It’s not uncommon for parents to worry when their child begins showing signs of picky eating. As the Executive Chef at Revolution Foods, the nation’s leading school meal provider, I experience picky eating all the time. That said, I wanted to share my go-to methods when in combat.

Let’s start with what creates a picky eater. For some kids it’s texture, for others it’s their sensitive palate, but generally, it’s that their parents are picky eaters themselves. When parents are set in their ways about anything, it encourages their children to do the same. If this is the case, you may be unaware that your child is experiencing picky eating. Some typical picky eating behaviors that you may have noticed in your child include:

  • Refusing food because of its color or texture
  • Choosing a couple foods he or she likes and refusing to eat anything else
  • Spending time at the table doing anything but eating

The good news? These behaviors are all very normal and will fade with growth. In the meantime, try the below tricks to help keep your child’s pallet and nutrition on track for a happy, healthy future.

1. Use their habitual nature to your advantage.

Kids and adults are similar in the sense that they can be habitual and trusting of restaurants that they already know they’re going to like. You can use this tendency of theirs to your advantage when getting them to try new things. If your child is already comfortable with the chicken tenders and the mac n cheese from a restaurant, they’ll be more easily convinced that the grilled chicken salad might be trustworthy, too.

This restaurant tactic can also be utilized if you’re facing the issue of your child resenting you when it comes to trying new foods. When you make healthy eating a chore by insisting kids remain at the table until their peas are gone, it’s in their nature to rebel and put up barriers. When a fancy new meal is being delivered by a chef, however, they’ll be much more inclined to give it a go.

2. Let them play.

Use their playful imagination and create edible artwork to combat their pickiness. Animal-shaped foods and pops of color are going to motivate kids to try anything and everything you put in front of them. Adding a rainbow of veggies to your child’s plate might make them more excited to dig in and less inclined to hide them in their napkins, and as a result, you’ll also be filling them with vitamins and minerals that they may have been previously lacking.

3. Don’t feel bad about getting sneaky.

Creating dishes that contain hidden healthy ingredients inside is another great trick to get kids to try new foods. If you know they like fruit, whip up a smoothie with added veggies and protein. This is a great way to ensure kids are getting the nutrients they need, but since we’re talking about picky eaters, a best practice is to ensure they’re watching you put the “good” ingredients in. Their ears will perk up when they see you add in all of their favorite fruits and yogurt, and your days of persuading will be behind you.

4. And lastly, be patient.

Let’s refer back to my first point here: don’t worry! Just because your child starts off as a picky eater, doesn’t mean they’re going to stay that way. Kids tastes evolve as they grow. As a chef, the goal for me is to allow a picky eater to be relatively picky as long as I can see that they’re slowly expanding their horizons. Their friends come in handy this way; the different foods kids see their friends eating and enjoying will help them grow their pallet naturally.

Companies like Revolution Foods also comes in handy when it comes to giving kids that gentle push to expand their horizons. They intentionally craft culturally and regionally relevant menus to deliver great-tasting meals that broaden kids’ palates on a daily basis.

Kids have a mind of their own. Feel free to let them stick to that mindset knowing that in time, and with a few new tricks up your sleeve, they’ll get through their picky eating phase as they get through everything—with Mom & Dad’s patience and creativity of course.

I'm a chef who specializes in elevating food, from turning airplane meals into a hot commodity to making clean, gluten-free dishes delicious. I grew up knowing firsthand the impact of childhood hunger, which is why I am thrilled to be a part of Revolution Foods’ team and help fuel children’s minds and bodies.

While it’s easy to think that you have to be born good learner to be one, that is not entirely true. Although the child’s individual predispositions to education and personality play a vital role in developing their approach to learning, with good learning habits and proper motivation, any student can become a good learner. However, the mistake many parents often make is they rely solely on the teacher as the only source of instruction instead of extending their academic growth outside the classroom. Parents are the first teachers to their children, and as such, they have the task to make the most of the time they spend with their kids and use it to support their children’s learning at home. To get you started, here’s a list of five creative ways for increasing your child’s motivation and boosting their academic achievement. Let’s take a look at these clever and useful tips.

