WubbaNub is doing its part to help The Children’s Heart Foundation. According to the organization, almost 40,000 babies are born with Congenital Heart Defects (CHD) every year in the United States, with 25% of them needing surgeries or other solutions to survive.
The Heart Warrior Collection by WubbaNub is an annual lineup that helps support babies born with CHD, with a portion of proceeds going to The Children’s Heart Foundation. This year it’s made up of The Heart Warrior Bear pacifier and lovey.
Both products come with a scar across his chest, just like the tiny heart warrior babies they support.
Carla Schneider, Founder and CEO of WubbaNub shares “We hope this will bring all the little heart warriors and their families some soothing comfort and joy when they need it most.”
Each WubbaNub is made with a medical grade, latex free pacifier that is BPA, PVC and Phthalate-Free. The plush animals help babies use the pacifiers on their own, and each one is hand or machine washable.
You can start shopping The Heart Warrior Collection on Feb. 7 starting at $15.99 each on WubbaNubOnline.com.
This past year has been the hardest yet for our family of three. No secret to the masses, this worldwide pandemic has been an intense, devastating wave. It has caused stress (like for millions of others) financially, as we rely on just one income. It has caused anxiety, and frustration and the feeling of loneliness. The feeling of being trapped and secluded. And it has caused the world death, and despair and heartache. We all know someone who has been affected, in one fashion or another.
But when you think of who has been hit the hardest, for many, special needs children are nowhere on that radar. I feel it impossible to describe the emotion behind watching your child be seemingly forgotten. Day in and day out in the last ten plus months, I have watched my child slowly regress. Autism winning, taking hold of his world, and ours, with no way to stop it. This grows apparent with every skill that has been lost and had to be relearned from previous years; things like simply staying seated, or throwing things away properly.
We have seen more compulsive behaviors like hoarding and hiding items (of no known rhyme or reason) under beds, and couches, and in drawers. We’ve witnessed it in sleep, as Beckett seems to need/get fewer and fewer hours of rest in, with each month that passes. We see this in every meltdown induced by simply having to leave our home (for any reason). Many days, Beckett does not want to be away from his safe space. His bubble. And every red light, every turn, every stop causes a tense meltdown.
And on that same token, visitors, family, they are no longer “welcomed” in our home with his sweet smile and overjoyed personality. But rather, with tears, and frustration, and hands leading them back to the front door, in an attempt to get them to leave. It’s evident in meals, as Beckett’s food list grows smaller yet, though we have tried hard to push new things. There is just too much “new” occurring for him in the day-to-day. And all the while, I still have to keep up that same previous, consistent fight, for him to be truly seen.
There are no specific protocols put in place for children like mine, on the spectrum, and with various other special needs. There is no change made just for them, to keep them excelling, or even just to keep them from backpedaling. Nothing to keep them grounded, in a world turned upside down. Where is their assistance when schools and centers close their doors? Where are they to put their trust, when instructors leave them to their devices, to attempt to learn “like everyone else”?
My son’s mind craves stability and schedules. His body needs consistency and routine. While all the world is going on to “Plan B” with online educating, and rotating schedules, children just like mine are forgotten in the shadows. Forced to magically transform, or “sit tight” and ride out the storm. How is my son to survive a world in crisis, implementing the very structures that push every “fight or flight” mode in his body?
With all my might, I will push to be the brightest beaming lighthouse he needs, to navigate this life, but I am just one light in this dark, wide ocean.
BriAnna is a stay-at-home mom to her Disney loving, son Beckett (5), and wife to her Navy Veteran husband, Cameron. Beckett is Autistic and non-verbal, so BriAnna created her page, "To Infinity & Beyond Words" to shine a light of love on their world of special needs.
Their family of three call Nebraska home, and call themselves blessed.
Why is it that we will be doing fine, “It’s fine, I’m doing fine. Everything is fine.” and then all of a sudden it just hits you? Everything is NOT fine. Anyone else? I mean we are living in a global pandemic and absolutely everything is different now. Everything. Maybe it is so hard because we (or at least I) thought everything was getting better. The summer started to feel like we were getting back to our old selves. My bad. But here we are eLearning, WFH (working from home), preparing for another lockdown. And it is literally dark. And cold. And scary. WTH.
