In an increasingly global world, having the ability to connect across languages and cultures is a beautiful thing!

There is a belief that being bilingual can only be achieved if a child begins to speak two languages simultaneously. I disagree. It’s a myth that you can’t be bilingual past a certain age. Although the ideal is to start learning languages in parallel, you can be bilingual by learning later as well.

I’m a Hispanic-American mother who was born and raised bilingual in Spanish and English here in the United States, while my parents are South American natives who have been in this country for over 30 years. Over the years, I’ve learned that you can learn a language and be bilingual if you study it in the right way.

Any child can be bilingual. And bilingual people not only have the advantage of knowing how to speak in another language, with the benefits that will accrue to the professional level but psychologically as well. Bilingual children are more creative, develop their brains differently, and have higher self-esteem.

How to Learn to Be Bilingual in Spanish and English

A safe bet is a total immersion in the language. Courses spoken in Spanish make it easier for children to get used to listening to another language, phonetics, and expressions and associating it with people who always speak to them in that language.

Children don’t have to resist speaking in English. It Is normal if they wish to communicate in the language with which they feel more comfortable. Don’t pressure them. If children feel pressured, they’ll end up blocking the language, making it harder for them to enjoy learning. A common mistake parents make is to press without realizing it. The typical “Tell me something in Spanish” when they pick you up after school can potentially have a negative effect.

It bears repeating: if a child feels pressured, they’ll end up blocking the language, and it will be more difficult for them to enjoy learning and therefore to learn.

On the other hand, the brain needs time to be able to jump into speaking another language. It’s like math. A child can’t learn to add without knowing anything about numbers first. Trying to get him or her to speak a new language on the first day of class is like forcing a kid to do math with three-figure sums while they are still learning the basics of single digits numbers.

Parents need to understand that learning a language takes a while. The first six months to a year of a child’s life are “the period of silence,” a necessary time during which the child can’t speak any language, but his brain is working. One day, all of a sudden, they’ll start building sentences correctly! I was so excited when this first happened, but I digress!

Simple Things Parents Can Do to Introduce Spanish to Their Kids

  • Watch TV and movies in Spanish: Many stations such as ABC, Netflix, and Disney have Spanish language options. Just change the language in the audio settings or switch to the dedicated Spanish language station. Movie night in Spanish can be fun for the whole family.
  • Find bilingual books: We can instill a love of reading in another language using bilingual books adapted to their age. Some libraries also have audiobooks that can be listened to at home, in the car, or before bedtime.
  • Find simple and fun activities to help reinforce learning: For example, if the school focuses on learning nouns for colors in Spanish, ask your child to call out the colors of buildings and signs on the way home.
  • Download apps in another language that children can use: Always make sure they are age appropriate of course.
  • Teach at Certain Times: Alternate between speaking English and Spanish on different days. These help keep the languages fresh and strengthen their ability to switch between languages once they grow older.
  • Teach by Specific Themes: Use a certain language to talk about something in particular. For example, if there’s a favorite Spanish language series that has now been adopted, always discuss it in Spanish.

Children’s minds can absorb a great deal of information while they are young, and it’s the best time to teach them a new language. My husband speaks five languages, and I’m always jealous of his ability to connect to so many people and cultures in so many parts of the world. During increasingly polarized and divisive times, sharing culture and language can help bring us all closer together.

Im a new Hispanic mother in the United States here to offer tips for new parents about the best products for their little ones.

Look no further than your own family to find role models for your children. Grandparents can inspire the younger generation’s values and future

We all know that grandparents are our kids’ go-to source for bear hugs, commiseration (you are the common enemy), and yummy movie night snacks. But did you know that kids benefit from their grandparent’s advice, guidance, and endless love, too? Yup, research shows that it’s a win-win for both generations, and so, in honor of Grandparent’s Day on Sept. 11, here are 10 reasons why your kids need to get in that QT with Nana, Pop-Pop, Mimi, or Gramps.

Grandparents Provide Unconditional Love

Mira Temkin

Grandparents love your children and want to be around them, helping them mature and shaping them into smart, caring adults. Showering your children with unconditional love will go a long way toward instilling confidence in them and ensuring that they have a brighter future. 

