ML Interest Tag: regard

Dating.com Releases a Guide for Single Parents Looking to Find a Partner

by Jennifer Swartvagher

Dating can be a fun and exhilarating experience. Dating when you have children can make things a little bit more complicated. Dating.com conducted a study of members who reported to be single parents and uncovered why they were hesitant about beginning to date again.

Couple in restaurant

Among the parents surveyed, the biggest impediment to dating again were concerns over how their kids will react. 68% of parents do not reveal they have children on their dating profiles. Some parents are reluctant due to their uncertainty entering the dating scene again. It may have been years since they have been out on a date, so they simply don’t know what to expect.

Dating.com offered some tips to make the transition into the dating world less intimidating.

1. Make sure you are feeling your best. Being absent from the dating scene for an extended period of time might have you feeling out of touch, insignificant or flat out old. Nothing is sexier than confidence, so make sure you take the time to refresh your wardrobe, practice yoga or workout, take new pictures for your online dating profiles and do whatever it takes to boost your self-esteem.

2. Get online. See what the internet has to offer. There are lots of different platforms that cater to different preferences, find what interests you and create a profile.

3. Take things slow. Jumping straight back into dating after a long break may be weird at first. Test the waters by starting conversations with multiple people. Once you feel you have gotten back into the swing of things, you can take the next step and meet for coffee or dinner.

4. Talk to your kids and friends. Talking to your kids and friends or younger friends you feel comfortable talking to about dating, get their input. You’ll be surprised what kind of advice they have to give. You may notice that dating culture today is much more different than what you’re used to and these loved ones can be great resources and confidence boosters.

Once you finally connect with someone that you can see having a long-term relationship with, it will come time to introduce your kids to your new partner. Have a conversation ahead of time and be honest with your children regarding your relationship status. Gauge their reaction so you can avoid any surprises when they finally meet.

Keep the first ineteartion between your new partner and your children low-key and short. It is usually recommended to have the meeting take place at a location your kids enjoy, like a restaurant or ice cream parlor. Most importantly, don’t rush the relationship. Give your kids time to develop a bond with your new partner on their own.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Christin Hume on Unsplash

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Kristen Bell’s Secret to Teaching Her Daughters Gratitude

by Jennifer Swartvagher

Kristen Bell may play a princess on the silver screen, but that doesn’t mean she’s raising her kids to be treated like royalty IRL. Recently, at a Winter Wonderland event run by Tiny Prints and Baby2Baby, Kristen Bell offered her time to give back to the community. Baby2Baby is a nonprofit organization that provides basic essentials to children living in poverty. During the event, Bell made cupcakes, played with real snow and had a few games of foosball with a group of second graders. While there, she spoke about how she taught her daughters gratitude during the holiday season. 

“Just don’t overdo it [during the holidays], and don’t overspend,” Bell said. “It’s pretty simple. It’s exciting to buy presents for your kids, but the thing I make sure we do in our family is open gifts one at a time, starting youngest to oldest. We open all of our presents, so it’s not chaotic. My 4-year-old [Delta] starts, and she’ll open each one of her gifts. We all watch! It takes a little bit of the chaos out of Christmas morning because she knows that when she opens something, she is to look at the person who bought it for her and say thank you.”

Bell also tries to teach her girls that giving is more important than receiving. She said, “I take each of my kids to the store at separate times on a special day date to pick out a gift for their family members,” she explained. “I want them to feel ownership over what they’re getting. It can be anything. Get something for your sister, pick something out to make something for your dad.” When they get back home, Bell makes her daughters responsible for wrapping their presents. 

If you would like to donate to Baby2Baby, they are accepting money or gently used items. Check out their website for the full guidelines regarding donations. After the event, the children Bell visited with went home with a bag of essentials, such as a new coat, shoes, and a few toys or games. “It’s an honor to serve these kids!” Bell said. “It feels good. There’s no other reason than that. You get to meet new people, new kids. It’s just wonderful.”

 

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured image: Kristen Bell via Instagram

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Non-Traditional Baby Making: 6 Potential Obstacles To Bear In Mind

By Dr Bethany Cook

When one imagines starting a family, it’s usually an intimate moment experienced by two people in love. However, for me and most other same-sex couples who want to have children (and even some hetero couples that are struggling), the experience is far less romantic and much more stressful. Starting a family is often the beginning of a long, emotional, and usually expensive endeavor.

