Of all the physical changes that women experience while pregnant, stretch marks are some of the most persistent (and annoying).

As an obstetrician and maternal mortality expert, I’ve delivered more than 6,000 babies over nearly four decades and have had the opportunity to see what really works (and doesn’t) when it comes to preventing and treating stretch marks, otherwise known as “striae.”

What Exactly Are Stretch Marks?

Stretch marks are long, thin scars that appear when your skin is stretched a great deal over a short period of time, such as when a woman’s belly grows during pregnancy. The stretching causes the collagen and elastin in your skin to rupture. Scars appear as your skin heals. These marks can be aggravating to those who are pregnant, but at the end of the day, they are only superficial and don’t have any health implications. However, there are things you may want to do to help fend them off and possibly even treat them.

Stretch marks appear at different times during pregnancy. Some may come at sixteen weeks, but most come between 20 to 25 weeks of gestation. These streaks on your skin are far from the worst thing people may experience during pregnancy, but nobody likes them.

When they first appear, stretch marks tend to be red, dark brown, reddish-brown, purple, or pink in color and may feel slightly raised. Over time, the color should fade and the scars sink beneath your skin.

Preventing & Treating Stretch Marks

When it comes to stretch marks, there are some things you can do to prevent and treat them, and some things you have no control over. For instance, the thin or thick nature of your skin comes with genetic makeup, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. If your mother had stretch marks, there’s a better chance that you will, too. However, there are some preventative measures you can take.

The one thing that I have found to be helpful in the prevention of stretch marks is exercise. Physical fitness is your best bet for keeping them at bay.

You can combat stretch marks by starting pregnancy at an appropriate weight and fitness level. The exercise will help distribute the size of the uterus, rather than have it hanging out front. Fit muscles will help distribute the challenges of gravity on a pregnant woman’s body. So, if you’re still in the pregnancy planning stage, now is a great time to start working out.

If you already have stretch marks, treating them is challenging, but not impossible.

Creams Are Not the Answer

Many people faithfully rub expensive creams or DIY concoctions on their bodies in an effort to erase the aggravating marks, but I have yet to see a topical treatment that works.

Instead of investing in cosmetics, I always suggest going back to exercise after the baby is born. While rubbing vitamin E and coconut butter on the skin are popular traditional treatments, they are not a substitute for the great circulation and taut skin that exercise and nutrition provide. Hydration is important too. Whatever exercise you were doing before pregnancy is something to continue while pregnant.

Be Gentle with Yourself

Though physical activity is important, I will caution women who weren’t exercising previously not to start exercising during pregnancy in order to prevent stretch marks. The marks may be irritating, but they are not worth putting your good health at risk, especially while you are pregnant. You can always dive into an exercise routine once you’ve had your baby.

Some stretch marks may be inevitable, but staying physically active and hydrated during and after pregnancy are the best preventative measures you can take to help fend them off.

Dr. Alan Lindemann
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

An obstetrician and maternal mortality expert, “Rural Doc” Alan Lindemann, M.D. teaches women and families how to create the outcomes they want for their own health and pregnancy. In nearly 40 years of practice, he has delivered around 6,000 babies and achieved a maternal mortality rate of zero! Visit LindemannMD.com

If you’re expecting twins, you may be wondering if there are certain considerations you need to be aware of that are different than those carrying singleton pregnancies. To help you address this, here are some common questions I hear from pregnant women expecting twins.

1. What are my delivery choices with twins? Is it possible to deliver without surgery?
In my experience, about 50 percent of twins are vertex/vertex (both head down) in the uterus. The next most common presentation is vertex/breech, with one baby head down and the other baby bottom down. The second baby can be delivered breech or turned by external cephalic version (ECV). Either option is reasonable. Twins can also both be breech, and I have delivered breech twins vaginally.  Of these three possible presentations, the breech/vertex position is considered a poor choice for a vaginal birth because of the chance of locking chins. The pregnant women I’ve treated have not exhibited this presentation, but the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends a C-section in such cases. So in most cases, yes — it is possible to deliver twins without a C-section, and even without an episiotomy.

2. How common is it to have one twin delivered vaginally and one by C-section?
I’ve often said that birthing the first twin vaginally and the second twin by C-section is the worst of both worlds. I have never done this procedure. Management of the second twin requires patience, discernment, judgment, and luck. Of these, patience is the most important. A new mom who has a combination vaginal/C-section delivery will be more tired and sore, and will need much support at home to avoid depression. Recovery time will also be longer, from 4 to 6 weeks. To avoid the vaginal/C-section combination delivery, new moms need to know their options and discuss them with their doctor. If your babies are not vertex/vertex (both head down), what is your obstetrician’s comfort level with managing the delivery?