You'll Help Your Parents Live Longer

A grandfather happily lifts his baby grandson into the air
iStock

Scientists now believe that grandparents who babysit live longer than those who don’t. A study showed babysitting grandparents had a whopping 37% lower mortality risk than adults of the same age who have no “caring responsibilities.” They believe time spent with grandchildren creates a sense of purpose and also helps keep grandparents physically and mentally active. 

Related: The Most Awesome “Gramping” Packages for Skip-Gen Travel

Grandparents Want to Show Them the World!

A child spends time outside in the park with his grandparents
iStock

Hopefully, your mom and dad will want to explore the world with your kiddos and take them to visit historic and educational destinations. Your parents may have the financial means to go a little further and take the kids on a skip-gen trip by themselves. Count yourself very lucky if they can.

Related: 11 Tips for Grandparents Traveling with Grandkids

They Can Enjoy New Experiences Together

Mira Temkin

Let your mom and dad take your kids on educational, yet fun outings—to museums, art shows, and musical theatre performances. Let the grandparents serve as role models, showcasing their passion for culture. Kids who are exposed to the arts will be more likely to pursue these experiences on their own as they continue to grow.

You Can All Be Part of a Team

A girl and her grandfather are in the kitchen cooking together
iStock

Raising children is like a team sport. You’ve heard the expression, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Encourage your parents to be a part of the team and let them take great pride in fostering your children to become confident, healthy adults. That’s something you can all be proud of accomplishing. 

Related: 12 Games to Play with Grandparents

You'll End Up with Happier, More Secure Children

Happy grandparents spending time with their grandchildren sit on a couch laughing
iStock

If you need more convincing, a study at the University of Oxford by Professor Ann Buchanan from the Department of Social Policy and Intervention showed that “a high level of grandparental involvement increased the well-being of children.” Their study of more than 1,500 children showed that those with a high level of grandparental involvement had fewer emotional and behavioral problems.

Grandparents Can Be Your Child’s Best Sounding Board and Source of Comfort

a boy hugs his grandpa from behind on a sunny day
iStock

It’s a tough world out there. Your kids see how hard you work and may feel more comfortable sharing their issues and concerns with their grandparents, who might be less judgemental. If your child dreams of becoming an astronaut, grandparents have the power to encourage them. If a family is struggling, grandparents can just be there to listen and provide empathy for their fears.

Your Kids Can Learn about the Past

Grandparents sit on the beach with their two grandchildren
iStock

There was a time in the not-so-distant past when our lives weren't ruled by technology. Grandparents can share stories about years when humans weren't living in a digital world; kids will love seeing pictures of their grandparents doing their favorite things and come to understand how different life was back then.

Grandparents Can Help Kids Do Good for Others

A girl and her grandmother look at grapes on a vinyeard
iStock

The elder generation may also place a high value on volunteering at religious and social service organizations. They may ask to bring the kids along with them at events like sorting donations at a food bank, packing school supplies, and purchasing warm coats for needy children. Participating in these kinds of activities will teach your children about compassion.  

 

Your Kids Can Learn about and Share Their Values

Mira Temkin

Grandparents have an opportunity to share their values, like the importance of getting a good education, staying close to family, and being kind to children at school who may be physically and mentally challenged, with your kids. The influence of positive role models is critical as children tend to model the behaviors they see; listening to their grandparents will serve as a guide for your kiddos.

 

Put on your dancing shoes because these Portland-area dance studios have it all for kids

Children love to express themselves through movement—or maybe they just love to move. If your kids are all about showing off with their newest dance moves (thanks, TikTok), it’s time to sign them up for one of our favorite dance classes near Portland. Not only do these Portland dance studios offer an opportunity for kids to harness their talents, they give them a chance to have fun and exercise too (hint: check out our favorite rock climbing gym spots and indoor playgrounds for more movement ideas). Now is the time to sign up for a local dance or movement class.