But for the most part, we can push forward, carry-on, and survive. We are getting used to it. It’s unfortunate, but we are. Used to staying home. Used to eLearning and work from home and minimal child care. We are used to not wearing proper pants or shoes. We are used to not seeing our friends and family. We are used to staring out the same damn freaking windows! They call it complacency. We are becoming complacent with this pandemic. Getting used to it. After all, it has been over 8 months now. 8!
It is also called fatigue. We are tired of wearing masks, social distancing, and being reminded to always wash our hands. Even though we have gotten used to it, we are tired of staying home and would do anything to go on vacation and visit family. I am tired of being Super Mom and working from home while caring for 3 young children and eLearning. Maybe everyone knows you are Super Mom and don’t think to check-in or maybe everyone is dealing with all of their own hard stuff right now. We can’t just take a break from all of this and go back to our old normal. We now have to welcome a new normal. And it is all so different.
Also, it is the fear of the unknown. When will they go back to school? When will I operate in my office with my colleagues again and have normal productive adult conversations? When can I work out at the Y and not wear a mask while running? Or stop at the store and not be afraid of all of those looks that I inevitably get because my 3 young kids aren’t social distancing?
Complacency, Fatigue, Fear. Well today, my friends, I lost it. Maybe like many of you, I try so hard to keep it all together. As parents, that is our job. We keep it all together and put everyone else’s needs first. Literally, our job. Today though, it was this sense of being overwhelmed. So much to do and not enough time to do it. No gratification or the reminder that we are doing a good job. Everything felt hard today. I couldn’t prioritize or make the right decisions. Maybe it is true that when you hold it all in, eventually it all comes back out at once. So I walked, I cried, but I walked. And I never cry. I just don’t, ever. But I couldn’t fight it. (And my dear colleague watched my kids this afternoon because she could tell.)
But my sense of being overwhelmed isn’t selfish. It isn’t all about me and all that I have to do. As a parent, it is never “Woe is me.” I know that I am blessed to have a job right now and healthy children and an incredibly caring and hard-working husband. I know this. But I am overwhelmed with everything that is going on. All that I am seeing and hearing and everything that we can’t control. We might be trying to put on a front but this pandemic is hitting us hard. We can’t travel and see family this Thanksgiving. And families that are local can’t even get together. This all hurts so much. Some are sick and struggling severely. It is having an impact on so many and we don’t even know it all yet.
So, this Thanksgiving, let’s be there for one another. Remember to lift each other up. Go out of your way for friends and family. Pay 10 compliments or gestures. We need it. Seriously, we need it more than ever. Maybe we still need to check on one another like we used to do back in April when shelter on place began. Maybe we need to ask, “Ok, but are you sure?” This year, let’s be thankful, so incredibly thankful for what you have. Remember what is most important right now and hold that close to you. Prioritize your health and if you can’t tell someone you love. Don’t let yourself become too overwhelmed without talking about it first. Physical and mental health are ever more important this year. Try not to let this pandemic get the best of us. I am sorry but we aren’t out of the woods just yet.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. Unplug, log off Zoom, put up your out of office reply, and enjoy those you love. Enjoy them so much.
Located in Bloomington, Indiana I am a wife, full-time working Mom to 3 boys, a part-time graduate student & a writer. I am also an optimist, problem solver, peacemaker, gardener, runner and a crazy-busy mom just trying to enjoy each moment. I truly value my friends, family and my mommy tribe.
There’s a certain lure to self-help books. Especially if you’re anything like me. I’m always on the quest for more knowledge, always the perpetual student.
I’m always either trying to constantly look for ways to better myself or I’m looking for ways to do things better, faster or quicker—in other words: shortcuts galore!
I am embarrassed to admit this, but I’ve read almost every popular parenting book out there. (Heck, I’ve even co-authored a surviving twins guide.) Even before I was a parent, I read many self-help books on dating, better communication how to improve my career and more.
(Well, by read, I don’t mean that I actually read all of the books from cover-to-cover. I usually skim through them or read only particular chapters of interest or those that I feel will be of benefit me.)
