This time of year can be overwhelming for everyone. And being a separated or divorced mom can create a whole new set of challenges you never could’ve anticipated. Deep breath.This does get easier, I promise. Especially if you keep in mind these tips on how to navigate the holidays with kids…

Tip #1: When in doubt, stick to your parenting plan.

It’s easy to veer off schedule. Even your lawyer said it’s just a “fall-back,” right? Listen, being flexible is great when it’s a two-way street that works for everyone. But sometimes too much flexibility can actually add to your stress instead of taking it away. The more you venture off your plan, the more you’ll need to think about it, and the more room there’ll be for disagreements with your ex (“I said you can have them back to me on the 26th, not the 27th!”).

By sticking to your parenting plan from the get-go, you eliminate the risk of confusion. It may not be perfect, but it is reliable.

If you don’t have a parenting plan in place yet, use the standard parenting holiday schedule in your state or county as your go-by. If you don’t know where to find the plan for your area, call the clerk of your local court.

Tip #2: Remember that it comes out in the wash.

While this isn’t true with all parenting time, it should be with an alternating holiday schedule. Upset that he has the kids the first part of the break? Fair enough, especially if they’re little. But that also means it’s your turn next year. And if you don’t have a parenting order in place yet, keep track— in writing—of how you handled the dates this year, so you can make sure to set up next year accordingly.

We say this a lot at DIGC: Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. And it calls on a whole different type of strength. If you can stay focused and concentrate on the bigger picture instead of what’s happening right now, it’ll help you see that over the long haul, you’re each going to have the same amount of holiday time.

Moms of young children, we know this is an especially hard time for you. You’ve been with your kids on the first day of Kwanzaa, the last night of Hanukkah, or Christmas morning every year until now. It’s incredibly tough to miss this special time with them. Just do your best to remember that the holidays are about celebrating with your loved ones. The actual dates on which you do it aren’t as important as the fact that you’re celebrating.

Tip #3: Put yourself in your child’s shoes.

It’s easy to get caught up in the unfairness of having to miss out on any time with your children over the holidays. It’s also easy to get bent out of shape about whether the exchange on Christmas Eve will take place at 4 or 5 o’clock. If you were to ask your child what’s worrying her about your family holiday plan, you’re likely to hear something like “I just want to know where I’m waking up Christmas morning” or “I’m worried Santa won’t know which house to go to.”

Kids want consistency. They want to know the plan. (And they want to know that you’ve shared the plan with Santa!). They also take their cues from you. If you’re noticeably upset or unraveled by the schedule, they will be, too.

Friend, give yourself permission to make mistakes along the way. One thing I do know for sure: There is actually a learning curve here, and it does get easier as the years progress. Remember you’re not alone. You’re in good company.

This post originally appeared on Divorce in Good Company.

Divorce in Good Company is a female-focused digital destination dedicated to helping women survive and thrive as they go through divorce. Our vision is to rebrand divorce and dramatically improve the lives of women going through it. We help women find answers, stay positive, and be good to themselves!

Winter break is just around the corner, which means you’re probably looking for something to keep the kids entertained indoors. The new Monopoly Longest Game Ever will keep the whole family busy for… well, ever.

Monopoly just released two new ways to play the iconic game generations have grown up on. The new Monopoly Longest Game Ever is tailor-made for those hours-to-kill snow days. The game board features 66 properties with three versions of each one. It only has one die instead of two, which means it takes even longer to make it around the game board.

photo: Amazon

Even the game pieces are “slower” in the forms of things like a tortoise. The biggest change of all to this new version is that the only way to win is by owning every single property.

photo: Amazon

While an epic Monopoly day marathon is something your family won’t soon forget, there is also a new Monopoly game made for those with a need for speed. Monopoly Speed is the exact opposite of Monopoly Longest Game Ever. It offers the fastest way to play this classic board game.

photo: Target

This new edition is so speedy that the entire game can be played in just ten minutes. The perfect way to play for those who don’t like to sit still for long.

photo: Target

Both games have a suggested retail price of $19.99. While Monopoly Speed is available at Target, Monopoly Longest Game Ever is an Amazon exclusive and currently out of stock. If you have patience enough to play, however, you might just be able to wait until the game comes back in stock.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

 

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Fans of the annual Thanksgiving weekend Harry Potter televised film fest can rejoice! Muggles and the magical alike can enjoy the former Freeform marathon on USA Network this year.

