In a viral video, a mom of three explains “mom math,” the backwards calculations she has to do before going anywhere with her kids in tow—and it’s so relatable
If you’ve been on any kind of social media lately, you’ve probably heard of “girl math.” But thanks to one mom of three, there’s a new viral calculation: “mom math.” And if you’ve ever tried to go anywhere with kids, it’s going to be very familiar to you.
A mom of a 4-year-old, 2-year-old, and 2-month-old, who posts to the Instagram account @chaoswitherica, came up with the concept, which is now wracking up views because it’s just so relatable.
“Let’s say we need to be somewhere at 9 a.m.,” she explains, and then she launches into the complex calculations that make up mom math. “If we are pulling out of the driveway at 8:40 we may be loading up at 8:30, if we are loading up at 8:30 that means we need to have shoes on by 8:20. If we’re getting shoes on at 8:20, my kids take forever to eat, so we should be eating breakfast by 7:15, and getting dressed. So if we are getting shoes on at 8:20, that means she will need to be fed sometime before (motioning to her baby) so I should probably be feeding her around 7:45 so she’s happy for the drive. That means breakfast is at 7:15 and while they’re eating breakfast and playing they can feed her at 7:45.”
This mom barely stops to take a breath as she rattles all this off. Oh, and in case you didn’t notice, “mom math” has very little to do with moms—there’s nary a mention of a shower or even a cup of coffee in there because it’s all about getting the kids ready.
“It’s this mental backwards math you have to do any single time you want to go someplace — counting naps, counting snacks, counting parties, getting ready. Mom Math,” she says.
Whew, we feel that. It sure is less fun than girl math, which has rules like, “If you buy it with cash or money in your Venmo account, it’s free.” But it’s still something moms can rally behind because we all know that mom math is very, very real.
When parents become grandparents, it’s pretty easy for them to say, “My kids survived—in fact, they turned out fine—so I should be able to care for my grandchildren exactly the same way.” This can be a huge source of conflict between grandparents and their adult kids—which is why one grandma (who’s also a pediatrician) is here with an important TikTok video that needs to be shared far and wide.
She goes by Ask Bubbie on TikTok, and in her now-viral video, she’s sharing some incredibly important safety standards that have changed since today’s grandparents were raising their kids—plus explaining the evidence behind the changes to help them understand why “the way things used to be” isn’t the best anymore.
“The recommendations now are for all babies to sleep on their backs,” Bubbie explains. “The American Academy of Pediatrics came out with that recommendation in 1994, and in the first year alone, there was a reduction of 60% in Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), or crib death, as some of you know it. That was the largest decrease of any intervention we’ve ever done.”
She adds that not only should babies sleep on their backs, they should be in an empty crib with no bumpers. And pacifiers are encouraged—they also reduce the risk of SIDS!
The next big change has to do with feeding.
“We used to introduce one new food at a time, and we were very concerned about allergenic foods and started those much later,” Bubbie says. “The recommendations have done a complete 180. It’s been found that if you introduce all of the allergenic foods early, you lower the risk of allergies.”
And last but not least, there’s car seat safety. While parents used to turn their car seats around so their kids were front-facing once they met just one of the criteria for it, they now wait much longer.
“The recommendation now is that you don’t turn them around until they meet all the criteria,” Bubbie says. “That means a lot of them look really uncomfortable. You’ve got babies sitting there with their legs squished up against the back seat of the car… but the studies have shown that their chance of surviving, unhurt, in an accident is far greater if they’re kept rear-facing until they meet all the requirements.”
Bubbie ends her video with a message to the other grandparents out there—that when their kids fight them on these things, it’s not because they think they did things wrong when they were growing up, it’s just because they want their babies to be as safe as possible. And that’s something we can all agree on.
This mom is warning other women: The “village” everyone tells you to expect when you have kids isn’t about to magically appear
When you see people raising children in the movies, so often, they really do have a village around them: family, close friends, a community of people ready to step up and help support and love their kids as they grow. In real life, though, that’s not always (or even usually) how it works. And one mom is taking to TikTok to spread the message that women need to prepare themselves for the fact that when they become moms, the village they see in pop culture isn’t going to magically appear.
Caylee Cresta, a content creator and mom, made the viral video where she claimed we need to “stop telling mothers that it takes a village when they don’t have a village.”
