ML Interest Tag: mindful

More Sleep Makes You a More Mindful Mom

By Jake Rubin

As a parent, the idea of getting more sleep sounds about as possible as your toddler never throwing another tantrum. Sleep is like the Holy Grail of motherhood, and while finding it won’t reward you with eternal life, it will undoubtedly give you a renewed spirit.

You might think sleep is a luxury you can’t afford, but truth be told, it’s an investment in being the best mom you can be. No wonder there’s a whole week devoted to getting more shut-eye! Yep, that’s right—we’re now in National Sleep Awareness Week, which runs from Mar. 14 through Mar. 20 this year.‍

Of course, we get it, you want to sleep, but your kids wake you up at all hours (insert reason 1,098,097 here). Or, your kids finally sleep through the night, but you can’t shut your brain off long enough to settle into a restful slumber. Well, don’t worry. In honor of National Sleep Awareness Week, here are a few tips for snagging the sleep you need to be a more mindful mom.

1. Know When to Say Goodnight
Does this sound familiar? The kids are finally asleep, and you decide now it’s the perfect time to finish up that last-minute project, wash the dishes, or simply binge-watch Netflix. The only problem is, you’re also exhausted. The next thing you know, it’s at least 11 p.m., and you’re finally crawling into bed, only to have your kids bouncing on top of you by 6 a.m. or even earlier.

Start training yourself to go to bed earlier so you can face the next day with a more refreshed outlook. It won’t be an easy habit to start, but you can do it with patience and consistency. Each evening, after the kids are in bed, allow yourself to take a few minutes to finish up a small task (accomplishing small goals is a great confidence boost), but only do something that will take you about 20 minutes or less. Then, it’s time to unwind and get ready for bed. If you usually get in bed around 11 p.m., then the first night, shoot for 10:45, the next 10:30, and so on, until you can get in bed by about 9 or 9:30.

2. Snag Some Mini-Snoozes during the Day
Yes, napping is like a dirty secret that no mom wants anyone to know about, but it’s a perfect way to recharge during the day. If your baby is sleeping, then you sleep. If your kids are at school, close your eyes for about 5-to-10 minutes a couple of times throughout the day. It might not sound like much, but you would be amazed at how much these frequent mini-naps can do for your overall sense of well-being and patience.

3. Have a Bedtime Routine (for You)
You probably have a set bedtime routine for your kids; maybe it’s getting a bath, brushing teeth, reading a book, then saying goodnight. You need a routine too. As you’re working on bumping your bedtime to an earlier time, start building your routine. Do something that helps you relax, like a cup of chamomile tea, a crossword puzzle, read a book.

Keep a journal next to your bed and take a few minutes before hitting your pillow to write down anything that’s on your mind, whether it’s things you have to do the next day or something troubling you. This gets all of these thoughts out of your brain so you can focus on sleep. Then, right before you go to bed, check out a MamaZen Mindpower Session to help you drift off to dreamland.

4. Dealing with Interruptions to Your Sleep
Of course, these tips are great for prioritizing your sleep, but children love to throw monkey wrenches into plans! So what happens when you’re finally sleeping deep, and your kids start crying or tugging on your covers at 3 a.m.? Well, it’s going to happen, so take a breath, put the kiddos back in bed (try not to put them in yours), then focus on your breathing as you fall back asleep. It also helps to keep everything as dark as possible as you put your children back to sleep, and do so as quickly and calmly as you can. Making a big deal about it will only prolong the situation.

A well-rested mom is a happier and healthier mom. For more ways to draft off to a better sleep, check out the MamaZen app and audio sessions that will help you start making sleep a priority in your life.

 

This post originally appeared on MamaZen Blog.

Jake Y. Rubin, M.A, is a Board Certified Hypnotherapist, a former university professor of psychology, and a recognized expert in hypnosis and hypnotherapy with degrees in Psychology from UCLA and the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University. He is the founder of the MamaZen app.

 

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Why Raising Generous Kids Just Might Save Us All

by Beth Shea

Raising caring and kind kids in a day and age where just about anything can be ordered and delivered with the click of a button (or a command) is no easy feat. After all, Alexa might seem generous and all, but she’s not where kids need to look for parental guidance. To help you out, we listed a few tips and tricks that’ll help you turn materialistic tendencies into reflective mindfulness––(really!)—because the earlier you teach your kids to be less self-involved and more generous, the better. Keep reading to see them all.

Plant the Seeds of Generosity at Home

Sarah Jane via Pexels

1. Volunteer. Volunteering teaches your kids that giving to others is an act rather than a concept. There are plenty of actions kids can take to aid in causes such as eliminating world hunger. We even have 12 ways kids can give back without leaving the house. There is always a way to be generous that will improve the lives of others.

2. Read books/watch films that teach kids about other people's experiences. Use bedtime stories to make your kids more aware of the plight of fellow humans. These 11 books will teach kids compassion and empathy while inspiring them to change the world for the better.