What I’ve come to realize is this: there’s no magic solution to parenting. There’s no hack.
Parenting is a work in progress. It’s an evolution of ourselves and our children.
Some parenting techniques require both parents (and often grandparents) to consistently apply those techniques for them to be able to work. Some techniques are more rigorous than others. Some are too lax for my parenting style, some are to rigid. But I like picking up a few key ideas from each book.
You have to know your own temperament—and your child’s You have to constantly adjust. Needs change as situations change and as their development changes. Know your child and know yourself so that you can anticipate problems and set boundaries, but adjust them when you need to.
No one tells you how hard parenting is going to be! No single self-help book can help you hack parenting. It’s a work in progress for all of us.
Dr. Patel is an allergist in Pasadena California. She is board-certified in Allergy-Clinical Immunology and Pediatrics. She is the co-author of The Mommy MD guides to Twins Triplets and More! She understands that parenting is the hardest and most fulfilling job you can have. You can find her @TMommyMD.
These words have become a familiar refrain: stay home, stay safe and socially distance. But while most of us were hunkered down during the first few months of the pandemic, these parents (and kids) knew if they socially distanced themselves from those in need countless others would struggle to survive. These amazing individuals decided to do what they could to stay safe while also reaching out their hand (figuratively) to those that needed help. Here are some of those parents – and one kid – who have made a difference in the DC metro area.
photo: courtesy of Peggy Morgan Tyree
Peggy Morgan Tyree with PPE Donations
Peggy has always operated under the principle that if there is something she can do to help out, she should do it. So when Covid-19 hit and everyone was feeling helpless, she jumped at the chance to make a difference. In her role as a Loudoun County Elementary Instructional Facilitator, she had been teaching about 3D printers and authentic uses for them, such as restoring coral reefs and preserving artifacts. She immediately saw another use for the printers and with the full support and permission of her school’s principal, she took the 3D printers home and got to work making PPE. Peggy and three other moms, all while working and raising their children (some young, some teens), ran the printers nonstop since March., creating 7,000 shields from home. Their husbands and children assisted with assembly after the shields were printed. They sent them to local facilities like hospitals, dental offices, preschools, group homes and fire stations. But they also shipped them to other states and even to a hospital in Mexico.
How you can help: You can donate to Peggy’s efforts below or try your own hand at 3D printing at your local library.
This teen isn’t a parent, but his parents made a difference by raising a kid who put his woodworking skills to generous use with his project, Desks for Distance. Colby was inspired by theDesks by Dads initiative, a couple of dads building desks for students in their community in MD, to do the same for students closer to his home. Colby launched his Desks for Distance Facebook page in early Sept. as a solo project and quickly caught the attention of both donors and collaborators. With the help of MOSS Building & Design, Colby and Desks for Distance plan on building 50 additional desks in a single day on September 28th!
How you can help: You can donate via the Facebook link below to help Desks for Distance raise additional funds for materials. While Colby does not take any profit from this project, he wanted us to inform readers he is not an officially registered nonprofit.
Jamila Larson of Homeless Children’s Playtime Project
After 17 years of offering in-person services, Jamila Larson had to quickly pivot to providing contactless services that would still help children and their families feel as if someone cared about them in the middle of a pandemic. The Homeless Children’s Playtime Project now offers Playtime to Go kits to kids living in shelters, as well as play costumes, diapers, groceries, and other emergency supplies homeless families may need.
How you can help: Jamila and her staff are working remotely during the crisis, but if you want to get involved, you can make a donation that will help them continue to provide the above mentioned items to kids and families in need.
Feeling the weight of parenting during a pandemic? Rachel Bailey is there to help! Parent coach Rachel Bailey has been providing private coaching and online parenting tips in the DC area for over a decade. Her Facebook group, “The Parenting Long Game” Podcast community, is free to join and offers support and advice to DMV parents. She’s coined the term “Yuck” for all those times your child may display signs of being uncomfortable—from feeling hangry to throwing tantrums—and doles out ways to peacefully parent your child and restore order in your home. Now, more than ever, kids (and their parents) are feeling a nasty case of the yucks from technology hiccups to virtual classroom frustrations on top of the all-consuming pandemic yucks. Rachel (virtually) holds parents hands and helps them navigate everything from distance learning to post-pandemic parenting stresses.
