ML Interest Tag: survive

How to Cultivate Positivity to Combat COVID Stress

By Josephine Atluri

Life has become overwhelmingly complicated, scary, and exhausting all at once. There are many ways to deal with the stress and anxiety brought on by the quarantine but one of my favorite things to teach my meditation students and my five children is to use an affirmation to pivot into a state of positivity. An affirmation is a simple statement of encouragement and support that can be said to oneself in a declarative way.

When we state something positive to ourselves, the idea is that it will take root within our very being such that we will start to believe it. Once we start to think of this affirmation as truth, we will then begin to call it into our lives. This is the premise behind the law of attraction—our energy and our thoughts are what we will attract.

Every night, I ask my children to give me at least one of their gratitudes and affirmations for the day. Both the affirmation and the gratitude shift my kids’ minds into a state of positivity at the end of the day. The affirmation has the added benefit of boosting their confidence.

During the COVID19 quarantine, affirmations have come in very handy not only for the students in my live stream meditation classes but also for myself and my older children in this time of uncertainty. We have used the following affirmations to boost our positivity and temper our anxiety. These affirmations can be used within a meditation and they can also be said to oneself whenever you need some support to get through a bump in the day.

1. I am safe.

With all of the news and social media coverage on the Coronavirus everywhere you turn these days, our stress levels are constantly being triggered. If the lack of control in this situation is making you feel vulnerable and scared, repeating the mantra of “I am safe” will help reassure your mind that everything will be okay. If you are abiding by the rules of the quarantine set by your local and state officials, then you are safe at this moment.

2. I am healthy.

Anxiety can show up in our bodies in various ways that we may not even realize. Chest tightness, headaches, fatigue are some symptoms brought on by stress and anxiety. Remind yourself that you are healthy and feel it deep within so that you can stave off the tremendous effects of anxiety.

3. I am strong.

Every day that you survive this quarantine is a reminder that you are a strong person. You are strong for handling uncertainty and persevering. You will get through this temporary obstacle in life.

4. I am calm.

When we allow a negative thought into our minds, it can set off a chain of other bad thoughts to come in and take over our being. When you start to feel like the chaos of the world around you is seeping into your mind, stop the cycle in its tracks by tapping into the calm that you have within yourself.

5. I am love.

When it comes down to it, it is not about the things that we have that bring us joy and gives us meaning in our lives. It is the love that we have for others and that we share with others through our relationships, our work, and our passions that fulfills us. Remember that at your very core lies love, an immensely powerful state of being that can overcome anything.

​Try out these simple statements on your own and with your kids to help you stay rooted in the present moment and in a state of positivity.

 

My passion is helping others overcome adversity to find joy via meditation training and my podcast “Responding to Life.” I draw upon my unique fertility journey of pregnancy loss, IVF, international adoption and surrogacy, ultimately becoming a mother of five, to show others the power of perseverance, calm and courage.

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Everything I Need to Know about Surviving Motherhood, I Learned from Prince

By Shelby Spear

Any of you moms able to relate to feeling alone, confused, overwhelmed, desperate—like, at the same time? How about afraid, depressed tense, trapped and angry—about one situation?

These emotions are only a few of the feely things we tend to hide beneath our mask of contentment. These are also just a few of the things we should start getting real honest about it in our real life as a real mom. Eventually, all the fake it ’til we make it holding us together is going to unravel anyway.

So, for the love of all things mushy, mixed up, maddening, magical, melodramatic and magnificent, just when will we feel safe being honest about how we’re feeling as a mom? Why do we pretend to be all variations of “fine” when we are fully aware that vanilla does not accurately depict our frame of mind?

Regardless of why we pretend, the important thing is what we choose to do about it. I believe the best gift we can give ourselves and others is to be authentic about all the feels swirling inside us. Choosing to be vulnerable creates a wellspring of healing salve for everyone—which goes a forever way since we tend to carry the weight of ten worlds on our shoulders.

So how do we do the I’m gonna tell it like it is thing? Where do we get the courage and resolve to wear our diary on our sleeve?

First, we need to call our own bluff and consider the lunacy of our pretending. The mom dictionary says this about the phrase “I’m fine”: liar liar, yoga pants on fire. We should also call our counterpart moms bluff because they are often fibbing right along with us.

Next, we should consider the lyrics in a popular song by a musical legend. You may not have considered Prince to be a pillar of wisdom for mothers and our mushy insides, but I think he’s genius. Consider his words in Let’s Go Crazy (no irony in this song title either):

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” 

(cue deep organ sounds)

Emphasis on we are gathered—emphasis on WE specifically.

