self care bath woman

photo: Brandy Kennedy via Unsplash

Let’s not undervalue the importance of taking care of ourselves.

If you are a mom who does #allthethings and you are having trouble remembering the last time you did something for you, then it might be time to take a few minutes for you.

Because you can’t give what you don’t have. In other words, in order to take care of others, you must take care of yourself FIRST.

Self-care looks different for everyone. And, I like to divide all self-care into three categories: Mind, Body and Soul

So, here are some simple, inexpensive ways for you to get back to taking care of yourself and making yourself a priority again.

Self-Care for the Mind

1. Read a few pages in a personal development book.

2. Spend some time journaling.

3. Write down three affirmations.

4. Create a vision board.

5. List ten gratitude statements.

6. Watch an inspirational video.

7. Take a few minutes to read part of a fiction story.

8. Learn how to do something new.

9. Paint something.

10. Walk around a museum for an afternoon.

11. Create a piece of pottery.

12. Sketch a picture of your favorite scenery.

13. Make yourself a cup of tea.

14. Go window shopping. Alone.

15. Buy yourself a new outfit.

16. Wear perfume.

Self Care for the Body

17. Take a walk around your neighborhood.

18. Go on a hike.

19. Make yourself a healthy meal.

20. Stretch.

21. Go to bed early.

22. Sleep in.

23. Treat yourself to a healthy dessert.

24. Plant some flowers.

25. Ride a bike.

26. Play a game of mini-golf.

27. Go for a swim.

28. Dance.

29. Get your hair done.

30. Give yourself an at-home facial.

31. Give yourself a pedicure.

32. Take a bath.

Self-Care for the Soul

33. Meditate.

34. Count your breaths up to 10 and then back to zero.

35. Practice Yoga.

36. Take a nap.

37. Say three affirmations aloud.

38. Watch the sunrise.

39. Watch the sunset.

40. Listen to some music.

41. Play some music.

42. Light some scented candles and relax.

43. Diffuse some essential oils.

44. Listen to a guided meditation.

45. Say no to something that you don’t want to do, without explaining yourself.

46. Celebrate YOU.

47. Look through pictures that make you smile.

48. Take an impromptu day trip to the beach.

49. Have lunch with a friend.

Self-care doesn’t have to take a long time or cost a lot of money. I like to recommend taking 15 minutes per day to invest in you. The key is to take this time without interruptions or distractions.

Bridgette is married with three daughters (twins plus one.) She hates to cook, loves to write, and is addicted to inversions. She believes that we aren't just meant to SURVIVE motherhood, but to THRIVE through motherhood. 

Have you forgiven yourself? Yes, you read that correctly. Have you forgiven yourself? We are human beings, and we make mistakes. Somehow or another, parent status is synonymous with perfection. We expect it from others, especially now in the digital age, and we expect it from ourselves. We portray images online and cry in private. I am just 13 days away from entering my 30th year of parenting and I can tell you that perfect is not how I would describe those years. They were perfectly broken. They were perfectly difficult. They were perfectly dysfunctional. I think you are starting to understand.

My oldest daughter, who will be 29 in a couple of weeks, has chosen to not talk to me or her sisters for a year and a half now. Mental health issues have been a steady theme in our lives. By the time I found out that I was pregnant with her, I had thought about suicide more times than I care to count, had taken drugs, had drank until I puked, had stayed out all night, had slept with too many guys, flunked out of my freshman year of college, and the list of poor choices goes on. I was looking for validation. I needed someone to make me feel like I was okay. I needed to feel like my presence mattered. I thought having my daughter would change things. I thought that she would give me everything I was looking for. I was scared as hell, but in my young mind I couldn’t come to any other decision but to continue with the pregnancy. 