Here are some potential obstacles for those who are embarking on a journey of non-traditional baby-making.

1. Learn to ignore outside opinions such as “Why can’t you guys just adopt?”  

The number of times people would say this statement to myself or partner when we discussed starting a family was…let’s just say 10 times too many. I’m adopted. I know it’s an option. Everyone will have their own personal reasons for wanting to create a baby. If someone says this to you just say “Thanks, I know.” If you feel comfortable or want to educate this person on why you want a biological child, share on. If you want to shut the conversation down add the words “I’ll let you know if I need anything.”

2. Finding resources and considering legal rights.

No matter how you do the math, two individuals of the same sex are currently unable to have a child that would contain 50% of the genes of both parents. As a result, couples need to seek out an egg donor, sperm donor and/or a surrogate to carry the baby. Each couple will have names for individuals whose DNA helped create or carry their baby. For instance, we say “donor dad” when referencing our children’s biological father. The “donor dad” can be friends or anonymous donors from online banks. Some of these online donors are “open donors” meaning when your child is 18 years old if your son/daughter wishes to lookup their biological “other,” they can.

As for the legal stuff, I suggest finding a lawyer (many offices provide free counseling to those who qualify). We chose to use an online donor who had already given up any legal rights to our children. Each state has slightly different laws regarding same-sex couples so do your due diligence and double-check. In my situation, my partner needed to adopt the children ASAP. If I had become incapacitated for any reason my partner would not have had any legal rights to our children (even though her name is on their birth certificates) and they could have been put into foster care. Yes, our system of government regarding the rights of non-traditional families needs to catch up.

3. IVF and IUI are expensive. 

Even with a top-of-the-line health insurance policy, getting pregnant via IVF/IUI is expensive. I just checked an online sperm bank and a single vial of sperm can cost up to $920! When I went the IUI path nearly 7 years ago it was routine to use two vials per attempt. Eggs and surrogates cost much more than sperm, then add into the mix all the additional medical visits for blood draws, ultrasounds, etc. You can see how the price can quickly skyrocket and require extra time away from work.

4. IVF/IUI medical visits add additional stress to your life and work balance.

Luckily I had an understanding boss and my work schedule was fairly flexible when I started the process of getting pregnant in a non-traditional fashion. For a female, it involves more visits and more hormones than for men. Not only did I take multiple pills a day, but I was also required to keep a detailed record of shots I injected on certain days around my navel during each IVF cycle. Thinking about how you will balance all of this before you start the process is a good idea. I’m definitely not trying to deter anyone! I just want to offer an eyes-wide-open realistic view.

5. Judgement.

When you’re trying to get pregnant in a non-traditional fashion it’s almost impossible to hide anything from the medical staff helping you. Since my partner and I live in a big city (Chicago) most of the staff we encountered were supportive of our efforts, and if they weren’t, I didn’t hear about it or sense it. Couples in small towns don’t always have access to LGBTQ friendly facilities. That adds a whole new level of stress to the process. Sometimes family isn’t supportive and that hurts too.

6. What’s Wrong With Me?

At some point or another, especially if you’re in a non-traditional relationship, you’ve asked yourself this question, I know I have. Like when I only had 10 good eggs to harvest during my first IVF egg retrieval (I had read reports of some women having 20+ eggs). Sometimes, when couples begin this process they discover that their bodies were just not designed to procreate even with medical intervention.  Finding out you’re unable to create a child can be a serious blow to one’s identity. Don’t beat yourself up. Focus your energy on accepting yourself unconditionally and shift lanes.

Getting pregnant with the help of medical intervention makes things less romantic, more sterile, and more stressful and expensive. It’s important to speak up for yourself and your needs. Make sure you do as much research as you can. Know you are not the only person doing this and you’re not alone. Find others in your community you can lean on for support and keep stress to a minimum.

Last but not least: try to have some fun. If it doesn’t work out for you I’m truly sorry. My partner and I were fine with adoption if we had found out I wasn’t physically able to create children. Luck, timing, and medicine were on our side. We have two healthy kids 19 months apart whom we love and cherish more than anything. It’s not easy, but it was worth it.