Laser focus on we, as in not me or I.

As in together we get through this thing called life. As in together is how we get through motherhood.

The Creator kinda sorta had this communal vibe in mind from the beginning. And as mamas, we need other moms in the village to help us village. We cannot do this mothering gig solo, at least not very well.

The thing is, there’s no magic in the masquerading for us or for the person asking the question, especially if she is another mom. If we use smoke and mirrors, she’ll likely stuff her true feelings back down to match our perceived confidence and joy.

Let’s get real for ourselves and for each other. The next time someone asks us how we’re feeling, let’s tell the truth. We shouldn’t be surprised when the person asking says, “Me too.” It is from this shared and sacred space we can strengthen one another and heal.

A self-described “sappy soul whisperer/sarcasm aficionado,” Shelby is a wife of 27 years & mom of three millennials. She co-authored How Are You Feeling, Momma? (You don't need to say, "I'm fine.") Her stories are in print at Guideposts, online at sites like Her View From Home and Parenting Teens & Tweens, and at shelbyspear.com. Get 3 FREE chapters of Shelby's book

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Nothing like a Crisis to Find Ourselves Again

By Saskia Sorrosa

Two months ago, the Coronavirus felt like a distant problem. I was sad for the countries living in pain, but even as I watched things unfold on TV, it felt far from home.

Fast forward to today, and that distant story is our reality. Not only is Covid-19 affecting life in the U.S., but one of the largest epicenters in the country is my very own backyard. I live in Westchester, NY and in a matter of days, our school districts shutdown, after school activities closed indefinitely, our governor asked that we stop commuting into Manhattan and time just seemed to…stop.

After being bombarded with messages of school closures and district decisions and—OMG THE WORLD IS FALLING APART—I regained my consciousness. I thought, OK, this is life today and we will have to adjust. I made a mental checklist and did roll call: Kids, Dogs, Husband, Business (not in that order). I gave myself permission to fumble and to figure it out as we go.

My game plan was simple:

1.     Business: Meet the increased demands of a world crisis, keep our product in stock, ship to stores, deliver to customers, have contingency plans, survive.

2.     Girls: Teach them valuable lessons about self-sufficiency and imagination.

3.     Partner: Lean into the other working parent, my husband, to manage our 24-hour schedule and sanity.

4.     Dogs: Inform everyone in the house that dogs must be fed and walked and we are all in this together.

5.     Eat.

This continues to be my game plan two weeks in.

Soon after the chaos ensued, I turned to social media to see how the rest of the world was coping. I started noticing posts about homeschooling and parents enthusiastically teaching lessons. I scrolled through hundreds of pictures with hourly schedules of fun activities to do at home with kids. I thought, well, that sucks. I was certain my plan of winging it and keeping my sanity was brilliant until I looked at the pretty pictures on social media.

Between work and no school and simply surviving, I couldn’t see beyond my nose. I felt the external pressures of Instagram telling me to be better and do more, and yet all I could think of was putting one foot in front of the other. I was doing my best but I kept questioning whether this was enough. Then a blessing in disguise: social distancing.

The mandatory space between us and the outside world finally allowed me to tune out the noise and turn inward to my family. As it turns out, that’s all I needed.

The first few days were messy. We became two parents working from home while two girls were bouncing off the walls. As the news about the coronavirus got worse, the demands of my start up business got crazier. Trade shows were canceled, orders surged to an all-time high, and pressures were placed on our manufacturing timelines, all while I prioritized making sure my team and my family stayed healthy. During this hectic time, two young girls were still bouncing off the walls that seemed to be closing in. That’s right, I thought, we can all do hard things (thank you, Glennon Doyle).

I looked around and realized we were all more than OK. We were (mostly!) happy, healthy, and had each other. No one was pressuring me to be or do more. Everyone felt loved. My husband, five and seven-year-old daughters, the dogs and I were all figuring it out as we went and it worked for us.

The past two weeks have been challenging, exhausting and scary at times, but they have also been unusually special. The girls have been learning more about us and our jobs and we have been learning more about them and their school days. We’ve learned that we don’t have to follow a set schedule, or any set of rules, to make things work for us. We can just be who we are and find our own groove. Taking a step back from the outside world gave us an opportunity to reconnect with ourselves and remember who we are without the world telling us who we need to be.

Weekends have also been a welcome change. We normally head into the weekend with a million plans—birthdays, sports, dinners—and have little time to relax. We would wake up on Saturdays and look at our calendar to strategize where we needed to be and when. Now, time on the weekends has stopped. Thanks to social distancing, all our plans are canceled. I can’t remember the last time we had nowhere to be and it feels great.