They say that hindsight is 20/20 but even now I don’t think I know what the right choice was. Perhaps keeping her helped me stay away from some damaging behaviors but not all of them. I continued to use alcohol for many years. I went out at nights trying to find fun and excitement. I had men in and out of my life. I failed at getting my college degree. I quit jobs when things got hard or I didn’t know how to resolve issues. I have thought about the alternatives. But there is not another person that could love her more than I did and do. However, I was broken. Right now, I am, at best, refurbished.

I think about those years more than you could even imagine that I do. I could never find peace and admonished myself many nights in the dark when I was trying to sleep. Once my daughter became an adult, she seemed to get more adjusted as time went on. She was finding her stride and told me thank you many times. I mentioned several times that I was happy that she still loved me. I would tell her this because it was truly how I felt, and I knew that if she could still love me after everything I put her through that maybe I could find a way to forgive myself. In the last few years, I started to allow myself to heal and forgive myself for everything: the poor choices, the yelling, the lack of guidance, the physical punishments, etc. Everything changed this year when you spoke about your recent diagnoses. That telephone conversation brought everything back and the doubt and self-punishment crept back in. This was closely followed by another conversation where you asked me questions that I knew would come someday. Questions that could have been asked a dozen times over the last ten years. 

It is impossible for us to do better until we know better. It really wasn’t until a few years ago that my mind started to get better. I took control of my depression and anxiety. I started walking every day and allowing myself to get in my thoughts and resolve how I felt about my life. I started to lose weight and gain a smile. I started to get more active in my community. I joined the booster club associated with my daughter’s basketball team, made friends, and eventually started to feel like a good person. This was a stark difference to all the parenting years beforehand. I was never involved. I didn’t go to school events and, most of the time, would try to talk my kids out of taking part in things that would require me doing so. My oldest daughter had ADHD and that, combined with my own mental health issues, just made it nearly impossible for me to be an active parent. I was always exhausted, sad, and angry.

And part of the process of knowing better and moving forward is the process of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process and is never over. We will, most likely, need to continue forgiving ourselves for years to come. I know that I am. Allow yourself to go down the road of forgiveness and you will find yourself in the glorious world of the chaotic perfection that is parenting. I ask you again, have you forgiven yourself? 

I am a single mom of three beautiful daughters ages 29, 20, and 15.  At 50, I am recently divorced and making a career change.  I'm trying to put my BA and my MA to use finally!  My life hasn't always been easy but I feel good about the future!

Krispy Kreme is on a roll! Today the beloved chain launched its first-ever cinnamon rolls to make your breakfast run even sweeter. And yes, there’s one topped with Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

For a limited time you can buy the Original Glazed Cinnamon Roll or the Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cinnamon Roll, topped with your fave childhood cereal and finished with a cereal milk icing swirl. Don’t mind us as we drool all over our screens.

Instead of the traditional frosting, Krispy Kreme opted to use its iconic donut glaze for the rolls. They’re hand-rolled and feature a yeast-raised dough, because the best baked goods always take time. Grab them individually or in a special four pack, in shops and online at participating locations.

Unfortunately for cinnamon roll fans, these babies are only around until October 10. Grab one this week and enjoy it with Krispy Kreme’s fall drinks!

—Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Krispy Kreme

 

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As the Founder of Zovargo, a zoo that brings animals to you—I have had the honor of sharing our animals with thousands of children over the years and I’ve seen a lot of parties. And while some are over-the-top, most are successful for the reasons listed below. So if you’re thinking of adding animals to your next special celebration, here are the things to consider to make your party the happiest celebration yet.

1. Location, Location, Location
Having animals at your party will certainly be an exciting, if not, the most exciting part of your party. Try to avoid parks and busy public locations because you don’t want other children from the playground to drop into your party. It’s distracting from your special event, and can be challenging for the animal handlers because they have to keep track of which children are part of your party or just drop-ins. Choose a private location, like your home, but also make sure there’s enough space for the guests to spread out and be comfortable.