Portland Dance Studios for Kids

1. NW Dance Project

NW Dance Project has earned itself a reputation for cultivating and nurturing young dancers. Their Youth Dance Program offers exceptional year-round programming for youth ages 4 to 18. Dancers will experience the joy of dance taught by Portland’s finest teachers. Sign your little dancer up for beginner ballet or contemporary dance.

211 N.E. 10th Ave.
Portland
Online: nwdanceproject.org

2. Kids Club Fun & Fitness

At Kids Club Fun & Fitness, kids can take dance, gymnastics, and swimming lessons. They offer ballet and musical theater classes as well as a variety of classes for tots, all the way up to age 12.

13914 N.W. 3rd Ct.
Vancouver, WA
Online: kidsclub4fun.com

Related: Make a Splash! Portland’s Best Indoor Pools & Water Parks

​3. Portland Parks & Recreation

If you are as proud of where you live as we are, consider taking your little ones to our city’s dance classes. Portland Parks & Recreation is a reflection of all we stand for as Portlanders: variety, community, kindness, and an affinity for being eccentric. Offering an array of dance classes for a variety of ages plus parent/child classes, Portland Parks & Recreation helps everyone boogie. With a variety of locations, an easy online schedule, and registry (complete with class description and how many spots are left) this site is a great way for your family to find their groove.

Greater Portland area
Online: apm.activecommunities.com

4. Portland Metro Arts

Portland Metro Arts is home to dance, theatre, music, and visual arts programs. They focus on helping dancers discover their favorite form of self-expression through supportive, quality classes and an emphasis on always being a kid at heart. Their dance program breaks down by the school year and the summer season with performances peppered in.

9003 S.E. Stark St.
Portland
Online: pdxmetroarts.org

5. Dance With Joy Studios

It’s no surprise that this studio’s mission is “to be a positive force in your world by adding joyful moments to your day!” They work to enrich the mind, body, and soul through teaching with creativity, excellence, responsibility, and teamwork all while honoring each dancer’s individual learning style and needs. So smile, twirl, and leap on over to this center full of classes for “little toes” to kids.

7891 S.E. 17th Ave.
Portland
Online: dancewithjoystudios.com

6. New Vision Dance Center

New Vision Dance Center has classes for everyone—little ones and older. Enroll your young kiddos in the Hippity Hop class for 3-to-4-year-olds or 4-to-6-year-olds. Your older kiddos will enjoy the challenge of the more advanced classes. These dance classes will benefit your whole family.

8975 N.E. Walker Rd.
Hillsboro, OR
Online: newvisiondance.com

Related: Reach New Heights: Portland Climbing Gyms for Kids

7. Steps PDX

Check out Steps PDX for a variety of classes for your kids. They put on exciting dance showcases with fun themes that your kids will love to be a part of. They also have a Steps for Youth program that partners with schools to get more kids involved with dance. Let your kids express themselves while learning amazing skills.

1734 S.E. 12th Ave.
Portland
Online: stepspdx.com

Summer is coming in hot, hot, hot. That means it's time to snag tickets for the best performances coming to the DC area. Enjoy al fresco sing-alongs at Wolf Trap, score free tickets for kid-friendly jams at the Strathmore or trade movie night for the concert version of your favorite cinematic score. If you want to know when Hamilton is hitting the stage or where you can belt out Encanto, scroll down. 

Free Concerts for Kids

Strathmore

Black to the Future
Join Pierce Freelon on Strathmore's front lawn to hear this Grammy-nominated artist blend elements of Afrofuturism, Black history, and archival voices. This "Black to the Future" concert will be fun for the entire family.

When: July 28, 7:00 p.m. 
Where: The Music Center at Strathmore, 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda,MD
Online: tinybeans.com

Elena Moon Park
Korean-American musician Elena Moon Park will perform traditional songs, including Japanese sea shanties, Tibetan jump rope rhymes and joyous Korean harvest sing-alongs with her own twist. There will plenty of opportunities to sing and dance along in multiple languages.