How can you help: We’re all struggling with Yuck these days. Take a deep breath and check out Rachel’s podcasts for distance learning tips and healthy ways to deal with pandemic-related stresses.
Though she created Greater DC Diaper Bank nearly a decade ago, the need for Corrine’s services has tripled during the pandemic. She opened the bank when she realized that diapers were falling through a crack in the systems designed to help low-income families and children survive. While there were options that provided food, formula, and medical care, none ensured that parents could buy diapers. So Corrine stepped up and filled that gap. The Greater DC Diaper Bank offers more than just diapers these days, though. They also offer other baby needs, including certain types of gently used baby gear, as well as feminine hygiene products.
How you can help: While volunteer operations have been suspended during the pandemic, you can still get involved. With more than140 drop locations throughout the greater DC area, you can easily drop off diapers, formula, or any of theother items they accept for distribution.
It might surprise most people to know that through most of human history we were hunter-gatherers. For tens of thousands of years we travelled in small bands of “Sapiens,” foraging for our food.
In fact, it wasn’t until the “Agricultural Revolution” about 12,000 years ago that we decided to settle down and became farmers instead of travelers.
History calls this decision “progress,” but I think it was a questionable call. Here’s why we were better off as hunter-gatherers:
We were healthier
Imagine a giant open-air health club with a kick-ass cafe and no parking issues. You may be surprised to learn that such a place exists, and it’s called, “nature.”
It’s true, and for thousands of years we used to travel through “nature” unencumbered; like a bunch of hipster chefs out foraging food for their trendy gastro-pubs.
As hunter-gatherers, we were usually on the move, and didn’t stay in one place for more than a few days or weeks. Our travel was dictated largely by the annual migration of animals and the seasonal growth cycles of plants.
We ate whatever we could forage, and that wide variety of foods resulted in a very nutritious diet. Typical hunter-gatherer meals might have included a diversity of fruits, vegetables, edible roots, nuts, meat and fish. (Yes, it was the “original” paleo diet!)
All that nutritious, low-carb food combined with hours of “foraging” exercise each day meant that our ancestors were in tremendous shape, and the obesity rate was probably zero.
Not only did they probably look like (hairy?) CrossFit athletes, but they were really smart too!
We were smarter
You might scoff at the idea that people were smarter 20k years before Siri and Alexa, but hear me out.
All that foraging made us a lot smarter. Can you imagine the breadth of knowledge it would have required to be a successful hunter-gatherer? Just to survive you’d need an extensive, hands-on education in biology, botany, geography, and meteorology.
Hunter-gatherers were true, “Renaissance men” (and women!), with each person learning dozens of practical skills like making tools and weapons, navigating, mending clothes, starting fires, and tracking animals.
In today’s society, most of us specialize in one niche area and depend on the narrow skills of many others to survive. I mean, how much do you really need to know about the earth to sell insurance or design websites?
Sure, as a society we’ve never been collectively “smarter” and more “advanced” than we are today, but as individuals I say we were in our prime as hunter-gatherers.
We were happier
When we put down roots and became farmers, an interesting thing happened. We stopped living in the present, and started worrying about the future.
Thoughts of foraging for our next meal turned to anxiety about harvests months or even years in the future. We worked harder and acquired more possessions, but we fretted that we might lose them if a single crop failed.
When we stopped traveling, we put ourselves on a road to nowhere. Like Sisyphus, we began perpetually rolling a boulder uphill, only to watch it roll back down again.
To this day it seems like the more we chase “progress,” the more despondent we become. If things have improved so much, why are we so damned depressed?
OK, I’m “cherry-picking” some facts (that’s a little “foraging” pun for you!)
Could I really live in a world that had sabre-tooth tigers, but no flushable-toilets?
Maybe not, but I can’t help think we have a lot to learn from our foraging ancestors. Lately even peanuts and gluten seem to be telling us that we’re doing something wrong, so maybe we should listen.