In her video, Cresta points out that the reality for many women is that their husbands aren’t good or equal partners, their families live far away (or worse, are toxic or uninterested in being involved), and adult friendships are rare—and we’re all too tired and burned out to care for ourselves, let alone step up for our friends.
“That means no one is coming to help us, and it’s nothing like we imagine it would be,” she says. “We watch movies where women make friendships and develop a sense of sisterhood when it comes to raising kids, but the truth is that most of us will never know that to be anything more than fiction.”
She continues, “So we rely on childcare from strangers we have to pay instead of friends and family that we trust—and most of us can’t afford that childcare, so it just becomes something else we have to stress and lose sleep over. No one’s going to walk into your house and tell you to take a nap while they watch the baby, and they’re not going to clean your countertops while you sleep. There’s no sense of community in most areas.”
At the end of her video, Cresta adds, “There’s no welcome wagon. No one’s going to make you meals on the week you deliver your baby. The people who say, ‘Call me if you need me,’ don’t mean it, and we’re too afraid to burden the people who actually do. Stop telling us about a village, because a village isn’t coming. We’re doing it on our own, and it’s hard.”
She has a point. While some moms are lucky enough to have a village—family, friends, or community—it’s never guaranteed, for any mom. But if you didn’t have one before, you can go into motherhood prepared and purposefully start looking and asking for help.
The hopeful message is that villages exist. They’re out there. You just need to find them.
This viral video shows what Finnish daycare is like and it’s proof that childcare can be both high-quality and affordable if we just prioritize it
In the U.S., more than 97% of married couples have at least one parent who works—and in 65% of families, both parents are employed. But taking care of a child is a full-time job, and it’s pretty much impossible to do that while also, you know, doing your full-time job, which is why many parents opt for daycare. That’s a fraught choice in the U.S., though, where the average cost of childcare has soared in recent years. Depending on the state where you live, daycare can cost well over $1,000 per month per child, meaning the cost can actually outpace the earnings of the working parent when more than one child needs care. And now, a viral video of Finnish daycare is showing Americans how much better things could be if we just prioritized parents and kids in this country.
The video was posted by Finnish mom Annabella Daily, who shares details of what daycare is like for her son.
“Here kids are encouraged to be independent and their educators are not called ‘teachers,’ but specialists in early childhood upbringing,” she explains.
Daily says kids in Finland attend daycare from ages one to six, where they’re encouraged to learn through play. They spend several hours outside each day and are also served warm, healthy meals and snacks, which they eat together at tables in a dining room.
“They also do art, music, and crafts,” she says.
One of the parts of Finnish daycare that will be especially foreign to American viewers is that kids are potty trained there “in their own time,” using tiny potties and sinks.
Oh, and here’s the kicker. In Finland, this high-quality care is considered “every parent’s and child’s right,” so it’s subsidized by the government. Parents pay a maximum of $325 per month. No, not per week. Per month.
This is a truly heart-wrenching reminder that things don’t have to be how they are in the U.S. This is what childcare looks like in a country that prioritizes and invests in parents and kids—and we could very well do that here. All it takes is supporting political organizations and politicians who work for policies that would invest in this kind of change. It’s not out of reach, but it takes widespread support that starts with many of us.
Video creator and father Tyler Calmus has dropped a hilarious video on the top five parents at school drop off. The owner of the YouTube Channel, Dude Dad has pretty much nailed each and every one of them, and confession: we now have to admit our “type.”
At the top, the “Always Late Parent.” We’ve been there, we see you, we are you. From wondering where their kids’ shoes are, to realizing they didn’t pack a lunch, to pleading with the kids to just freaking run before the second bell, the world wouldn’t be the same without a late parent.
Dude Dad
Then comes “the Clinger.” Ahh, if only they were relegated to first-time preschool parents and kindergarteners. But alas, Clingers are everywhere. From the non-stop hugs and pictures to the “I’m so proud of you’s,” you likely have a Clinger in your kiddos class that is bringing all the feel-good vibes.
Dude Dad
On to one of our faves, “The Cyclist.” While represented this particular way for Dude Dad’s video, these parents may also come in the form of a jogger, complete with an enormous BOB Stroller. We can’t help but love the obvious stretches, references to a generic job, and directions to not mingle a $1,700 Trek bike with the Huffy’s.