When: July 14, 7:00 p.m. 
Where: The Music Center at Strathmore, 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda, MD 
Online: tinybeans.com

Somos Amigos: Songs on Common Ground
Sonia De Los Santos and Americana folk duo The Okee Dokee Brothers join forces to bring a joyful message of friendship, This bilingual performance includes songs, old and new, that span the musical traditions of North America.

When: Aug. 11, 7:00 p.m 
Where: The Music Center at Strathmore, 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda, MD
Online: tinybeans.com 

Films In Concert

Wolf Trap

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince In Concert
The music in the Harry Potter films is just as magical as the stories themselves. The National Symphony Orchestra, led by Steven Reineke, will be playing along on-stage to the 6th installment of the Harry Potter movie series to add an additional layer of beauty to the beloved film.

When: July 22, 8:00 p.m. & July 23, 8:00 p.m.
Where: Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, 1551 Trap Rd, Vienna, VA
Online: tinybeans.com

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back in Concert
Star Wars would not be the same without it's incredible soundtrack. In this special showing, The National Symphony Orchestra presents John Williams’s iconic Oscar®-nominated score from The Empire Strikes Back performed live along with the full feature film. Even if you have seen The Empire Strikes back 100 times already, you have never seen it like this!

When: July 29, 8:00 p.m. 
Where: Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, 1551 Trap Rd, Vienna, VA
Online: tinybeans.com 

Disney and Pixar's Toy Story in Concert

Hear the score for "You've Got a Friend in Me" and other songs from Toy Story in an entirely new way. In this performance, the National Symphony Orchestra will play along with the popular movie featuring the Oscar® and Grammy®-winning score by Randy Newman.

When: July 30, 8:00 p.m
Where: Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, 1551 Trap Rd, Vienna, VA
Online: tinybeans.com 

John Williams at 90: ET in Concert
If you have a soft spot for an adorable Extra Terrestrial who just wants to "phone home" head to the Kennedy Center to hear the score to ET performed by the National Symphony Orchestra. Listening to the movie's music played live as the action unfolds on the big screen will renew your love of this classic film.

When: June 22, 8 p.m. 
Where: Kennedy Center, 2700 F St NW, Washington, DC
Online: tinybeans.com 

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Sing-A-Longs

Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts

Encanto
Whether your child belts out "We Don't Talk About Bruno" on the regular or you secretly sing "Surface Pressure" alone in the car, you will not want to miss this Encanto Sing Along. The entire film will play onstage accompanied by a live band. Best of all, singing every word to every song is strongly encouraged. Check out special VIP packages with perks, including the opportunity to walk the Encanto-themed red carpet.

When: Aug. 11 at 7:30 p.m. 
Where: Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, 1551 Trap Rd, Vienna, VA
Online: tinybeans.com 

Sound of Music
If you can't stop yourself form singing along to the Sound of Music this performance is for you. Not only is singing along encouraged, but costumes are too! Best of all, you don't need to worry about forgetting any words to the songs since they will be displayed on the screen as the movie plays. 

When: July 16 at  7:00 p.m. 
Where: Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, 1551 Trap Rd, Vienna, VA
Online: tinybeans.com 

ABBA The Concert
Mama Mia! Sweden’s ABBA The Concert continues to be the top ABBA tribute group in the world, dazzling audiences with fantastic performances of ABBA’s iconic hits.

When: Aug. 7 at 8:00 p.m 
Where: Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, 1551 Trap Rd, Vienna, VA
Online:tinybeans.com

The Original Kings of Go-Go
Every DC kid should be familiar with the city's homegrown musical style. This performance will feature a collection of the best go-go groups in DC and invites audience members to come ready to dance and sing!

When: May 28 at  7:00 pm
Where: Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, 1551 Trap Rd, Vienna, VA
Online:  tinybeans.com

A Juneteenth Celebration with Thee Phantom and the Illlharmonic Orchestra
Juneteenth is finally getting the recognition it deserves as an essential date in American history. This is an all-ages show, focused on celebrating Juneteenth. Since it takes place on Father's Day it's also a great option to celebrate the special Dad in your life.