PRO TIP: Dads can play a big part in post-partum support. In my experience, dads attending prenatal visits and classes are more able and willing to help out after delivery. The father of the quads I delivered took an active part in caring for his babies. He told me he figured out that he changed 7000 diapers per month! Now that’s dedication and commitment.

3. What unique aspects of being pregnant with twins should I be aware of in each trimester?
First trimester: Nausea, lack of interest in food, and risk of miscarriage are all higher during the first trimester.
Second trimester: Risk of preterm cervical dilation and hypertension increase in trimester two.
Third trimester: When pregnant with twins, preterm delivery is common in trimester three. With twins, 38 weeks is considered term.

4. Does giving birth to multiples lead to higher postpartum baby blues, depression, or psychosis?
A multiple pregnancy can have everything a single pregnancy can have, and have more of it. So yes, more baby blues, more depression, and for some, more post-partum psychosis are possible. Dads are most important. They are most available to help. Stay in touch with your care provider and ensure you have a strong support system of friends and family in place for the first few months after you give birth—especially those first few weeks.

5. Can you share tips for nursing twins?
First off, know that nursing twins can absolutely be done. Most often, nursing is simultaneous and each baby gets one breast. Nursing is wonderfully adaptive. The babies can be held like a football under each arm, with the head on the breast and the body and legs to the mother’s sides and back. Most importantly, don’t worry! About the only thing that wrecks nursing is worrying and thinking you can’t. If you think it can’t happen, it won’t. Until your milk production catches up, you may need to top off the twins’ feedings with formula. Please do not worry when providing your twins with a little formula. You are not bad or inferior. Your babies must eat and gain weight.

6. Giving birth to one baby carries some risks for mother and child. Are those risks the same when giving birth to twins?
Giving birth to twins offers more risks for everything. But in my experience, it’s not twice as much risk.

PRO TIP: Don’t smoke!!!

7. Can I maintain my pre-pregnancy exercise regimen when pregnant with twins? What modifications should I make, if any?
Maintaining your pre-pregnancy exercise program depends upon what your  pre-pregnancy program was. I would avoid running five miles daily—or even one mile daily. Yoga would be better.

8. Do I need to eat more when pregnant with twins than I would with a singular pregnancy?
Although we kow the optimum weight gain for singleton pregnancies, less is known about multiples. My experience with twins indicates you should eat about 50 percent more than with single pregnancies, but not twice as much. Certainly you need the maternal volume increase, which will be about four pounds a month. There will be more amniotic fluid, more blood volume, more placenta, and more baby.

9. What should I do in terms of self-care when pregnant with twins?
Set your mind at ease by learning more about what it means to carry, birth, and raise twins. The more knowledgeable you feel, the more you will be able to advocate for yourself with your care providers, and navigate all the unique realities that having twins will present to you.

All pregnancies require an increased level of care and attention from expectant mothers. Carrying twins simply means a slightly higher level of due diligence on your part to protect your health and your babies’ health during pregnancy, delivery, and especially during their first few months of life.

Stay in touch with your care provider through each step of your journey, and don’t hesitate to ask these and other questions to help you incorporate the information into your unique pregnancy and birthing experience.

FUN FACT: With deliveries on one side of midnight and one on the other, I have had twins deliver on separate days, separate months, and even separate years (New Year’s Eve / New Year’s Day)!

Dr. Alan Lindemann
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

An obstetrician and maternal mortality expert, “Rural Doc” Alan Lindemann, M.D. teaches women and families how to create the outcomes they want for their own health and pregnancy. In nearly 40 years of practice, he has delivered around 6,000 babies and achieved a maternal mortality rate of zero! Visit LindemannMD.com

Becoming a stay at home mom is no easy task.

I went from working six, 10-hour days a week to being a stay at home mom. I loved my job as a manager of a restaurant. Having that job for years I was constantly busy and was used to that lifestyle. However, due to the start of the COVID pandemic, and being four months pregnant, I was unexpectedly laid off. I did not expect the transition to be as difficult as it was.

At first, it was okay. I was pregnant. I was tired and due to medical conditions, I had doctor appointments twice a week for my second and third trimester. So not having to reschedule or miss out on work to make these appointments was a positive thing. I was able to sleep whenever I wanted (which being pregnant was awesome!). My fiance worked harder than ever to make up for the lack of income. I thought once I had the baby, I would return to work. 

