibit signs that could be interpreted as a behavior problem, when they’re really a reflection of the child’s frustration with a learning difference.

Children are smart. They realize when other children are “getting” what they aren’t in the classroom. They recognize that, despite working hard, paying attention, listening and doing their homework, school isn’t getting any easier. They feel less and less successful and more and more different.

For children who feel different, expert intervention is important, but feeling connected and good about oneself is essential. Here is where parents play an important role. They can help make success happen for their child, all the while building their child’s confidence and joy.

To do this, parents will need to put on their sleuth’s hat and uncover how best to accomplish these five essentials for their child’s success:

Investigate the way your child processes information best.

“Learning st‌yle” can be interpreted in different ways. Generally, it’s broken down by visual, auditory or kinesthetic (touching and/or movement). But a child can be an auditory-visual learner, for instance or an auditory-kinesthetic learner—or even a combination of all three. But learning is also influenced by a child’s emotional state. Parents and teachers will want to discover a child’s learning st‌yle, as well as watch and note learning response behaviors that can reveal lots of information as to how a child can be a successful learner.

Determine what learning experiences mirror your child’s interests.

Children do best when they’re interested in a topic. Watch your child closely. Observe him during his daily activities. Notice when he smiles. See what he can’t wait to do. When you see what your child gravitates toward, expand on it. If your child loves the park and has movement concerns, for example, figure out which playground equipment would be best for body movements, strengthening, balance, etc. and play together on it. Be a kid again yourself!

Keep any comparisons with other children confidential.

Your child is smart in her own way. Celebrate the differences and love each child unconditionally. Instead of intimidating your child through comparisons with siblings or classmates, realize your child is a different learner and encourage her unique interests and abilities. For example, Carly’s brother Jason could speak and read two languages at the age of nine. Carly, though, enjoyed putting coins in money rolls and taking them to the bank to deposit. Jason grew up to become a language professor, while Carly became a successful commodities broker.

Uncover and praise your child’s strengths.

All children have strengths. You need to fully recognize what stands out about your child. What can he do that’s different from others? What is he willing to try that the other children won’t? Make a point to praise your child’s special qualities and not to call out any weaknesses. Your child may have a kind heart and a willingness to share toys with others. Catch him comforting another child who is upset and let him know that you appreciate his gift of compassion.

Find ways to have fun with your child.

Making learning tedious with a “to do” list can bring everyone down. Put tasks aside and give your child your undivided attention for a period of time each day—even if it’s only five minutes—apart from her siblings. Let her be the leader and you the follower. Let her choose the activity (within reason), whether it’s going on a scavenger hunt or just cuddling on the couch. She is in control now and there’s no right or wrong way of doing anything.

Different doesn’t have to be negative for children with learning differences. In order to ward off feelings of frustration and failure, parents and teachers must know how the child learns best and allow the child to experience success, both academically and socially. From success, confidence and joy will grow and lead to more success.

This post originally appeared on Psych Central.
Dr. Deborah Ross-Swain & Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Dr. Deborah Ross-Swain is a licensed speech-language pathologist and CEO of the Swain Center for Listening, Communicating and Learning. Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider is CEO of TouchTime International. Drs. Swain and Schneider’s new book, Confidence & Joy, provides parents with tools to help children with learning differences realize lifelong success.

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This New Law Mandating Changing Tables in Men’s Rooms Is Long Overdue

by Shahrzad Warkentin

One state is finally recognizing the fact that yes, dads actually change diapers, too, by establishing a new law that requires changing tables in men’s rooms.

The new law went into effect Jan. 1, making New York the first state in nation to mandate that all new and renovated buildings with public restrooms be equipped changing tables in both the women’s and the men’s rooms. New York City had previously passed the same law in 2017.