This post originally appeared on Mable and Moxie.

I am a 42-year-old biological mother of two young children in a same-sex relationship, a clinical psychologist with a specialty in neuropsychological assessment, a music therapist, a trainer of therapy dogs and ex-communicated Mormon from Indiana with a wicked sense of humor. 

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Questions to Ask Yourself before Filing for Divorce

By Jacqueline Newman

The idea of not being married to your soon-to-be-ex may seem really appealing right now. No more nagging, escaping the never-ending criticism, and finally being able to live on your own terms again. You can now parent the way you want to parent without being criticized for the fact that your daughter’s pigtails are not exactly parallel. This all sounds wonderful and so freeing. Right?  

You might think that only a few things, in reality, would change. There might already be no family time—and lately, the two of you have been sleeping in separate rooms anyway. While there may be moments in your current married life that are less than blissful, the reality is you have a partner, even if you feel as if that partnership is not as wonderful or equal as it used to be. Therefore, before you make an appointment with a divorce lawyer, I urge you to step through the sliding glass doors and truly envision what your life is going to look like when you are on your own but still responsible for all you created while you were married.  

An Alternate Universe
Now you are standing on the outside, and you are looking in. Every time you are with your children now, you are on your own, or you are still dependent on someone helping you out? But now you are not only funding your own (and maybe your ex’s) lifestyle; you are also paying for a nanny or a babysitter. Your life is extra complicated, and are literally tasked with dealing with all the drama while still trying to get your presentation ready for work. The idyllic single life this is not. You will be the sole runner in a race that feels like an ultra-marathon most days.   

What Is Harder, Marriage or Divorce?
This is truly the loaded question. Trusting your instincts is necessary. If there are any feelings or reasons why you might decide that divorce is not the best option, then you need to listen. This is your gut telling you what to do. As you start to figure out which way to go at this fork in the road, I want you to think about factors that are bigger than you alone.

• How are your children going to deal with this major life change?  • How will you manage without the support of the person who has been there with you—through good times, as well as bad?  • What are your true feelings about being single? • Is your divorce going to change your career trajectory or your ability to make (and keep) money? What do your finances look like, and how will this potentially change if you are supporting two households? • What lifestyle changes could occur? • Do you anticipate a big fight with your spouse over assets and property? • And seriously, how is your mental and physical health (because they will be impacted as well)?  You absolutely must answer these questions honestly and examine your feelings regarding your truthful responses to such queries before you go home and tell your spouse, “I want a divorce.”  

Some Tough Questions to Ponder
Here are some questions you should also think about as you look to make an educated and rational decision regarding divorce: • Have you tried to speak with your spouse about your feelings? Have you had an honest heart-to-heart about the issues you are facing as a couple? If so, what was the outcome? • Have you tried marriage counseling? • Have the two of you tried to identify and isolate the problems inside your relationship? • Do you have the ability to openly communicate with each other without nagging, arguing, or even talking over the other one? • Are you willing to compromise?   Think about these lines of thought: • Are you going to miss your kids if you do not see them every day? • Do you feel confident that during your parenting time you could be the sole parent caring for your children’s daily needs? This affects not only your life but your children’s lives as well, so answer honestly. • How are your kids going to handle being shuttled between two households with different parenting schedules and styles? • What lifestyle changes are you willing to make?   

Keep in mind paying for two households is much more expensive than one. Getting divorced is costly. If your situation is financially challenged right now, expect to tighten your belt even more. To summarize, weighing all possible options is imperative when considering divorce. And you must do this before you decide to pull the trigger and tell your spouse.

Jacqueline Newman is a divorce lawyer and matrimonial law expert. As managing partner of a top-tier 5th Avenue Manhattan law firm focused exclusively on divorce, her practice runs the gamut from prenups for high net worth people contemplating marriage to high conflict matrimonial litigation in dissolutions. 

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These Are the Best Grocery Stores in the Country, According to Consumer Reports

by Shahrzad Warkentin

When you’re fueling up your family or shopping with kids in tow, where you shop can make all the difference. Consumer Reports‘ latest data ranks the best grocery stores in the nation.