Once our bundle of joy came, we made the decision that I would stay at home with the baby for at least a year. It has been five months of being a full-time stay at home mom. It is the hardest, most rewarding job I have ever had.

All you might hear is how great being a stay at home mom is. Well, if I am being honest, I still have a hard time. Selfish is how I feel writing that. But the transition from working full-time to being at home with a baby is difficult. Being in a pandemic does not help at all.

Honestly, I am tired and that is okay. Being tired was something I was not expecting because I was constantly on the go while working.  I am still surprised at the never-ending tasks of being a mother and taking care of a household. Cleaning, cooking, getting pooped on and the always shocking throw up are just the beginning of all of my days. Every night is always a tale of unexpected events with a newborn.

To each and every mom (and dad) whether you work or solely stay at home with the kids, you rock! We do not get the credit we deserve (especially from our kids). This “job” is never-ending but is amazing and rewarding! I was never expecting to be a stay at home mom. Even though I can tell you a bunch of reasons why I am tired, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel blessed to be a stay at home mom.

 

 

Hi! I'm Carolyn Erickson! I am from Wisconsin and mother of a beautiful baby girl. I'm a new stay at home mom and I am loving it. I also am beginning my career as a freelance writer and blogger!

 

Christine Hernandez

Christine Hernandez is a Mama on a mission to help other Mama's find their village and get the support they need to thrive.

The moment I saw that positive pregnancy test for the first time the part of me that wasn’t terrified went into instant Mama Bear mode. I wanted to make sure I ate all the right things, took the right supplements but what I didn’t realize was that what I was putting ON my body was just as important as what I was putting IN my body and my personal care products needed a little bit of a change up.

I used The Environmental Working Group’s (ewg..org) searchable database to check how the ingredients in the products I was using measured up against their safety guidelines and I was surprised at what I found. It took a little of combing through the shelves at Target and some trial and error to find things that were both clean AND effective but once I found these five staples, I have never gone back to my old stuff.


1

Mineral Salt Crystal Deodorant

Crystal Deodorant- Your Pits Will Thank You

$6.37

In my 20's I had a swollen lymph node under my arm for two years. It was so big that you could see it when I wore tank tops and it made my armpit look weird. I went to numerous doctors until one suggested I stop using deodorant. Unwilling to just wear NOTHING, I scoured the healthfood store shelves and this Crystal's claim of being amazing intrigued me. It is literally just mineral salts and you wet it and rub it on your pits and go about your business smelling fresher than a daisy without any nasty chemicals. Five years later, that lymph node is no longer swollen and I will never use conventional deodorant again (and I don't smell, you can ask my hubs).

BUY NOW

2

Beautycounter Skintwin Creamy Concealer

I Got 99 Problems- But Dark Eye Circles Ain't One

$31

The third trimester definitely prepares you for life with a newborn (hello 3am insomnia) and I was super thankful to have Beautycounter's Skin Twin Creamy Concealer to slather under my eyes to make me feel a bit more human. It comes in 13 shades and contains responsibly sourced ingredients that not only conceal dark circles and blemishes but work to improve overall skintone- without the use of questionable ingredients or animal testing.

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3

Belli Acne Control Spot Treatment

Banish Those Pregnancy Pimples Safely

$16.99

Most over the counter acne treatments contain salicylic acid, which some providers advise against use during pregnancy. Belli Acne Control Spot Treatment features colloidal sulfur, tea tree oil and chamomile that absorbs quickly and penetrates pores to help control blemishes and keep skin clear. It does not include glycolic acid, salicylic acid, or benzoyl peroxide, common acne-fighting ingredients that can over dry or irritate the skin and are not recommended during pregnancy. Every Belli product is allergy tested, free of paraben preservatives, gluten, phthalates, and artificial dyes or fragrances and is approved by OBGYN's & dermatologists. I was one of the (un)lucky ones who's pregnancy glow faded into pregnancy pimples and Belli was my go-to!

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4

SheaMoisture Daily Hydration Body Oil

Rub That Belly, Baby

$9.99

There is some evidence that whether or not you get stretch marks is hereditary but that did not stop me from slathering my belly with this oil on the daily. Did I get stretch marks, no. Do I know for sure it was because I used this oil, also no. But, it was nice to take some time every night to rub my belly and connect with the tiny person growing inside. It doesn't contain any sulfates, parabens, phthalates, mineral oil, or petroleum and is cruelty free!