 

1. Help Them Discover Their Learning Style

When it comes to knowledge acquisition, every child has their preferences, and discovering which learning style best suits them is the first step towards boosting their academic performance. While some students learn using one st‌yle which is dominant, others prefer a blend of different learning st‌yles. Since the one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t work when it comes to education, and there are no rules on how to combine different learning st‌yles, it’d be best if your child would try different learning st‌yles and opt for one(s) that best suit their needs. Some individuals best learn by relying on visual aids such as pictures and images while others prefer the hands-on approach to learning. And while some students acquire knowledge faster when they’re working in groups or with other individuals, others learn better when they study alone. Help your child discover which of the seven learning st‌yles best fit them so they start using the proper learning techniques to ensure fast, quality study time.

 

2. Emphasize the Value of Education

Teaching your child how important education is for them and their future is another step you can take to ensure they have the proper motivation. Even though the knowledge and information they get at school is a great starting point, you need to understand that education begins at home, and the attitude you have towards education will rub off on your kids and influence their way of perceiving education. When you have a positive approach to education and constantly emphasize how important it is, you can expect your children to adopt the same attitude, which will determine their educational success later on. And even if there are some obstacles that can impede progress such as finances, nowadays there are a number of girls scholarships that are being given to families who lack resources to ensure everyone has an equal chance at education and success.

 

3. Help Them Stay Organized to Boost Their Motivation

Designing a space that is well-organized and reserved only for learning can be a great way to boost your child’s motivation for learning and help them feel like they’re in control. Even though disorganization is common among youngsters, with some practical tips and organizational skills, your child can master the art of organizing their supplies and assignments, and grow up to become a well-organized, responsible individual. Optimize their study space by incorporating all the necessary elements and equipment and removing any distractions, and arrange a time in a day that they’ll study to ensure they always study at the same place and at the same time.

 

4. Encourage Your Child to Pursue Interests and Subjects They Enjoy

Showing enthusiasm for the subjects your child has expressed interest in is a great way to provide additional motivation and boost their academic performance. If you notice that there is something your child is particularly fascinated by, encourage them to further pursue their interest and gain more knowledge about that certain topic. When a child is eager to learn more about one subject in particular, the whole learning process becomes so much easier since the child doesn’t need any external motivators to engage in learning. If they are interested in one animal in particular, say giraffes, find a way to occupy their mind and encourage them to find out more about them. Find a book about giraffes and read to them, and after that, ask them to explain what they’ve just learned.

 

5. Celebrate Their Successes and Achievements

Recognizing the achievements and successes of your child and celebrating them is one of the most effective ways to increase their motivation and make them feel good about themselves. Sometimes, even the smallest yet sincere praises go a long way in making a child feel proud of their achievements, and the younger the kid, the more praises they should be given in order to provide positive reinforcement and boost their motivation. If your child managed to finish a project on time and earned a good grade, treat them to their favorite ice cream or let them play video games for another hour. That way, they’ll feel inspired to keep up the good work and challenge themselves to do even better next time.

There are so many things you can do to ensure the academic success of your child. Use the tips above to motivate your child to learn and help them fulfill their potential.

 

 

Isabel William is consultant by day and a blogger by night and Mom to twins 24/7.

Area of interest includes education, well being, mental health, as well as self-improvement. 

Considered by her peers a lifetime educator, whose passion is love for writing and helping people, parenting, education and science.

 

Photo: Kristin Van de Water

“Emily’s a baby! Emily’s a baby!” chanted my twins’ 1st-grade classmate.

“I’m not a baby. I’m 4 years old,” my preschooler rebutted matter-of-factly. Thank goodness she has thick skin.

Unfortunately, my two-year-old is a sponge for good and bad behavior, so she parroted back, “Emily’s a baby!”

“I’m not a baby. You’re the baby,” Emily replied. “You’re two.”

“I’m not a baby. I’m a big girl. I’m two and-a-half,” my toddler insisted.