3. Share stories about the generosity your family has been shown. This theory suggests that you can teach children to give by telling them how much your family has been given. Explain how the generosity of others has helped you, or how someone's generous spirit has helped your child. Doing so will instill a desire to pay it forward.

4. Write it down. When you record daily gratitude, kids will learn to look for it everywhere, and in turn, share it with others. UC Berkeley's Greater Good magazine suggests having kids "think about three instances from their day—a person, an experience, an event—for which they feel thankful. Tell them to write about the details of what happened and who was involved."

Your Kids Are Watching ... So Lead By Example

Derek Thomson via Unsplash

5. Be generous with your words/kindness/good deeds daily. Every parent knows, our kids imitate our actions. So let them see you help their teacher in the classroom, ask your grocery checker how their day is going, buy the coffee for the person in front of you in line ... there are so many ways to be generous with your spirit––and your kids will grow up wanting to do the same.

6. Set the tone and lead by example.
Kids also study their parents closely to see how mom and dad cope with not getting what they want. Take disappointments and setbacks in stride and be the model of a good example by buying less non-essential items. Shift the focus from material possessions to intangible forms of fulfillment. If you fuss at not getting what you want, or you always have to be on to the next purchase instead of enjoying what you have, that attitude will trickle down to your kids.

7. Broaden their perspective of the world.
Parents tend to protect their young kids in a bubble … and rightly so to an extent. But we can get them beyond their limited perspective by teaching them about people in need, and get them involved by donating time or goods to others. Make soup to deliver to an elderly neighbor. Have them select toys and books they no longer use to donate to kids in shelters. Take a new teddy bear to the local children’s hospital for a suffering child, make no-sew blankets for the homeless. No act of charity is too small.

Curb the Gimmes

Anne Spratt via Unsplash

8. Just say NO, and don’t back down.
Prep your kids in the car before a trip to Target or your shopping destination that you will not be buying them ANY toys or trinkets. Even if they clutch that dollar section gizmo in the cart the entire time, they must put it back before checkout time … tantrum or not. When kids know you stand by your word and you front-load them with this information before your outings, it will help to stop begging and pleading on the fly.

9. Or … hit the pause button on purchases.
If there’s something your kid really wants that will benefit them, then try delayed gratification––a practice that has been proven to make people more successful overall in life. Read about The Marshmallow Experiment conducted on kids in relation to delayed gratification here. Some purchases like a new bicycle or a great book could provide life-changing experiences for kids, but if they’re able to wait to buy these items, even for a short amount of time, the payoff will be greater, and they’ll also learn a valuable life skill.

Limit Consumerism

Sunbae Legacy via Pexels

10. Ask: “Is it a need or a want?”
When your kiddo is having a “gimme” moment, ask him if he “needs” the item in questions or if he “wants” it? He’ll most likely instantly know the difference if you explain that you “need” something to survive. If the item is a want, and you’re okay with buying it, consider saving it for the next holiday gift or having your kid spend their piggy bank money to purchase it.

11. Help kids realize the “rush” of getting new stuff is short-lived.
It’s an epidemic among humans to want more and to experience the temporary excitement of buying new items. But, buying too much stuff doesn’t lead to long-term happiness—in fact, it may have the opposite effect, as clutter and keeping up with the Joneses lead to an endless purchase cycle. Give your kid examples of things they’ve bought that are now relegated to a dark corner of the closet or lost under their bed. A light bulb might go on in their head the next time you mention this during one of their “gimme” moments.

Spend More Time Than Money on Your Kids

Jon Flobrant via Unsplash

12. Spend more time than money on your kids.
Prioritize love, laughter and shared positive experiences over acquiring belongings. It’s a fact that family vacations can boost a child’s happiness; consider putting the money you’d spend on frivolous purchases into a vacation fund jar instead. If traveling is a stretch, you can also opt for tickets to a concert or play or a trip to get ice cream.

13. Teach kids to split their piggy bank savings in three ways.
Find a three-way piggy bank that has compartments labeled: save, spend and share. When your kids earn chore money or receive birthday or holiday gift money, have them divide it––however it’s fairly agreed upon between parent and kiddo––into the save, spend and share categories. This allows them to be generous with their own “share” money to give to a cause that moves them (ie: buying dog food for shelter animals) or any way they want to help others. Saving money will teach them goal-setting and the value of a dollar, and the money they have left to spend will mean more to them after this division.

Be Mindful of Media Exposure

Ken Teegardin via flickr

14. Monitor, limit and explain media exposure.
Kids are bombarded by advertisements from morning to night. YouTube videos of kids reviewing the latest “must-have” toys, TV commercials, pop-up ads online, social media ads, even branding by sponsors of school-related events. Explain to your kids that ads serve the sole purpose of making you want to buy things, and then don’t let them fall into that trap. Fast forward/skip commercials when possible too.

15. Make thank you cards a habit.
Handwritten thank you notes have become a lost art, which is unfortunate. When kids take a few minutes to reflect upon and acknowledge the kind deed of someone selecting, buying, wrapping and giving them a gift––it teaches them the full circle process of being both a giver and a gracious recipient. It’s hard for a ‘gimme’ attitude to co-exist with a child who has learned to be gracious. You can discover creative ways to say thank you by clicking here.