When we were hunter-gatherers we didn’t have to contemplate our right to “the pursuit of happiness,” because it seems we had already found happiness in the pursuit!
I'm Missy, a mother of three and a middle school drama teacher at a private school. I'm obsessed with my Vizsla (dog), traveling, and the musical Hamilton. I also enjoy writing and sharing fun parenting stories, which is what brought me here.
When little teeth start to appear, it usually means more tears for baby and less sleep for you. Whether they’re cutting their first tooth or getting that final molar, Camilia Teething Liquid Doses can help ease the pain, and even helps with other teething symptoms like minor digestive disorders! Read on to hear why three moms who are navigating teething love this simple, stress-free solution.
NYC mom Ana Gambuto went through teething with her daughter not too long ago, so when her youngest, Beau Beckett, started getting his chompers she knew to turn to Camilia Teething Liquid Doses. With plant-based active ingredients, no benzocaine and no preservatives, she can feel good about the ingredients that are helping her family have more giggles and fewer tears!
When Siobhán Alvarez’s son Grey cut his first four teeth at the same time, she knew she needed teething relief stat. With Camilia Teething Liquid Doses, Siobhán doesn’t have to worry about numbing agents that can affect baby’s gag reflex and latch ability, or mask symptoms of something more serious. She also doesn’t have to worry about calculating how much to give him, since the doses are pre-measured!
When my daughter was about 7-years-old, she posed a question to a group of adults that were gathered at my house for a party, “Were you all just talking about how pretty I am?”
Open hole in Earth now and allow me to be sucked in please, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY.
I could tell by the look on her face that is was meant to be cheeky, fun and a little shocking. Lucy has always been this way. A yeller and screamer by nature (I still have PTSD from a tantrum she threw when she was 3); she has always let all her thoughts and feelings known the minute she had them, in whatever form suited her.
If she feels something, she says it. If she disagrees with you, she will let you know, adult or child, it doesn’t matter to her. And if something ‘isn’t supposed to be said’ she has little tolerance for finding out why.
Just like me, she loves a little ‘shock and awe.’ But my brand of disturbance seems so tame and safe, compared to hers. But I could also tell that behind her cheeky fun, she meant every single word of it.
Adults told her she was pretty all the time, so why couldn’t/shouldn’t we be discussing it? What was so wrong with asking? And if it made everyone uncomfortable in the process, for reasons her 7-year-old brain couldn’t fully comprehend…then bonus!
“Were you all just talking about how pretty I am?”
The words hung in the air like a cartoon balloon over her head. Everyone chuckled the way people do when a child says something that’s inappropriate or uncomfortable and you need something to fill the space.
The air was thick with eye rolls and judgment.
After about 6 seconds all eyes turned to me. Why to me? Why not to her dad who was sitting right next to me?
It’s always the mother.
The sucky, indulgent mother who made her daughter’s head too big. She’s so full of herself she dares to proclaim her beauty audibly!
I felt my face hot with shame as I searched my grey matter for something amusing to say. “Come on, Irene! Where’s the quick retort? Where are you?” My brain was flooded with adrenaline as I hunted for some perfect word morsel that would make my parenting seem less Joan Crawford more Joan Lunden.
So I said, full of panic and discomfort, “Middle school will straighten her out. Don’t worry.”
What??????!!!!!
really.
What will middle school do precisely? Show her that she’s not pretty? Show her that she shouldn’t proudly say that she’s pretty in a room full of people? Good news Lucy! Middle school will chip away at your self-esteem so much, you won’t ever think you’re this attractive ever again! Good lesson. And what was the ‘don’t worry’ added at the end? Yes, you don’t have to worry, folks. I have fully grasped the situation!
My daughter is too (fill in the blank) for your liking. I will fix that immediately! I’m a good mother! I swear! I’ll make sure she never feels this good about herself ever again. Or if she does, she will hide it away like thighs with cellulite or an untoned belly. Those parts of being a real woman that the world deems unworthy, ugly and unacceptable. She will stay silent. She will cover it up, suck it in and never speak of it again.
Promise.
It was an awful thing to say. I cringe thinking about my words.