The other day, my two-year-old even went so far as to march around the apartment, exclaiming, “I’m bigger than you!” to all siblings and parents in sight. At 35″, that clearly wasn’t true. But it highlights the yearning my littlest one has to measure up to her older siblings as she transitions from baby to child.

My older kids understand that sometimes it’s appropriate to give their sister what she’s crying for or grabbing at just because she’s little. But as her third birthday approaches, she can’t play that card much longer, especially when she, herself, insists that she’s a big girl.

As the youngest of four children, my two-year-old often defaults into the baby category in my mind. I catch myself being more lenient with her than I was when my others were her age. (I don’t force her to finish her veggies. I reserve the spot on my lap for her. She hordes family toys as her own and we let it slide.) I’m realizing more and more that my defiant little cave woman needs some clear boundaries and behavioral standards appropriate for a nearly three-year-old.

As a result, I have been determined to cut out the remaining vestiges of babyhood before my daughter begins preschool in the fall. That means phasing out:

  1. Pacifiers
  2. Naps
  3. Strollers
  4. Diapers

Apparently being a big kid loses its charm when it means saying goodbye to what has been present your entire life. My two-year-old has been caught in the no-man’s land of toddlerhood, where her words can’t quite keep up with the whirlwind of emotions that comes with being tugged in two directions. The result? Plenty of tantrums and my older kids giving her the nickname “Boss Baby.”

One minute she’d be staking her claim on big-kid status. Then the next, she’d pop out of the bathtub and plead, “Wrap me up and rock me like a baby. Sing ‘Rock-a-Bye Baby.’” When it came it strollers and naps, my daughter wanted to be a big kid. But when it came to pacifiers and diapers, she wanted to be a baby.

We crossed pacifiers and naps off the list in a 1-2 punch. Thankfully a few minutes of tears, lullabies, and extra tuck-me-ins at bedtime was all it took to break out of the dependence on her pacifier. Ever since then, she has refused her nap, popping out of bed incessantly without the motivating comfort of a pacifier to keep her horizontal. No naps meant surrendering the hour of “me time” I would use to recharge in the afternoon, but at least it was one less item to tackle before September.

A gust of wind that nearly toppled our stroller with my toddler in it left her afraid to use the stroller for a week. While she does ask to use it periodically, that week of walking or bussing to various outings revealed just how capable she is of striding out. She can walk 10 blocks or more with gusto when she sets her mind to it, insisting that we leave the stroller at home. Now I see that, when I’m ready to bite the bullet and not have the stroller along to carry our gear, my daughter will be more than ready to walk independently.

So that leaves potty training as our current focus. I’ve heard that kids can hang onto their diapers as a final connection to their babyhood, and that seems to be the case for us.

When picking out underwear and bringing the little pink potty out of storage didn’t motivate my daughter enough to let go of her diapers, I realized we would need to take a cold turkey approach.

As we watched the last pack of diapers dwindle, we talked about how the daytime diapers were almost gone and soon she would get to wear undies all day long just like Mommy and her big sisters.

And so, one day we found ourselves heading out to playgroup wearing the final diaper. We set my phone alarm to play music for our hourly “potty dance” on the way to the bathroom. After an entire morning holding everything in, the age-old M&M bribery trick worked its wonders as she squeezed a few drops of pee into her tiny potty. We were so excited, we all ate celebratory M&Ms (which had the added bonus of getting my older kids on board as cheerleaders in the potty-training process).

My 6-year-old daughter had the brilliant idea of creating a sticker chart for her little sister—which turned out way cooler than if I had made one myself—and posted it on the fridge. I had thought about trying a chart, but it seemed like too much work for something I didn’t think would have much motivating power. Boy was I wrong. Adding stickers has become the biggest incentive of all.

Two weeks and a few dozen accidents later, with my patience worn thin and our M&M supply depleted, we celebrated a major potty-training milestone today. Perhaps in honor of my husband’s birthday and the plate full of cake she gobbled down, my daughter called us all over to present a birthday present only a parent of a toddler could fully appreciate: a poop, perfectly placed in the big potty.

That deposit secured her big-kid status in my book. Check it off the list, and bake that birthday cake. Three years old, here we come!