––Beth Shea

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9 Reasons Moms Need to Get Their Stress in Check

By Kara Reynolds

Mom life can cause a lot of stress. Between being the amazing carer you are for your kids every hour of the day and making time to care for your own needs, things can get a little more than hectic. Just like any job or role in life, being a mom can come with some serious stress. In fact, moms tend to be more stressed than dads or other parents on average—though dad stress is totally real, too. While there are many reasons why this might be, getting to the root of the stress is what really makes a difference to many stressed-out moms.

It’s no secret that stress can have a negative impact on your health and happiness. People with high-stress careers tend to have higher rates of related health complications and even lower quality of life in some cases. By eliminating stress — or working to get it in check at the very least — you can cultivate a longer, happier, healthier life for you to enjoy with your family. Here are just a few reasons why it’s important to keep your stress in check as a mom.

1. For Your Heart
Your heart is directly related to your stress levels. Issues like high blood pressure and heart complications occur much more often in those with issues related to stress. Especially if heart problems run in your family, keeping your stress at bay can be a literal lifesaver.

2. For Your Immune System
Stress can wear down your immunity, which not only means that you’re more likely to get sick, but it also means that you’re more likely to bring something home to your partner, parents, or kiddos. Infections, colds, illnesses, and even injuries taking longer to heal are all a result of weakened immunity, and stress can be a large contributor to that.

3. For Your Oral Health
Being stressed out can have an impact on your teeth and gums! To start, stress can impact your gut microbiome, which is connected to your mouth. But additionally, stress can cause you to grind your teeth both at night and during the day, which can cause jaw pain and other oral health complications. Releasing your muscles and being mindful of physical manifestations of stress can help keep this at bay, especially if you know yourself to be a grinder.

4. For Your Happiness
While this one might be obvious, it’s always worth the reminder that you deserve to be happy and live a happy life. When you reduce stress, you leave more room for enjoyment and happiness to come into your existence, and that’s something worth making the effort for.

5. For Your Kids
Of course, you already do so much for your kids, and all of that deserves abundant appreciation! But one thing you may want to think about is the example you’re setting when they see you getting stressed out. De-stressing is a great way to lead by example and show your kids that life isn’t stressful. That way, you can all lead calmer, more peaceful lives in your household.

6. For Your Friends
Well, this one might be for you, too, but it certainly involves your friends and loved ones. Those who care about you want to see you happy, which is a given. Therefore, making time for friends and acquaintances that bring you joy can not only work to reduce your stress, but it works the other way around, too. Reducing your stress allows you to be there for your friends and have more fulfilling relationships with those you care about.

7. For Your Mental Wellness
While it’s true that everyone experiences stress, excessive or prolonged stress can cause—or contribute to—conditions like anxiety and depression. If you tend to notice yourself feeling anxious and depressed, or you already struggle with those conditions, keeping your stress in check is especially important.

8. For Your Life Goals
When you’re under daily stress, your long term goals, projects, and ambitions can sometimes feel overwhelming and even no longer worthwhile. By keeping your stress levels in check, you can keep your own goals in mind and do what is best for you no matter what’s going on around you.

9. For Those Aches & Pains
There are a million things in this world that can make you feel achy and creaky, and unfortunately, stress is one of them. Stress can exacerbate neck and back pain, joint pain, muscle soreness, and even headaches and migraines. The body and mind are connected, which means allowing yourself to relax can have a direct impact on how you feel in your body.

Mom stress is the real deal and can take a serious toll, that’s why it’s important to remember your needs and check-in with yourself. Stressing out can have a bigger impact than you may realize on your body, mind, and family. While everyone experiences stress in different ways, excessive stress isn’t good for you and should be avoided, especially if you notice it starting to impact your life negatively. What’s your favorite way to de-stress?

Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine.  A mom of four and matriarch to her big blended family, Kara wants nothing more than to normalize differences in family structures.  She enjoys peeing alone, pancakes, and pinot noir - but not at the same time. 

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4 Need-to-Know Ways to Develop Patient Parenting

By Jake Rubin

Photo: MamaZen

It is no secret that life suddenly starts throwing nothing but fastballs and curveballs when you become a parent. At least that’s how it feels most of the time, and most likely, you feel like you’re swinging at the pitches blindly. As parents, we get to the point where we’re so tired of trying to make one hit that we end up getting frustrated and burnt-out. Unfortunately, this stress ends up showing itself in negative ways, like our interactions with our children. The patient parenting approach strives to adapt the way we respond to our children, and in turn, we end up feeling better.

But, being a patient parent is sometimes easier said than done, like when you discover your toddler playing fashion designer with your new dress and some magic markers. However, with a little focus on these four key areas, you can develop a patient parenting technique that works for you and your kids.