Published in the April issue of Consumer Reports, the grocery store lists rankings for 96 retailers across the United States and among the top 10? Fan-favorite Trader Joe’s and Costco.

photo: Markus Spiske via Unsplash

The report was based on responses from over 75,000 people. Consumer Reports’ survey asked questions regarding cleanliness, price, food quality and variety, checkout speed and staff helpfulness, selection of healthy options and locally produced foods.

The majority of the other top spots went to regional retailers, with the number one rank going to Texas-based grocer Central Market. The second place spot went to Wegmans, which serves the mid-Atlantic and New England regions, and third place was Heinen’s, which is located in northeast Ohio and Chicago.

The only national chains to break the top ten were Trader Joe’s coming in at fifth and Costco at 10th place. Other popular national chains topping the list were Publix at 11th, Sprouts at 20th and Aldi at 23rd. Even with the recent Amazon takeover, Whole Foods came in at 54th.

Now, about that Two-Buck Chuck…

—Shahrzad Warkentin

 

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This Hotel Service Is Genius for Traveling Families

by Karly Wood

Traveling with kids just got a whole lot easier! It’s no secret that managing time changes and nap schedules can be a bear when it comes to family vacations, but now you can book a day use hotel to give everyone the break they need.

Hotels By Day is a booking service that is just what parents need: hotel rooms you can book for a block of hours at cheaper rates so the family can have a place to relax during a layover, nap, nurse or pump in private. So how does it work?

photo: Pixabay via Pexels

The service offers a variety of time frames for booking, with most options from three to twelve hours. Day use rooms are available for early morning check-in and late-afternoon, or early evening, check-out, such as 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Because you are not booking an overnight stay, guests can check in anytime during the allocated block of time, up to the last hour. Usually, there is a two adult maximum and you’ll want to check with the hotel regarding the number of kids.

As a day use guest, most likely you’ll get whatever room that is vacant but you are able to request specific rooms on the Hotels By Day website if the hotel has the option. You’re also more than welcome to make specific requests upon check-in.

Not planning a trip away anytime soon? Hotels By Day makes your staycation a little fancier! Head to the city for a change of scenery, use the pool or dine at a hotel restaurant. If you’re a busy mama, we’d imagine this would be just the break you need.

 

––Karly Wood

 

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Recall Alert: All Models of Fisher-Price Rock ‘N Play Sleepers

by Karly Wood

On Fri., April 12, Fisher-Price issued an official recall on approximately 4 million Rock ‘N Play Sleepers as a result of 30 infant deaths since 2015, attributed to the use of these products. The recall came a week after a joint statement between the company and the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission which issued a safety warning on Apr. 5, advising parents of the potential for injury or death with older infants.

The CPSC and Fisher-Price is recommending parents to stop using all models of the product and contact the company for a refund. Read on for a full explanation of why the company has issued a warning and a subsequent recall.

photo: Courtesy of CPSC

According to the CPSC, 30 infants who were three months or older have died while using Fisher-Price Rock ‘N Play products since 2015 as a result of rolling “from their back to their stomach or side” while unconstrained. Fisher-Price did not immediately respond to Red Tricycle’s request for comment, but the manufacturer does have a comprehensive website addressing the current safety warning about its Rock N’ Play products.

 

If you have questions or concerns regarding this product recall, Fisher-Price encourages consumers to call toll-free at 866-812-6518 from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. ET Monday through Friday for more information.

—Karly Wood

 

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FDA Issues Safety Warning: Asbestos Found in Claire’s Makeup

by Karly Wood

The U.S. Food & Drug Administration issued a warning regarding asbestos in certain Claire’s products after test results demonstrated the presence of the fibers in several makeup palettes. Asbestos is dangerous when particles or fibers enter the lungs or stomach and can lead to lung damage and cancer.

The items affected by the warning are Claire’s Eye Shadows, Compact Powder and Contour Palette and currently, are not being sold in stores. The FDA issued the warning to alert consumers to check their home for previously purchased items and to cease using the products immediately.

photo: Mike Mozart via Flickr

The FDA released the warning several years after Claire’s pulled nine makeup products from their shelves back in 2017. The statement comes after the organization tested several of those pulled items and found tremolite asbestos.