Dude Dad
Don’t see yourself yet? Well, say hello to “The Impatient Parent.” We don’t have time for on-site ponytails, sporadic PTA meetings that block the carpool lanes, or missing shoes. We will grunt and moan and groan until you move.
Dude Dad
Oh hey! Last but certainly not least, “The PTA Mom.” She is on a mission and she will get you to help, even if she has to hunt you down and slap her clipboard to get you to do it! Even though they can come across as a little annoying, PTA Moms make the world go round!
You know that time when you have a newborn, and everything is chaos, and you’re so tired, and the days and nights and weeks just blend together, and you’d give anything for a break? This mom has discovered a truly life-saving hack for those postpartum moms. We’re going to just say this right now: it involves the gym, but don’t worry, there’s no working out in this story (unless that’s the form of self-care you need, in which case, you do you!).
Hannah, a mom on TikTok, shared this hack in a viral video, explaining how the practice “saved” her mental health.
100/10 would do this mum hack again, especially around the 5 month mark where life is just ramping up and theyre developing so much and you are just SO TIRED. Postpartum is HARD, and we’re just doing our best as new mums but this seriously saved my mental health in motherhood some days! #newmumtips#mumhack#motherhoodhack#momhack#mumsoftiktok#motherhood#firsttimemum#mummentalhealth
“This was way before I was willing to send my son to daycare—as a first-time mom that just terrified me—but we were out of the newborn bubble, and I was just f*cking exhausted,” she explained. “I just needed a break sometimes, like an hour.”
If that isn’t relatable to postpartum moms, I don’t know what is.
Hannah continued, “I had never even heard of a creche—first-time mom things.”
Now, Hannah is clearly not from the U.S., and you may not have heard of a creche either, since that’s not a super common term here. But basically, it’s free or low-cost childcare at places like schools, churches, or stores. Or, in Hannah’s case, at the gym.
“I found a gym right near our house that was beautiful. It had a pool, a sauna, and a creche,” she said. “Now, this isn’t another story about exercising and postpartum and bouncing back, because we are not about that. We signed up on a trial, and I can take my baby there every day for up to two hours… and I wouldn’t even work out. Sometimes I would just go sit at the coffee shop and have a coffee and stare into the abyss. Sometimes I could swim or have a sauna. Sometimes I’d walk on the treadmill. Sometimes I would work out.”
The important thing, Hannah pointed out, was that she got two hours per day to herself while her baby was being cared for. She could do whatever self-care felt right during that time. And the kicker? The creche cost her $8 per week.
In the U.S., you may not find a “creche” per se, but you can still find gyms that offer childcare to their members. And while you’ll still need to pay the cost of the gym membership, if it has the right amenities for the self-care you need during your postpartum journey, it’s probably worth it.
A viral video of a dad fainting in the delivery room has women in stitches at what is obviously the weaker sex
We all know that men are the weaker sex, but it’s not often that we get proof. On video. But that’s what happened in a viral TikTok video that shows a dad fainting in the delivery room, because of course. While the women keep working around his limp body, because of course. And it happened before his wife had even gotten to the worst of it, because of freaking course.
New mom Corianne Johnson filmed the video, which shows her husband, Cody, crumpled on the delivery room floor. The extra hilarious part is how the labor and delivery nurses just keep carrying on around him like he’s not even there. I’m sure they’ve seen this before. In later clips in the video, Cody is seen crawling on the floor, sipping some juice, and passed out on the couch. His wife, meanwhile, continues the process of giving birth to their child.
The text over the video reads, “I’m totally not going to pass out while you’re in labor, babe.”
Here’s the really wild part: Cody didn’t even make it to gnarly parts of delivery before fainting. He passed out while his wife was getting her epidural. That’s like being on a roller coaster and throwing up while it’s being pulled up the hill before the first drop.
Luckily, the TikTok commenters are appropriately roasting Cody.
“Not him tucked in like he had a hard day,” one wrote.
“I would have laughed so hard the baby would have just came right out.”
“The crawling has me DEAD.”
And also luckily, Corianne said he’s been taking it all in stride.
“They’re savage. We’ve just been laughing at them,” she told Today.
It’s back-to-school time again, and this mom’s viral video outlining rules for her son should inspire parents everywhere
Moms, here’s how you make the back-to-school transition as easy as possible. With first days right around the corner, one mom is going viral on TikTok for the very honest, very blunt list of rules she’s made for her son. You can tell this is a mom who suffers no fools—and who is setting her son up for a successful transition from summer back to the classroom.