1. Stay Calm 
Before you can be a more patient parent, you need to think about the basics; stay calm and breathe. Our kids have an incredible ability to push our buttons at all the wrong moments, but often, what really gets us worked up is our reaction. Although it’s challenging, focus on your response and try hard to take a breath before you react.

Whether your baby won’t go to bed, or your kid is having a meltdown in aisle three, or your toddler just won’t stop saying the word “why,” ask yourself, is this situation really the end-of-the-world? Is it worth you turning into a wild beast? Start to practice ways to help stay calm when these frustrating situations arise.

2. Relinquish Control
Many times, what tends to add to impatience is a sense that you’re losing control. When something doesn’t go as planned, yet you insist on trying to make it work, you likely end up getting even more aggravated and stressed. But, if you were able to give up the need to be in control and recognize that life will always throw you curveballs, you might be surprised to discover you don’t get as bent out of shape about the issue. Basically, you never know what might happen, so being able to roll with the punches can help you increase your patience in the long run.

3. Develop Empathy
You might already be working on teaching your child about empathy, but have you thought about your own sense of empathy? Sometimes, when you lose your cool with your kids, you might want to launch immediately into a lecture (or tirade), but what if you made the mindful decision to talk with your children instead of yell at them? Ask your child why he did what he did, what he was thinking, and try to see things from his perspective before you start to discuss the situation with him.

4. Practice Self-Care
It’s the absolute hardest thing for all moms to do, but it’s also the most important; take care of yourself. Think about it—if you’re tired, stressed, hungry, exhausted, and miserable, then how on earth can you have any hope of being patient? It’s no wonder you lose it if your kid even thinks about throwing her broccoli at the dog. As challenging as it is, self-care has to be a part of your life. Plus, if it helps, look at it as ultimately doing something for your kids because when you’re happy, they’re happy.

Indeed, patient and parenting are not often words you find in the same sentence when you’re a parent, but with a little focus and help from a resource like MamaZen, you can make patient parenting a way of life.

 

This post originally appeared on MamaZen.

Jake Y. Rubin, M.A, is a Board Certified Hypnotherapist, a former university professor of psychology, and a recognized expert in hypnosis and hypnotherapy with degrees in Psychology from UCLA and the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University. He is the founder of the MamaZen app.

 

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Cloth or Disposable Diapers: Which One Is Better?

By Monica Greco

I love cloth diapers. I have used them successfully with my two daughters for almost four years now, and never looked back. However, I don’t use cloth diapers exclusively: I often mix them with disposable diapers.

Now, don’t tell that to people on a Facebook group on cloth diapers. They’ll probably kick me off the group!

I find it strange how some parents that use cloth diapers are so incredibly against using disposables. And also a bit annoying. I feel like it puts so much unnecessary pressure on new moms that want to give it a go.

Cloth diapers can be great in so many ways, but they also come with their disadvantages. There are situations where I find using disposable is way more convenient and less stressful.

Here’s what I think all the pros and cons of cloth diapers compared to disposables are, and why I think using a combination of both is sometimes the best thing to do.

ENVIRONMENT & FINANCES

Let’s start with the two most well-known advantages of cloth diapers: they help reduce waste and save parents some money.

I won’t argue with the fact that they are good for the environment. This is the main reason I use them as much as I can. I love seeing how empty my rubbish bin is at the end of the week, without hundreds of disposable diapers in it.

But I will make a point of saying that cloth diapers are not always that cheap compared to disposables. Some cloth diaper types can be pretty expensive!. Plus, I find you have to be very careful about what to buy at the beginning. Some moms just buy them in bulk without any knowledge about what will work for them or for their baby, to then realize that they bought the totally wrong type and need to replace their stash. I made this exact mistake with my first daughter.

TRAVELING

Disposable diapers are so much easier when traveling: they take up less space in the diaper bag and can just be disposed of in a bin. Cloth diapers, on the other hand, are bulkier and you need to take a waterproof bag with you all the time to store all the dirty diapers.

I find they are okay when going out for a few hours. I can deal with taking one or two changes of cloth diapers with me. But, if I am going away for the weekend or for longer periods, there’s no way I am going to take cloth diapers with me!

Too much to pack, too much to think about with regards to where to store them, how to wash and dry them, etc.

NEWBORN STAGES

Mama, the first few months with a newborn are tough! Particularly if it’s your first baby. So many things to figure out already. Do you really want the added stress of figuring out how to use cloth diapers?

With my first baby, I waited until she was about two months old and ready to fit in one-size diapers before I started using them.

Don’t get me wrong, some super moms get it right with cloth diapers from day one. You will find them all on the Facebook groups! But if you get a bit overwhelmed even at the idea, I suggest you wait a little bit longer before giving it a go.

DIAPER BLOWOUTS

Now, have you ever experienced a diaper blowout? You know, when the poop ends up all over baby’s clothes and you need to hose them down to get it off them? Yes, they are real and are not that fun to deal with!

They seem to be particularly bad when your baby is small and breastfeeding…like a big explosion. We call it a poonami at home!