Kristin Van de Water
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Kristin Van de Water is a former journalist and teacher who relies on humor, faith, and her mom crew to get her through the day. Raising four kids in a two-bedroom NYC apartment, Kristin is always on the lookout for life hacks to save time, space, money, and her sanity.

Photo: Kristin Van de Water

We all know getting out the door with little kids underfoot is an endeavor on an ordinary day. Preparing for a ski day with four kids under six, however, calls for a whole new level of parenting dexterity—and especially the determination to push through the craziness.

Getting my family geared up, outside and onto the ski slope is a whole lot of journey for a (thankfully) incredible mountainside destination. When I get bogged down in the process and wonder, “Is it really worth it?”

I just tell myself, “Yes” and keep moving through the steps. Any of these sound familiar? (Number 21, anyone?)

  1. Wake up and rejoice that it’s Saturday—my day to sleep in!
  2. Roll over and realize that it’s a ski weekend, so I do actually have to get up.
  3. Dish up and eat somewhere between 6 and 12 bowls of cereal.
  4. Brush six sets of teeth.
  5. Explain to my four-year-old that, no, she can’t stay by herself while the rest of the family goes skiing. And yes, that means get ready now.
  6. Make a note to invite friends along whose kids will motivate mine to ski.
  7. Turn thermals right-side out and squint at rubbed-off labels to decipher whose is whose.
  8. Search high and low for missing mittens, only to discover 10 minutes later that they are already clipped onto my son’s jacket.
  9. Pack peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into jacket pockets, knowing they will inevitably get squished and that you will end up eating them while the kids dig M&Ms out of your trail mix.
  10. Stock pockets with Kleenex and granola bars.
  11. There are too many bodies and too much gear around, so send husband ahead to take your toddler to daycare at the mountain, drop off skis and poles by the lodge and pick up lift tickets.
  12. Smear on sunscreen and Chapstick so no one looks like Rudolph at the end of the day.
  13. Convince kids to use the bathroom before climbing into snow bibs.
  14. Throw ski socks in the dryer after they get wet while washing hands.
  15. Shove kids’ feet into boots. Adjust buckles at least three times because they are too tight, too loose and lopsided.
  16. Stretch goggles over helmets without flinging them across the room.
  17. When husband returns, tuck ski passes into jacket pockets and pray they stay there.
  18. Zip up jackets for those who mitten-clad hands leave them helpless.
  19. Take off neck warmers because now they are too hot. Tuck them into your ski jacket because of course they will get cold later. Throw in an extra thermal top just in case.
  20. Send the kids outside to cool off while you take 60 seconds tops to use the bathroom and gear up.
  21. Open the door to discover your kids are sopping wet from stomping and digging around in two feet of snow.
  22. Take off your layers as now you are overheating. Strip off the kids’ wet bibs, socks and mittens and put into the dryer. Dump clumps of snow out of boots.
  23. Establish new rule: no playing in the snow.
  24. Feel like a grinch. Update rule: Make sure the elastic on your snow pants is covering your boots so the snow can’t get in.
  25. “I’m hungry!” How is it already snack time?
  26. Pray for patience.
  27. Brush teeth again.
  28. Potty checks again.
  29. Suit up again.
  30. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that skiing is a life skill and the fresh air will do everyone good.

And, hopefully, someday you will enjoy glorious ski vacations with your future grandkids because of the craziness you push through today—even if today only amounts to one run.

Kristin Van de Water
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Kristin Van de Water is a former journalist and teacher who relies on humor, faith, and her mom crew to get her through the day. Raising four kids in a two-bedroom NYC apartment, Kristin is always on the lookout for life hacks to save time, space, money, and her sanity.

Photo: Shutterstock

When raising a teenager, you have to get your balancing game on. You learn to be firm but not inflexible, you learn to give them freedom but also set boundaries and you learn when to tighten the reins and when to give them some slack. Most of all, you have to balance being encouraging without overly pressuring them.

I got to thinking about that last part, especially as it pertains to academic success. Like most parents, I want my teens to attain top grades, secure places in top colleges and go on to excel in life. However, I started questioning my methods—especially as studies revealed that an overwhelming number of teens are now suffering from depression and anxiety caused partly by the pressure they feel to succeed academically.