After leaving Freeform in 2017, the Wizarding World Thanksgiving weekend marathon moved over to the SyFy channel for the 2018 season. According to recent reports, this year’s schedule of the entire library of on-screen adaptations, plus Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, will air on USA from Thursday Nov. 28 through Saturday Nov. 30.

So when can you watch your favorite Potter films on the small screen? The Thanksgiving marathon schedule includes:

Thursday, Nov. 28

9 a.m.—Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them
11:52 a.m.—Harry Potter & The Sorcerer’s Stone
3:19 p.m.—Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets
7 p.m.—Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban

Friday, Nov. 29

6:30 a.m.—Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets
10:11 a.m.—Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban
1:10 p.m.—Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire
4:35 p.m.—Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix
7:35 p.m.—Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince

Saturday, Nov. 30

10:30 a.m.—Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix
1:31 p.m.—Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince
4:48 p.m.—Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, Part 1
8:10 p.m.—Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, Part 2

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Harry Potter via YouTube

 

 

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If you like decking the front yard with all the holiday inflatables then you’ll want to shop Home Depot’s Christmas collection where you’ll find plenty of joyful cheer inspired by your favorite movies and characters.

From A Christmas Story to Star Wars, Home Depot has a massive selection of movie-themed holiday inflatables to choose from. Here are a few of our favorites.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation RV

You are going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas with this hilarious inflatable.

$199

Inflatable AT-AT

Even the Dark Side needs to get festive sometimes with this Christmas light adorned AT-AT.

$149

Ralphie's Fuzzy Pink Bunny

If you can't let a single holiday season pass without watching the Christmas Story marathon, then this giant inflatable is for you.

$119

Olaf and Sven

Fans of Frozen 2 will love dressing up the front lawn with this lovable pair.

$149

Woody and Slinky Dog

This cowboy and his trusty sidekick are the perfect duo to spread some holiday cheer.

$129

Merry Grinch-mas

You're heart will grow three sizes larger with this grinchy inflatable on your lawn.

$129

—Shahrzad Warkentin

All photos: Home Depot

 

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Long Island mama Molly Waitz just showed the world that mothers can do just about anything. The 27-year-old recently ran the New York City Marathon—and pumped the whole way through!

The avid runner raced for First Candle, a nonprofit committed to ending SIDS. Even though Waitz is a new mom––her son Bode is eight-months-old––she didn’t want feeding her baby to stop her from running the 26.2-mile race.

So what does a new mom do when she needs to nurse, but also wants to run a couple dozen miles? If you’re Waitz, you pop the hands-free Willow Pump into your bra and ready, set…go!

Waitz said, of her recent run, “I can run a marathon and still do it.” The marathon-pumping mom went on to add, “You don’t have to stop your whole life to feed your kid.”

With a six hour and 46 minute official race time, Waitz finished the marathon with a sense of accomplishment and 20 ounces of breast milk!

—Erica Loop

Photos: Courtesy of Molly Waitz

 

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Daycare can be daunting for everyone involved, but with a bit of planning, you and your childcare provider can navigate any bumps in the road to a perfect partnership. After all, that bitty babe and tiny tot of yours deserve as much comfort, TLC and security at daycare as they get at home. Read on for tips on making sure the transition to daycare is a smooth one.