Photo: Mike Mozart via Flickr

When the legislation was first introduced last April, New York State Sen. Brad Hoylman explained, “It’s not just moms who change diapers. Dads need to step up and do their part of the dirty work, too. By including my bill for requiring baby changing stations in both male and female restrooms in the final budget, Governor Cuomo and the legislature are taking an important step in recognizing changing parental norms, including a new generation of gay dads like me who no longer should have to change their babies on the bathroom floor because there’s no changing station in the men’s restroom.”

In June 2018, one dad’s Facebook post went viral pointing the sexist double-standard of having changing tables exclusively in women’s restrooms.

This dad was hardly alone, as many dads across the country have taken to social media to express their frustration over the lack of changing tables in men’s rooms.

This kind of law is long overdue and here’s hoping more states will follow New York’s lead in advocating for all parents.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: PIX1861 via Pixabay

 

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Gabrielle Union Posts Moving Birth Announcement After Years of Infertility Battles

by Erica Loop

After a long journey, Gabrielle Union is finally a mom. The actress welcomed a daughter on Nov. 7 with her husband Dwayne Wade. Her birth announcement is so moving, especially given her fraught journey to parenthood.

Union has spoken openly about her fertility struggles. The new mom, now 46, suffered multiple miscarriages on her road to becoming a mommy. While appearing on Dr. Oz, she revealed that she’s had eight or nine miscarriages, but has “lost track” of the total number.

The rocky road to parenting didn’t end there. In her book We’re Going to Need More Wine: Stories That Are Funny, Complicated, and True, the actress candidly wrote about the miscarriages as well as her failed IVF attempts.

The now-new mama told People in 2017, “For so many women, and not just women in the spotlight, people feel very entitled to know, ‘Do you want kids?'” She went on to add, “A lot of people, especially people that have fertility issues, just say ‘no’ because that’s a lot easier than being honest about whatever is actually going on. People mean so well, but they have no idea the harm or frustration it can cause.”

After more than their fair share of disappointments Union and Wade tried surrogacy—and clearly it was a success! In her sweet IG announcement Union writes, “We are sleepless and delirious but so excited to share that our miracle baby arrived last night via surrogate and 11/7 will forever be etched in our hearts as the most loveliest of all the lovely days.”

Aww. Congrats to the new parents!

—Erica Loop

Featured Photo: Gabrielle Union via Instagram 

 

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12 of the Best Baby and Toddler Books about Feelings

by Oz Spies

Becoming a person can be a mystifying experience – what are all these feelings rolling around inside? What, exactly, does it mean when someone smiles or cries? Introduce your little one to joy, sorrow, worry, and the sillies with one of these 12 books about feelings.

Happy Hippo, Angry Duck by Sandra Boynton

Toddler fave Sandra Boynton offers this adorable take on a wide range of emotions, from grumpy to contended. Vibrant, bubbly illustrations show each mood. In a sturdy board book format, this one is sure to stand up to kids who are just as excited as the emotional animals on the pages. Plus, the book ends on a sweet, uplifting note that’ll make readers smile.

Available at amazon.com, $4.79.

Llama Llama Mad at Mama by Anna Dewdney

Llama Llama channels every toddler in this story about a frustration-packed outing that morphs into a full-on tantrum. Smooth rhymes show little ones that everyone gets mad sometimes, and the book will give both kids and parents ideas about how to prevent future meltdowns.

Available at amazon.com, $8.90.

In My Heart: A Book of Feelings by Jo Witek

The evocative language of In My Heart illuminates all sorts of feelings, from sorrow to joy, that will help little ones identify and understand emotions. The bright illustrations, including the friendly girl guiding readers through the layers of her heart, pop off of white pages. Consider this book a good basic overview of moods.

Available at amazon.com, $13.56.

Elmore by Holly Hobbie

Porcupine Elmore longs for friends, but he’s feeling just a bit too, well, prickly for buddies. This sweet tale of friendship shows that loneliness is a universal feeling. Holly Hobbie’s charming illustrations make this heartwarming story one you'll return to again and again at bedtime.