When: June 19 at 6:00 p.m. 
Where: Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, 1551 Trap Rd, Vienna, VA 
Online:  tinybeans.com

Just for Kids

Imagination Stage

Mr. Popper's Penguins
Mr. Popper, a painter of modest means, dreams of taking an Antarctic adventure. Soon the patter of 20 baby
penguin feet are afoot. To feed all of these mouths, the imaginative Mr. Popper and his wife turn
his talented penguins into a must-see traveling vaudeville act full of song and dance.

When: Jun. 22 - Aug. 7
Where: Imagination Stage, 4908 Auburn Ave, Bethesda, MD
Online:imaginationstage.org

A Monster Calls
Based on the popular novel by Patrick Ness, this stage adaptation brings to life the story of thirteen-year-old Conor who goes through a hard time after moving to America. One night, at seven minutes past midnight, Conor is woken up by a monster at his window. The monster has come to tell Conor stories about where it has been before. Then, Conor needs to tell his own story and face his deepest fears.

When: May 25-Jun. 12
Where: Kennedy Center, 2700 F St NW, Washington, DC
Online: tinybeans.com

Little Red Riding Hood and the Three Pigs
You know the Big Bad Wolf from Little Red Riding Hood. You know the wolf from The Three Little Pigs. Have you ever considered that the wolf might be the same in both classic tales? Have you ever considered that maybe he's not so bad and is just misunderstood? Catch this puppet show to see if you've been wrong this entire time.

When: June 2- July 3
Where: Puppet Co. Theatre, Glen Echo Park, 7300 Macarthur Bouvard, Glen Echo, MD
Online: tinybeans.com 

Ravel Dance Company Presents Cinderella
This version of Cinderella is based on the Brothers Grimm fairy tale, features over 80 dancers and is sure to delight the entire family. The ballet will feature the original ballet score by Sergei Prokofiev.

When: Jun. 5
Where: Capitol One Hall, 7750 Capital One Road, Tysons, VA
Online: tinybeans.com

Fantastagirl and the Math Monster

Fantastagirl, a second-grade superhero who uses words to save the day, comes face to face with her worst nightmare: the Math Monster! When confronted with problems too big for words alone to solve, Fantastagirl must accept help from her friendly, furry, fraction-loving foe. While Fantastagirl and Math Monster use words and numbers to help her friends and scientist moms, something far more sinister than Math brews on the horizon.

When: June 17 – August 21
Where: Adventure Theatre, Glen Echo Park, 7300 Macarthur Bouvard, Glen Echo, MD
Online: tinybeans.com 

Children's Theatre In the Woods
The beloved Children's Theater In The Woods program returns this summer. Kids can enjoy music, dancing, theatre, puppets and more. Stay after the performance for a walk through the woods and a picnic lunch.

When: Tues.-Sat. at 10:30 a.m. 
Where: Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, 1645 Trap Road, Vienna, VA
Online:  tinybeans.com

New York City Ballet: A Midsummer Night’s Dream
This Shakespearian comedy is adapted beautifully by the New York City ballet. Although this performance is not technically a children's production, this version of the classic ballet is very family friendly.

When: June 7-12
Where: Kennedy Center, 2700 F St NW, Washington, DC
Online: tinybeans.com

 

A Different Kind of Show

Feld Entertainment /Monster Jam

Start Your Engines!
Watch Monster Truck drivers (and their trucks) perform tricks, jumps and more at Monster Jam. You can even vote for your favorite using an app.

When: June 11
Where: FedEx Field, 1600 Fedex Way, Landover, MD
Online: tinybeans.com 

Blue Man Group
Experience eclectic music and art performed by men covered in blue from head to toe. This unique experience with a cult following will be fun for everyone.

When: July 19-31
Where: Kennedy Center, 2700 F St NW, Washington, DC
Online: tinybeans.com

Cirque du Soliel 
Cirque du Soliel Kurios: Cabinet of Curiosities tells the story of an inventor who defies the laws of time, space and dimension. His goal is to reinvest everything that surrounds him. In doing so, the visible becomes invisible, perspectives are transformed, and the world is literally turned upside down.