I keep thinking about how ironic this entire pandemic has been. Like we needed a virus to take our lives back from the over-scheduling, and the gadgets and the FOMO. To be comfortable with stillness and show up in our lives again. To be in the presence of other human beings and make eye contact. To stop living by external pressures and start living our own truth. To heal.

As we navigate through these uncertain times, I hope we all use the space to refuel and rebuild our humanity. Pushing through tough moments, even when it feels impossible, is exactly when we have our most meaningful breakthroughs.

Hang in there. We will all be stronger on the other side!

I'm the Founder & CEO of Fresh Bellies baby food brand. I've won foodie awards, pitched to Shark Tank and appeard on Forbes and CNBC. Originally from Guayaquil, Ecuador, I live in New York with my husband, Fernando and daughters, Isabella and Alexa Luna.

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To the Mothers who Struggle With Postpartum Depression

By Catherine Buhler

‌

Two and a half years ago I was in the hospital gazing down at my newborn and I couldn’t stop the tears. The tears signified helplessness, confusion and anxiety. I knew the cries were from postpartum depression. This wasn’t the tender and compassionate moment I was imagining. I so desperately wanted to feel thrilled, but my hormones were raging and my emotions were kicked off balance. At the time, I didn’t know how to deal with the feelings so I masked it up with makeup and went on my way. When I got home the anxiety consumed me and I often had moments of guilt and sorrow. My sweet Husband held me tight while burping our babe and taking over diaper duty.

The dark memories of those first few days are happy because he helped me adjust and survive. You know what else helped me survive? Taking away the pressure of being the Mom that can flawlessly handle a newborn all while cooking and cleaning in high heels. If we are being completely honest here, there were hours when I didn’t get out of my pajamas. Days where I didn’t shower until 4pm. Whole weeks where I didn’t make one decent meal.  

Once I took that pressure off myself I was better able to function. It was in these minutes where I took time to cherish my newborn, to sing to her, kiss her, snuggle her, bond with her, and not worry about anything else. It was in those moments where I figured out what was important, what I needed to do, and how strong I was.  

Little by little as I took care of myself by lowering the artificial theories of motherhood, I was uncovering my true happiness. I felt happy just me with my baby, in my yoga pants, and undone hair. Little by little I was able to feel more comfortable in my new calling and I felt more confident in my role. I learned how to ask for help, relinquish control, and let go of the expectations of what the world defines as the “perfect mother.” (By the way, there is no perfect mother. Just women who are loving their children, perfectly.)   

And that is why the only advice I give to new moms is to not get out the vacuum, don’t pick up a spatula and put down the blow dryer. Enjoy these moments; take a break from cooking and cleaning, take care of yourself. Trust me…the dishes and the laundry can wait. Your happiness can’t. 

Hi, i'm Cat! We live in Orlando, Florida where my husband works for Mickey Mouse (no, really). We have two kids, Samantha (5) & Preston (2). I suffer from a chronic illness called Short Bowel Syndrome. My ramblings are dedicated to travel adventures, nap time confessions and my medical journey. Cheers!

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How to Survive Postpartum as a Newly Single Mom

By Shana Sanusi

I gave birth 12 days after I walked out of the courthouse with my divorce papers in hand. I arrived at my mom’s house from the hospital a week later, carrying my newborn who was burrito-swaddled in a football-printed blanket.

I hadn’t showered in days. The lack of sleep left my eyes glazed over. The skin of my raw, C-section scar felt stretched-thin to the touch. It could’ve ripped apart anytime.

My heart felt even worse—all torn at the crux while still beating.​

I climbed the staircase with my baby squirming in my arms. I reached my old bedroom that was going to be my home until I could stand on my own two feet again. I stared at my baby’s face—a carbon copy of the person I was once married to—and traced his skin that was yellowed by jaundice.

How was I going to survive this?

If you ever find yourself in a situation like mine, you may rest assured that there are coping strategies to get you through this rough time in life.

What’s important is for you to face the reality of bringing the baby to this world single-handedly head-on. The earlier you do this, the more equipped you’ll be in handling the challenges to come.

I already went through the entire pregnancy, from prenatal checkups to shopping for baby supplies, alone. But I also had to be mentally prepared for the waves of overwhelming emotions and situations that come along with the baby.

Let’s be real: New motherhood is already a terrifying territory to step into.

A body battered by childbirth and a mind that’s clouded by baby blues are only a small part of the whole picture. Entering this exciting-yet-scarily unfamiliar phase on your own is a different battle altogether.