Rawpixel

Cover the Basics: Location & Hours of Operation

If you're new to the daycare game, know this: the busiest mornings of your professional career pre-baby were a cakewalk. When you add extras like two sets of clothing, labeled diapers, prepped and labeled bottles and baby food to your list—on top of a routine that's at the mercy of a pre-departure feeding, dressing, soothing and general parenting of your child—mornings take on a whole new meaning. Keep the logistics simple; make sure your daycare is both convenient and open during the hours you expect to need coverage.

Know & Be Aware of Child-to-Adult Ratios

According to ChildCare.gov, "low child-to-adult ratios and small group sizes help ensure that your child gets enough one-on-one attention from an adult who is available to take care of each child’s unique needs. This helps children feel safe and secure and reduces feelings of being overwhelmed—for both children and adults." Since adults are better able to watch and respond to a smaller group, children will be less likely to get injured or sick. Check your state's requirements here. In general, the younger the children, the more trained adults should be present, and the smaller the group size should be.

Accept That It Will Be Stressful at First

The first days and weeks of delivering your child to daycare will be difficult. You'll worry. They'll cry. You might cry. If you accept that you're running a marathon, not a sprint, your difficult mornings will eventually become rare, and you'll find yourself arriving at pick-up to find your child happily engaged and not quite ready to leave.

As you work through the first months of daycare, you'll undoubtedly question your choices. For every article suggesting there could be a negative impact on your child of daycare, there's another one pointing towards a positive outcome for your child from being in a group care setting. Just remember that no matter what the experts say, you are the expert on your child and how he or she is adjusting to childcare.

Communicate

According to Karen Nemeth, EdM, via naeyc.org, parents shouldn't be afraid to share information with a childcare provider, because "the more the teacher knows about your child, the better they can support play, learning, and development. And the more you know about how your child is spending their day, the better you can support learning at home. Remember that you and the teacher both have your child’s wellbeing at heart."

If you find pick-up times to be hectic, try to engage your child's daycare provider via email, text or during drop-off time. The more teachers understand what makes your child unique, the more they can meet his needs, encourage progress and celebrate accomplishments every day.

Pexels

Don't Linger

We've been there. Leaving you mini-me can be excruciating, especially if she's having a major meltdown. But for the sake of everyone's sanity, sometimes it's best to kiss-and-run. Remember, the drop-off is about them, not you. Crying in the car—if you need to shed tears—sets your kiddos up for more success than if you do it in front of them.

Establish Routines

"Most children entering preschool are socially and emotionally able to self-regulate their emotions and behaviors, which means that increased expectations of your child around self-care tasks—such as getting dressed, putting on shoes, and getting ready to leave the house using verbal rather than physical 'help' to complete the tasks where possible—can help tremendously as he or she transitions into a new daycare setting," explains Lydia Criss Mays, PhD, Early Childhood and Elementary Educational Consultant.

Translation: Give your child a task that will engage him or her in the process of going to daycare each day. Let them place their diapers in their bags, put on their shoes or pack their snacks. A routine that includes them becomes a routine they can embrace.

Samantha Hurley via Burst

Talk It Out

In Young Exceptional Children, by Hoffman & Hughes, "research shows parents who start preparing their child for school by talking about expectations at school, appropriate school behaviors and regularly engage in 'sit down' listening activities help ease the transition into preschool by exemplifying routine and building self-confidence, curiosity, self-control and more." The more you talk to them about what's going to happen, the less worrisome the transition into daycare is when it actually happens.

Adjust to the Daycare's Schedule

As a parent, you reign supreme in determining the best snack, nap, screen, bath and bed time—even if it sometimes doesn't go like clockwork. However, when your child begins daycare, he becomes used to an entirely different rhythm during the day. To make life easier on you, your child and your daycare provider, find out what schedule your child follows during the week, and try to align with it on the weekend. Just keep in mind—your tot may be more tired on the weekend and may nap longer.