While I believe that a little stress and discomfort are a key part of building grit and resilience in teens, too much of it is debilitating. I found a delicate balance between encouraging my teens and pushing too hard by:

Learning their personalities.

I found that working with my teen’s strengths and interests, especially when it came to extracurricular activities produced much better results. My daughter, for instance, isn’t into sports. So instead of pushing her to join the track team, I encouraged her to do what interested her which turned out to be writing for the school paper.

Making them part of the conversation.

We parents are often guilty of making most academic decisions on behalf of our teens instead of trusting them to do it. I decided to do things differently by involving my teens—I asked their opinions on their schoolwork and listened to the solutions they felt would work in improving their grades, e.g., getting a math tutor for my son and helping my daughter form a study group.

Redefining what “success” meant.

It turns out that my expectations were stressing my teens out. I wanted them to go to certain colleges, take part in various extracurricular activities and take certain subjects. They, however, didn’t agree and we clashed. I had to take a step back, examine my expectations and redefine what my kids’ success really looked like so I could stop pressuring them.

Learning not to use fear as a motivator.

I used to often employ fear as a way to motivate my teens with statements like, “If you don’t study you’ll end up failing and missing your college cut-off grades” and issuing all kinds of warnings. I thought that this would spur them into action but fear only had the opposite effect.

My teens ended up feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Instead of motivating them, I stifled their curiosity and the fear of failing and letting me down kept them from trying new things.

Finally, through trial and error, I found out that being a supportive, caring and an empathetic parent went a long way towards helping my teens cope with the pressures of academic life. Once they realized that I was on their side and was willing to help them attain their goals, they put more effort into their studies.

Tyler Jacobson is a happy husband, father of three, writer and outreach specialist with experience with organizations that help troubled teens and parents. His areas of focus include: parenting, social media, addiction, mental illness, and issues facing teenagers today.

 

“Either you have a pleasant morning or everyone gets to school on time.” 

This saying rings so true in our house. As a single working parent to three amazing humans, MOST days it is an uphill battle to keep everyone organized and out the door ON TIME.

My kids are 10, 7 and 4 in grades 5, 2 and preschool. We have two different school drop offs, carpool, multiple teachers, after-school clubs, tutors, counselors, sports/music lessons and a co-parenting schedule all to juggle each week—not to mention my own work schedule. I wake up at 4:30 a.m. and exercise; then I wake the kids up at 6 a.m., so we can leave the house by 7 a.m. to get to elementary school then preschool, then my office by 8:30 a.m. at the latest. Usually that means breakfast is to-go in the car.

The Tools

We use these ‘bento box’ st‌yle trays that we can pop in granola bars, milk, yogurt, sausages, rolls, etc and each person places it on their lap in the car.

Breakfasts choices are super easy: toasted bagels, pillsbury croissants, frozen waffles and pancakes, etc. We always keep Horizon boxed milk on hand for car-rides. Sometimes those squeeze fruit packs are great, too.

Lunches we use a mix or reusable snack and sandwich baggies and disposable snacks, boxed milk and juices. Kids usually do a pre-pack the night before ( fruit, carrots, snacks, etc) then a sandwich the morning-of.

Stashed in my car console are these awesome reusable antibacterial Norwex towels that kids use to wipe hands and they can absorb an entire can of soda (amazing!)—and we have wet wipes, too. And don’t forget a garbage bag in the van! I drive a Honda Odyssey so lots of room for “The Stuff,” plus cup holders galore.

We do keep a hand-held vacuum in the car and we keep these handy charcoal odor absorbing tubes spread around to keep things from turning into an absolute scary-van.

Finding Their Motivation

Even with all the prep and tools, my kids were just not getting out of bed on time. I would wake them up, then they would just lay there for 30 minutes until I got super angry. Meanwhile, I was stressed that they wouldn’t have time to pack their lunches or grab breakfast, so I ended up doing ALL of it for them. Which taught them that I would continue to do that, while they slept in. GRRRRR.