It’s not for the faint of heart.

Regardless, a new mom that finds herself in such a situation is bound to act like the motto for Nike—just do it. Here are some ways to cope with the postpartum stage that will help you stay sane:

Lose the blues and start planning your life ahead.

Your grieving needs to have an expiration date, period. That doesn’t mean that you can’t be vulnerable during this delicate moment, though. Cry when you need to but keep in mind that whatever turmoil you’re going through will gradually cease into peacefulness.

While your marriage or partnership ended, your future with that sweet little person cuddling next to you is going to bloom and live on. Visualize where you see yourself with your child in the next five years for starters and focus on attaining that goal.

I imagined a bright future for my baby and I—both of us traversing down the breathtaking landscape of Iceland and getting our own tiny home on wheels—and that, in turn, made me assess my financial situation. Finance is the most vital aspect to consider when you’re single parenting. So make that grand goal of yours, and this unpleasant circumstance, the ultimate drive for you to get your life back on track.

Lose the guilt and send your baby to daycare early.

Depending on where you live and the nature of your job, the length of maternity leave may be as brief as two weeks to a generous 85 weeks altogether!

Despite getting three months of paid leave, I sent my baby to a licensed daycare as soon as he turned eight-weeks-old. I needed the time and freedom to set up my online business and focus on increasing modest single income.

Nevertheless, it’s not the question of when you return to the daily grind but rather the guilt that nags at you when you have to be away from your baby.

Try changing your perspective on why you have to work. You’d do anything you can to support this baby on your own and putting him or her under the care of others is reasonable, if not the only, choice you have.

There’s also a mental health benefit. Having some time off from tending to a baby is essential. Use this time to take a break, and regain your sanity so that you can be at ease and happy with your parenting role in the long run. 

Lose the ‘lack’ mentality and be grateful for the present moment.

There’ll be times when you cross paths with a cheery-looking couple going for a stroll with their baby and such sight will drive the sharpest stake right into your vulnerable heart. Look at it this way: You know deep down that you’d be worse off if you had chosen to stay in a troubled, unhappy relationship while raising the baby. You need to realize that you and your child are a complete, more-than-enough team to take on the world.

I’d usually find a quiet time to take in my baby’s charm—his curled-up toothless grin, his soft, milky breath and his eyes sparkling with excitement at the mere sight of my face. Doing this made me feel grateful that I got to experience motherhood and have such a meaningful connection with an innocent human being.

So get a notebook to journal in or open the notes app on your phone and list at least one thing you’re most grateful for that day. Know that you have so much courage to pull this through—this road less taken—and still thrive.

The postpartum phase is one crazy rollercoaster ride full of fear and thrill. Still, you’ll survive and even cherish the life-altering experience and lessons. Your unerring maternal instinct will kick in and push you through the fuzzy days. 

The process will also make you understand one thing: Your baby isn’t the only one who’s growing up. 

You are too.

Shana Sanusi is a freelance digital content and copywriter for hire specializing in lifest‌yle, personal growth and occasionally, parenting topics. In addition to working on her writing projects, she binge-reads Law of Attraction books and hangs out with her infant son and cats. Follow her on Medium at @shanasanusi.  

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Making Health a Part of My Family’s 2020 Goals

By Kate Loweth
Partner Content

photo: Kate Loweth

We’ve hit the ground running in 2020 and getting my family’s health into tip-top shape is at the top of my goals for this new year, new decade. I do my best to make healthy, well-balanced meals for my husband and three kids but honestly, it’s not always a success (and my middle child could really survive solely on white bread, ramen and cereal if he had the choice). The after-school hours are busy and sometimes I have to resort to quick meals or pizza (without a vegetable in sight).

For some reason, the habit of taking a daily vitamin isn’t something I’ve been able to incorporate into my family’s routine in the past. I’d go a few weeks with my kids taking a morning vitamin on a semi-regular basis and somehow that would peter out and the vitamin bottle would end up collecting dust in the back of our cabinet. That was until I introduced my kids to MyBite Vitamins. Found at Target (and other large retailers), these seemed like a great idea because they had all the vitamins I was looking for in one chocolatey bite.

photo: Kate Loweth

To be honest, I tricked my kids the first time I gave them a MyBite Kidz vitamin. I wanted them to try it without any “this is healthy for me” bias so I gave them one after school and didn’t mention the vitamin part, just asked them what they thought. My middle child was dubious, as it wasn’t normal for me to offer them chocolate after school, but they were game to try.