Claire’s has been in contact with the FDA and actually disputes the findings, stating that the methods used to classify the fibers as asbestos are incorrect. Representatives from Claire’s sent Red Tricycle the following statement via email:

At Claire’s, customer safety is paramount, and we pride ourselves on providing our customers with the highest quality and safest products. We wish to address today’s FDA warning that three cosmetic items sold by Claire’s may have been contaminated with asbestos. We assure customers that our products are safe.

Out of an abundance of caution, we have removed the three products identified by the FDA from our stores, and are also removing any remaining talc based cosmetic products. We will honor returns of any Claire’s talc based cosmetics.

There is no evidence that any products sold by Claire’s are unsafe. In early 2018, the three items identified by the FDA were extensively tested by multiple independent accredited laboratories, and all products were found to be compliant with all relevant cosmetic safety regulations. The recent test results the FDA have shared with us show significant errors. Specifically, the FDA test reports have mis-characterized fibers in the products as asbestos, in direct contradiction to established EPA and USP criterion for classifying asbestos fibers. Despite our efforts to discuss these issues with the FDA, they insisted on moving forward with their release. We are disappointed that the FDA has taken this step, and we will continue to work with them to demonstrate the safety of our products.

You can contact Claire’s via its Customer Service page here.

––Karly Wood

 

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15 Lucrative Career Paths for Parents Who Want to Work From Home

By Robin Williams

Raising children nowadays is tough! With the rising costs of raising a child the traditional “stay at home parent” role is becoming increasingly difficult to pull off financially. So, what do you do if you want to raise your kids at home and bring home the bacon?

It can be particularly tough for people who want to find a work from home job that actually pays, but a career… that’s another story!

More people are working from home these days than you may realize. There are a ton of rewarding careers out there that you can work from home but more importantly following your passion and earning income from things that make you happy are easier than ever with the internet, social media and online advertising…and quite frequently, they pay great!

It may be time to explore the exciting concept of life as a stay at home mom or stay at home dad check out these rewarding and gainful work from home careers below.

1. Freelance Writing

Freelance writing can be a great option for people who have strong imaginations. It doesn’t take a big financial commitment, either. If you have a laptop or desktop computer, you can be on your merry way. Consider blogging, too.

2. Graphic Design

Artistic talent can feel like a rare gem. It can also come in handy for people who want to work from the comfort of their own homes. Consider setting up a portfolio online with some examples of your graphic design work.

3. Life Coaching

Becoming a life coach can be a thrilling career path for people who know how to motivate others to take action. If you have insight to share about relationships, career, finance, spirituality and more, being a life coach may be right up your alley.

4. Dog Walking

Animal lovers may want to consider setting up dog walking businesses in their communities. If you have kids who adore dogs, then they may want to join in on the fun any time they’re around. Dog walking jobs can be excellent for people who are responsible, loving and committed to helping others and finding dogs to walk is simple!

5. Childcare

There are many lucrative careers out there for people who love being in the company of children. If you’re a responsible and hard-working individual who has a background working with kids, then you may want to think about starting a daycare or even just a babysitting business in the neighborhood. Parents can drop their children off at your home prior to going to work for the day.

6. Digital Marketing

If you have extensive SEO (Search Engine Optimization), content marketing and branding knowledge, then you should think about pursuing a career in the fast-paced digital marketing realm. You may even want to start a digital marketing consulting firm from home. You can give clients insight regarding website traffic, blogging, social media use, online reputation management and more.

7. Nutrition Specialist

People who have backgrounds in dietary matters may want to pursue vocations as nutrition specialists. If you’ve worked as a dietitian or as nutritionist in the past, you may be able to start a company that runs out of your own home. You can ask your clients to visit you for appointments in your home office.

8. Photography

Did you major in photography in college? Do you have an eye for beauty and for making your subjects look their best? If you do, it may be time to start a photography studio in your home. You can take nature photographs. You can even set up family portrait sessions if you wish.

9. Tutoring

It doesn’t matter if you’re a math genius. It doesn’t matter if you know a lot about science, either. You may be able to help youngsters by offering them tutoring sessions. You can spread the word about your tutoring services through social media as well. It can even help to set up a designated tutoring website.