Well, you’ll be surprised to hear that cloth diapers are usually better than disposables at dealing with them, and one of the tips to prevent diaper blowouts is actually to use a reusable cover over a disposable diaper.

Cloth diaper covers tend to have elastics all the way around the baby’s legs and back (and sometimes the front too), and these are more effective than disposable diapers at holding the solid waste in.

So, if you are afraid of having to deal with poonamis, then cloth diapers (particularly covers) can come in quite handy. Though be mindful that having to clean poop off cloth diapers can be a bit more complicated than just disposing of a dirty disposable diaper.

LEAKS & SMELL

I think diapers leaking is the number one concern for moms using cloth diapers. And I get why: understanding cloth diapers with their different types and materials takes time, and it requires a lot of trial and error.

There is a lot of information, including online, that can put you in the right direction of course. But I bet every mom who’s been using cloth had to try at least a few different diapers before finding the perfect fit that doesn’t leak.

Cloth diapers at night can be particularly challenging because it’s not easy to find diapers that will last 12 hours or more through the night. And, if you do, those cloth diapers stink!

There have been nights when my second daughter was sleeping in bed with me and the smell of urine coming from the diaper in the morning was almost unbearable.

So, if you want to switch to disposables at night, I totally get that!

In conclusion, both cloth diapers and disposables have their pros and cons, and it doesn’t always have to be all or nothing with cloth diapers! There are so many situations when disposables are way more convenient, and no mom should be feeling guilty about using a mix of both.

So, stop comparing yourself to some random supermom on social media and stop stressing about using some disposable diapers sometimes. Motherhood is already hard as it is, this is definitely something you should not be worrying about!

Monica is the proud mom of two beautiful girls and author of the blog Conquering Motherhood. Here she shares tips, suggestions and recommendations on how to have the best pregnancy and birth experience, as well as how to survive the first year of motherhood.

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This New Show From Apple TV+ Teaches Kids (And Parents!) About Mindfulness

by Kenzie Kramer
Partner Content
In partnership with AppleTV+

We could all use some zen right now, our kids included. Give them the mindfulness moment they didn’t know they needed, with the help of lovable panda bear Stillwater! This animated series exclusively on Apple TV+ is about the beautiful friendship formed between siblings Karl, Addy, Michael, and their next-door neighbor, a wise panda named Stillwater. 

Based on the popular Zen Shorts book by Jon J Muth, Stillwater acts as a “Zen Yoda” for the kids, giving them the tools they need to face challenges in their daily lives. Through his stories and gentle humor, Stillwater gives the kids a deeper understanding of their emotions, and the tools that help them face their day-to-day challenges. 

Read on to learn how this thought-provoking show will bestow you and your kids, ages 3-7, with tools that encourage mindfulness in your everyday lives—less stress and more joy!

Mindfulness Matters

You may know what mindfulness means, or like us, you assumed it meant your mind is full (pretty hard to avoid that these days). The good news is you don't need to be the Dalai Lama to bring a more mindful approach to your life—even a kid can do it! 

Mindfulness:

    • Brings a deeper understanding of our emotions
    • Enables us to let go of taking things for granted
    • Helps keep us present and in the moment
    • Is the self-regulation of attention with an attitude of curiosity, openness, and acceptance

Stillwater is geared towards helping kids deal with real feelings in a non-judgmental way. Not only that, the well-thought-out, multilayered characters and storylines are engaging and fun. Bonus: Apple worked with mindfulness expert Mallika Chopra and other educational consultants in developing this series to ensure the techniques and themes presented were appropriate and effective for young viewers. 

The main character isn't the only thing that's zen. The pace of the show is calm, quiet and intentional (adiós, overstimulation!) and has relaxing music from Kishi Bashi and Toby Chu.

Stillwater Is the Ideal Mindfulness Model for Kids

What makes this animated panda so great at this crucial life skill? He's silly, he's playful, he always has something to do or practice but is never busy. He doesn't judge or take himself too seriously. Oh, and he meditates, does yoga and is a sympathetic listener. Before you ask yourself, "Is he single?" remember this is a panda we are talking about (but we get it).

 

Stillwater is comforting to kids as he models emotional self-awareness and strategies for being present that small humans can understand and make their own. One of the best things about him: he doesn't give answers; he helps kids discover the solution all on their own, which is a building block for a lifetime of happiness.

Namaste, Stillwater!

 

Watch Stillwater on the Apple TV app. Find the Apple TV app everywhere, from Apple devices to smart TVs, or watch online at tv.apple.com.*

 

*Subscription required for Apple TV+

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For Children, Wearing a Mask Is an Emotional Challenge

By Gay Cioffi

With the election (hopefully) behind us, we are returning to the subject of COVID-19 and its consequences for all of us, especially children. We have reflected on the “silver linings” of corona time, the challenges of social distancing, and the stress and anxiety of staying safe. Now, let’s talk about the emotional toll of mask-wearing.