2. Animal Selections
While picking the animals is sometimes the most fun part of planning your animal party, keep in mind which animals the children will really enjoy. And while it’s hard to stray away from impressing your own friends, remember—it’s a kid’s party, not an adult party. Experts that are bringing the animals have lots of experience. Trust me on this and listen to their suggestions! The animal handlers know their animals, and they know what species works best for different age groups. So many times I have had people request the “largest animal you have” for a toddler party. This never works out well as tiny people are scared of large animals. Listen to the experts and go with what you know your child will love!

3. Look for a Unique Experience
The days of traditional petting zoos are fading as more people become aware that lots of tiny people trampling around a corral of animals isn’t the perfect idea of a party. This is old-school and is unsafe, unsanitary, and stressful for animals. Zoos like Zovargo, travel to you and bring enough staff to provide a safe experience that is manageable and highlights each special animal one at a time.

It’s also helpful to look for places that offer a special experience with the animals instead of just an opportunity to pet them. For example, who can say they’ve shaken the hand of a duck? This is just one type of extra-special experience that will leave some lasting memories for the children and your guests.

4. Manage Your Wild Guests
Plan ahead for late arrivals. To do this, have your guests arrive 30-60 minutes ahead of the animal program start time. As the animal handler, we have had to delay our start for late guests more times than I can count. While this is not a problem, consider that the animals are sitting in crates just waiting for their time with the children. They may have traveled an hour (or hours) to get to your party already and then we all wait which is unfair to everyone. Another party tip? Mind the adult chatter. Yes, it’s a party, and parents sometimes like to let loose, but be mindful that adult chatter can cause a distraction from the animal program forcing the animal presenters to have to speak louder than the parents so the kids can hear. To prevent this, I suggest having an “adult area” if some parents want to catch up while the children are entertained.

5. Avoid Too Many Activities at the Same Time
Usually, the animals are the main attraction, but sometimes there are five other activities happening at the same time! Be mindful, that booking other services like face painting, magicians, caterers, and jumpy houses are all great, but be careful with scheduling too many things. You don’t want to waste money by giving a small group of kids too many things to do while at your party. It’s sometimes best to have one main attraction or activity, and let the kids play the rest of the time. As one of “the animal people,” it’s always a let-down when kids hear pizza has arrived, then they quickly run off to eat. Be mindful of distractions like this and keep a schedule in mind to be considerate of the people you’re booking for your celebration.

6. COVID Considerations
It’s nothing new to consider doing a virtual party, but a ZoomFari virtual animal party takes things up a notch! There are many zoos that offer virtual animal celebrations.  Zovargo offers the reasonably-priced ZoomFari virtual party that allows guests to see animals literally eye-to-eye. This type of party can unite family from all of the world and provide everyone a unique experience together.

 

I'm a conservationist, animal-lover, and I wear many hats! I'm the Founder of Zovargo and with that comes responsibilites for animals, for our clients and for our team of amazing educators and animal handlers!

Calling all Potterheads! A visit to Universal Studios not in the cards right now? Never mind, because you can still get your Butterbeer fix: at Dairy Queen.

Tiktok User @thedairyqueenking has been wowing fans for quite some time with DQ creations but the newest magical creation takes the cake. Pay attention, because this concoction is not on the official menu!

@thedairyqueenking

Calling all Harry Potter fans!! Butter Beer Blizzard!! how to order in comments :) #dairyqueen #harrypotter #harrypottertiktok #fyp #foryou #booktok

♬ Hedwig’s Theme – John Williams

To treat your Butterbeer craving, start by ordering a Blizzard with vanilla syrup, butterscotch syrup, Butterfinger pieces and whipped cream. That’s it!

Be forewarned that not all DQ locations carry butterscotch, so you might want to check before getting too excited, or just order it with caramel instead.

Every child worries. And whether it be about their first day of school or trying out a new sport, every worry matters. It’s important that you, as a parent, let them know that you’re listening, let them know you understand, and help them understand as well. Keep in mind that kids learn how to recognize and express their worry by observing and mimicking others’ behavior or relying on you to teach them! Here’s some tips on explaining worry and anxiety to your little one.