“So I just got the notice that my son’s school starts up in a few weeks, and now it’s time for me to pull out the PowerPoint presentation on how the rules for back-to-school are gonna go,” the mom, who goes by @thicnicjack on TikTok, starts her video.
She continues, “It is also entitled, ‘What we not gonna do, because this ain’t that.'”
She then launches into the rules, starting with, “What we not gonna do is change up our stomach energy. You’ve been living on a diet of hot chips, chicken nuggets, and every popsicle and disgusting drink known to man, without one stomach ache. You’re not about to come to me talking about ‘my stomach hurt’ like you’ve got the intestinal tract of a geriatric Crohn’s patient. This ain’t that.”
Amen, mama. What is it about back-to-school time that makes tummy aches flare up like they do? We have our hunches.
Rule #2? “What we not gonna do is act like we can’t wake up. You’ve getting up at 6:77 every morning—and yes, I said 6:77 because it’s some ungodly hour that doesn’t exist—asking me about breakfast. This ain’t that.”
@thicnicjack continues through her list of rules in a similarly direct fashion, noting that her son will be preparing his clothes for school the night before and that he won’t be acting like he’s run out of school supplies on Day 2, after she “spent $75,000 making sure everything on that list was there.” Then she gets to one that will have every parent nodding along.
“What we not gonna do is tell me about reports, permission slips, and picture day packets the day before they’re due. I’m not about to get my blood pressure up running around to get supplies.”
In the comments, other parents are praising these no-nonsense rules.
“This is the best PSA ever for children,” one wrote. Another added, “Ma’am respectfully, do you do presentations via Zoom?? cause my boy needs this.”
In a viral TikTok, a mom explains why doing drop-off and pickup isn’t all that helpful
When it comes to parenting, men are too often praised for doing the bare minimum. Take drop-offs and pickups, for example. A dad who drops off kids and picks them up from school or summer camp gets praised for doing a great job, while a mom doing those things is just doing what a mom is supposed to do. In reality, though, doing drop-offs and pickups isn’t that big of a deal—and it doesn’t even put a dent in the actual mental load that goes into those tasks, as one mom explains in a viral video.
In her video, Paige Turner describes the difference between “labor” and “mental load” in the context of drop-offs and pickups so parents can better understand the difference.
“Dropping your kids off at school, picking them up from school, is not the mental load,” she says. “That is labor that has to get done. Somebody has to do that. Somebody has to coordinate it, right? But that is not the mental load.”
She continues, “So, what is the mental load when it comes to school drop-off, pickups, etc? What is the mental labor that goes into kids going to school, camp, etc.? It’s all the tiny little things that lead up to that kid getting dropped off. It’s the person that knows when school starts and when school ends. Is it a half-day? Late start? What about the bus, when does the bus come? When does the bus drop off at the end of the day? What about on a half-day or a late start day? Do they need lunch on these days?”
“I just got two handouts for camp for this week of all the information I need to know for every single day of the week,” she says. “Monday, this is just a fun day. Tuesday, pizza day, you need to bring in cash. Cash only, exact change, nothing else. Wednesday? Oh, guess what, the ice cream truck’s coming. It ranges from $2 to $5, more cash.”
While Paige is setting reminders on her phone for all of that information, Dad thinks he’s doing an equal share of the work by driving the kids to and from camp. But that’s not equal, clearly. And even though she’s able to delegate some of the preparatory tasks to her partner, she’s still the one carrying the mental load, because she has to tell him what to do.
In an equal partnership, no parent should need to receive instructions from the other—on any aspect of parenting. Both should be involved equally enough that they have the same level of knowledge about their kids, their lives and activities, and what it takes to run their household. Anything less than that is unequal.
Here’s something they don’t tell you about being a parent: Someday you’ll be in the front seat of your car spitting out idle threats while your kids scuffle over something as small as a one-and-a-half calorie breath mint. But there I was, with my boys in full melee mode while I unsuccessfully tried to quell the conflict between siblings.
According to this ABC News report, young siblings argue an average of 3.5 times an hour—up to ten minutes every hour. In addition, siblings make 700 percent more negative and controlling statements to each other than they do to friends, the report said.