We had the pep talk. We had the reminder pep talk. Then the “threatening” pep talk. Then the drill-sergeant pep talk… then the crying pep talk… all by mom, the supposed leader of the family—yeah, it wasn’t working. It was all emotion-based on my end and they knew I was outnumbered. Kids are so intuitive!

I decided to change my strategy. “How can I teach them the consequence of being dependable?” I wondered. They needed to have a fear of letting down THE GROUP if they “forgot” or didn’t do their part. I decided to have the older two split the duties of 1) making lunches for everyone or 2) making breakfast for everyone

They would switch off daily to mix it up and could negotiate the schedule themselves. If someone was lazy, everyone would suffer. This seemed to do the trick for us and motivated the kids to get it in gear!

So, a few weeks in and it’s not perfect, but it takes WAY less pleading to get them up and moving. I just have to say one reminder: “Don’t forget you have lunch-duty or breakfast-duty. Let me know if I can help”—and they’re on it.

I hope you find what works to motivate your crew—and maybe you have gleaned a few tips and tricks from our crazy routine here! Best of luck and just remember to keep trying until you find something that works. Have grace with yourself and your family and know that you are doing better than you think you are.

This post originally appeared on 2ocmoms.wordpress.com.

I am a busy single mom to three amazing kids. My parenting philosophy has evolved many times over, but begins and ends with LOVE, including showing the behavior you want to see and just being kind. From divorce to traveling with kids and time management—I'm your gal to read! 

Photo: Eleni Koureas via Unsplash

New Year. New you—maybe? Maybe not. But there’s no denying there’s a certain kind of re-energy this time of year, inspiring us to do and be our best—if not for ourselves, then definitely for our kids.

New for Spoke this year? Our Writing Contests now run for six weeks at a time instead of monthly. We know it’s not easy trying to whip up brilliance in just four short weeks, so we gave you two extra.

Let’s Talk: Theme

For our first Spoke Writing Contest of the year, the theme is “This Organized Life.”

Everyone loves a fresh start and there’s something about this time of year that inspires us to do and be better. Whether it’s your parenting resolutions in the New Year, your rockstar organizational hacks or just how you stay motivated as a parent (or even motivate your kids), we’re here for all the ways you plan to make 2019 your best year yet.

This Organized Life: Writing Prompts

Need some inspo? Here are a few ideas to get your started:

  • The One Parenting Resolution I Promise to Keep This Year
  • The Parenting Resolution I’m Ditching This Year
  • How I Get My Kids Motivated & Out the Door on Time
  • Clever Organizational Hacks for…Kids’ Rooms, Pantries, Nurseries, Closets, etc.
  • How I Use __________ to Organize My Life
  • Ease Ways to Squeeze in a Workout/Meditation/Self-Care During a Busy Day
  • Why I Get Up Before Everyone Else (or, conversely: Why I Go to Bed After Everyone Else)
  • Time Management Tips for New Parents
  • Things Better/Easier/Cooler than a Family Calendar
  • Apps that Save Me Time (& My Sanity) as a Parent

Feel free to write about whatever you’d like as it relates to this theme, and make sure your post fits into one of our three Spoke post categories: Real Talk, Rockstar Parenting or Parenting Humor.

The Fine Print

Three winning posts will be selected by our editors and based on quality, originality and page views.

  1. Each winner will receive $100 each for their original post. (Remember, only original posts are eligible for Writing Contest prizes.)
  2. Entries must be submitted no later than 11:59 p.m. Pacific by Feb. 28, 2019. Winners will be notified and announced the next month.
  3. To enter, please use of the following Red Tricycle Article Code with your post: #organizedlife2019. (No caps and please include the hashtag.)

We can’t wait to read your awesome entries!

—Keiko Zoll, Spoke Contributor Network Editor

 

Photo: Rawpixel

The holidays have always been one of my favorite times of the year. I love listening to Christmas music, lighting menorah candles and baking (and eating) holiday treats. But as a parent, the holidays can also be very busy and stressful. Special events like parties, concerts and family gatherings can throw off schedules and disrupt routines. And many holiday activities like long car rides, multiple trips to Target and hectic family dinners are challenging to navigate when children get impatient and act out.