Raw Pixels

Give Yourself a Minute

Adjusting to a job outside of the home—assuming that's the reason you've decided to go the route of a full- or part-time daycare—is no small task. The feeling of being stretched thin and pulled in multiple directions can sometimes be overwhelming. Find a minute before picking your kids from daycare to do something for yourself. Whether it's as simple as finishing your coffee in your car or allowing yourself 15 minutes for a brisk walk, you'll find yourself recharged and ready to put on that Super Parent cape once again.

Show Appreciation

One mom with whom we spoke just finished her first year of full-time childcare and summed this thought up perfectly. "Invest in the caretakers—no matter how busy you are at drop-off or pick-up. Take time to chat with them about your kiddo at the beginning and end of the day. Be friendly and nice no matter how busy you are, because these people are looking after your very best thing! Build them up so that they are in the best possible position to build your child up."

Forbes backs up this line of thought, citing Organizational and Leadership Development Consultant Mary Abbajay. "It doesn’t matter where we sit in the organizational chart, saying thank you to those above, across or below us helps everybody feel appreciated, valued and rewarded. And the gratitude spillover effect is enormous: people who experience gratitude are more likely to feel happier and spread that happiness, increasing trust and collaboration among colleagues."

—Shelley Massey

 

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Mario and Sonic are headed to the Olympic Games in Tokyo for 2020 and you’re invited to come along and play in a brand new Nintendo Switch game.

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 brings these popular Nintendo and SEGA characters together once again. Kids, young and old, get to join Mario, Sonic and plenty of their friends, like Bowser, Luigi, Princess Peach and many more, to play action-packed sporting events in classic retro 2D and modern 3D.

The classic 2D events, featured in the original Sonic in Super Mario 64 include Gymnastics (Vault), Judo, Kayak Single (K-1) 1000m, Long Jump, Diving, Marathon, Volleyball and more. You can also take the leap to 3D in new events including Archery, Badminton, Boxing, Discus Throw, Equestrian (Jumping), Fencing, Football (Soccer), Gymnastics (Floor Exercise), Javelin Throw, Karate (Kumite), Rugby Sevens, Skateboarding, Sport Climbing, Shortboard Surfing, Swimming the 100m Freestyle, Table Tennis and more.

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 can be played with one to four players, making a great family night choice. It will be available exclusively on Nintendo Switch starting Nov. 5.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: SEGA via YouTube

 

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Cynthia Arnold is a runner, record-breaker and a super-mama. The Montana mom to three recently finished the Missoula Marathon in just over three hours—and while pushing all three of her kiddo’s in a super-stroller.

Arnold’s latest run gave her the unofficial title as fastest person to run a marathon while pushing a three-person stroller. And this isn’t even the first time the mama has had a record-holding run!

Last year Arnold broke the triple stroller-pushing record while running the 2018 Missoula Half Marathon. This time the mom ran a full 26.2 miles, with her six, four and one-year-old in tow. That’s an additional 185 pounds (including the stroller).

So what’s next for this marathon mama? Arnold told Runner’s World she has plans to go solo on her next race, but that doesn’t mean she’ll ditch her stroller yet. “I was laughing with my husband about throwing the stroller into a ditch or off a cliff, you know, say goodbye to that heavy old thing.”

The record-breaker went on to tell Runner’s World, “But I would never really do that. I tear up when I think any day could be the last day my oldest daughter goes for a run in the stroller. She can ride her bike while I run now.”

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Missoula Marathon via Instagram

 

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The idea of not being married to your soon-to-be-ex may seem really appealing right now. No more nagging, escaping the never-ending criticism, and finally being able to live on your own terms again. You can now parent the way you want to parent without being criticized for the fact that your daughter’s pigtails are not exactly parallel. This all sounds wonderful and so freeing. Right?  

You might think that only a few things, in reality, would change. There might already be no family time—and lately, the two of you have been sleeping in separate rooms anyway. While there may be moments in your current married life that are less than blissful, the reality is you have a partner, even if you feel as if that partnership is not as wonderful or equal as it used to be. Therefore, before you make an appointment with a divorce lawyer, I urge you to step through the sliding glass doors and truly envision what your life is going to look like when you are on your own but still responsible for all you created while you were married.  