Parent coach Abigail Wald, who has helped more than 10,000 families through her nontraditional parent coaching program, says, “Essentially, all of these experiences are good training wheel dramas for everything that our children are going to have to deal with throughout their lives.”
Whether you’re trying to referee your toddlers or help tweens learn how to be patient with younger siblings, there are a lot of times we as parents have to step in—and other times we need to sit back and let our kids handle things on their own. But how do you know when to do what? We talked with experts to find out what parents should do when kids fight. Here’s what we found out:
Let’s face it: If your kids are actual human children, they’re bound to argue. So should you make like a hockey ump and squeeze yourself between them? Or should you step back and let them work it out on their own?
The answer might be somewhere in between, said California psychologist Dawn Huebner.
You see, it’s not always about ending the fight; it’s about giving them the skills—like listening, taking turns, and compromising—they need to solve the problem. According to Huebner, who is the author of several books, including The Sibling Survival Guide: Surefire Ways to Solve Conflicts, Reduce Rivalry, and Have More Fun with your Brothers and Sisters, “A lot of parents think either you get involved as a referee or you just leave them alone to sort things out. But there’s actually a middle ground that’s the most effective: Getting involved, not to solve the problem but to coach your kids to solve the problem.”
When you see your kids fighting over a particular thing (because face it: they’ll always want the same toy, right?), try to help them figure out how to take turns (Hint: Always do this when you’re standing in front of them, not yelling from the kitchen across the room.)
For younger kids, you can try a “toy timer” that lets them know when to take turns. This can be as simple as watching the clock or setting a timer on your phone. For older kids, you can ask them to suggest solutions that would work for both sides.
“It’s not so much that you’re proposing negotiations, but you want to be asking questions that help them figure out how to work it out. The goal is to help them learn how to listen to one another and how to make compromises among themselves,” Huebner said.
And while it may seem like getting rid of the toy in question is the easiest solution—especially when you are tired of trying to intervene—Wald said that’s the worst thing a parent can do. “Because then everybody is pissy and blames everybody else.”
When they’re fighting over screen time
Before you start watching TV or online games, do the pre-work. Talk to your kids about what they think is fair: Could they take turns with their TV shows? Could they have a timer set and trade when it goes off? Younger kids may need more involvement in sticking to these rules, but no matter the age, it’s best to set the parameters before kids start watching TV or playing video games.
When they’re fighting about privacy
If your older child loses his cool every time his younger siblings barge into his room, find a time to have a discussion about how to give the younger sib a 10-minute “time slot” that both kids are OK with—or, make door signs that can tell outsiders when it is OK and NOT OK to come into the room (or bathroom).
When they’re fighting about the same thing (again)
Do your kids fight every time they get into the car? Is there a brawl every time it’s family movie night? It’s time for some pre-work! For instance, decide on a “seat schedule” to dictate who gets to sit in a particular seat/row in the car, or set a schedule for who chooses the family movie every week.
“When something happens over and over again, that tells you that you need to help your kids come up with some plan about it when it’s not happening. You need to talk to them in advance and come up with a solution together that you can both live with,” Huebner said.
When the fight turns physical
If you sense an argument is headed for blows (or if it already has), step in between your children and physically separate them. According to Huebner, the best course of action is to “Say something like, ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa—Things are getting really heated here,” “You want your initial comment to be about the situation; not the child. You’re not blaming anyone.”
Then, explain to your kids that they need to calm down before they can talk (this usually means keeping them physically apart for a few minutes). And don’t try to decode the issue until that happens.
“When kids are in a heightened state—when they’re yelling at each other—it literally means they don’t have access to their prefrontal cortex, the thinking part of the brain.”
When it seems like they’re always fighting
If you feel like your kids are constantly at each other, try to rewrite the narrative by focusing on the positive. In this article by the Child Mind Institute, psychologist Stephanie Lee proposed a genius way to do this: by encouraging kids to “Tootle” instead of tattle.
Tootling, the article explains, is calling out positive behavior. So, have your kids tell you when a sibling does something nice, like sharing. You can even put a coin in a “Tootle Jar” to celebrate these moments; that way your kids are noticing (and, hopefully, striving for) the positive moments rather than brewing in the bad times.
“For every time you catch them fighting, you want to catch them playing nicely together three to five more times. “We want to encourage that in order to really change their behavior,” Lee said in the article.