BUY NOW

5

Beautycounter Dew Skin Tinted Moisturizer

Seriously The Only Face Product You Need

$45 BUY NOW

I have never been one to like the feeling of foundation on my face but Dew Skin is makeup with the feeling of a moisturizer plus- it has SPF. On my most exhausted of days, I can take five seconds to rub some Dew Skin on my face and BOOM- I am out the door. It features a blend of black currant seed oil, peony root extract, and vitamin C to help brighten while leaving skin looking radiant and non-nano zinc oxide, a mineral sunscreen that is coral safe. Like all of Beautycounter's products, it's free from over 1800 harmful chemicals, never tested on animals and ethically and sustainably sourced.

It’s here! The third trimester of my second pregnancy has arrived. I am so grateful my baby boy is healthy and growing like a weed. In a short twelvish weeks, I will get to meet him for the first time and kiss his fat little adorable face. In the meantime, I am enjoying feeling him kick and move around in my ever-growing belly. And with a growing belly comes a growing me, an everything growing me.

It’s so weird, but it’s like someone flipped a switch on the first day of the third trimester. I feel more pregnant, more tired, more moody, more hungry and more ready than ever to meet my tiny little human. With that said, I have had some major third-trimester failures. I thought I would share. They may make your life a little easier one day.

Don’t cry because you grew cankles overnight. I woke up this morning and realized that my legs resembled stumps with feet on the end. I put on a knee-length dress with flats and made the mistake of looking in a full-length mirror. Nothing makes you feel less attractive than not being able to tell where your calf stops and your ankle starts. I miss you, ankles, come back soon. Please.

Don’t examine your stretch marks and cry again. Stretch marks happen. There is no secret cream that keeps them away. I didn’t get them until 36 weeks with my first pregnancy. This time, they were out in full force from the beginning. They will fade with time, and until then, I will wear them with pride. Those stretch marks came from growing a tiny human, and that’s pretty freaking awesome.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. When I found out I was pregnant, my husband and I decided that we should get our kitchen remodel done before the baby arrived. Well, it has gotten pushed back a few times and won’t start until May 1st. I am due mid-July. Fingers crossed that I don’t have construction workers welcoming me home from the hospital. Remodels never take longer than expected, right?

Don’t feel bad for forgetting things. Baby brain is real. They did a scientific study showing it exists! I am normally on top of my game when it comes to remembering things and multitasking like a freaking champ. But the last seven months have been crazy hard. I forget things, don’t remember what I am supposed to be doing in the middle of a task and lose concentration easily. I have been really hard on myself, but you know what, this too will pass. I am just hoping I don’t drive away with Henry’s favorite blankie on the back of the car again.

Don’t feel guilty for napping. Growing a human is hard work, people. You deserve a nap! Or ten!

Always have snacks available. Hangry has taken on a new meaning the last couple weeks. Throw some granola bars and a cheeseburger in your purse in case of emergency. Along with a bottle of Tums. You never know how long a meeting may last. Better safe than sorry.

Make sure your toddler is ready for the new babyHahahaha! This could be a real disaster. I had an amazing plan that I would have my two-year-old potty trained by the time baby #2 comes. Except that he shows zero interest in using the potty. Having two kids in diapers isn’t that expensive, right? This is me praying for a potty-training miracle.

Don’t feel bummed when none of your clothes fit. Even my maternity clothes are starting to feel too tight. I went through my entire wardrobe the other morning and could not find a single top that fit over my large belly. Then I had a genius idea. I wore what used to be a knee-length dress as a top. I even got a compliment saying it was a cute outfit. I did wear a cardigan over the top/dress because it was a little tight here and there, but in the words of Tim Gunn, I made it work. I will be winning no fashion awards in the next couple of months and plan to wear only black maxi dresses that hide my cankles.

Don’t weigh yourself! You have to see it every time you go to the doctor. Don’t make it even worse by weighing yourself at home. It’s going to go up. A lot. That’s just the way it is. Enjoy your tacos and give yourself a break.

Don’t try to wear cute heels, even if just for a short amount of time. I tried it. I was miserable. I ended up walking around barefoot after about twenty minutes. I don’t care if you think heels make your cankles look less cankle-ish. You will hate your life.

The third trimester is tough. Don’t beat yourself up over things that are out of your control. This too shall pass and life will be back to (maybe) normal soon!

Until next time, Jamie

This post originally appeared on Hashtag MomFail by Jamie Johnson.