When: July 29 - Sept. 25
Where: Tyson's Corner, 1961 Chain Bridge Rd, Tysons, VA
Online: tinybeans.com

Six
Six has it all from Tudor Queens to Pop Princesses. Want more? This sensational broadways how tells the story of all six wives of Henry VIII. These women (even the ones who were beheaded) take five hundred years of historical heartbreak and turn them into an exuberant celebration of 21st century girl power.

When: July 5 - July 10
Where: National Theatre, 1321 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC
Online: tinybeans.com

Hamilton
Unless you have been living under a rock you are already familiar with this legendary musical telling the story of Alexander Hamilton. If you have a Hamil-Kid bring them to see Hamilton when it returns to DC.

When: Aug 2 – Oct 9
Where: Kennedy Center, 2700 F St NW, Washington, DC
Online: tinybeans.com

RELATED STORIES:

Awesome Music Venues for Families in D.C.

18 Handmade Instruments that Actually Play Music 

Outdoor Art Spaces You Can Set Up Today

Looking at life from a different perspective can be a challenging lesson to teach young children. But this is how you can help your child shift their mindset from being focused on the center of self, to an observer of the world around them. This can be done through play and invites the possibility to engage others, objects, and landscapes in a creative way. Playing with perspective supports the notion that we are not limited to seeing things from one viewpoint. We can go beyond our limitations of what we see by using the inventiveness of our imagination.

Looking through a different lens can also help to shift a negative state of mind as it interrupts the way we see our surroundings in the immediate moment. Think of different perspectives as a cognitive brain exercise, in order to see things from a different aspect, we have to look outside the box and help shift attention from self to others. It is a social and emotional skill that requires empathy and understanding.

This activity can also be used as a tangible emotional self-regulation tool, pick up the butterfly and go for a walk when emotions are heightened, to take a look at life from a different angle.

Materials You Need to Craft Your Own Butterfly Perspective Lens: 

  • Recycled box

  • Black Marker

  • Box cutter

Directions to Make the Butterfly Perspective Lens: 

1. Cut out one side of the box

2. Draw the shape of a large butterfly

3. Cut out the wings of the butterfly

4. Take your butterfly on a walk, discover the world through a different perspective

5. What do you see?

Check out the easy-to-follow video here!

Do you have a story you’d like to share with our readers? We’d love to hear it! Sign up to contribute your story on our Voices Network.

Hi! I am an author, founder and educator. I have a Bachelor of Media Communications, Bachelor of Elementary Education Degrees as well as an Early Childhood Montessori Certification and in the process of completing a Master of Education. I live between New York and Byron Bay. I'm the mama of Grace, Theodore and Little Dude! 

*This information is based on the work of the Children’s Community School in Philadelphia and was written by Katrina Michie, who gave us permission to republish this on our website. Please help support their efforts by sharing and tagging the school as the source, and if you can, donate to their efforts and to any related causes.

“So you’ve realized your kids aren’t too young to talk about race, so now what? We’ve rounded up some resources for you to start. The Children’s Community School in Philidelphia did all the research and legwork on this information. We adapted it. Check out their amazing resource page.

Here is a short podcast, put together by NPR and the Sesame Street Workshop, that is a great primer as well as offers an understanding on how to talk to young children about race:”

Talking Race with Young Children (Podcast Episode)

Articles for Parents & Caregivers about Talking about Race:

Anti-Racism for Kids 101: Starting to Talk about Race

Here’s How W. Kamau Bell Talks about Race with His Kids

100 Race-Conscious Things You Can Say to Your Child to Advance Racial Justice

Raising Race-Conscious Children

4 Things We Should All Teach Kids about Racism Right Now

Great Educational Podcast for Adults on the History of Race in America:

Seeing White Series on Scene On Radio

Resource for Teachers & Educators for Discussing Race with Children:

Teaching Tolerance: Race & Ethnicity

Books for Adults Who Want to Learn More about Race & Racism in America:

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

Toys that Embrace Diversity:

People Colors Crayon Pack

Sugarfoot Rag Dolls

Pattycake Doll Company

Books for Children That Explore Diversity, Black History & Acceptance:

The Ultimate 2018 List of Diverse Books for Children (Here Wee Read is a great resource for books! Follow her Instagram!)