Once my local area reduced its daily infection rate to below 1%, I cautiously returned to doing my own grocery shopping and various other errands in the community. While I was heartened to see total adherence to the medical experts’ recommendation for masking, I felt immediately that without access to facial expressions, some feelings of social isolation continued. I’m happy to report that over time, we have all gotten better at making eye-contact and connecting while wearing a mask.

I was inspired by my granddaughter’s teachers at the Creative Steps Early Childhood Center and their efforts to support young children in staying emotionally connected while wearing masks. In a recent newsletter, they outlined the activities they have designed and implemented to help pre-kindergarten age children read facial cues and body language.

From “emotional charades” to reading books about feelings, the class had an opportunity to discuss and name emotions. They had lots of opportunities to share their experiences with different feelings as well. The children were photographed after choosing – then acting out a sentiment from a “Feeling Jar.” These pics became the basis for a “Mood Wall,” which has remained a popular catalyst for discussion in their classroom.

As parents, grandparents, and caregivers, we can be mindful of the social and emotional challenges that mask-wearing present. Letting kids know that we recognize the difficulties and providing practice with some tools to meet those challenges will go a long way in supporting their social and emotional development and health. We can emphasize that using words and listening to the words of others are an important part of communication. But, there are other ways to communicate as well; paying attention to a person’s eyes, hands, and body language is helpful in providing clues to how they are feeling.

Here are four things that you can do to support the healthy social and emotional development of young children during the pandemic.

  1. Acknowledge that it is hard to express one’s feelings or to understand the feelings of others when we are all wearings masks.

  2. Identify ways to express emotions, such as using words, and using our bodies. Illustrate how gestures, such as making a heart sign, stomping our feet, shaking our arms in a cheer, or other body languages can express a feeling. Point out that even while wearing a mask, our eyes can communicate a smile or other emotions.

  3. Use children’s books to identify and anticipate their feelings. In most stories, there is a point where we can ask children how they think the character is feeling.

  4. Play guessing games while wearing masks, like “Feelings Charades”.

Please let us know how you are you dealing with social and emotional connections while masking, we all have so much to learn from each other.

I am a parent and grandparent with over four decades of experience in early childhood education. I share my passion, wisdom and experience, with parents and the people who care for and about children at Little Folks Big Questions, where we're out to answer the questions parents face in today's world.

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Is Your Kid Regressing? Here’s What You Can Do About It

By Meghan Fitzgerald

Photo: Tinkergarten

When the parenting headlines match what’s happening in our own homes, we know something’s afoot. And from Tinkergarten team members’ stories to the New York Times, one theme emerged: regression.

Why are our kids regressing, how can we muster the patience to help them through, and, worse yet, will these setbacks persist on the other side of this? I’ve read a handful of articles aimed to support on this front, and they have helped. But, it wasn’t until the other night when I was talking to treasured colleagues on Zoom that something fundamental clicked for me: We are all on a roller coaster, and our kids are strapped in with us.

A metaphor goes a long way.

In teaching both kids and parents, a simple metaphor can help make tricky concepts click—and this idea of a roller coaster has done that for me. Some of us can’t stand roller coasters. I love them, but only the ones I choose to get on and the ones that, I can tell, come to a clear end. COVID-19 fits neither of those criteria, and it is quite an intense ride.

I have kept so busy trying to do all of the quarantine parent/worker/person things, that I had not really stopped to recognize the intense emotional side of COVID-19 life—to see plainly what me, my kids and those I love are experiencing.

If we are feeling it, they are really feeling it.

Hearing and really recognizing that we have every reason to feel like a wreck can go a long way. And if I am a mess with an adult brain that is capable of rationalizing and regulating my emotions, then how can I possibly expect more of my child, who is not yet able to do either of those things? When kids are overwhelmed emotionally, they show a range of responses—from clinging to us more to acting out, tantruming or struggling with siblings. Just knowing that all of those reactions are totally normal and to be expected during a time like this can help.

Kids regress, especially during times of stress.

If you are worried at all about setbacks in your child’s behavior, check out NYTimes Parenting’s recent “Why is My Big Kid Acting Like a Toddler.” It reminds us that regression, the return to earlier stages of development, is actually a mechanism that kids use to protect themselves from the impact of strong emotions. It might not make the fifth tantrum of the day delightful to endure or make it easy for you to find space from a clingy kiddo who used to leave you alone. But knowing that regression is not only natural but also emotionally beneficial for our kiddos lessens both the worry and our struggle to prevent it—and that struggle was making my “tired” even bigger and bolder at the end of the day.

There are a few ways to smooth out the ride.

How can we smooth things out so the highs and lows are not so extreme?

“Thoughts come and go. Feelings come and go. Find out what it is that remains.” —Ramana Marhashi

Breathe deeply. When you are in a rough moment, alone or with your kids, give it some time. Repeat a mantra like, “This too shall pass.” Then, remember to notice how it really does. Even if it takes until your kiddo is fast asleep, see that kids do become sweet again—these moments come, and they go.