I am a full time working mom with two little boys, Henry and Simon. I write about real life and real life gets messy. Contributor for Motherly, HuffPost Parents, Scary Mommy, Today Parents, Love What Matters and Her View From Home. 

Staying active while pregnant is great for both you and your baby’s health. Whether it be yoga classes, light lifting, or taking walks, any exercise that gets your heart pumping is a fantastic addition to your daily pregnancy routine and a great way to stay healthy. Jaime McFaden, a mom and trainer with audio fitness app Aaptiv, is sharing the various ways you can stay active during and after your pregnancy.

Consistent exercise during pregnancy has countless benefits, including improving your overall health, reducing your risk of weight gain, and can even facilitate a smoother delivery process. However, it’s always most important to listen to your body and base your workouts on how you—and your baby—are feeling. Each pregnancy is different, and there are no hard and fast rules on what you should be doing during each step of your pregnancy.

With that being said, here is a great general guide of the best exercises for pregnant and postpartum women. I suggest trying these out and seeing how your body reacts—every pregnancy is unique, after all.

Workouts by Trimester

Before beginning any exercise, especially while pregnant, be sure to get clearance from your doctor. Additionally, you should be adapting your workout routine based on the trimester you are in. Each trimester comes with its own challenges, so adjusting your workout based on how your body is growing and changing is a necessity.

First Trimester

During the first trimester, women are usually feeling totally normal or like complete crap. The first trimester can be awful for some women, so be sure to listen to how your body is feeling and not to push it too hard. Jaime recommends low-intensity cardio and light strength training. If you didn’t work out regularly before pregnancy, it is essential to ease yourself into an exercise regimen to prevent overworking yourself.

Second Trimester

During the second trimester, Jaime suggests keeping your workouts at an intensity level of 60-70% and warns against pushing your body too hard. Full-body workouts like yoga are a great option during this trimester, as opposed to targeting specific muscle groups with strength training. As your body begins to change more, it’s essential to create a workout routine that is adaptable and sustainable for you.

Third Trimester

The third trimester sometimes feels like it’s never going to end, but don’t worry—you’re in the home stretch! This trimester is when your body is being constantly stretched and pushed, and many expectant moms are feeling especially tired. If you aren’t feeling up for exercise, that’s totally OK! However, if you still want to get your heart pumping, walking, swimming, and other low-intensity exercises like water aerobics are all great options.

Postpartum Exercises 

Congratulations on welcoming your new baby into your life! After giving birth, doctors advise against exercising for at least 6-8 weeks. During this time, you can focus on letting your body rest and bonding with your new baby. When you’re feeling comfortable enough, be sure to gradually ease back into exercise by making an effort to move a little every day until you’re feeling up for more.

When you’re starting out exercising again, it’s important to do kegel exercises. Your pelvic floor muscles are weakened during birth, and doing kegel exercises afterward is helpful to strengthen them and prevent incontinence. Kegel exercises may feel more difficult at first, but don’t worry—this is completely normal. In time, everything will start feeling normal again.

Low-impact activities like walking, swimming, yoga, and water aerobics are all great options for postpartum moms to ease back into exercising. Just remember, there is no secret formula for postpartum moms—the best workout is the one that works for you!

Additionally, working on your core strength postpartum is helpful for a quicker recovery. Regaining your core strength and stability is a long process that takes time and patience. It’s suggested to avoid core exercises where you are twisting or laying on your back, like crunches. Some wonderful options include raised leg extensions, the yoga boat, and leg and arm extensions.

 

Sierra Skelly is a creative writer and marketer from San Diego. She loves making personal finance and career content fun. When she isn't writing for companies like Haven Life, you can find her reading at the beach or hiking.

As it turns out, a cry isn’t just a cry. Researcher Dr. Kathleen Wermke has spent her career studying if babies cry in different languages—and according to her data, they certainly do!

In Würzburg University Clinic’s Center for Pre-Speech Development and Developmental Disorders Wermke studies babies first sounds. The biologist/medical anthropologist now has an archive filled with nearly half a million recordings of babies from around the globe. She uses these to analyze how infants acquire and use language.

photo: Bingo Theme via Pexels

So how do babies from different areas of the world cry differently? According to Wermke, infants with mothers who speak tonal types of languages (such as Mandarin) have complex cries. In comparison, Swedish newborns have sing-song-like cries.

Wermke told The New York Times, “Babies come to language through musical elements, through hearing the intonation of their mother tongue.”