First, start by validating that what they feel is real.
When your child is worried, they might feel like something is wrong with them, or like no one understands them. In fact, they might not even realize that what they’re feeling is worry! It’s important to let your child know that what they’re feeling is okay, and that they’re not alone in these feelings.

More often than not, kids feel worry in a physical way, like a stomachache. But they likely won’t recognize that as being connected to their emotions. It can be helpful to use your own example to explain the connection, “I remember when it was my first day at a new school and my stomach wouldn’t stop hurting…turns out I was feeling worried”.

Validating your kid’s feelings—physical, emotional, and the connection between them—is an important step toward helping them understand anxiety and why they feel it.

Now that they can identify what they’re feeling as worry, what do we do? 
Once your child has practice recognizing worry when they feel it, you may even come up with a plan on how to handle that worry; be it deep breaths, focusing on the present, or saying their worries aloud.

1. Take Deep Breaths
Deep breaths are a simple, yet effective, way to cope with worry. It can aid in relaxing both the mind and body. If your kid is a visual learner, try the box breathing technique. Tell your child to focus on any four-sided object in the room. When they find their target, you’ll want them to inhale for 4 counts as they trace the first side with their eyes or hands, hold their breath for 4 counts as they trace the second side, exhale for 4 counts as they do the same on the third side, and hold for 4 counts as they trace the last side. The counts can be faster or slower depending on your child, and they can go around the four-sided object as many times as they need to feel calm. If they’re not visual learners, have them do the same technique minus the object.

2. Focus on the Present
Say your child has a math test coming up and they’re really starting to worry. Help them learn to focus on the present moment by having them try the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 trick…What are 5 things they can see? How about 4 things they can feel? 3 things they can hear? 2 things they can smell? 1 thing they can taste? Pulling away from worries of the future and focusing on the present can help ease their mind.

3. Talk Back to Your Worries
Sometimes it’s helpful to talk. Even to yourself. Have your little one say their worries out loud. But to make it even better, have them add in the fact that they can handle their worry, that they won’t let it get the best of them. Saying their worries out loud and talking back to them can ease the anxiety-symptoms, and even give them a little boost of confidence!

4. Exercise Patience
Anxiety, albeit complicated, is totally normal. And so is a child not being able to connect those physical symptoms they have with what they’re thinking or feeling. Be patient when teaching them about that connection, be patient when they’re still confused and scared, and be patient when you help them come up with their plans.

Worry and anxiety can be tough for anyone to understand, regardless of age. That being said, let your child know that their feelings are valid, important, and heard. Having that support can make all the difference in the world for them.

To learn more about explaining anxiety to your child, check out Maro Parents.

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Kenzie Butera Davis
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

maro helps parents navigate tough growing-up conversations with their kids: mental health, puberty, empathy & diversity.

Vacationing with kids: stressful, unexpected, but also pretty great. In fact, a new survey found that 52% of parents think trips are more enjoyable if the kids can come too. It’s part of a larger study focusing on family vacations as summer travel season comes to a close.

SWNS, in conjunction with OnePoll and Apple Vacations, surveyed more than 2,000 Americans about their travel preferences and 59% also said that they don’t mind a bad day of vacation, as long as their kids get to enjoy it! That may relate to happy family trip memories—half of respondents who traveled growing up said the excitement will never go away. And despite the headaches of planning and packing, 80% plan to continue family vacations to build strong bonds.

Speaking of packing, respondents ranked it as the least enjoyable part of vacationing (relatable). Once families reach their destinations, there’s plenty of water activities they’re eager to experience. Over one third (35%) said they’re excited for kids to try swimming, visiting a water park (29%) or fishing (28%). Don’t forget those swimsuits when you’re filling those bags!

Finally, it’s no surprise that Americans prioritize price when booking a vacation destination, followed by Wi-Fi access and a pool. Luckily, we have the perfect, budget-friendly ideas no matter where your fam is headed next, from Portland (Oregon) to Portland (Maine)! And if your travel is done for the year, you’ll have plenty of time to snag that hot reservation for next summer!

––Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Jan Kopřiva on Unsplash

 

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Whether you’re #TeamTablet or all about limiting screen time, the use of technology in little hands can be a life-saving boredom buster, enriching and fun—if you’re not having to manage your little one’s every move. Enter Google Kids Space: a new kids mode with content to help kids discover, create, and grow—on tablets at an unarguably incredible price point. Read on to learn more about Google Kids Space and how our editor’s kids used this new tablet experience!

Designed With Kids’ Curiosity In Mind

Jamie Aderski

If you do a Google search for tablets, you'll find a lot of options. What’s hard to find: Tablets designed specifically for kids, with expertly curated content and a straightforward design that kids as young as three can understand. That's where Google Kids Space comes in! To create a one-of-a-kind tablet experience that encourages kids' curiosity, Google teamed up with children’s education and media specialists, teachers and other experts to handpick games and books. The kids mode also recommends videos that spark creativity and play. Paired with the easy-to-use parental controls from Google Family Link, it's a win-win for families. 

Curated Content

S. Massey

When setting up Google Kids Space on your child's tablet profile, your child has the opportunity to select areas of interest, such as sports, cooking, animals, science and more. On their home screen, they'll find content suggestions based on their selected interests. They can easily navigate among the homepage (with new recommendations every day), "Play" (teacher-approved apps and games that are age-appropriate), "Read" (handpicked books), "Watch" (videos from YouTube Kids), and "Make" (videos that encourage offline play). Parental controls that you've set up for your child's Google account managed with Family Link are applied to the curated content that your child might select. Bonus: If your kids are sharing a tablet, each child can have their own profile so they'll be able to customize their own interests! Google Kids Space is best suited for kids aged 3 to 8.

Smart & Easy Parental Controls

iStock

More independence for them with less worry for you: Google Family Link helps parents manage their child’s device. Parents can download the free Family Link app on compatible Android, iOS, and Chrome OS devices. Family Link helps parents do things like allowing or blocking apps on a child's device or setting time limits—all from their own phone. The best news: Since you control the settings through your child's Google account on this tablet, you'll be setting the guardrails for any time your child logs into his or her Google account.

Bottom line: Google Kids Space and Family Link transform tablets into multi-functional, super practical and easy-to-use devices.

Our Experience

S. Massey

In a household with four children ranging in age from 3 to 12, Google Kids Space was a hit with everyone. Since we could easily set up a custom profile for each kid, everyone got to enjoy the tablet and was able to find fun content that fit their age and interests. Once we had her profile set up—which only takes a few minutes—our littlest one was able to navigate between Sesame Street and Peppa Pig videos with only a minimal amount of frustration! When the tablet is open to her account, the home screen has suggestions picked for her, which means she spent more time actually using apps instead of asking us to help her pick a game (and another game after she changes her mind and another after that).

Even though our three year old and 7 year old were using the tablet, which would usually get some resistance about it being a toy for little kids, we got zero complaints about having the same device! When our son was in his profile, he was able to set his interests for vehicles and animals instead of princesses—giving him a very different experience than his sister—and the apps like Code Karts and home screen features like interesting animal facts let him feel like the tablet is for big kids. We had two tablets, but, with different profiles, we could easily take just one with us for traveling! 

Google Kids Space is compatible on select tablets. Learn about compatible tablets here.

—Shelley Massey

* Google Kids Space requires a Google Account for your child. Parental controls require the Family Link app on a supported Android, Chromebook, or iOS device. Books and video content not available in all regions. Video content subject to availability of YouTube Kids app. Books content requires the Play Books app. Availability of apps, books, and video content may change without notice. Google Assistant not available in Google Kids Space.

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Your bags are packed and you’re ready to go—well, maybe. Nothing throws a wrench into a family vacation quite like forgetting that one charging cord for the tablet or not packing enough pairs of socks. To help you prep for your summer vacay, we’ve put together a list of the must-have items for a family road trip. Check out the list below, and download the printable RV Packing List here!