Get outside and move! When tough moments hit, step outside or just open a window and take in some fresh air. Natural settings reduce stress, and the switch of scenery and sensory input can help kids and grown-ups to calm and regulate our emotions. At the very least, it can redirect their attention a bit to help the moment pass. We end every day with a walk outside—and there have been some days in which the kids and I, quite literally, are all crying by 5:30 p.m. By the end of our walk, we are back, tired and worn, but ready for dinner and some sweet cuddling.

Cuddle or soothe. Do this in a way that works for your child. Attention, reassurance, and reminders that we are right here for them is what kids need most right now. And, one of the silver linings in all of this is that, for most of us, we are right there—all the time. Experts know that physical touch can enhance brain development and help regulate kids’ nervous systems. In other words, it’s exactly what they might need to break free of a negative cycle. If your child seeks and readily receives physical affection, give loads of extra hugs, squeezes, and touches. If kids will accept a hug when they are off the rails, hold and squeeze them through it. Or, wait until later and cuddle again before the day is through. Even add in extra squeezes as you move through the day.

Mindful “you time.” It is really, really hard to get time for ourselves in the middle of all of this, and you need moments of solo, meditative time to repair. So, even if it is just 10 daily minutes of meditation in bed before kids wake up, a 7-minute workout while they watch a show, or just taking a few moments in the bathroom for yourself, build it in and savor it.

This is a lot, it’s hard, and it’s extraordinary. I’ve realized that so much of the regression that kids and I are feeling is a reflection of this incredible situation. Humans are not meant to be or feel isolated. We contemplate the present and future and need to understand where we are going and have hope for better times. We are experiencing loss and anxiety. Our dreams are even impacted. This is real and big. But, this too shall pass. For now, we need to do whatever we and our kids need to get through until it’s finally time to get off this ride and stand on solid ground again.

This post originally appeared on Tinkergarten.

After 18 years as an educator, curriculum developer and school leader, Meghan has her dream gig—an entrepreneur/educator/mom who helps families everywhere, including hers, learn outside. Today, Meghan serves as co-founder and Chief Learning Officer of Tinkergarten, the national leader in outdoor play-based learning. 

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My Kids Are Going Back to School & This Is How I’m Coping

By Nataly Blumberg

On the outside, I appear to be calm about my kids going back to school. They attend a public school that is well funded and has engaged parents. Last week there was a Zoom call with over 300 participants and the general consensus among the parents is that mandatory masks, new ventilation systems, hundreds of new sanitizing stations, and 45-pages worth of initiatives cover as much as can be expected to keep students, teachers and everyone that works in the school safe.

But I still find myself waking up in the middle of the night from anxiety. I keep thinking that tomorrow night will be different, but it’s not. Part of feeling better is knowing that there are so many others feeling the exact same way. I decided that I would do a bit of research and find actions that I could take to help with the stress. Sometimes it’s about finding what works best for us as an individual, and you can only decide when you’ve read, talked, and done your research.

Nanika Coor, Psy.D. is a Brooklyn, NY based clinical psychologist who specializes in working with parents, recommends being mindful in four key areas.  I took her advice to heart and thought about specific things that I could do to ease my back-to-school anxieties.

1. BREATHE. Her first piece of advice when you are feeling stressed is to, “Stop & breathe: Stop whatever you’re doing. Pause. Take a breath. Make your exhale last as long as you can.” At first, I found this somewhat comical and basic, but the truth is it really helps. Don’t laugh, but the smell of Soap & Glory Uplifting bath products while taking a deep breath in the shower makes me happy and sets a positive vibe for the morning. I feel like I’ve rewarded myself just for being positive and making an effort to be in a good mood.

2. BE AWARE. “Check-in: Focus your awareness on your internal experience: What emotions, body sensations, and thoughts are you experiencing right at this moment? Notice with curiosity rather than self-judgment. Let whatever’s there just be there,” says Coor. The part that resonated with me is about self-judgment. So many times, moms feel that they should have it all together at home and at work and it’s the pressure, more than the activities, that make things hard. I’ve also decided to ask for help and ordered Freshly meals. I spend less time worrying and cooking, more time with my kids and husband, and therefore I feel like I did a better job. That’s the recipe for a start to less self-judgment.

3. LOOK WITH A POSITIVE LENS. Coor also recommends that parents, “Zoom out with a positive lens: Assume positive intent. What if you assumed that both you and your child are trying to get your needs met in the best way that you know how at this moment, however unproductively. Call up some compassion for you both.”  My kids want more attention and I have laundry to fold. Plus, conference calls and soon homework. We both need time and that’s why I’ve incentivized them to help with more chores. By doing things together they can feel that I am happier and calmer, and we get to crack jokes while we work. One extremely important lesson and I cannot emphasize this enough, is you cannot criticize the way they help. Just don’t do it. If they are doing it with willingness, tell them how it makes you feel. Think about the emotion and not how clean or well-folded something is done. Remember, you’re looking with a positive lens and it’s one step at a time.