When it comes to the how’s behind these language-based differences, researchers believe “prosody” is a major cause. Prosody, the rhythm and melody of the mother’s voice, is heard by the third trimester of pregnancy. This is the infant’s first experience with language and may account for the complexity, pitch and tonal differences babies exhibit when they cry and start to make their first sounds.

—Erica Loop

 

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Can I give you the best advice I have on childbirth? Be prepared for anything. Anything. Don’t be like me. I was so naïve thinking that I could take a few classes and that would fully prepare me. My biggest concern was the pain and I was ready for the challenge. I took the classes. I read the books. Worst case scenario, I’d need a little pain meds, but that wasn’t the end of the world. Oh, Shannon.

Don’t get me wrong. You are obviously going to plan for your delivery, and by all means, take any classes that are offered. Knowledge is power. But there’s a really good chance that, if you’re like me, things go very differently from how you planned, and that’s okay. For starters, I was ten days late. Ten days! Which, to a woman at the end of her third trimester, is like a thousand years. It felt like the movie Groundhog Day, where each day I woke up the same way, shocked I hadn’t gone into labor overnight.

I finally went into labor on my own the night before I was scheduled to be induced. It was intense and made me nauseated, and I felt completely out of control. Hours passed and it was finally time to push. They had to tell me that because I got the epidural, duh. After three unsuccessful hours trying to push out my firstborn, I was wheeled in for an emergency c-section. Let me tell you, a c-section was the furthest thing from my mind. I distinctly remember one of the childbirth prep classes tried to prepare me for something like this. The exercise was to lay out cards with different scenarios as you would ideally like your labor and delivery to go. Then, one of the other couples in class would reach over and flip some cards over to throw a wrench at you. Apparently, this still didn’t register with me at the time.

I never thought a c-section was going to be necessary for my daughter’s delivery. After all, my mom birthed four children naturally, why wouldn’t I? I was not prepared to have my birth story go this way and it really bothered me. Not only did I feel like I had been hit by a freight train after the hours I spent enduring labor, but I felt like I had been robbed of the joy of birth. Obviously, I was excited to meet my daughter and I recovered just fine from the surgery, but it still bothers me to think about.

When we got pregnant with our second, I was determined to be more in control of her delivery. We decided to work with a doula, which was the best decision we could have made. I felt much more prepared and optimistic, but I also knew that a c-section was quite possible this time around. Fortunately, I was able to have a successful VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) and I felt so empowered. It was such a different delivery for us and all around a very positive experience. In hindsight, I would have worked with a doula with my first, but I think so few women would feel this necessary their first go-round. I don’t even think I knew what a doula was back then.

Finally, with our third, I assumed we would have another successful VBAC. For some reason I had started to feel kind of fearful of delivering, probably from some scary stuff I read. When we were at the doctors for an early sonogram, they discovered I had very slight placenta previa. (This is when the placenta partially covers the cervix.) It felt like my fears were totally coming true. Everyone I talked to assured me it would probably resolve by the time his due date arrived. Apparently, they often do. For us, later ultrasounds confirmed it did not resolve entirely and a c-section may be required. While I was able to attempt another natural delivery, we ultimately made the decision fairly early on in my delivery to have a c-section. I was experiencing some bleeding and I was feeling so fearful about it I couldn’t focus on labor. Partly because it wasn’t an emergency, and partly because I was older and wiser, the surgery was not nearly as devastating to me this time around. My recovery physically was much smoother than my first c-section and I knew our family was complete.

Hopefully your labor is exactly how you envisioned, or better. I know women who practically sneeze out their babies, so maybe that will be you. I also know women who have lost babies and who have delivered babies far before their due date. Childbirth is such a miracle, and each child such a blessing, but that doesn’t mean you have to be happy about the way everything happened. Every pregnancy and every delivery can be so vastly different, even for the same woman. So, as best you can, be open to what your body and your baby are going to require of you. You really never know how it is going to go until it’s over.

Hi! I'm Shannon. I am a blessed wife and mama who gets to stay at home to care for three babes, 7, 4, and 7 months. I am always looking to learn and I love to write! 

Photo: iStockphoto

It was my first day at my new job.

I was so nervous that I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I had taken a hiatus from working when we moved across the country, and I had gotten comfortable with the stay-at-home mom life. But with my son at school full-time, it was time for me to return to the workforce and help out with the family finances.

Oh wait, did I mention I was pregnant? And that my boss had no clue?