No White Saviors: Kids Books about Black Women in US History (Books For Littles)

Children’s Books by Brilliant Black Women: #OwnVoices Authors & Illustrators (Books for Littles)

Whose Toes Are Those? by Jabari Asim

Let’s Talk about Race by Julius Lester

Lovely by Jess Hong

Sugarplum Ballerinas by Whoopi Goldberg

A Roundup of Studies & Articles Cited above:

Three-Month-Olds, but Not Newborns, Prefer Own-Race Faces

Handbook of Race, Racism and the Developing Child

Developmental Psychopathology: Perspectives on Adjustment, Risk, and Disorder

The Development of Implicit Intergroup Cognition

How Kids Learn Prejudice

Even Babies Discriminate: A Natureshock Excerpt

This article was republished with permission from Katrina Michie.

A lifest‌yle writer whose work can be seen in Red Tricycle, Money.com, Livestrong.com and Redbook. When she’s not checking out new events, museums, and restaurants to keep her and her kids entertained, she can be found wandering around flea markets and thrift stores looking for cool vintage finds.

“Please don’t jump on the couch.”

“I told you not to jump on the couch.”

“STOP JUMPING ON THE COUCH! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!”

We set limits, and our children test them.

Conventional parenting advice says that it’s a children’s job to test our limits and that they’ll do this to find out how we’ll react. They want to find holes in our patience or our logic, and to check that we’re going to hold our limit. They are trying to establish a hierarchy of power in the relationship, and gain control of the situation.

And they are. If we view our relationship with our child as a zero-sum game, one person’s win has to be balanced by another person’s loss.  And if we aren’t the winner, then the alternative—that our child might have the upper hand—is too difficult to even imagine.

And if our goal is to make sure your children don’t get the upper hand, then we’ll always be in this struggle to make sure we’re on top.

We Feel Like We Need Control

At the root of these struggles is what feels like a need for control. And I say “feels like,” because any illusion that we have control over anything in our lives is exactly that: an illusion.

We feel like we control our schedules, our children’s activities, our finances. But if we think about it, actually very little of those things are under our control.  (Don’t think about it too long—it can be scary!)

Society tells us that it’s our job to be in control—we learned this from our parents (as well as school), and now we’re teaching it to our children by setting limits on their behavior.

But what if it didn’t have to be like this? What if we could not be in an antagonistic relationship with our children and also not have them constantly test us?

Most parents assume that the solution to children not listening (or deliberately ignoring) limits is, you guessed it, more limits. And stronger enforcement of limits. That when our children listen to us, we might be able to back off a little. Maybe.

The Solution Is Fewer Limits

Yes, I know it seems counterintuitive. If our children aren’t listening to us now, how could setting fewer limits possibly be the answer?

Because setting limits sets the tone of our relationship. And if our relationship is based on power, antagonism, and control, then our children will always try to get the upper hand. How could they not? They are learning from us that someone needs to have it, and the person who doesn’t have it gets walked all over, so they’d better at least give it a shot.

But if we set fewer limits, we set an entirely different tone.

A collaborative tone. A communicative tone. A tone that says: “Our relationship is the most important thing to me.”

So how do we set fewer limits without letting our kids walk all over us?

The key is to set limits that are grounded in your values. When you do this, your child hears in your voice that you’re serious. (You’ve noticed this before, right? When you say something that you believe in, and your child doesn’t protest?)

So you set limits on issues that are important to you—and the rest of them—you let go.

It’s not easy.

It’s a huge mindset shift, so I run a free workshop to help parents do it.

The strangest part about it all is that it doesn’t require us to get our children to do anything. We aren’t trying to change their behavior. We aren’t trying to control them, or win a battle over them. We’re finding a new way to be in a relationship with them that’s so much more peaceful and joyful and just plain fun!

And also, it’s easier than the other way. Because everyone could use some more easy in their life right now.