Not only was I announcing that I would be complicit with the world in silencing my daughter, but ‘they’ shouldn’t worry if ‘they’ felt bad about it.
This is how we were silenced, and this is how we silence our daughters in turn.
Thankfully Lucy had left the room before I made my comment (thank you, Universe) and I completely ruined her. I now only relive the searing humiliation of my remark in front of the adults who were in the room that day.
I’ve thought about that moment a lot over the years.
After the party that day, I thought about discussing her remark with her. I would tell her she shouldn’t say things ‘like that.’ I would tell her that it’s impolite to talk about how pretty she is outside of the house. That you should be humble. Thank God it never felt right for me to say anything, and I never did. Maybe it was a part of me finally waking up. That part of me that has trouble taking a compliment without deflecting it, negating it or curling up into a ball. That part that reflexively says, ‘I’m sorry’ when someone bumps into me. That part that stays quiet when I’m hurt because I don’t want to cause a fuss or put anyone out. That part.
Don’t cause trouble.Don’t make a fuss.Never say you’re pretty out loud…or smart…or strong…or….
Lucy is 14 now and is still saying things that make me wish the Earth would open up and swallow me whole. It’s her utter brashness that always makes me uncomfortable and frankly, envious. Middle school for all its trials hasn’t silenced her. Some of her sharper sides have softened…a bit. To survive in this world, you must learn a degree of tact. I’ve tried, with small bits of success, to teach her the importance of timing and how powerful silence can be when the right words fail you. But all in all, she has remained that 7-year-old girl.
“Were you all just talking about how pretty I am?”
No, Lucy, we weren’t. But go ahead ask and make us all squirm. The world is going to try hard to mute this voice of yours. It will try and teach you all sorts of rules about being a girl. Ignore them.
I'm a mom of teenagers. I cry. A lot. I also laugh when I'm too tired to cry. So basically, I'm always either crying or laughing. I can find the humor in most everything...except (fill in with whatever you find upsetting). Just want to make you laugh.
If you are looking to get your kids up and active this summer your options may lie right in your backyard. The North Face is bringing together its diverse group of global athletes to offer two free weeks of online and offline programming that will safely bring the spirit of the outdoors to kids wherever they are. Families can register now for The North Face Summer Base Camp, which will begin Jul. 20.
The free two week program includes three interactive half day activities per week hosted by members of The North Face athlete team and each will offer a video tutorial and instruction on how to complete the activity, all encouraging campers to explore the outdoors and spark curiosity and courage to embark on adventure.
Week 1
7/20 — Adventure Photography with Jimmy Chin
Campers join photographer and mountaineer Jimmy Chin for a crash course in snapping epic shots and learning to make their own pinhole cameras.
7/22 — Geometric Designs with Nina WIlliams
Climber Nina Williams teaches campers about natural formed patterns and shares how to create a masterpiece with items found in the backyard
7/24 — Snacks to Pack with Ashima Shiraishi
Who’s up for a snack attack? Campers head to the kitchen with climber Ashima Shiraishi for tips on making healthy (and delicious) trail-friendly treats
Week 2
7/27 — Map Making with Coree Woltering
Ultrarunner Coree Woltering teaches map making and other handy navigational tricks for getting out (without getting lost)
7/29 — Survival Skills with Manoah Ainuu
Campers circle up with climber Manoah Ainuu to learn sic essential skills for surviving in the wilderness
7/31 — Backyard Basecamp with Hilaree Nelson
Ski mountaineer Hilaree Nelson shares what it’s like to climb Mt. Everest and teaches campers how to build (and pack for) at-home base camps.
Once you hear the full-throated laugh of your child, see them startle in surprise, or hear them squeal “again, again” when you finish a book passage, you’ll be hooked; you’ll know you’ve done it right, and you’ll have created a memory, a feeling, that will last a lifetime.