You’ve got enough on your mind, which is why we’re making it easier than ever to plan a summer vacation with the help of Go RVing. Find everything you need to plan a memorable summer road trip here!

– Kenzie Kramer

Photo: Jordan Manfredi

I listen to way too many podcasts—the ones that make you feel more aware, upset, unsure and fascinated. I meditate sometimes and I drink enough water. I’m definitely putting in the work to try to remember who I am, in addition to being a mom, a wife and a business owner.

My “to-do” list, like most caregivers, is long. It lives in my phone and on my mind and if I forget it, it pings me back into submission. It keeps me busy—doing and going, going and doing my way to a satisfactory life. And it makes me feel 82% numb and substantially less alive.

The routine dulls my senses and for a not-new human like myself, it bores me to death sometimes. Sincere gratitude aside, being a mom of young kids is majority monotonous and minority former-self fun. Today, as I was driving home from a meeting, I realized that I had a full tank of gas, my suitcase and not one but two credit cards. I thought, “I could just get away for the weekend, run off and be alone for a full 48 hours. The kids would be fine, my husband would understand.” In fact, he was the one that told me, “I can’t make you happy.”

I wanted to drive far away today and to leave my problems behind. The idea perculated fuzzy in my head, as my fomer-fun self suddenly perked up, like a breath of fresh air had entered my lungs and was pumping life back into me. But as regularly programmed, I instead reverted back to my “to-do” list and pushed the novel-yet-non-sensical idea aside.

Annoyed, I drove back into the mind-blowing experience of modern motherhood. I was driving myself numb and not doing anything about it. Why? Because motherhood is unconditional and transformative. It’s damn beautiful and in that beauty is also a breakdown, an experience of the soul. And because as mothers, we’re trained not to rock the boat. Heck, we are the boat keeping everything afloat.

Deep inside my sticky sense of resentment, hand-dipped in disappointment, I heard my husband say it again inside my  head: “I can’t make you happy. You have to do that yourself.” He was right. This, “But what happened to my life?” baggage wasn’t his or theirs to carry. It was mine, all mine. There was no one left to blame. So now what?

I noticed a motorcyclist driving in front of me and he was masterfully pulling up his front wheel and rocking a wheely. I was at once, in awe and in admiration and also moderately concerned for his health and well-being. We exchanged a thumbs up as I drove by, congratulating him on his fearless feat and in that flash of a moment, I saw a twinkle in his eyes. They were sparkling like sunlight on the water. They were eyes of someone who was happy in that moment. It was that undeniable look you have when you’re doing something that makes you feel alive. When you’re not asking for anyone’s permission to live out loud and disappointing the world by not caring what anyone else thinks. Carl Jung calls it, individualizing, a way of being open-hearted to life.
That’s what I’m looking for. That look, that feeling.

I then have another idea and refuse to let my “to-do” list dictate my decision. I ask Siri,  “How far is Coney Island from here?” She answered, “12 miles.” I veered my car off and decide to take matters into my own hands. To dedcidedly be happy by doing something that actually makes me happy. It was pretty simple: I was going to hit the coasters, because I love riding roller coasters. I took myself on the date night I’ve been so desperately missing and I ended up riding the Thunderbolt front row next to a mom and her daughter. We held hands and screamed our heads off. When I picked up my souvenior picture to remember this version of me that I’ve longed for, I noticed something in my eyes looking back at me. It was that same shine. There’s the me underneath the “to-do” lists and it’s just waiting to come out if only we can allow ourselves to unappolgetically do whatever makes us happy, no outside assistance required.

I’m a beauty hunter, a dreamer, a learner and a doer. I'm also a mama to 2 wild ones (Lily Love + Bear). As a self proclaimed forest fairy + forest school founder, I believe in nature and magic and know that growth happens when you step outside of your comfort zone.