As a result, I often find myself using rewards to encourage good behavior, help around the house or not make a scene when going to the doctor’s office to get a shot (this is a big one in our family). I do this more often than I would like to, especially knowing how rewards impact development.

As a developmental psychologist, it is sometimes helpful to be knowledgeable about child development, but that knowledge can also work against you when you are a parent. That is, you may know what you should do, but in reality that doesn’t always work. So while I know that providing extrinsic rewards, like screen time, treats or a trip to their favorite store can have a negative impact on my children, there are times that I have somewhat reluctantly used them.

One important distinction to make is the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. When we are intrinsically motivated, we engage in an activity because it is personally rewarding and we enjoy it (for me, things like  reading, running or yoga).

In contrast, extrinsic motivation occurs when we engage in an activity to gain a reward or avoid something unpleasant (e.g., cleaning your room for extra dessert). Research paints a clear picture of the benefits of intrinsic motivation and how extrinsic motivators in the form of rewards can undermine children’s natural interest in a range of activities.

For example, in school, if children are given a gold star for doing well, their motivation for learning may be based on receiving rewards and not on their natural thirst for knowledge.

In a classic study of motivation, researchers observed preschoolers’ natural tendencies to use markers. Some children were given an award for playing with the markers while others were not. Several weeks later the researchers returned to the preschool to observe the children again. What they found might surprise you.

Children who did not receive an award were more likely to continue using the markers compared to those who were given something. That is, children who received the reward believed the activity was tied to the reward and when there was no longer any reward, the children lost interest in the activity.

Decades of research support this finding with older children and adults engaging in a variety of activities (e.g., putting together puzzles, playing with toys). The message from this research is pretty clear: rewards can lower the intrinsic appeal of activities that are naturally appealing to many children.

While research tells us that intrinsic motivation is ideal, it is not always possible in every situation. What is important to keep in mind is that excessive rewards can be problematic, but extrinsic rewards can also be a useful tool, especially when children have no internal desire to engage in an activity or are scared to try something new.

When one of my daughters was learning to ride her bike, she didn’t want us to take off her training wheels. So we did what many parents would do—we offered her a trip to Baskin-Robbins if she tried riding her bike to the mailbox (a long 50 yards) without training wheels. She took the plunge and discovered that riding without training wheels is not as scary and she thought…and it was fun! After that, she didn’t need the promise of an ice cream cone to keep riding.

Another thing to keep in mind is that children want to be helpful. Giving children a choice of how they can help can often lead to a positive outcome. In my family, washing dishes is low on everyone’s list so I often give my daughters the choice of washing dishes, setting the table or taking out the trash and recycling as options for helping during mealtimes.

In addition, research suggests that verbal praise and positive reinforcement can help to encourage positive behavior in children. Process-focused praise in particular—“That’s a really good score. You must have worked really hard”—can increase internal motivation and lead children to persist through challenging situations.

As with any parenting tip, there is no one right way to motivate children. Extrinsic and intrinsic motivation are both important ways of shaping behavior. Ultimately, extrinsic motivators should be used strategically and sparingly, especially when children may find that an activity or task is inherently engaging or rewarding.

A well-respected researcher, Dr. Hadani holds a doctorate in developmental psychology from Stanford. She has worked with children to develop products for companies including Apple, Hasbro and LEGO. She is a member of the Goddard School Educational Advisory Board. Currently, she is the director of research at the Center for Childhood Creativity.

Eight percent of children between the ages of 6 and 17 feel that reading during the summer months will indeed help them out when they go back to school, according to the Scholastic Kids & Family Reading Report: 6th Edition. But that doesn’t mean that summer reading actually happens. So here’s where the 2018 Scholastic Summer Reading Challenge comes in. Scholastic’s annual summer reading challenge program helps to motivate kids across the country to read, read and read some more!

The 2018 Scholastic Summer Reading Challenge is a free online program that helps kids to track just how much they’re reading during those non-school months. Oh, but that’s not all.