10. Online Sales

There are so many online platforms that can empower people who wish to make money from home. You can easily establish an account with eBay, Etsy or a host of other options. You can sell anything your heart desires, too. If you’re crafty, you can try your hand at selling homemade jewelry pieces on Etsy. If you have a massive vintage record collection, you can try selling ones you no longer want on eBay as well.

11. Social Media Management

Are you savvy regarding Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and LinkedIn? If you are, a career as a social media manager may be right up your alley. You can help people take charge of Facebook postings, Twitter images and so much more.

12. Data Entry

Data entry positions can be excellent for people who are detail-oriented and who have meticulous typing skills. If you have an organized mind, you may want to get a full time or part time day entry job. There is a ton of data entry work this is easy money!

13. Virtual Assistant

Virtual assistants can aid companies with all sorts of basic daily tasks. Examples include data entry, answering phone calls and making appointments. Virtual assistants are another potential career with endless possibilities there is a ton of VA work available and dependable VA’s can be hard to come by so this leaves a great opening for people who are punctual and detail oriented to make a killing.

14. Bookkeeping

If you’re good with numbers and with keeping track of little details, you should look into work as a bookkeeper. This is a cut and dry career that has been paying great money forever and has excellent job security the only difference is now you can do it in your PJs.

15. Makeup Artist

People who know a lot about aesthetic matters may want to establish careers as makeup artists. If you know how to apply foundation like a champion, you can set up a beauty atelier in your bedroom, living room or residential office. Depending on who you work with and how good you are you can make a very comfortable living!

Working from Home as a Busy & Modern Parent

If you want to be a parent who is always there for your youngsters, then it may be time to look more seriously into working from home. Lucrative careers for stay at home moms and dads exist and there are all sorts of amazing pathways for people who want to work at home to try.

Design, writing, animal care, marketing and beyond: the sky is the limit! Now is your time to seize the day and being your new career from home journey. Raise your kids, earn income, be happy and live an extraordinary life.

Robin is a freelance writer and blogger for health, education, entertainment, home, and family niches. Robin lives in Los Angeles, CA and is the proud Father of one beautiful girl and husband to a wonderful Wife.

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Dear Parents of Kids with That Dreaded Stomach Bug: I See You. I Salute You

By Kristen Cudd

Photo: YouTube

Every parent has been there: you’re just sitting there being a nice, normal family experiencing what you think is nice, normal food digestion when WHAM! Your little one turns a ghastly shade of pale, gets super quiet and blows his insides up all over the room.

You immediately begin fooling yourself, wishing, hoping, practically begging in vain. Maybe it won’t happen again. Maybe it was just a one time thing. Surely it’s possible that this was a singular, thoroughly disgusting event.

But you’ve been to this very messy and smelly party before. And deep inside you know: this isn’t over. This is just beginning. What you’ve got on your hands is a stomach bug and the only question now is who will fall next.

Every sloppy and sad episode leaves you pondering, for the love of all things bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, when. Will. This. End?! You’re down to your last set of sheets and your industrial supply of Clorox wipes is running low. Every single time it happens you think, surely that’s it, right? This has to be over now.

And then it’s not.

When you’re knee-deep in puke-stained sheets, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the digestive health tunnel, but I promise you, this too shall eventually—and literally—pass.

Here are five signs that the dreaded stomach bug is done.

  1. A minimum of 90 minutes has passed since you last started a new load of towels, sheets and soiled PJs.
  2. Your kitchen has been used for something other than the dispensing of Saltine crackers and Pedialyte.
  3. The television is off—or alternatively, broadcasting a program of an adult nature (and I don’t mean the X-rated variety, just the actual human actors variety).
  4. No longer is it necessary to share the couch with a bucket and a bunch of wet spots.
  5. Your child resumes copping an attitude regarding his younger sibling, your ongoing and clearly inadequate care of him or your refusal to resume afore-mentioned animated movie marathon.

But don’t get too comfortable if you find yourself reaching all of these milestones and more. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in these offensive trenches, some bugs are built to last—and they won’t be satisfied until they’ve drained every last putrid drop.

This post originally appeared on Long Days, Short Years, Stiff Years.

Kristen is a Texan living in South Bend, Indiana with her husband, two boys, and their rescue dog, Townes. She enjoys yoga, travel, shaking her money maker, things that make her sweat, sleeping through the night and day dates. 

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