I know you’re tired. You’ve been working all day. You’ve come home (or have been working in the home) have started (or continued with) the chores, made food, dealt with the bills, the PTA, the in-laws, the friends, the frenemies, politics (lower-case p), Politics (uppercase P), married life, single life, traffic, the boss, the employees, and every other thing that an adult has to deal with on a day-to-day basis. If you have more than one child, I’d set the multiplication factor exponentially at 12 per additional child. Life is hard. Dead stop. Yes, you can say it, think it, feel it. Life is hard. And now, this little human (they are little humans even when they behave like little monsters) wants to hear a bedtime story. I’m here to tell you: Yes. Do it. And, you should encourage them to want to hear a story.
But, how? How do you effectively read with a child? Well, for starters the days of reading to, are over.
1. Be Present. If you think that I’m going to start with some New Age fangled stuff, you’re right. (Although at this point isn’t it really Old Age?) If you are rushing through the reading, looking at your watch, dreading every second of it, and thinking of what you’re going to be doing next, you should not be reading with your child. Stop. Don’t do it. Grab the iPad, the laptop, whatever and go to YouTube and find a story of somebody entertaining reading a book and let your child view that. You can go have a drink (your beverage of choice) and relax. You are in no condition to be reading a storybook. You are not invested. It is not that you are necessarily a bad caregiver. I’m not judging. I don’t know you. You are just not in the right frame of mind to complete the task at hand.
To read a storybook and actually connect with the book and the child, you need to be fully invested in the child and the story. There is no fooling a child. The second your mind starts to wander, the child will wander with you. Reading a storybook is work. And, it should be. The benefits that you read about in those articles I linked? You didn’t think those fell out of the sky, did you? Reading a storybook takes concentration, anticipation, joy, rhythm, and enthusiasm. You cannot do it if your mind is wandering all over the place. You have to fully commit.
If you want to establish a routine of regular reading with your child, you have to do just that: establish a regular routine. It has to be when you both set aside a place and time to be in your own little world–undisturbed from the world around you. You have to start by making the time available in your schedule, to be present. This is not something you can half-ass.
2. Do the Voices. If you are reading along and wondering if you need to do the voices of the various characters, the answer is a resounding, yes! And, by the way, the narrator has a voice. Kids love when each character has a different voice. It keeps up their attention, it sparks their interest, it engages their minds. I want you to stop for a moment and think of the story of The Three Little Pigs. Those of you that know the story, know the line: “Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll bloooooow, your house down!” OK, how many of you just heard that in the voice of the Big Bad Wolf? What about “Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin”? Did you hear that in the voice of a tiny, squealing little pig? Chances are you did.
Now I’m not going to kid you. Doing voices is hard work. And, I know that some of you are put off by this. But I have news for you: your child doesn’t care whether or not you are any good at doing the voices. They only care about your enthusiasm and that you try. So, here are some tricks of the trade. If voices are not your strong suit, do dynamic reading. Vary your rhythm. Speed things up. Slow them down. Take, dramatic, pauses. Stop. Continue. Talk Louder! Talk softer. The punctuation on the page is your friend. Use it as a guidepost. [By the way, even if your voices are good, you should be reading dynamically anyway.]
3. Your Reading Must Be Interactive. Anticipatory/interactive reading is key to not only building a life-long love of reading but to building the critical thinking and reasoning skills we all need to survive in the world.
As you read the story, ensure that your child explores the pictures on the page. Ask questions like: “What do we see in these pictures?” “What do you think this means?” “How is this character feeling?” “Is she happy? Sad?” “Have we seen this before?” “Is there something missing?” You can even ask your child to predict what might happen depending on what the pictures are showing. Every now and then, take pauses in the story and ask your child to review for you what has happened so far. This, is your check for understanding. With younger children, you may have to do a bit of leading. Once you’ve done a recap, ask your child to predict what’s going to happen next and why they think that’s going to happen. As your child gets older, the predictions will get better.
The key to interactive reading is to remember that you are not just a reader, you are actively acting as a parent, teacher, caregiver, instructor, and mentor. You are developing vocabulary, bridging synapses, strengthening concepts–in short, you are building a human building. All, under the guise of reading a storybook.
Father, children's book critic, writer, judge, director, actor and amature photographer—together with his husband of 25 years—raising an energetic four-year old! "Parent is not just a noun, it's a verb. If you're ever in doubt as to what to do, substitute the word caregiver. It will steer you in the right direction."