My youngest son, Joe, immediately asked if he could have another and claimed that it tasted like a “fancy candy bar.” When I asked my 12-year-old daughter, Nora, if she’d be interested in having one of these every day, she said, “I’m definitely interested in chocolate whenever you want to give it to me.” Even Mr. Picky Eater Middle Child had no complaints, even when I came clean and told them that what I’d just given them was a MyBite Kidz vitamin.

As a mom, I like that my kids remind me to give them their MyBite Vitamins in the morning instead of it being another thing I have to remember. It has been super easy to incorporate the MyBite Kidz into our daily routine and I feel good knowing that even if our dinners are hectic and not always perfect, they are getting a good multivitamin with vitamin A, vitamin B12 and other nutrients they need as growing kids. And with MyBite Immune they get Zinc along with 100% daily value of vitamins D and C that they need to fight all those kid germs at school.

I’ve added the MyBite Hers into my regimen so that I can keep myself strong and healthy. It makes me feel good knowing that in spite of their great taste, MyBite Vitamins have limited sugar and calories and don’t contain any artificial colors, flavors or added preservatives. It’s one more step in the right direction for my family’s health in 2020.

Now through February 1, 2020 save $3 on MyBite Vitamins!

—Kate Loweth

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

Kate is a a Bay Area native with three kids. She loves the outdoors, Bloody Marys and reality TV. Her life goal is to see more of the world! 

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Kraft Is Now Selling Mac and Cheese Topping in a Jar & Goodbye Picky Eating

by Shahrzad Warkentin

Does it seem like your kids could survive entirely on mac and cheese? Now you can bring the flavor they crave to other foods with Kraft’s new Macaroni and Cheese Topping Sauce or Sprinkle.

If your kids love the taste of mac and cheese, then maybe they’ll be willing to eat broccoli covered in cheese flavoring. You can whip the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Topping into a sauce with milk and butter just like you do when you make a box of Kraft’s Macaroni and Cheese. You can also simply sprinkle the stuff over veggies or really anything that sounds like it might be more appealing with a dose of cheddar flavor.

The only tricky part is tracking some down. The 20-ounce shaker of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Topping Sauce or Sprinkle is currently available at east coast based wholesale club, BJ’s for $6.99.

If you don’t live in the region of a BJ’s, you can still score the stuff online on Amazon and eBay, but you’ll have to pay a steeper price. If it gets your picky eater to try some veggies, it just might be worth it.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

All photos: Amazon

 

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These Are the Funniest Parenting Tweets of 2019

by Karly Wood

This year has been one for the books and as we prepare to say goodbye to 2019, it’s impossible not to look back and see the humor in it all. From surviving winter and summer break to getting back into school schedules and wrangling toddlers, parenting was nothing if not a wild ride this last year. Keep scrolling to see some of the best tweets from this last year and get ready for all that 2020 is bound to bring.

1. A moment of silence.

https://twitter.com/LetMeStart/status/1080804291563139072?s=20

2. Same.

3. It totally counts.

5. When even their “inside voice” is too loud.

6. It’s an acquired taste.

7. Do as I say, not as I do.

8. It’s quite the skill.

9. Always

10. Starting the day off right.

11. DATE NIGHT!

12. But seriously.

13. We will make it––promise.

https://twitter.com/MommedRealHard/status/1107790346547855360?s=20

14. Because kids.

15. Honesty is always the best policy.

16. It’s going to be amazing!

17. Have kids, they said.

18. Yep.

19. Are we there yet?

20. Slow and steady wins the race.

21. Technically that IS accurate so…

22. Maybe next year.

23. True happiness!

24. Not it!

25. The big man is totally on speed dial.

––Karly Wood

 

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The “Jumanji: The Next Level” Final Trailer Is Here & It’s Going to Be a Wild Ride

by Shahrzad Warkentin

The cast of 2017’s Jumanji is heading back to theaters for a brand new adventure and now you can get an extensive look at the challenges and hilarity in store with the final trailer for Jumanji: The Next Level.

Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Karen Gillan and Jack Black are all jumping back into the game of Jumanji, but this time things are looking a little different both in the game and for the characters themselves. As the first trailer already revealed, Jumanji is getting a new twist when the real world grandfathers, played by Donald Glover and Danny DeVito, accidentally stumble into the video game world.

The new trailer gives fans a big glimpse of what to expect when the already topsy turvy world of Jumanji gets turned on its head. With new game settings and characters taking on multiple roles, it will definitely be a wild ride. The question is, will everyone survive? As the trailer ominously predicts, “Not everyone will make it out alive.”

Luckily fans won’t have much longer to wait. Jumanji: The Next Level hits theaters Dec. 13.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: IMDB

 

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