An Alternate Universe
Now you are standing on the outside, and you are looking in. Every time you are with your children now, you are on your own, or you are still dependent on someone helping you out? But now you are not only funding your own (and maybe your ex’s) lifestyle; you are also paying for a nanny or a babysitter. Your life is extra complicated, and are literally tasked with dealing with all the drama while still trying to get your presentation ready for work. The idyllic single life this is not. You will be the sole runner in a race that feels like an ultra-marathon most days.   

What Is Harder, Marriage or Divorce?
This is truly the loaded question. Trusting your instincts is necessary. If there are any feelings or reasons why you might decide that divorce is not the best option, then you need to listen. This is your gut telling you what to do. As you start to figure out which way to go at this fork in the road, I want you to think about factors that are bigger than you alone.

• How are your children going to deal with this major life change?  • How will you manage without the support of the person who has been there with you—through good times, as well as bad?  • What are your true feelings about being single? • Is your divorce going to change your career trajectory or your ability to make (and keep) money? What do your finances look like, and how will this potentially change if you are supporting two households? • What lifestyle changes could occur? • Do you anticipate a big fight with your spouse over assets and property? • And seriously, how is your mental and physical health (because they will be impacted as well)?  You absolutely must answer these questions honestly and examine your feelings regarding your truthful responses to such queries before you go home and tell your spouse, “I want a divorce.”  

Some Tough Questions to Ponder
Here are some questions you should also think about as you look to make an educated and rational decision regarding divorce: • Have you tried to speak with your spouse about your feelings? Have you had an honest heart-to-heart about the issues you are facing as a couple? If so, what was the outcome? • Have you tried marriage counseling? • Have the two of you tried to identify and isolate the problems inside your relationship? • Do you have the ability to openly communicate with each other without nagging, arguing, or even talking over the other one? • Are you willing to compromise?   Think about these lines of thought: • Are you going to miss your kids if you do not see them every day? • Do you feel confident that during your parenting time you could be the sole parent caring for your children’s daily needs? This affects not only your life but your children’s lives as well, so answer honestly. • How are your kids going to handle being shuttled between two households with different parenting schedules and styles? • What lifestyle changes are you willing to make?   

Keep in mind paying for two households is much more expensive than one. Getting divorced is costly. If your situation is financially challenged right now, expect to tighten your belt even more. To summarize, weighing all possible options is imperative when considering divorce. And you must do this before you decide to pull the trigger and tell your spouse.

Jacqueline Newman is a divorce lawyer and matrimonial law expert. As managing partner of a top-tier 5th Avenue Manhattan law firm focused exclusively on divorce, her practice runs the gamut from prenups for high net worth people contemplating marriage to high conflict matrimonial litigation in dissolutions. 

From the added weight strain to the sheer exhaustion, science has finally declared that being pregnant is basically like sprinting through a marathon. A new study says that pregnant women expend nearly the same energy as endurance athletes.

The study published in Science Advances was looking to measure the maximum human energy expenditure and found that endurance athletes competing in long-distance events like Tour de France and Iron Man generally peak at an energy expenditure level of 2.5 BMR. In other words the burn calories at an average rate of 2.5 times their resting metabolic rate. What researchers found surprising about this is the fact that pregnant women expend nearly the same amount of energy, with an average of 2.2 BMR, according to CTVNews.

photo: Freestocks via Pexels

What the study ultimately proved was the limit of what is possible for humans and being pregnant is pretty close to reaching that limit, Herman Pontzer, study co-author and associate professor of evolutionary anthropology at Duke University explained to CTVNews.

“I think we all have the potential—but how do we reach it? With pregnancy your body takes over and you have no control over it,” he said. “Every mother who has gone through a pregnancy has experienced that effort themselves.”

—Shahrzad Warkentin

 

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