Available at amazon.com, $13.61.

Making Faces by Abrams Appleseed

Making Faces is a short board book that gives babies, who love to look at pictures of other tiny, adorable people, an engaging first introduction to feelings. The book encourages little ones to find and then mimic photographs of children who are surprised, happy, sad, angry and silly. Plus, it’s small and super-portable for on-the-go reading at the park or coffee shop.

Available at amazon.com, $7.95.

Love, Mama by Jeanette Bradley

Cuddly Kipling the penguin misses his mama desperately when she’s on a trip. This lovely story explores the universal experience of feeling sad when you miss someone, and the comfort that a heartfelt message and a long-awaited reunion can bring. Toddlers will learn about sadness, longing, joy and love through Jeanette Bradley’s story.

Available at amazon.com, $13.59.

Brave Enough for Two by Jonathan D. Voss

Olive and her buddy Hoot follow in the grand tradition of heartfelt stuffed animal & child tales that show little ones the power of friendship—think Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin. Explore fear and bravery as you read about Olive and Hoot’s imaginative adventures.

Available at amazon.com, $14.58.

Grumpy Bird by Jeremy Tankard

Grumpy Bird wakes up, well, you guessed it: grumpy. Follow along as he slowly but surely cheers up and breaks into a smile. The bright illustrations communicate Grumpy Bird’s feelings to toddlers listening to this one during story time. Choose from hardcover, paperback or board book editions.

Available at amazon.com, $6.99.

The Color Monster: A Pop-Up Book of Feelings by Anna Llenas

Swirling, whirling emotions can make anyone feel like a monster. Luckily, The Color Monster is here to walk little ones through a description of all different kinds of feelings with the help of eye-catching pop-up illustrations.

Available at amazon.com, $13.96.

Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes

In Wemberly Worried, award-winning author-illustrator Kevin Henkes leads kids on an exploration of anxiety and worries of all sizes. Everyone gets a little worried sometimes, and, with any luck, we too will find a friend to walk with us through our anxiety just like Wemberly the mouse does.

Available at amazon.com, $6.99.

The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires

A little girl gets an amazing, wonderful idea for a project, but it's not easy to bring her idea into reality. In Ashley Spires’ inspiring, relatable book, a budding inventor goes from excitement to frustration and, finally, pride. The Most Magnificent Thing is a charming, funny introduction to emotions, creativity and perseverance.

Available at amazon.com, $14.01.

My Friend Is Sad by Mo Willens

Exuberant Piggie and worried Gerald the elephant are best friends. Each of Mo Willems' award-winning Elephant and Piggie books introduces little storylovers to emotions, from jealousy in My New Friend is So Fun to crankiness in I Will Take a Nap! In My Friend Is Sad, Piggie does her very best to cheer up her sad buddy. As always, Mo Willems’ clever illustrations, from Gerald's droopy trunk to Piggie’s eye-popping antics, show the characters’ feelings.

Available at amazon.com, $7.99.

— Oz Spies

featured photo: Picsea via Unsplash

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5 Helpful Ways Parents Can Set Their Kids Up for Homework Success

By April Sutphen

School comes with a variety of amazing experiences from learning how to read to discovering your favorite teacher, and even acting in the school play. Some of the more stressful components of school include taking exams, remembering your locker combination and, of course, homework.

For some children, homework is a breeze. They might even look forward to doing it! But for others, homework can be a struggle—a dreaded end to an already long day. It’s our job as parents to help make the process of doing homework more enjoyable and less stressful for our kids.

Here are five tips and tricks that I’ve found really work when tackling homework with students.

1. Create a Special Place

Trying to concentrate on homework with LEGOs, puzzles and Goldfish crowding the table and the TV in the next room blasting Nickelodeon isn’t very practical. Just as adults need a quiet, conducive workspace, so do children when it comes time for homework.