4. RESPOND FIRST, THEN REACT. Coor’s last piece of advice is to “Choose the least harmful response you can: Respond rather than react. What can you do right now that brings the least amount of harm to your child’s body, mind, heart, spirit, and self-esteem?” There are a few ways that I’ve tried to implement this in my life.  First, if I feel like I’m really going to lose it, I leave the room and say that I’m coming back when I calm down. This actually is much more effective than screaming at the top of my lungs while something is happening because my kids know it’s serious and they have time to realize what just happened.

The other way I’ve used this advice is by taking something away that demonstrated that I was doing something extra because I care, not because I had to.  As an example, for a while, my kids would not stop bickering. Day in and day out it was misery. I screamed, I pleaded, and I cried. Nothing helped. Then I decided to tell them that if they continue one more time, they would have to get to school on their own. My reasoning was that I had to take time out of my day to fight the traffic and the school bus lines so that my kids would have door-to-door service. It was something that I did for them because I cared. Not because I had to. The fighting continued, I stopped driving, they took the bus, and the fighting ended. They got the point.

To me, it doesn’t matter that things have changed in terms of COVID-19. Things changed because the response was more meaningful than harmful.  Parents do things every single day that show love and care, and at a certain point, kids are able to understand that this is a shared activity.

5. GET HELP. If things seem really difficult and you are struggling, get help. It’s the most important thing that you can do for yourself and your family.  Almost everyone is having a hard time and you are not alone. Parents Anonymous is a family strengthening organization and has added resources to help during the pandemic.

This is my place to start and it might change in the weeks ahead. But, I’m already starting to feel calmer.

I'm a mom of two children, wife, and love my fur baby, traveling and playing UNO.  My passion is discovering services and products by entrepreneurs, especially those that can cut down on some screen time and help our family create lasting memories together. 

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Set up for School Success With These Kid-Approved Home Learning Ideas

By Adele Beiny

Photo: Adele Beiny via Life’s Looking Good

For many kids across the country (including mine), their school season won’t be business as usual. Some students might be thrilled, while some may be extremely bummed out and really miss normal life. I think we can all agree though, that no matter what, it’s a lot of change for our little guys.

One way we can help ease their transition into home learning is to create an environment that feels special and warm for them. One that is designated for their school work but full of creative and unique self-expression.

I’ve compiled a few ideas and items that parents may find helpful when setting up their new learning spaces this fall.

1. Organize it. I always start with organization, because a clean and de-cluttered area fosters a clean mind. Just like adults, children find it hard to think in chaos. Their surface or desktop spaces should be as clear as possible. I love to use makeup caddies as school supply holders. They can house markers, pencils, highlighters, scissors, and rulers. They can also be kept out for easy access while still maintaining a tidy feel. These can be found with a handle, drawers, or be turn-st‌yle like a lazy Suzan. I love these as they provide easy access for little hands.

Another way to store their necessary art supplies and workbooks can be with woven baskets, collapsible cubes, or clear Lucite bins. Depending on your child’s st‌yle and age, they double as room decor too!

Rolling carts are a great option to keep surface areas clean while having supplies, books, and crafts handy and nearby. They also come in really cute colors or can be spray painted to your child’s favorite color! Another bonus is they can move easily from room to room if your child’s learning does too.

2. Personalize it. Let their personalities shine! Use their favorite colors, characters or sports heroes and find some wall decals in that theme to put up near their learning area.

You can also gather several fun photo memories from the summer, print them online, and have them hung in a fun way. Let them choose the photos and how they want to hang them. You can change them seasonally too, as weather changes and as you capture new moments for them like their classroom bulletin board.

A personalized water bottle can be set nearby so they don’t need to leave during calls. The more things reflect them, the more they’ll like being in the space designated for them. Ideally, each kid has their own space to learn, but if they don’t, labeling or having some of their organizational supplies personalized can give them some pride of ownership. If it clearly belongs to them, they may take more care to be mindful of their space and things.

I feel passionate that just because school isn’t in session, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have a cute backpack and fun accessories. Your child may need to tote school items and their tablet or laptop to another co-parent’s home, a neighbor, or a tutor. So let them choose a fun backpack to have. Add a cool keychain on it. Colorful or interesting folders will still be appreciated. Let them be a part of the choosing process for school supplies, much like if it were non-COVID times.

3. Offer (small) distractions. Lastly, incorporate items that may be needed to help with distraction. A fun but comfortable headphone set to block out household noise while on calls for example and for kids who have trouble concentrating keeping handy, put some thinking putty, stress balls, or rubber bands across the bottom of their chair to bounce their feet on.

All of these thoughtful preparations will also start positively reinforcing that summer is winding down and a new season is starting. You can talk to them through the process of how they feel about the changes. Ask them what items (within reason) they think will make this transition easier?

Taking the time to order the supplies and cultivate a designated and child-specific learning zone will show them that although schooling will look different this year, it matters greatly.

Good luck this year and happy at-home learning.

Hi! I’m Adele - not the singer. I am the proud mother of two amazing humans, Jacob and Lyla. I find beauty in the simplicity of the world around me. I love bringing humans together with good food and creating a mood that fosters meaningful connection.

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