 

Feature photo: Pixel-Shot via Shutterstock

Jen Lumanlan fills the gaps in her parenting intuition through research, via a Master’s in Psychology (Child Development) and another in Education.  Her podcast, Your Parenting Mojo, provides rigorous yet accessible information on parenting and child development to help parents tame the overwhelm and raise resilient, thriving children.

Think all poetry has to rhyme? These inventive ways to teach kids about poetry are all about the free verse. All you need is imagination, a sense of humor and a few craft supplies. Read on for our four ways to teach your little bohemian the fine art of poetry.

cut up method of poetry collage
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

For the Baby Beatnik
Beat Generation writer William Burroughs’  “cut-up” method works strikingly well for the half-pint crowd. Think of it as a collage with words. Get out the safety scissors, grab some magazines and cut out words. You can also write words on paper and cut them out. Once you’ve got them cut up, toss them in the air. The order that they land in is the order you write down or recite.
Tip: Stick to words kids will recognize like animals and colors and don’t forget your articles (a, an, the) and conjunctions (and, but, if). Schoolhouse Rock flashbacks, anyone?

photo: Niall David Photography 

For the Nature Lover
If you prefer your poetry in the garden Emily Dickinson-style,  try rock art poetry. Using waterproof ink and stamps or paint or paint pens, write words or individual letters on smooth stones. Arrange the words into a simple verse. As an added bonus, you can rearrange it anytime.

kids books stack spine poetry
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

For the Aspiring Avant Garde
Book spine poetry is about as simple as they get and a great intro for kids to poetry. Just stack books spine out and recite. For example:

What am I?
My Father’s Dragon
Demolition
The Dark

For the Free-Lovin’ Free Verser
Elementary school teachers will tell you the secret to those adorable poems your kids bring home are based on this easy method known as cinquain (pronounced “sin-kane”). It’s a five-line poem, with a 1, 2, 3, 4, 1 sequence. There are variations on the method, but here’s one you can try with yours:

Line 1: one word, noun
Line 2: two words, adjectives to describe the noun in line 1
Line 3: three words, verbs that relate to line 1
Line 4: four words, feelings that relate to line 1 (make this one a complete sentence, e.g., “It makes me laugh.”)
Line 5: one word, noun/synonym for line 1

Example:

Rabbit
Fuzzy and white
Hopping, Sniffing, Hiding
How I Love You
Bunny

—Amber Guetebier; photos by Amber Guetebier except where noted.

Featured image: iStock 

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LEGO bricks are easily some of the best creative toys for kids of all ages, but they can be a pricey investment for those living on a tight budget. But thanks to an awesome initiative, LEGO Replay, all kids can get a chance to develop those important STEM skills, and not to mention enjoy hours of creative play with LEGO.

LEGO introduced a new give-back program called LEGO Replay back in Oct. 2019, which allows families to box up LEGO bricks they no longer want and send them to kids in need for free. The program has continued to run and give your LEGO bricks new life.

LEGO

All you have to do is visit www.lego.com/replay to print out a free UPS shipping label and ship it off for donation. Currently, the program only accepts: LEGO® System, DUPLO® and Technic™ Bricks and Elements from single or multiple sets, LEGO® Minifigures and Mini-dolls (no need to disassemble) and LEGO® Baseplates.

“We know people don’t throw away their LEGO bricks,” said Tim Brooks, Vice President, Environmental Responsibility at the LEGO Group. “The vast majority hand them down to their children or grandchildren. But others have asked us for a safe way to dispose of or to donate their bricks. With Replay, they have an easy option that’s both sustainable and socially impactful.”

LEGO

The bricks will be given to kids in need and distributed to Teach for America (nationwide) and Boys and Girls Club of Boston and Teach for America and currently, the program has received over 597,000 pounds!

“Learning through play can have a tremendous impact on a child’s cognitive development. Through play, children develop fine motor skills, think creatively, and can learn how to problem solve throughteamwork,” said Susan Asiyanbi, Teach For America’s chief operating and program officer. “But not everyone has access to such resources. LEGO Replay, and the instructional resources they provide educators, will help give more students access to this opportunity.”

—Shahrzad Warkentin& Karly Wood

All photos: Courtesy of LEGO

 

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