In honor of the 20th anniversary of the U.S. publication of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, this year’s Challenge has the theme, A Magical Summer of Reading. Along with seeing works by Harry Potter illustrated series artist Jim Kay, kids who register for the Challenge can access 18 reading-related activities that are based on the Harry Potter series (including quizzes, videos, puzzles and games), watch videos of some of their favorite stories read by children’s book authors and time their reading adventures with an online stopwatch.

So how does your child register for this magical program? Teachers, public librarians and community literacy partners can register their students for the Challenge. They can also get free educational resources, videos and booklists—in English or Spanish.

Along with the Challenge, the Scholastic Summer Reading Road Trip will be coming to 30 cities across the country. Road Trip activities include meet and greets with favorite Scholastic authors and much, much more!

The Challenge runs from now through September 7th. After the closing date, Scholastic will announce “Best in State” winners—one school, library or community group in each state that has read the most number of minutes total. The winners get a Scholastic party kit, banner, plaque and certificates. They’ll also get a mention in the 2019 Scholastic Book of World Records.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: pixabay.com

RELATED STORIES:

4 New Inspiring Books to Read to Your Kids Right Now

This New Children’s Book about LGBTQ History Is Long Overdue

This New Children’s Book about Ella Fitzgerald Is All That Jazz & More

Parents play the most important role in their children’s life. They need to support and motivate them at all times. This universe is vast, complicated and full of different obstacles. And do you know what we all need in order to succeed? A hand to hold. But, sometimes, we need to let go if we want to help.

Taking care of your kids is nice, but that does not mean that you should influence every decision that they make. You just need to be supportive, and you need to help them shape their reality by fulfilling their dreams.

Over time, your children’s dreams will change. Their lives might go in an unexpected direction. And you know what? That’s fine, and that’s normal. But, for now, let’s take a look at how you can influence your child’s life and help them achieve their dreams.

The value of responsibility

Teaching your child about the value of responsibility is absolutely necessary. But that’s easier said than done. In order to teach your child about it, you should consider turning almost everything into a game. That way they’ll feel the satisfaction of a job well done. In the morning play a little game called “Who can make the bed faster?” and in the evening “Who can wash the dishes better?”

Over time, your child will get used to doing these things without even noticing what you did.

Don’t be overprotective

Every parent wants to protect their kids from every harm in the world, but, in the long run, that might prove to be a wrong decision. Let your kids run around and scrape their knees, let them fall, and let them learn to get up on their own. You won’t be there for them all the time, and it’s important they realize that.

In difficult moments be there for your kids, but don’t try to over-explain things to them. Over time they’ll become more physically, mentally and emotionally stronger.

Support their dreams

The best thing you can do for your little ones is support their dreams and passions. If your kids are interested in something even though that might seem silly to you, don’t shoot them down by telling them that their dreams are just dreams and that they need to look for something else to dream about.

If your kids are interested in something – support them. If your child loves music – buy an instrument for them. If drawing is what makes your kid happy, then buy art supplies for them.

However, it is also important to think about the future. Start putting money aside and learn all you can about easy to get scholarships, and prepare well in advance. Education is expensive, but it is necessary if you want to enable your child to reach their full potential.

Encourage them to learn

“Play is the work of the child,” said Maria Montessori, a famous Italian educator, and innovator. But, what happens when your child grows up and needs to start learning things that might be of little interest to them? Well, then you need to find a way to keep them interested.

The only way you can do that is by showing them that learning is exciting, and that learning new things and acquiring new information is fun! Speak to your children, give them some fun facts from history about famous scientists and over time they’ll fall in love with learning.

Bonus tip: Never use studying as a form of punishment! If you do that, your child will associate learning with something negative, and that will be incredibly difficult to change.

There are many ways to encourage your children’s hopes and dreams, but, in the end, it all comes down to love and support that you provide them with.

As Fred Rogers said, “Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.’’

 

Featured Photo Courtesy: pexels.com

Tracey Clayton is a full time mom of three girls. She feels she knows a thing or two about raising happy, healthy and confident kids, and offers helpful advice in hers parenting articles. She's also passionate about traveling, fashion and healthy living.