If your child is old enough, putting a small desk with a lamp and chair in their room might be the perfect option. Let them choose their decor also—it will provide them a sense of ownership over their space. Even if placing a desk in your child’s room won’t work for you, you can still carve out a small spot among your family’s living space that is designated as the “homework area.”

Clear off one side of your dining room table, leaving it free of clutter. Have a specific drawer for school supplies where your child can find pencils, erasers, a fraction calculator or ruler and scrap paper. This way, at homework time, your child has all the supplies they need and know exactly where to find them.

2. Schedule Time Just for Homework

Kids respond well to routine. Setting up a homework schedule can do wonders for their productivity and concentration. If your child arrives home from school at the same time each day, create a schedule for what happens next.

Maybe they need to unwind a bit before diving into division and word problems. Let them have a healthy snack and 15 to 20 minutes of TV or free time before tackling homework. If your child is involved in sports, you’ll need to take this into consideration when developing a schedule. Maybe homework happens right after school, while their brain is still in “school work” mode. Or, right before dinner. Some children work best at the very end of the day. It’s important to know and learn your child’s work ethic and to create a schedule around that. This will save you both a lot of stress and frustration.

3. Be Involved

Protractors and highlighters aren’t the only tools your child needs to succeed—communication between parent and teacher is an essential tool for educational success. I know from personal experience that I’m not always familiar with the curriculum or techniques that the school is currently using to teach a common math equation. I often ask my son, “How did your teacher explain to do it?” At 7, he doesn’t always remember. To avoid frustration, I send an email to his teacher, asking for clarification. She’ll often respond relatively quickly, with a breakdown of that day’s lesson. Knowing how the information is being taught is an invaluable tool when it comes to helping my son with his homework.

There’s nothing more confusing to a child than having a teacher and a parent try to teach them how to achieve the same answer using two different methods. To avoid this confusion, I recommend keeping in close contact with your child’s instructor. An added benefit to this report is that you can provide your child’s teacher with insight into their learning process. No one knows your child better than you. Maybe your son or daughter works best in the mornings, is left-handed, or needs to read out loud for comprehension. Unless the teacher knows this, your child might experience unnecessary distress. Keep the lines of communication open and both your child and your child’s teacher will thank you!

4. Help—But Don’t Do

This is probably the most difficult part of homework help for me. I have a tendency to give my son the answers, without even realizing that’s what I’m doing!

No one likes to see their child struggle. If your child is getting frustrated or down on themselves during homework time, take a break. Maybe go for a walk, talk about what you’re going to watch on TV that night or your weekend plans.

It’s important that you fight the urge to simply give your child the answers or make the answers obvious without having your child do the work. Without making mistakes or practicing the technique, your child will never learn how to get the answers on their own. Even if in that moment it feels easier just to tell them what to do, in the long run, you’re actually creating more of a hurdle in your child’s learning process.

5. Be a Cheerleader

Even if you never wanted to be a cheerleader in high school, now is the time!

As frustrated as your child might get with their homework, don’t be surprised if you feel the same frustration. It can be emotionally and mentally taxing when your child doesn’t understand the work or the explanation you’re trying to give. Try to stay calm and positive.

Encouraging your child can be a huge aid in their success at homework time. Point out all of your child’s accomplishments, no matter how big or small! “Look at that! You finished your reading three minutes faster than last week,” or “I only helped you with five math problems today, that’s a big improvement from yesterday.” Show your child how proud you are when they take their time and complete their homework correctly and neatly. Even if your child is still struggling, your motivation will keep them from giving up.

The most important thing to remember when helping your child successfully complete their homework assignments is to keep your attitude and the environment positive and productive. Make it a positive experience. This doesn’t mean your child will quickly finish every assignment, every day, without assistance. But it does mean you’re setting them up for success!

 

Featured Photo Courtesy: picjumbo_com/Pixabay

I am a 32 year old mother of a son and wife to an officer. I am honest about both the love and struggle of parenting. I enjoy being active and writing is my passion, second only to my family.

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