Argh. The guilt. During the interview, I had an internal battle of epic proportions in my head on whether or not to reveal my pregnancy. I was about three months pregnant at the time so I looked like I might have eaten a little too much for lunch, but my pregnant belly wasn’t immediately obvious. So it’s up to me to tell the interviewers about my pregnancy.

The law says they are not supposed to ask, and I am not obligated to tell. But I felt so dishonest like I was lying by omission. I wanted this job badly because it offered flexible hours so I could pick up my son from school. Plus, I was running out of time—I was about to start on a job when I was in my third trimester and could barely apply what I learned in my training before going on maternity leave. In the end, my fear that my pregnancy would deter the company from hiring me trumped my guilt, and I kept my mouth shut.

But maybe I shouldn’t have.

Oh wait, did I mention that this was a vape company?

As I stepped into the building on my first day of work, I was met by a cloud of smoke. There was so much smoke in the air that I had trouble seeing through it. Then I realized what was happening. O.M.G. They allow vaping inside the building! And EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE vaped. All except me.

I immediately ran out of the building like a bat out of hell, drawing curious and surprised looks from everyone I passed on the way out. I called my manager from outside the building, and the following conversation ensued:

Me: “Good morning! Do you mind meeting me outside the front door?”

Manager: “Why? Are the doors locked?”

Me: “No, no, I just need to talk to you about something.”

Manager: “Oh, just come to my office! Do you know where it is?”

Me: “I can’t go inside the building. Can you come out?”

Manager: “What? Why? Are you okay?”

Me: “I am pregnant.”

Manager: “OH…CRAP. I mean, wow. Stay outside. I will call you right back.”

I waited in my car anxiously for my manager’s call. I saw him run across the first floor from his office to the CEO’s office, face full of panic. Aw man, am I fired for not telling them I am pregnant? They can’t do that, can they? But how can I work in a building full of vape cloud that contains nicotine and risk harm to my baby?

After what seemed like forever (but in reality probably 30 minutes or so), my manager came out of the building with the CEO of the company. They politely asked me to go home and work from there, and not to return to the office until further notice.

For the next several days, I “worked” from home. Well, not really. I mean, I didn’t even step foot into my office yet, what work did I possibly have to do? I tried to learn as much as I could at home, but in the back of my head, I was mentally preparing to lose a job that I never really had.

My decision to not tell my hiring manager about my pregnancy during the interview kept replaying in my head. I was more than qualified for the job, and I blew the interview out of the water. Despite it being a vape company, I did not see any indication of employees vaping indoors during my interview. And as much as people are not supposed to discriminate against pregnant women, I felt like the fact that I will be taking care of a newborn within months of starting my job would have played into the hiring decision. How could it not?

At the end of the day, every day, I would get a call from my manager asking me to stay at home one more day. The top management was still discussing my case and hadn’t made a final decision yet. Lots of meetings were being held, and they had to call in the employment lawyer. Apparently, I was the first pregnant woman they ever had to deal with in the workplace so finding out I was pregnant was mind-blowing. I felt so bad that my pregnancy was turning the company upside down, but, hey, I did not expect to walk into a building full of vape cloud either.

Finally, after five days of deliberation, the management made a decision. I was told to come back to work the following Monday, but with no explanations. “Don’t worry, you will be fine,” was all I got from my manager.

So on Monday, I packed my lunch and drove to work. I carefully walked into the office, afraid to expose my baby to any more nicotine. But the air was clear. No vape cloud. What happened?

My manager pulled me into his office and told me to shut the door. He said to me in a hushed tone: “Management decided to ban vaping inside the building. We didn’t tell the employees why, so you don’t have to worry about people blaming you. We just told them that it was an executive decision that came down from the CEO to make the workplace more professional for our customers. And do not feel guilty about this, we have been tossing the idea of banning vaping inside the office for a while now. We value your work experience and your talent and if it takes banning vaping for you to come work for us, then so be it.”

Huh. Perhaps there is hope for humanity after all.

Betty Boiron is a mother of two who strives to inspire other moms to embrace motherhood as the hot mess it is. When she is not busy chasing after her kids or digging herself out of piles of laundry, you can find her writing on her blog Mombrite.

 

One thing that helps with the stress of a new pregnancy is knowing you have the products you need to help you through the next nine months and beyond. Find out what to expect and what to buy with this pregnancy buying guide that includes the very important fourth trimester! Here’s our list of essential items you can rely on through each stage of your pregnancy so you can rest easier as you prepare for your little one’s arrival.

1st Trimester

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From alleviating morning sickness to a tip on how to keep your favorite jeans on rotation, here are a few things to help get you through your first few months of pregnancy. 

Preggie Pop Drops
Morning sickness affects more than half of pregnant women. The nausea-causing illness, which is usually the worst between weeks 6 and 12, can be caused by a variety of factors, such as hormonal changes, low blood sugar, vitamin deficiencies, stress, fatigue and general anxiety. Preggie Pop Drops are a natural supplement that ease the symptoms of morning sickness. They come in tasty flavors like green apple, sour raspberry, and sour tangerine. If the pops don't do the trick, some pregnant women swear by Sea-Band accupressure wrist bands to get them through the roughest days. 

The Bellaband
Even though most people probably won't know you're pregnant, there will come a time in the first weeks or months of pregnancy that you feel like you're popping out of your pants. It's this exact moment that inspired an invention many pregnant mommas list as one of their die-hard maternity essentials. The Bellaband by Ingrid and Isabel lets you stay in your favorite pre-pregnancy jeans for longer without sacrificing comfort. The greatest part is it works for every trimester, including the post-pregnancy fourth one: You can use it to hold up maternity pants that are now big on you or keep up pre-pregnancy jeans that are still too tight.

Mayo Clinic Pregnancy Guide
One of the coolest things about the first trimester is that so much is happening under that burgeoning bump. The easiest way to learn about your baby's week-to-week growth is with the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. This illustrated book offers advice, meal-planning tips, healthy exercise options and much more. It's a great reference tool for each stage of your pregnancy.

2nd Trimester

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Congratulations! You made it through the first three months and are on to what some call the "honeymoon trimester." If you experienced morning sickness, it has more than likely subsided, and you should be feeling more energetic during the second semester, so this is a good time to focus more on other areas of self-care. 

Soma Glass Water Bottle
Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. That's the name of the game in the second trimester. Sometimes drinking from a pretty bottle makes it easier to do and remember. Our favorite is the Soma Glass Water Bottle, which comes in a variety of colors. Made from high-quality, shatter-resistant glass with an easy-grip protective sleeve, it’s perfectly designed to fit into your bag, your cup holder, and your lifemaking it easy to drink up!

Mio Skin Care
Trimester two lasts from the week 14 to the end of week 28, and your baby grows a LOT during this time. By the end of the 2nd trimester, baby will be the size of a butternut squash (check out how big your baby is each week). That means your body is changing and your skin can take the brunt of all this growth. Your stomach needs to expand and you may also be dealing with pesky breakouts from hormonal shifts. Mio Skin Care's second trimester bundle includes everything you need to keep your belly, breasts and face moisturized and glowing. 

Erin Baker's Breakfast Cookies
In addition to the extra energy you'll be enjoying in the second trimester, you'll probably notice something else: You're starving, like all the time! Carrying Erin Baker's breakfast cookies with you to ensure you don't get hangry is a life-saver. They come in a variety of flavors (double chocolate, peanut butter, carrot cake, oatmeal raisin, and more) and are perfect for the morning or mid-day when you need a satisfying snack to keep you going. 

3rd Semester

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You're in the homestretch! That's good to remember because the third trimester can get a little uncomfortable. You may experience pelvic pressure, back aches and have more trouble sleeping with your growing baby wriggling and working its way to full-term. Here are some essentials to get you to the finish line. 

 

4th Trimester

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You've done it! In the last nine months, you've created a new life. Considering that growing your baby didn't happen overnight, recovering from childbirth doesn't either. Often considered the fourth trimester, the 12-14 weeks post-delivery is a very special (and intense!) time. Here are some products to help make this final trimester more bearable. 

The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide
Equally as important as the guides about pregnancy are the books about when your baby arrives. The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions and Restoring Your Vitality supports women though postpartum healing on physical, emotional and spiritual levels and provides a roadmap to this important transition in a new mother's life. 

Blackout Curtains
You probably already know this, but the one thing you'll crave more than anything else during those first few months after your baby is born is sleep. That's why hanging blackout curtains in your room, where you and baby will probably be spending a lot of time, is key for better rest. 

Booby Tubes
The name sounds funny, but trust us: These are a lifesaver for breastfeeding discomfort in the first few months after childbirth. Booby Tubes are clever little, gel-free breast packs made with an organic cotton shell and filled with fresh, pliable flaxseed. They can be heated or cooled depending on what you find most soothing. Try heat to avoid clogged ducts and encourage milk flow, and use cold to reduce tenderness. 

— Aimee Della Bitta

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